/lit/ - Literature

to one day be able to truly leave an impact on society in a positive light, and to be able to live modestly and calmly with a trad wife and a few children.

>>15101776
My Ego and my Intellect. As an Aerospace engineer and as Myself, I am set for a life of comfort, self discovery, and growth if I wish to grow.

>>15101817
what a gay fucking answer lol

>>15101776
Basically the same. Future seems bleak but I smoke enough pot to keep me from worrying about it too much

I often remind myself that we’re all puppets trapped in a decomposing cage of flesh and bone, with a million desires whirling around us at all times like sirens attempting to lure us to our doom. That these desires are nothing but the conjured demons of economics, society, and evolution and while they promise fulfillment they will only use you to their own ends, increasing their strength over you, leaving you a slave and a broken human. The world of phenomena is a test, projected by the noumena, and to conquer it you must conquer yourself.

Although I might try to convince myself that life has some external value, after a night drinking with “friends” or a sexual encounter with woman, it quickly becomes apparent that most friends are not worth having, and that woman’s sexual desires are so perverse and banal that their even having desired you bears the weight of a bad conscience. What man does not disgrace himself by submitting to a woman’s desires? He becomes a fool, a brute, a scoundrel, a cuckhold, all at once— and looses himself in the process. What man benefits from society? He devoured his life’s work to the machinations of warfare and industry, he trampled the earth, he becomes bound up in stories told to gullible children, he is sold slavery and like an idiot wears his chains with pride.

Service originates in the Latin word "Servi”, meaning slave. That’s what society, friends, woman the whole world, asks from you, your slavery. In English, the familiar for of “you”, “thou”, has long since died from the language. For those lonely men in Anglo countries seeking company, this should be (with honest reflection) enough proof that you will never find it. We live in a civilizational world-spirit which lacks even the words to express friendship, closeness.

There are two things in life worth their weight in gold: freedom and silence. How many men exchange these treasures for paper? Or for a soft touch of flesh? Or for some false sense of meaning to disguise their emptiness?

In books, there is the peace of forming a genuine connection with another person. If you cannot read, write. If you cannot write, read. If you are still lonely, hire a whore; it is less demeaning and less expensive than going to clubs. Logos is the breaking free of the soul from the flesh, embrace this and turn your eyes from the treachery of desire.

>>15101817
Please discover the grammatical rules of capitalisation before anything else.

>>15101849
No
I Follow no Rules. FuuUck that. I build explosives for Fun, launched a rocket of my own DeSign. Popped green, it did. Pretty mediocre, it was. Pretty pretty, though.

>>15101848
Did you write that? If so it's quite good, I agree with the message.

>>15101776
Very similar, all I care about is philosophy and economics. Life to me is like a movie, I just want to see what happens next. But if it gets lame always have to option to turn it off. I think ill go into the Army for a few year see what happens. It seems to me the world is going to become very interesting in a few mounts - years.
>Coming up this seance on Earth :
>Will Donny win the election?
>Will there be a 2nd Great Depression
>Will the USA finally invade Venezuela
>And is Anon ever going to have sex?
>ALL THIS AND MORE, ON EARTH!

>>15101848
>Although I might try to convince myself that life has some external value, after a night drinking with “friends” or a sexual encounter with woman, it quickly becomes apparent that most friends are not worth having, and that woman’s sexual desires are so perverse and banal that their even having desired you bears the weight of a bad conscience. What man does not disgrace himself by submitting to a woman’s desires? He becomes a fool, a brute, a scoundrel, a cuckhold, all at once— and looses himself in the process. What man benefits from society? He devoured his life’s work to the machinations of warfare and industry, he trampled the earth, he becomes bound up in stories told to gullible children, he is sold slavery and like an idiot wears his chains with pride.
Extremely based.

>>15101891
>But if it gets lame always have to option to turn it off.
I feel this anon

>>15101887
thanks anon. eventually I'll turn it into a manifesto and shoot up a nursery

>>15101929
Based

>>15101848
Indeed, Consciousness is MALIGNANTLY USELESS

>>15101776
sauna, lifting, my wife, my education and the promise of a well payed job at the end
parents, food, music, movies,
obviously literature
faith, duty, primordial drive to live
william carlos williams
burzum
proust
rothko and turrell
ssethstzeentach
the chili chump

a cool breeze I got across the back of my neck through a window I didn't realize I'd left open on the first really sunny (not just muggy) day of spring in a hot basement studying for an AP US History exam

>>15101776
I stay to help my mother, who is old and disabled.
She is a legitimately good person, and the only legitimately good person left alive on this planet that I know of, because the other good people I knew all died.
So when she goes, I will probably drive to the Rocky Mountains, maybe up by Estes Park, and take a header into the white water from a rock face.
I'm good with it.

>>15101965
>ssethstzeentach
You have very good taste, my man

>>15101968
you know deep down your mama wants you to meet a good girl and raise a couple kids of your own. keep your chin up anon. you're doing a great job and things will get better someday

>>15101776
> What keeps your Serotonin flowing?
My conscious awareness in body to pump more feel good hormones as i go about my day.
I already had direct experience with god i want to post deepen that realization as well as increase my energy to enjoy some pleasures in material but primary focus on metaphysical.
Enjoying mysterious of the world maybe even contact with HGA and i enjoy rituals with angels.

>>15101929
based

>>15101776
I love House music and techno and everyday new music and mixes are released and, before corona, every weekend there was a party to go to.
When I am in a conversation one on one with a girl I am attracted to I stumble, but if I meet that same girl in a crowded dance floor filled with sweaty drugged out people dancing to the same 4/4 pattern I can convince her (and myself) that I am in love with her. And, more importantly, the music and the lights tie it all together in a way I cannot describe.
That and having dinner with my mom whenever I am on leave from my military duties. That is what keeps me alive. And if I could have been born earlier only to live as youthful as I look now, I would, only to continue to listen to house and techno and go to the clubs and raves that have shaped who I am to this day.

>>15102244
normie

>>15102251
I know.

>>15101776
Young tight pink pussy

>>15102000
Oh I do know that, she has told me as much.
I don't want to bring more souls into this meat grinder. Life is fucking brutality.
It's not a popular position, but I'm firm.
I thought I wanted kids in my 20s, but after I turned thirty and realized how absolutely poisonous the world is today, I wouldn't want to bring kids into this. It'd be ethically wrong.

>>15101848
based and blackpilled monk of realism

>>15101776
Books to some degree, but mostly hedonism and degeneracy.

>>15101968
are you Albert Caraco?
i respect your decision but at least write a book before kicking the bucket

>>15101848
>>15101929
Holy based

>>15101776
My only real goal is to stop fucking wasting my time in self-destructive dopamine seeking cycles and actually commit myself to producing creative work (probably music) in the hope that I can be good enough to make a lasting mark. As time has gone on I've realised that nothing really is going to get better. I'm not going to marry, not going to have a job I enjoy ever. Probably won't even have a job at all for a long time.

Looking at my own life frankly nothing has really gone too wrong, but nothing has gone right, in that sense there's nothing to live for, but I just keep going on because I'm waiting for something to change.

Life doesn’t have reason. Life only has war

>>15101929
stop larping faggot you're not this >>15101848

>>15102753
That would be an act of sublimation and distraction.
Writing, especially a book, is like any other art, you have to have emotional instability (not insanity, just turmoil and stress) to drive it. You need to have something you feel you need to express.
I can express what's left in me here well enough.
It's not like I'm sad, or upset about it all. I wish that life wasn't what it is, but there's so much shit out there that ought to be a different way. Being upset about it (angry, sad, whatever) does nothing to fix the problem (most of which are so bad precisely because of their intractable nature) and makes what part of my existence I can control worse instead.
So I don't feel anything about it. It just is. Like the rain. I might wish it were sunny but crying doesn't make the clouds break up.

It's just a fact. I know where I'm going and why. That's more than most people ever know, that's more control than most people get. That is actually a prime goal in Yoga, to choose the time and manner of your death, on your own terms.
Not to get attached to anything if you can help it.

>>15101965
>living for Turrell
based
>living for Rothko
cringe
Your life is far too valuable to give to hacks.

>>15101776
Travelling and living nomadically. I would also like to write and play an instrument.

>>15101776
My reason is two people who had unprotected sex. Why do i keep living? Although i see all the bad in the world i somehow cling to a dream in which the my world will be better. Short: Hope.

>>15101865
>i follow no rules
>t. engineer

>>15101965
>ssethstzeentach

The merchants guild smiles upon you anon

I feel pretty similarly, OP. I’m old enough that it feels like things are pretty much over for me anyway. I want to believe the idea that everyone has a purpose in life and they just have to pay attention to the signs to find out what it is. I like to think there’s a story arc where plot lines to one’s life which culminate into a overarching drive and hence purpose in life. It bothers me quite a lot that I seem to have no story arc and no sentiment that it’s worth weathering the storm in the face of that. I’ve been thinking of suicide a lot lately to be honest.

Christ.

I still hope that a miracle will happen and one day my life will change for the better.

>>15103514
how old are you?

>>15102251
people calling someone with an active social life a normie as an insult will for ever be beyond me

>>15103822
27. I know I’m not old but it does feel like I missed the mark already.

I want to buy a pair of allen edmond shoes, and get a book published.

>>15101848
I think I saw this in a different thread last night.

>>15103841
40 is the new 30

>>15101817
You seem like you would enjoy reddit

>>15104063
Is it? When I look at people I admire in both past and present, it seems like there’s a clear story arc which started relatively early.

>>15101776
OP what languages are you studying?
You can make a decent career off of that, try to keep going man.

>>15103514
>I want to believe the idea that everyone has a purpose in life and they just have to pay attention to the signs to find out what it is.

What makes you want something like that? Why is that supposed to be useful or good? No one can live up to that. It sets you and everyone else up to fail.
Why would life resembling fiction help anyone? I'd be deeply disappointed, if life WERE a predictable plot in a genre novel.

If anything, unpredictability or even stability is a relief from drama. Drama is only nice for people watching. I've lived through enough bad shit followed by good and so on that I am deeply enjoying having a boring life now, in my late 30s.
(I'm the guy taking care of his mom now. My life was really dramatic and I traveled more than most do in their lives. Adventure is for Twain & Melville books, in reality it just tears your body up and makes you realize the grass is never greener on the other side)

Reported. Also, you don't need serotonin, you're better than a junkie. Stop chasing highs.

>>15102876
What's your issue with rothko?

>>15101776
Not searching for reasons outside of me
I'm pretty content in general

>>15101896
Why do you hate women so much?

>>15104546
>>15104546
I’m not a neuroscientist but “you don’t need serotonin” is an overkill statement, it’s associated with feelings of well-being and pleasure. Without it, you’d be living life truly anhedonically, without a bit of pleasure

>>15104723
it's not that a lack of serotonin causes depression it's that adding exogenous serotonin can relieve some of the worst symptoms of depression in most people
it's not like a lack of viagra is what's keeping your dick soft

>>15104720
Why would a male like a woman, if women themselves can't like themselves?
To be honest /fit/ changed my sexual orientation greatly.

>>15104813
Yeah, you sound right, I may’ve been thinking of dopamine instead (which gets released even in the most simple pleasures of life like eating good food or cooming)

>>15104720
how you got this idea?
where did he said that he hates women?

>>15104873
maybe.
I don't think neurotransmitters are quite as important as they're made out to be in intro to psych

>>15104720
What is there not to hate about them? They are selfish beings whose brain is incapable of racionality. They cannot comprehend what concepts like honour or pride mean. Be it the result of extreme propaganda or their natural state of being, women are cowards, ready to throw their history away in order to survive.

>>15105110
All that stuff applies to men as well.
Everyone is terrible, including you and including me.

>>15105110
you're describing men as well

>>15105110
spook after spook after spook

>>15101848
Agreed, except for the last paragraph. Knowing that writers are just as human as I am gives me a paradoxical feeling of shame, disgust and admiration. I only keep reading out of convenience, its the easiest hobby to have, you can start and stop whenever and stretch the time investment indefinitely, not to mention its not competitive.

>>15101776
I'm hoping to win the lottery jackpot, only reason I go on. I can't read any more, no longer listen to music, don't play video games and can't watch movies or TV shows. There is no fixing life at this point. Either I win, or perish.

balance of the two perspectives: life has no meaning (helping to numb any perceived pain) life is meaningful on a purely sensational level (helping to appreciate small things of beauty). pic is from zarathustra.

Inertia

>>15105193
You would like Roberto Unger's philosophy books (Self Awakened: Pragmatism Unbound; Religion Of The Future; Singular Universe & Reality Of Time)

>>15101891
This is your brain on the spectacle

>>15101776
I tried to kill myself in the midst of a psychotic episode, thought nothing was real aside from my consciousness so if I kill myself I can exist without the restrictions of physical form, ended up getting sectioned for a while then got released and disengaged from services no more anti psychotics, I still believe that I'm the only person that's real it might be a delusion and I'll find out when I die if it is - but I'm going to make sure I outlive all my family, one of the conditions of release was I move back in with parents and I began to notice my dad would just hang out in front of my door, one night I opened it to ask him why and he explained he waits until he hears some noise from me, typing, movement, snoring because he can't go to sleep unless he knows I'm alive. it's hard to consider other peoples emotions until you see the way it influences their mind or actions or at least for me it was, once all my family and people who care about me have died or left my life I'll kill myself and finally have an answer, even if I'm wrong I don't mind I've been here for too long anyway

>>15105214
You're not real either.
Try to learn to not be a person anymore.

>>15104528
I’m not referring so much to predictability as meaning. It’s less a matter of predicting the future from the past and present and more a matter of being able to appropriate one’s past out of the future in a manner that’s organically nourishing to him. I actually hate these common tropes you hear from the American boomer in particular that go something along the lines of “your teens are for X, your twenties are for Y, your thirties are for Z...”. It’s something that’s actually much more personal than a mere generalization. It’s about using your past to help give form to the future. In your case, it sounds like your past clearly led you to a place where you find solace in your present. Without this past, perhaps your present wouldn’t be so appreciable and your future wouldn’t be so clear.

On a personal note, I led a certain type of life from about 17 to 25 only to come to a sort of personal crisis that’s culminated in a total rejection of the past. Thus, it’s been difficult to appropriate the past in a way that makes the future seem meaningful. It’s a bit like crossing the finish line just as the sun is setting only to realize you showed up at the wrong place on race day.

>>15101776
>What are your reasons for living?
I want to bang sluts.

>>15105238
Are you referencing Buddhism? I know their views on ego and disconnection from self and desire, is that what you mean? could you be more specific?

>>15105109
I hold to something like Mesmerism/vitalism myself, but I still think a lot of neurotransmitters are definitely directly correlated with certain changes in mood and cognition. It’s why drugs work.

>>15105272
sure but how do those neurotransmitters bring about changes, and how do those changes vary between individuals?
receptor density.

>>15105214
>I tried to get attention from my attention seeking disorder
FTFY. If you has meant it, you would have been successful.

>>15105260
Not Buddhism. Buddhism has nonsense like souls that reincarnate, and being saved.

Ligotti on Buddhism:
>There is nothing more futile than to consciously look for something to save you. But consciousness makes this fact seem otherwise. Consciousness makes it seem as if (1) there is something to do; (2) there is somewhere to go; (3) there is something to be; (4) there is someone to know. This is what makes consciousness the parent of all horrors, the thing that makes us try to do something, go somewhere, be something, and know someone, such as ourselves, so that we can escape our MALIGNANTLY USELESS being and think that being alive is all right rather than that which should not be.

I mean to realize a person (you, me), is an assemblage. Like a dust devil. Cold wind hits hot wind, a vortex forms, picking up dust and leaves. The dust devil moves around, seems to be a coherent thing with purpose and directionality. We can even be taken in by it's complexity and think for a second it has intelligence.
But it's just dust and wind. That's not to say it isn't really interesting or anything.
But it's the consequence of large processes and has no individuality or agency.
And that's you, that's me, that's everyone.
It really feels like consciousness is special, but it's a process of modeling attention in an assemblage that exists, in the bigger picture, to dissipate heat.
Consciousness is a liar. If it lies to you about white light (we percieve it as low color and high intensity, while we know intellectually through experiment that it's the muddiest mix of colors), why do we trust it to tell us what it is for itself?

>>15105214
You’re the fake one loser I’m real af

>>15105248
That's an excellent place to be, I've been there before.
Confusion is the closest we come to knowing the face of God.
So embrace that abjection.
The worst has always already happened.
By destroying the past, by being alienated to it, only in this can an emancipatory future be had.

>>15105299
thanks bro, my schizophrenia is cured
on a more serious note why did you write this? even if it's true it doesn't help me or you in anyway all it would do is upset me and since we're strangers why would you want to go out of your way to upset me?
>>15105321
this was a very interesting read thanks anon, is ligotti worth checking out?
>>15105343
made me laugh have a (you) pal

>>15105368
>this was a very interesting read
>is ligotti worth checking out?
I think you just answered that for yourself.
(But of course, there's nothing to do, so waste your time as you are fated to, it's what I do)

>>15105388
>waste your time as you are fated to
This is such a great sentence.

>>15105368
I want to mention though that my post wasn't purely Ligotti.
I also considered Abolishing Freedom by Frank Ruda, Consciousness And The Social Brain by Michael Graziano, and the theories of Jeremy England (dissipation driven adaptation, his lectures are on YouTube)

>>15105388
>>15105402
thanks again lad got some new stuff on my backlog now

I think more than anything, my years of believing Eastern philosophical concepts like in Trika, Vedanta et c, all were broken to fucking pieces by Graziano.
His book makes it undeniably obvious that Consciousness is a fucking liar. This is demonstrably true.
Once you really understand that, it's impossible not to laugh hard at the claims of Advaita &c
"The absolute true reality is AWARENESS" which is a pathological liar.
The irony & absurdy is beyond excellent

>>15105360
Are you religious? I would really like to know.

>>15101848
>>15105202
>>15105321
Few pearls in this thread.

>>15105360
>>15105475
Also, how does one destroy the past?

>According to Thomas Metzinger, no such things as selves exist in the world: nobody ever had or was a self. All that exists are phenomenal selves, as they appear in conscious experience. The phenomenal self, however, is not a thing but an ongoing process; it is the content of a "transparent self-model." In Being No One, Metzinger, a German philosopher, draws strongly on neuroscientific research to present a representationalist and functional analysis of what a consciously experienced first-person perspective actually is. Building a bridge between the humanities and the empirical sciences of the mind, he develops new conceptual toolkits and metaphors; uses case studies of unusual states of mind such as agnosia, neglect, blindsight, and hallucinations; and offers new sets of multilevel constraints for the concept of consciousness. >Metzinger's central question is: How exactly does strong, consciously experienced subjectivity emerge out of objective events in the natural world? His epistemic goal is to determine whether conscious experience, in particular the experience of being someone that results from the emergence of a phenomenal self, can be analyzed on subpersonal levels of description. He also asks if and how our Cartesian intuitions that subjective experiences as such can never be reductively explained are themselves ultimately rooted in the deeper representational structure of our conscious minds.
https://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=ABC6E7FDAB2AA319B75B929FD4E67B74

>>15101776
404 not found

I don't know, last week is was getting to Tekken God Prime.