/lit/ - Literature

She had the capacity to write a book? that's news to me.

Or did her ghostwriters somehow make cohesive sense of her ramblings and idiocy?

GOD. FUCKING. DAMMIT.

I'm not surprised that she could throw together a book. I am surprised that many people bought it.

>>1474008
Good writers have to fight tooth and nail to get their first book published.

A whore ghost writes a book and becomes a NYT best selling author?

Yeah, ok.

Did she write a book?

How did the people that watch Jersey Shore develop the cogniscitive capacity that takes reading a book?

>>1474025
it's probably the train wreck effect. people see how horrible everything is about her they have to read the book just to see how truly horrifying/idiotic she really is

>>1474029

You seem to labor under the delusional belief that "best selling" and "good writer" have a relationship that they do not have.

Ghost Writing could be a good job. I'd write Snooki's book.

Remember that Best Seller lists are manipulated by publishers. They buy large copies of their own book and ship them to booksellers. Anything booksellers can't sell gets sent back to the publisher. The number of books sent back is never released.

This is why lousy books by famous non-authors shoot to the best-seller list and stay listed for so long. It's a game played by publishers - a literary pissing contest.

>>1474029
This is how it's been for years. There isn't even anything to discuss here. It's like being surprised that Lil Wayne charts.

>>1474032
I'm getting tired of this "so bad its good" excuse for explaining why people enjoy Jersey Shore, terrible films, and all purposely bad shit in the media. They might as well be honest with themselves and say they like it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

>>1474037
where does one start to get into ghost writing?

I've got a writing degree that's itching to be used.

>>1474049
It's probably one of those "If you have to ask..." deals. I'd guess you'd have to have at the very least already submitted work to a publishing company to get tapped for a job like that.

>>1474008
I fucking lost it

>>1474049
write to Palin and ask for a list of her friends.Use small words.

WAT IN THE LORD'S FUCK IS THIS SHIT

>>1474041
This.

>>1474049
You have to become an actual published writer on your own merits first, then not quite fail but instead be so incredibly mediocre that you sort of damage your brand to the point where you have to either nymshift to avoid the stigma, write commercial fanfiction, and/or write under others' names.

It's a difficult path, but I believe you can do it if you try.

>>1474080

haha this has got to be the most depressing yet realistic career advice ever: "enjoy a scrap of small, humble success and then gradually fail on a steady, unremarkable decline. only then you can reach the promised land."

>OMG LIFE IS UNFAIR AND PEOPLE BUY STUPID SHIT I'M SO ENRAGED BY THESE FACTS OF LIFE I SHOULD HAVE LEARNED AT ABOUT 14.

Oh, /lit/.

>>1474080
>nymshift
are you a gnome?

WE ALL LIVE IN AMERICA

NOPE.

This is how she 'wrote' the book:
I was in my Snuggie and there was like a roaring fire. I made the book agent people bring in this old school typewriter to work on because they just look so awesome. At first, they told me they couldn’t because it would mean a lot more work for the writer but I didn’t care because I wasn’t writing the stupid thing. So then I told Valerie stories about my life and she would type it on the typewriter. Oh my god, it would make the cutest sound when she did it! “CCH-CHH-CHH!” Isn’t that the sound they make? Anyways, if Valerie wasn’t working fast enough, I would throw crackers at head.

>>1474136
> Snooki
> In a Snuggie.

>>1474142

I'd pay several hundred dollars to bang snooki while she wears a snuggie.

>>1474124

WE ALL LIVE IN

'MURICA

>>1474166
WE ALL LIVE IN

'MURKA

>>1474171

WE ALL LIVE IN

'MURGHAGHAGONNAEATANOTHERCHEESEBURGER

>>1474178
WE ALL LIVE IN AMERDEYTOOOKURRRRJEERRBSSS

hey /lit/, you remember when I told you that Snooki was coming to my local book store to corrupt the youth and continue the downward spiral of literature and you said don't worry about it?

WELL I TOLD YOU BRO, I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE SNOOKI

Well, who knew that literature was infested with shovelware like vidya and music is.

Only a matter of time before we get a Cawwa dooty book that makes the best seller list

heh, who cares?

THIS IS WHY THE WORLD HATES US, AMERICA

THIS

THIS IS WHY THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE FAT DROOLING RETARDS

the fuck

who is she

>>1476953

You think you have it bad?
I live in New Jersey

I think low brow shit like this has always been absorbed by the masses, the only reason it's no so apparent historically is because only the intelligent literature survived in the cultural consciousness of society.

There is no cultural degradation, it has always been this way.

Right now I am just feeling very content that before this thread I didn't have the slightest clue who this person is.

>>1476978
>There is no cultural degradation, it has always been this way.

sure thing trufax I guess that is why like two people on the planet still like classical music unironically while the rest of us see no harm with souljaboy/black people

http://clutch.mtv.com/2011/01/12/the-best-amazon-reviews-for-snookis-a-shore-thing/

Just by looking at the chapters....

>>1476998

I think I just lost a few brain cells.

>>1476989

There will always be an appreciation for classical music. This superficial shit - including all the black rappers and r&b bands you can think of - won't last 10 years.

i think she's cute

F*ckin Stephen Tyler likes Debussy.

Don't have to be elitist to like classical. Fantasia was the shit.

Lol, Amerika proved to be the most stupid place on Earth. Once again. As always. Forever and ever. God bless you guize.

>>1477016
Tyler's father was a classical musician and he is an elitist by every definition of the term.

>>1474956
Ever head of Tom Clancy?

>>1477007

They've already lasted more than that. Oh sad world.

>>1477007
>>1477007
>>1477007
This x1000.

Any non-Mestizo/Chinese music will be an afterthought a few centuries from now. The music of Europeans and their African slaves are, historically speaking, a fad.

>>1477034
Nope.

>>1477038

Sorry man, but Bach is here to stay.

>>1477038

Explain Rameau, Liszt, Bach or Haydn...

>>1477007
oh wow, you think bad music is something new.

>>1477034

Dr.Dre - The Chronic 2001

I think this is actually good shit but still. It proves my point.

>>1477047

There was bad classical, but degenerescence of the genres started in the late 30's.

>>1477047

please see:

>>1476978

I know it's nothing new, but individual "artists" won't last unless they are exceptionally good.

>>1476977

How is New Jersey? I left New Jersey a year ago.

>>1477055

Name me one single ''bad artist'' that made his career before 1930. What you're saying is totally illogical. Instrument evolved in the 20th century, how could there be anything else than classic before that? Masses just didn't consume music before the 1930's.

>>1477043
>>1477044
You're citing music in the current era of Eurodominance and acting as if your frame of reference will persist forever. Come on.

How much Etruscan music do you fancy? There were in fact Etruscan geniuses who crafted masterful music which was appreciated for centuries, you know. Now they're just footnotes. Same as Bach.

ITT: People who don't understand that musical taste is subjective. Seriously, I figured out that people hold different opinions when I was like 11.

>>1477069

You do realize that Party in the USA (Miley Cyrus) is #1 in China at the moment?

>>1477076
no-one has said anything about taste in this thread

>>1477076

It doesn't mean they're as right as we - classic fans - are. Akon is not Mahler and he will never be on any basis of comparison except popularity. This is why it's sad.

>>1477081

>Akon is not Mahler

Way to prove my point, fucktard.

>>1477078
So what? European cultures have the greatest influence on the world at the moment. It really means absolutely nothing.

>>1477078
http://top40-charts.com/chart.php?cid=42

Holy shit he's right. Also 2nd place is a bomb ass album.

>>1477007
>>1477038
>>1477042
>>1477047
>>1477055
>>1477069
>>1477076

Idiots. What are you even doing on /lit/? Seriously?

>>1477091
Why are you such a pussy that you can't muster a response to specific posts?

>>1477076

Fuck off you post-modernist piece of shit.

There are objective qualities which make Bach's music better than Dr Dre and any suggestion that it isn't will always be baseless and vacuous.

>>1477068

Okay, but that doesn't meant that classical music was loved by the masses. I'm sure they had colloquial and folk songs that were far more crude and yet far more popular.

>>1477094
probably some refugee from /r9k/, ignore it

>>1477088
http://www.billboard.com/charts/billboard-200#/charts/billboard-200

Only decent albums I see are 10 and maybe 18.

>>1477095
>There are objective qualities which make Bach's music better than Dr Dre

Actually if you take a music theory course you'll find that they're really quite similar in terms of compositional complexity and influences.

>>1477085

The fuck? Do you even have a point? If you know that Mahler is not Akon, you do realize that they can't be on the same level, right? Since they're not the same. 1 does not = 2. Still following? Mahler has complexity, genious, behind his compositions. Akon has an uneducated mass that like his songs because they sound well in clubs.

It might be a simple statement but it still is a very sad one.

>>1477094

I responded to a lot of them. I just couldn't believe there were so much idiots on /lit/ at the same time. Which is why I made this post.

>>1477104
>genious
>sound well
uneducated mass detected

>you will never have Your book on the New York Times Best Selling List.

>>1477095

I'm >>1477068

Of course there were colloquial and folk songs, but even those were based on social concerns like war, or social causes like hunger or shits like that. There was no folktale about loving a hoe or smoking maryjane in the 1700.

>>1477102

>>1477107

Je suis un francophone. Je fais ce que je peux en anglais.

>>1477116

Leave /lit/.
Now.

>>1477129

Explain yourself. I can explain my point. These popular folk songs were written by educated people. Lyrics had to have a minimum of sense and intelligence. I can even name a few of these if you need.

Nowadays any little poor nigger can have a great musical career (read Lil'Wayne).

Imagine a whole book full of this.

>>1477141
Also this.

>Of course there were colloquial and folk songs, but even those were based on social concerns like war, or social causes like hunger or shits like that. There was no folktale about loving a hoe or smoking maryjane in the 1700.

This is the most idiotic thing I have ever seen on this board. What are you, like 13? Let me guess. "I'm 28 I'll have you know and have a successful career." Nope. You're 13, and your little racist hangout /new/ got destroyed, so you have to carve out a new niche, by being a pretentious nitwit. Get the fuck out.

>>1477173

I'm 19 and still waiting for a concrete argument emerging from you to prove me wrong.

Let me precise something : I, of course, am talking about Occidental music created between 1600 and today. Never ever something as stupid as Akon was created before the 1930's.

>>1477173

Some other precisions, I'm not racist at all. I have black friends. I'm not on a way to have a successful career. I dropped out of school at 17 to become an author.

What's your fucking point?

>implying the Best Seller list means a god damned thing

>>1477191

Of course it means something. It's not as arbitrary as a tree. It means mass haven't evolved and probably never will. It means that we intellectuals have two options : use our knowledge to make the world a better place for them (socialism) or ally to exploit them the most we can without letting them know (capitalism).

>>1477189

>I'm not racist at all. I have black friends

I know I'm going to get slammed for this, but I don't see what the big deal is. All these guys were poor as hell a little more than a year ago, now thanks to their charisma (and that's what it is, charisma), they are now living the American Dream.

And isn't that a good thing?

>>1477199

That's called proving a point. It's one of the basis of argumentation. Make a statement then prove it. I don't see what's wrong.

>>1477195
So in replying to a comment about the futility of paying attention to the NYT best seller list you managed to somehow turn that into a reason for justifying your own extremely shaky opinions about extremist politics?

never change, /lit/

lol niggers :) i have tons o cash

>>1477204

No it isn't. It contributes to capitalism, which is not a good thing.

>>1477212

Yes I did. You didn't prove me wrong though.

This thread has turned into as big of a trainwreck as the book itself. For fuck's sake, guys.

>>1477214
>baww i want other peoples' money

>>1477214
>No it isn't. It contributes to capitalism, which is not a good thing.

Really? That's the reason you're giving?

Wow.

>>1477220

I'm still young (19) and do not have a lot of money but my father is very rich and made his own money because of capitalism. That's not (at all) the point. I do not want other people's money. It's not even about money. I want people in Haiti, Somalia and Tibet to have a better life. I want people in Montreal-Nord to have a better life. I want the world to be a better place.

>>1477219
the book was never a train.

>>1477222

Well yeah. It contributes to the ''starsystem'', creates more millionaires (my own father is one and I hate those guys), etc.

I'm an elitist-socialist (I want the mass to be an elite, in other terms) and I hate Akon because he's not an intellectual elite and neither does he contribute to a better world.

>>1477225
Kill yourself.

>>1477236

Time will do that for me. I'll fight for my cause till it does so.

>>1477236
this

>>1477233
You act as though most millionaires don't participate in philanthropy. And anyway, the goal in America is to be as successful as possible.

These Jersey Shore fellows have been able to achieve it. They don't have much talent (if at all), but they do have charisma and confidence. And sometimes that's all you need.

Actually they're not that charismatic, guidos are just an interesting topic to the general public who knows they're assholes. Their popularity will die when Jersey Shore gets canceled.

Thanks god i don't live in the USA.

And it's funny cause i live in Chile, she's from here or something like that. Oh, the irony.

The problem isn't that people have gotten stupider, they are just as dumb as always. However in the old days Dickens, Dostoevsky, Balzac, Tolstoy were very popular among the same class of people that eats up shit like Jersey Shore and Twilight. If anything their audiences were even dumber than snookie's.

The problem is that most of the decent writers alive are too alienated from society to write fiction that can appeal to a mass audience. That isn't to say that modern fiction sucks, some of it is really good, it's just generally made for alienated intellectuals by alienated intellectuals.

>>1474041
Lil Wayne charts?!

>>1476989

I was unaware that there was an ironic way to enjoy classical music.

>>1477184
>Never ever something as stupid as Akon was created before the 1930's.

Yes, and that's what's stupid, and makes me make assumptions about the qualities of your stupidity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySXkHj1Yp1w
Written in 1928. I suppose you could fixate on the rather decent improvisation that occurs once you've resigned yourself to the happy fact that the song will go no lower.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVOcn3cjcQ8
Written in 1920. This was a heavily requested song from 1920. It's got some redeeming qualities, just like Akon, but could you ever listen to this more than twice? No, you couldn't, but people in 1920 thought it was worth listening to hundreds of times. Granted, this was a novel sort of faux-blues recording in an age when the blues were really getting formalized and expanded, but that's all it had going for it: Novelty. Listen, history is littered with songs like this that time has mercifully forgotten, and the only people who remember them and can critique them is dwindling by the day. It's easy to say they were living a life filled with literature before the modern age swooped in, and then you read some of the magazines and read some of the non-canon literature, and you find out just how apparently vacuous a lot of the most popular media were from just about every era, besides the occasional flourish of creativity like Austria in the Classical Era, Germany in the Baroque, Italy in the Renaissance, and, what the hell, Russian literature in the late 19th century (and ironically for this whole argument, two great examples are the U.S. in the periods of 1920-1939 and 1960-1979).

>>1477247

But they do not... they only ones that do so aren't only millionaires, they're billionaires and do so for their image, most of the times. The ''very-rich'' class (and they're easily at least 50 000 in Montreal only) do not at all contribute in the philantrophy class. You're the one who's wrong here.

I don't blame Akon and the Jesey-shorian themselves. They did what they could with that they had. I blame society for making them heroes and superstars. They do not contribute to society in any possible way.

Gandhi was a hero, a superstar. Even Hitler deserved that title, in his way.

Anyways. I'm the only one holding my point for a while and I'm out for the evening.

>>1477254
You've explained this better than I have. It's a freaking observational experiment disguised as entertainment, people. Come on.

>>1477225


sounds like your daddy isn't gonna give you a goddamn cent. u mad?

stephanie meyer must be shit pissed that someone wrote a book more mind plaguing than hers

id rather watch a full length double feature of myself masturbating

>>1477288
Dude that sounds hot. Make it and I'll go see it ten times.

This is only my second time on lit, I came here when it was made and got like the third post or something, but after seeing this thread I think I'll hang around.

>>1477267

Crying, laughing and screaming at the same time. Feels so ____ man!