/lit/ - Literature

>>15446618
He just has a very punchable face.

>>15446618
Because he's a terrible writer. If you'd read his books, you'd know. They appeal to teenage girls and they all follow the same formula.

he likes his cheerios with 48 dicks in them lul

>>15446618
They hate the fact someone could write something better than them and make tens of millions while doing it.

>>15446618
He's ugly and has a very beta face. He writes garbage and runs a YouTube channel for annoying retards that can't be bothered to research or read anything on their own, so they take his word for Holy Gospel.

>>15446744
>Low bodyfat percentage
>Clear skin
>Symmetrical features
>Straight hairline
He literally looks like a normal, slightly above average guy.

>>15446760
To 4chan, if you’re not a chad, you’re nothing

>>15446760
>Low bodyfat percentage
Come on m80, the guy's skinny fat. You'd think we never joined with /fit/ for a couple of days.

>>15446869
That doesn't make much sense, given that no one on 4chan is a chad.

>>15446883
I think it might be relative. People on here tell me I'm one a lot.

>>15446618
He’s a very bad writer (“if people were rain”) and he has frequently acted in a very cringe way (see cereal penis)
>>15446744
He isn’t ugly at all, he looks like a normal guy but that doesn’t stop him being a faggot
>>15446760
>low body fat percentage
He’s clearly chubby at the least

>>15446618
>Genuinely wondering. Haven't read anything by him, but I heard a friend of mine talk about him and I want to be edgy and shit-talk him.
I have to assume you're not genuine and this is just a shitpost because John Green is notable on /lit/ for his faggoty writing. Take pic related for instance. He literally wrote a book for girls. You have to be on a special type of estrogen to be able to write a love story. We also hate the audience that made this book so popular. Death of literature, death of the author as they say...

There are more high IQ people living right now in history and although I am loathe to admit, John Green does have a high IQ. Yet there are fewer geniuses alive right now in the moment and it is because "genius" causes controversy. Try reading someone a century prior to John Green and behold the difference.

>>15446618
Cheerios

>>15446952
>He literally wrote a book for girls.
That isn't why his writing is considered bad, wth? It's the over the top, almost nonsensical metaphors, the shit like the Anne Frank House "they're just stupid teens bro!" clapping scene, the racially stereotyped and extremely awkward toothpaste fellatio, and that the main meat to any of his books is like a 90s movie pitch.

>>15446618
He is a onions cuck

>>15446952
>Death of literature, death of the author as they say...
Fucking hell, I'm gonna backtrace you so hard....

>>15446969
>toothpaste fellatio
lmao which book is that? Give some details

>>15446997
It's his first one, the Alaska one. That title sums up a bit of what's wrong with the spirit of his writing btw "Look how clever it is, you see there's a place called Alaska, but it's also the name of a character!"

He's a succesful author writing YA for a dimwitted audience – anybody who sees success through their mediocricy is despised by lit, and I would say rightfully so.

No need to tolerate obviously pandering, carefully marketed, uninspired lazy shit.

>>15446969
Its really one of many reasons why John Green is bad. But John Green was a struggling author before Fault in Our Stars so it almost doesn't matter what he wrote before becoming famous.
>>15446974
Huh what do you mean?

>>15447019
>But John Green was a struggling author before Fault in Our Stars
I thought he was a semi-successful internet personality.
>Huh what do you mean?
Read Barthes' essay on the death of the author, you have failed (spectacularly) to infer what it means.

>>15447004
I read that one a long time ago and I don't remember him getting blown. I thought he just kissed her once and then she an hero'd.
That book got shilled on /b/ back in the day because we identified with the long run on sentences that were like: 'im a giant pussy and she's hot and perfect and I never will never have a chance boo hoo'
That was a long time ago.
Yeah that book is pretty bad.

>>15446618
He's a cuckold, why have any respect for a man that doesnt respect himself

>>15447035
>I read that one a long time ago and I don't remember him getting blown. I thought he just kissed her once and then she an hero'd.
Haha, no. If I remember right they're watching the Brady Bunch, then she (the Romanian??? exchange student, he writes her with some Latin maid accent anyway) out of nowhere asks if he wants a blowjob but doesn't know what to do so they go ask Alaska who gives them both a demo with a tube of toothpaste. It is so unnecessarily awkward and... it's like it's written by an alien.

I've seen some early interviews with him where it sounds like he was quite aggressive with trying to get blowjobs from the co-eds at his boarding school, I kind of feel like that scene is a way to sanitise some of the shit he did then, honestly.

>>15446618
>come back to /lit/ after 4 years
>this thread is still up
wtf

>>15446618
He's a terrible writer, he has an extremely disagreeable face, and he's an insufferable white liberal.

>>15447025
>Read Barthes' essay on the death of the author, you have failed (spectacularly) to infer what it means.
Lol you're right.
>I thought he was a semi-successful internet personality.
In 2009 he reached 100,000 subscribers on his channel vlogbrothers. I don't believe YouTube paid their content creators back then.

In 2012 (the year Stars came out) he reached a million possibly overnight but there is no way to tell. This is the year PewDiePie also became famous.

I might have shit taste for liking his crash course series though, idk. But the man does know how to present things, deliver facts and run an e-business.


Sources:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Green_(author) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlogbrothers

>>15447123
>Lol you're right.
Good job on reading it dude, you're okay.

>I don't believe YouTube paid their content creators back then.
I think I got invited to partner when I was still in uni, so I don't think it was much after that. Either way, a lot of big business types were looking at youtube for personalities, there were other sources of money. I'm sure somebody would have contacted them about a potential TV show deal or something.

>>15447069
Oh I was imagining somebody giving somebody else a blowjob with toothpaste in their mouth.
I've never given a blowjob before but it can't be that hard. To warrant a demonstration.

>The Odyssey is like so dumb. Odysseus has sex with like a ton of girls but he's going to kill Penelope if she's not faithful? That's not very feminist, Ody. You got some learnin' to do.

>Now for today's thought bubble: a little tiny Lysistrata figurine. Oh Homer, we can't possibly hold you accountable for not being a feminist in ancient Greece, after all, it's not like feminism existed back then, oh wait, it totally did, you misogynist pig.

>Back to the Odyssey: is Penelope the true hero of the story? Yes. Yes she is. That's all we have time for today, be sure to like and subscribe and buy tickets to my new movie: The Da Vinci Code with Teenagers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS4jk5kavy4&t=7m15s

>>15446682
what's wrong with having a horde of eighteen-to-twenty-year-old girls fangirling over you?

>>15446618
He is the Pewdiepie of literature

>>15447191
The amount of 30-50 yo divorced men that read the books because of said fanbase.

>>15447288
I have never heard any examples of this happening. If anything the problem is adult women still reading his works

>>15447296
>I have never heard
You have now. They can never remember anything about the books either, I've had to explain what a paper town is three times to three different people.

>>15447310
Well this is disappointing news indeed

>>15446760
Maybe 1% of women will find him sexually attractive. At least before he was famous.
>>15446912
Yeah on paper he doesn't look hideous of course, but like I said to most women he is very unattractive. What is worse he looks like a typical submissive male. The kind of guy who you'd imagine got bullied a lot in school for being a pushover.

>>15446711
based

>>15447415
>The kind of guy who you'd imagine got bullied a lot in school for being a pushover.
The weird thing is from what I understand he was the opposite, he pretends to be a nice guy now because that markets him well.

>>15447415
Dude, you're way off.

>>15447473
I thought he was cucked by his current wife back then until she settled with him due to fame/money.
>>15447529
No chance pal, he definitely isn't attractive to most women.

>>15447575
I'm not going to waste time looking for them, but he has some very old interviews where he comes across as a very different person. It happens that being a predatory sex pest can be done by both ALPHACHUDS and NICEGUYS, he now portrays himself as a nonthreatening niceguy while he behaved like an alpha horndog for his early adult years. I'm fairly sure he's a psychopath, he's worked out that toning down the arrogant rich kid shit is good for his image now he's married.

>>15447004
>what is the importance of being earnest

>>15447728
additionally while much is made of the cheerio quote to a cuck comparison, it is implied in the way he talks about trying lots of different cereals he's clearly justifying being a fuckboy and having dipped his penis in a lot of cereal bowls

>>15446618

>>15446618
high levels of s.o.y

>>15447744
I don't think of Alaska as a person's name, Earnest is and it fits in with the story overall.

>>15448207
I've never read his works. What other manga did he write?

>>15448207
Lmao I remember that post! I was actually one of the people who replied to him. He captured John Green perfectly with that.

>>15447176
Jesus, what a total faggot. How does this guy look at himself in the mirror each morning?

>>15448251
dude! thats awesome! can I suck your cock?

>>15446618
He's sjw. It's ok to say it, gamergate was and still is a thing. Just own up to it.