/lit/ - Literature

>>14327241
girls don't react that way to faggy poetry; they react that way when you whip out either a 9' cock or a wad of cash

"You're breaking up with me because of something you read on the fucking internet? On 4chan?" There was an undertone of explosive anger in her voice, just barely held back by sheer disbelief. I explained to her that I hadn't come to the conclusion lightly. She knew I have difficulties with race-mixing. We'd talked about it many times. "I thought you were joking. I thought you said it was 'ironic'?" She emphasized the word as if to mock me. I explained that just because something is ironic, doesn't mean it isn't true. "So you're, what, you're a white supremacist, now? I thought you said that was 'Reddit'? You read some incel bullshit on the internet, and suddenly you don't find me attractive?" I confirmed that white nationalism was, in fact, fairly Reddit, but stated that mild ethnonationalism had become geopolitically necessary even if it meant associating with Redditors. I also denied finding her unattractive. "So if you still like me, why are you breaking up with me?" Of course I still like her, I said. She's very attractive, I said. "Then why are you doing this?" I explained to her that her racial ambiguity was attractive to a part of me that I had become resolved to slough off, a second skin forced upon me by my upbringing in a deracinated multicultural megalopolis. I explained that I found her attractive in the way that my brain found cotton candy delicious, despite the fact that it's fibreglass installation laced with Jewish corn syrup. I told her that when I kiss her now, I feel like I'm kissing a changeling, something sent to deceive me. Something artificially sweet, with an aftertaste of plastic BPAs, or overheated teflon. "Do you know how out of your league I am? I'm taller than you for fuck's sake. I literally can't believe this is happening right now. I can't believe I thought I should settle." I agreed that she was out of my league, but told her that I had been reading Hamsun's "Growth of the Soil," and that I wouldn't mind a harelip wife, provided we could start a farm together, far away from 5G radiation towers. I told her we could still be friends, and asked if she wanted to read Hamsun with me. After a few seconds she closed her Macbook and she left.

>>14327241
your own you uncreative bitch

>>14327520
Oh yeah? Tell me yours

>>14327241
The lyrics of Geezer Butler of Black Sabbath. I say this unironically. Read her the lyrics from N.I.B.

She looks like my ex :(

>>14327241
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I bought you a car.
Here's my bank account too.

>>14327241
Roses are red
Parsley is green
I like your legs
But I love what's between

>>14327241
Waifu shit really needs to be a bannable offense

>>14327241
In my experience the only time it works is if they are already in love with you. I gave my gf a poem for our anniversary, written inside of Love in the Time of Cholera, and she seemed to really like it.

>>14327241
Maldoror

>>14327580
What is so offensive to you about it?

>her face when you propose to her

>>14327241
The tiger
He destroyed his cage
Yes
YES
The tiger is out

>>14327241
Coomers I want you to understand why we hate you.
We dont hate you because what you post is "NSFW". Remember where the fuck you are, we are each about 1 click away from watching women with 12 inch cocks fucking each other. And at one point this site even had guro and loli boards. Oh my god you posted a pussy! This totally shocks my unenlightened puritan mind.
No, we hate you because you are the new furfags. You see, the problem with furfags, wasnt that they jerked off to furry shit, it was that they were so fucking obnoxious about it. Everything had to be made furry. Every forum avatar had to be a fursona. They had to constantly broadcast the fact that they were furfags to everyone, and when this was met with derision, they doubled down on their effort. They labeled the rational reaction to their faggotry "fursecution" and actively set out to be the biggest faggots they could possibly be to combat it.
Coomers are exactly the same. I have yet to see a single board on this site that doesnt regularly have off topic derails about ass or tits. Always with animebikini.jpg and ranting about how hot she is. It doesnt matter how off topic it is, coomers cant help but broadcast the fact that they are coomers.
What does the chest size of some instagram thot have to do with this thread? I mean, really what does it add to the conversation about the randomness? Jack shit. All it does is send out a big loud signal to everyone in the thread that LOOK AT ME! I AM SO HORNY! YOU SHOULD POST PORN!
TL;DR Coomers are just the same as furfags only their "fursecution" is called "SFW".
Prove. Me. Wrong.

>>14327626
You have to go back

>>14327248
>nine foot cock
it's over for dicklets

>>14327618
coom

>>14327604
Just an excuse to spam unrelated shit

>>14327643
t. zoomer redditor

>>14327520
This. If you're not capable of writing something tailored to her name and appearance you shouldn't be on this board.

>>14327241
definitely your own. my pottery has definitely impressed some chicks in my life.

once i showed this tinder chick a piece i wrote for an ex and she responded, "God, I want you so bad right now."

stupid fucking whore.

>>14327241
"War is the father of all, the king of all, some it makes gods, some it makes men, some it makes slaves, some it makes free."

this post is tiring
a brain is required
for the admiring

>>14327241
*one* *two* *one* *two*
Ayo,
yuh
Ayo
Check it
Bitch, nigga, drugs, nigga, ply a bish wit drugs nigga. Come back my house get raped by a horse dick nigga. *das rite* I ain't playin', I be out here money makin', motives ulterior schlomo's mixed race undertakin'. *yo* Where da white wimminz at? It be reparations if bitch's ass is fat. Contraception? No nigga got time fo' dat. Abandon chillinz so I's got time to not work cyka blyat...*Ayo*.....*yo*...

>>14327626
based

>>14327241
forlorn amidst the stars the moon did hang
and graced mine eyes with lonely pallid sheen
but Hark! an unknown man appeared who sang:
come gaze upon the maiden i have seen
whose massive, youthful breasts be in full bloom,
fair milkers larger than the moon above,
bazingas big enough to make thou coom,
so huge i think; perhapst thou fall in love!
and gaze i did upon her mommy jugs,
whose radiance did revel 'gainst the moon's,
and thought of that orb - never giving hugs -
of then embracing her two big balloons.

mine heart had made its final decision:
look on her tits with all your precision,
forget ye yonder moon, and all the rest,
she has her own twin moons upon her chest!

>>14327241
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhvqED3Ud48

>>14327241
>woman supposedly having emotional reaction
>filming herself doing it

>'Twas too soon, I was defeated; My phone app had not deleted
>She had sent another message worse that what had come before
>Never mind they're different races! Gotta pay for Jayden's braces!
>I was in a dry spell, though, and thought she'd be an easy score
>So I said "Let's have a date" so I could get that easy score
>Pump and dump and nothing more.

>When I saw her, 'twas astonished! How could she be so dishonest!
>Her profile pic was taken six or seven years before
>She had dyed her hair to blue and 'cross her chest, the worst tattoo
>And her weight had gone up by about a hundred pounds or more
>And the bill for this date sure would be a hundred bucks or more
>Shoulda simply got a whore

>When we got to conversation, it was an abonmination
>I'm a third-wave feminist, a social justice warrior!
>All the rich are salamanders! Gotta vote for Bernie Sanders!
>If it is equality you want, let's even up the score
>"You have eaten twice as much as I, so even up the score:
>I'll pay mine and you pay yours."

>"Waiter!" said I. "Checks are separate!" That was when she got so desparate
>But my food stamps only pay for what I can buy from a store!
>"Well I'm treating you as equal! This date will not have a sequel!"
>Threw my fair share on the table as I started for the door
>Then she tried to follow me as I was headed for the door
>Go on Tinder? Nevermore.

>Stop! she yelled. But I kept walking. I'll do anal! she kept talking
>I was down the street and now ahead of her a block or more
>She was panting, she was sweating, all her fat she was regretting
>Turned the corner, ducked into the Uber I had called before
>She could not see I was in the Uber I had called before
>Go on Tinder? Nevermore.

>And the fatty, never learning, still is online, still is yearning
>On the Tinder that will ever validate her as before
>And she'll rue all the "unfairness", lacking any self-awareness
>While she tells her sons that they're at fault and should pay taxes more
>But I will not be the one to fund her lifestyle evermore
>Single mothers -- Nevermore!

>>14328510
8/10

>>14328494
Youtube 'tards eat this shit up with a spoon and beg for more.

>>14327855
How do I get better at writing poetry? The only poem I ever wrote a girl was to explain my ED.

>>14328494
She's an actress anon

>>14328845
nothing worse than a mexican girl's hairline.

>>14327648
Moderate kek

>>14327643
I got a blood test on 3 faps a day that put me in the upper limit of test. If I do nofap will I be double over the limit? What will that so to me.

>>14327241
weird i was thinking about this pic today

>>14328845
The small hairs can be cute

>>14327250
nice

>>14327241
Μηνιν αειδε θεα πηληιαδεω αχιλληως ουλομενην...

>>14328430
underrated

>>14327549
Wow it's pretty

>>14327241
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Look at my face and my 6'3 athletic body.

>>14329964
Forgot to mention this one only works for some.

>>14328430
I've been looking for this. Thank you

>>14327241
don't wanna brag, but in high school french class I recited Première soirée by Rimbaud and two girls got interested in me right away.
Wasn't into them too much though..
and I'm not sure they understood the text, really

>>14327241
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I don't care about you
toodle-loo

>>14327241
It really doesn’t matter, just be sure to write your poem on a wad of bills

>>14327855
>chasing after women
>making a clown of yourself for the entertainment of some used up wench
no, sonny, it's YOU who shouldn't be on this board

The phantom
Exterior like fish-eggs
Interior like suicide wrist-wraps
I could exorcise you
This could be your phys-ed
Chead on your man, homie
AAAAAAGH
Tried to sneak through the door man
Can't make
CAN'T MAKE
THIS SHIT IS STUCK
OUTTA MY WAY SON
DOOR STUCK
DOOR STUCK
Please
I BEG YOU - WE'RE DEAD
>Cook a grenade
YOU'RE A G-G-GENUINE DICK SUCKER

>>14327241
The Iliad desu

>>14327250
Good read.

Just tell her tell her something that makes her seem special in your eyes. "I can't imagine a world where I don't get to talk with you again"

>>14330267
okay like, "i can't inagine a world where i don't get to grab your tits again," then grab her by the tits?

You love us when we're heroes, home on leave,
Or wounded in a mentionable place.
You worship decorations; you believe
That chivalry redeems the war's disgrace.
You make us shells. You listen with delight,
By tales of dirt and danger fondly thrilled.
You crown our distant ardours while we fight,
And mourn our laurelled memories when we're killed.
You can't believe that British troops “retire”
When hell's last horror breaks them, and they run,
Trampling the terrible corpses—blind with blood.
O German mother dreaming by the fire,
While you are knitting socks to send your son
His face is trodden deeper in the mud.

>>14327549
Sabbra Cadabra unironically

>>14327550
>N.I.B.

lucky duck

>>14327250
>you're a white supremacist, now?
>supremacist followed by comma and then now

>>14329348
She will not be impressed in the least if you disregard the accents and breathings

Is there any verbal code i can incant that will cuase some sort of synaptic reflex and inebriate them?

pee pee so small
when pee
pee on balls

>>14327241
That's Dora the whora, isn't it?

>>14327241
the ones that have numbers and dead white men on them. Do people really eat up this women like artsy fartsy shit in men thing ?

>>14327250
kek

>>14327580
Oh yeah? Asuka is my waifu and Rei my misusutresu, what are you gonna do about it incel?

>>14327618
based

>>14328510

>>14327250
>not inseminating her to further your own genes

your ancestors literally furthered their own folk by raping other peoples for fucks sake

>>14327241
>friend gets married
>finally meet his wife
>we sit and talk
>he starts picking on me because I'm single
>I remind him that he called me up in the middle of the night last year, depressed, drunk, asking "WHERE'S THE GIRL I LOVE?"
>his wife is the OP

fucking bastards, I have to waste my Kerouac lines on them

>>14327241
Thank you for reminding me of my irresistible urge to mate with non-white women.

uhh this girl later told me that reciting this was the only thing that made her think i wasn't some shallow douche and yes she would sleep with me so

LIFE IS FINE BY LANGSTON HUGHES

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

But it was High up there! It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love—
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry—
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!

>>14327241
This bitch is fake af and a slut now

>>14327241
Listen bitch, I'm dat gorilla dick nigga. I make dyke pussy wet. You got about 10 seconds to show me that hole, cause this gorilla dick daddy's hungry. And if you don't blow me right, I might kill you.

>>14332036
God where is this from? I know its from a movie, what movie?

Or what show?

>>14332006
ok coomer

>>14332052
>he doesn't know

>>14327241
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Peep the jawline babe
And my aesthetics too

>>14332130
Oh yeahhh HAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHHAHAAHH

I knew I just didn't remember. God Sam Hyde's show was the best thing on Adult Swim.

>>14332214
yeah adult swim was the only TV i ever really watched, so after they cancelled world peace and started shilling rick and morty i finally quit watching tv

>>14327917
Could you post it for reference

>>14332266
I've got Hulu now

My shows are...

Superstore
Shark Tank
And then the cartoons (like Family Guy and Simpsons and South Park) are OK.

I don't know A&E has some good stuff, I like Hoarders and Intervention. I honestly can't believe how bad some people have it.

To be completely honest though, most programming is shit. And don't even get me started on the talk shows these days holy fuck...

I've had like no money forever but the Hulu and Spotify package is 10 bucks a month so even though my bank account is flatting constantly at zero I've been able to coast through while affording Spotify and Hulu somehow, lol. I remember I was paying for that shit before I even had internet.

>>14332305
my parents were hoarders...

>>14332289
sure:

forlorn amidst the stars the moon did hang
and graced mine eyes with lonely pallid sheen
but Hark! an unknown man appeared who sang:
come gaze upon the maiden i have seen
whose massive, youthful breasts be in full bloom,
fair milkers larger than the moon above,
bazingas big enough to make thou coom,
so huge i think; perhapst thou fall in love!
and gaze i did upon her mommy jugs,
whose radiance did revel 'gainst the moon's,
and thought of that orb - never giving hugs -
of then embracing her two big balloons.

mine heart had made its final decision:
look on her tits with all your precision,
forget ye yonder moon, and all the rest,
she has her own twin moons upon her chest!

>>14332324
Really bad ones or...?

>>14332396
pretty fuckin bad desu. i'm severely hung up about it to this day

>>14327241
Endymion - John Keats

>>14332437
Sucks man. Probably hurt your childhood growing up

>>14327241
fart in her face

>>14327241
The air is quite pungent
My nostrils taken aback
I yearn for a single sniff
Of thy sweaty ass crack

>>14332468
yeah i have zero self esteem and i could never have friends over or anything so i never really tried to make friends; a girlfriend? fucking forget about it. and it doesn't help that my parents never taught me how to love or show affection. i'm probably schizoid because i haven't talked to anyone outside work in 3 years. i've never been close to another human in my entire life. life is not worth fucking living without love.

It's nice to see Moner triggers "women" on boards other than /tv/.

>>14332521
Don't worry: everything will get better :3

>>14332684
yes once i die

>>14332729
No, once you live :3

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I gotta big dick
Suck it bitch

Hickory dickory dock
This bitch was sucking my cock
The clock struck one
I started to cum
I emptied in her throat like a glock

>>14328845
A una pequeña actriz, tan diminuta
que es de los liliputos favorita,
y que a todos el culo facilita:
¿es exageración llamarle puta?

Por mucho que se diga y se discuta
ella es tan servicial, que cuando cita,
las vergas que recibe de visita
ornamenta con una cagarruta.

Cuando logra que un golfo se la embuta,
en gritos de placer se desgañita
y gráciles piruetas ejecuta.

Y satisfecha abrocha su levita,
y corre al excusado y le tributa
los górgoros de mecos que vomita.

>>14327241
The poetry that makes you a 6'3" ripped centi-millionaire, dummy.

>>14327250
>just because something is ironic, doesn't mean it isn't true
kek

>>14327250
>An undertone of explosive anger
>Undertone
Fucking 'ell

>>14327241
Chinese love poetry