/lit/ - Literature

>>15143673
Non-Violent Communication? Transactional Analysis?

There's no reason to analyze social interactions at all, stop expecting things from people because frankly nobody is going to give you what you need

>>15143673
>'compassion through the lens of self-interest'

>>15143766
>>15143781
No, I mean like looking at the world through the vise of game theory. Like, instead of meeting someone you don't like with the surface-level appopriate emotion (disgust, disdain) which could end up hurting your cause, you try looking at them through the scope of "how could I use this interaction to help me get where I want to be, based on what I know about this person's temperament and our past interactions?" The mindset that allows the sociopath (psychopath?) to meet a colicky person with the enthusiasm and affableness which allows him to profit (rather than accrue loss) from the other.

>>15143673
Do you even know what you’re saying hylic? How could you look at a social interaction in any way except emotional? The social is emotional. Your definition of objective is “if you were a rock”.

>>15143673
Well, that would not be "objective" in the way you probably mean, either - you would be observing them in relation to your desires, viewed as objects (interests).
At any rate to view a relation reflexively, you must only mentally dissociate yourself from it. Remove it from immediate into reflexive consciousness. You need no literature. Just practice.
I replied because the picture was pretty cute.

This is probably the closest you'll find: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book)

Essentially you should be treating all social interaction as a game with semi-formal rules. Games where you socialize to meet people and prove yourself worthy of friendship, games where you encourage one another, games where you tease, games where you flirt, and so on.

Most people already know this on an intuitive level because if you reply to someone play-teasing you with a serious retort, it's cringe. And if you don't know how to flirt, it's cringe.

OP you are a exactly right. All actions are innately selfish, so we need a new system that maximizes personal gains, but stops at the edge of other people's discomfort. For example, if you place a bowl of candy between us and say "dig in" the imperative is on you to stop me from eating the whole bowl, I should not feel "guilt" or "remorse" as your face twists in silent discomfort as I pour the whole bowl of candy into my bag and leave. It is entirely YOUR fault for lacking the selfish actualization that I possess.
Compassion BLOOMS from this system, where one's health is sketched out by how HONEST they are. Caring about people because of what they can give you is not wrong, it's already the TRUTH.

>>15143879
Why would i enable your sociopathy? Read some Kant instead.

>>15143673
>>15143879
Never Eat Alone. The general idea is to loyally do positive, helpful things for others over time to network, with the expectation of using the network far int othe future (up to 1-2 years after).

Honestly, "compassion through the lens of self-interest" is legitimately a good way to go about things. It helps you avoid getting exploited.
I will say, though, that the game theory per-conversation approach doesn't work in real life. Relationships are a result of long interactions over time, which may not get anywhere.

> Like, instead of meeting someone you don't like with the surface-level appropriate emotion (disgust, disdain)... [you meet them with] enthusiasm and affableness.
There's no short answer or singular book for this.
Go through shitty life experiences and failures, don't be bitter over time, and develop empathy for people in rough situations.
Read Stoicism, to learn the value and 'how' of being non-judgemental. Read The Mind Illuminated. Read Carl Rogers to learn the power of non-judgement.