/lit/ - Literature

>>14658605
Nice guys finish last.

>>14658605
If you really wanted to do it then you'd just do it, you wouldn't need to ask how.

Do what you say you want to do. Step by step, you get closer to your dream. Also the journey is enjoyable, after you have dried your tears. Many memories, much movement.

this is really admirable, anon. i try to take a similar approach to things—hurting any living being makes me feel rotten. forgiveness is hard when you’ve been so beaten down, but sometimes it is freeing to forgive. be strong, though. don’t let people squash your kindness and take advantage of your heart. follow your dreams and be loving but firm.

Sounds you should give meditation a try. I thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo at first, but I've truly felt much more postive and friendly, since I've started metitating.

>>14658605
help yourself before you can help others.
so, get the fuck off 4chan and stop wasting time.

>>14658605
i think just make sure to consciously reject the impulse. then the impulse should go away eventually

>/lit/ - Literature

>>14658609
You know, my math teacher/football coach in high school used to say this same thing all the time. “Nice guys finish last.”

He ended up getting arrested for having sex with one of the students my senior year of high school.

https://www.wbbjtv.com/2012/01/26/high-school-coach-charged-with-rape/

Jesus.

>>14659812
the absolute state of seething incels who finished last

>>14659812
This doesn't invalidate the saying. Am I on twitter or what?

>>14658605
Honestly, I don’t know how I do it, but it’s a struggle for me to be mean. For some reason I just empathize with that feeling of rejection and despair on some spiritual level that even bringing myself to discipline my dog is difficult. When someone crosses me, I always think about why they are doing what they do, what compels them to be malicious or unknowingly hurtful. It’s an immediate response, and usually I can make a good connection because behavior tends to be rather shallow and circular. When you do this the feeling of forgiveness washes over you. You sympathize with their lack of knowledge for being a better person. You wish to hurt them back the way they hurt you, but you know better and don’t desire to feed into the cycle which only reinforces the aversive contingencies. Some days I wish I could be a sociopath. The toll of being unendingly kind and forging has cost me dearly over the years. I just see the best in people and always hope to manifest the good in them.

>>14659855
>>14658609
nice guys dont finish last because their is always a nicer guy for finishes last. Niceness is a non terminating variable

>>14658605
It's really encouraging to see this post here :)) I hear myself in this; I was in the same place not too long ago. I'm still working on it, but I took a harsh look at my life after some serious destruction came to erupt from my dilapidated psyche.
There are many reasons why I harshly swerved from being a Nazi and just an overall terrible human being, but here's what's helped me:

1) You're heart has to basically go through an insurrection of kindness and love. It's already a great sign that you want to do this. Otherwise, there's no saving yourself. This realization is the hardest part so congrats!! You've already done well, just keep going!

2) Look at the problems and feelings you have in yourself. Everyone shares these in their own ways. If you've felt hurt then you are beginning to understand others. So, if you have problems, good! Just keep these in mind, but don't hate yourself for them.

3) Find someone who really speaks to you; your mom, dad, sister, whatever. Be vigilant in observing what makes them so kind!

And, what really set my balls a'blazing was listening to Bjork lol. Not everyone likes her, but she embodies the love that I aspire to. So, I recommend trying out her music.

Love you anon!!

>>14659893
put your trip back on butterfly

>>14658605
Read the Dan

Watch Ikiru.

>>14659893
I like this. Wish there was more posters like you around, anon

>>14658605
>>14658605
>>14658609
First, you must understand one clear distinction:

Being nice is superficial and surface level, done for social gain and the need to appear pleasantly and likeable towards other people. It is a way to manage perceptions. That’s why when you first meet someone and they make a good impression on you, and you recall said meeting to a friend later on, your descriptor of their character is “oh, he’s nice.” What you want is to be kind. Kindness is rooted in empathy, it makes you go out of your way and takes actual work and careful thought. To do something kind takes careful consideration and personal investment into the life of another person. It feeds those who act upon it and is received back in spades.

Don’t be nice, be kind.

>>14658605
Read the Holy Bible and read 12 Rules for Life.

>>14659853
No, no I think being a spiteful sociopath is probably more of a Incel quality than “treating people with respect”. Only you can know for sure, but have you ever had consensual sex? Unlikely.

>>14659855
It’s a retarded saying. You probably get social anxiety just from picking up SSRIs at the pharmacy. I highly doubt you’re some kind of ruthless womanizer.

>>14658605
then you are a fool, for most men are flawed and will pillage you like treasure. Reserve your kindness for the few men worthy of it

>>14658605
hi, im triying to choose the same path, this very thought of yours has come to me some minutes before seeing your post.
this was because i been lately getting close to buddhism. i will recommend getting a closer approach to buddhism and see the teachings of the buddha and investigate as much as you can.

much love brother, i hope we get out of this hole of resntfullness and hate. much, much love.
success

>>14660038
soiboy or fat girl?

>>14658605
>I want to be a kinder person.
You're bipolar. You're borderline. You're splitting. You want forgiveness for yourself, not kindness to dispense on others. Tame your monstrous pride. This:

>>14658609

>>14658605
I think I know the secret of this: it's to have respect and confidence in YOURSELF. When you respect yourself, have good scruples, are polite as a matter of course...nothing anyone says to your can harm you, so you are very unlikely to react with anger or spite. You see people for what they are: crickets in an ice cream pail trying to make sense of reality and live a decent life.

You will learn to sympathize with people, understand them better, and that will make you treat them well.

>>14660216
>labeling normal human behavior as deviant and abnormal
Poor show. Shoo shoo pomo psych freak

>>14658605
Smoka (or eata) da ganja

>>14659963
thx :')

Oh, interesting anon, I may reply soon, wish you the best in your journey, remember that you are also important and your emotional health matters

>>14658605
Read the Daodejing and meditate for a start. My thinking is that all people have something of worth to contribute. Only met a couple who had no redeeming qualities, both were the ones who would say "good guys finish last"

>>14658605
Dude, get off the soi, get some exercise, read Kipling, Robert E. Howard, Chesterton, and the social commemary of Andrew Anglin.

>>14659893
Absolutely based Bjork rec

>>14658605
Realise why you want to insult people, even for trivial things. Try to get to the root of what you're acting out of, and what need you are not meeting for yourself.

E.g. >Insult someone for 'inferior taste' ;
>you want to be seen as valued, doing so through what you consume, and separating from the opposite of what you are now 'all about';
> Want to be acknowledged;
>want to be loved;
>want to belong.

(Sorry, that was probs extremely poorly done, may not even make sense) Pretty much, try and get to the root of why you do things, as much as you can.

Try being 100% honest to yourself, not to anyone else, but at least to yourself.
Maybe read Jung.

Also, meditation. Possibly focus on your heart and it visualise it radiating love outwards
>inb4 cringe and new-age

desu, this was probs terrible recs but I wanted to contribute.

The fact that you have the intention to be a kinder person is probably the biggest step anyway :)

Lotus Sutra talks about a stage in Buddha's reincarnations where he was the monk "Never Disparaging."

This was a STAGE.

When he became more assured, he was once again capable of schooling fools.

Becoming a kinder person definitely entails going through a STAGE of being nice to everyone, but know that you should eventually become Dynamically kind, which means challenging people again, from a better place.

>>14659866
Actual high IQ.

>>14658605
Lao Tzu

Become empty, any act of 'kindness' before this will be influenced by the ego and need for possession.

>>14658605
there’s so much love out there in this world, anon. It is just a matter of opening your mind to it. Our nervous system is hooked up to search for pleasure and avoid pain (our more advanced cortical structures determine whether current pleasure is worth delaying for greater future pleasure, current pain worth bearing for future freedom from pain). By giving out pleasure to others around you, in the form of kindness, companionship and meaningful human experience, you create a positive feedback loop in your own micro-universe. And over time this will have profound consequences on your social circles. Be good to yourself and to those around you. At times you will feel low again, this is inevitable. But once you get a taste of living fully and absorbing the moment, you will be drawn back to that state of mind. An addiction to living completely saturated by life, feeling both the joy and suffering of it in all its magnitude. Our time alive, perhaps ever and at least in this configuration of consciousness, is limited. Why not spend the remaining days you have here, as you, refining your consciousness, your mind and body, creating happiness as a byproduct for yourself and those around you? Some habits that helped me: meditate, journal, read widely. I wish you well on your journey.

>>14658609
And sitting down, he called the twelve, and saith to them: If any man desire to be first, he shall be the last of all, and the minister of all.

>>14658605
Be raised by parents who hate each other

>>14660328
there's nothing normal in wanting to be a literal cuck to be used by others. Being kind for loved ones? Sure. Strive for it. Chase it. Loved ones deserve to have a better you. Being kind for anyone else? Why? OP is going to be used and what he wants is to forgive. This is not normal, this is slave mentality. You have to attack and you have to defend yourself for your own good, this is always how life was. People who have more kindness for others than to themselves to the extent they reject any malicious action for the sake of themselves... never end up well.

>>14659812
Yeah, the guy sounds based