/lit/ - Literature

There you have

Write the cringiest thing you possibly can.

Warning: If you lay it on too thick and without finesse, it will become less cringe, because it will look less authentic

>>14410550
Kek

>Only one enemy remained; two, if you counted God.

>>14410953
lmao

>>14410953
kek

Rape prevents virginity.
Non-virginity prevents shame.
Shamelessness prevents self-conversion of life-status to death-status.

>>14410968
You just won the internet.

>>14410543
This thread is so fucking toxic. How can writing objectively be cringe? Just let people like what they like.

>>14410543
Trannies are real women

>>14410953
fuck, that's what I was going to post

>>14411783
Giga cringe. Nice job.

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

>>14410548
This isn't the masterpiece thread and you didn't write this.

>>14410953
based

Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger!!

>>14410953
what's this from ?

>>14410543
That man grabbed my left nipple and he wrung it dry. I squealed in pain as my manjuice squelched out and dribbled down by belly. Why was he doing this? I could hardly muster the energy to ask. Each moment felt like a lifetime.
"I apologize but you just posted cringe sir. These are the rules."
He palmed my right breast and reached for my nipple. The cold of his leather glove slowly overtook me as he slithered over to my right nipple. He rubbed it gently and then squeezed tight as he began milking me. I let out a feral scream and my body undulated in a spasmatic rhythm. I gathered the last of my life force and rallied forth a final plea.
"I-It was just an ironic shitpost. I-I posted cringe but it was ironic cringe so it wasn't really cringe. P-Please stop, I beg you. I yield.
The man paid me no mind and continued to milk my tender breasts raw. The pain overtook me and soon it faded to the periphery. A single hazy thought occupied my mind. I had posted cringe. I had posted cringe.

We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children

>>14411950
my diary desu

>>14410543
I think rick and morty is a good representation of 4chan

Morty: The zoomer fags that are on every board and ruin it with their garbage taste and that dont understand anything about the board culture like patrick bateman

Rick: All the old fags that have totally lost faith in humanity but that have been around the block enough

summer :the few femanon that lurk just trying to fit in and get attention but that usually leave the site too insulted

Jerry: all the reddit cringe that plague this site

Mr. Poopybuthole: /b/

The citadel of ricks: the mass capitalization of 4chan culture

>>14411800
Holy...I want more....

>>14410543
I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.

I suck cock.
- OP

The thread annuals authenticity by its format. Like spoiling a surprise. We all already know or at least think every post is insincere since that's what the OP asks. The only way to be cringe is to be ignorant of 4chan culture and write with spaced paragraphs and etc,. But that's just accidental cringe.

>>14410543
https://pastebin.com/raw/1SErVemy

>>14411991
I was going to write the same exact thing.

>>14412042
Dis iz true doe

>>14411950
just a random reddit post

>>14411950
A reddit thread called something like "write a one sentence intro to your book that hooks the reader" and this was the most upvoted comment.

Kashira the fox-lady watched the throbbing erection of the alpha-wolf penis extending in front of her. She was becoming increasingly moist at the thought of becoming the breeding-bitch of this sex-machine. She was gasping for him to impregnate her.

So we're not meant to like JK Rowling now right?

>>14412247
fuck anyone who isn't catholic

>>14411950
one of the books in the Dark Tower series

What's up /lit/, /mu/+/fa/ here. Recommend me some books to read at my parents place this Christmas since I'll have nothing else to do. For reference, I'm 18 and among my favorite music is stuff like Animal Collective, Blank Banshee, Prince, and Bach. I identify with dark academia, and my outlook on life has been influenced alot by my readings in stoicism and the writings of Hemingway (I know I know, high school tier) and Cioran. I know I'm pretty young but to be honest I'm pretty set in my philosophical beliefs (but I guess I'm open to adding to them). I've been interested in accelerationism lately.

So that's me. Any recommendations? Please no cringecore recs like muh Neechee, and no "redpill" nonsense. I was thinking more like Rimbaud and Valéry maybe? I am curious about becoming a decadent.

>>14412462
I cringed

>>14410953
nice. Actually needed to catch my breath from the cringe.

>>14410543
You smoke like a chimney dude are you not afraid of cancer?
There is one thing I am afraid of my boyo...You know what's it called?
What?
Nothing...

>>14410543
Black people are noobs at being white

>>14412462
>and Bach
Absolutely halal

I dreamed last night that my father raped me after a hard day at work. Woke up glad it wasn't just a dream, but rather a beautiful memory in which I'll rejoice for the rest of my days, even the non valuable ones, the ones which he won't be around to carress my butthole when I'm lonely and make me cum sandwiches when I'm hungry for cock.

>>14410543
Hey /lit/ I'm looking for advice om writing my fantasy novel. I've kind of written myself into a corner; the plot I've written so far has driven the protagonist into a fight against the main villain, but the problem is that the villain has no reason t let the hero win and the hero doesn't have nearly high enugh stats to win the fight. I could revise it but that would mean throwing away nearly twenty pages of work. Any non-pseud advice?
>inb4 ">fantasy"

Cumming in a vagina is called a natural investment in disaster, because that's what children are.

>>14410543
There’s no such thing as cringe and I honestly never got why people bought into this sentiment, maybe you’re all just retarded or something and can’t find the good in a pile of shit. I mean, I can, but it attribute it mostly to my high IQ
>in b4 muh gommie leftists claiming IQ isn’t real

Put toothpick under big toenail, kick wall

>>14412993
Blunt but effective.

GOD IS A BOLTZMANN RAINBOW, THE FOOD CHAIN IS A CENTIPEDE, TABLE MANNERS ARE SYMPTOMS OF ABSOLUTE ZERO AND THE INNER CHILD IS MADE OF PLASMA: what makes gnosticism so radical is just the way it verticalizes Hegel's cut as the problem of dystonia: that self feels itself a guest and not a resident in the House of Being: and its Sons secrete Western thought like rafflesia: for Shestov and Lindsay, pleasure is the fact of universal Death experienced syntonically: temporally: the content man, the “creature of oblivion”, wags the tongue of the public dragon: Voyage to Arcturus, instead, is broadcast to the Stranger: a light in the belly of the World-Farm, the drinking pressure-wound: “the Call [to Awakening] as such is its own Content”: the Call is called inside Crystalman as prismatic metaxu: Hegel's fiat lux - “Being, pure Being-” - becomes the elemental determination for both death and deathlessness: the more I read this stuff, the more I'm convinced philosophy is basically a series of extremely individuated interpretations of how a differential blossoms out of (retroactive) latency: which direction the drop rolls down Laura Dern's hand: Zizek and Damascius give up the ghost together: “minimum distinction” between hyparxis/dynamis homologous with the performative incision of the One counted as One: what the Call does is subvert Being's autonomy as itself: Leviathans decompressed by a subject's Munchausen dynamo/Boltzmann hyparxis (CHIM): the henads both generate Being as a space of mediation, and it is Being that uses the henads to generate itself*: through PKD: Langan/Spinoza are high priests of the one-source hologram-reality, while the henads are multi-source: that is, in Proclus, we don't have the generation of multiplicity from unity, but unity from multiplicity: henads aren't piecemeal contributors to a Whole, each is the entire universe according to its unique existentiale: not different realities tessellated into one, but “one” reality in coextension with any and all*: Malebranche through Badiou: “reality” is a temple to God's desire to be Himself: “God” does not desire the Other inasmuch as it is this desire itself that is otherness: deifugal eclipse: the “World is a fetishized (eroticized) nothingness”: a universal space, ie cosmic bacchanal in which the party's flowing affirms only the immortality of the field itself: Spirit is the horizontal cut, man become the ergonomic(izing) animal: positive avidya, the generative power of a heuristic (“environing”) spotlight: and so, Plotinus: “the universe ... both moves in its circle and is at rest”: Plotinus and Hegel together: Being trying to be born from the Non-Being, history as centipedal womb: the Ouroborous is made 1 (and “2”) by the hymen of mediation punctured in the act of eating itself: TASTE AS MEMBRANE CLINAMEN

>>14413002
based

>>14411976
This isn't actually cringe though
But it is cringe you posting non-cringe in a cringe thread
cringe

>>14412462
>I was thinking more like Rimbaud and Valéry maybe? I am curious about becoming a decadent
I'm okay with this post if he's a twink

The crisp glow of the sun eclipsed the forests below as it began its descent. Drops of the saturated light drizzled about the outline of the trees like tinsel. Faint caws belonging to the fowl inhabitants broke into the air before the beat of their wings left their echoes behind them. As they fled, small plumes floated down, whispering over the roof of a meager cottage made of wood and stone.

Call me Ishmael.

>>14410543
I'm glad I have a doggo instead of crotchspawn

>>14410968
Rape is just the colonization of the oppressed by the oppressor's death-affirmation.

>>14413002
unironically yep that's cringe

I love you.

>>14410543
>After I finished urinating in the priest's decapitated head, I turned around and dabbed. The townspeople broke into applause and I saw a few women sneaking glances at my penis, which was exactly eight point five inches long with six point five inches of girth.
I tried.

>>14413389
that's actually incredibly based

>>14413161
i love you too, anon.

I live in a county that has no chipmunks. Now, the county directly to the North, has chipmunks. How can this be, you ask? How could such a thing have occured, you ponder? Understand, the only thing separating these two counties is a river that is neither wide nor deep, at least, neither wide nor deep enough to stop a chipmunk from wandering across a downed tree. Nevermind the large bridges that a chipmunk could easily walk across. You can sit on the chipmunkless side of the river, and watch the chipmunks foraging on the other side. God! Just imagine, that for hundreds, if not possibly thousands of years, no mating pair of chipmunks has ever managed to ford this river. This river, that at its shallowest parts would only slake the thirst of your feet. An entire species held back by a gentle stream. Now, imagine how small our problems and obstacles must seem to a being even greater than we? An entire civilization held back by a gentle stream.

>>14410953
Okay, now this is epic

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

Mushrooms & maggots
Growing in my Onahole
Stick my sick dick in
Anyway

>>14410953
this isnt even cringy though its based and i would 100% keep reading

love and death...
death due us part
ah forget the lyrics...
i want to dedicate this to someone more special
karissa i hope you love me
but this isn't just another love story
please
oh god please
romeo and juliet!
i'm gonna fucking kill you
you fucking bitch i hope you shred me
with you i can only peel my skin inbetween my eyes
ah im gonna frickin scream again
oh god here it goes
fuck

Reading your posts onlines a sweet to my soul.
Memeing and memeing it has a special lull
Sending thoughts in technoairspace
Seems ridiculous but I wanna lick your face x333

>>14414075
I always appreciate a good David Lynch reference

I can't find the writing general so I'll just post it here... I guess... but it's not cringy so I don't think it really belongs here... please rate my story out of 10 so I know if I'm on the right track...

It all began one stormy night. I was sitting at my computer reading. I was reading posts on an anonymous imageboard called 4chan where I spend lots of my time. This place is often called the "Dark Web" so you really need to be open-minded and have a really, very think skin (maybe even a lot of intelligence) to spend your time here. I won't bore you with the details... but just as I was adding books to my to-read list my window slammed open! Did I mention it was christmas? You put two and two together...

zoowee mama chills went down my spine writing that one! rate out of 10 please

The only cringe here is you shitpuddle nazi chuds trying to sound smart

>>14414155
thats the ultimate irony, you included. but i know you weren't joking, we were though which makes YOU the sole cringelord here

>>14410953
>Warning: If you lay it on too thick and without finesse, it will become less cringe, because it will look less authentic

>>14413086
faggot

>>14414155
Cringe
>>14414159
Cringe

>>14410543
Total presence breaks on the univocal predication of the exterior absolute the absolute existent (of that of which it is not possible to univocally predicate an outside, while the equivocal predication of the outside of the absolute exterior is possible of that of which the reality so predicated is not the reality, viz., of the dark/of the self, the identity of which is not outside the absolute identity of the outside, which is to say that the equivocal predication of identity is possible of the self-identity which is not identity, while identity is univocally predicated of the limit to the darkness, of the limit of the reality of the self). This is the real exteriority of the absolute outside: the reality of the absolutely unconditioned absolute outside univocally predicated of the dark: the light univocally predicated of the darkness: the shining of the light univocally predicated of the limit of the darkness: actuality univocally predicated of the other of self-identity: existence univocally predicated of the absolutely unconditioned other of the self. The precision of the shining of the light breaking the dark is the other-identity of the light. The precision of the absolutely minimum transcendence of the dark is the light itself/the absolutely unconditioned exteriority of existence for the first time/the absolutely facial identity of existence/the proportion of the new creation sans depth/the light itself ex nihilo: the dark itself univocally identified, i.e., not self-identity identity itself equivocally, not the dark itself equivocally, in “self-alienation,” not “self-identity, itself in self-alienation” “released” in and by “otherness,” and “actual other,” “itself,” not the abysmal inversion of the light, the reality of the darkness equivocally, absolute identity equivocally predicated of the self/selfhood equivocally predicated of the dark (the reality of this darkness the other-self-covering of identity which is the identification person-self).

>>14410543
I pull out my magnum, put a single bullet in the chamber... Spin it, cock the hammer. 'Yes yes mother, you didnt get me the new pokemon game now I game with my life'.
I put the cold barrel of the revolver to my temple and press the trigger 5 consecutive times.

>>14412062
Simply write something so good I can suspend my disbelief

>>14414194
Thank you, that means I succeeded. I therefore passed the challenge that I had set out

>>14410543
I don't care about you did before we started dating! I love you too much, and I'll make you love me too. But of course I'll ask for your consent first, it's what a gentleman would do.

>>14414139
He I winced

love is love is love, bigoy

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

>>14414375
Eh good enough

Somebody post Guenon's erotic poems

>>14410953
Can someone dissect this and explain what exactly about this sentence makes it so cringe?

>>14414486
It’s just an edgy shoehorned atheist line. Imagine somebody saying that in any random context

>>14414433
This is cringy but I can't tell why.

>"N-no please..." Begged Trump as the trans-resistance army's chief diversity officer approached him. "I just wanted to make America-"
>*Blam*
>Blood and brain matter coated the oval office as her gun delivered its fatal response. "Huh," she remarked, "I guess we do all look the same on the inside."

>>14410543
>Call me Ishmael

I think the only way to subvert the context of this thread to produce something truly cringy is by tricking the reader into thinking you are typing something that you really do think is cringy but the irony is that it is only something a true cringelord could produce. This is obvious but it reminds me of people who pretend to be retarded, but they do such a good job that I genuinely believe the only reason they can pretend so well is if they are actually retarded. I would like to see someone really attempt this

>>14414649
wasn't that image created by a conservative to conflate bernie with communism and frenzy his readers though? i first saw it in that context and you can bet i cringed

>>14414670
>Needing an image to "conflate" Bernie with communism
He already does that on his own, no need to force it.

>>14410543
I am the alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end.

>>14414663
He surfife?

>>14414680
>He already does that on his own, no need to force it.
his worst offense was calling himself a socialist, but if you want to get the attention of the rabble that's precisely the move to make in America. what's truly cringy is those that doubly don't understand the difference, that make comics like that

>>14413161
This is cringe only because you consider it cringe, the words themselves are based and frenpilled, you are cringe and dying-alonepilled

>>14410543
Trans rights are human rights

>>14414708
>Implying there's a difference
Communism is a made up word that America uses instead of socialism, which is a totalitarian ideology about total government control over the market sector. Read a book nigger.

>>14410543
I fucking hate you you fucking prick
Everything you've taken from me
My whole life
My family and spine
Gone, and now I wait
To die

>>14414499
You don't get it, dude. In reality it's a deep explanation of Christian anthropology, because in our natural state, having inherited the sin of Adam, we are enemies of God prior to being reconciled to him through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. The story would presumably follow the protagonist as he reconciles himself to his final enemy on earth so that he can finally be reconciled to God, à la Matthew 5:24.

>>14412042
so basede....

>>14414466
bruh

>>14410953

>>14414822
Honestly, I like this. It’s good

>>14414663
That's based though

>>14413389
Kek

>>14410543
>You wanna know how gay I am? I wanna pluck my dick out and shove it up my asshole.

Work hard and think positively and you'll be successful!

>>14414159
You win the cringe of the thread award!

>>14412462
Blank Banshee is not cringe

>>14414486
You're kidding, right?

>God is love, and the kingdom of God is within you.

>>14410543
>If God is omnipotent and is able to stop evil but doesn't, means he doesn't want to.

>>14415768
>god lets evil persist because free will

Being a liberal male

>buy a cravat, tweed jacket, and some shiny cannibal shoes
>I Have Become The Hunter
>invite an old friend of mine over for dinner...
>confit de hamburger meat, hot pocquette under a bed of marinara sauce with fried pommes du terre
>as I make the feast I imagine that it's the remains of a 23rd year old Slovakian exchange student that I have abducted.
>"wow, nice sloppy joes, anon"
>I can barely control The Beast
>Adam Chaikovsky on the radio and Drive ost
>the finest cranberry juice (Ocean Spray, 2012)
>during dinner I try to probe his mind, trying to somehow decipher the pathetic nature of Humans
>"Do you believe in god, my friend?"
>"Excuse me anon?"
>"G-god must be a madman, lest he choose to be a m-monster"
>triumphantly pop a morsel into my mouth
>it misses, bounces off my cravat
>he leaves early
>I finish the rest of the sloppy joes, content
>at school the next day everyone thinks I'm gay
>apparently my hissing, smirking and staring deep into his eyes was seen as flirtatious behaviour
>the Beast still hungers

>>14410953
holy....

Hey guys! So I decided to record every time I fapped during 2019. I plan to do so next year too. My grand total so far has been 368 times this year.

>>14414739
holy shit this is the only guy who understands it fuck this gay ass board

>>14410543
"Cringe" is such a beautiful and meaningful word. Everytime I disagree with someone I simply state my feeling of discomfort and blame his social inadequacy. Regardless which argument may have been made, the mere fact that I took offense and replied "Cringe" ultimately renders his defeat.

>>14416307
This, but quoted and with a soijak image

>>14416325
>This, but quoted and with a soijak image

>>14410543
You fucking millennials make me sick with your participation trophies and your twitter slang and your tumblr sensibilities. Whatsa matta? Baby gonna cry? Baby wanna safe space from da big meanie on da inta-net? Well I've got news for you, cuck. Real life's knocking on your door. In real life there are no safe spaces you stupid little bitch. So look up from your phone, pull your head out of the PC clouds, and get ready. Because we're taking back this country. And you can lead, follow, or get your fairy ass out of the way. Choice is yours, kiddo.

>>14416331
>You fucking millennials make me sick with your participation trophies and your twitter slang and your tumblr sensibilities. Whatsa matta? Baby gonna cry? Baby wanna safe space from da big meanie on da inta-net? Well I've got news for you, cuck. Real life's knocking on your door. In real life there are no safe spaces you stupid little bitch. So look up from your phone, pull your head out of the PC clouds, and get ready. Because we're taking back this country. And you can lead, follow, or get your fairy ass out of the way. Choice is yours, kiddo.

Trans rights are human rights

I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country … how are we gonna keep building nuclear weapons, you know what I mean? What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize that we’re all one?!

>>14416345
>Trans rights are human rights
you have no rights gayboy, the only legitimate power in the universe is the military and you ain't part of it

>>14416355
it's cringe because it's a bad caricature. well done anon

>>14416375
kek it's literally a Bill Hicks quote and it's also how all psych evangelists sound to non-retards

>>14410953
How is this cringe and based at the same time

>>14416388
impossible, it can only either be based or cringe

>>14416399
Wrong, it's bringe.

>>14416382
but anon what's bad about weed?

>>14416402
Pretty cringe, but also based

>>14412462
Why would you do my boy Valery like this, delet this now

>>14414075
It’s so dense...

It wasn't so much my getting filtered as it was the book's being unbearable to read. You know, because the guy was an insufferable writer? No wonder he was blind: his descriptions of the battles are as foggy and dim, and as blurry and inscrutable, as his vision. So no, I wasn't filtered by him. I read him twice, and wish, too, that I could get the time that I put into those readings back for other efforts.

There's no greatness about it, other than the fact that it's dealing with "great" figures of history. Whatever "greatness" it has bespeaks not its quality but the subject matter with which it deals. And, even so, Johnson was right to point out that Milton's depiction of Satan was immoral for the young readers reading it.

>>14410543
weed wedd all day every day
weed weed in my blood in my veins
weed weed it feels so good
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

>>14415768
that's logical, yes

>>14415835
sounds funny enough

>>14414155
thats a good one

>>14411800
you're ready for the open-mics kid

https://pastebin.com/hX3EVZ8t
People on /lit/ tell me my writing is very awkward and cringey. It's supposed to be, in a way.

>>14411991
>You look out for the interests of your own kind? That's cringe, bro.
>Just coom and engross yourself in escapist literature until you die, that way it's never your problem.

>>14413389
that first sentence really made me laugh

>>14416388

>>14410543
You might think you're in control right now, no you are but a puppet in my online machinations. You are putty, a mere consumer of my product. I make memes that go to the front page. Everyone online sees my work and it becomes a part of society. You mindless peons are simply watching. You are cucks, sad pathetic rubes who can only consume, but me? I'm making society every day,

Oh, and guess what else? I'm a janitor too! So I get to spend all day, every day deciding what you think and see. Goodbye my little doves, be sure to spread my nonsense.

All through this I've neglected to tell you one thing: I can do it for free.

On the last day of high school I told a girl who I loved that she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, I left the next day happy to have finally told a girl my feelings for the first time and by some miracle we both had the same mistake in our graduation papers and came back to get it fixed at the same time. I ran to my mom's car so she could tell me what my phone number is and we traded numbers and she gave me her church card. A week later it turns out my phone had gone so unused that I had to get a new number, I tried calling and texting her number and there was no response. I never went to her church.

We must imagine Sisyphus happy.

>>14411950

>>14414717
this is the real cringe
like if you agree

>>14419453
western society is going to fucking hell

>>14419577
western society is hell

>>14410543
communism won't work because of human nature

>>14419607
it's true

>>14413389
Reads a lot like Bataille, good job Anon

>>14419596
>WAHHH I SUFFER IN THE FIRST WORLD
fuck off faggot

>>14415900
Wrong thread, based section is that way.
Also checked.

>>14419607
ok let's just ignore literally every single time it's ever been tried

>>14419453
Ironically this post is cringed and that redditors opening line is based. Maybe you try reddit for a while favgot it’s more your speed lol.

Congrats /Lit/ you somehow managed to make a thread where every single post is cringe including my own, hey wait a minute it looks like you managed to make an entire board pure cringe wow wait I'm looking around and this entire website is cringe oh man oh no the entire internet is cringe life is cringe everything outside of life is cringe I'm cringe were all cringe AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>14414139
This one got me. Well done.

>>14411800
>>14410953
>>14412054
>>14412962
These are unironically pretty good

>>14410543
>>14420985

I am enlightened not by some phony sky fairy's blessing but by my own intellect.

>>14411800
The golden retriever thing actually could happen though. Puppies are retarded and knock shit over all the time.

>>14410543
"Holy watersports, Batman!" Sonic ejaculated. "My face is your toilet seat!"

His face turned into playdough, my special "play-thing".

>>14420624
hhhhheeeeelllllllllooooo rrrrrrreeeeedddddiiiiiittttt

thank god this thread is still up.

>You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.

>How was that for American? I was gonna throw in a "Yippie-Kai-Yay, Mutherfucker," for good measure, but with it being the holiday season, I thought it might be triggering for the Amerifags.

>Lol; I'm just fucking with you; I was born and raised in Southern California. We just had this thing called "cultural diversity" that apparently the fucking entire rest of the country except for New York and like Austin or something didn't have access to, so everybody from any other part of the planet thinks we're fucking retarded.

>And they're not wrong, for the most part. Like, that's the worst thing: They. Are. Not. Wrong. The average American has about as much global awareness as an ant following chemical trails left by the pheromone glands of whoever was marching before them...

>>14414739
Seems kinda far fetched man. If God was our enemy he wouldn't give us the chance to redeem ourselves.

>>14411783

Edit: Ding ding thanks for the gold kind strangerino!!!

>>14412923
Kek'd because so fucking silly

>>14410543
>The Rabbi began shaking as I forced the gun in his lying mouth. "Please Mister, you don´t have to do this, oy vey ist mir, bitte nicht, please not, pl..." With a thunderous roar, the barrel blew hellfire into his crooked face and the last kike in New York fell backwards. I smirked and wiped the barrel with his robe. "That´s Sturmbannführer Berthold for you, kike"

>>14421875
beautiful

As a nazi myself

>>14421875
kino

>>14410543
A'isha Thunderblade smirked when her clumsy, male opponent fell headless to the ground. Though the man had trained for his entire life for war, his brute force was no match for A'isha's feminine grace and skills, not to mention Shadowsreach, her legendary katana.

>your swordsmanship is quite unparalleled m'lady. You are the best fighter I have come up against and in my defeat you have proved female superiority over the male burden.

I'm sorry OP, but I'm literally incapable of writing anything cringe simply because of how Based I am. Basedness itself flows through the very tiger blood in my veins, and there is not a single speck of cringe in the absolute and ultimate wholeness of my Basedhood. Based is the bread, the sustenance of Basedness, you are what you eat, and I eat Basedness. Mere cringe man may not live on bread alone, but in my Basedness I live only in the Basedness of the Basedbread of my Basedhood. Cringe is the pneuma of heaven, the cringeessence of cringe cringeness of cringe basedboys cringing back from the Basedness of life into their worship of weakness and cringe, the cringe that cannot be real! To substitute the solid Basedness of life for the immaterial cringe which cannot be felt is the very evil of weakness and cringe. I am Based, free-range Based, born and bred Based, transcendent of cringe, I smoke the pure freebased Basedness and imbibe its Basednesses of Basedness into the Based tiger blood in my veins. Why yes, I am Based. Why do you ask?

>>14422783
>Am I evil?
>Worse, you're smart.

>>14412042
Based but also true which makes it unbased

IMPOTUS Cheeto Benito’s Amerikkka aka hellworld is a mix of 1984, Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451 and this is not normal

I wish I was born a cute anime girl bros. I wish I could be a childhood friend to some generic protag mc kun and lust after his dick but get friendzoned by a callous girl with silver hair who met him only a week ago and couldn't even tell you what his middle name was much less what his favorite food was or how he broke his arm when he was 11 playing sports ITS JUST NOT FAIR I want to make a contract with a spacerat for magical girl powers and have to continually fight space alien monsters and watch my friends die and be slowly consumed by the dark fusion of the weight of the world and the teenage girls emotionally instability of her first blood. WHY CANT I JUST BE A CUTE UNDERAGE GIRL DOING CUTE THINGS AND BE LEWDED BY FAT NECKBEARDS ON THE INTERNET WHO ARE TWENTY YEARS OLDER THAN ME BECAUSE I LOADED THE DISHWASHER "SEXILY" AND BE A DRAWING ON THEIR PILLOWS THAT THEY HUMP AT NIGHT WHILE THEIR PARENTS PRETEND THEY ARE JUST GAY AND IN THE CLOSET AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>14422783
You must smoke a lot of crack anon.

>>14423467
crack is based

>>14423470
Indeed, it's based cocaine.

>>14420178
cringed at this, nice job

this nigga eating beans