/lit/ - Literature

>>14705166
He was his freind, but the crimes were unforgivable, he had to be banished from the realm.
"I'm sorry, old friend," cat wizard uttered solemnly

someone else continue

He never wanted to be a sports wizard.
he would have much rather perferred yarn wizard, or gravy wizard.but he had no choice in the matter. He wondered what he could have been if he was never cradeled in the arms of his master.
This all a great game an endless chase of a single point of light, takinga nip to escape this reality. What did it all matter anyways.
In the back of his mind he knew.
That he was a gift to his master just as much as a master is to his pet. And that is where we draw the magic from.

>If only you knew how bad things really are.

"WORMINGTON! WHERE IS WORMINGTON! SHOW YOURSELF"
"...Yes, yes your Lordship Sir Kittington."
"Have you gathered the crystals yet?"
"No your Lordship. There has been...a problem."
"A PROBLEM? I gave you free reign to all the Dark Meowgic army, there is not a being on this planetoid that could stop you!"
"Well, your Lordship," Henchman A trembled before the awesome power of Lord Sir Kittington's baleful gaze, which he knew might be his last time seeing, "we sent in both the Chicken and the Liver brigades.."
"And what happened to them?"
"...They did not deliver, your Lordship."
"And WHY?"
"They were defeated, your Lordship."
"BY WHAT, or WHOM?!"
"They were... they were..."
"TELL ME IMMEDIATELY!"
"Your Lordship, they were defeated by invaders from the planet Yarn..."

>>14705166
Happy birthday kitty!

A young kitten sits in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young kitty's birthday. Though it was 1 year ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
>enter name

>>14705791
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

>>14705791
I will name him Myron.

>>14705978
Upon hearing his name for the first time.
His owner and everyone looking at him with love and adoration, something stirred in him. And felt for the first time to speak to these people like they were family.
He looked at the humans in attendance even at this unfamiliar angle so high up off the ground.
He tried his hardest to say what some hindu priests say to others.
"Mmmrrrrrrnnnn"
the crowed erupted in adorable adoration like the congregation at a newborn batism.
But they, mouth agape from all the good thoughts that come with fluffy kitties, could only let out the first part or halleluja in one long drawn out
"hAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
and after about three seconds myron had enough of this pomp and circumstance, leaped out of his owners hands then ran off to take a shit and resume his spot at the window .

>>14705166
I kiss the kitty but kitty don't understnand what kisses are so he gets scared and things he's in trouble

>>14705166
Here exists an empty woman, clad in red and sickly in frame. These sorts always found rather ridiculous ways of amusing themselves. She hosted "event" for milestones such as finishing a long novel, successfully socializing at her workplace, and being complimented on anonymous image boards. Today, she celebrated her feline's birthday (not that she actually knew the day itself, she simply decided that her cat had been born March 13th. In reality, she knew not when it was born or how old the cat was.) Thus, after a quick exchange at the dollar-store, avoiding the gaze of the cashier and answering his pleasantries with banal stock responses, she returned home to her little Solomon. "I got a sports hat because he's a boy!" She thought endearingly and stupidly. She made him his favorite dish, cat food, and sang him Happy Birthday as one ought to do on a cat's birthday. After finishing his food, Solomon regurgitated the slop. "Ooooh what a naughty boy!" The woman exclaimed, snatching him up. She reached in her pocket to retrieve her phone. "Say cheese!" Snap. She cropped herself out of the frame and stared at her new masterpiece. The woman stared intently. Solomon looked sad, tears welling in his eyes due to the stress of having just thrown up his dinner. To the woman, it appeared even the cat itself was saddened by the pathetic display its own master invoked.

>>14705166
Wizard final death orgasm. Cat claws its own eyes. It cannot believe cum satisfaction creeping across all measurable components of its flesh world habitation. Hand grips the throat.
"Tighter," the cat whispers. "Tighter."
Enter praetorial gonad world cum-filled skies erupting in menstruation and ovum, massive pieces of human tissue coat the planet and rot and are instantly replaced. The sky is at all times a deep red. You are enslaved, tied by your throat to multiple John Deere riding lawn mowers.
The cat winces. There is pain. Only pain though, unfortunately. There is no insertion or penetration. There is only pain as he is held wearing his little sports wizard hat. He casts a spell, silently, that will make all the children of the earth happy, but the lands become scorched and baron and the children are herded one by one into camps where they are eaten for food by the global elite.
"Happy birthday," you say over the sound of several lawn mowers. And you mean it.

>>14706599
Bleh, used stared twice in quick succession I'm buzzed

Why, what a feline. What a boy. What a child. Look. No, look. Upon his head a crown sits, etched. Look at his eyes! A perfect picture of a picaresque personality? Far from it! Inside lies a deep regret, a secret not yet revealed unto this world. If only this young man would reveal the truth to us, then maybe we would understand.

>>14706608
based

They are just looking at me, but I feel empty. I am here because they are here, ya know. I want to believe in this, but it feel like facade. The only one I like here is my sister, but we never talk. We just like being alone together. Those hentai manga's are never going to be my life. I can't sneak in the proposition to her, she will just get grossed out. Maybe these my hidden optimism will be fruitful, but I am scared. It's one of those things.

She does seem excited when I flirt with her, but women be like that at her age. I am just overthinking it. I should just tell her she is looking like a joke. I meant to say that she is looking good, like I am joking, but that would work too. Like I'll say your a joke, but me kissing you would be the punch line. Like a cut jab with secret intention.

Update, I have been staring at my sister for the last 10 minutes. Everybody at my own party is giving me strange looks. I am thinking they know whats up. My sister is laughing her ass off, told me I look like a perv in front of everybody. I hate it here, the room feels tight, and I can't breath.

I jerked off in the bathroom to relive the tension. And I noticed as I got out that almost everybody left, and my mom, and dad were cleaning the place. I found out that the door was crack, and everybody jumped ship. Great party, I only cried for half an hour.