/lit/ - Literature

>>14545418
How the hell did you get the motivation to work on 7 books for 30 years without releasing any of them?

>>14545439

It started off as a hobby and something just that I had fun doing for myself. But now that I finally finished it, I figured I might as well publish them. So, really there was no need for motivation per se. I enjoyed it all.
But the main reason I didn't want to even publish them until the entire main series was complete is because I wanted to ensure the story was very well connected and had no broken references or major plot holes.

Why did you write bad literature when there are uncountable libraries of extant good literature?

>>14545702
>good literature

Define good literature. Also, can't you do both?

>>14545418
ok i read your little book

SO this is very poorly written. Not only that heres an excerpt not 10 pages in:

>“Sabrina!” he calls out in his dream. She begins to be able to slow her spin as Shawn gets closer. Shawn is surprised when he comes up to her and witnesses her spitting out semen from her mouth. The semen comes out in small amounts at first but starts to dramatically increase in volume over time, turning Sabrina into a cum sprinkler head protruding out of the grassy field to water the grass and flowers with his seed. Shawn’s eyes are of shock. In contrast, Sabrina’s eyes are virtually emotionless. Shawn’s sister falls to the ground, lying down in the flowers and grass. Shawn jumps down beside her and grabs her in his arms. “Sabrina!” Her eyes are closed. “Sabrina!” Shawn calls out again.

>Shawn suddenly wakes up in a flash. He sees himself in bed with Sabrina, in the guestroom bed, and outside it is still dark. He feels a wetness around his stomach area. Oh shit! He thinks as he pulls back the covers from both of them. Sabrina is still sleeping, but his thoughts are just as he feared. Sabrina is covered in his cum, and there is some around his cock as well.

>Somehow Shawn’s boxers had slipped down, too, during his sleeping and dreaming, thus leaving his cock out in the open. He had a wet dream while cuddling in sleep with his naked little sister. Shawn looks down to see his cum all over her stomach and even around the area between her legs. Oh shit! This is not good! He says to himself. However, his fear isn’t about her getting pregnant, as she is far too young, but that it happened at all. Oh, God.

>Shawn gets up and runs to the bathroom in the guestroom as fast but quietly as he can. He pulls out some tissue paper from the dispenser and first wipes off the cum on his own cock before getting another wad of tissues to take back to Sabrina

>>14545727
well? how was it?

>>14545788
r-r-really?

is that a real excerpt?

>>14545702
I think that creating new literature, whether good or bad, is an amazing thing to do. With every book literature gets bigger and bigger, and so I believe that at the very least this book expands literature just a tiny bit.

>>14545788
holy fucking shit

>>14545715
>define good literature
everything that this >>14545788 is not

>>14545821
You sound like the breed and stock of person who 30 years ago read playboy for the articles

>>14545821
>>14545815
>>14545715
>>14545418
OP, I respect your dedication and autism, but please tell me this >>14545788 is not representative of the entire book, my sides

>>14545788

Really you are supposed to start with Book 1, not the prelude books.
Anyway, I can admit to not having the best technical writing skills, but I feel I am a good storyteller. My execution is not the best obviously, but the entire story is very well planned out.
My only hope is that people will focus on what should be focused on, the actual story.
Either way, I like my story (obviously), but I am not looking to please everyone or even a majority for that matter. If even a few other people like the story that is good enough for me. Which maybe you disagree with the opinion but I have had people say it is good too.

>>14545849
you should make a tumblr blog and post chapters op.

>>14545849
>i have had people say it is good too
like your sister?

>>14545788
this is literal autism

>>14545878
you jest, but apparently sabrina is a real person.

>>14545836

>not representative of the entire book

Sure they are sex scenes, but it isn't a majority of the story. That anon is quoting from the 1st Prelude book, which every book says in the foreword that the prelude books are those that enjoyed the main 5 book series and want "more" or to learn the background of the main characters.
The two prelude books are more focused on sex and relationship stuff. However, the 5 main books are more about conspiracies, war, action scenes, etc.

>>14545894
imagine her reading this book

>>14545898
it would have been much wiser for the reader and your life to have put book 1 first and the preludes at the end, then.

>>14545788
>>14545825
>>14545833
>>14545882

Well, maybe it was a bad idea to post on /lit/, but usually adults are okay with sex scenes. Anyway, if you don't like it you don't have to read it. However, just cherry picking sex scenes isn't how the entire story goes.
If you really want a sense of the series, even though kind of jumping into the middle of it, try to read from Book 2.

>>14545788

>>14545929
if you're implying that your sex scene is "adult" and "mature" and even "well written," you are sorely mistaken my breh

>>14545922

I mean...the OP pic has the cover of the book with a number 1 by it, and as stated the foreword and book descriptions online state that Book 1 - Seed of an Orchid is where a reader is supposed to start.

>>14545898
i've skimmed through book one and LITERALLY every other chapter is a sex scene.
>chapter 17:

>>14545962
chapter 17:

>>14545962
I want to respect your opinion, but you somehow sent too early and I know you're a woman.

>>14545966
chapter 18:

>>14545977
chapter 19:

>>14545948

I even admitted my "technical skills" aren't that great in writing. But I didn't really expect people to giggle like school children was more my point.
However, I was/am curious about any and all reactions to my story and even if negative as stated. And it is people's free choice to criticize, so I am not really against that. But I am just trying to explain the "entire" story isn't just sex parts.
The whole series is over 2,700 pages and 700,000 words, so even if people post 100 pages of examples of sex scenes it really is a minority of the story.

>>14545966
>>14545977
>>14545982

>>14545982
and chapter 21 for fuck's sake:

>>14545992
If you think I'm reading one chapter of fanfic with "technical skills" that "aren't great," let alone 2700 pages, then I want whatever you're smoking

>>14545962

Skim through Book 2 and see if it is the same?

>>14546015
chapter 24:

please stop bullying the op, thank you

>>14546024
request absolutely denied

Holy shit

I thought that you guys were just being /lit/ and weren't giving this guy a fair chance with his book, with just one sex scene but holy shit this guy literally wrote an incest fuck saga.

>>14546023
and 25:
the weird thing is, the parts not about sex don't even have the main character in them. its just erotica with minor side character chapters every once in a while.

>>14546006
>>14546023
>>14546031
did this guy read the entire catalog of r/menwritingwomen as his sole research?

>>14546042
>woman
>redditor
You have to go back.

>>14546024

It is okay. If they don't like, they don't like.
I honestly don't care if a single person doesn't like it. I had fun writing it, and I would say the only really "objective" problem would be if I didn't like my own story.

a lot of jelly posters ITT op, good job on writing 2700 pages!

>>14546024
fuck OP and his degenerate garbage.
>>14546053
no motherfucker, you need Christ. you are going to burn in hell for writing this filth if you don't repent.

>>14546052
>>14546056
OP, you know it's over right? you can stop samefagging / larping as a valued 4chan customer now. we can see the poster count

>>14545418
You spent decades writing a saga that literally reads like the smut I wrote in school. Fucking hell man, at least when I did that I didn't fucking publish it or pretend it's anything more than porn. You published your incest porn diaries. You fucking idiot.

>>14546060
>you need Christ.

>believes in a fictional character in 2020
kek

>>14546064
I'm not OP, I just hate redditors, and have a very mild dislike of women who post here.

>>14545966
This is good. I hope he calls the Israelis dirty kikes at some point

How old where you when you started writing this?

>>14546060
>Mr. Torraunt graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in English Literature. The specific focus of studies was on Shakespeare's works.
>"Damn my little sister is fucking hot."
>she starts to breathe heavily as she moves up and down his cock
>"you're so fucking tight and wet"

>>14546064

>>14546081
The greatest shitpost you've never read

>>14546076
I was 8. My sister was 5 and one day she started playing with my private parts with her little fingers. It made me excited in a way I hadn't felt before, honestly that was the inspiration for this book. It's one extended (no pun intended) dedication to her and my lifelong "unconquered" (haha) feelings for her. The title was meant to be an homage to how she lights up my world.

LINKS LINKS LINKS

>>14546104
this can't be op

>>14546104
no. what in the fuck? d-does she know about this "homage?"

>>14546110
Why would I want to engage in more autism?

>>14546114
sabrina is definitely real. see also>>14545894

>>14546114
It is in fact me. I'd appreciate it if you took this seriously, thanks.

>>14546104

Actually, I never had a sister. "Normal" relationships have been done one million times in stories, so I wanted to do something different. Also, one of my desires was to write about stuff everyone else seems "afraid" to write about.

>>14546130
Please stop pretending to be me, and spreading disinformation about my project.

>>14546133
>>14546130
is she real or not? post a pic for proof.

>>14546081
>>14546104
>>14546110
>>14546114
>>14546123
>>14546125
>>14546130
>>14546133
>>14546143

I don't know what or who to believe. What I do know is that regardless, if those links aren't pseudonymous or this isn't a hoax designed to discredit someone irl...
this is the second thread in a fucking week to involve some supremely autistic anon on /lit/ ruining their own lives, the first one being, of course, that thread where anon asked how to ask out a coworker and then got doxxed by the coworker, lily at the New Museum, who happened to be a /lit/fag. Why does this happen so often? Why /lit/? I have never seen this happen on /fit/, what the fuck?

OP, you have to understand that shilling your incest erotica here is only going to attract ridicule. Good on you for doing what you enjoy and writing 3k pages of literature, but nobody here wants to read it. Think of it like pic related; sure, OP being into vore is fine and he kind of had a point, but he didn't need to share his shit in the middle of an irrelevant thread.

>>14546151
>that thread where anon asked how to ask out a coworker and then got doxxed by the coworker, lily at the New Museum, who happened to be a /lit/fag
link to the archive?

>>14546151
please for the love of god give me that link to the doxxing

>>14545788
I'm an autistic 22 year old scat fetishist who writes more alluring ERPs than what looks to be fettered throughout this entire "series" you've shat out.

Grand fucking job, OP.

>>14546151
i remeber on /r9k/ maybe a year and a half ago some anon was bragging about fucking hsi sister and getting ehr preganant and ended up doxxing himself accidentally. whether or not he was trying to frame a guy or not, the baby looked like the brother.

via the discord server

>>14546163
>>14546171
doxxing isn't technically the correct term since the identity of OP is unknown but he is one of like 8 dudes who were in a union pic; it might've been deleted for being off topic, let me see if I can get it, keyword would be "brehs" in an OP or maybe "ask her out" in an OP

>>14546163
>>14546171
>>14546176
>>14546191
got a functioning link, someone ought to screencap it and get all the images i guess.
>>14501666

>inb4 no brehs
>inb4 no ask her out
shut the fuck up

>>14546196
i remeber that thread. damn, should've stayed in it

>>14546196
you're the real fuckin mvp

>>14546196
well that was interesting.

>>14545418
I actually like that you had the commitment to make 7 books
Haven't read them but /lit/ will shit on anything anyway, the main point is that you finished it and it's a story you wanted to tell
I'll give it a read just because I'm curious

>>14546151

I have only been to /lit/ maybe a couple of times, so I really don't know what that incident is about or really care.

And I mean, of course, people are free to assume whatever they want, but my story has one minor character close to a person I knew IRL. The rest of the characters are completely made up. They may share names that I like from real people, but that is all they share.

This looks interesting.

Writing is laughably bad. MC is like a caricature. The edgy 'genius' shōnen anime protagonist with questionable morals, an 'ends justify the means' type (Lelouch, Light, etc). Obviously you spend a hell of a lot more time watching anime than you do reading books. This really comes across in the harem of women the mc seems to have who are desparate to fuck him, one of them so much so that she attempts suicide after being turned down for a quick fuck(?). Terribly written self insert smut with your (imaginary?) sister and co aside, everything I read seemed to have a terrible lack of awareness/research. For example, someone identified shell casings and attributed them instantly to specific firearms despite two of the firearms mentioned using the same 5.56 NATO rounds. I scrolled down again and read something about Islamic countries mobilising their forces to attack Israel (presumably part of our protagonist's master plan) and the geopolitics was just absurd. Lebanon is nearly as christian as it is muslim by the way — no mention of Iran. Suicide bombers seemingly listed as part of various Islamic countries regular armies, bizarre. I could go on but I can't really be bothered, I'm sure every single chapter is packed with the same ridiculousness. Are there any female characters bellow the age of 30? Do any female characters serve as anything but willing onaholes for the protagonist? As someone who is obviously a virgin, you should try to write far less sex than you do. A black trenchcoat and a 'hat', really?

All of that asides, you have the guts and drive to actually write something and put it out out there. That's more than pretty much anyone here can say for themselves, so I suppose that's admirable. This is probably the absolute worst place you could have gone for feedback. Best of luck.

>>14546432
above the age of 30*

>>14546031
>"You had sex with your sister again, huh?"
hot. more books for this feel?

>>14545418
It reads like a comic book, which isn’t a bad thing at all. You should probably look into that instead of literature, as your writing is absolutely shit.

>>14546432
>For example, someone identified shell casings and attributed them instantly to specific firearms despite two of the firearms mentioned using the same 5.56 NATO rounds.

Fair enough. I presume you mean the mentioning of the M-16 and M-4 casings?
Outside of /k/ most people won't even know that though. But believe it or not, I was actually in the military as 11B no less. Still I can't get everything perfect or be an expert on everything. However, other parts do demonstrate I have a lot of background and detail in, for example whenever Air Force related stuff comes up.

>read something about Islamic countries mobilising their forces to attack Israel (presumably part of our protagonist's master plan) and the geopolitics was just absurd. Lebanon is nearly as christian as it is muslim by the way — no mention of Iran. Suicide bombers seemingly listed as part of various Islamic countries regular armies, bizarre.

The story is an alternate history Book 1 taking place in 2004 if I remember correctly. But the countries surrounded by Israel have been wanting to destroy that country for decades. It most certainly has been a real fear of that area forever even if it isn't actually plausible. But this is fiction. I want to explore that impossible and "scary" option.

>A black trenchcoat and a 'hat', really?
I mean 30 years in the making, believe it or not. I had that look before it became a meme.

>>14546493

I can honestly agree with that. Ideally I wish my story could have been done in the film medium, but besides the content itself, having that kind of money is a bigger stretch than writing for free.

No one can convince me this isn't a massive troll

Writing 7 books over 30 years just to troll ? your just going lalalalalala now .

>>14546505
You know what, fair enough actually. I probably came across as unnecessarily critical/rude in my post. I'm sure the overall plot is somewhat entertaining. The problem is really the prose. Prose is what you're going to have to use to share your world with people if you're writing a novel. If you can't share your vision effectively, people won't see it. You need to be careful with what you write and how much of it you write. The books you'll find people discussing on this board are generally masterpieces of the medium. The vast majority of professionally published novels would be met with derision here, so bare that in mind when it comes to the responses you got. If you wrote it for yourself, you don't care what anyone thinks of it, and you just wanted to share it, I'd say that's pretty based. If you want other people to read it, honestly you're gonna need to do a massive amount of work. Think about what other people would be thinking when they read what you write. You mentioned Herbert in your OP, observe his style. How he describe things? What does he describe? As I said, I genuinely admire your courage to actually put something out there, I've never shared a single page of anything I've written with anyone because I'm so frightened of criticism.

>>14545418
absolute STATE of /lit/ - Literature

OP is a faggot but a very dedicated faggot, and on some level I can respect that. It's not even totally unreadable like these usually are.

>>14545929
>sex scene
>cum sprinkler

>>14546505
>I was actually in the military
so these are the mental effects of crayon consumption

>>14545788
>The semen comes out in small amounts at first but starts to dramatically increase in volume over time, turning Sabrina into a cum sprinkler head protruding out of the grassy field

>>14545894
>>14546123

Of course, it is a real person, but how does that automatically mean the character name in a fictional novel is literally the same person? I am honestly kind of baffled by this "conclusion" that apparently people are making.
In the dedication there are 2 "Sabrina" listed, and the note at the end specifically says they are two different people. So, which one is "supposedly" my "real sister" or which one is being copied and pasted into my story?

Anyway, I will try to make it more clear:
1) Neither Sabrina listed in the dedication is a sister to me nor have I ever even had a sister.
2) Characters share names with people I knew, but all the characters do not share the same personalities as well
3) Every character in my series, which given its size has well over 100 characters, is completely made up out of my imagination
4) One exception to this a minor character that appears in about 4 chapters in two different books. Even then, the character is loosely based on the real person I knew, and also her name is not Sabrina

I will try to explain it one other way, and even though it might sound a little pretentious, it is honestly how I feel and think of things:
For me there is a kind of "aesthetics" to names both in terms of sound and spelling. Naturally, I am going to use character names that I "like the sound" of. Sure, some names gained a "bias" due to an actual real life person/relationship, but again this does not mean I copied the person itself into the character or even that they represent the person.
One final example I can give so that things are kind of understandable (hopefully): Also in the dedication is someone named "Tamara." This person was very special to me, but since I don't like the aesthetics of neither the sound nor spelling, I never used the name even once for the entire series. And, even though never used, no characters in the story even with a different name are representative or share the personality of the real person I knew as "Tamara".

>>14548003
You sound like you really really want to fuck either or both of the two Sabrinas. I'm going to ask every Sabrina I meet if she's heard of your book.

>>14548063
>You sound like you really really want to fuck either or both of the two Sabrinas

As I described in my wall of text, it is more that I am "in love with" or "want to fuck" (as you put it) the literal name.

>I'm going to ask every Sabrina I meet if she's heard of your book.
Well, thanks for the free advertising/shilling...I guess?

>>14545418
you made a mistake by posting your books gere

>>14545788
OP post this on >>>/tv/ and you will be king. OP like cast this scene then greentext it

>>14548063

>Hey are you that Sabrina who was the cum sprinkler in that book?

Can we make this a new standard pick up artist line?