/lit/ - Literature

Haha based. You should post this on /sp/

Another quality thread for our betterment

Perennially injured forward Danny Welbeck and Michel Houellebecq are forced to swap places due to some kind of bureaucratic error. Danny finds himself in the middle of the haute bourgeois Parisian literary scene, where his earthy tales of a rough northern childhood and poached goals at the Stadium of Light convince Matthias Enard, Frederic Beigbider and Emmanuel Carrere that he is the next big name in French letters. He hooks up with Virginie Despentes.

Michel is forced to relocate to Watford, where he finds the post-war concrete hellscape sitting beside commuter-belt surburbia a perfect location for further literary endeavours. However, he must balance his new novel about a listless employee of the National Department of Agriculture observing a grooming gang operating from the kebab shop below his flat with regular substitute appearances for Nigel Pearson's relegation-threatened side. Despite his heavy smoking costing him a place in the starting XI and even on the bench, he endears himself to the players with sexual anecdotes and trips to his beach house in Spain. Unfortunately he turns the goalkeeper onto Schopenhauer, who loses the will to live and gets the team relegated. Michel, however, is no longer a pessimist, having realised that authentic English lasses have none of emotional baggage or self-destructive impulses that French women have.

Danny and Michel finally cross paths at a literary conference in London, where Michel tells Danny that he's "pretty good, for a black writer."

>>15279557

>>15278261
based