/lit/ - Literature

Day 536: Today I smoked weed and shitposted on 4chan. I still don't have any money because I keep spending it on weed.

>>14289452
12/03/2019
I need pussy, I feel sad and I hate jews

My dick hurt for around an hour today after masturbating. I should probably get that checked out. It was the worst pain I have experienced since the last time it hurt that bad.

>I am a superman. I can do whatever I please. If I want to I can do a lot. I can make some toast. I can not make some toast, too. That is, it is up to me !

>>14289459
>>14289460
>>14289465
>>14289468
Pathetic.

>>14289474
Rude.

>>14289486
me in the middle left

>>14289459
>>14289460
>>14289465
>>14289468
This is why people with low IQs shouldn't be allowed to handle irony.

>>14289486
me on the left

>>14289497
Mine about the toast wasn't ironic. For a few days I had been spending all my time doing things I didn't really want to do. I was trying to convince myself that I really do have control over my actions. No irony involved.

dec/05

I think the jews are finally catching up to me. Every thread is directed at me, specially the ones who seem the most unrelated.
Better delete my browsing history.

>>14289497
Mine about my dick pain wasn't ironic. It was agony.

>>14289497
I was not ironic man, I really need pussy, hate jews and feel sad

>>14289498
butterfly? :3

12/3/2019
A gray day with a cold wind pushing through the valley of our concrete tilt-up warehouses. Let me drink down the dreariness of life in a gulp and feel the contentedness of unearned dopamine coursing through my veins. There is comfort in the inhospitality of this pre-snow winter.

I hate myself, everyone else, and this world, and I want to die.

>>14289531
same

>>14289452
12/01/2019:
lazy lazy not oding any woooooooooooooooooork
that's it, that's the entire entry
somebody please kill me, i don't deserve the life i've been given

November 18th Monday
Read Schopenhauer's Art Of Literature. Think I'm going to finish it today. He talked about there being two kinds of authors. The first is the kind who has an idea he wishes to express, the second wants money. He says
much of the bad writing published is caused by this desire for money. He says it's vital to find the best way to describe each idea. There should never be a sentence which isn't expressing a core idea.
It's important to neither under describe nor over describe. Says that it's best to present complex ideas in simple ways. Says it's best to begin writing with the idea already in mind. Great book.

How much suffering in the world is caused by a fear of suffering?

Basically, we exist, somehow. We don't know how yet. There is a world around us. We can interact with it, change it, alter it. Problem is this;
We don't know the exact ritual needed to achieve every action. But do know that anything can be achieved by preforming the ritual to do it. You know how in Mortal Combat you would press
certain button combos to get certain special moves? Well, same way in life. Preform the particular actions needed to do something and it'll be done. It's magic. How do you figure out the patterns
and the proper way to do things? Simple. You first document your plan to achieve the action desired. You then follow the plan, documenting your experience along the way. Then after following
the plan, you review and see what the effect was. You'd either have accomplished your goal or have figured out what doesn't work.

>>14289452
>FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

>>14291052
Hell yeah. This is the first one That reads like a diary. Good little semi schizo essays.

11/19
Logical errors, mystical reasoning, all that, work best when they are built on an irrational assumption people already have. Mystical symbols, aka confusing objects with deliberate properties, are used to make huge pathological errors all the time. An excuse to vent improper repressed emotions. They becomes tools of sadism and devices of con artists. This is how the charlatans of the world get away with it. They learn the culture of the group they are appealing to, then use those symbols as the groundwork for the bad logical work towards the slaughter house. Or, if not the slaughter house, then towards some game, some running of crowd tricks, and finally, finally, towards the ultimate financial reward. Reason is not only slave to the passions, but to the group, the topic, and the architecture. "Everything that is unconscious about ourselves we discover in our neighbor, and we treat him accordingly"

>>14289452
How the fuck did I get here
I thought I would NEVER be here again

2 years on meds now. Who am I?
20 or so psychedelic experiences. What am I?

One week sober. I am trapped
I thought I was free. Why did I come back?

It's getting cold and dark. I'm worried
I need to go further.

My Balcony, Monday Evening
But then I try, I try to make her go away, in a discrete way. Without outright saying "Hey piss off.". Because the truth of the matter is not that I don't like her, or want to avoid her, I just don't care. I don't care that much to make idle conversation. With anyone anymore for that matter. But especially her. Pleasantries are just pleasantries, I am quite comfortable being reserved and conservative without making unnecessary contact. I'm sorry that I'm like this, I really am. It's an amalgamation of everything going on at the moment. But I have been trying to be honest, to be transparent. But I am so unemotional. I really am just a body these days. I want my humanity back, I want hope and faith. I need spirit.A part of it is also, I'm just uncomfortable. I explained part of it to Aaron last night. But I think he sees it as that I am possibly depressed, that I want this all to end. I don't think I do. But I am so extraordinarily complacent, almost docile.

its so hard to abstain
it feels like im being driven from somewhere warm and cozy and carefree into a cold and lonely place
ive never felt any kind of warmth from where im trying to go
but i must have faith that its there, right?
the warm place isnt really so warm, and its not really so cozy, and its not really carefree, after i go there
it seems warm only from the outside, but when i get there, theres just disgust, and shame
it turns to ash in my mouth
cold and lonely
and yet, why does the response to cold have to be to be cold, and why is the response to being alone have to be to be lonely?
theres something else, isnt there? to go into such an unforgiving place, and to take something from it, and to bring it back
and then the cold wont be so cold and the loneliness wont be so lonely

Had a big meaty poo today, currently farting while writing this post. Also got high, fapped and watched anime. Good day 7/10.

>>14291154
I like this a lot, anon

>>14291166
very based and poopilled my friend

An excerpt from my shitty phone diary.

I suffered a setback two days ago. I need to admit that. I cannot succeed until I realize my weakness and overcome them. I became paranoid that a comment was a jab at me. It triggered me and I became destructive to myself and others.

I struggle with my crosses. God, im full of self pity. I try to get over it but I cant. I feel so defeated. Self pity is like quicksand. I try to struggle against it but I just sink faster. No matter how hard I try there is always an obstacle. Always something that trips me.

I need to remember that it's my cross. Its heavy but I can be strong enough. I just need to make it through December. Like a hard test I just need to picture the moment of relief when it's over. Because even though it may not feel like it now, the moment will come when it's in the past. I know it's the hardest month for me. I know that I can prepare for Christmas and make it out of it successfully.
Remember to be flexible. You cannot control the actions of others but you can control your own. I am the master of my own emotions. I can control how I react to external stimuli. Who cares what is thrown at you when you are mentally strong enough that you can rationally process it? I just need to man up, realize that what has been done is done and quit being a baby about it.

Getting angry at the world will only get me back to where I dont want to be. It's on me. I am the one that did it to myself. Admit it. It wasnt my parents. It wasnt my friends. It wasnt anybody but myself. They cut me out because of what I did. They acted because I. I was an idiot. I did it on my own volition and by my own volition I will turn a mistake to a triumph. Pick up your cross and move on

Wooba wooba

>>14289547
Based

>>14289452
>i realised that it's not loneliness im terrified of, as much as it is boredom. I can handle being alone, but going on for ages without having a person to talk to and listen, a person to LAUGH with; anyone would wither away.

My diary is an excel with daily measurements for statistical and empirical purposes.

Because I am not certain of anything, it is Tedious to speak, to write, to create. I "externalize my interiority" only when and if it is necessary to do so, and yet, guilt of failing to represent my genuine thoughts will distress my sedated self (is it my default mode of being?) long after doing so.
Am I capable of feeling? I layered all these layers of ungenuine ungenuinity, ever since I can remember to disassociate from others, that I've forgotten myself in between the in drapes I pretended into existence.

How many ideas were lost when writing this, just because they didn't mesh nicely with what was put before on the page? Everything I verbalize is incomplete. That which is put in such cynic stratum as language is feign and burdened with Tedium.

>>14289452
CONTEXT: I keep a journal about my interactions with people. This one is me reporting on everything that I did wrong with this girl I was in love with.

>Ask out before she stops showing interest. Never show vulnerability, like, ever. Never whine. Never complain about your life. Never insist on a talk that is dying out. Always try to hear her, even if it’s hard. If you don’t understand what she says, just get closer and tell her to repeat. Don’t waste any opportunity to talk, if she invites you. Limit your interactions to less than five minutes long chit chats. Approaching her to chat is not always a good idea, she’ll give you signs if you want to talk. Just greet her and see where it goes from there. She’ll look at you with interest if she wants to be included in whatever you are doing. ALWAYS TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HER, before the gap starts widening. ALWAYS TRY TO BE THE BEST, so that the insecurity of being a lazy ass idiot won’t cripple you. If you have other people talking, don’t let yourself be cucked and ask for her attention. Genuinely take your time and when she gives you some attention and an opening, you interact with her.

>KEEP YOUR HOPE UNDER CONTROL! You tend to attach yourself to little evidence that she likes you. ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW HER. LEARN HOW TO LISTEN. Don't waste the precious time that you two shall spend together with pointless trivia.

>Remember: girls who have passions and hobbies get TONS of male attention. Expect MORE opposition than with Stacy, not less. Most of the other suitors are just cucks, but you still gotta fear them because you are a cuck yourself.

>Also, DON’T EXPECT ANY HUMANITY FROM GIRLS. What you learned from Mormon is true2, yet it doesn’t work for actresses only. Women simply do not care about you.

There is even more. Needless to say I never dated anyone.

191205

Let $p:E\to X$ define a fibration.

$$
\require{AMScd}

\begin{CD}
E
\\
@V{p}VV
\\
X
\end{CD}
$$

We want to characterize the space of sections $\prod_X p$. In terms of sets or any type theory, sections are like functions $s$ that fulfill $p\circ s=1_X$, except the fibres over points in $X$ may vary. For sets, the condition is $s(x)\in p^{-1}(x)$.

>>14293677
>Women simply do not care about you.
I mean, you say it like men do care.

>>14289497
Mine was not ironic, bro. I actually smoke weed.

Not a diary entry but a blogpost from 1 week ago
>It hurts so bad bros. She still smiles at me and hugs me after rejecting me. I cannot handle being teased and taunted like this. It is like waving a steak in front of a dog's face when he knows he can't have it. She is so innocent. It hurts desu...