/lit/ - Literature

Have sex

>>14281462
The School of Life says the exact same things.

>>14281462
overbearing mother?
read Nietzsche, shed your stunted mummy morality

Your therapist sounds like a pseud

>>14281462
But you are correct; sex is violence
Stop being a faggot pussy

>>14281462
>sex therapist
do americans really

>>14281477
Which Nietzsche book in particular? And yes my single mom was very overbearing, and used to threaten suicide as a means of resolving arguments rather than discussing the issue we had argued over. However, she was also treated horribly by my dad, so I tend to be quite gentle around girls and do my best not to hurt them, even by teasing etc.

>>14281483
But is it justified violence?

For example, my boss at work has four kids and is very much a tall, assertive "alpha" male, and I can easily picture him having sex and enjoying it without shame. However, if I imagined my boss imagining me having sex, I feel like he and other sex-havers with whom I am acquainted would view it as a sinister sight, a betrayal of sorts as the act would contrast with the person I have presented myself as to them. I feel that sex just isn't for me, and that if I were to end up having sex with a girl she would be disappointed that I also experienced lust, and that I wasn't the mute, tame and apparently good person I seemed previously. I can't shake the feeling that it will somehow corrupt my character to an extent.

>>14281495
rent free

>>14281523
Consider that your ‘humanity’ is a veil, you were bred for and by this violence- why SHOULD these moralizing shame scenarios supersede the jungle morality of sexual doninance (i.e. man doms woman, strong man doms other men hierarchically, etc)
You are an animal and you’re thinking like a bug. Tbf it’s probably not your fault: likely some unknown trauma or belief you hold is keeping you from embracing the dictum of your flesh. I sincerely advocate wrestling women frequently, as this is another activity where dominance/violence and sexuality/intimacy intermingle

>>14281462
It's almost as if the world is shit and the gnostics were right.

>>14281497
I had similar problem, changed for the better by moral transvaluation... being able to inflict violence on the environment to change things to benefit is in the essence of being a man. Nietzsche puts it that you must not be ashamed, a pale criminal for exerting yourself.
You strike me as Christian, read the Twilight of the Gods and Anti-Christ if so and you are interested in alternative morality.

>>14281546
dumb base earthling

>>14281539
i shit on the american flag, faggot. it means as little to me as a paper napkin from mcdonald's. ftuuuu.

>>14281462
How do you present yourself as a sexual partner?

>seeing a therapist
>ever

You might as well neck yourself.

>>14281462
Exact same problem, I need help, and I am deathly afraid of everything, people irk me and I need to breathe, when I have women over I often either confide in them for protection instead of lust, Once slept in the same bed as an obviously interested girl for 3 days not wanting to have sex, but just wanted to curl up and cry. I just wanted to go home. Need help please, give book reccs I dont wanna live like this.

>>14281558
Thank you. I'm not Christian, but I'll give those books a read.

>>14281558
>Twilight of the Gods

you mean idols?

Your therapist is wrong, sex is about the strong exercising their power on the weak

I hate women so idc

>>14281600
yeah, that's the english name

>>14281582
How do *you*?

>>14281590
>when I have women over

Stopped reading.

>>14281462
wait until marriage

>>14281462
>trusting anything that has a giant hole between its legs and bleeds once a month
It's like you've never seen a single horror movie.

there are 3 kinds of women:
-the one who likes sex and money, ie the slut and wants to be treated like a princess
-the one who likes money and sex, ie the whore and wants to be treated like a princess
-the one who wishes she was even more of a slut or a whore and wants to be treated like a princess

there is only one type of men: the guy who will do anything to please women

>>14281647
so it's better to not be a "man" then?

>>14281636
ok boomer

>>14281687
boomer is right though
if everyone waited until marriage the world would be much better off

>>14281690
I'd rather make sexual conquest with the beautiful daughters of boomers desu

>>14281462
>Do you think this assessment could be correct
We don't know you, you stupid bitch.

>>14281690
>i can't get laid so i want everyone else to be forced into celibacy also
cringe take, you're just hating on people who are more successful than you are.

>>14281462
What kind of a faggot goes to a sex therapist because he's a virgin.
At least you're right about sex being a kind of violence; don't let your therapist (a horrible profession, in any case) neuter you. The popularity of BDSM and "choke me daddy" is no coincidence. Treat women like conquest, and when in bed treat them like your spoils of war and you'll get laid as much as you'd like.

>>14281462
What's wrong with that. You're right and the rest of the world is wrong.

>>14281737
But is that ethical? It feels somewhat equivalent to being an economic vulture, or someone who makes money from manipulating the lack of self-esteem in others. I mean do women actually fundamentally enjoy being treated like a piece of meat to be aggressively penetrated? I'm tempted to think not.

>>14281700
>advising someone to wait for marriage means that everyone else has to do it
Brainlet response. If I'd waiting till marriage I'd probably have a lot more respect for my partner.

>>14281523
but do you truly want to have sex? some people are naturally asexual, not for religious reasons or mental issues. maybe you're suffering because you don't fit the norm, or feel pressured by others and the norms forced on you.

>>14281749
All I can read is incel coping in ESL here desu.

>>14281693
with post-wall roasties?

>>14281546
What if I wish to escape the confines of flesh?

>>14281747
Be tempted to think yes. There's industries built upon the submissive nature of women, from fasion to porn.

>>14281462
>sex therapist
Do americans actually do this

>>14281751
I don't know, but I don't think I need it as much as others seem to. The idea of forming an intimate, romantic bond with a girl who I like and want to be a positive influence to is appealing, and sexual passion and the intensity and vulnerability that entails is appealing, but I don't ever feel aroused around women in real life. I had a crush on a girl for several months when I was 24, and almost had sex with a different girl when I was 23 due to circumstances that were unique to that brief period of time, but I couldn't go through with it and embarrassed myself (and her). Women and intimacy with them seems almost dreamlike to me, on a psychological level, like something I can try grasping for but will never quite touch or cling onto. I'm such a cold, analytical, slow-moving person that I can't imagine being secure in the thought that anybody would enjoy being around me, much less a girl who knew I wanted to kiss her etc.

Why are you seeing a sex therapist? Why not a regular psychotherapist or psychiatrist?

>>14281462
look at that hideous creature

>>14281777
Maybe those same industries created this state by subordinating women long enough until they believe they like it...

>>14281777
How so fashion, because of high heels and maid, schoolgirl etc outfits?

>>14281791
Why not desu?

>>14281747
> I mean do women actually fundamentally enjoy being treated like a piece of meat to be aggressively penetrated? I

If women were like this, idk, then I would never go near a woman. I don't want to fufill the role of an aggressor. Perhaps, for this reason, I'm destined to die alone.

>>14281799
this is your brain on retard juice

>>14281523
>it will somehow corrupt my character

You're playing this character--yes, it's clear it's an act of sorts, not some innate quality of self--at your own expense. But even if you weren't sacrificing your self to this (probably mistaken) image others have of you, you can still be meek and have sex. Your therapist is a fool and compounding the problem. Your problem isn't so much yourself as it is the image you've conjured: a fictive or at least woefully unrealistic and incomplete image of male virility and 'alpha'-ness. Your unhealthy libidinal investment isn't in your meek character, it's not even in the expectations of women, it's in some illusory image of other men. Just forget about them. If a girl likes you (and there are girls that like your 'type'; she might even be the same type or at least prefer you as an alternative to the deficiencies of other 'types') and she gets into bed with you it'll be fine--that type of girl probably wants timid tlc high schooler sex anyway, she's probably even the same way as you. Just find another permachild and relax. Oh, and get other guys dicks out of your head--half of them probably ain't shit and half again of the rest don't satisfy the women in their lives in some way that leaves both of them empty.

In conclusion: you're wasting money, time and attention on your therapist, who is probably using you as a sounding board to affirm his own illusory 'security' in his notion of manhood.

Read this one anon. Right up your alley.

>>14281474
This. It's obvious OP just watched a video and now things he has it all figured out.

>>14281747
>But is that ethical?
Don't listen to these guys in here. You should do what you believe is right. Do you think Kierkegaard cared about such foolish things as "sexual conquests"? Only weak men care about the pursuit of power in its various forms. All wise men know power is nothing but a facade. Seek virtue.

It is an inherently degenerate act though

So are you trying to understand why you arent having sex?
or are you trying to figure out to have sex?

See people as trees

Rigidly defined terms of good and bad will fuck you up though.
Its why you should focus on specific values/virtues rather than asking yourself if you fullfill some broadly definied stereotype of "being good"

Also did therapist tell you this or did he "lead" you to making this realization. Becuase if hes straight up telling you then hes a shitty therapist who is either overtly or subconsiously creaming his pants with the power he has over you.
Next time when you see him, you should present your asshole to him and see what he does.

If you"re trying to have sex you"re probably fucked up becuase your parents are too prudish to tell you .
And society moves to quick and its hard to concentrate when you have a raging boner.

>>14281838
Is there and English translation?

>>14281836
Thank you for such an articulate post, I appreciate your advice. I assume part of the problem, keeping your post in mind, is that I also view all women as essentially desiring and expecting the same thing of men / me, which I don't feel I can adequately provide. The only problem is that my age of almost thirty, finding someone who is similar to me in disposition seems even more difficult.

>>14281789
you seem very gentle and ethical, in an old-fashioned manner. >>14281818 i also notice signs of exaggerated, unreasonable fear that you'd hurt or mistreat your partner (most likely from seeing dad abuse your mother, afraid to be like him). you must understand that mere awareness puts you above him, you're not going to unknowingly abuse someone while being so sensetive and empathetic to others. on the other hand, you seem vulnerable to manipulation by others (and likely won't object or harshly resist, I got this impression from your situation with mother), I hope you find a decent girl who's into such men.

by the way, do you live in a big city? village girls are more likely to embrace your attitide. godspeed, and don't force yourself into unwanted relationships just for the sake of it, it's never late to love

>>14281842
>>14281474
I haven't watched or read The School of Life, but would appreciate a link or search term.

>>14281851
you could literally wipe out 100% of cathars and someone would still find a way to rederive it from theological DNA

>>14281858
Yes I read it in English. I'm not even sure it was originally written in German.

Its another
>id rather understand sexuality through societies lens rather than developing my own sexuality.

>tfw raised to be a good boy
>no issues with parents or anybody I know
>but the problem is I let everyone walk over me even though I'm tall and stronger than most people
>let manlets and others ridicule me in social situations
>don't know how to respond without coming off like an autist
>always get made fun of and put down because people know I won't/don't know how to fight back
it's all so tiresome

>>14281854
I guess I'm trying to firstly confirm if my sex therapist's view of the situation is accurate, in terms of my own psychological issues and what is preventing me from maturing properly. And also, if sex itself is somehow inherently violent and, if so, whether the violence involved is ethically justifiable, and if there are any philosophical books etc which have specifically focused on the ethical nature of sex especially with relevance to the male libidinal desire to penetrate and dominate and the typical female desire to be penetrated and dominated.

>>14281884
let me add that I never start anything with anyone but I get attacked out of the blue almost every single time I'm in a social setting. what the hell man? I can't even talk about something like food without someone making some joke at my expense. why are people like this?

>>14281844
incredibly based. modern world seems to standartize success to a ridiculous point. EVERYONE must have sex, be rich, own a lot of things or some shit to be considered successful, for his life to be fulfilling.
there are countless kinds of success and grace in life, you can peak in whatever your heart desires and not look back on those "universal milestones" you think you're obliged to pass.
alone or accompanied, famous or unseen, in luxury or ascetism, make sure to live your life in a way to not regret it after.

>>14281893
Because you’re a king.

>>14281884
quit being a pussy faget.

You afraid of consequences/
if you try to defend yourself an fail you open yourself up to more ridicule and deeper ridicule
"This brickshithouse doesnt even know how to fight"

Its simple anon you quit putting up with their shit by just calling them a shitbag, or you pop em one on the kisser for talking shit.

>>14281884
>>14281893
go Achilles mode just once faget
you will see how you like it after

>>14281902
>>14281907
I don't want to go through those social games. I just want to be left in peace. I don't think I could hit anyone unless they hit me first. I'm not the violent type.

>>14281462
>therapist says i think sex is stupid
>any books about how sex isn't stupid?
maybe some bataille? trying getting into eroticism

>>14281861
Thank you for your kind post. I would briefly admit that I'm not as gentle or ethical as I would wish, since I have made mistakes both in hurting other people with my words and also not always being as truthful as a person should be. It's a great shame that I reflect on a lot, to an obsessive extent that contributes to my already meek nature.

I used to live in a big city, but found it very unpleasant (partly because I didn't earn enough money to live to a decent standard), but now live in a rural village. May I ask in which you live?

>>14281873
Thank you again, I will buy this book. May I ask if it benefited you personally?

>>14281892
If there is consent, then there is no violence.

The only trauma you subject your partner too when you making whoopee , is either under performing leading to disappointment,overperforming which can lead to blisters, bruises,and "blue waffle",or perfect dicking, which could result in becoming addicted to your cock.

>>14281930
But if said consent was founded on prior violence (say, 5000 years of anthropo-trauma) then the contract is technically rendered void.

>>14281922
If you dont establish your boundaries and tell people what is or isnt okay they will walk over you.
And faggots will jump at the chance to make fun of a tough guy who lets people walk over them.
You either throw it back in their face, fuck off,or wear baggy clothes and hunch over to make yourself look like a pussy faggot.

>>14281930
What about a small nation which agrees to become a protectorate to a larger nation, sacrificing its independent nature and to a large extent its identity in return for protection and economic benefits? In Rome: Total War such a relationship is so undesirable, despite the fact it is consensual, that you need to have at least three full-stack armies at hand and a well-trained diplomat just to encourage the weaker force to agree to such a relationship.

>>14281462
>I was talking to my sex therapist
Okay, this had me laughing, but you should still kys for making a "I put 'books about this' at the end so it's not off-topic teehee" thread.

>>14281924
I'm in a city, but dislike it, and I'm not pursuing sex or relationship, so it's somewhat fine, at least this place is livable. I'll live in a smaller town when I move though

>>14281937
don't think about it. if you're a first-worlder, women these days are free and independent enough for their consent to have true value.

>>14281946
May I ask why you dislike it? Good luck on your move. Leaving the city has benefited me a lot in terms of my mental health.

>>14281937
>>14281942
Quit being a fucking faggot.

Just cut off your dick and marry your computer

>>14281942
coercion is violence
if not coercive, the smaller nation can manipulate the larger nation in subtle and far reaching ways, such as you might see in the relationships of gold diggers with rich pushovers or a certain middle eastern country and an unspecified western superpower

>>14281922
Easy, just get drunk and smack one of your friends, then blame the alcohol. Manhood asserted, you remain blameless.

>>14281462
Easy, just get drunk and hit on girls. Blame any sexual failings on the alcohol. Sexual aversion fixed, you see what the fuss is about and stop being upset.

I wish male and female genitals were the same, so there was no imbalance. Ideally, we would all have penises and just rub them together for sexual release.

>>14281941
How do I establish my boundaries without physical violence? I always get caught in those strange situations where if I say something I will just come off even worse.

>>14281929
I read it for research purposes, so I can't really comment to that. I found it deep and insightful, and it talks about just sort of stuff you mention.

>>14281937
think less
the more you think the more it releases you from the flesh prison but it hinders you in the world because the world is one giant paradox
if you want to participate in world think less

>>14281965
Why are you even hanging out with such people? Either laugh it off and consider they may just be joking and that you're over-sensitive (I had to deal with this fact), or develop your wit and engage in banter without coming off as defensive or overly aggressive.

>>14281963
there's a community of people just like this, I think they're called faggots

>>14281474
>>>14281462 (OP)
>The School of Life says the exact same things.
School of life is awful.

>>14281462
Sex is destruction aka la petite mort

>>14281965
You can't, not without at least the threat of it. Even if you come off like you're 'joking when you do it', people get the message more or less.

>>14281981
What about sex without orgasm, or artistic sex like Hegre Art?

Ive seen that School of Life video too OP. No need to put on the LARP

>>14281990
Link?

>>14281952
I'm generally a country man, I enjoy my work in rather rural suburb, and it doesn't help my city is a megapolis of 12mil. too many people, too little soul, all buildings and no wast fields

>watches a youtube video online
>thinks he knows sexual psychology inside and out
that channel is full of hacks

>sex is an inherently violent act
all of life is a violent act of an angry minor "god"

>>14281942
If you"re comparing sex to geopolitical politics then you are thinking too hard.
And you probably believe sex and deception go hand in hand becuase of fake setups in porn films or how much lieing and cheating is involved around the drama that permeates all the sex on tv.

Here is simple geniune interaction

Me: hey you seem pretty cool and i find you attractive. I was wondering if we could hang out sometime.
-this is geniune expression of announcing intentions,being able to clearly state why you approached said person.
-you must accept consequences
-coming up with disingenious reasons , just to have sex, then the interaction is violent/coercive. Be honest with yourself, its easeir to learn to navigate existance that way.
Then much later when you are on a date, alone together you say "i find you very attractive, i was wondering if we could make out"
-"you want to make out" works suprisingly well at parties.
-try not to take rejection too much to heart. Accept that these women arent attracted to you RIGHT NOW but that may change.

Along with media depictions, romance seems to be primal, "intuitive" the hunk doesnt ask to make out . He just gabs the girl stares deep into her eyes kisses her ,grabs her boob,then takes her shirt off and start to have sex. Where not a single word was exchanged.
This does happen sometimes, but usually in very established relationships, or very drunk hookups.


Most of the time, when im horney, i will usually ask my wife if she wants to have sex. I wont just jump her bones without some sort of "blatant signal"

>>14281462
>inherently violent act
It is

>>14281965
You are on a lit board.
If you cant be a man, and learn to wield, temper, and refine violence to your whims and to wield as a weapon for virtue.

I suggest; establishing borders, passive aggressively
start writing scathing articles and sending complaints to bosses and community leaders or publish op-ed pieces , make posts on facebook.

you're gonna stay a bitch if you dont use your fists, or develop your wit.
You onna lit board, try developing your wit.

>i will usually ask my wife if she wants to have sex

>>14282040
I am not sure what you mean here

Has anyone here ever had a book or poem or whatever come to mind during the act of sex?

I unironically had a scene from Easter Parade by Richard Yates come to mind during my first and only (failed) sexual experience.

>>14282058
failed how

>>14282065
In the sense that I didn't end up actually having sex with her due to anxiety.

>>14282067
That sucks, dude.

>>14281747
>I mean do women actually fundamentally enjoy being treated like a piece of meat to be aggressively penetrated and center of somebodies attention?
Yes. Their vaginas give birth. That's some real violence. They hardly feel your pencil dick inside them.

> used fanta to descale the kettle
> kettle clean, but smells like fanta
Every absolution comes for a price.

>>14282113
I'm a retard and opened the wrong thread

>young boy came to confess
>made him remove his pants
Every absolution comes for a price.

>>14282108
irony too thin, can't feel it in my clown brain.

>>14282118
lol where was it meant for?

>>14281865
it's just a bald anglo telling you how to read philosophy to be more sexy, buy philosophical honey btw

When I was a kid/teenager, my dad used to trim my nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, would smell my penis to make sure it smelled nice and to make sure I cleaned the smegma, would do the same for my armpits, and would sometimes shower with me. This went on until I was around 16 and he would beat me if I ever denied him. I'm also completely terrified of girls after years of humiliating experiences, so I've spent around 600 dollars on custom girlfriend audios to simulate the experience

>>14282019
I disagree.

>>14282134
on your mind thread, I like posting irrelevant situations with lit caption, my favorite jokes that are light and comfy, but not too plain

>>14282139
i shouldn't have clicked on this thread

>>14282128
imagine indulgencies are back. a prostitute wants her sins removed, but doesn't have cash.
she asks if it's possible to pay "the other way". he eyes her up and down and responds, "currency not accepted."

>>14281462
>that retarded 7-eleven video
I hate people who think the 80s, 60s, or some other meme decade of the past century was anything but pure filth.

>>14282155
kek

Fuck off School of Life shill. Literally everyone here has seen that video

>>14282181
Could you link please or suggest a search term?

>>14282145
you seem alright unironically, good luck with that

>>14281474
That's because is not something invented but an observable phenomenon.

>>14282164
They all seen to ignore how trash it actually was. Its reflected in a lot of music like nowave, punk, metal and isn't all flowers and roses muh miami vice synthwave that people here pretend it to be

>>14281474
>>14281462
Ew. Fremdscham

>>14282204
Where's this? Inner cities are always grim.

>>14281462
We never met you, why would you ask us if this is an accurate assessment of you?

>>14282204
Is that some black neighborhood? I live near Detroit and it looks 100x worse than that.

>>14282210
>>14282218
Belfast apparently

>>14281462
>I was talking to my sex therapist
>I'm incel
.... fucking anglos

>>14281747
I don't know about women but getting aggressively violated and degraded is the best feeling on earth for me.
t. fag

>>14281884
>>14281893
>>14281922
based Lennie poster

>>14282204
Belfast is still a shithole though. At least back then it had soul

Any books on phimosis bros?

>>14282254
>"back then"
>soul
lol

>>14282274
Its the same kind of city that spawned Joy Division, the Smiths, My Bloody Valentine while today we have fucking what, Idles?

>>14281884
Are you literally me?

>>14282308
Sleaford Mods?

reminder that you shouldn't listen to LARPing sex havers on here

>>14282138
he just wants you to think he's an anglo, he's actually something like a belgian-swiss jew

>>14282274
build a ship retard

>>14282347
for what

>can't even imagine myself having sex
>try to conjure up a sexual fantasy
>my loin is a black void or just blank
>immediately lose all strength in my body and go limp like I'm paralyzed and the fantasy is over
What in the actual fuck is wrong with me

>>14282400
holy spirit testing harsher providence on you

>>14281462
this sounds like literally me, thanks for paying the therapist bill for me

>>14282311
Haven't listened to them so I can't really judge but Nottingham has never been as gritty

>>14281462
And what was his solution?

>>14281898
Have you translated that from a certain oriental passage, anon?

>>14281462
Sweet mother of Christ your posts and total lack of testosterone is genuinely upsetting me. You are far too analytical. Consider experiencing life without breaking down every little interaction you encounter. Drop the therapist, you think too much already and you'll save same cash. Unironically consider drinking heavily or even fucking huffing paint, you sound too smart for your own good and losing a few iq points will take you back to a much better mental space. For recommended reading I suggest some turn of the century pulp e.g. tarzan, john carter, conan, etc. You're a fucking man. Act like it.

>>14281462
>>14281523
>>14281590
>>14281747
>>14281858
>>14281884
>>14281922
This is my problem too. I view sex as an act of power or violence. I don't want to enact violence. Not for fear of consequences but because it feels like the wrong instinct to give into. I do have a real violent side that I have worked hard at suppressing because even though violence comes natural to me and feels good I feel on a higher order it is wrong, I think of a kind of purity and morality which the ideals of my family imparted to me and I don't want to be a cause of pain to men let alone women. Even pursuing a woman seems a kind of social violence. I don't think it would be that hard to have sex, or to follow a woman into a relationship. I think it would take mostly persistence. Part of my problem is I hate myself, so how can I in good conscience impose myself on others? At the same time, I recognize noone else is going to do it for me. I have had the hope throughout my life of a woman I am attracted to choosing me, giving me the consent to go forward. What is wrong with me? Am I a basedboy? Am I a cuck? Do I need to let my violence flow and dispense with virtue?

>>14282957
Why do you hate yourself mate?

>>14282957
>I do have a real violent side
You sure about that dude

>>14282957
You seem to think violence is intrinsically unethical. Do you not think there are many situations where violence itself is the ethical answer?

>>14281462
It sounds like you're impotent and you're trying to spin a narrative to yourself about how it's caused by your profound moral character as opposed to a physical defect.

why is this still up? fuck off to /adv/ already

>>14282989
Sure. I don't mean to say I am a good fighter or a psychopath. I'm quite selfish on reflex and it's easy for me to sus out and prey on the weak. I was a bully when I was younger which has become a cause of no small guilt and introspection. I think I am a very base creature by nature but when I see the beauty of the graceful and forgiving people around me I feel I must make of myself something better. Maybe I have only been corrupted by the pleasures of received charity but I take that leap of faith in believing it is something greater. It would be very easy to be violent in nature, to owe nobody anything, to take whatever I see that I could.
>>14283005
Of course there are. Situations of survival or protection. But this is not the violence of sex or taking a woman for yourself. This is objectifying a woman, taking an autonomous body and mind and reducing it to a plaything of your world and then using it to enact your physical pleasure. It's quite cruel. It is a kind of imprisonment. I would say my biggest problem is in believing that or understanding when a woman desires any of this. The lines are very blurred in a culture against rape culture, which wants consent for every act, which seems to communicate a total discomfort. The options available seem to be a doting beta male asking permission to enact yourself in a way that is degrading to both parties or to rape which is extreme violence against the woman and again a double degradation. The in between is lost on me. But sometimes I fight with my male friends and these spontaneous eruptions of violence are appreciated in return. They negotiate a mutual lust for violence but understand a limit they will not go beyond. Maybe this is what I need to understand in women.

>>14282859
no, just made it up while waiting for water to boil, what passage did you imply?

>>14281747
>>14281844
>>14281851
>>14281981
>>14282019
>>14282400
>>14282957
chaste & ascended
for once, I feel proud for this board. there is a future after all. virtue is not dead. my brothers are gonna make it.

>>14281462
I could give you a legit answer, but not for free.
If you're interested let me know and we'll arrange an anonymous payment with crypto.

>>14283104
Oh, that kind of violent. Well, gl feeling guilty for being a cunt all your life I guess, sounds like you fucked yourself. Everyone's a bit of a bully, sounds like you just got too wrapped up in it and only went for those who had no chance of fighting back. Maybe you'd feel better if you try using your fists against other regular dudes or something. Taking a few hits yourself makes you less inclined to take yourself so seriously.

>>14283141
I'm not chaste, I just have a healthy reaction/response to sex & relationships

>>14282957
Funny, I'm gay, a furfag and with a big interest in all things cute. You'd think I'm the biggest basedboy/cuck ever, but when I was faced with the exact same problem as you, for some reason I enjoyed it. This feeling of "power/violence" you keep describing as something immoral is something I started feeling when doing anything sexual and it's something I can't get enough of.

It gives me confidence to "dominate" someone else like that, maybe unlike you it's because I don't feel unworthy of them, plus I know it's exactly what they want, so it's as consensual as it gets, no matter how rough or controlling it gets sometimes.

tl;dr I absolutely think it comes from a self esteem place of not feeling like you are worthy enough of having someone else submit to you in any way. It's basically rape in your eyes to subject someone else to having sex with you, for some reason.

This thread has too many violent normies and their platitudes. Cringe

Can't read this thread. Hits too close.
t. Had 3 women at different times sexing me but couldn't do it

>>14283337
>Funny, I'm gay, a furfag
then you are already sick i will not take advice from you

I think the issue here is that a lot of you have a really high opinion of women, which is just the opposite of what most women would tell you since they want you to feel guilty and give them material goods. The usual accusation is that the incel is a "creepy woman hater" but digging around places like /r9k/ reveals an entirely different story. Those sad fucks LOVE women.

The idealization of the female figure has lingered on from whatever era spawned it, but the comparative idealization of masculinity has faded (or has been systematically expunged from society if you ask some people), leaving the scale tilted. What this leaves us with is a subset of men who lack a connection to masculinity, loathe their own maleness, and end up worshipping women as divine beings. There are even men who get off on sniffing women's farts and licking their feet, getting their balls stepped on, becoming paypigs to fat sluts, etc.

In short: you're wrongfully afraid of your own masculinity, and it's causing you all sorts of psychosexual problems.

Here are some suggestions to forcefully push you in the right direction:

>stop reading anything written by woman
>don't watch any more media that stars female characters in major roles
>spend time around other men (no gay stuff though)
>do cliche manly shit like lifting weights, hunting, camping, beating up minorities, etc.
>stop looking at pictures of cute girls
>read old books written by old men about old things

>>14283533
Says the man who is unable to think of sexual matters without immediately going to violence and cannot pursue women to the man who is in a healthy, happy relationship for a decade now. I didn't even offer any advice, just an opinion on what's going on. Regardless, good luck Anon.

>>14283337
>>14283557
You're right about self-esteem being a necessary component of a healthy sexual relationship, but you still need to be put in the gas chamber.

>>14283539
You forgot #1: stop watching porn.

>>14283539
>do cliche manly shit like lifting weights, hunting, camping, beating up minorities, etc.
>beating up minorities

>>14283609
But porn liberates us from oppressive sexal mores!

>>14281477
What did Neetch say about people who grew up without mothers

>>14283630
Kek

>>14283589
Honestly not sure what I was thinking when I decided to start a sentence with "I'm someone who a lot of people hate and here's my opinion", but I guess the gist of it is just that if you don't feel you have any value, of course it will feel like you are doing something awful by adding yourself to their lives and you'll not be comfortable with it.

>>14283638
They become ultra-Chads that carve a path of rape and tyranny through otherwise peaceful societies.

>>14283659
Then why the fuck am I still an incel?

>>14283665
probably a chromosomal disorder like klinefelter's

>>14281474
Ad hominem, no idea if you intended it as pro or contra, still not an argument either way.

>>14281462
No more Mr. Nice guy

>>14283298
Pretend I didn't respond to you

>>14282957
>>14283539
I think this h to do with the objectificion of women.

You have cut yourself off from "community" in favor of society. And only exposing yourself to depictions of women through societal channels, like internet,media, etc...
Or you may have real life women that you regularly interact with. And the depictions on the internet and media are just more convincing. Most likely becuase they are more sexy and really rings on the sex drive.

Conversly those people who "put women on a pedestal" are still objectifying women, but rather than treating them like a chew toy, but rather fine china, or some antique jewlrey.

This is mainly a problem of three things. Empathy,acceptance, and fear, mainly of loosing social standing-including your perceptions of your social standing.

>>14283659
this manga was excellent

>>14281523
You must engage with your shadow. You are an animal that evolved instincts to fight and reproduce. Due to whatever environment you grew up in you learned to mute those drives. Now you see that you need them to be a fully functioning human.

Introspect. Seek out those parts of you that you have shackled, they are your true power. They are not a betrayal of yourself, they are only true aspects of yourself that will help you break out of the costume which you crafted due to need in the past, but you now find hold you back.

>>14281462
>implying this is a bad thing
More people should abstain from sex

>>14281647
>there is only one type of men: the guy who will do anything to please women

Absolutely false.

>>14283539
>beating up minorities, etc.
A coward wrote this. Shame, the rest of the advice sounded rather well thought out

>>14283539
>The idealization of the female figure has lingered on from whatever era spawned it, but the comparative idealization of masculinity has faded (or has been systematically expunged from society if you ask some people), leaving the scale tilted.
I think you're onto something. Goethe in The Sorrows of Young Werther says:
>When, in the morning at sunrise, I go out to Walheim, and with my own hands gather in the garden the pease which are to serve for my dinner, when I sit down to shell them, and read my Homer during the intervals, and then, selecting a saucepan from the kitchen, fetch my own butter, put my mess on the fire, cover it up, and sit down to stir it as occasion requires, I figure to myself the illustrious suitors of Penelope, killing, dressing, and preparing their own oxen and swine.
>Nothing fills me with a more pure and genuine sense of happiness than those traits of patriarchal life which, thank Heaven! I can imitate without affectation.
I have never in my life done such things or felt this "happiness of the patriarchal life" so this passage was oddly foreign to me. I think the way civilization has turned out has made it unnecessary and difficult to be that sort of masculine figure. But surely there must be something we could do to get ourselves out of this mess? Your solutions mostly seem solid but not enough.

>>14283539
I do idealize women but I also hold myself to a standard of traditional masculinity. It is only the desire to dominate women which I cannot understand. I do not want a woman to submit to me, I want her to come of her own volition. I do not want to break her like one domesticates an animal and make her my dependent. Maybe I am too much a romantic or only too weak. Maybe I am only trying to recreate an unrequited love I once felt from my mother or from God and maybe that is foolish. But the idea of objectifying and owning a woman for the sake of my use makes me sick. It is different between men. There is an understanding we are out to conquer one another. There are implicit rules we all agree to.

>>14281523
>I feel that sex just isn't for me, and that if I were to end up having sex with a girl she would be disappointed that I also experienced lust, and that I wasn't the mute, tame and apparently good person I seemed previously.
I understand this on some level. Not necessarily that I'm supposed to be meek or mute, but in the sense that I'm a sexless being, to myself and others. I've felt for years that I just don't deserve sex, that I would be a disappointment to myself and to whatever girl degraded herself to have sex with me. That I'm so un-sexy to women (and even men, in the sense that it'd be wrong for me to even joke about it) that approaching a woman or flirting or implying I want anything physical would be at the least rude and at the worst some form of harassment.

I've been working very hard this year on bettering myself in a lot of ways, and on building up my self esteem and confidence and respect - I even managed to get a new job and do very well in a number of in-person interviews - but this is my biggest hurdle. At this point it's like I couldn't even approach a woman, like I would lack even the basic ability to speak or present myself in a positive way. I'm trying, though. I think that that's all anyone can do.

A cute girl in a supermarket the other day smiled beatifically at me and wished me a happy Thanksgiving. I was so shocked, in the moment, that I involuntarily let out an embarrassingly girly "oh!" before I caught myself and returned it. That's the level I'm at right now.

>>14284398
>There is an understanding we are out to conquer one another. There are implicit rules we all agree to.
I don't agree. I extend my non-domination to men as well. Respect everyone, anon. Don't fall for the Demiurge's temptations.

>>14284427
Hah! Behind that mask you're sizing up my weaknesses. Not if I get you first, fucker.

>>14284441
Fren, n-no.

>>14281590
>Once slept in the same bed as an obviously interested girl for 3 days not wanting to have sex, but just wanted to curl up and cry. I just wanted to go home

>>14284696
>>>Once slept in the same bed as an obviously interested girl
I have done this TWICE and a third time a girl has made the first move to fuck and I autistically sat there and done nothing until she left

DAMN NIGGA

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

>His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

>>14284787
It's one thing to consciously know your place. It's another to have an intense craving for intimacy without the wherewithal to get it.

>>14283855
Shut the fuck up, roast.

>>14284738
Honest question: do you know you aren't gay? I can respect not being into sex as much as other people seem to be; I'm in a neighboring ship. But looking back on my own history, every person I turned down in the manner thus described has been of the wrong sex.

>>14284398
>It is different between men. There is an understanding we are out to conquer one another.
Explain this mindset. I am a non confrontational meek male, I'm not even rationalizing my behaviour or morally justifying it, I'm simply unable or psychologically blocking myself somehow from competing with even other men. I can't be "not nice", an "asshole", or whatever to anyone in their face (I get resentful in private ofc towards real pricks). I grew up with not one, but frequently changing yet dominant father figures, which no doubt contributed to my inability to relate to men in a way conducive to living life in society. What book should I read, regime should I hold, exercise should I practise to develop this side of my personality, from scratch?

Test

>>14284916
I probably am gay but I'd rather be dead than be a gay man.

>>14281462
You're correct. Pick a celibate religious tradition. Sex is an expression of the demiurge.

>>14281462
Every time you have sex you should be thinking about raping your sex slave.

>>14283539
>you're wrongfully afraid of your own masculinity

In high school there were girls I lusted over who then liked me back. One kept approaching me and wanting to hang out and it was obvious she wanted to pursue something. However by that point I didn't want a relationship with her and lusted after girls who didn't want me; the forbidden fruit. You might have a might about fearing my own masculinity and I guess I had an idealization of women to the point of semi worship. However, should I have some sort of standards or ideal especially when finding a wife? I don't care about physical appearance as much as values such as wanting children and not being consumerist.

>read old books written by old men about old things

I read Dostoevsky and am on my way to Tolstoy. Am I on the right track?

>>14285055
Then you wouldn't be able to have kids unless you see materialism as entrapment of the soul.

>>14285073

>>14281523
Why don’t you try enacting small changes to your personality that paint you closer towards a sex-haver? For example you could try making a sexual joke at work or with friends, if work/friends would find that humor acceptable. You could also try being an actual sex haver. What i mean is for example, young people that dress like a skater often end up trying skating because they don’t want to feel like a poser. Maybe you feel like a sex poser, and you need to have sex to fit in better. I think it is then warranted, to pay a woman or man that works as an escort to do just that with you. Would probably be a useful experience especially if you are a virgin.

>>14281462
I kind of have the same problem, only I don't really experience sexual thoughts about women I have interactions with at all. I experience lots of romantic thoughts about one girl in particular who I'm friends with, but I've never once had a sexual thought about her.

It kind of creates a disgust toward sex for me, I don't feel like I can relate to people who want sex, and when I learn that someone I know has had sex, it totally changes my perception of them, as though they're somehow totally different from me. I know realistically at my age (23) that any girls I'm going to try to date have probably had sex, but that thought terrifies me.

>>14284787
Source?

I too watch School of Life

>>14284019
women love those that torture the weak
theres a reason jesus died a virgin lol

>>14285192
https://lmgtfy.com/?q=search+engines

>>14281603
Sex is about validation and satisfying your biological impulse to reproduce. This is what degenerate faggots struggle to truly understand.

>>14281789
perharps you gay?

>>14281844
>Only weak men care about the pursuit of power in its various forms. All wise men know power is nothing but a facade. Seek virtue.
The weakness of men is their facade of strength.
The strength of women is their facade of weakness.
Sex is not violence. Sex is agression. Not the same thing at all. Sex is the highest expression of love between two people who willingly give themselves over to the other one accepting all consequence for doing so.
All the retardspeak about muh conquest, muh neetzsche and muh power is nothing but the narcissistic cope strategy of base aninals who can't into intimacy.
Don't waste your time on pursuing that which will not fulfill you. I had lots of sex with lots of partners, both men and women, and the destination of that road is emptiness and disappointment. Seeking conquest is nothing more than seeking validation, because you are insecure. But no amount of sex is going to convince you of your own worth, it will only make you crave more of the same.
Love is what you need. Love and it's ultimate expression of complete and utter self surrender to another.
Don't ever bother with sex again. Seek a real connection instead. Focus on that, focus on your confidence and sex will sort itself out as a natural consequence.
t. married for 12 years and have 4 kids with a wife Im still boning regularly

>>14281941
someone finally said it

>>14284411
Based and cutepilled.

>>14284938
You should only develop that side of your personality if your current default perspective and disposition is preventing you from achieving what you want to achieve, providing that it's an achievement which is honorable. I don't think conquering others is necessarily a masculine social norm. Men just don't like being mogged by other men, and a lot of men just enjoy being left alone either by themselves or just with their families.

>>14285096
Do you never masturbate, or watch pornography?

>>14281523
>tame
It's really sad to me that a man would not only describe himself as tame but even see it as a desirable or proper trait.

If i was your therapist i'd beat your ass and tell you to have sex

>>14281571
EUROS PATROLLED
STAY IN YOUR SANDBOX WHILE WE PISS INTO IT

>>14286171
you already did by fucking middle east several times
resulting in terrorism on european soil blablabla etc

>>14283557
>healthy, happy relationship
>have sex with people other than your partner
>healthy
>happy
pick one

>>14281523
I am positive this is from watching porn because I am actually the exact opposite. I was even thinking the other day how no matter how much you can respect another man, if you were to see him have sex he’d look so vulnerable you could never respect him again. Its why we invented clothes. But reading your comment I realise you feel almost aroused by the though of this alpha having sex because you already imagine him pounding some tight 18 year old doggy style and completely dominating her and you imagine that if he imagined you it’d be this pathetic weak willed act of mercy on the woman’s part. You’ve already internalised their mockery into your very fibre but the weird thing is this ISNT the default. By default it’s the exact opposite, even the good looking alpha men command respect precisely because they are abstracted from activities like sex/pooping etc. Intimacy should always lessen someone’s esteem but you seem to fetishise their sexual hierarchy. It actually makes me wonder, this behaviour is common in primates and primates see each other have sex. I suspect the sublimation of sexual behaviour with clothing and etiquette is what allows man to exist in a more flexible hierarchy and confers an evolutionary advantage regarding the division of labour. It seems excessive porn will make us more primate like with those deemed attractive now revered as god like superiors because of all the weaker men constantly watching stronger men have sex.
Even if you keep watching pornography at least don’t watch Normie porn, watch old men fucking young women porn and see what happens. I would genuinely wager you’ll start worshipping the ground boomers walk on kek

>>14286315
>t. oldje sales representative

>>14286252
When the hell did I say I have sex with people other than my partner? It's been a monogamous relationship from the start. Did you just happen to glance at one of those extremely exaggerated /pol/ graphs that go "80% of all gay people have AT LEAST 500 partners during their lives, isn't that impressive"?

>>14286358
>gay
>monogamous
Who are you trying to lie to here?
t.gay

>>14286358
>When the hell did I say I have sex with people other than my partner?
here >>14283337
>I don't feel unworthy of them, plus I know it's exactly what they want

Also I'm gay and I can attests that all those /pol memes are accurate.

>>14286480
Just because you are a promiscuous whore does not mean everyone who's into guys has to be too. I'd say the main reason I'm gay in the first place is precisely because I wanted a deeper connection and a more meaningful partner, something I was never able to find in any woman I've met, who always came off as shallow at first, and once I got to know them better and they started telling me secrets (because I guess they trust me since I'm gay who knows), I always learned how treacherous and evil they really are.

I mean if you want to freely have sex with whoever I'm sure you can do that regardless of gender, just go pick up Tinder or something. It's not like people are afraid of being sexual in current year. IMO if you are in a "polygamous" relationship you aren't in one at all, you are just having sex with lots of your close friends and would likely not spend a lifetime with any of em. It's your choice if you want to do so but still.

>>14286500
I see where the confusion comes from, I meant the sexual partners I did have throughout my life in the past, not at this moment. Which I don't think would be "500 partners" even if I consciously put an effort into it for the rest of my life.

If you guys are LARPing, fuck off with your "wow but I'm gay and can confirm I love to spread HIV!". If you aren't, shame on you. Though if you are that promiscuous as /pol/ thinks, I guess that's a problem that will solve itself.

>>14286512
>I guess that's a problem that will solve itself.

Reminder that god will award those who managed to fuck a lot and punish those who didn't.

>>14281462
I bet he says this same sentence to each and everyone of his virgin patients.
How does it feel to pay someone so that he might call you a man child incel?

>>14281462
Dietrich von Hildebrand, "In Defense of Purity"

Karol Wojtyla, "Love and Responsibility"

>>14281497
Everything your mom has told you about your dad is a lie. Watch Jesse Lee Peterson, learn to understand your father, then overcome your mother and forgive her for turning you away from your father and forcing you to partake in her anger and insecurity. Women can't help themselves. Then you'll be rid of all that anger and fear, and you won't have the personality of a woman anymore.

>>14286072
based

my fucking sides!

>>14286124
I do, but only for the mechanical release, not because of sexual desire.

>>14285096
Isn't this called "Madonna-whore complex"?

>>14287679
I don't feel sexual arousal for anyone. Sexual thoughts don't come to me normally.

>>14281462
I don't know your background but if you just pick up the most popular textbook on general psychology and a textbook on whichever therapy you enjoy (I'm currently using CBT), you can figure out your issues by just analyzing yourself and your past. Anyway, I think you are struggling with this hypothesis re: sex being inherently violent - and further somehow being bad/evil/cruel/immoral - because you've only included yourself in the equation and thus you come off as this predator that has a sexual urge he wants to fulfill at the expense of everyone else - but once you include the other into this, it falls apart. This whole sex being violent thing, it only works if you are actually pursuing someone who has no interest in you and forcing her to have sex with you, the moment the desire is mutual this becomes impossible. Those who are against sex aren't against it due to the mechanics, but because of metaphysical values applied to sex, ex. sperm as creative energy/life force, producing offspring being immoral in this existence, distancing themselves from the "base" or "lower" to rise above and transcend etc. to be in tune with yourself is to be in tune with your physical body, male aspects connecting with the female aspects of your counterpart, those who have desires that are in conflict with their physical bodies are at odds with themselves, attempting to realize their fantasies (ex. trans) or who are attracted to the same sex (gay/lesbian) these divert from the original blueprint and their lives suck because of it - to no fault of their own - don't join those who float away and lose sight of themselves, lost in the realm of fantasy, ground yourself in reality and act accordingly, figure out whatever it is that's wrong with you - if there is anything wrong with you - psychologically, philosophically, solve the issues and move on.

>>14286512
Stop actng like morally bankrupt gay people are not the norm.
t.gay

>>14281865
You're not a convincing liar at all.

>>14287790
NOTE: by don't float away I mean don't over-analyze everything you're doing, if you've ever played an instrument it's one of the first realizations you'll make - how easy it is to keep time, to play drum patterns, etc. when you're going by feeling, by gut, and once you leave this state of mindfulness, into being aware of yourself consciously, you begin to think about keeping time, think about what you're playing and you begin to mess up. This existence is the way it is, now you can pick your friends, you can't pick your family in that you were born into that, though you can pick who to stay in touch with, who to leave, you can't decide how civilization should be, where it's supposed to head, though you can entertain these thoughts, you can entertain any thought, but once you begin to desire changes to the the laws of this existence - or begin to question natural processes within us, is breathing moral or immoral, etc. and desire change, you not only waste time but you cause yourself suffering of which there is no cure unless you give up the desire to change it.

>>14281647
Stop posting this cringe on this board

>>14288215
It's like /v/ and /r9k/ burst and are spilling all over this board for some reason. With some amount of /pol/ refugees.

>>14281462
>>14281523
>>14281546
>>14281590
>>14281751
>>14281789
>>14281922
>>14281981
>>14282139
>>14282957
>>14283104
>>14283337
You are all based and I love you for it, bravo.

If I may chime in a quick input from my dealings of sex. As a focal point, we must present the fact of juxtaposition of actual sex and the portrayel of sex in porn and film, or lack of it. Sex with full consent, after a few times with a certain woman is not violent. This violence you may so envision is like waves crashing on a rock, over and over, harder and harder. A windy, mist-filled crash of waves upon the rocks represents porn or film. Now, when you have had a good feeling of her rithym and intensity in actual sex, you give up on this act of performance, the tide is low. The play is over, the masks are off. Soft long stretching waves cast upon the sand and pull pack ever so slowly without a high wind. This sex is pure, raw and an experience of the two involved. No longer is there slapping, choking, penetration, roughness or violence seen in your beloved porn.

It may be hard for you to understand this and it is completely fine, you aren't missing much other than your limbic system is upset. Porn is a show, they are acting not just physically, but vocally as well. Women do not scream in sex just as you do not moan while jerking your dick.

When (and I mean when, there is no lost cause) you experience the rare and true sex of a loved one, you will understand.
/Lit/ is smart and educated. Blessed be thy board, for the godliness will shine light upon thee with a radiant exuberance of sensory overload in a woman sent from above.

I hope you all can defeat the demons and do away with your habits that no longer serve you or your goals in life.
>Stay sexy slick

>>14282139

WTF dude. Uhhh... Get away from your father. Far away. He is crippling you.

>>14282255

Just bite the bullet and get circumcised.

>>14288379
Fuck you Jew, I know what you're trying here, you want to eradicate the traditional family structure, just like Freud and Marx.

>>14288397

No, I don't. But the "family structure" is supposed to nurture rather than cripple. Luckily, like you said, it's a structure. You can find other components to fit into that structure. Blood and genes do not a family make, necessarily.

>>14281462
>He also suggested that a failure to overcome childhood fearfulness and insecurity has resulted in me acting like a child around others, seeking their protection and therefore not presenting myself as a potential sexual partner or even a friend.
No fucking shit Sherlock. Does he have advices?

>>14282957
Integrate your shadow.

everyone struggling with fear of violence and morality should read pic related.

>>14288466
based

>>14281789
I think you may be looking for a mom not a partner.

>>14288417
>>14288397
samefag

>>14288466

The Church of the Sub Genius calls this the "fightin' Jesus"

donations being taken anytime

>>14289140

fuck dude you're a fag
go suck some dicks and have some fun

Based thread. I feel mostly the same as OP does and our experiences with growing up seem to have some similarities as well. I was horribly burned by the only relationship I've had and years later I'm still struggling with being able to intimately trust another person again.

I wish I had the mental strength to have a sexual ONS hookup (with either gender), or visit an escort. I'm effectively already experiencing a similar aimless dopamine hit from watching porn, except this would make me touch another human being while at it. Thinking of doing it arouses yet disgusts me, but not doing it makes me feel weak and emasculated like I'm forever powerless to make myself get what I desire. I've been ruminating about it forever and still can't settle on a decision. What do you think I should do, /lit/? Besides kms.

That complex is just silly - yes, sex is a violent act, possibly it can become an act of pure domination, but that just means that you need to be able to trust your partner to stand up to your acts of transgression and retaliate in kind.
You know what's really terrifying? The thought of being not only rejected, but being seen as a creep, stigmatized and made into an outcast for pursuing a girl, or even showing interest in her. So long as your social position is stable, you really have very little to worry about.

>>14289727
get a therapist, or at the very least curb your habits

>>14289775
>You know what's really terrifying? The thought of being not only rejected, but being seen as a creep, stigmatized and made into an outcast for pursuing a girl, or even showing interest in her.
not terrifying, you just have low self-esteem.

therapy is a scam

>>14290083
proof?

>>14282957
Jodorowsky once said that if you respect a woman, you will never be able to impregnate her.

>>14281551
Off with thee, satan.

>>14290083
If you think someone will magically solve your problems, then yes it is a scam

But it can be empowering just verbalizing and hearing a second opinion on your problems

I've never gone to therapy I just unload all my problems on anyone around. Talking about your problems is the first step to solving them.

>>14290039
>curb your habits
Which ones?

Always weird how it's the incel threads and the religious nut threads that are busy here, while book threads disappear fast. I wonder what the crossover is between the 2 groups.

>>14281523
keep on going for more therapy lmao

>>14281462
>>14281523
>>14282957
How the fuck do you view sex as a violent act? You don't have to choke the girl or aggressively penetrate her or whatever.

For me, it's the exact opposite. Whenever I had sex it was because I felt the girl wanted it or expected me to do it - and I was afraid they would consider me some kind of a loser if I didn't make a move. And during the act, I was completely focused on staying hard and making sure she enjoys/is satisfied with it. At no point I enjoyed it. Thus, it definitely didn't feel violent, but rather like a service I provided.

I don't consider myself asexual, but I find sex deeply impure, as oppose to violent. And so I don't desire it. However, I do believe there might be both some physical and psychological reasons for that. For example, I developed sexual thoughts very early (age 5 or 6) and I used to practice prone masturbation, which I suspect killed my sensitivity. Can you relate to that?

>>14292460
Not him, but related to OP. I only had sexual thoughts since 13. Being assertive and showing a woman "her place" is the no. 1 female sexual fantasy pretty much. Which runs entirely contrary to the modern narrative of women being our equals from a legislative and moral viewpoint. I want a relationship that exists on a mutual benefit basis, not one partner being a cumrag for the other (and there are dozens better males than me to pick for that position anyway).

>>14281462
No shit.
>he needed a shrink to tell him that
I have all that popping in my head all the time, I just can't fix it.

>>14281462
I think that your "sex therapist" is a perverted conformist who is incapable of comprehending the qualitative difference between the purity of childhood, and the vileness of adultery, nor the cause of the fearfulness, and insecurity, that fester within the former when it ignorantly indulges in the latter.

>>14292460
well its probably because you don't view sex as a conquest that you don't enjoy it. Entirely focusing on the partner's pleasure is not fun

>>14284696
I did this too but it was one night and separate bunk beds in college. I had spent the whole afternoon/evening with her completely consumed with anxiety. I think about it every now and then, it’s truly a top 5 cringe moment in my life—perhaps #1? I had fucked (not her) before then, but this was during a particular anxious period of my life when I felt like I was losing control. If I had gone through with it she would’ve been the girl with the biggest tits I’d have ever fucked... damn.
6.5+ years since I’ve had sex, am I basically a virgin again? Do I have any hope in this upcoming new decade?

>>14281474
>The School of Life

>>14288327
The thing is there is a distinction between sex and love. The latter being more instinctual and allowing the passions that inhabit both people in a play of flesh and more rhythmic and the furthest thing from violence.

But then sex comes in "fucking" as it were not for the pleasure rather than the sensuality. This is the destruction, this is the violence when you debase one another. This involves the sucking, choking and slapping. When "love" becomes stale, you've got to drive it up a notch

>>14292683
The worst thing about having sex once or twice early in life and then not having sex again is that you are both largely ignorant of the truly sensual pleasures that only a mature masculine sexual appetite can appreciate (reinforced by a refined psychological perversity) and also are now no longer capable of being remembered as one of history's great virgins, such as Pessoa, Leopardi and so on. If you died and people were aware that you were a virgin, whatever literary work you had completed would be perceived as evidence of a truly profound mind whose genius was alas paid for by his solemn vow never to penetrated or be penetrated sexually. Mere peasants, accustomed to their monthly minutes of thrusting and ill-anticipated release, will gaze upon the work of the literary virgin as they might a cathedral or holy text. It's like in Lord of the Rings you know Arwen is a virgin before she meets Aragorn, it's just obvious. But unless you actually embrace your libido and have sex with multiple women throughout your life, and become the kind of "thrilling" but ultimately rather superficial and hot-headed writer such Coelho, your meagre sexual experience ultimately only serves to deny you entry to both camps. It's a truly tragic fate to have had sex only once or twice. As a virgin with the potential to acquire quite a great deal of posthumous esteem in part due to my chaste nature but also my future literary output, I'm actually quite relieved that I have not had sex, and that I am now sufficiently mature to consciously deny any woman who makes sexual advances towards me. This is not something I would have been independent and confident enough to do a few years ago, when I was desperate to attain the status of a normal person but now I'd like nothing more than to grin at the coded come-on of a girl who wants to get down and dirty and say "No ma'am, I'd rather be Canon"

>>14281523
Your "character" is a mere identity that doesn't really exist.

>>14292825
Your quest is admirable but I am ultimately content that I have fucked, even if my present circumstances are distressed.

>>14281844
>All wise men know power is nothing but a facade.
This level of COPE
Get your testosterone levels checked

lot of mental midgets on this board. the desire to have constant sex with as many partners as possible is subhuman. you are all subhuman. animals that have their instincts in tact aren't in heat 24/7, they keep sex as a seasonal activity, and aren't burdened by constant thinking about it or trying to get it. the goal is to transcend the meat cage, so mocking OP just because he is timid doesn't make you any better than him

>>14286657
this is your brain on j (b) peterson. heaven lays under the feet of mothers.

>>14281462
i heard some ted talk where the specialist said that the sudden rise in prevalence of violence (e.g. choking, other degrading things) in pornography gets people to associate those things to sex, which is ultimately wrong. go watch it, it was some swede woman talking about it.

>>14293201
>ted talk