/lit/ - Literature

Story of my life right here. I post frogs all day. I get more catty, and then find a company on the internet that markets to religious anti-Semites. And while they look ridiculous on a screen, they are nice enough to take my money. Then I was finally able to obtain my first nudes with a group of Jews on their tour of Cyprus, and I am a living, breathing fucking nazi! Needless to say, they're not really interested in my videos now.

Can I get a "cringe"?

>>15098527
based

>>15098527
it's based

>>15098511
I could be the best writer in the world but I wouldn't believe it for a second.

there's so much i could write but ill rather leave these thoughts raw and abstract

>>15098511
oh BOY. These milk chocolates man, you ever had a milk chocolate man? Not in a fetishistic way my dude, no no no, likes the easter eggs. ASS. I mean did Jesus die for this? Dark chocolate egg -good. The red standing for dark chocolate, it just makes sense - that's the best proof of god we've got. NO evolutionary reason to assosciate red to incredible dark chocolate, but we do. Maybe it's just a currency thing? Maybe indeed. There's not enough colour in coins, plenty in notes, but not coins. How strange! A chihuahuahua was yapping at me and my dog yesterday, was about to punt that fucker through the stratosphere. Do you think they eat them in mexico? I wonder what the meat tastes like, hmmmmm yes i had a theory about this, I think they had body dysmorphia - the dogs that is, not the mexicans. I want to go to america one day, i sincerely doubt they are real people. It would be most entertaining to get piss drunk, chat up hot milfs with my European intrigue, and then vomit in her Goyąrd totebag because she probably isn't real. I'm happy!

I don’t think I’m suited to adult company. Everyone I meet seems to be highly motivated and mature, whereas I am still very sensitive and unsure about life. I don’t know what I want to do, where I want to go; I have almost no strong principles; I make socially unacceptable jokes; I get tired easily; I’m a hypochondriac; I’m self-conscious about the way I look; I still get unduly attached to women I meet, to the point where it feels my life is going to end every time one walks away; and my peers all seem to think I’m a tagalong. Idk if I will ever mature.

>>15098511
What did you learn in isolation?

I discovered that I've lost my way of independent self-development. A lot of my work in the last year has been aimed at being a viable candidate for a job, but I remember a time where I would read stuff without giving a crap about the purpose. It was more fun that way.

Now when I read it's more like, this will push my language skills which will be beneficial etc. Now that everything is on hold I'm growing more and more nervous while I study, because that goal isn't there anymore.

Going back to what I was would be more progressive. Corona ended up having a positive side, at least for me.

I've reach my absolute coomer nadir and feel like I simply cannot live with myself any more.

>>15098647
how old are you?

>>15098677
23

when you've been out of the city for long enough, your visual palate is cleansed. no flashy tasteless ads the size of buildings, no people in flashy tasteless clothes. no city palette as we may call it, composed of concrete, cars, plastic and painted metal in all their "modern" colors.

and once you are refreshed enough by subtle and natural hues, the sunsets start hitting like never before. so crisp and sharp, the burst of bright, wildflowers and weighty clouds, reflections in water, first green grass - the Color you could never truly see.

right then you realise how lengthy descritions of nature in classics weren't cliche or tedious. you just never knew what they were talking about.

I feel like French is finally clicking with me. I caught myself thinking French words several times today, finally getting vocab I struggled with into my head.

>>15098690
bros, fuck. the sky was soul-restoring today, but my phone camera doesnt capture it right.
i would call this unexplainable tint of pink and orange "igniscent", maybe not a particular color but a group of dusky hues that look flaming and burn your eye with beauty.

>>15098772
Last summer I saw a sky that had all possible colors.

I read the first part of Aphorisms for Life today, the one about what one is. My edition came with supplementary introduction material too. And goddamn is it good, I can relate way too much to it. Also my best friend called me a nerd for reading it which made me feel I'm not a dumbass with a dumbass lifestyle for a fleeting second.

>>15098838
thats based. summer nights are the best. 10pm sunsents, 3.30am sunrises, exploding with color and flames as if compensating for the entire year of grey transparent skies over dirty snowy ground

How do I even know whats on my mind is all thats in my mind?

I'm getting fat on lockdown

i hate women

>>15098511
I think I realize why you were confused. "L" meant "Lipuma." I was wishing Lipuma well, that she was all right. I wasn't talking about you at all. I was saying I hope the Lipumas are doing okay. Lipuma and her husband are these kind Italian people who gave me their card long ago. It has nothing to do with you or any of your family members, I swear.

But really dude, just leave me alone. You're not going to make anyone on this board like transgenderism or think it's normal so just leave them alone.

>>15098904
here anon, one from me, took it 3 days ago, the spot is 15 min away from my house, there's no higher than that around me, without me traveling a longer distance

>>15099000
> mountains in milky mist in the distance
divine taste.

>>15098923
me too and i am one

I had a dream that a girl I spent some time with in college wrote me an email to tell me I had a meaningful impact on her life. It was maybe the most concrete dream I have ever had—I could even remember it word-for-word when I woke up. I've forgotten it by now, but I checked my email when I woke up to make sure there was nothing there. I even checked my school email, but it has been deactivated for years. I miss her and I miss the vertigo of early love. Leigh.

>>15099134
Different anon but wanna be my gf?

>>15099238
ja but beware

>>15099482
I really like that picture.

>>15099541
Me too. The slightly shaky camera. The dog channeling an array of emotions, looking like he's trying to look unfazed while simultaneously looking very uncomfortable. The fact that the sign could be read as either "Please do not touch. - Japanese dog", "Please do not touch, Japanese dog" or "Please do not touch. Japanese dog.". It's perfect.

>>15099602
his face looks like he hasn't been touched in a while

Dougherty, Vege, etc. I am sorry you had to see that but the dude needed to take a fucking hint. Just leave me alone and I won't say anything. I'm not your friend. Vege's not your friend. Druze girl is not your friend. Etc. Etc. Get lost.

I HATE YOU, YOU BITCH. I WISH I NEVER MET YOU. I HOPE YOU HATE YOURSELF. I KNOW YOUR SICK SECRET.

>>15099617
yes that aswell

schitzo poster is back to derail the thread

I took the language test (for military cryptologists) just for fun, just to see what I would've gotten. Cryptolinguists learn foreign languages to collect intel on other countries and analyzing it. Pretty much spying on them. I got to the category that said I can study any language the military needs, so I mentioned it when I spoke to my Russian boyfriend.

He asked, "What language are you gonna learn?"

"I can learn anything, but I am gonna learn Russian, so I can spy on you and your country."

"Okay, you can spy on me and my country." he chuckled, "We have mountain. We have beach."

"And cute girls playing on the beach."

"with nice butts." he adds.

"When the American military sends drones to other countries, they're not looking for intel or see what the Russian government is doing. They just want to look at hot girls in other countries playing volleyball at the beach."

"The important things. Who cares about anything else?"

"Yes, very critical information. The drone comes back with pictures of butts in bikinis and the soldier gives it to his officer. 'Hey boss, we got intel on the Russians. Are we winning yet?' then officer tells him 'Good job, Private. These are very critical information. I will go study these in my office now. Alone.' and then behind the closed door the soldiers hear a mysterious fapping noise. He's been in there for a while so they think he must have found something important."

"Yeah, just another day in the army."

I then told my bf, "just kidding, I want to learn it so I can live with you." and he gave out a hearty laugh, turning me on a little.

>>15099673
Sorry for venting here, man but please sympathize with me. Jaime and Mancuso have said extremely cruel things to me before but I would still suck it up and be nicer to them than have to see Jame fucking Gumb again. Holy fuck.

>>15099699
damn gumb is such a whore tho

Druze girl, those threads about love were from you, right? I do not like to be ganged up on or stalked but if it is from you it is fine. I hope I haven't offended you too much. I am sure you are pretty.

I've based my entire personality on intelligence and now I realize that I am a pseud.

>>15099977
what brought you to that realization?

>>15098559
Sounds like you need to work on your self-esteem

>>15098647
In describing yourself you have described the majority of adults

>>15098659
I have not experienced any significant change in isolation

>>15098904
>>15098772
Horse notwithstanding, this is a very mediocre sunset. Or at least the pictures of it aren't that great

>>15099948
No one is gangstalking you, you fucking loser. No one could care less if you lived or died.

>>15099617
(i've also not been touched in a while but that's ok because i'm slowly but surely forgetting what it feels like anyway)

I think about this girl every day. I wonder if I should see how she's doing.

I feel kind of sad about her but at the same time for the first time ever I feel like I want to make things so that's pretty good.

Wide as an ocean, deep as a puddle.
I can enter any thread and get the gist of the discussion, but any analysis of thoughts or meaning or anything more than surface level skimming, let alone arguements, is completely beyond me.

Why do so many normie women treat any disagreement with them as a personal attack? Like even if you say something like “Really? I thought X was Y”, not even contradicting them, they’ll flip out. Why turn a perfectly normal conversation into a fight? Is it purely because they’re sheltered and have never been called a retard and told to kill themselves for disagreeing about something?

>>15100175
it's basic narcissism

>>15098647
Look up the social sexual hierarchy, and the series of written posts called "graduating gamma"

>>15100175
>Why do so many normie women treat any disagreement with them as a personal attack

it's part of american girl culture, where women are socialized to never disagree or start any conflict, so if someone else does it with them they take it personally instead of understanding that conflict is normal. sort of like how guys bantering with each other is normal, but most women raised in "girl culture" never do that with eachother, not even as a joke.

you wont have this problem in more non-mainstream circles or outside the US though.

>>15100000
Yes, I am but I don't fucking care. I shouldn't be mean to Francesca or Caitland or Gianisa. They are all nice people.

NOW LISTEN HERE YOU NEOLIBERAL, MARXISTS-IN-NAME-ONLY, CONFORMIST, APPARATCHIK CLASS TRAITORS: NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR POST-RACIAL JANNY TRANNY GENDER NIGGER 30 PAGE CRITIQUE ON HARRY POTTER THAT YOU AND THE TENURED PROPAGANDA SPEWING SWINES CIRCLEJERK TO IN YOUR INDOCTRINATION CENTER DIPLOMA MILLS. HERE'S WHAT THE PEOPLE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT:
THEY CARE ABOUT HAVING JOBS WITH FAIR CONDITIONS AND GOOD PAY
THEY CARE ABOUT THE PRICES OF BASIC COMMODITIES BEING LOW WHILE BEING ABLE TO BUY LUXURIES FROM TIME TO TIME
THEY CARE ABOUT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD A TWO STORY HOUSE WHERE THEY CAN RAISE THEIR KIDS
THEY CARE ABOUT BEING ABLE TO GET GOOD EDUCATION WITHOUT BEING SADDLED WITH LIFELONG DEBT
THEY CARE ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
THEY CARE ABOUT THEIR FOOD AND WATER NOT BEING POISONED
THEY CARE ABOUT HAVING THEIR RIGHTS RESPECTED
THEY CARE ABOUT FINDING MEANING IN LIFE OTHER THAN SOULLESS 9 TO 5 WAGEKEKING SO THEY CAN ENGAGE IN CONSUMERIST ORGYPORGY

NO ONE BUT THE REPTILIAN HEBREW PEDO ELITE CARES ABOUT HOW HIGH THE GDP IS, ABOUT HAVING SHINY NEW DRONES TO BOMB SHEPERDS IN THE ME, ABOUT HOW MANY DRUGS YOU NEED TO MAKE A SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED PERSON WILLING TO BE PRODUCTIVE IN THE RAT RACE AGAIN, ABOUT HOW MANY MORE WAYS YOU CAN SPY ON YOUR OWN CITIZENS THROUGHT THEIR TOILET SEAT, ABOUT ABUNDANCE WHEN ABUNDANCE MEANS HAVING 150 MORE IPHONE CASES PRICED AT 999 USD EACH
SO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR PSEUD ESSAYS ON WHY LETTING YOUR LOCAL DRAG QUEEN BUGGER YOUR KIDS IS PROGRESSIVE AND PRO-LGBTQATTACKHELLICOPTER UP YOUR FUCKING ASS (YOUD LIKE IT ANYWAYS FAGGOTS)

>>15100253

I sat in the sunroom most of the day and listened to birds chirp as I read my books. The weather was nice so I went to the park for a bit, there were enough people there to be suspicious. The days ending and I’m not dissatisfied, I’m just managing. When I find sweet things I wade in them and let my mind become a sponge. My room is getting messy again but if I act now I can interfere with nature. Sometimes there’s a star outside my window which appears threateningly close.

I want to devote myself to the study or something (something empirical, not like poetry or anything) but nothing has particularly grabbed me. Botany and mathematics are two subjects that have interested me, but I haven’t become completely engrossed in them.

death is liberation and no one can change my mind

>>15098511
With the quarantine I've been thinking about my ex a lot. I'm pretty sure she's single, and I don't think she ever quite got over me. However, I just see her fitting in with the long term plan of my life. I've become much more libertarian I've the years. I want nothing more than to buy my own home out in the boonies and get a substantial garden going and raise some chickens and maybe some rabbits. She's a vegan, and while I admire her principles, I need to know that my wife will be strong enough to raise my children. My ex was pretty but not very strong. She refused to work certain jobs like being a cashier or working in a restaurant when she was unemployed. How can I rely on a woman like that? I feel sad because I did love her, and we were compatible in a lot of ways when I was younger and more free, but if bad times are coming I need someone I can rely on by my side. The challenge now is finding a conservative girl who isn't also boring as shit.

>>15099977
Oh my gosh been there. Growing up I always told myself that with the right motivation and effort I could make it to Harvard. Well I had the right motivation, and the right effort, and even some Adderall, and yet I still flunked out of Classical Mechanics.

I'm glad though, I've seen what my peak is and if I hadn't I'd spend the rest of my life wondering.>>15099993

Bored with life. Life is so very boring. Just so so bored and it has nothing to do with the quarantine either. My life is the same as before since I work from home. 31, no kids just a gf and a dog. I make enough money to be comfortable but not enough to travel or do anything cool. I just work all day, in a job that isn't really skilled but I've managed to carve out a niche. I'm mentally exhausted after and can't do much other than workout and game. Pretty sure my circulation is all fucked from sitting all the time even though I'm not obese or overweight at all.

Wish I was smarter, that I didn't waste my life so much. That I got a cool skill and took some risks when I was younger. That I read more and gained knowledge that I could actually share with others instead of being a memebrained retard k. I feel like I've just been drifting and not steering my own course. It's all just momentum, carrying me along.

If I can give advice to younger anons ... Take risks and, break up with chicks at the first sign of crazy. You will likely waste years of your 20s with the won't girl (s)

>>15099482
>ja
asl bb. it's me new anon here to be your bf

>>15098772
Got sunsets on my mind

Getting your ideas out is so hard. It's not that you are lacking in instruments. There are a million different ways to reach people all over the world through the internet. It's more about breaking through into the attentional economy and attracting the draw of it's great Eye of Sauron. A thot shaking their ass on instagram or tiktok will attract millions of clicks in seconds. A studied and innovative theory of the mind has no chance. There are clear enough reasons for this. The lowest common denominator is also the widest range in the distribution, everyone more or less has a lizard brain that responds to a nice ass but less have a such a strong celebratory reaction to theoretical exposition. This is a key fact about internet culture which greatly disappointed its brainy and idealistic pioneers: that most people don't think like them or prefer not to think much at all.

There are many ways to continue to exhaust the reasons behind my lament. One fact is sheer numbers. There's too much of everything. The primary input into computers is the alphabet, so there is by no means any shortage of words on it. The great mass of human thought has been uploaded. Everyone is in an unconscious competition for the flicker of an eyeball toward your piece of content. And the very nature of the internet is to bring everything into one plane: everything is essentially systematized and made inauspicious within the digitized nexus. You don't hold a brilliant post in your hands like a cherished book that brought you joy as a child. Your content is a piece of content among others, differentiated solely by whatever algorithmic recommendation mechanisms or innate human weaknesses it happens to exploit.

How much time do I need to get over an ex?

It's certainly not about developing a fanbase either. If only three people had to read what I have to say I would be elated, if those three happened to be the right people.

>>15101888
checked

the equation is this

((T1- T2)/30) * (

fuck this i'm too lazy. just do something crazy and you'll be over her immediately. find anothe girl and it'll be a little bit longer than that but shorter than doing nothing

>>15101931
>find another girl
I don't think is the right choice, also is not a girl. I guess I just need to embrace the pain.

One time my mom's church went to see the Dead Sea Scrolls and I went along because it's cool to go to a science museum. So, we get there and go through the presentation and that. This guy in my mom's church starts saying how he feels a lot of power coming from the fragments and heavenly energy or something.

Really funny now that tests have found the scrolls to be forgeries. People are so full of shit.

>>15101966
you girl or gay

>>15098511
A few months ago, I started thinking about quitting my job, but it occurred to me that I didn't really want another job, I just wanted to stay home and do nothing. At the time this was a very sad realization since I knew I'd probably never have another "summer vacation" time in my life again to just stay home and be unproductive for weeks. Then, as if answering a prayer, corona happened.

I'm honestly loving it, my job still pays me to "work from home", but I've maybe worked for 5 hours total the past two weeks. It feels amazing not having to go into work every morning. My work group has weekly zoom meetings and I can just tell from the body language of my coworkers that they're all miserable and out of energy, they barely say anything in the meetings. Meanwhile, I'm feeling bright and talkative, which is a complete reversal from how our meetings would go before lockdown started.

Today, one of my coworkers expressed dissatisfaction with the lockdown and basically asked our boss if she could bend the rules to let people start going back into the office. Hearing this filled me with rage. I didn't sperg out, but I did rattle off some stats/data that the "experts" have been saying to dissuade this kind of talk and prep the group for a longer lockdown. I don't think they suspect that I actually don't even remotely care about them getting sick or spreading the virus, I'm just a lazy degenerate who wants to get paid to do nothing.

I'm not ready for it to end. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's over, I don't want to go back to wage slave life. I'd gladly trade not being able to travel or go to restaurants for continuing my paid NEETdom.

>>15102028
guy probably believed he felt something, the placebo effect is a real phenomenon

>>15101888
given that all of the normal shit you'd do to get over an ex is banned due to corona, i'd say you're in for a rough time

If it is true that a nigger detests the word "nigger", then it must be true that we are right to call it a nigger. Truly, one would cast suspicion on the man that detests the word "thief", claiming it to be a term used only by thief-haters who have an "irrational" distaste of thieves. So, referencing the self-denying nigger as a nigger is justified just in the same sense as one is justified in calling a thief a thief.

The nigger claims they detest the word "nigger" because it carries connotations of undesirable traits which they claim are untrue, but as we have already established, they only detest "nigger" because niggers know they are niggers.

Niggers are therefore self-hating, for they subconsciously admit they are niggers and that to be a nigger is to possess nigger traits that they agree are undesirable. As a society, therefore, we all agree (niggers included) that niggers are to be hated. And if a society collectively hate a particular stimulus, that stimulus ought to be removed.

It is therefore in the best best interests of our society, niggers and humans alike, that niggers be expelled from civilization by any means necessary for the alternative is to descend into niggertry.

Anons, how do I forget the past? I've been so much better recently thanks to meditation but I can't help thinking how pathetic the last decade was in comparison. Instead of enjoying the well being I feel now, I'm focusing on regret.

>>15102692
Dare I say based?

Incredible how badly china has fucked the entire world up

I've always tried to not be a reactionary but I don't think I'll ever look at China without extreme prejudice and seething hatred again

How do you come to terms with the fact that you will never be satisfied with what you write?
How do you develop the willpower to be able to view your writing in a way that is both fair and critical?

>>15102692

>>15098511
3rd pint of choccy milk

>>15102905

You may have some personal issues if so much spite is grown at something unintentional. Unless you think China purposely spread the virus or some other conspiracy.

>>15102905
Who gives a shit

>>15101854
23 germany. What now, anon? I've never gotten this far

>>15103166
mmh.. choccy moo moo juice

Im kind of lost in the woods.

What does it mean to think? Ive noticed that i purely rely on intuition for my thoughts and so ive never "manually" thought about something.

Like the question "Why is it admirable to seek knowledge", my intuition isnt giving me anything so ive come to the realization that i need to learn how to think. Is thinking coming up with answers on your own and building on them? Does this also entail testing your own thoughts to know they are good enough?

Also, did anyone else have problems reading philosophy books? I tried my hand at Platos republic which i understood adequately but didnt understand much of Nietzsche when i read him so i gave up on philosophy and thought that i was dumb or something. Is it common to not understand philosophy books in the beginning?

This picture makes perfect sense. If every male in the world looked like me there would be no wars or hatred.

>>15103617
Huh guess those burn victims had it coming, who’d have thought?

Big books literally get me laid.

>>15104256
elaborate

>>15104256
No but seriously, just be confident and yourself and carry big books around

>>15104011
obviously they did. I counter your ludicrously beside-the-point rebuttal with an overly-unsarcastic agreement

>>15104282
Was reading a big history book (without cover, dark green) and 2 slavic cuties approached me, took a picture of me and kind of sat next to me (this was in a random corridor that has some seats on the side) for an hour for me to strike up conversation. (I didn't because I had to read the book, but point stands)

>>15103192
>>15103217
t. chinks

>>15102692
So this is why you don't like being called a faggot.

>>15104330
aint nothing wrong with being a chink, nigger

>>15104312
uhh you literally didn't get laid, aspergo

Why i wasnt blessed with "knowing where i might be good at" thought? All the famous people had even a small sense of direction from the young age and im 27 years old guy without a slightest hint. Am i really asking that much?

>>15104360
I didn't literally "get laid" as in have sex, but I attracted girls.

>>15104386
Read the dialogue Ion. Everyone has divine inspiration but at different intervals. You will find your calling.

>>15102972
This whole "ywn be satisfied" is kind of a meme take. Some things are good enough to be satisfactory. I've written poems a year or two years ago that I still consider among my best work. Even then, I should hope they won't be my best in 10 years. That is the point of art--ever forward. To reiterate past forms, rehash past ideas, is not art, according to Eliot.

>>15104389
>big books literally get me laid
so you're a fuckin liar

>>15104432
Right, sorry, should have paid attention to my phrasing. But the nature of the statement stands, as one could have gotten laid pursuing it.

>>15104356
whatever helps you sleep at night soulless insectoid

>>15104486
touche, son of slave

>>15104394
Thanks, i'll read it. I also tried reading biographies of great men but all i got was depression.

Mr. T, you've got to see this freak. You and your wife would laugh for an hour straight.

>>15098511
>reading Bliss Carman on the train on my way back from work
>train stops at the community college on the way
>beautiful women stare at me and I can no longer focus on reading
>masturbate immediately when I get home

Feels like anything I do is inconsequential and I don't think I'm doing enough to get pussy because I dont say shit I dont mean.

Guys, I put on a fake smile and laugh to be nice but on the inside I fucking loathe them all. Every last member of that family is a god damn loser, there is no other way to put it. I genuinely hope none of you ever have to meet them. They're all clueless too. No, I don't want to watch fucking gilligans island with a transvestite. How fucking retarded do you have to be to think I want that?

>>15104651
Focus on yourself and your hobbies / passions. I wager they feel inconsequential because you are young and cannot yet see the rewards to be reaped by long and assiduous study. Don't do things to get poon. That will come naturally once you develop a personality, as opposed to mere charisma which you probably see in your peers.

trying to find a way to request English speaking room mates without appearing racist

Everyone online is literally retarded. No one knows anything. Truth is illusory. Hermitism is probably the way to go.

>>15104798
Thanks man, the poon made me giggle a bit. Ill remember you anon. Have a good day

I shouldn't even explode like a schizo moron but come the fuck on. I don't actually want harm to anyone either but just go the fuck away. Guys, I swear if those people just left me alone I wouldn't explode in front of you all like this. None of the girls are going to want anything to do with a fucking tranny. Their parents either. What the fuck would Mr. Dougherty say to a hulking transvestite?

Do you set aside a specifically allotted time to write and stop once that time is up, even if you feel like you can keep going? Or do you work intermittently throughout the day without a real schedule?

I have said so much crazy schizo, cruel nonsensical stuff to people but holy fuck. Please just accept an apology and go talk to your own friends. We're not your friends. I am not your friend and the girls are not your friends. Dougherty and Abordo would fucking vomit if they met you. Just leave and talk to your own, actual real friends please.

>>15098511
I'm such a terrible, terrible person. It's hit me all at once. I'm on the verge of tears, I'm such a fucked up wretched cunt.
I get angry over small things and hurt people with words that are like poison, I can never help myself when I get set off. I'm such a fucking horrid excuse of a human being. I can't stop myself, it's almost like I have no control over it. I hurt the people I'm closest to. I'm bitter and resentful. Dissatisfied with my own life so I unconsciously make others miserable too. I would kill myself but that would make them sad because they care about me. I can't do this anymore.
I have too many chips on my shoulder and hate my life. I hate the way I'm a fucking loser not going anywhere, I hate how I fucked up my life and it was my own fault. I shouldn't make other people pay for it. I'm so fucked.

Violence and suicide and insults are wrong. Those are all wrong and pathetic. Insults are bad. Please everyone, just go your own way and talk to your own friends.

I don't want anyone dead or suicided. I just want them to go their own way and mind their own business.

>>15105473
what friends?

>Get told by people on 4chan and discord that its likelier to get published if someone is LGBT, minority race or a woman

>Casually tell the publicist I met that I'm gay (actually true and I'm married to him so had the ring)
>My poetry still got rejected

>>15105789
Haha faggot

>>15105789
is your poetry queer too?

>>15105850
Not really, I dont like queer theories and queer literature

>>15105818
:<

>>15105418
I'm sorry anon. Don't dissolve into self-pity or self-hatred but admit you have things to work on. Try and understand and forgive yourself. Our attitudes are reflective; kindness begins with you. All of us are capable of cruelty and compassion.

>>15105642
I just want that tranny and his fruit boyfriend to leave me the fuck alone. Go away.

>>15105642
I don't want to watch fucking bazinga with an overweight crossdresser. If you think I want that then you have holes in your head.

>>15101966
You are either a girl or a faggot, and in both cases you can fuck off.

I've gotten into Idolmaster again since I needed to do something in-between work breaks. My favorite 765 is probably Haruka or Yayoi, can't choose a CG (most of them are too gimmicky to my liking). I didn't notice it/care about it when I played a few years before, but I've become dissatisfied with how blatant the self-inserting is in deresute, but I am playing an idol game so I have no right to complain. I don't really get idol culture, but some of the songs are pretty damn catchy (Hotel Moonlight, Romantic Now)

Thinking about downloading Grindr to see if there's a cute trap near me................. Don't wanna to be seen by my faggot neighbour though

>>15105418
I want a gf named Erika.

https://youtu.be/WtlF-Nhz94g

>>15105964
How can I forgive myself? I feel like I've created 2 "I"'s inside my head, one that is me, and one that judges my actions hates the other "I" that controls me.

>>15105883
That's why. You don't have to be gay, just write about gay stuff. Or do you really think a gay nazi would get published?

>>15105789
Sometimes you just gotta face the fact that you aren't as good as you thought

>>15099659
Funny idea for a birthday present to you- a CD of "Goodbye Horses."

https://youtu.be/X_DVS_303kQ

>>15107440
This is called schizophrenia.

>>15099659
I am genuinely curious. What do you think Abordo or Officer Dougherty or Laoshi Jinting or Mendicino or the sweet lady Josephine or Rose would think of all this transvestisism? What would be going through their head if they met you? I would not guess positive thoughts.

>>15099688
>This was being pretty funny but this part got me really good. It made my heart feel sadness and love.
"I then told my bf, "just kidding, I want to learn it so I can live with you." and he gave out a hearty laugh, turning me on a little."

>>15103352
if you started with zaratustra you probably didnt understood much. Start with the right book, i dont remmeber wich one but it will let you understand all his philosophy.
Also you haveee to understand Nietzsche because he lays the fundation for all this problem we have since we came to modernuty and, in my opinion, has devasted the life of many people, especially 4channers.

>>15107589
Quite literally the worst thing you can do. You'll never get anywhere without heaps of self delusion and grandeur.

The day is coming to an end and I’m relaxed. The sun lowers its final notes, a mother and child play on the sidewalk. Few cars pass but when they do they aren’t disturbing, I don’t mind their hum. I’m running low on caffeinated tea and I’m slightly nervous but doubt that it’ll kill me. If anything I’ll just have to motivate myself harder in the mornings when I start my routine. At least I have some mint tea left, despite being decaf it’s very nice. The most annoying thing in my world right now is the obnoxious sound of my cat cleaning herself, it’s truly enraging and if she wasn’t so cute I would maul her. The sky is changing colors, it resembles the trees on the sidewalk.

The day is coming to an end and I’m relaxed. The sun lowers its final notes, a mother and child play on the sidewalk. Few cars pass but when they do they aren’t disturbing, I don’t mind the whir. I’m running low on caffeinated tea and kind of nervous but doubt that it’ll kill me. If anything I’ll just have to motivate myself harder in the mornings when I start my routine. At least I have some mint tea left, despite being decaf it’s very nice. The most annoying thing in the world right now is the obnoxious sound of my cat cleaning herself, it’s truly infuriating and if she wasn’t so cute I would maul her. The sky is changing colors, it resembles the aging leaves.

>>15105158
i dont write but ive always wanted to.
Recently I stumbled upon some coincident advice from Murakami and Hemmingway about writing.
Murakami was talking about running and how he always ended his running sessions before tiring up so much, because he said that, in running and in writing, its an stamina thing, so you have to think long term. So when he writes he stops when he is liking it a lot so the next day he is excited for continiung.
Hemmingway said the same. He didnt like depleting his forces too much while he wrote. He also never thought conciously on what he was going to write next or in his writing. He just woke up early, wrote,, and then occupied his mind in other things.
Have a nice day anon.

Hi, /lit/! Greetings from /mu/!

I was just thinking about how crazy it is that people come up with same idea/concept while being on different parts of the world. Music is some godsent shit idk.
For example brass instruments. There is specific way of making sound on those. We have didgeridoo in Australia, alphorn in Germany, lepatata in South Africa, lur in Iceland. These instruments were a part of the cultures for a great time and there is no way these nations interacted with each other 3000 years ago. Even tho all of those instruments use the same unique principal of sound extraction.

>>15108129
Every time I stumble upon a text that has the potential to put me into a depression I do my best to retroactively refute the author's grandmother.

I'm not saying that I reject depressive thoughts, I just handle them differently.

>>15108227
I was on /mu/ today searching for EDM. Found a general called /beep/ which literally had people post music that beeps and some other thread I forgot the name of.

Ended up listening to the new BSOD mix and bookmarking a deadmau5 live set.

>>15108262
>The intellect is a servant of the will.
Who could have thought?

Reminder that you are an ugly piece of trash and I am handsomer and more desired than every male that has ever existed in your worthless family.

Daphne, post your photo again so Sophie and Austin can laugh at it. Come on. It'll be funny.

>>15108302
shizoanon go to sleep

>>15108301
If that's what you're about, I will read you Schopenhauer, but you told me to read Kant first. Everyone tells me to read Kant.

>>15108310
Every last member of that family is a fucking loser. If this was 3,000 years ago there would be a statue of me on the Akropolis and they would have to pray to it and bow before it.

Can someone recommend me some sort of philosophical essays recopilation about a topic?

>>15108319
I was going to read Kant, bought Critique of the pure reason and everything. But in the introduction the fucking madlad says that he didnt give a shit about clarity or writing well, he just went ahead like a mother fucking autist without care for others. Dropped it inmediatly. Fuck that autist negroid

>>15108289
Yeah. Im new to lit but I assume it works by the same principles as mu.
>noooo stop enjoying things
is literally our common motto

>>15108310
Do you think before transitioning that freak looked himself in the mirror dressed in women's underwear like Buffalo Bill?

>Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me

HAHAHAHAHAHA

>>15108319
Just read the Transcendental Aesthetic of CPR. Schopenhauer builds on that. The rest he mostly rejects and modifies.

Everyone is so busy trying to appear like they're thinking that they forget to actually think. I remember in high school everyone treated it like some sort of game. They calculated exactly how many points they needed to bump their grade to an A. They bragged about how they could write exactly what the teacher wanted to hear. Very few of them would actually contemplate what they were learning or waht it meant. No one gave a shit what the books they read for school meant or how they could apply that. They talked about how much they hated Fahrenheit 451. They would say that just pretended to find themes in it. They bragged about this. It never got better after high school. It's the same thing in college.

>>15108319
Daphne hates his entire existence and he thinks this makes him a transsexual but his true pathology is 1,000 X more vicious and savage.

>Thank you, doctah.

>>15108358
thank you, I stopped with the critique on that point,

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!!

I wrote one good poem, but I can't write another one. My poems are just words, they don't sound fresh. I get writer's block trying to describe something so simple. It's frustrating because I want that good feeling again but I'm mediocre

>>15098511
Housewife conspiracy youtube channels are going to become a bit problem for older women. It's literally a slippery slope into paranoia (and it's not even relevant if the conspiracy are true or not - having to deal with a fearful rambling old person is a horrible scenario)

>>15108227
It's not that complicated to make sound on a brass instrument

>>15108353
/bleep/ is how I imagine the whole board is. I didn't like any of the songs they posted. It's mostly audio with a picture of a CD and 300 views.

The funny thing is that I love EDM, but the places that play it in my town are full with hipsters and lesbians.

>>15108404
Well, even neglecting the instruments and their types, just the sheer concept of music itself is fucking epic. People all over the world once were like
>grug make good sound boom boom lalala

>>15098511
i love men so much
i wish i could've been mishima's trap gf / bf and curl up next to his muscles and watch him write books :3

>sex :clap: work :clap: is :clap: work
No. Posting pictures of your tits online for money is not work. Being an actual whore is closer to work but still bad and not to be encouraged. Where the fuck did this “socialist” talking point come from? Lenin would shoot himself if he had to see this shit parroted by self-described leftists desu.
>the lumpen is at it again

>>15108694
Being a whore is honest work.

I'm going to fucking LOSE it. I can't sleep but I still have to "go to work" every day fuck WORK has me reading reams of material on the fuck history of the aluminum industry for a project I know will never serve anyone any use ever ever ever ever ever. I want to die I have had 2 hours of sleep in the past three days. What is this nightmare. I shouldn't complain! But everything I do is pointless it's so meaningless but everybody is so smug they feel they are better than everybody else all they do is pass notes around a word document that nobody is going to read they will just nod their heads - yes very productive very useful I want to DIE.

>>15108935
Work doesn't have to be useful, it just need to be done and be honest.

>>15108694
In what world is producing and selling a product not work? Where do you draw the line, is photography work?

>>15098690
>>15098772
I understand exactly what you mean anon, I used to live on a farm during my childhood. My parents split and I moved into the city. Sometimes I still go out there to my old home just to see the sunsets and the places I once played

>>15098511
I'm moving on to another stage of my life, and it's scary and exciting all at the same time

I read the Gita. There is this part where Krishna reveals his true, infinite nature and all I could think of was Lavos from Chrono Trigger (my translation literally has Krishna describe himself as the "time-devourer") and like, some Lovecraftian primordial being. He talked about having infinite arms and heads and mouths filled with razor sharp teeth, and rivers of people mindlessly marched into the mouths being chewed and crushed and decimated. It got dark really fast.

Also I was quite confused about all the different realities and modes of nature. Brahma, Purusha, Prakirti, Maya, the Gunas... I need to read a version with in depth commentary (I read just a translation)

>>15109237
What honesty is there in being a lap dog?

An artist's eye is a curse. I am as dull and nondescript as the gas station on your street, yet I could sketch out the valleys of your knuckles with charcoal, all from memory, because I see you. Your fluffed up hair, sticking out from too many absent passes with those long, restless fingers. Your knife-sharp cheekbones, equal parts elegant and intimidating. The slash of a scar under your left eye. The nest of veins in your wrist.

I would drop to my knees and press supplications into the flesh there, just beneath your palm, worshipful in a way I've never been. I see the long stretch of your legs, the way the tendons flex in the pale column of your neck. Your Adam's apple, bobbing as you rant, more obvious than the very first temptation. I want to break the Only Rule. I want to take a bite. Here I am, half-starved and delirious, and you have the audacity to recline back as if the air isn't glittering with every painful foot of space between us. Casual and content, infuriating in a primal way. Living with you is living with the drag of rapacious fangs against my carotid artery.

It's filthy, the scenes I conjure up, the drawings, all the metaphors I spin late at night when possessed by too much bourbon. I never had a godly touch; I can't restore your sight, can't lift you up to this level of Purgatory. So I observe. Like an artist. Like a biologist. I'll dissect you with a clinical eye in silent study, the jut of your hips and the swell of your forearms. I'll classify you in the old tongue: et alitum. I'll be the gaze on the back of your skull, raising the fine hairs at your nape.

-A lingering ghost, and you'll let me stay, you will, all because you don't believe in exorcisms.

>>15108051
>It made my heart feel sadness and love.

How'd you know? I was pretty sad when I wrote it.

When I was a boy, I asked my mother if I would go to heaven. She only answered, "God willing."

>>15109343
>I need to read a version with in depth commentary
right here bro

https://estudantedavedanta.net/Sri-Jnandevas-Bhvartha-Dipika-Jnaneswari_smaller.pdf

>>15098511
Don't you feel it in the air? Something is happening.

The reality that we knew is becoming untethered. Money can now be invented out of thin air. What is the value of things?

We will see what things endure in scarcity. What is degenerate and artificially inflated will be washed away, or die starving in the streets. Smile friends, soon only truth will remain.

>>15104802
it didn't work, literally all of them are chinese

>>15098511
>>15109324
I guess the biggest fuck up of childhood is not fucking up enough times.

I didn’t waste it completely but damn I’m a loser. I live a loveless life with minimal achievements now, and my opportunities for friends and love were riddled with cringe and incest complexes.

Imagine dating some exuberant 16 year old white girl and having sex for the first time in someone’s upstairs bedroom of a HS house party after prom, making grand promises to each other with wide earnest eyes.

Imagine easily getting rock hard because you were raised to be extroverted because your parents were extroverted, because you have friends you can channel your love to, and you as a result didn’t have to cope with loneliness by castrating your mind with porn.

Imagine not even needing to go to college—because you’re confident enough to simply fall into a managerial position, because people listen to you, because you weren’t raised to fear their judgment, because your parents never tried to possess your rebelliousness.

Imagine settling down with your high school crush in an idyllic bliss, with no need to understand your mind via philosophy/psychology—simple heuristics will do, because you made the right assumptions about reality as a teenager. Imagine becoming a parent who teaches their children by the same passion, handing down a love that requires little analysis.

Is that an irresponsibility for the conservation of the world? The absolute state of domesticated bliss, free from societal planning? Trusting, generous, in control of your life, safe. I suppose the value of that exists in a modernist context, which lends suspicion as to it’s sustainability. Your ego had never learned the idea of difference, so would you be unyielding to changing the life you naturally adopted?

Maybe you would. In a state of crisis, these are the pillars of psychological security and community. Your state of mind in contact with your inner child—something everyone benefits from being near.

Or, in a state of peace, you may become put on the defense by the different, who now have the room to speak for themselves. And as you recline in your comfy workplace they may petition you, and you may do naught more than shrug your shoulders and wipe your brow as they throw their lives down for an idea in the name of saving their own life purpose from hell.

Yeah I’m kinda salty.

>>15109524
dam thansk bro

You called me a romantic when I told you about enlisting for the military, and I guess I am. You see, I want to join the league of my heroes - the great artists, scientists, thinkers, and revolutionaries. The men I admire have all crossed this bridge, and I picture them doing what I am doing, their spirits with me, their stories and sacrifice giving me the strength to move forward. Every day I become more like them; getting stronger in mind and in spirit, in body, in character.

Some day I will be worthy to join the ranks of the ones who made me the man I am today, and when I am there, I want you to stand by my side to share in the warmth of that brighter world. My friend, who was always there for me even when I was a nobody, my friend who believed in me.

When I was 17 years old and I saw a thread of ''share your goodreads'', I clicked into a guy (I don't really remember his name) but he had a profile picture and I just got a crush on him, that I used to visit his profile everyday. Never talked to him.

>>15109927
Oh yeah, that was me. What's up?

How do I break the news to my autistic brother that it’s over for people like us that he shouldn’t waste time pursuing a normie’s happiness? It hurts to watch him struggle.

This sounds really mean I know but i cannot imagine him making it as a normie, he is even more autistic than I am and I have no romantic experience, almost no friends, etc.

It is good to Praise The Lord and make Music to your name oh God most high to declare your Love and Faithfulness all day and through the Night.

Oh lord though this world is ever changing, though I may change, you are ever the same, you are ever with me, you always walk with me. I do not fear the stare of death for my heart is your throne of Christ, for in single pointed contemplation do I stare at you, you and your mind are always my contemplation, you who fill my heart with song, you who are exceedingly great, the most great, the Sublime, the magnificent, the Glorious. Lord purify my heart, refine my soul, cover my spirit with your Blood, I desire to know your unsearchable things. I invoke you, spirit of the Fear of the Lord, Spirit of knowledge, of Might, of counsel, of understanding, of Wisdom, yes even the spirit of the Lord, I invoke you Seven spirits of God, I invoke you the sole spirit of God. Grant me Eyes that I may see you and grant me horns that I may have strength to do as you will. Yes lord grant me eyes and grant me horns, and if it pleases you lord, grant me seven eyes and seven horns, for how can A man enfold the heavens into his bosom? How can he grasp nature? But I know one day I shall be taken into the clouds and changed forever, and then I shall partake of your continuous Gnosis forever and forever. Amen.

>>15110378
Don't

>>15109927
That was me. Hi

https://streamable.com/6zd6fc

I dont know what to read next

>>15110460
bro

about how i'm a cynical piece of shit, how i'll never have love in my life because of my insecurities
how i'm not smart at all
how i'm pretty much autistic
how my brain is fried
how i'm a loser
how I hate my family
how life sucks man

Everyone should read or reread Camus' The Pague during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Everyone should read or reread Camus' The Plague during the COVID-19 pandemic.

>>15098511
I just want to express myself clearly. I want people to hear what I mean in what I say.

>>15109918
lol the military is just kindergarten with more cleaning

I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted one time to see you laughing
I only want to see you laughing in the purple rain
Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain

How many active lit users are there? I feel like it's about 50 of us

>>15110863
idk /lit/ is slow but its not as slow as some other boards, i'm always surprised by how quick some things disappear here, so its probably in the triple digs

steamm of consusness
My life goes no the circles of being in a rut to improvement to being in a stale rut again. At this point I don't even know why i'm alive anymore. I have no goals to so to speak. I cant go any further, for that which I would do I can not for the world is not such for I to do it. The world wills me to bend me to is own form yet I am no liquid but of steel. I would rather die or suffer then conform to the wills of capitalism and its demands that i submit to worthless labor an toil all my days. Only for what, a small trinket, a token of material pseudo wealth. Nay. Yet what then? What am I to become? I do not truly wish for death, yet there is little that gives me joy. Am I to become a mad man, one the common folk wispier of for a day or two of my actions of gore and hate? Shall I be a monk and sit under a stale tree year in and out until my skin cracks and sags lose on my face? What is the matter, why is it I can find no light in my life? Once it was that a black flame burned within but no not even such hate for the world lives in me now. I am but a shell of a being. What is it that I truly wish to have? I consul my self by screening in to the void of the faceless, the nameless, only in hope they can tell me what is the matter of my life and what I shall do now that I have all I ever wanted.

>>15110913
stream of consciousness*

There is honestly nothing worse than insomnia. People who don't have it don't get it. I've had people suggest I use the time I can't sleep to get other things done, but that's not it because I am still tired as fuck, I'm still exhausted, I just can't fall asleep. You lay in bed, waiting and waiting, hoping you'll fall asleep, and after a while you realise you can't sleep, you start to think, I could get up and do something... maybe that would help me sleep, but you don't want to get up, because you think, maybe if I just lay here five more minutes I will finally fall asleep... the desire to fall asleep, especially when you have work in the morning, is insane, you don't want to jeopardise it for the tiniest thing, it sends you crazy! It makes me want to cut myself open and let the blood pour out, it makes me want to shoot my head off just so I might get a moment of sleep!

I became a Catholic precisely because I am a bitter and vicious asshole. It was the religion where everyone got to be miserable, not just gay people. Nope, no abortion or birth control. Nope, can't even pull out. Nope, no swinging, friends with benefits, BDSM, fucking your hot secretary, not even masturbation, nothing. When I was growing up Protestant, it got my nerves how people said gay people can't marry "because they can't have kids" but then they go on to have birth control (and even abortion) in their own marriages (more like transactional arrangements). My own family was viciously homophobic, it's the main part of why they shamed me publically and I don't talk to them anymore. Yet, they were supportive of birth control and even abortion - but only for married people, because unmarried people should be "punished" with pregnancy. Even better is when fundies try to justify BDSM with the "wives submitting to husband" thing, meanwhile saying being gay hurt your dignity. Being gay isn't inherently violent, unlike BDSM. Violence and degradation is the whole point of why people find BDSM appealing, there's no reason why a person who is mentally healthy would like that. You think I am kink shaming? Fight me.

Regarding all the nasty nonkosher shit that straight Protestant people do, think about this: even the pastor, who also just happens to be one of the wealthiest dudes in town, gets to snag the hot choir lady or pianist at church. Meanwhile he tells gays that something is wrong with us and suggests celibacy in a community where celibacy is seen as a failure or a punishment. At least in Catholicism, even the priests can't get laid so it's not like a priest can just brush off a gay dude being like "lol don't sex around" while he himself proceeds to bang his trophy wife. See, it's fair. At least you're not alone in your dry misery, the priest gets to suffer too.

Also, Catholics are honest about being assholes. You know that there were only male Dalai Lamas, even though on paper they "could be" female? They're full of shit. There's more chance of a woman becoming the president of Saudi Arabia than becoming a Dalai Lama. You think I am being intolerant? Fuck you, tell me how I am wrong. At least Catholics admit that only men can be their priests. It's the only religion that doesn't get on my nerves with fluff and bullshit.

I wish I had friends like Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ. She's smart and everyone in my life is a fucking retard. I bet shes cute also. Anyone else have only /lit/ as an outlet to have anything resembling an intelligence interaction?

>>15110959
I met some interesting and educated people in rehab, but in my personal social circles I don't have anyone to engage with in more intellectual discourse.

>>15110949
I agree that protestants are some of the worst people any way your slice it. Especially on there cultural influence over time.

>>15110973
is it a coincidence that smart people are needing rehab?

>>15110411
Amen!

>>15110378
>How do I preemptively sabotage my brother before he learns social skills and leaves me alone in my comfort zone?

>>15098511
We're coming to the end of the End of History. This 75 years of peace will be remembered as a Golden Age for centuries to come. Our children will live much harder lives than us. Lets let what is dying die, so that what is new can take its place

>>15110976
I woudn't say I'm smart, I'm an alcoholic who happens to enjoy reading books, I don't count myself to be one of those 'interesting and educated peope'. I just enjoy their company because I admire them.

>>15111025
Well anyone that's willing and able to have a conversation deeper than the sufferance level zeitgeist I good for me.

>>15104386
Yes, you're asking too much.

>>15108182
I just saw this. Thank you.

I have realized I have no true hobbies.

>>15111666
Atleast you have double triples, turbosatan

>>15098900
nice

>>15099162
Write her, if you still have a contact

Not getting enough alone time is a detriment to my mental health, it completely blurs my sense of self awareness and hinders my short term memory as I dont get the alone time necessary to properly unpack my thoughts. The recurring theme of crises in my life has been preceded by a period of over socialisation and neglect towards the needs of my inner self.

>>15098511
I don't feel love, only lust. I'm fucked up and a degenerate and this is the signle biggest cause of stress in my life I don't know how I could ever have a healthy sex life I fucking hate that I am like this FUCK

Another love letter, heart pounding, in the moments before giving in to sleep.

A foul and depraved beast who loves you still, after more than six years. A scrambling monster on the rocks below who pines in your memory. "Not goodbye, see you later," lying like clockwork. In the few sizzling moments that come now between long days of forgetting, I remember you, and now I have already forgotten. I am perverted art, created effortlessly and sold for profit. I

n my every waking moment, those two or three waking moments which I fail to suppress per day, I feel the malevolent force working through me, the greyness that has subsumed me. If I were to love you, I would corrupt you, I would drag you to my level. I love you because the devil wants to spread his greyness from me to you. But how can this love not be pure? How can it not be ancient, and just, and kind? I'm dreaming of you still. You're still in my dreams.

It was your back turned to me, walking away, after I said "see you later". That was what I forgot that I always remember.

The window allows a tender slice of sun to reach my bedroom. It settles on scattered books and looks at me with fuzzy eyes. I have no words for the sun of course, and I won’t share my writing with it either. So many have written with the gems of life at their fingertips, I’d rather just observe this morning.

Studying a Humanites based subject at Uni and its reigniting my old view that things are really pointless. It seems no matter what I do, it isnt good enough. I worked hard to get into a course and its just seems a waste of time when thinking of the future. The only true thing I'm good at is writing but I feel it's all just going to waste. I have an essay due next month and I just cannot be bothered with it. What is the fucking point

>>15112509
>things are really pointless.
in what way?

>>15110959
I feel she would insufferable in real life. Like she is the type who would just start ranting about Max Stirner and patriarchy when it's clear you don't care.

>>15099688
r u boy or girl

>>15104348
Call me a faggot all you want, my friend. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

>>15104802
Think of something that might bother non-English speaking roommates. What that is depends on country. Then say that you're looking for a roommate who isn't bothered by you doing that thing frequently.

My dad and sister laugh at your stuoid family with me. It's polite to be nice to people's face but if you can't tell we think you're losers on the inside, you may genuinely be retarded. I don't want to watch fucking sitcoms bazinga shit with a lardass and a tranny fucker and his Jerry Brudos over there. If you think I do, you are a moron. The same with any of the people here too. Dougherty would noy even want to be in the same room as you.

I wish I knew how to stop hating myself.

>>15113278
The cluelessness of it all is what gets me. I clearly dislike them. Harassing me on the internet does not make me not dislike you. What is even the though process there? Just go away.

Seeing Holocaust denial on this site sometimes genuinely makes me angry. I know it's almost always some retarded high schooler that just got "redpilled" by watching "The Greatest Story Never Told" and suddenly thinks he's above the sheeple and now is all about "le deus vult muh white evropa da joos are big meanies," but fuck, millions of people fucking died. Brutalized and robbed of life and everything they could have done, just because some retarded manlet decided to organize a massive chimpout. It's like if you go to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and start doing Fortnite dances saying no soldier ever died in war. I want to slap them across their retarded faces and peel off their fingernails one by one until they're begging for death, which I will deny just as assuredly as they deny the worst tragedy ever perpetuated in human history.

>>15113278
I told him that 99% of people think tranies are weirdos and he didn't believe me. If Dougherty and her friends saw him they would fucking laugh. And putting your picture and information on the internet is always a dumb idea unless you're extremely attractive. Fuck, that's something 5 yr olds understand.

>>15113342
And what if you were wrong and the entire thing was made up or massively exaggerated? How sure are you that conventional sources of information are trustworthy? Not to mention the striking lack of open discourse on this particular subject.

Your fantasies of torture are also just bizarre.

How can I cope with the fact that I'm not a child prodigy or a genius? I'm serious. Everyone who ever achieved anything of note was one of the two, and many times both. What is the point of staying alive if I am and will always be so incredibly inferior? Why not just kill myself? I don't believe in an afterlife. The only hope for life after death is to do something to he remembered for, why stay alive if I will never achieve anything or be remembered by anyone and every single day is a boring slog, both mentally painful and physically painful due to a chronic disease?

>>15113391
>And what if you were wrong
Yeah, and what if the Earth is actually flat? What if we all live on the back of a giant turtle? You can ask nonsensical 'what if' questions all day, it doesn't make them any less retarded. I'd like to kick you right in the balls with a steel toed boot.

>>15113408
Life doesn't need to have a goal.

I found the porn I have been searching for for a few days. Just got my external hard drive and did an image search of what I had saved from it awhile ago. It wasn't very much like I remembered it and I didn't even end up jerking off to it. It was actually pretty disappointing.

Porn is such a waste. I tried no-fap for a week once. Didn't change anything except I just didn't jerk. Thinking about trying again since it's a lot of work for little reward. A release of dopamine and a good wiener feeling isn't really worth 45 minutes or an hour and a half of dick pumping. Kind of a waste of time.

>>15113436
You must be very naive if you think the official account of a historical event mired in propaganda and extremely sensitive cultural issues is comparable to the earth being flat or spherical.

Take a look at what Chinese and Japanese people know about the past century of their countries and what sort of things happened there.

My gaze always falls on the window, even after I draw the blinds. My desire is to be outside, among others. Seeing others, who live lives I could never understand, I ask them who they are, only to expect a lie. The lie of a cover, some defense, how could someone survive so long without putting up a wall around themselves? My wall is not erect before those strangers, I trust strangers more than I trust my friends. Can that be so? I cant help but consider the contrarian's words, is that just my doubt? I ask these questions never expecting anything more than the obvious answers, but I ask away in the hopes a stranger will surprise me. There's always a chance, nothing is set. But as I sit here, in this office, gazing at the screen, I can feel the pull of the window. I hope I'll meet a new friend today.

If I had to meet them like once a decade I would not even mind but fuck, get a clue. I'm not your friend.

I do appreciate them taking care of my gran but she is gone. I really appreciate that. But it is time to go separate ways now.

I don't see anything wrong with suicide and don't think it's necessarily a tragedy when someone commits suicide.

I enjoy living and I enjoy life, but I strongly suspect that when I go out, it will be by suicide. Not for despair, sadness or hatred of life, but simply because when I kill myself, it will be because I am ready to go.

I believe that as a society we should stop stigmitizing suicide so much, it's not necessarily a tragedy, we all have to die eventually, why not go on your own terms?

I don't want to get a job. I don't want to work for money. I just want to be an indolent, lazy aristocrat who subsists on passive land income. But that's not possible, so suicide is very appealing.

>>15113482
There's a difference between 'questioning the narrative' and straight up denial and blatant ignoring of mountains of evidence.

>>15113455
Yes it does. Without a goal life is just meaningless meandering. What is life without a goal? Experiencing brief islands of pleasure between oceans of suffering? As soon as you die, you forget everything and it's as if you never existed at all. Everything you ever experienced was for nothing. Without a goal, why not just kill yourself so you die sooner rather than later?

I am genuinely sorry you had to find out this way but yes, I dislike you. I was such an evil schizo wackjob to you and that is wrong and evil but please, just leave me alone. Just look at the girls and then at your family. It's not a difficult question what I would prefer to do.

>>15113780

>>15098511
I just watched a sermon where some pentecostal preacher accosted Kirkegaard's Fear and Trembling, when it was obvious that he has clearly never read it.

I'm fuming.

We’re in the 2020’s now, 3D is officially out and 2D is in. Sorry girls!

>>15113917
I feel bad for Opie now. He's an autist who doesn't realize how awful he was being for years or how much he was embarrassing himself and nobody told him because they were all passive aggressive fags about it. Anthony handles all conflict by cheating on the person and spiting them behind their back, he did it with his ex-wife and he did it with Opie. Jim is an absolute treacherous worm with no morals one way or the other.

>>15113967
what are you implying

>>15113973
If that guy's friends had even a sliver of respect for him they would tell him to cut out the cross dressing. Look at yourself in a fucking mirror. You can't walk in front of Cait or Gina like that. They would fucking vomit if they saw that. They really would. He is embarrassing himself every fucking day and is too clueless to realize it.

Frau Vege and Rose may be a bit heavy but holy fuck, they are like fucking Claudia Cardinale and Brigitte Bardot next to you. Holy shit.

>>15113761
Congrats you have discovered nihilism enjoy your stay

And dude, it's everyone, not just you. Crossdressing looks weird on everyone. If I put on a dress and women's clothing and went outside right now, I would look like a retard. I would get insults and laughs just the same as you. It's everyone, dude. You have to know what society expects and thinks.

>>15114340
I bet you'd look cute in a dress.

>>15114416
I'm sorry if he has mental dysphoria or whatever but does he have also zero self awareness? You're going to get stares and laughs looking like that. That is common sense or should be at least.

It's the lowest form of humor to have men dressed as women because it's just so bizarre. That's why Monty Python did it every episode. The mental image is just odd and buzarre by itself.

fuck niggers

My thinking and attention abilities are diminishing over the past months/ years, what the fuck is going on, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>15111666
Checked

>>15100000
Don't care about anything else in this thread, just stopped by to say well done since no one else appreciated the digits

>>15101544
You should consider trying to have a relationship with a non-coservative girl which fits most of your other needs and sway her to your point of view. Even if it doesn't work completely you might get to enrich your own view, or reach a common point which is the synthesis of your two starting points. I assume you are quite young, and I think finding a conservative girl in your age range that isn't dull is close to impossible.

I really need to poo but I already started typing this. I'm going to just select an image quickly and head upstairs for my poo.

If you people just left me the fuck alone I wouldn't have to release my anger here. I don't want to watch fucking Bazinga man with fucking Jerry Brudos. Go the fucm away.

>>15110992
Whatever man, he’s not going to “learn social skills”, he has fucking autism. And we’re not particularly close in the first place, I’d be glad if he could magically become a normie and live a normal life, but it’s not happening. But I suppose I’ll take your advice and just pat him on the back and assure him he’ll surely get it eventually the next time he comes home crying because the normies he was trying to befriend started bullying him instead.

>>15111666
checked

I keep getting mild panic attacks that I'm wasting my life playing viddies and jacking off but anytime I try to stop I essentially realize that I actually prefer doing hedonistic shit or maybe i'm so addicted to them that it has such a control over my brain i actually believe I want to do them. It's like there's two of me. One wants to throw aside wasting my life and just focus on lifting weights and reading books and a simple ass life (nothing grandiose or fantastical) and the other part, the one in teh day to day moment, just sees short term pleasure as the only option. Like I'm trapped in a mind that belongs to an animal. I think the only thing that can help me now is some super introspective moment of clarity but I can't seem to have one and my life is wasting away a second at a time. I've tried every self improvement tip and trick and now I know for sure all that shit is just some stupid meme cuz none of it works and if it does for a week my brain will sabotage me and we go back to hedonistic pleasure. Some people will tell me moderation but I seem to be unable to do that for more than a few days.

>>15115230
yes, they have fucked up your brain.

>>15115230
honestly if you can't keep discipline, you will always believe you are a failure and be sad and wawawa all the time. Keep some good habits for 21 days straight. That means dropping off all the things that made your brain fucked up. I have been there.

>>15106741
Miura you fucking madlad finish that shit

>>15115292
they? dont say jews
>>15115322
i know i need discipline but everytime I try I end up questioning why I did it in teh first place. Like I stop watching porn and then I say "why did i even stop it's fine to just watch in moderation" and then I jack off 5 times a day again. I think the issue is im not even convinced fully that I want what I think I want and my will changes with the weather. I remember reading Evola's Intro to Magic and he mentions how you need a "unshakeable will" in order to see the results of magic and I realized until I can become confident in what I want I won't get anything in life, so now the issue is how to know what I want and actually stay true to it. The self destructive behavior seems to be a result of indecision

>>15115390
what's your foundation?

>>15115400
i dont think i have one... and i dont know how to get one

>>15115412
Plato's compatibility of ideas.

Get one theory about a topic concerning your personal life. Could be about work, relationships, your environment or really anything. Begin adding things that are compatible.

There are ideas you can't discover or that don't make any sense until you chain them together with other ideas.

Do that until pluralism or whatever. Later you'll end up aiming at reading literature that might be helpful.

For me progress is not discovering something new that turns your life upside down, it's discovering something new that fits into your existing structure.

>>15115230

take hedonism to it's logical conclusion, madness and see what's on the other side

>>15113948
Was it Jordan Peterson?

>>15113973
I think Opie is probably fine in general, he has a family and enough money to last. What's hilarious is that his disintegration and decline was somehow probably the least embarrassing of the three. Jim and Sam makes insane amounts of money but jesus christ that show fucking sucks slurps cum, and Anthony's life of xanax and budlight doing a shitty show that nobody watches is pretty humiliating. Opie just sort of faded away with some level of dignity

>>15115045

Hey Ken, tell Mr. Talasky about your sex life. Come on. I'm sure he wants to hear about how well you faired with the ladies. Give us some good stories.

>>15115230
What is the point of lifting, reading, and living simply?

I undoubtedly believe at this point that when I die it will be via suicide. Not today, probably not tomorrow, but one day I will finally take the initiative to end my pathetic life.

Guys, I can probably make this tranny fucker kill himself. He's probably crying right now. lol

I'm struggling to understand this.

>if a sea-battle will not be fought tomorrow, then it was also true yesterday that it will not be fought. But all past truths are necessary truths. Therefore, it is not possible that the battle will be fought

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_future_contingents

I don't see a problem or contradiction at all...

>>15115713
anytime i actually do those things I feel less depressed and brainfog retard mode but my brain seems to prefer porn and killing myself with unhealthy food much more

>>15115723
what makes your life pathetic?

>>15115946
But see, lifting and reading are also hedonist pursuits. Hedonism doesn't just mean uncontrolled drug binges and chronic masturbation

>>15116116
well maybe i should have used the term "self destructive" since I feel like I am dying spiritually and physically with drugs and porn whereas lifting and reading feel like I'm bettering myself

>>15116094
I'm weak, lazy, dumb, unmotivated, selfish, unattractive, ill. I'm a 21 year old community college dropout who still lives with his mother and does nothing but browse the internet/play video games for 16 hours a day.

>>15116172
But you do realize that the feeling of improvement is as illusory and transitory as the feeling of destruction, yes?

>>15116193
why don't you change those things?

>>15100000
I appreciate the digits. Have a great day, anon
Tangentially: fuck the janny who banned me on /x/, and fuck niggers

>>15100000
Waste of digits

>>15116193
Don't you still have the chance to re-enter community college? Many dropouts re-join later when they are better prepared and want to give things a second chance. You should consider it. What are you ill with - is it chronic? Physical or mental?

>>15116299
why did you get banned there?

How the hell do I gt over my obsession with a chan girl I only messaged once before she realized I'm from this website and blocked me

that was literally 2 years ago and I still think about her. I digitally stalk her and collect pictures of her, her posts, tweets, what music she listens to, what movies she likes. I feel like a fucking creep.

If you guys want you can drive over and meet the girls. I promise you will hear shit 30X worse from Madchen than you ever will from me. I have heard it myself. See for yourself if you doubt it. Or Cait. What do you think Cait's reaction would be?

You all don't realize how great you had it. Most people wouldn't put up with your stupid bullshit. Madchen certainly wouldn't have. She would not even feign caring about your feelings.

>>15117859
Gotta go cold turkey dude

I am a Saint.

The Database-Property theory .

Imagine a perfectly discrete singular abstract property/relational entity which has no other aspect but its own self relation, it itself exists and its relation to itself also exists, this self relation, this characteristic of characteristic produces a doubling effect, in which are formed structures within/upon the body of this pure structure, all of the same essential nature but different in relations to each other. The characteristic relates to itself, creating the first, then this relation relates to the pure characteristic and to itself, and so forth endlessly and continuously, this endlessly produces a series of seemingly discrete points which are fully nondual in essence/substance, the only substantial difference being how they relate to each other. This mutual relation to each other produces the base mathematical and logical sequences by which all is defined, the Characteristic Heat is simply a bundle of less complex relational property complexes which fundamentally all are simply the self relation in its own self-production.

From this is formed consequences, causal relations, numbers, phases, beginnings, ends. From this beginning absolute simplicity (essence) which relates to itself (by saying what it is and what it is not, dialectically advancing itself by producing being and non-being) it affirms itself by becoming the process of becoming, thus the properties automatically arise in relation to each other, the process of creation/Time starts. Objects, subject, time, space, perception, everything, nothing, other and unspeakable amounts of infinite other “things” can all be defined by this definition as properties and all originate from characteristic. Conceive a Database, its only item is itself existing as a database, this itself produces a page, this page then must have data within it which speaks to what it is and is not. Thus this is formulated and reformulated, producing a simulacra, for the Data of the page now expands what is the definition of the database, which causes you to update the page, and thus more data must be added, along with a page speaking of that very Page; and these produce further copies of each other which are true simulacra which reflect their own self relations while fundamentally all being points of The database. This continues endlessly, ever expanding and maximizing in complexity.

Those people would all hate your guts. You can come over and hold them at gunpoint but they would still think you're a fucking freak.

>>15098511
So my gf is always on twitter and a bunch of boys are always like "lol hot" and she replies with "thanks <333333". I confronted her about it and she got defensive. I get that It's just a less than sign and a couple threes, but it's like she's accepting and inviting attention from other guys. She said she'd never cheat on me, and doesn't consider this cheating, and I don't consider it cheating per se either, because we do stuff that just comments on twitter can't do. I also just get the feeling in my gut that she's telling the truth and not thinking about this stuff in any special way, that she truly wouldn't cheat on me and that it's just differing perspectives on interactions on social media.

Madoka is seriously more literary than any book written in the last half century. It’s a work of genius.

>>15115230
It sounds like you need some bigger, overarching goal to strive towards. Self-improvement for its own sake can be hard to maintain, and for some people impossible. But self-improvement as a means towards some higher goal can make it easier to maintain discipline. For example: working to gain entrance to the military, or gain a degree, or complete a big project. Maybe you've heard this before, but do you have such a goal?

>>15118126
JUST

>>15118497
Bro it's not that bad is it?

>>15118126
Not him but if it makes you uncomfortable at all, tell her to stop responding to them. It's normal for a girl to seek attention and validation wherever they can find it but if she cares about you and respects you as a man/bf she'll listen. There's nothing insecure or unreasonable by finding that behavior to be kind of a red flag.

>>15118548
By "him" I meant the anon who replied "JUST," I meant to reply to your other post: >>15118509

>>15118548
Thanks buddy. I always second guess myself because I know I am so insecure. I know that I feel extremely uncomfortable with what she does because it really does feel that I'm not fulfilling her needs.

>>15118548
>>15118569
the real way to play this isn't telling her to stop, cause as soon as you tell her she has to do something she'll get pissed. What you do is tell her that she can continue to act that way if she wants, but you are not comfortable with it. That way you are giving her a choice, rather than a directive. And, if she continues to do so--knowing that you are not comfortable with it--then you dump her ass

that will be $15.99

>>15118126
you're so cute.
She won't cheat on you, but it seems quite weird that she does that. When I upload a picture and some guy replies I don't pay attention to it but is because my bf told me about his insecurities and so on. You just have to tell her how you feel and after if she is still doing it, I don't know...

>>15118415
It's really not

You still don't want to post your beautiful picture for all the lovely women to see??? Why don't you guess what they would say?

>>15118023

>>15118634
Und das heimat kleines blumelein
Und das heist- Erika (boom boom boom)

Or ehat about Molly? You guys know about Molly? She wants to sleep with me, I bet. I don't even know of she still works with me.

>>15118634
Guys, I'm so sorry for venting but I just hate that entire fucking family and they act as if we are friends.

>>15118652
I really hope this stuff is a joke. If it's not, may you find peace

>>15118669
What? The stuff about Molly wanting to sleep with me or the stuff about me wanting the tranny to fuck off? Both are legitimate concerns.

>>15118676

>>15118669
You think I am crazy. Daphne is real, I fucking swear. Daphne and Ken are real people. Real fucked up people.

>>15118679
Just this entire monologue you're convinced the whole board is aware of and in on

>>15118669
Daphne's birth name is probably Donald or something. He's probably listed on government records as Donald Little or something.

>>15118590
Thanks. I guess I'm spending my stimulus money on /adv/.

>>15118601
Thank you too.

>>15118691
99% of you aren't in on it but some actually are. Either way, this stuff is mostly me just venting right now.

>>15118691
If you don't know who any of these people are I do not blame you for being confused. You're probably like "wtf ranting about discord trannies" or something

>>15118713
alright, thanks for clarifying. Sorry to hear there's some shitty stuff going on

Medieval (vague, I know) England ate like shit compared to Italy. Holy fuck.