/lit/ - Literature

>>14846340
don't bring up any books at all, and if she talks about them just act politely interested for a bit and then change the subject.

>>14846340
Molloy, Malone Dies and The Unnameable

None. Let her do the talking and bullshit your way when she starts to talk about Wuthering Heights or some shit. Agree when she says that the canon shouldn't be all white dead men and if she presses you to name an author, just say Toni Morrison. Lit bitches love Toni Morrison.

>>14846340

Kafka

>>14846340
Why would you ever want to stick your dick in that

Anything to be desu, if you sound like you actually know what you're talking about a pseud will be forced to nod along so they don't have to face the possibility of admitting their own intellectual ineptitude

>>14846340
Gustav Meyrink - The Golem
BS Johnson - Christy Malry's Own Double Entry
Anything by Thomas Bernhard

Make sure you get her to explain to you what kafkaesque means

Also learn how to read tarot.

>>14846340
Deleuze or DFW

>>14846340
>bringing any books to a fucking date
bro...... you stupid or something?

Bring up the rape bit from Stoner. State that you don't feel that someone who is your wife can be raped. You immediately establish dominance over her and she won't be able to resist your cock.

>>14846340
E. Michael Jones

>>14846401
you cannot read

>>14846340
take public transport there because then you have an excuse to bring a book. make sure its a small one, maybe short stories or poems or something. something if she wants to look at it she can take something from it quickly

>>14846340
>What books should I read/bring up?
just talk about the books you already like, you're probably both plebs so it will work out just fine

>>14846340
tell her that reading is for boring nerds and you should make sex at each other instead

>>14846340
She's going to know. Or she's a poser too. Slight chance she'll be flattered.

>>14846362
This and tbqh art hoes don’t actually read so don’t embarrass her if you’re trying to fuck

just be 100% honest about what you've read and know and like/dislike. if you try either to front or to hide something, your speech will be awkward and unpleasant. you'll be tripping over your own lies instead of being funny and charming. although, I can only imagine how deeply unlikeable you must be to even think of making this thread in the first place...

>>14846340
David Foster Wallace

>>14846554
Lmao only simps are earnest with women.

Hopefully she has borderline because it will be the best sex you ever have followed by thinking about killing yourself

>>14846554
>m'lady you should know Im a man of valour and honor.

Get over yourself anon. Everybody lies and that bitch will probably lie more than him.

>>14846839
How do you even know the guy in your picture deserves to be mocked in this way, he might just be some nerd.

>>14846354
Because incredibly good advice too often gets no acknowledgement here I acknowledge: this.
If you'd rather a woman then early M. F. K. Fisher- The Gastronomical Me.

>>14846849
He looks like Jon Snow on the surface but essentially doesn't. It's ironic.

>>14846375
You're not from around here, are you?

>>14846839
I’m not the anon you’re replying to, but people generally shouldn’t lie. Lying is a sign of weakness and cowardice, and it defeats the use of language.

>>14846956
why do you say that?

>>14846340
Bring penis.

>>14846457
Indeed. He should turn that art major whore into an obedient tradcath ho.

>>14846956
braindead coomer

>>14846340
The Inner Chapters of Zhuangzi, a WW2 book and then take a course on indian philosophy

>>14846340
>planning discussion before a date
This is betamale shit. You act like conversations and discussions should be planned ahead of time rather than letting things take their natural course. I always tell virgins on this website to just let things occur naturally, pussygaming is a Chad game and judging by the fact you're asking for help on /lit/ I'm going to guess you're not much of a Chad. Close 4chin, don't try to impress her with your pseudo intellect and try not to lie, most women can see through this kind of bullshit instantly (that's why they mostly don't have sex with you).

>>14847230
Based.

Tell her your favorite book is Infinite Jest

>>14847260
If you want me to read anything you say or take it seriously publish it. I might even finish the first sentence. Publish.

>>14846699
Isn't that what sex is normally like or am I just doing it wrong?

>>14847203
Agree to a point, but if I notice that another person is dishonest I don't see a reason be honest to her.

Strange Aeons?

>>14846340
Why the fuck would you date someone who looks like that

>>14846340
BPD AND ECSTASY, CONCEITED WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM

>>14846340
If she's a lit major, she probably has a list of books of her own that she wants to talk about. Her entire education is to talk about books she's read, so unless she's fed up with talking about books due to her education, you should probably give her some space to talk about those fucking books. Don't be afraid of giving your own opinions on them, of course.

>>14847320
I know that tripshits are retarded by default, but that's extra fucking retarded. That's triple cheese with extra cheese and mayo and forgetting to take napkins retarded.

>>14847431
Why's that?

>>14846629
No, simps obfuscate and are scared to say what they really think

>>14846354
this, literary hipsters love Beckett for some reason. I'd bring up a confederacy of dunces, Gormenghast, or book of the new sun, but I tend to be genuine when talking about my interests.

>>14847293
No, BPD pussy feels like your brain is getting ground into ground beef and the pussy like slurps and squeezes your dick. Once when I came, it was so hard I immediately pulled out because I was in pain and I thought my dick hole had ruptured from the orgasm, and this shit was a regular occurrence. BPD girls love and know sex backwards and forwards and go nuts over it.

Then the next day you get a phone call and it’s a husband telling you she’s married.

>>14846629
Isn’t it more simpy to force yourself to agree with everything a woman says?

>>14846629
>arguing for monkey see monkey do

>>14846340
Louis-Ferdinand Celine - Trifles for a Massacre

>>14847235
neat. added

J.D. Salinger. Bitches love J.D. Salinger.

>>14847825
But anon... I love J.D. Salinger

>>14847841
Are you a man?

>>14847902
Might be a man, but nevertheless a bitch.

>>14848026
Since you put it that way, "A Perfect Day For Bananafish has a deep meaning."

>>14846414
This literally. I even fucked art hoes in my wignat phase. You just need to be edgy and Dom enough. You can say anything you want as long as they know you will take them back to your apartment abuse their throat, and force a creampie.

Tell her the jews killed Jesus

>>14847260
>>14846554
These desu, why ask 4chan for advice on women OP?

only talk about sex and violence, the two most degrading vices, the only things women respect

St. Augustine - Confessiones
St. Augustine - City Of God
St. Thomas - Summa Theologica
Plotinus - Enneades

>>14850045
Based

>>14846340
talk about your passions
women love it when you talk about things you are passionate about.
don't change your opnions to please her.
also don't talk about politics and hentai

the fact that you're asking 4chan for dating advice is the proof that you have never gone or will go on a date, so why create this fantasy? To have it validate it by strangers on 4chan? Damn

>>14849764
/thread

>>14846340
Challenge here and trash talk a popular female author when she gets upset start rape.exe

>>14846340
the one(s) you have with you.

>>14850323
what if your passions are politics and hentai?

>>14849764
But I am an alcoholic and compulsive video gamer. Do women respect these two vices?

Harry Potter

>>14846340
tell her the truth that reading is for cucks and you'd rather experience life first hand letting outsiders ideas cuck your brain is beta shit and you're to alpha for that

>>14846340
Infinite Jest.

>>14851969
If you actually talk like this in real life I'd imagine you don't have too many friends.

>>14851969
you don't sound too bright

>>14851969
Cuckolding is the thinking man's fetish and /lit/ women expect their men to be such great thinkers that they understand if they wish to ride the cock carousel between being taken to romantic dinners with their cuck boyfriend. After all, the literary giant revels in mindgames and mental masturbation while low IQ brutes who can barely read are built to fuck. Being cucked is a spook anyway.

Thus the sophisticated reader sits in his shed, having his mind penetrated by the big ideas of greater men by way of books while his lover is also penetrated on his bed by other men. Only to this ultimate cuckoldry can truly intelligent people orgasm.

>>14850323
>women love it when you talk about things you are passionate about
Dangerous advice for 4channel autists. While talking about things you're passionate about can make you seem more interesting, girls still prefer to be listened to rather than listen. There's a very thin line between how much you should talk about your passions and how much is too much, and most anons would fuck up on this matter.
All the rest is 100% good advice, though

>>14846340
Be daddy and let her talk

>>14852956
>>14852969
Kek, both good advice. Be genuine, but don't be a selfish conversationalist.

>>14846340
>What books should I read/bring up?

Idk, something by Calvino.

Calvino and Hobbes

Percy Jackson & The Olympians

>>14846380
>Meyrink
Great recc

>>14846956
kek

>>14846340
bukowski and updike

>>14847271
Damm look how ugly this guys cope is

>publish
>publissss
>bweh

>>14846340
The Second Sex, if you want to abase yourself

>>14847825
Hes so fucking good on god. Seymour:an introduction is word orgasm

>>14853288
He won't even get the first one if he does that

>>14853299
The image was supposed to be ironic

Guarantee her favorite book is Harry Potter or some rape shit women are retarded

>>14853738
She's a lit major, are you retarded? Way to generalize half of the population and not use context clues.

>>14853753
>no way bro this ones different i swear
ive met plenty of lit major bitches theyre not special, also your post is extremely cringe

>>14846340
my diary desu

>>14846340
Okay, here’s a little story. I met a girl on Tinder a few weeks ago and after only one beer at the bar she came back to my place and we hooked up. We decided to meet up again soon, and before our second date about a week later she texted me saying that her friend was upset with her for not being around on her birthday, she was going to buy her a drink, and would I mind meeting them somewhere? Sure, no problem. This girl was pretty crazy in bed, so although I was in no way expecting it, I couldn’t help the thought of a potential threesome from creeping in my head.
Well, I get to the bar and the friend looks exactly like the girl in your picture and has a guy with her, so no dice there. They’re all pretty drunk, and while getting acquainted with these new people, I watch her eat an entire frozen bar pizza by herself and feel nauseous from her garlicky cheese and stale beer breath floating around in my vicinity. I drink one beer and this OP-looking girl wants me and girl A to walk her home because the guy she’s with is giving off weird vibes and making her uncomfortable.
Well, of course he shoehorns himself into walking her home too, and upon arriving to her apartment she invites all of us in for a glass of wine. I don’t really want to keep hanging out with these people, but girl A is wasted (to the point that I’m totally turned off by her behavior and have no real interest in having her back over to my place at this point) so we go in and while they dance to David Bowie in her living room I examine her bookshelves, which actually have some pretty good selections displayed.
Seeing that I’ve taken an interest in her books (and her cat who has wandered over to say hello), the girl from the OP pic starts talking to me about books, or tries to anyway, as it becomes immediately clear that she hasn’t read most of them, despite being a literature major. Her favorites are in her room, she says, and since I studied philosophy in undergrad she’s sure I’ll appreciate these. She goes to retrieve them.
She returns with Ready Player One, God is Not Great, and three Sam Harris books. I didn’t really know how to respond, but girl A was starting to get jealous that her friend and I were talking by ourselves and stated that she was ready to leave, so I didn’t really have to come up with to much of a response. We leave, girl A throws up on the walk back to my place (but not after very explicitly stating how jealous she felt that her friend and I were “hitting it off”) and I drive her home with no intention of seeing her again. I should mention that she is significantly more attractive than her friend. Anyway, guess what her cat’s name was? Richard Pawkins. You can’t make this shit up.

Anyway, the point is that this girl meeting has a high chance of being a pseud and you should just let things flow naturally and not worry about presenting yourself too artificially.

>>14853774
You're a retard if you assume someone that chose a lit major's favorite book is harry potter. You seem like the type of guy that's only capable of preconceiving, I assumed all that practice would've made you better at it, I guess not.

>>14853803
People that shape their appearance in order to seem complex and well-read usually aren't. Insightful people see it as a waste of time.

>>14853803
his is the way I tell stories and the reason nobody likes me
Good story though

>>14853819
Stories like these are crowd pleasers if you know how to deliver them to whomever you’re relaying it to and are aware enough to just cut to the point when interest wanes.

>>14853806
I’m in a graduate teaching program right now and have some classes with undergrads, many of whom are double majoring in English and Education, and at least 2 of them have openly admitted to the class that HP is their favorite book (which one? I don’t know and really don’t think it matters) and they “really aren’t looking forward to teaching students boring stuff like Heart of Darkness and The Scarlet Latter.” I’m at a well-regarded school. These people are everywhere and are going into secondary schools to teach your children. It’s fucked.

>>14846340
>tfw had /lit/ gf
>told me she was going through a lot and needed time to herself
>blackpilled, so prepared myself to be cheated on
>she instead tells me that she thinks she's a lesbian
>she thanks me for loving her and asks if we can still be close friends

>>14853865
That's fucked, but I still don't think the minority should inform your prejudgements toward the majority.

>>14853881
Yeah, I guess I didn’t read you post correctly. I agree with you. To acknowledge that they exist is important but to make an assumption like that is very pretty idiotic

>>14853877
Ouch.

>>14853877
Literally a seinfeld episode, you "made" her gay anon.

>>14853806
delusional

>>14853912
Nah, she was always extremely anxious. She was in an abusive long-term relationship before she met me, and she told me before we got together that she's very distrusting of men because of it. I think she's partly doing the lesbian thing out of trauma because she wants to avoid men desu.

>>14853894
>>14853922
>>14853894
You're seriously arguing it's the majority?

>>14853924
Ah, I was just joking anon btw, I don't want you to seriously think that. It's true that people often overcorrect in the areas they feel vulnerable.

>>14847203
>it defeats the use of language.
Au contraire, mon simple ami.

>>14853924
>>14853881

>>14853941
True, in a sense it's the main purpose of it.

>>14853927
look at this dude

>>14853932
Yeah, I kind of think that because she has said in the past that she is deeply afraid of men. Some of the things she said when we broke up make me really sad for her. There was stuff she hadn't told me about her prior relationship. But basically what she said was that our relationship becoming more serious was causing her to have panic attacks because it was around that stage in her old relationship that her ex started abusing her. She said that she has feelings, but that it would be unfair to put me or any other guy through her paranoia, so she's going to date women exclusively. Which I think is kind of unhealthy as a coping mechanism.

>>14853966
True, it seems like putting a bandaid over a bandaid.

>>14846548
kek

>>14846340
none she doesn't actually read

>>14853806
i can smell your virginity from here

>>14854110
How exactly would you smell someone's virginity? It's not as if it takes any skill in life to lose it. It's as simple as going to a brothel. Find something less pathetic to be proud of.

Read: Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Bring: whip

>>14854131
go away cringy virgin

>>14846956
I'm "from around here", but I browse the shit out of /fit/ and /sp/, which means I have a little something called "self respect".

>>14854194
you gay bro?

>>14854176
Learn to write English. You're on the literature board.

>>14854200
No self respecting man would go for girls over guys

>>14853966
Some of these things run deep and there's not much you can do
I used to live with someone who was scared of relationships with men because of the abuse she got from being with an ftm

>>14854203
keep seething virgin

>>14854223
woah based

>>14854253
stop cooming

>>14846347
END. THREAD.

>>14846340
You're a spineless pandering idiot and she will treat you as such. If you're smart you won't try to be her nerdy bookish friend in conversation

>>14846347
This feels like something DFW would do. He was an ashamed and closeted intellectual.

>>14846475
Don’t listen to this guy

>>14850393
This. Go out and see if you like her. Simple.

>>14853084
I know this is a shit post, but Calvino isn’t a bad choice here. I have had personal success talking about If on a Winter’s Night(...) and then giving the girl my old faded copy of Invisible Cities. Bitches love Calvino.

>>14847235
that is an unironically aesthetic cover

>>14847235
is this actually good? The cover's piqued my interest.

>>14853811
no, listen bruh, you're just ugly and dumb. Don't try to justify it.

>>14846629
Literally the opposite Tbh

>>14853865
>really aren’t looking forward to teaching students boring stuff like Heart of Darkness and The Scarlet Latter

They sound fuckin based. Those books both sucked. One is a one dimensional analysis of imperialism and the other is a wack-ass cope with his lineage. They're dated and have little relevant to the struggles of today, and just fuck hawthorne in general who was so focused on the past that he missed all the interesting things happening in the developing country around him.

Fuck you for your pretentiousness, pseud. Those students are woke

>>14853803
>richard pawkins

Mashallah brother, you dodged a bullet there

>>14846375
It's like my dad used to say... a stiff dick has no conscience.

>>14847333
Based mkultra

>>14846340
>What books should I read/bring up?
The DSM-IV?

>>14847333
SHES A TEENAGE DREAM IF YOU HATE YOURSELF

>>14854561
True intellect is humble

What is a date with a woman like?

>>14846554
>you'll be tripping over your own lies
lmfao I'm living like 20 different lies

>>14857460
Like a date with a man, except it's with a woman instead

>>14857460
What makes you think anyone here would know?

>>14857784
What is a date with a man like?
>>14857793
Why wouldn't they?

>>14846414
based lmao

>>14847553
I would suggest being aware of the names of Beckett's works -- I recently overheard an alleged theatre director not knowing what End Game was at a cafe I frequent.

>>14857820
It's like a date with a woman, except with a man instead

>>14857888
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>14857888
If I may point out a problem with your reasoning: being on a date with a woman does not preclude the possibility that you are also on a date with a man.

>>14857877
Were they talking about the new adaption with Daniel Radcliffe? I've been meaning to get tickets for that.

>>14857907
Indeed they were dear boy. Apparently it's good, but their discussion was trash so who knows? Worth a look at any rate imo.

>>14847575
how do you know a girl is actually BPD vs just prone to poor and irresponsible decision making?

>>14857979
You're confusing BPD with impulsivity in the sense of impulsivity-compulsivity psych shit. People with ADHD are also impulsive for example, and are prone to poor and irresponsible decision making.

>>14857993
Ok, let me be more specific
>meet girl on a trip, feel like we become genuine friends over unusual shared interests, don't care that she has a bf (her "partner") because I know that kind of rapport is rare with anyone
>invites me to visit her for a few days, become closer (her bf works out of town and is rarely home
>on my last night we bang
>visit her again, tell each other we're crazy about each other etc, naturally expect that she'll leave her bf
>she keeps texting and saying shit to me that you only say to someone if you love them and want to be together, but at other times also keeps saying how it's too bad she's "taken" already
>blah blah blah I want to shoot myself etc
I've tried to figure out why she's so fucked up because I think understanding it would help be get over it

>>14858049
Stop putting your well-being in the hands of strangers, she doesn't value you. That doesn't mean she has any underlying mental issues, it just means she doesn't value you.

You need more perspective and you'll only get that as you get out into the world a bit more and meet more people.

arthoes are my guilty pleasure

>>14846340
She's a whore. Don't do it, OP

You should ask her anon!

>>14846457
Huh, based.

>>14846354
the virgin trilogy vs. the chad nohow on

>>14858157
This, but do it.

>>14853881
oh no, we should all respect fucking lit majors. could you be more academia cucked?

>>14854194
>I browse the shit out of /fit/ and /sp/, which means I have a little something called "self respect".
Are you underage? That's so fucking cringy, neck yourself please.

>>14846340
Don’t force the topic. Just be natural. Women are very empathetic and socially developed, and if the conversation seems contrived at all she’ll be able to tell and it’ll put her off like it would most people. Don’t ever put up a facade for anyone you’re romantically interested in.

>>14858557
If I was judging a Physics major, I'd assume their favorite law wouldn't be newton's. It's just common sense anon, it's not a qualifier.

>>14858557
anti-intellectualism is cope just as much as idpol is. If you lack the strength of will to subsume all the charlatanry to your own vision, that's on you.

>>14859645
lol do physics autists really have a "favorite law"?

>>14859684
It's a shitty analogy, but you get my point. I'd assume an art history major's favorite painting isn't the mona lisa either.

>>14859688
Okay that makes more sense. At any rate, in my experience women don't mind if you are condescending about your tastes so long as you also make a concession that theirs are "valid" too. This even includes the ones who go on about mansplaining, unless they happen to genuinely hate men for other reasons. You shouldn't assume things about people either way.

>>14859698
True, not being dismissive is the key to talking about artistic taste and not coming across like an asshole. If she says her favourite book is one you don't know/didn't enjoy then say you haven't read it, or if you have then ask her what she liked about it and avoid shitting on it.

>>14846340
>first date
let her do the talking.
put her on the spot to impress you; feign interest as you drop hints that you already know what she knows, and her knowledge is pedestrian.

>>14846340
Depends on your endgame.
If you want to pump and dump name at least 1 book you know she'll dislike so she can frame her getting dumped as some power move on her part to stick it to some shitlord.

If you want Art Hoe GF (yuck), avoid bringing up topics that might be in her wheelhouse altogether. Just say you think Van Gogh is based and that artists deserve free money. Then agree with everything she says.

>>14857460
debasing but kind of nice sometimes

>>14861102
I find it revealing and they always end up telling me something about myself that surprises me

>>14861138
You have instants where you wonder if wiping your ass too carefully might mean you're into butt play.

>>14861600
No, but sometimes I definitely wonder if I wipe too methodically and I'm going to give myself ass cancer and if I should invest in a bidet

>>14861614
>and if I should invest in a bidet
Go for it dude.