/lit/ - Literature

That kid is derping so hard.

>>1428309
>I wish my shirt had dinosaurs on it.

Yeah, me too, man.

>>1428312
Yeah. Me three, man.

1. Be Writerly: If your writing is too natural, then there is no way it is scholarly.
2. Sprawl: Content doesn't matter, it's all about size. Critics are impressed by big books, so brevity should be dismissed.
3. Equivocate: If it doesn't make sense, there can always be a good excuse. Truth can always be distorted as long as it makes the writer sound good. For example, the plot isn't important because the lack of plot is what's important.
4. Mystify: If people think that your writing is smarter than their writing, then they will respect your writing. If you sound smart (and definitely if you are published) then you must possess a brilliant mind.
5. Keep Sentences Long: If the sentence is not long and boring, then it is definitely not literature.
6. Repeat yourself: Repetition of words is important. If you don't mention your subject enough times, then the reader may not know what you are talking about. You may also use synonyms to show that you know how to use a thesaurus, and thus, must be an intelligent writer.

>>1428316
Me four.

7. Pile on the Imagery: Your writerly credentials will bloom to greatness if your ability to tie together multiple similes and metaphors like the wooden pieces of a Lincoln log set, never disintegrate from the fiery visage of the sun. The more literary devices that you can throw together, the better the writing.
8. Archaize: If thine style of writing reflects an age long gone, and a world unfamiliar to the modern reader, than thou art indeed a master of the quill and the ink. This is very similar to rule number four, except you must write as if you are stuck in the past, rather than stuck in a dictionary.
9. Bore: The word boring may as well be a synonym to the word scholarly. Along the lines of rule number one, you cannot write naturally, or make your words interesting. It is simply not scholarly. People are not supposed to be able to understand your writing, they are only supposed to realize that your writing is brilliant, because it just might be the cure for insomnia.
10. Play the part: Remember to be as you write, scholarly, literate, practically a god. You must understand that when you seem smart, when you seem to believe in yourself, others will do the same, because, how could someone that is so smart and so pompous be wrong?

Fuck, me five. This thread is now about cool stuff you will never have.

>>1428317
>>1428319
He asked for a book, not the cum off your mums face.

On Writing by Stephen King is well regarded as an amazing book for wannabe writers.

>>1428326
wrong pic from my want folder, I was trying to post this /lit/ related one

>>1428327

>cum off your mums face.
>On Writing by Stephen King

Same thing.

>>1428302

Jesus Christ OP if you need an instruction manual on writing then kill yourself. The best "how to" book to read are actual novels.

>>1428327

>On Writing

>>1428333

>he uses more than one folder

what are you, some kind of woman?

>>1428302
ignore the samefag OP, On Writing is great ;3

>>1428333
That couch/bunk bed was much more related, IMO.

>>1428340
Is gay a kind of woman?

>>1428339

It really isn't.

Who the hell would want tips from Stephen King? I guess it could work if you just want to make a few bucks (and even so you have to be lucky), but for actual quality writing? You'd do better with advices from anon and fat gothic girls writing yaoi fan fiction.

>>1428335
>>1428336
>>1428348
You mad that talked about your mum?

>>1428352

No not really. I'm just worried that OP might actually take your shitty advice and read "On Writing."

>>1428351
>Clearly hasn't read the book.
But really, I'm done with these kids. OP can do what he wants, the book is good ignore the samefag thats mad.

>>1428339
>>1428352

>on writing is great

everyone thinks it sucks

>SAMEFAG OBVIOUS SAMEFAG DERP

>Stephen King
>good advice on writing

pick one

>>1428326
>>1428333
As I gaze upon thy pictorials, the urge for MOAR arises.
Post thine want folder.

>>1428379

I want about 8 ft. of rope.

>>1428369
http://www.amazon.com/Writing-10th-Anniversary-Memoir-Craft/dp/1439156816/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid
=1294284302&sr=8-1
>972 reviews
>713 five stars
>187 four stars
>only 15 one stars.

I think this site has a saying for something like this.

Ah, yes. I believe that you are mad.

I was talking about this early today with my father and a friend of his and we got to the conclusion that the more you know, the less you'll do.

Study every device, learn what the writers are doing it and the pressure will take over you and you will get stuck. Just write, see if it's good, it's not, throw it away, repeat, let it settle, look at it again, not good, throw it away, repeat.... Use the fire inside you and fuck the rest. It's better to be a passionate young man who doesn't know shit about writing than a boring scholar with all knowledge and no production.

>you will never find a girlfriend to share this with

>>1428386
>Twilight breaks all records
>must be a great book

>>1428379
dumping some

>>1428398
Now that I think about it, there are a lot of things that could be /lit/ related

>>1428400

http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Saga-Complete-Collection/dp/031613290X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8
&qid=1294284686&sr=1-2

>2,398 reviews
>2,097 5 star reviews
>80 1 star reviews

>>1428404

>>1428398
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, I MUST KNOW.

>>1428404

what is this i want this

>>1428408

>>1428392
>twilight: reviewers are teen girls and housewives.
>On Writing: People who care enough about writing to read a book on writing.

>mfw there's no slapchop

>>1428404

MOAR WALL FUR

>>1428417

>Stephen King
>People who care about writing

lolno :3

>>1428415
lulz, I'm done. You can get more in /b/.

>>1428413
I THINK the pen is actually for digital painting only. You scan a color like the picker in photoshop and then you can pass to your tablet. I could be wrong and the pen actually uses ink, which would make it even more awesome.

>>1428409
Furry wall. You can draw and write on it and pass your hands to erase.

>>1428417
Who do you think cares about Stephen King? Teenage boys and housewives!

>>1428425
Lol, you must really be mad to keep on with this. I never thought insulting someones mother would be so fun over the internet.

You have no use for this, but it'd be cool if you owned one wouldn't it?