/lit/ - Literature

I am never gonna be loved I am never gonna have sex I am never gonna get kissed I AM NEVER GONNA GET LAID A WOMAN WILL NEVER LOVE ME

>>14367528
Easiest said than done
I thought you eye the one
Listening to my heart instead of my head
So I will replace you
The graveyard where I play pokemon go

There's only noise there OP

>>14367528
For there is no thing inside me
Forthy are all, all around me
Like trees, barks and cats and deadly rats
I fear not
no
I fear not
For you are me and I am you
AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER

>>14367608
mission succesful, now fuck off, me

Why do these threads exist? These threads and the ones asking for identity details and books you've read. They attract all the casual visitors immediately unfailingly, and a wide amount of content is ignored by the rest of everybody. What's the point? That's what's on my mind OP.

>>14367528
The commonly accepted concept of hedonism is false. It is the Ascetics that are the true hedonists. Asceticism provides deep pleasures of gratitude and tranquility while sensuous pleasure seeking is shallow and will lead one to hopelessness.

>>14367545
what if plenty of women take an interest in me but i never am able to hold it because im the one who has to take the initiative and i'm scared to death of dating or having a relationship. I dont think id ever be capable of cuddling, or going to the movies, or any of the typical romance things it'd all be fake I could never do any of it

>>14367528
It’s been 30 days since I vowed to never again visit porn sites and all red boards except for the occasional /pol/ for news. I’m thankful I’ve been able to do it. Unfortunately there are still porn webm’s and images on blue boards, and that was not part of the vow, but still, I’ve only masturbated to my imagination for these 30 days. Now I’m wondering if I should extend the vow to viewing webms, and maybe all forms of purposeful seeking of sexual content. I can’t imagine what would happen if I vowed to never masturbate or to not dwell on sexual images. I would not consider doing such a dangerous thing if it had not worked so well for porn sites.

>>14367697
Last girl I was with I was really nervous because I felt like I had to talk. In the relationship I'm in now is way better because I've just decided to shut up and talk when I really feel like it. The girl should be doing most of the talking.

>>14367528
Maybe I should go to bed and close my eyes, thinking about good times and a good future. Maybe I should just live in the dreams, I am inventing every day for new, just to not accept what reality is really like. Maybe I should just accept the hard truth and stop believing the picture of my life which I want it to be like.

Or I just stay at my desk, drunken, staring at a mostly blank paper.

I'm starting to get fascinated by this silly looking man.
I find it funny how the progressive/reactionary dualism framed him as backward looking and Corbyn as a bringer of possibly dangerous "real change", while, the more I think about it, the opposite seems to be true.
Corbyn is the reactionary, he speaks in the language of a dead modernism about "industrial revolutions" and rights or services we should want to get back. The "change" he fantasies is more like a return, to a time before privatisation or before neoliberalism or before the Tories or before whatever.
Boris may attract the conservative leaning, but his free trade wet dreams exist in the future. I don't know what his endgame is with Brexit, but I'm tremendously curious to know. This man has been the mayor of the world's financial capital and has managed to landslide an election in these unpredictable times. I deeply dislike everything he stands for but I'm starting to get the impression that he understands something about the current day and age (and its future), which most people are too stuck in whatever to grasp

>>14367528
that's a very cute image

my nose is stuffy and all stimuli is a chore to perceive
I wonder if getting an SO would alleviate the pain, I'm pan it shouldn't be too hard
I'm running out of self esteem

can't get these fantasies about having a long respectful conversation with a lonely shy man of cloth with a roman collar outta my head.

I've quit my job that I've held for 8 years because I couldn't take sitting at a desk dealing with stupid bullshit anymore. My final day is tomorrow.
I'm anxious but kind of excited, I feel like I'm being released from prison.
I've got no fucking clue what happens next.

>>14368260
Books for this feel?

>>14368203
Same, I really like fairies but I can't really tell this to anyone

>>14367528
Why do all of my sexual fantasies since quitting porn over a year ago involve no actual penetration and instead just kissing and heavy petting, its like I can't even imagine a pussy or putting my dick in it.

>>14368276
go backpacking with all your dosh

when it runs out wageslave some more

>>14367528
I'm at a crossroads where I can either
1. Stop trying and live a relatively happy life as a wageslave bugman.
2. I can try really fucking hard then probably still fail and end up a wageslave bugman but suffer more in the process.
Which do I choose lads?

The militarization of space. It is a natural consequence of technological advancement and the dialectic of arms races. The traditional theaters of war, land, air and sea, have more or less been technologically maxxed out save for robotization. More advanced weaponry in these fields are not realistic lasers, gauss cannons, etc, are costly and confer only a marginal benefit over existing materiel. As the world's major military powers reach equilibrium in the means of war in these domains, space is the logical and necessary next step. Indeed the US DoD just approved the formation for a space force and China has been actively implementing one.

What are the battlefield advantages of space weaponry? They offer an exceptional delivery system for certain types of warheads, particularly nonconventional EMP bombs to disable electronics in a given region, given that it is easier to detonate a bomb in the atmosphere from space rather than deliver it through the atmosphere.

Armed spacecraft can also be used to destroy enemy surveillance satellites. In fact in 2007 the Chinese did exactly that.

Certainly the DoD is eying Jeff Bezo's space corporation Blue Origin and given Bezo's prior involvements with the military industrial complex there is sure to be some courtship in the years to come as the space force is developed.

>>14368316
you're getting healthy. vulgarity is not the hottest thing

>>14368316
because you're an effeminate basedboi enjoy all of that estrogen in your drinking water you nigger faggot

Yo niggas how should I study history? It's common sense that I should start from the beginning but after prehistory, early Antiquity with the great civs where should I go from there? I was actually thinking of going the history of every country one at a time, starting with the shortest ones and moving progressively to the longer ones.

>>14367803
Or perhaps he is just a silly looking man with some sort of charisma and an objective

>>14367528
I'd like her to smoke my cigarette, if you know what I mean...

>>14367803
>I deeply dislike everything he stands for
cringe

>>14368427
Read all of the classics and then read what interests you

> I was actually thinking of going the history of every country one at a time
sounds boring and like something you wouldn't complete, ultimately the history of Benin and French Polynesia isn't particularly pertinent aside from being just tangibly connected to more important things, events and nations - who gives a shit?

I want to add an element of a rock star who's only convinced to continue being a rockstar because of his sociopath manager getting him addicted to drugs. But trying to research drug addicted rockstars just brings up "Hey here's a list of ten famous guys that took too much cocaine and exactly how much they took".

I'm trying to research drug addicted prostitutes, for more that 'have someone else forcing you to be addicted' angle, but I'm finding very few similar stories/real life accounts of such, almost everything I seem to try to google just comes up with "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ADDICTED TO DRUGS ANYMORE" or stories about coming clean and not about the drug use.

I just want to die. My mind is tell that im a loser and a fuckup, i want to say that im not but i cant - its right. Theres no point in reading as its only letters on paper which wont change anything. I wish i'd be able to smash the remaining hope and just peacefully kill myself and go to afterlife.

>be friendless neet
>watch anime every day
>see characters going out on adventures, getting stronger, doing quests
>decide I want to be an adventurer too
>put on coat and boots and head out
>end up wandering around the woods for several hours because I don’t actually know how to be an adventurer
>do some push ups
>swing a stick around and pretend it’s a sword
>go home and blogpost about my autism on 4channel.org

>>14369239
cute

>discussing the "opressed females" narrative
>"girls have it so hard, we don't have access to safe abortion and we're always afraid of getting raped if we go out alone"
>"idk, men nowadays have it pretty rough... most of my friends are unemployed a-"
>"well, men's problems are also caused by the patriarchy!"

Is there a way to circunvent this idiotic argument besides completely denying the existence of something called the "patriarchy"?

imagine wanting to study something as useless as history in 2019 lmao

>>14367528
writing a sonnet about a tinder thot's nipple

>>14369423
You can't. Rational, intelligent dialogue is impossible in current year. The causes of why society is the way it is are too complex and mutlifactorial for the average prole to understand. Everything gets reduced to capitalism this or patriarchy that.
>>14369434
I'm not studying history to get some useless piece of paper, I'm studying history on my own to cultivate myself, Philistine.

you all need to stop being self-pitying losers. also read more books faggots.

>>14369454
don't you dare to talk back to me fucking nerd

>>14369454
this >>14369496
shit the fuck up nerd

>>14367528
I’m about to trip on golden teachers for the first time, I’m going to try to write and compose while on it, but if that doesn’t happen I’ll respect the drug and go where it leads me. I have an anxiety disorder and self esteem issues so I’m hoping to address those as well.

Is it true that women can sense your insecurities and low self esteem and the fact that you already feel unworthy of even looking at them and that you are actually at your core afraid of intimacy

>>14369862
probably but who gives a fuck?

>>14369862
Called body language my friend.

>>14369862
i always imagine hitler is watching me and my body language improves instantly.

>>14369918
I imagine that the girl is hitler so my nervousness is replaced with a leering sneer.

>>14369918
i do this too desu

>>14369918
okay, based

>>14368427
>I was actually thinking of going the history of every country one at a time, starting with the shortest ones and moving progressively to the longer ones.
you should read (possibly the abridged version of) "a study of history" by toynbee, or at least its introduction, where he talks about how it is impossible and silly to try and understand the history of a particular nation in and of itself when the history of nations are inevitably tied together with that of other nations, and so it is only possible to gain meaningful understanding of history when you consider the entire system in a holistic and all-encompassing way
also,
>Yo niggas
please do not talk like a nigger here

Went to the office holiday party tonight. Have to drink a ton to get through it. The psychiatrist is never going to call me back to make an appointment. I did everything you’re supposed to be but have still failed somehow. The story of my life.

Johnny unlooped his belt with both hands as he kicked the bathroom door ajar. Shaking either leg out of his pants, he turned himself around, ass out, his bowels moaning and rumbling.
"Myaao," Johnny heard from behind. Frisky was sitting in the toilet bowl again. Johnny cringed, but it was too late. Slamming the toilet seat down, he fell against the cool porcelain. The delicate touch of a pawpad grazed his left cheek. His hips fluttered at the tickling whisker pricks as Frisky sniffed his crack. And finally Johnny relaxed his sphincter.

It feels like I have to fight tooth and nail for a second of inner peace

>>14370148
lol just imagine the cat if you did that haha

>>14368260
i talked with a priest at a shoe store once for about 15 minutes. it was really comfy.

>>14369918
why does this work bros... is he really the only person who truly wanted to see us improve?

I feel like an idiot. It takes me so long to get through a book. I just can't seem to focus and many times I feel like I just don't get it. I'm reading notes from underground and it took me hours just to get through the first 20% of the book.

>>14370196
This sounds like the setup to a joke.

“I talked to a priest in a shoe store once, he measured my sole as he rubbed my feet.”

Just off the top of my head, not great, but you see what I’m getting at.

>>14370196
>>14368260
>ywn have an old man priest mentor who lives in an old victorian building and is like the father you never had

>>14370203
I understand, I go through the same struggle.

>>14368349
War has always been about the earth. Geography and topography have always played a vital role. Satellites already are vital in grand scale military operations. Reconnaissance is surely the first historical example of space warfare, even if it was only in a support rather than a combat role.

Weaponizing satellites are limited because they are usually not self-propelling. So the trajectory in which you launch them determines the line of attack. This would then result in opposing militaries tracking these "lanes" and monitoring them for war satellites. There isn't much to hide behind in the thermosphere. Each potential target would be intersected by 360 degrees of attack vectors. How likely would it be to sneak a satellite above your enemy and to get it then on time? These are all great limitations of satellites as weapon platforms.

I'm in love with a character from a shitty genre fiction book.

>>14370317
What character?

do spoilers work on /lit/?

>>14367528
If I stopped drinking most things in my life would improve but god damn I love drinking.

>>14367528
Futility is a waste of time. If your situation is hopeless either exert yourself towards fixing it in any way possible or go about your business. Nobody gains by pacing around ripping their own hair out.

>>14367528
my girlfriend left me because i called her silly

>>14370327
Young Griff/Aegon from ASOIAF

>>14370360
i diagnose you with gay

I thought by now i'd be so much better than I am.

>>14370367
He's just so cute, I don't want to have sex with him, just cuddle and kiss him.

>>14370359
silly bitch

>>14370371
thats arguably even gayer anon

>>14370379
How so? I thought gays just wanted to fuck all the time.

>>14370357
Action is far more decisive than thought. Yet action without thought, or at minimum valid intuitions, is a hop skip and a jump from jail time. Action is philosophically interesting because of course millions of animals and organisms act in a self-sufficient, self-maintaining manner without any apparent pretense of thought. Humans however have a certain restriction lifted and as such we are able to conceive of actions independently of immediate environmental responses.

I have a little theory that the capacity for full and effective action has been damaged by a "push button" culture where so much is streamlined and automated and pre-digested. The times when i feel the most joy is when I really have to work for the sake of the good, like hiking to find a beautiful vista versus just taking a car.

>>14370341
>>14370341
Just meditate (stare at a blue 3d cube in your head for five-ten minutes with full concentration) whenever you get the urge to drink. I quit smoking and weed this way. I now get up every day at 5am. I'm still trying to perfect the process though, i still have some vices. The process is also harder to do around harsh noise.

>>14370380
fucking a man in the ass is way less gay than cuddling a man and kissing him tenderly. this isn't rocket science

>>14368342
invest in chainlink

>>14370392
How so?

>>14370402
i dnt know it just is

The true point to take home is that thought and action are not distinct. Philosophy of language bridges the gap through the notion of speech acts. Speech is obviously an act, but it is also intimately connected to our thoughts. It's just one example where the distinction between thought and action collapses.

Then there is the other fact that our brains densely map our bodies through an comprehensive net of nerve endings. If the brain produces thought through the same neural mechanisms as action, action is at least plugged into the same functions-- at least what we call deliberative, planned action directed by the frontal cortex.

At least some actions therefore are identical to the expression of thought, an embodied cognition. Body language is one such obvious example. But if you think of a specialist or technician operating a complex piece of machinery, their actions are there tied to thoughts, reasons, in a highly definite and direct way.

>>14369423
Acknowledge patriarchy as a stabilizing force and that most problems are caused by resistance to the patriarch and not by the patriarch himself.

>>14370196
a nun once gave me a nasty look inside a costco when I walked by her and said "ooh, cinnamon rolls"

the place on the floor where my body decayed left a stain in your memory

Probably the cutest thing about millennial-zoomer relations is giving zoomers 30yo boomer music recs. I like sharing what is the great treasure trove of 90s and early 20s musics with this deprived lot.

Certainly rock in the 90s blows away contemporary rock. I'm almost afraid that zoomers don't know what rock is.

>>14370569
>early 20s
You know what I meant.

I am not a homosexual. Josh is the homosexual here, not me, for Josh is the very essence of homosexuality distilled into an nondescript man of some completely random race.

God, how his presence utterly torments me.

>>14367528
I just made my pee pee an innie

weirdly enough going outside makes me more depressed rather than at home

fuckckckcjsiapaojzjz

>>14370196
based small talk, the more you chat the more their learned default politeness fades away to reveal genuine kindness
>>14370220
the feel... is unbearable
>>14370420
you must've guessed the secret code nuns use to talk about nasty things

>>14368342
Suffering is usually a good thing.

>>14367528
The madness stems from a constant barrage of unnecessary battles for dignity respect and sanity. These battles are nothing but noise, they are childish and stem from the inability to behave as an adult out of a desperate attempt to console oneself for being an utter failure who, at the end of their lives, are left alone with only themselves and the burden that they have created. The burden must pay for its existence through constant consolation and reaffirmation of individuality. I am this burden. I am not a person, I am not human, I am 25 years of pain and regret in a sack of skin muscle and fat. Let them believe what they must, I can and will walk away, for I am much more than what they can fathom. I will pretend to play their games but I know this is just a coping mechanism to get through the day without going utterly mad.
>I just wish I could have someone extend their hand the way I do when there is an injustice.
>it's my fault because I cannot possibly explain to anyone what I have to endure on a daily basis
>the only time I have shared I make my friends cry and start to lose their mind, so I have to keep reassuring them I am fine and everything is fine to comfort them.
>never tell them about it again.
>when they ask
>it's getting better
>it's not

>>14370823
No its not.

Posted this on /int/ but it's on my mind

The following things we can say for sure will happen in the 2020 campaign
>The media will insinuate that Bernie Sanders is an antisemite over and over again until people believe it
>Op-eds will flat-out say Bernie Sanders is an antisemite over and over again until people believe it
>Pete Buttigieg will be applauded for some horrific war-crime or tax-evasion scheme he helped others carry out
>"Britain is a lesson for the Democrats not to oppose the wealthy in anyway"
>Elizabeth Warren sells out all her beliefs
>Trump tweet asking gun owners to exterminate all democrats
>Joe Biden soils himself at some point
>Trump gets impeached
>Senate finds Trump not guilty of thing he obviously did
>Life expectancy in the US declines for 7th year straight

One of the following will also happen
>Pete Buttigieg will win the nomination but lose to Donald Trump
>Elizabeth Warren will win the nomination but lose to Donald Trump
>Joe Biden will win the nomination but lose to Donald Trump
>Bernie Sanders will win the nomination. Ultra-wealthy liberals and "vote blue no matter who" democrats will switch sides to Trump to defeat Sanders' antisemitism they lied about in the first place. Donald Trump will win.

>>14370220
the victorian building part is too real. fuck.
i want to clean the place when maid's on vacation, borrow his books and gift him my best paintings, be the only one he can freely discuss that frivolous novel with and have funny arguments on mundane things, like FUCK
i shouldn"t be tornmenting myself like this.

>>14367528
As I read Artaud I understand more and more why I am so, why I think so. He explains the mind perfectly through his fallacy, I envy his purely analytical take on his mind ignoring every possible physical condition while I sit and sorrow or the smallest things, while I cry and wonder why every predictable thing has happened. Its pathetic and sad and I fail to engage with everybody, the world, casually, i fail to play the game properly but only manage to back ass my way through my life so I suffer, without fully diving I suffer, but this suffering is perfectly acceptable then what would happen if I were to dive. So here I am thinking about pointless outer interactions when I suffer internally from the mind, i'm a brainlet that will never match up to the skill and stoic-ness of Artaud but I will suffer the same nonetheless and I will suffer with a knowing mind now.

>>14370831
Spot on. Pretty much agree with everything in this post. All this drama and no matter what it's going to inevitable end in Trump's re-election.

Trump 2020

>>14370838
what work of his are you currently engaging with?

Autism is the best ism

>>14367708
Hero
Keep it going. Do you have a gf?

these days when I walk around the city I do this thing where I silently scream. i close my throat off all the way and let air escape, gasping, without making a face or betraying the feeling. fully blank and fixed expression. black guy on the street told us in loud tones that “they are shameless like the devil because they are born of the devil”. I make real genuine eye contact with every 32nd person I see, and when a blue-eyed old guy nods at me I remember that I have to live, and that he must be under the same stone as I am but he doesn’t even know my screaming technique. 31/32 alone. indian guy carrying three thin books stops me and tells me he had a job interview today and his phone and wallet got stolen, can he have some cash? “no, but do you want to make a call?” so he’s not interested in talking anymore, he turns to the college girl walking just behind me and starts the story over again but i’m still listening and I say to them both “are you ok? do you need a ride somewhere?” but he doesn’t look at me again. the girl doesn’t look at me either except out of the corner of her eye. so I walk on. the spindly maple trees that grow out of 2x2 easements still lose their leaves here, crispy underfoot, and chip bags. and even regrow them in the spring I assume. will their trunks ever grow fat? went chasing after the receipt I dropped, head screaming “I will not make this city worse”

>>14367528
I was doing modeling for 6 years. Now I study chemistry but occasionaly I have some tv commertial or shooting. Today I was regected from a job that would pay two months rent because I am not fit anymore. Fck money is getting short

>>14371223
shoo shoo Chad

Any time I am alone I feel my failure to connect with people. I'll be overcome by my sad mood and indulge in it by thinking sad thoughts or listening to a sad song or remembering something depressing I've read. Any literally stimulus will do to get me crying. It's miserable but at least it's a feeling. When I'm not overcome by these feelings, when I'm feeling nothing, I secretly long to feel badly again, to feel the raw nerves. For a month or so I was able to imagine some kind of happiness. I took a real woman and projected the ideal on to her. She would be the one to understand and accept me. It was a mistake to let my imagination dream up the possibility of this happiness. I have never been more miserable than after I dreamed it. I mistook the ideal I cooked up for the real person and convinced myself that I should go after her. This only highlighted my social ineptitude and impotence. I couldn't even physically speak to her. My mouth seized, my throat constricted, and my ears rang. It didn't matter that I had rehearsed my innocuous lines to myself a hundred times. My fear of rejection, or maybe it's just narcissism, contains me in a prison.

>>14370835
Wish there was a book for this feel

>>14367708
What's the point of no porn if you're still fapping?

>>14371415
Its all well known to me. The second and even depressing step is to realize that shes a completely different person than you imagined her to be.

>>14367651
I’ll add evidence to this, I only come to /lit/ for these and the current reading threads

>>14371455
point went over your head. porn is the evil, not masturbation itself.

im gonna fucking do it i swear

>>14371642
dew it

hope eating s°ybean sprouts won't affect me. there's also a little tofu in this dish, but i only eat tofu once in a couple of months

>>14371681
be more worried about all the microplastics you ingest everyday and from which there is no feasible escape

How to get back at all you normalfags without feeling guilty/paranoid about it later.

>>14370831
>not supporting Trump's jew faction
Are you some kind of anti-semite anti-zionist anti-israel nazi?

>>14371425
count of monte cristo is kind of the only one i can think of. but the priest mentor character is only in the beginning part

I wish I could be creative or make something interesting. Instead I just alternate between cooming, eating, and seeking out entertainment, which very rarely entails reading. I have contributed nothing of value to this world.

>>14370825
ngtmi

>>14371709
pls don't remind me

>>14371976
its in virtually all salt, including the salt built into processed food already.

>>14371709
what doesnt kill me makes me stronger

>>14371840
every time i read about it the temptation gets worse, but there's a joy about that ache

>>14371709
imagine the worms in my gut, plastic eating faggots lmao take that

Every relationship problem boils down to this one issue: attachment.

If stacey wants to cheat, let her. How you react is what really matters. If you are attached, you will be hurt, and you will likely seek repair as if YOU had been at fault.

If you love freely, you realize people change. You let her go, you go your own way.

>>14372128
>and you will likely seek repair as if YOU had been at fault.
you are, there is only one person with agency in any relationship: the man
the woman just does whatever her emotions tell her to, she's basically an animal with long hair and smells nice

can't access ms paint to make a pic, here's the text

virgin tumblr positivity
(dyed hair, surrounded by heart emojis)
- uses piles of hideous emojis to convey "love"
- "self-care" jokes are about eating junk food
- appeals to modern idiotic concepts like "validity" and "mattering"
- thinks her autistic babbling is making someone feel better
- virtue signalling hard through mentioning all the subcategories of retards
- ugly drawings and wording
- doesn't go beyond her own webpage or custom printed clothes

CHAD boomer facebook quotes
(his shirt reads LIVE LOVE OUGH! in cursive)
- exclusively uses early internet forum smileys
- self-care is casual alcoholism
- appeals to timeless virtues like compassion and honesty
- knows no one cares, still posts it
- only addresses her own kind without mentioning it
- comfy nostalgic fonts and backgrounds
- goes down in history on wall signs and wallpapers

>>14370976
I'm reading his collected works which includes pretty much everything in a few separate volumes, just finished up Nerve Scales yesterday.

>>14367528
Everytime I listen to crystal castles I want to read Nick Land's Fanged Noumena and engage myself with accelerationism.

>>14370417
you expect a sub 120 iq funnyman watching bugbrain to even understand that?

>>14371965
hello fellow /ic/

>>14371965
?

>>14371218
no
>>14371455
reduces the appearance of sexual imagery in my head, my dreams, and it helps me think of women as more than sex objects. Lots of bad effects from porn

Is it really nothing but a fever dream? Laying in this ever still backdrop that pretends growth and change and all the humanity, all its beauty and its ugliness and all the misery it can muster to show I can't help but grow further detached from all of it.
And what's more, from this disengagement I feel it all talking back to me. Everything that comes to view blurs into breathing messages relating to my personal experience, and the further I look into them the more I fear. Despite all, this wonderful hell was built from my own volition, by my own sweat and blood; and what lies behind I know is not meant for me, yet I daily yearn for it.
At what feels like the final stretch leading towards the abrupt end of this endless crossroad I find nothing but doubt and uncertainty, and much like this post I can't make anything else outside that meaningless vagueness and inexplicable craving for it.

>>14368260
>wandering through Boston on a day off
>stumble across a Bhuddist temple
>go in out of curiosity
>end up having lunch with a monk from Tibet
>end up having a long conversation about the nature of the universe and what we know from our differing perspectives, and what we’re willing to learn from those unlike us

One of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. I go back occasionally to say hello and to meditate.

>>14369099
not going to happen without tons of suffering before

I haven't been here in about a year. Same as it ever was.

>>14373022
desu yo ne...

>>14372807
What people are "like you"? What can, or are you willing to "learn" from even them?

>perspectives

Curiosity goes all the way down. Why stop there? or...

i have daydreamed a few times about cutting out my own tongue so people would stop botherthing me to speak.

>>14367545
Stay away from women and cultivate your virtus, pleb.
But do fuck whores once in a while. It's the purest form of relationship with women, broken down to its essence, without hypocrisy, without bullshit, without waste of time. Every man-woman relationship is transactional in nature, sex against ressources, it all boils down to this, what you call "love", it's just that, an exchange of sexual favours for ressources of any kind (monetary primarily).

Now if you develop as a man, that's another story.

>>14367697
>it'd all be fake I could never do any of it
If you can't handle fake, don't even try engaging with women. I talk from experience.

>>14367528
George Castanza is on my mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoMx_5KuUkI

>>14373022
Bullshit, I saw you here yesterday. And the day before that.

I hope every 4chan poster dies

>>14374008
thank god, it's 4channel here :^)

When I was in high school there was a girl in a few of my classes that wasn’t close friends with but would talk to in class. After class we’d walk together until we had to go different directions and just have idle conversation. One day after doing this as I turned to leave she said “Wait, anon! You should come have lunch with my friend and I”. I did, and it sticks in my mind to this day. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I’ve had so few of these (really mundane) social experiences that each one is precious to me. I doubt the girls even remember it.

I really do miss high school. It was the peak of my social life, easily. I haven’t been able to have anything even resembling friends since. I kind of doubt I ever will. I’m ok with that, I’ve got pretty used to being alone, but I still think from time to time that it would be nice to have someone to eat my meals with.

Reading Heidegger right now. Enjoying it but certainly not getting everything I should be out of it.

I want a pretty girl to pee in my mouth.

Which philosophers had fat fetishes? I seek validation.

I recently moved half-way across the country to stay with my sister, her husband, her kids, and the family friends they are staying with. While it's amazing out here compared to my hometown, in terms of the scenery and amount of stuff to do, I'm starting to regret my decision. My sister is clearly psychotic, and the family friends we live with are pretty controlling, even if they mean well. I'm thinking about just going back home in a few weeks, once I have enough saved up for a plane ticket.

>>14375063
I'd like to know about any writers that had a fat fetish desu

When I was a kid I used to have this occasional “shrinking” feeling, like I was physically very small, or at other times physically very big. The shrinking one was more common. It’s hard to verbalize exactly what it was like. It was almost the “head feel” of vertigo, but vivid and real. I would experience it when lying down in bed, and the first few times I came. I was never fully capable of inducing it myself, but somewhat capable of inducing the state that caused it. Did/does anyone else have this experience? Do psychologists etc. have an explanation?

Hey megan I know we haven't talked "much and I would ask you face to face but we never see each other. Would you like to hang out sometime/go to the winter formal with me?"
too wordy?

>>14369862
>Is it true that women can sense your insecurities and low self esteem
EVERYBODY can

I'd like to move back to my old town and reconnect with my ex romantically. I had dinner with her the other day (as I was visiting her town), and I know she has a boyfriend. I was planning to move back near her in around 2 years, but she's out living her life, and I fear 2 years will destroy any surviving remnants of affection for me. The chemistry is there, but I don't know if the desire from her is. Of course, I brought none of this up, sticking only to fun and frivolous small talk, because even if she had the same designs, she wouldn't betray her bf by vocalizing any disloyalty. That conversation is one that must happen on a level field, preferably with us both single.

So for the moment I wait, one foot in the past, while I ought to be looking to the present. Love is a tragic thing sometimes.

>>14374008
Well, they will.

I don't see how I'll find purpose in my life after leaving my last girlfriend as she made me feel more connected to the world an other people than I've felt before at any point in my life. I wasn't in love with her enough to want to commit to getting a shared place, getting kids and sharing my life with her, but she's the closest I've gotten to complete love. It's the most beautiful thing that I've had and nothing that I've experienced in the last 6 months have gotten close to the sense of purpose and joy I felt while together with her.

I feel like I'm doing something right as I'm exploring being alone, interests and new friendships aswell at doing things that might not be that great, like fucking everything that moves and drinking all the time with a group of people that I don't really enjoy talking to. I feel like I'm just drifting in the wind and while that might be what I need to do right now, I find no solace when I am alone and bored. I get no relief from missing our shared life through a single experience because I'm just waiting for the pain to pass.

I don't know, maybe I'm running away from feeling sad. I don't know how else to be and I wish that I did

>>14370386
Your body is wired to recognize effort, no matter it be mental or physical. You reward yourself for a job well done and if the easiest, most efficient method is pushing a button you will feel unsatisfied no matter the impact.

You speak of planning in thought and are not wrong, but among humans there are many different kinds and some of our most celebrated heroes simply acted under duress, leading a hopeless charge or some other act of insane self-sacrificing heroism. There is no doubt a value to stopping, pausing, waiting for a moment, three seconds, a minute, but at the same time these pauses can be too long, an opportunity to act forever lost.

One of my greatest dreads is being in a public place and seeing another man choking and failing to have the self-awareness to save him with the Heimlich maneuver. Sometimes I wonder, if I saw a child about to be hit by a truck, could I, would I sacrifice myself to save them? Some of our greatest moments are so wonderful because we act without thinking. I hope someday I have one of these selfless, thoughtless moments to reflect upon.

I can't seem to come to terms with life, and it feels like a complete facade. I am stuck having to interact with society because I don't have the knowledge or courage to refuse. I set momentary goals for myself and after the distraction of trying to achieve them is over I am still at the starting point of misery with nothing gained. I am having an extremely hard time seeing myself ever finding lasting meaning in anything and I keep talking myself out of doing so, there is always a valid critique to an idea or a plan but there is never an alternative that doesn't have the same issue. I think I have to come to terms with the fact that you make your own meaning but I am finding it difficult to stomach that we are here because of evolutionary mechanisms that weren't thought about or designed at all, it's all just the natural result of environment and circumstance. The reason I exist is simply because I do and for what? Why should I continue on? I feel barely any joy in anything which I suppose is the cause of me even considering my condition. I try to find answers in literature but I find it impossible to find any universal truth that doesn't directly relate to my physical and emotional well being. The fact that I stay alive and try to find a reason to justify doing so is completely illogical and feels like a pointless game at times.Tomorrow I will probably have a different view on it seemingly for no reason or I am able to stifle it more efficiently but I think about Sisyphus a lot and the futility of effort. It might be biological imperative that keeps me going because logically I can't seem to make sense of carrying on.

>>14375621
It's a cruel paradox how you can see the logical step in healing but doing so hurts more than acting on emotion.

Can you be a father if you never had one?

I am a fan of cancel culture. If it gets too crazy, then no, but I think it's fine as it is for now. People will say it's PC run amok. But it's not. It's very political and really has to do with class more than anything.

I have numerous avenues of escapism. If you want to take the enjoyment out of my escapism, then I'll take my patronage elsewhere. It's that simple. And honestly it's probably for the best. I should explore more of the world than return to my comfy niche programs. Shouldn't consume so goddamn much. Or at least consume more thoughtfully. I might need the underlying antagonism in order to stop.

Has a popular porn actress ever "retired" and become a mom? Can you imagine growing up to learn your mother got fucked by men on camera?

A Christmas funeral

>>14375726
Interesting perspective, I appreciate this post.

>>14375822
Go fuck yourself

>>14375822
>>14375726
>>>/trash/

I have begun to stimulate myself while reading these posts. Dog Blood's Make Bang buzzes while I attempt to achieve erection, succeed, and find release. From there, I clean myself. The song ends and urine now modulates the beating within my scrotum. I stare in the mirror, at the missing teeth that were knocked out by my hockey puck, and for the first time in a good while, I cry when I make eye contact with myself. I'm beautiful.

bros...

I'm sleepy I don't want to sleep

bump

I wish I could find someone that agreed with my politics.

>>14376848
It would help if you told us what they are.

>>14368276
Bad idea. It could take years to find something better.

>>14369918
Hitler is confirmed cuck

>>14376864
I'm economically left and culturally right, but as far removed from a Nazbol as possible.
>left side
Citizens should never have to worry about basic needs and should have things like housing, healthcare, and even food guaranteed by the state if they ever get desperate. Things that I would consider are basic for any group of people that's meant to stay cohesive and rely on one another. Things like roads, energy, etc. should all be handled as effectively as possible by the state.
>right side
I would like something close to a city state that's based on shared values and ideals. While I wouldn't say let's reject history entirely, I am very much opposed to the delusional views of history proposed by fascists and ethno-nationalists and the like. I would immediately accept a foreigner that follows the laws and adheres to the culture over some local-born retard that doesn't respect anything. There should be swift crackdowns on all enemies of the state, be they anarchists or fascists. While I'm not opposed to people having different parties, I see no room for a party that actively wants to destroy the society they're a part of. And as stated I have a deep respect for history, so I have nothing against there being hierarchies based around cultural norms and special places for certain groups. If a Muslim doesn't want a Jew to enter his mosque, that should be be acceptable.
>why I get into trouble with leftists
Leftists are strongly anticapitalist and think destroying capitalism is essential, along with abolishing everything else like race and gender. I don't particularly care so long as I know that my people's needs are met. If there aren't kids starving in the street or going hungry, I don't give a fuck if it's a capitalist system or a communist one. Economics should never be the main focus. And I don't think abolishing race and gender is right, nor do I think it would lead to some utopia.
>why I get into trouble with rightists
I don't care about nationality or history in the sense that they do. I also believe that any state that can't care for the needs of all its people, especially the most downtrodden, doesn't have a right to exist. Also, rightwingers are big on populism and I'm not. Anyone that invokes the will of the people or the spirit of a nation in a supernatural sense like they're calling upon Jesus to enter their body is a joke to me. Fascists are violent and have nothing constructive to offer, and I'd kill them all.

>>14376985
That's quite a mouthful anon; you could have just said 'pragmatism'.

>>14376985
So you’re a communist who hasn’t read communist theory. Said theory would make you understand why capitalism is inherently incompatible with your ideal state, which is communist.

>>14377005
I'm not a pragmatist in any way, though. I don't put utilitarianism and rationality first.

>>14377014
>So you’re a communist
What makes you say that?

>>14377015
Well I dunno, it all sounds very pragmatic (with a little p, of course) to me. 'Just do whatever so long as it benefits the citizens' and what not.

Im below average person.

>>14367528
I just emailed my Student Union asking if they were entering a team into University Challenge this year, then I found out that the deadline for applying was back in November. So embarrassing.

>>14377019
>>14377019
>Just do whatever so long as it benefits the citizens
I wouldn't say whatever, though I guess it's hard to establish without any concrete example. But what benefits people is I think pretty loose beyond basic health and security. If 99% of people wanted some weirdo gone that never broke the law or did anything wrong, I wouldn't say let's kick him out because that would make them happier. If that's a reason to be unhappy, they can go fuck themselves. Same for them taking offense at one guy's art or photos or what have you. So long as you aren't going against the state, public lynchings of this kind should be punished severely.
Or to take a more modern scenario, I wouldn't not take refugees just because it makes some people "uncomfortable". If they break the law, sure, send them back; but if someone is legitimately desperate and they're willing to put in the work to be a part of my home, I would never send them away because some faggot doesn't like how their language sounds or the look of their facial features.
I believe you have an obligation to provide basic care and facilities for citizens, but you have no obligation, and actively shouldn't do shit that they want that go against your values, even if they all want it. I'm not for democracy, which is why I'm confused by >>14377014 calling me a communist. I'm also not against religion or spirituality in the slightest. I would even be okay with a theocratic state so long as it acted within reason. All I'm saying is that there should be a prerequisite baseline of decency for any state to fulfill. If a kid is sick and you're not helping him because "lol his parents were poorfags, shouldn't have had kids, I guess..." then that isn't a state worth protecting in the slightest. Its leaders should be executed.

Asian boys have beautiful dark eyes. Is that yellow fever? I don't know.

>>14375687
would you mind expanding on that? Unironically thanks for the (you), I feel comforted by you replying

>>14375690
absolutely. Break the chain of abusive parents and be a kick-ass dad (no but seriously, yes you can and if you're aware of your experience of lacking you can counter your impulses that it encourages

Why do trannies always choose names that are stripper tier?

>>14377179
Why are YOU hanging out with so many trannies that you would even notice that.

>>14377188
I don't hang out with any, but I see them on my Twitter feed.

>>14375786
No only learn that, but being able to see that and also knowing everybody could se your mother being blacked at any time... Yep, not a healthy thing. I hope they never have any children.

>>14377256
Stop following so many then.

>>14377298
I follow 0.

>>14377188
>>14377298
>he thinks you have to go specifically seek out trannies in order to interact with them
do you live under a rock

This girl I met a few months ago just left, she went back to her home country. We used to walk together a lot and would talk nonstop, and as the weeks went by our conversations got more personal. She'd smile and laugh a lot with me and I liked making her happy because she made me happy, and I started loving her. But I eventually stopped talking to her, I got angry at her for acting stupid, and she didn't understand why I stopped talking. Sometimes I'd see her looking over at me, waiting for me to say something to her and I'd look away, remembering my anger.

But she's still on my mind, and last night I dreamed about her. It was just like in real life, she looked at me, shyly stealing looks at me and I'd keep my eyes away from her, because if I spoke to her I might release a whole lot of anger that I know she wouldn't understand or be able to handle. And I walked away like always, without saying good bye

.

>>14375675
>I try to find answers in literature but I find it impossible to find any universal truth that doesn't directly relate to my physical and emotional well being

If I found a universal truth directly relating to my physical emotional well being I'd be happy. Not sure what you mean by this. So you found the theoretical concept of God or something alike accepted it and it makes you feel good but feeling good does not give you any goal or a sense of direction what to do next so you feel hopeless nontheless?

>>14369423
>>"well, men's problems are also caused by the patriarchy!"
>Is there a way to circunvent this idiodic argument
By not arguing when you don't actually have to. Just say "sure" and continue. You weren't talking about the source of the problems anyways, just the problems.

>>14369423
"patriarchy" these days in first world is just a false enemy.
government sends men to war. government denies abortion. government issues unjust jail times.

>>14377833
who cares about women

>>14367528
Tiny females don't make sense, you wouldn't be able to breed with them.
Tiny males not only make sense, but are far more optimized, as they do not negatively affect reproduction, but it fact save resources for the species as a whole.
Giantess fetishism is the most high IQ fetish there is.

>>14378401
based arguented giantess fetish poster

I'm approximately 1.5 litres deep into some Australian Shiraz for the third night in a row. I cannot tell if I love or hate the woman I'm currently involved with, and have been involved with for the last 5 years. I say "involved" because I have no better way of saying what is actually happening between us. She's not my girlfriend and doesn't even seem to like me, but can't live without me. Unrelated, I didn't do enough world-building prior to starting my military sci-fi novel and now I'm paying the price 25,000 words in. Also, hiccups.

>>14378394
The state of the world is a reflection of how women everywhere are treated.

>>14378455
hey man im like prety much exactly the same except im pretty close with my girlfirned i just have a feeling i must sacrifice her for god

>>14377833 go meet her dude. anyone teels you " who care about waaahmen" just hasnt met a good one

For the passed year I have been obsessed with OJ Simpson... whenever I meet a black person I have to bring him up within the first 2 minutes of conversation or I start thinking really violent thoughts.

>>14378401
>but it fact save resources for the species as a whole.
Explain yourself anon, I didn't get this part.

>>14376985
I actually hold somewhat similar views, anon.
Also I don't much care for race or ancestry but I believe in homogeneous cultural norms based on local tradition. And that noble values and culture should be promoted.
Know of any literature for this feel? Closest I can think of is Nietzsche.

>>14377019
nope! you are wrong and over simplifying the situation. i win, bye bye!

>>14378646
How about KING by David Faldet?

I have studied Philosophy and Biology at school... I have loved both, but I am wishing I had done something other than Philosophy. I feel like the endgame for philosophy is realizing that the humanities need philosophers, or those learned in the philosophical tradition. I would love to do Psychology or Neuroscience now, but the way the academy is set up, I am not likely to have a great career if I go to a grad school that would be willing to take me for those subjects.

>>14378646
read the wikipedia page on singapore. you guyz are literally talm bout singapore nigga ! HAHA

>>14378719
you sound like a boring faggot.

>>14373907
>Listen, anon -BUUUUUURRRPPPPPPPPP-, i hate to break it to you but what people call "Love" is just an exchange of sexual favours for ressources of any kind -BUUUUUUURRRRRPPP-... It hits hard, anon, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in hypocrisy, bullshit, and a waste of time. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Anon -BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURPP-... Rise above. Focus on cultivating your virtus, pleb.

>>14367528
“I viddied that thinking is for the gloopy ones and that the oomny ones use like inspiration and what Bog sends.”

The world is rule by authority not rationality.

>>14378719
>>14378764

>>14378401
Also the least masculine heterosexual attraction

>>14367528
I can't believe I started a story, and I can't believe I still want to come to this site

>>14378800
What do you mean?

>>14367528
I feel braindead most of the time, can hardly focus, don't have thoughts to discuss, syntax is shit, comprehension ability reduced compared to years ago

Life is but a walking dream. The question is how we wake.

I WISH I COULD FUCKING HASTEN THE AWAKENING OF THE GREAT OLD ONES FUCK THIS LITTLE SHITHOLE PLANET AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YOU ALL

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

>>14379115
You never wake up. The dream slowly descends into madness and then it's just nothing, forever.

>>14379115
Read No Way Out by U.G. Krishnamurti.

Poopfard

>>14367528
If I carry on drinking the way I do I will be dead at age 40 and I have no intention of stopping ever.

>>14370369
painfully relatable

My life would have been easy for anybody else to live.

>>14379622
But then it wouldn't be your life, would it.

damn it's near midnight and i only wrote three lines of my Christmas poem, well i guess i'm not sleeping tonight.

>>14379629
Sure. Can't even find anybody willing to take over my life either.

>>14378601
>go meet her dude
No, I don’t think I will

just discovered the heavier than normal, doesnt dress too well, average looking, 5'4, college drop-out co-worker is dating the cute co-worker.

i dont know why this discovery hit me harder than one would expect. perhaps because its a mirror indirectly shining a reflection of my as a person. i no longer pine for a gf like in my younger days, although it would be dishonest to state i dont have some desire for sexual intimacy and relationships.

something is wrong with me, and its not due to some in-born, immutable trait. nor is it due to someone else's fault. but something is clearly wrong with me.

>seriously, why am i still sticking around on this earth
just kidding, haha! but not really.

>get on the board to maybe see a thread about a work i have read and get some discussions going
>every second thread has a cute girl as the thumbnail
>every third thread has something to do love/relationships/sex
Well, ok then. Guess i'am just going to slowly decay until i finally get the courage to kms

>>14377361
I've never met one in my life.

I'm afraid. I fear not being loved by a woman. I want to be loved so bad. I want to love someone and I want someone to pull me deep into them and tell me they love me and that I'm not going to die alone in my bedroom

>>14380945

>>14380945
Stfu.

>>14369862
yes.

>>14378646
same

Black is the target of my procreational pestilence
I skim the skin open with my razor; I split the nigger in two

Nigger flayed and splayed open wide
Nigger sprayed with chemical, seared his hide
Nigger crushed and fed into the forest fire
Nigger cunt assblasted with colonoscopic ire

Nigger dick hammered and nailed; The results fantastic
Nigger balls split and his anus spasmastic

Baby niggerling exits the womb
Shoved right back, now drowns in his tomb

Black is the target of my procreational pestilence
I skim the skin open with my razor; I split the nigger in two

Defaced defecators, colostomic castration
Darkling alight, i masturbate with fascination

Smoke covered curtains, the police is called
Upon hearing of my niggers, neither man stalled

Policeman ass-rape babynigger now
I watch with joyous rapture, to the niggerkiller i bow

I really need to vent all my girl problems to someone irl

I was born in a small town, a city we call it but to others, might as well be a village. All my life I've known this small place, irrelevant place really, middle of nowhere, from space, few lights can be seen.
There is so much more, superimposed, out there, it's all growing, how can we match it anon?

>>14381631
please keep the tiny light on, dont die, anon's village
it's only in places like that you find soul

>>14381631
>There is so much more, superimposed, out there, it's all growing
it's evil and it's gonna get you if you're not careful

oyasumi punpun is overrated

>>14381770
>soul
I wouldn't call it like that, soul and soulless, a meme but what does it mesn to you?
>>14381793
What do you mean?

an anon said "just do things as they come" when asked I advice here some time ago
since that day i heard these words every time i had to face something that would otherwise overwhelm and cripple me
his message was so comforting to me, like some kind of guidance no else in my life had provided
or perhaps they did but i was blind to see? i don't know
but his words allowed me to finally heal and go forward
thank you so much

This one time we were dissecting piglets. My friend had carved through her piglet's skull and perfectly removed its brain. She cycled around the room showing everyone her handiwork. I wanted to hold my piglet's brain too. I really did. But carving through the skull was harder than I thought it'd be. It required a lot of force and I accidentally punctured my piglet's brain which was very soft. Again, I can't reiterate this enough, I really wanted to hold a clean, miniature brain in the palm of my hand. So I stared at my piglet's punctured brain for several minutes before whipping the whole thing into a froth.

>>14367651
not sure about the datamining threads, but the write what's on your mind threads are comfy

>>14370148
based shitpost

It's been almost a week and not a single person remembered my birthday, not even my gf and parents even though I have a good relationship with everyone around me.
Yet for some reason I'm not even sad about it, quite the opposite, I actually find comfort in this, the fact that no one pays enough attention to me fills me with a sense of freedom, it's very hard to articulate but I feel like I could die at this particular moment without having to worry about leaving someone behind, as if I am not chained by anyone's expectations or needs.
Also, books for this feel /lit/bros

>>14381957
> but what does it mean to you?
there is a limited amount of people you can care about, and people you can call "locals" sincerely too. familiar places compose your Home.
i was born in a capital of 12 mil, and I'd never call this place home instead of birthplace, or "where I live". the crowds are vile like their ugly dwellings. mine too is ugly on the outside.
for me, soul is the feeling that you get in tiny places, where life is calm and buildings small

>>14382175
be more careful next time, medbro

>>14382230
not even your parents?

>>14382267
not even my parents, then again I'm 22 so maybe it's understandable

>>14367545
This post is seriously /fit/pol/r9k/ worthy, why would you even come here if that's you're mindset?

>>14382230
Happy birthday, anon! I don't know how much comfort it is, but I remember when I turned 19 and nobody remembered mine, either. It just seems to be something which happens to all of us at a certain point.

Maybe this year you need to seek out some people who actually love and appreciate you.

>>14382260
Kek

I have poor social skills but I am "getting out there" and trying to figure it out. One thing I notice is I act less aggressive toward women. I am more willing to emotionally injure men. Do they recognize I am giving them an easy time or do they mistake this for "who I am". Do they appreciate this or is it condescending and weak? I just don't feel the same desire to hurt women as men.

>>14382480
Why would you ever want to hurt anybody?

>>14382480
>I am more willing to emotionally injure men.
How do you plan to succeed on this?

>>14382512
Not in some big or pre meditated way. Social injury is a better term. Putting people down.

>>14381491
Put it in a poem
Read, reread till you’re sick of it
Put the poem away
Reread a year later
Burn The poem
Repeat.

>>14382480
vice versa for me. I'm neutral to everybody by default, but when there are teenage girls who act cringy and pity themselves to no end, subtle bullying and invalidation begins. I do, of course, call whiny men worthless faggots on here, but it's not the same for men won't care

cunny...just cunny...always...

>>14382587
What kind of childhood trauma did you suffer?

>>14382587
please kill yourself

>>14382421
Thank you fren

>>14382588
>mom caught me with the dog when i was 8
>wouldn't take me to school until i told her what i was doing
>finally tell her, she says it's okay to masturbate with lotion or soap, not with the dog
>friend's mom catches me with friend's dick in my mouth when we're 11
>we'd been using the dog that way too
>friend's mom sends me home, we stop being friends
>listen and walk in on mom having sex with several men over the course of adolescence
>masturbate to mom's moans and groans
>mom catches me with girl after school
>13 at the time girl has shirt off, my pants are unbuttoned
>had been making out for several months, never had sex
>mom tells girl she shouldn't be doing this to get some boy to like her
>tells girl's parents about it
>girl calls my mom a bitch
>mom picks up phone and hears me talking to girl
>girl says something about giving me a blowjob
>mom hears and summons me to her room over the phone
>gives me stern talking to
>spent entire childhood mocked for being overweight by family, especially mother
>many, many other things, too tired to relate here

>>14382663
even if true doesnt justify pedophilia i would kill you if i had the shot

>>14382663

>>14382777

>>14382663
boohoo mom tried her best but it's her fault i'm hurting innocent kids!

>>14367528
OP is a faggot

>>14382821
why do mother's always get a pass? if a father is a philandering, abusive alcoholic he's a piece of shit, a mother acts the same way and she always 'tried her best.'

>>14382840
does he say anything about an abusive or alcoholic mom? i can only apprehend that she tried to deal with the awkward stuff in a reasonable but also awkward way (and failed since he became a torturer).

>>14380014
go lewd her neet

>>14367528
My head is always hurting. I really want what I say and feel to matter, or at least to be somewhat worthwhile. It isn't, that makes the headache worse. That's no issue, really, given that much worse things happen to much less deserving people. What's my headache? I'm the worse person for hoping what I feel is much worse than I think, so that I don't have to feel such guilt for feeling it's important. The headache continues in a cycle. I want it to stop, but my guilt gnaws at me. I want it to mean something if it won't stop. The cycle continues.

This year, I'm going to finally go the way the wind is blowing and stop socializing until I can get around a better class of person. I've put too much effort into myself to keep socializing with the retards around me.

in morning winter light horse coats shimmer so brightly and finely you can't deny there's a divine touch in that

>>14368869
Try looking on Erowid

>>14383861
I wanted to learn to ride horses but my parents said it was too gay

>>14383868
be sure to let your children pursue any hobby, especially as noble as horses. work is quite hard and demanding, teaches responsibility. also, many horse girls are fit and weird enough to not mind your autism

>>14382681
>>14382821
>same age
I'm more worried about the dog. It doesn't justify anon remaining attracted to children now though, if he is.

>>14383914
The dog is probably dead by now. They don't live for very long.

>>14367528
I want to write good poetry...
but it's going to take a lifetime to learn I feel.
I've already started collecting poets I'm going to let influence my writings until I can figure out my own style

>>14367528
I had a dream where I worked at a pizzeria and our shift meal was a pizza with onions on it, and I asked why not pepperonis and was told that the floor magnetized pepperonis. I tried making a pepperoni pizza myself but as soon as I pulled it out of the oven the tray buckled and it went flat on the floor. But, I turned the pepperonis upside down, so the pizza would float instead, and I ate floating pizza. Thanks.

A week later I finally got a call back from the psych center and have an appointment in two weeks. Are things, dare I say it, turning around?

How do I find people to debate? I want to train my skills but I'm too embarrassed to do it on Twitch or something and have it be recorded but I feel I'm probably awful.

>>14375786
simple mathematics will tell you that a large amount of future generations will experience "I found your mom's old insta/facebook/pornhub pics". It will probably a meme by 2040.

The only sane course of action in this world is to accumulate enough money to leave the wage system. This is of course easier said than done. I’ve been trying to reduce my expenses to make it easier. I’ve started growing vegetables and foraging for fruit and nuts during my walks in the forest near my home. I feel like a lunatic hauling back huge bags of acorns to boil and grind into flour, but you do what you gotta do.

The more i read the more i realize that my neurosis is incurable.

>>14367528
I know you want what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know it eats you up inside I know, you know, you know, you know.

>>14385415
Well if you feel that picking up acorns is more fulfilling that flipping burgers, all the more power to you.

Earlier today I sat outside an apartment complex I used to know. The trees jutted over the surrounding bushed metal walls, clear in view where I sat. It was a simple park bench, with a plastic coating, a faded green, and stabs of pencils from the school bus kids as they waited for a parent. Looking at the poms of leaves bounce around, I wanted to fill in the obscured with a palisades. Just a nice texture of grass and folded hills into the distance.
Cut down the obstruction and you'd be met with the cracked roads we all use. Then it came to me how often I saw the world the way the land surveyors saw it. We forget how you can just toss the maps they've filled in.
A feeling of abjection followed after since I never toss any maps.

>>14383391
where are the high caliber people you speak of?

Isn't nicotine a natural insecticide? Is the fairy part bug because it has bug wings? if so is it going to die soon?

Do people actually experience sex, love, and intimacy? It seems so alien a concept. I feel deeply that no woman could ever love me.

>>14386603
Nobody could ever love a phoneposter.

>>14386612

The holidays are difficult. I experience most of life as spectator, but especially so at Christmas. I have no family of my own, no wife, no kids. Even though I'm a "part" of the celebration, I am just an observer, like Scrooge peering through the window at things he can't celebrate himself. When my family members do talk to me, they know not to ask anything personal. They have some instinct that I have no personal life, no friends, no news. I somehow repel people. Because of my ugly face, they won't even look at me for more than a second before looking away. Sometimes they'll ask one polite question before moving on, if that. If I couldn't drink, I wouldn't be able to bear it.

>>14385494
But it is

>>14386603
woah she's super cute

When child cries sincerely
Heavens rejoice

>>14387567
Die.

>>14372406
they're pretty /lit/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_War
>The lyrics are from the James Joyce book Ulysses in Chapter 11: Sirens

>>14367528
I have many fictional girls who I' in love with. I want to write stories where I can be together with them. Does anyone else write to fulfill their loneliness?

>>14388566
>Does anyone else write to fulfill their loneliness?
All fanfiction writers

>>14388566
I used to have a waifu, and I used that as a kind of writing exercise. Unfortunately, though I loved her very much, she wasn't a character with a whole lot of screen-time or depth, so eventually I ran out of things to write about.

It's almost a mirror of how most of my IRL relationships ended, too.

>>14388615
I've come to realize that I've never cared about my irl gfs in the same way I care about these girls I create for myself. I've romanticized these girls to the point where I feel genuine love for them. I try to fall asleep thinking about them so that I can see them in my dreams. Whenever I wake up from a dream with them I feel empty.

I am beginning to think being alone can be a positive presence if you let it take over. I want to sit here for awhile.

Happy winter solstice, anons. Have a great day.

Merry weekend anons, having my morning tea and looking forward to getting some reading in :3