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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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15233266 No.15233266 [Reply] [Original]

My desire for you is insatiable

My love for you, sensational

You ease my mind, even though you say I'm irascible!

When we first met, I could do nothing but blush

Oh Lexi love, you give me such a rush!

You are the catalyst for my catecholamines

Whenever I feel lost and lonely

All you have to do is hold me

You know me like no one else knows me

I can’t bear to continue this erratic emancipation

So with an overanxious anticipation

I ask you with my dearest declaration

Will you take us back from this silly separation?

>> No.15233276

>>15233266
I broke up with my ex for insecurity reasons among some other things that were making the relationship a little dicey.

However, I really want her back. It has been less than a week no contact. I'm not quite sure what to do.

I made this poem for her.

What does /lit/ think about this?

Too corny? Decent? Respectable?

Want honest opinions....
thank you!

pic semi-related. She looks a bit like her.

>> No.15233336
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15233336

>>15233266
>>15233276
words are a piss poor form of communication, and best saved for autistic savants with a better understanding of the human lexicon then i (and you)

oh what i would do for a more glib tongue

>> No.15233394

>>15233336
Ouch...thanks for the honesty...

>> No.15233414

>>15233394
I wish you the best, anon. Good luck, and god speed.

>> No.15234308

>>15233266
High school love note core
> prose 2/10
> vernacular 3/10
> brevity 1/10

Don’t ever send her this unless you want to give her and her girlfriends a good hearty chuckle.

>> No.15234659

>>15233276
Your Ex is Lexi Love, the porn star? What do you take me for? A brainless lizzard? Rich hoodlump? If I go onto a literature forum, I want to see literature. Sing women if you must, but do it without making everyone cringe. Cocksuckers like you are dime a dozen around here, anon, and I'll be fucked if I stand for this bullshit anymore. Sincerely, anon.

>> No.15234754

>>15234308
>>15234659
Lmao...

Hey at least you guys are brutally honest.

I don't read for shit. You guys spend your time with your heads in a different book every other week.

I admire your dedication to such stimulation of the mind. I could never sit down and focus my entire thought on the endless slew of words being thrown at me, page after page.

I would have liked to been able to pick up that ability and have the patience to learn and develop a deeper sense of vocabulary. However, I've always been more into immediate gratification and more intense stimulation like physically enduring tasks.

To each their own I suppose.

Although I do like to write poetry every now and then. No matter how cringe and awful it may be. Yet, as the saying goes, life is a matter of practice.

>> No.15234800
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15234800

>>15234754
don't let us stop you, anon. poetry can get you girls, but there's hardly anything that can get you a girl back. your poem is bad, but it is not horribly bad. delete "Your are the catalyst..." line though. you need to rewrite all, so that the structure doesn't appear random. the tone needs to be less needy. put yourself in her place. then reconsider. maybe it's best you keep it to yourself. and move the fuck on. (whatever you do, don't make a fool of yourself. if you cannot stop yourself from doing anything, ask a mutual friend what she is thinking about the two of you.)

>> No.15234804

>>15233266
>nose ring

>> No.15234843

>>15233266
Lmao. Sound like a lost verse from a Four Seasons song.