/lit/ - Literature

>>14431262
"Bruh, lemme tell you."

>>14431262
In west Philadelphia born and raised in the playground was here I spent most of my days

>>14431262
It was all a dream in another reality by my alter ego, funny that!

>>14431262
"The year is 2XXX"

the worst opening sentence.

*skrrrrrrrrt* Yeah, that's me, I bet you're wondering how I got here.

>>14431262
“I don’t like sand”

The morning sun shown like a spotlight on the somnambulant world underneath its gaze, and there I was, making love to you like a hungry bird on the veranda watching the world reveal itself in all its splendor.

The dim glow of the lamp lit up the top of my cancer-ridden father's thinning scalp making him look not too dissimilar to that character from the Lord of the Rings whose name I can't seem to recall as I lay writing this naked in the tub reminiscing about my now deceased progenitor.

Only one enemy remained, two if you count God.

>Call me Ishmael

A cumming screams across the sky of your beautiful round ass, my darling.

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.

A screaming comes across the sky.

Pornographically, the cranes flew westward.

>>14431269
Camus BTFO

Seven dwarves were marching down my street, one of them holding a birthday cake, and I didn't know why.

They call me Max Cross III, but my friends call me Maximus.

I was carrying Catcher in the Rye while she, coming from the other direction, was carrying the Bell Jar; in retrospect I should have known this wasn't going to work out.

This is the story of a woman.

As I finished masturbating to the images of Kristen Stewart's feet on my phone I felt a deep sense of remorse because I accidentally came on my mother's funeral dress which she had laid out that morning for my baby brother's funeral.

John Burke wasn't a very well liked man, in fact if you were to ask around you'd get unsurety of his manhood at all... And that's where this story begins, with John Burke, 43, accountant, transvestite, avid reader of Vanity Fair... Things are about to change for John Westley Burke, for the worse.

I awoke in a grassy field.

I was feeling peckish so I went down to the gas station and purchased a hot dog from the judgmental Indian man who worked behind the counter and always called me boss even though he knew my name was Steve.

wtf im a cockroach????

>>14431456
based

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

She was the most beautiful girl in my American History class and she had just shit her pants while giving a speech about J. Edgar Hoover.

The night was moist.

>>14431262
Mother died today

>>14431383
>call Israel

It was a dark and stormy night.

Bang!
Remember being recommended to start with a sound in burger elementary school lmao

>>14431262
riverrun, past Adam and Eve's

>>14431435
wow i thought anthony burgess was dead

Oh boy! What part of 'not-getting-into-life-threatening-peril for once in your life you didn't get, mick?' Said I to myself as I ran away from a horde of mechanical death scorpions.

Sky was black like nigger cock soaked in peanut butter...

"The Jews are to blame from this," muttered the genius.

*record scratch*

>Humanity: noun, and everything I loathe in this fucked world.

>>14431654
would unironically read

*CRASH*

>>14431404
kek, I like this one.

>>14431262
Suddenly

>>14431654
"It's all a coincidence goyim", and the Americans clapped.

Slowly, my mouth grew agape as my wife’s Nubian steed entered her like a drill forcing its way to the centre of the earth, its core being the pleasure I never managed to give her with my white Swedish pecker; for the first time in years, I was happy.

>>14431902
Roflmao

>>14431435
Did he wear his shoes before dying?

>>14431435
Some advice: restructure the sentence to delay as long as possible the fullest delivery of the total punchline. By specifying "funeral dress" we know as we approach the end that "my baby brother's" is probably going to lead into funeral; instead, consider ambiguously specifying the dress to be black, "my mother's black dress" in retrospect obviously referring to funeral garb but in the initial reading still leaving the reader hanging (e.g. "Is this an incest joke?"). Then in the final delivery I recommend inverting your specifiers, so rather than "for my baby brother's funeral," try "for the funeral of my baby brother," which not only further defers the delivery and extends the comic suspense with a few more syllables, a few more moments, but also leaves the detail of the baby brother last—a funeral in general in this situation (masturbating etc.) is not quite so dark as a funeral for one's baby brother.

>>14432174
this guy wins

>>14431262
"Niggers" yelled Thomas

Its already been done by the 2019 Hugo winner.

>>14432251
mama mia

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo

>>14432251
teaching women language was a mistake

>>14432174
If I did that then it wouldn't be the worst opening sentence

I cummed into her sloppy pussy for the first time since March.

>>14431269
crazy how close it is to the best opening line.

"It's the niggers." I proclaimed to my mortified family over Christmas dinner; Uncle Jim was the only one who seemed to nod in approval. The rest layb silent with their mouths agape, not wholly dissimilar to the anus of the trap I have finished to in bathroom 20 minutes ago between the first and second course. I recused myself after my Aunt had begun complaining about Trump, and I proclaimed loudly how my ass was about part like the red sea if I didn't excuse myself. I knew it would come to this, and that's why, I rationalized, that this was Aunt Carol's fault.

After my extended family fled the table I and Uncle Jim were alone. Between the screams and cries that echoed from the kitchen and reverberated between the china set in the hutch, he suddenly turned to me and said "Niggers tongue my anus. Shoop da whoop and a shoe on head, amirite?"
He licked his lips in anticipation.
I elected not to respond to his disgusting display of oldfaggotry, but instead gave him a belated and onstesible am, though I imagine it looked more like the vestigaes of my fap and shit leaking into my hands, mixing together in holy matrimony. Somewhere upstairs- quietly- my mother sobbed.

>>14431262
Much like the country between Nigeria and Sudan, his name was Chad.

>>14431262
I always knew I was special.

I’m dedicating this story, which is just about a girl (named Jennifer and aged 19 like me!!) to my mom, love you!!!

Life is like a box of chocolates, y'know it's confusing!!

>>14431281
kek

I was watching Pornhub with mummy on the couch when some hardcore gay shit popped up: I was embarrassed about getting a boner until I looked over and saw she had one too.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

>>14431697
youre probably wondering how i got here

“I hate niggers”, Princess Rapunzel proclaimed happily to the waiting audience of children.

I groaned as the alarm cut through the peaceful silence of the morning. It was the first day of 8th grade, and I wasn’t ready.

It was Friday the 13th, the night before Halloween

The clocks struck 12+1

>>14431381
kek, never gets old

>>14433154
"This Friday the 13th will be a Halloween night they'll never forget" he whispered to himself.

It began like any other day: December 28th 2019.

>>14431262
the man in black ran, and the gunslinger followed

>>14431381
that's actually pretty based though

"The bullied becomes the bully." Scyther laughed out loud as he loaded another clip into his Assault Rifle 15.

>>14431262
Ayo its ya boi back again with another story for ya'll

>>14433595
That's how I will start my journaling from now on.

Holy....I want more.....

>>14432089
Hemmmingway BTFO using immanent critique

>>14431569
Same actually. Never in my life have I seen an author actually do it though, or at least one that was good enough to remember

ALL THINGS ARE NOTHING TO ME

What is not supposed to be my concern!

HAVE

>>14432888
fuarck sounds like a great book

>>14433154
How can the 13th be the night before the 31st?

>>14432251
Jesus Christ could it be more trite?

AGAIN!

It all began at the only place it could possibly begin, the beginning.

>>14431381
Holy... I want more

>>14433672
"A screaming came across the sky."

>>14431262
> I sing of arms and man

>>14431262
I am aware that I am in this room

>>14431472
Holy....i want more...

>"this is my story"

>>14432251
And yet people act like men are the ones who are terrible about writing about sex

>>14431383
Obvious bait as that’s one of the best, even melville’s first three words are thematically important

>>14432888
based trips

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins.

>>14431426
Cringed hard at this

It was 5:00 AM on November 9, 2016, and I had just awoken and opened up the CNNgo app, which I have a subscription to. As the headline scrolled across my eyes, I became sick to my stomach. All my hard work with Shareblue had gone to waste.

According to Freud, every man wants to kill his father and have sex with his mother. But I was the only one dumb enough to try it.

>>14431262
>Write the worst opening sentence.
I want to shitpost. Books for this feel?

>>14434173
Yeah but imagine Pynchon writing "SCREEEEEEEECH" instead as his first word. That's the level of education we were on, just pure onomatopoeia

>>14434415
I would keep reading

The end

>>14434568
actually based
>>14432273
I never read past this but I like the way it sounds for some reason,.

>>14432174
Pretty based.
>>14432297
Very based.

>>14433615
I'd read it. Which means it's not bad.
You and others in the thread need to be careful about crossing the line into "so bad it's good" territory.

>>14431262
Hello, it's me - the author

"That was the one thing you couldn't get used to in the slave foundry."

Unironically I'm using this. How bad is it?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

>>14431608
This is the clear winner.

>>14431262
I watched my cat gracefully descend into the coveted nap, wishing I could join her. My father called for me from the TV room, and I helplessly obliged, longing to become like the careless pet. Ugh, humans.

>>14432275
aren't you a woman though?

>>14434870
It's a troll, but I guess tripfags do lack the cognitive ability to understand anything, after all.

Standing over the lifeless body, he pulled out a cigarette and his fidget spinner

>>14434980
not bad

>>14432174
>based

>>14432871
Write the rest of it and I'll read it.

"Alalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala" was the sound my flapping tongue made as I rubbed my nip nips.

>>14432251
This is the writing style of a middle schooler, Jesus. And this won an award?

"And here I was..."

>>14431264
This could be hilarious though depending on the contents of the rest of the book

>>14431522
this one is gud fuck you

>>14434648
Pretty bad. If you actually lived in a slave foundry you wouldn't joke around like that. Maybe to a really close friend, and if this is the case it should be obvious that it's painful to say. It's also a very feminine line, so I hope it isn't from a male character.

>Hello

I am what you call a memelord

>>14431262
If I recall correctly, AIDS in human form came from one guy screwing a monkey, and then having sex with other men.

Pika?

>>14435156
>It's also a very feminine line, so I hope it isn't from a male character.
I'm interested. How is "That was the one thing you couldn't get used to in a slave foundry." Feminine? Seems pretty neutral to me.

>>14432251
Absolute state of women.

>>14435286
actually, aids was created by direct divine intervention by god to punish faggots for their sins
the earth is a big spiritual battlefield, sometimes good gets the upper hand (god creates AIDS, millions of homos die) and sometimes evil does (man creates treatment for AIDS)

>>14435402
finally, the mothly menace has been toppled

>>14435346
I read it and I thought "this is something a woman would say." I cannot imagine a man naturally saying it.

>>14435778
I should elaborate on this more. The point of the line is apparently to make a little wisecrack. However the intention is to generate sympathy by bringing up her awful experience in a slave foundry, while also suggesting she was still very stoic by saying she managed to get used to everything (except one thing, which I assume is really something minor like the smell of blood). Men wouldn't typically use such subtleties to get sympathy and admiration.

>>14432275
It would be kind of cute if they had to grunt and gesture to get the things they wanted

Once upon a time a long time ago, white peoples across the world nuked all brown people out of existence with the guiding hand of Jesus Christ, who was a white Nordic man

>>14435782
You sound like an Incel. I think you should have sex.

>>14431262
"Sneed."

>>14435836
Very feminine comment.

>>14431262
Tell me about a complicated man.

>>14434415
based

>>14434415
He said '"worst"

"time to hit the mall girls!"

>>14431381
Every time.

The young, black, trans woman's cavernous vagina let out another bloody, rasping yawn

>>14431608
The best of the worst

>>14436020
Most disgusting, you could write the next Cows.

>>14434415
would read

"Harro Armerica," said Chonky Chuck Chang as they woke up from a dream with mom telling him it was time to go to school; just as a rumbling in his belly bellowed, followed by a foul stinky shit that pissed out of his ass and into her mouth. He had no idea why she was sucking him off - she was his mother after all - nor did he know how the shit went into her mouth. Most baffling of all things was that she ate some of the chunks and corn the way a child licks the ice cream leftovers from their plate or like how a dog eats the peanut butter off your dick when you put it there. But alas that too was just a dream. He was actually cumming inside his father right now. He was a Jedi and the last of his kind, a white man ready to take back asia. And her name was Darshmael Thong Xerwald. She was a warrior princess who was born with the curse of having all the powers and none of the respect. She had a secret fetish for people eating poo and sisters fucking their brothers and alas no one shared that interest with her. She was truly alone with no tears or fucks to give. But that would all change now that an squiggledee worm had flown into her room to deliver a letter from the headmistress of Hothborks Academy For Special Mary Sues.

>>14431426
Terrible.

>>14431262
I don't even know where to start.

>>14436288
best one

>>14431262
my girlfriend and i got married the same year i completed my phd; she was pregnant with our first child at the time.

Stepping out of the hotels cool, brick interior into the hellish heat of a Helvetian summer in half gear will get your heart pumping.

>haha this isn't the first line of my novel or anything.

"The world is my representation."

Shot dead with a colt-44 isn’t how I imagined death to find me, but it was evident to me as I float above my bleeding corpse and to the man abreast of it with a gun still smoldering that that was the death I was to die.

>>14436315
not good

>>14436288
lmao

>>14436315
Doesn't going from cold to hot air temperature slow your heart beat and other bodily processes?

>>14433606
kill yourself

>>14431381
If a stream-of-consciousness farce followed, it would be one of the best.

>>14431262
ja poopy la booby ay allons-y

There's nothing in life that can prepare you for the moment you walk in your mom getting throat-fucked by the boyfriend you didn't even know she had. Maybe cancer is worse, but not by much.

>>14436962
Kill yourself

"No, you don't get to marry me ever."

"It's love that gives us the strength to overcome adversity, not hate." Miranda Frostnight calmly shouted to her army.

"In fact, being a caterpillar is not any different from being a sexually frustrated young male approaching his twenties."

>>14434279
Women consider that kind of writing good and they consider writing that only men do bad, because they don't understand it, being women. It's that simple.

>>14436315
Too many prepositional phrases. “Will get” is a phrase for travel brochures; “gets your heart pumping” is concrete and unambiguous. “Hellish heat” and “summer” are redundant and can be combined into “hellish Helvetian summer heat”. The heat can be explained further in the paragraph, assuming it is important. The largest problem is too many unknowns being introduced: Helvetian summers, the reasons for heart pumping, and what comes with half gear.

The tiger was put in the cage and he was never getting out.

>>14436233
This was good until “special mary sues”. Why not Hothbork’s School of Fuck or something more in tone?

>>14431404
These are supposed to be bad.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

>>14437438
NO

>>14431262
In the beginning

>>14431262
A; legume, nut, bean - the end; tiger, salami, sex xylophone; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; period!

>>14438040

In the beningin

>>14438100
This is a 'worst opening sentence' thread, not a 'literal best possible opening sentence that must be used by every author reading this because it singlehandedly axiomatizes utility and creates the best possible reaction in every brain' thread.

Jeez, now I'm going to have to think up a way to fit 'A; legume, nut, bean - the end; tiger, salami, sex xylophone; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; period!' into my story... thanks for the idea!

You (the reader) are such a dumb fuck for reading this book

>>14431262
As Anon awoke one morning from cooming all night he found himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous wojak.

>>14438109
You've invoked a spontaneous hearty laugh from me.

>>14431383
Name even one book like this

>>14438580
Big Dick Moby

>>14431262
For breakfast, I had a bowl of oatmeal

>>14434301
>>14436272
so does that mean i won or what

>>14431841
I drove the car into a tree, breaking my arm and also killing my wife?

Ehh... Oh shit i'm dead!

Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

>>14431262
It was the breast of times, it was the wurst of times.

"Huh? You do realize it's not heterosexual if it's with your mom, right?" the teacher, already shirtless and jiggling his breast implants, said to Suzy, front row, blonde, grade six, face beginning to fall as she realized that this sex ed class would not be what she expected.

>>14439641
I dunno, I think I'd read that book

I slinked down the alley with my right hand in my sweatpants.

>definitely not the opening line of my short story

My name is Sakura Smith and today I met this TOTAL hottie who made my chest go all doki doki like OMG OMG >///<.

>>14439641
I don't get it.

"I was raped last year by a frat boy", I told my Psych 02 class for class introductions and a shameful secret.

A screaming comes across the sky.

"Why the FUCK would you have sex with him?"

>>14431262
*hahuh* UWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Anal sex obliterated Anastasia's ass most day's of the week, except this time, it broke her legs.

>>14439804
Sphincter*

>>14439804
god damn, I would read this

>>14431262
Maybe the real jihad was the friends we made along the way.

>>14438685
Your prize; please, feel free to save it.

>>14431262
penelope guenevire satsuma raven darkness way woke up and looked in the mirror at her shimmering golden black locks of spider like hair crawling across the ravaged bed while her record player, which was magically enchanted, turned over and put on my chemical romance, which is the best band ever.

The worst opening sentence would probably just be some kind of huge pointless run on sentence that forces you to lose any kind of interest right away and sets you up to miss important retails that would would otherwise pick up on every single time.

>>14432251
>caring about (((awards))) in current year
it's a handout to a buddy or a progressivist for virtue signalling, always. ignore the monster and it loses its power.

you could map modern academic accredidation inversely to the merit of any book. it's an anti-guide.

And then I asked her, "have you read Plato? he writes about some really neat stuff on love. Wanna hang after class?" I could see the slime slinking down the sides of her short running shorts. "Yes."

>>14431262
The worst opening sentence implies there is a best opening sentence and I don't believe that is possible because you can't even imagine what it would sound like and even if you could then you have to take the opposite of it and how do you opposite words?

Write a novel about a 12 year old boy that wants to fuck a grown woman

>>14440333
>>14440358
meant to quote

>>14440358

Potential comedy gold lol. Imagine the kid blackmailing him into doing it.

>>14440358
this but the women is his mom

only one enemy remained, two If you counted God

The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose in the Mountains of Mist. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time. But it was a beginning.

>>14431381
but thats kino

"It's been a couple of hours since the doctors declared dead. Well... not dead per say, just brain dead. My daughter is pretty chocked up about it but my disappointment of a son seems more concerned about his fortnite score then my life as a vegetable now"

>>14440358
>>14440384

Lol I thought it said man, that'd be even funnier desu

post the one about pancakes and golden retrievers.

I fucked my mom today, or maybe yesterday.

>>14431262
I came rivers of hot semen on my own toes again, the seagulls looked at me with salty pity.

"WELL, PIOTR, not in sight yet?" was the question asked on May the 20th, 1859, by a gentleman of a little over forty, in a dusty coat and checked trousers, who came out without his hat onto the low steps of the posting station at S------.

As always happened at two o'clock, Fitzgerald walked through the door of les Deux Magots yelling loudly "I HATE NIGGERS AND WOMEN"

>>14431381
Lmao

>>14438660
Have there been any porn parodies of Moby dick? I'm genuinely curious.

>>14433601
Fuck you I liked those books

>>14436962
No one remained, one if you count God.

>>14440452
People who write "per say" deserve the gallows.

So I learned to write from the literature section of a Navajo wind talking forum

>>14440729
People that blink deserve to be executed with a rusty nail

>>14440905
I dont blink, I simply wink with both eyes

>>14440729
People who write "People who write "[blank']" deserve the gallows." deserve the gas chamber.

>>14431262
>the cow bellowed gratingly as the elephant's prodigious manhood...

So there I was; face to face with destiny

>>14432174
Based as fuck anon, is there somewhere you can read about stuff like this? i.e comedic suspense and shit?

>>14441110
Pretty sure I learned this at least once per grade level in public school (America)?

>>14441312
Never learned this at all from what I remember in American public school.

>a spectre is haunting Europe

I woke up this morning on the 4th of July as I heard automatic gunfire and hollering outside my window so I prepared my breakfast which consisted of microwaved shoes, extra fried bacon and a foreskin milkshake kindly provided to me by my doctor, all of which I easily guzzled down and when it was all over I whispered to myself "God damn i love being an American patriot"

>>14432823
you dropped this

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo.

First of all, I'd like to thank you for buying my book, it's my first so I'll try to make it worth the shekels

As a white male,

>>14431383
He surfife?

I had had to explain that that that that that that preceded had had to go.

poo fart pee pee

I can has cheeseburger? said the cat

>>14432355
It's a trope friendo.

>>14440315
>hyugoe
>academic

>>14431262
A frozen breeze blew through the cold, dark night, scattering puffs of snow across the icy, shadowy streets.

>>14431569
Looking back, I'm mystified by my middle-age female high school English teachers' obsession with representing sounds in text. All of them creamed over tic-toc-tic-tocs and briiiiiiings! and creeeeeks in italics. Wtf do they read? Is this shit in fiction marketed to frumpy women? YA novels? Even as a kid I found it cringy

>>14433672
>>14431569
Do you forget the classic?
>Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

>>14431654
No non fiction please anon.

>>14431262
By the time you’re reading this, I will be dead.

Heh, never expected to get killed by a runaway lawnmower.

Although my story begins in the dusty shade of the Old Country, my future will take us to places anew: The gentle willows of the Southern plantation house, the delicate whimsy of her bedroom, the exotic stalls of India, and, should we have the time, the place in which Adolf Hitler’s suicide was staged by a crew of amateur Finnish photographers and one particular fat Spaniard.

On the day the stars fell down to the earth, Jane decided to go for a walk.

Hey you! Yes you, reader! Am I getting through to you?! Are you ready for the CRAZIEST adventure you’ll ever read? Well, strap in, grab some popcorn, and get ready for this WILD roller coaster ride!

>>14443802
LETS just JUMP RIGHT INTO IT

>>14431456
ummmmmmmmmmmm

a Rolly Polly, you Uneducated Nigger