/lit/ - Literature

>>15020577
OIM ONLY WOT YER MAYDE ME OONCLE

YOU FIDDLED MY WIDDLE WHEN OI WOZ ONLY FAW, ITS YAAW FAWLT I READ BIG NONCEY BOOKS! ITS YAAW FAWLT ITS THE ONLY FING THAT KEEPS ME SAYNE! FACK YOU OONCLE YEW CAANT!

>>15020614
keep walkin fella

You want some dick? You want a sniff of my dick, bruv? Ah? Huh huh??? What?

>>15020577
Based Hareton.

>>15020577
we say "clip round the ear" where I'm from

>>15020614
more australian than bri'ish

>>15020577
DAD I SWEAH LO'LI'AH IS ACTUALLY LIKE, I DUNNO, ART N ALL THAT.

>>15020577
Why does every 50 year old northern man look like this

>>15020614
boised an rawdpilled

>>15021002
I am actually british. Unfortunately I'm also southern metropolitan scum, so my attempts at northern dialect are inevitably erroneous. I do apologise.

>>15021023
chups n' greeveh

>>15021055

ah, a shandy drinker

can any of you brit bong's give me a cool sounding british nickname? like something authentic sounding

>>15021103
cunt

>>15021103
munty

>>15021103
archie

>>15021103
Gov'na

>>15021103
Bazza

>>15021103
rumpits

>>15021023
poor diet
poor genetics
poor economically
poor culturally

>>15021284
OI BAZ I FINK WE GOT ARSELVES ONE OV THOSE DIRTY O'L BINTS THAT LUVS SHAGGIN THEM BOOKS BAZ TELL THE MISUS ILL BE A JIFF AND AV A STELLA WAITIN AT HOME IMMA KICK HIS FOOKIN HEAD IN

>>15021103

need your name first lad

>>15020577
>>15020614
>>15021418
>even if we remove the south asians from our country, half of it will be populated by these creatures
I guess they’re better than the alternative of cultural and genetic replacement.
Books for the feel of being a southerner coming to terms with norf, particularly if it’s with family members from the norf

>>15021103
Best one would be "Utter Bell End".

Not just "Bell End" though. That's a diss. You need the "utter" at the start.

Sort of like the difference between saying something is "shit" vs "the shit" in the USA.

>>15020577
A fate worse than death.

>>15021688
the norf is a surprisingly /lit/ place. Johnny from Naked is not a particularly absurd character.

>>15021688
We need a eugenics program. I don’t know why everyone suddenly gave up on it after WW2

>>15021418
someone please lead stevie here back into the basement calmly but firmly before he starts rattling off ww2 fighter models

>>15020577
I'm from the UK, my elderly dad (who can't read or write- not dyslexic, he just always refused to learn since he was a kid) genuinely believes education is evil and books are one of the most detrimental things ever to happen to society lol

I can understand having misgivings about elements of the specific education system and curriculum of one's time but he hates the whole concept

>>15021103
Gibbo (with a 'guh' not 'juh')

>>15021023
The majority of Northerners are poorfag inbreds.
Also this is worth reading:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North%E2%80%93South_divide_(England)

>>15024585
based everything north of Birmingham is degenerate

>>15021284
simple 'as

>>15024535
Unbelievably based, literally, so based I don't believe you. look around the world and this board and say your dad is wrong, I dare you.

>>15024684
Birmingham is far more degenerate than the norf but it's for different reasons

>>15021688
Ted Hughes is certified based and he's from the north

>>15021103
Conner McCarthy

>>15024890
Former Birmingham now Sheffield. The people here are more poor and hard to understand but less degenerate and more friendly, and of course less pakis is a win.

oi what's a dis wuvvring oights lad

no time for dis ahrtsy fahrtsy crap lad I were down pits at your age

>>15021103
Jezza

>>15025143
I could read tha'. Gizza buck, go'ed.

the english boomer is a very special kind of boomer

>>15025512
piss off keith yer cannae even fookin read u spacker

>>15020805
negro in the back

>>15020805
cringy zoomers

>>15026080
I bet he's a basketballperson from that London.

>>15024698
He also doesn't believe in medicine, to such a point that when his appendix burst some years ago he refused to go to the hospital for 3 days until he was so weak my mum physically forced him into the car and it turned out his abdomen was full of gangrenous fluid, was in hospital for weeks

>>15026405
It's a shame your dad can't write, because I would read his book.

>>15026536
He's a wife-beating scumbag, but I won't lie I wish he would use the dictaphone I bought him for xmas some years ago to at least record himself speaking about his past to be transcribed later. He was a welder at a mill in Ireland during the Troubles, got into all sorts of antics, then eventually got a 16 yr old daughter of one of the farming families nearby pregnant and he ran away home back to England where my mum who had been newly engaged to him when he started his 7-year Irish contract was waiting. He's a Protestant, before you ask.

>>15026698
Sounds like you got /lit/ material there.