/lit/ - Literature

momma's boy btfo

>>14128620
>female literature professor
She has no taste to begin with

>>14128620

Does she sit on your face?

>>14128685
/thread
>>14128706
Based and demonic pilled

>>14128620
>mom is a professor
you already knew everything you needed to know but you chose to ignore it

get over it faggot

>>14128620

If it was one of my poems then of course it was a masterpiece.

>ywn be a mom who BTFOs her pseud son

She just wants to encourage you buddy. It's a different kind of relationship from a critical one. Make some friends who will criticize you but not tear you to shreds.

Post the /crit/ thread poem

>>14128620
Don’t be upset, it was probably my poem

>>14128620
She probably figured it's not yours and wanted to mess with you. But tell us, OP, how has she been influential on your intellectual development? My family members are borderline illiterate. I imagine it must be great having a mother like that.

>>14128620
>>mom is a professor of literature at a top 10 university
oh no, poor you

>>14128620
Post a poem

>>14129271
nah, I can just tell it was mine
OP's mom knows what's up, feels good man

>>14128620
Hey OP. If you get the chance can you let your mom know that I got a nice, thick, throbbing "poem" for her that I'd like her to ponder over for a bit. Thanks dude

>>14128620
full image?

Asshole or gtfo

>>14128620

You are meant to Surpass your parents not mimic them

>>14129295
It definitely helped a lot. That and having a brother 8 years older than me. Over dinner they used to always quote books and poems and discuss literature so as a 11 year old I felt really left out and it definitely drove me to read a lot more. By 14 I had read Cervantes, Dumas, Dickens, Faulkner, Salinger, Shakespeare, Nabokov etc
By the time I entered college I had a very well rounded knowledge

>>14129165
It was one of the poems that’s used the phrase “old Algiers” and “zephyr gust” it was in the last crit thread. She said it’s magnificent and wants to stick it on the fridge. The shame is too much bros..

>>14128620
Hey, at least momma loves you

>>14129679
>mfw my mum calls me fat and autistic

>calls it a masterpiece
>still can't give it a 10

Why are women so terrible

>>14129562
Went into the archive and got it
______________________
The destination matters not,
The rain it patters soft,
On vapid glares, and sour stares,
And yet I stay aloft.

Indifferent now, to pains gone by,
What use is having tears?
The boiling sea, chaplain and me,
Dried up in Old Algiers.

What use is all the blowing cheeks,
Against a Zephyr Gust?
Why shy away, from where you'll lay,
One day a mound of dust.

Spare me your milk and honeyed heart,
Your eyes forecast the doom,
For guilty looks, they rest on crooks,
Inside the bleak courtroom.

Bring out that tool of my demise,
And lay it down ground height.
Needn't grandeur, so long as you're
All greeting me with spite

>>14129719
I am gonna venture a guess and say she thinks it’s a masterpiece for a relative newcomer. A 10/10 would be reserved for the best of Emily Dickinson or Poe

>>14129720
This is actually amazing. No wonder your mom got wet over it.

>>14129720
This is pretty good, anon.

>>14129742
>>14129764
I know it is guys, did you think I was memeing? I picked it at random, didn’t even read it when I sent it and now I’ve got to confess to my mom. This is so embarrassing, she’s probably already read it to my dad.

>>14129720
I like this one a lot

>>14129782
Just tell her the truth and laugh it off.

>>14129719
>scaruffi

>>14129720
Your mom's rating was correct, but it's a far cry from a masterpiece

>>14129819
I believe she meant masterpiece out of my current body of work (maybe 30 odd poems I’ve sent her)

>>14129782
Hopefully not. Lol could you imagine cus this would be the first thing your dad would ever be proud over. Lol "yeah dad I copied that poem online". Hha

OP here, this is one of mine for comparison:

The growing of age,
Like the burning of sage,
Dispels our dreams,
And deepens the seams,

By all accounts and measure,
We buy little more from leisure,
Than the passing of the hour,
And the wilting of the flower,

Waste not your breath,
To speak of death,
Who by your side,
Walks stride for stride.

>>14128620
This boy looks hot. Who is he?

>>14129932
Your mother loves you.

>>14129932
Stop relying on end rhyme

Fuck your dad and kill your mother pregnant with your baby.

>>14129326
based except it was mine

>>14129942
The fallen angel. Person doesn't have a name its just an angel who was naughty.

>>14129552
very well rounded knowledge? Thats a retarded sentence OP

>>14129932
what type of poem is this? i know nothing about poetry, but the metre seems all fucked up

>>14129932

>>14129932
Not very good, friend. Pursue other avenues.

>>14129956
>>14130011

Come on guys i-it’s not that bad. That’s actually one of my better ones.

>>14130040
>it's a /lit/ sends another young aspiring artist down the existential trash chuet by shitting on their writing chapter
When will this character ever get his just deserts? This novel is getting so repetitive that I might just drop it

>>14128620
It's almost Christmas
my turn to dress as Santa
I envy the kids

>>14130040
It just pales in comparison to your plagiarism.

On the flip-side, your little experiment hasn't proven anything worthwhile yet. Your mom just rated a good poem as good. Nothing wrong with that. You should send her an actual bad one from a crit thread to see how honest her ratings really are. Or maybe that would shatter your beliefs even further?

>>14129974
Nice poem, I unironically like it.

>>14130067
>browsing /lit/ for plot
ngmi

>>14130078
Ok here’s the new plan, I’m gonna work really hard on this new poem tomorrow. And then I’m gonna copy a bad poem from a crit thread and come back with my results tmrw. I’ll start keeping a spreadsheet too, also it’ll be less embarrassing to just say in three months time that I was running a double blind than admit to plagiarising one poem.

>>14129932
>The growing of age,
>Like the burning of sage,

>>14130040
>That’s actually one of my better ones.
I'm going to give you a pro tip and say to just never admit this.

>>14129932
It's not terrible but your mom is being nice. If white noise is a 5/10, maybe this is a... 5. Not that I usually rank things.

A lot of "the" at the end of the second stanza. "A flower" would have felt more intimate. I think the bigger issue is just that it's trite though. I could read poems like this all day if they actually said interesting things, but when author number #### displays death as maggots crawling through my empty eyes, I'm going to roll them. I would eat a maggot to live forever, this isn't scary. At least you aren't oversaturated, anon.

>>14130122
>double blind
Educate yourself anon. This would only be "single-blind," though I volunteer to text your mom on behalf of you if you really want a double-blind study.

>>14129932
Your feel for meter is shit.

>>14130122
When you publish your first poetry collection you should include the scores your mom gave them

>>14128620
Is that your mom OP?

>>14129932
I am open to a legitimate correspondence. I need an anonymous friend who has a passion for poetry. my email is rillieanntate@gmail.com

>>14129713
she's just giving you feedback, bro

I'n having a difficult time finding something good about his poem
His meter was fucked, there was no narrative, his rhymes were stifling, the tone was none existent, and the theme was devoid of subtlety
How new are you to poetry? Because your shit was honestly worse than some of highly inexpirenced teens you'd find in a crit thread

>>14130190
>passing out your actual email on fucking 4chan

>>14130219
>thinking I am not on multiple levels of anonymity
>thinking this isn't all a part of the game

The first verse really got to me, this poem is a masterpiece and I'm gonna frame it in my room.

Does you mom have big tits? send her this one.

forlorn amidst the stars the moon did hang
and graced mine eyes with lonely pallid sheen
but Hark! an unknown man appeared who sang:
Come gaze upon the maiden i have seen!
whose massive, youthful breasts be in full bloom,
fair milkers larger than the moon above,
bazingas big enough to make thou coom,
so huge i think; perhapst thou fall in love!
and gaze i did, upon her mommy jugs,
whose radiance did revel 'gainst the moon's,
and thought of that orb - never giving hugs -
of then, embracing her two big balloons.

mine heart had made its final decision:
look on her tits with all your precision,
forget ye yonder moon, and all the rest,
she has her own twin moons upon her chest!

>>14130230
Thanks mom

>>14130253
You could've afforded to say milkers before breasts desu

>>14128685
lmao based

>>14130203
IM RIGHT HERE ANON. YOU DONT HAVE TO USE THIRD PERSON.

>>14130294
Tip: read your shit outloud to yourself

>>14130301
Am I the only anon here who felt comfortable parsing it? I want to hear where anons thought it was fucked. I think people were just getting ahead of themselves while reading due to the poem being sortof boring overall.

>>14129956
>>14130001
>>14130011
>>14130038
>>14130137
>>14130166
>>14130203
Ok guys, maybe it’s not too late. Here’s another one of my poems, I don’t need it to be good but please don’t tell me it’s irredeemable.

To have ones heart take flight once more,
Or cease its flutter and forever grow still,
For the lover’s passion is his tonic,
The weary’s sleep an end to the chronic,
But the man in between is crowned in brass,
Burdened by love that has been and is yet to pass,

>>14130342
honestly, its not good. i like the structure and the themes of both the poems you posted, but your flow is just whack, as the niggers say.

>>14130360
By flow do you mean metre? Could you demonstrate how you would write a similar poem (even just two lines) with good “flow”

No worries mate all poetry is equally gay

>>14130342
You seem to be content with poor imagery in favor of a rhyme
>For the lover’s passion is his tonic,
>The weary’s sleep an end to the chronic,
Also you use AA BB CC meter that worsen your problem.
Try something like ABAB or ABA BCB CDC
I would rather sacrifice the rhyme for an alliteration if the imagery is more beautiful.
The good thing about poetry is that it expression within limits. You are using the boundaries of meter and rhyme like you use the frame of a camera, you do not take a shitty shot just to fit stuff into the frame, you adjust your position so it looks nicer.

>>14129956

>>14130461
Ok here’s a more modern poem I did that focuses more on imagery, in my mind it’s very clear but perhaps I am a poor communicator.

fifteen to get ready
lipstick, heels
a scarf for the breeze
a year going steady
door-bell peals
don’t. forget. the. keys.

>>14130505
I hope this is not OP but some imposter posting satire.

>>14130461
Not OP
4Chan knows nothing of poetry. This is a perfect example: prescriptive rules based on foregone conclusions. Why is it poor imagery? Why would you arbitrarily assign a different rhyme scheme without justification aside from "worsening the problem"? (how convenient "the problem" is left without a referent!) Your most egregious crime is suggesting poetry must "sacrifice" one element for another... you must me mediocrity incarnate.

I am not upset at you in particular. It's just this thread (and the website as a whole) is full of dilettantes advising a student.

>>14130513
It’s me, is it that bad? I thought it was good, I was listening to a lot of jazz and that informed my style.

>>14129295
From my experience you get more bad than good from a competent successful parent. The characteristics that promote worldly success are disadvantageous when it comes to childraising.
The best ones are those caring doting types ,and nine out of ten times they are professionally unsuccessful

>>14130505
The last line blows. Fourth line just gives me a really long scarf. First three aren't horrible. They were funcional.

She's gone away, flying on a jet plane
Told me she won't be back again
And Talulah, Talulah is her name
But I got this thing, girl I wanted to say to you
Talulah, I'm still missing you

Baby can't you stop that plane, turn it around
I still love you babe - Talulah (background singers)
Tell the captain that I'm to blame
I'm to blame

This ink, stained with tears
Oh, these letters from, my heavy heart - My heavy heart
This, is what I always feared
That these sparks would fly - Fly
And we would break apart - We would break apart
But I got this thing, girl I wanted to say to you
Talulah, I'm still missin' you - Talulah
I miss you so

Baby can't you stop that plane, turn it around
I still love you baby
Tell the captain that I'm to blame
I'm to blame

You've got to stop that plane, turn it around
Turn it around

You gotta' stop, you gotta' stop it now, but turn it around
You're my magic star, don't you fly too far from me
From me, from me, can't you see

There's a hole in my soul - There's a hole in my soul
And I'm losing control - Think I'm gonna' lose control
And it's not too late for you to be my magic star
Come and see me baby
So sorry to tell - Now I'm so sorry to tell
I think control may not help -Thinkin' of you may not help
Can't it stay the same, cause your on my wing
Gotta' stop that plane come and see me baby

She's gone away, flying out, on a jet plane
Told me she, won't be back again
And Talulah, Talulah is her name

I curl-up-tight, so long I cant sleep at night
Return to sender that's me tonight - Tonight, tonight
I really think I'm lost in space
I shut my eyes, I still see her face - I'm lost in space tonight
Reach out touchin', your self embrace
You got to stop that plane

Now there's a hole in my soul
And I'm losing control
Stop that plane, I know you don't hear me,
But stop that plane

>>14130505
but what is this saying? what does this mean anon? just a person going to the office? there's not a hint of your thoughts, where is your pathos anon, where is your pain, your existential dread? where is your barbaric AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

>>14130373
its not just about meter, its about the overall aesthetic of the words and how well they mesh together within the meter, which is more so just a skeleton you build on. even if your meter is perfect, the poem can still be shit, and likewise, you can stray from the pattern of the meter and still end up with a good poem.

A heart warm and beating,
And one sick of eating.
Sweet love's first relief,
Then an end to it's grief.
The poor heart in between's
Ripped apart at the seams.

>>14130525

>>14130514
>Why is it poor imagery?
Generally what people mean by this is that little image was presented at all, in a phenomenological sense.

>suggesting poetry must "sacrifice"
That isn't what he said though. He specifically chided anon for doing this, and then told him to get a better shot, presumably one which gets the best of both worlds (not that anon has too much of either).

>>14128620
Ask her to rate this masterpeice. pic related

>>14128620
i hope you know your mother takes loads of young dicks.

>>14130568
a most impressive use of repition for someone so young

>>14130524
>>14130531
Have you ever seen a woman get ready for a date? The poem is supposed to present the image of how a woman gets ready, they often wait until they only have fifteen minutes left, usually they put high heels on first then apply lipstick, often right before stepping out, usually this is when the doorbell rings because their date has arrived, they will often step out then head back on when they see how cold it is and just grab a scarf because anything extra would ruin their “look” and finally they remember the keys last. I have seen this play out dozens of times, it’s an archetype of dating at this point. They also grab the keys last and feel relief because they almost forgot them. It’s a minimalist poem by design but yet it has all the major “beats” you witness if you see this play out. Also going steady means dating so a year going steady in the context of the poem is a clue that she’s going to go on an anniversary date.

>>14130545

If that's what they mean, then that is a pathetic justification. A small amount? What, then, the best imagery is a deluge of image without regards to what it pertains to, how its constructed?

"I **would rather sacrifice** the rhyme for an alliteration if the imagery is more beautiful."

Now giving it a second thought, this anon has given no tought to the purpose of rhyme or anything.

>>14130514
roses are wet
it's late and it's raining
if my post made you upset
you could give some advice to OP instead of talking shit like a coward and complaining

>>14130568
this poem is unironically very powerfull. There is something about this poem that gives me a feeling i cant quite put the finger on. No poem has ever impressed me or made me think or feel anything but this one has. For me this truly is the best poem i have ever read. I like it. Good job Nael, you have a great future ahead of you.

>>14130593
>more imagery would be nice
>so you think sheer quantity is the only valuable trait?

>>14130590
>Have you ever seen a woman get ready for a date?
yes, they take 2 hours to get ready and are at least 30 minutes late but they're lovely so it doesn't matter

>>14128685
Can’t say anything better than this.

She is probably being sincere anon (because she has no judgment).

/thread

>>14130253
Better than OP's, lol

>>14129720
you're probably not looking for a critique, but:

it's pretty good. first line in fourth stanza is bad. Only time the meter is off, and you don't do anything to offset it, and neither does the poem. Last stanza first line sort of does this. "Needn't grandeur?"

>>14129932
>>14129956

AHEM

>>14128706

>>14129720
>milk and honeyed
literally Rupi Kaur tier

>>14129720
This is kinda plain
>>14130253
This on the other hand was what makes /lit/ once great.

>>14132112
>he doesn't know his bible

>>14129720
I don't really like it.

>>14128620
Soothe pale light to the faint of heart, unto weak eyes it sees to the mute lips it speaks.
cute
funny
into one hierarchy
Cunny.

>>14128620
kek, btfo

>>14129720
>rhymes
trash tier automatic 3/10

I want to fuck your mom while she recites Paradise Lost

>>14129720
This sucks. It's like Invictus but worse. So many tropes, zero creativity.

It's well made, but useless.

>>14130505
actually pretty good

>>14128620
>listening to a female

How about this then?
______________________
I paralyzed the lord while going strong,
Amongst the Calvary where the tributaries and the miles,
Flies going back as to defile,

Everything the man had,
When he was simple and he didn’t have,
His shoes are plenty but the river water’s murk,

He wastes away while his children work,
To spread the message, yet abound,
On a tree he’s being hanged,

But he cannot tell the weather,
It’s better to be alone now,
Since he cannot carry on forever,
While his children are still asleep.

>>14130523
English professors are not "successful."

>>14132263
>It's well made, but useless.
like virtually all 'romantic' poetry?
all they say is
>muh nature
>muh fleeting time
>muh (un)requited love (aka this woman make my pp hard, such complex feelings you couldn't understand bro)
>muh memento mori
romanticism is for brainlets and coomers

>>14132681
>implying anything else in life is culturally or socially relevant than the inexorable march of time and the whimsical nature of love
Stick to capeshit

>>14132733
>all you're left with after dumping romanticism in the thrash is capeshit
so this is the power of a coomer's brain

>I know beggars can't be choosers
>and you work a lot with losers
>but this felt a bit like treason
>if I'm trash, what is the reason?
>I can't see by what criterion
>would my poetry be so inferior
>Is this indifference and neglect?
>Is it just lack of respect?
>No, the issue is genetics!
>It was never academics!
>It was all just a delusion
>And I came to this conclusion:
>I never wanted your critique
>or join a stupid literate clique
>All I wanted - and I'll ask with grace
>was you to, please, sit on my face...?

>>14129720

>Pale memories are mirth and glee
>I march alone in this desert forlorn
>Ne'er will there be respite for me
>The Ultimate Life Form

>>14128685
I'm forever amazed that some young men on this board, who can't be more than 25, are convinced they're more knowledgeable and well-read than genuine professors of literature. It's got to be the most arrogant and distasteful quality of this board. I can only assume that you believe yourselves smarter than people who've worked for decades in the field because you've never actually met any of them, or bothered to engage with their work. It's really just cringe-inducing to imagine the encounters you'd have with professors.

>>14132753
>equating romanticism with 'coomer' lust
You should really read more you uneducated buffoon

>>14128620
>another anon is a better poet than you
owned

>>14130590
Did you go on a safari? This almost reads like a pasta.

>>14130525
sounds like a rap

>>14128685
Sage

>>14129720
not gonna lie, this was pretty good
but then again, im not a poet

>>14133003
>This is tougher than the fight
>between Goku and Majin Buu
>what outstanding speed and might!
>"is this all that you can do?"
>He says, tipping his fedora
>"I've been only toying with you."
>The ground shatters as his aura
>reaches levels close to max
>I dive in, ORAORAORA!
>but he's dodging all my attacks
>There's no way he can be this fast!
>Now he's gone! I lost his tracks!
>Then I feel it through my chest
>that long blade, my death knell
>Was his power... still... suppressed?!
>I spew blood, it hurts like hell!
>And behind me, as I drop dead
>I hear "Nothing personnel!"

Imagine seeking the literary approval of a woman lmao

Send her this next OP:

Into my little bag I put the watch
that I bought in Aleppo
I'll keep track of time
until I return to you
Aleppo

>>14128620
>mom is a professor of literature
i guarantee you she is a slut

>>14132733
t roastie who wants to feel deep and sad jsut before being fucked raw

>>14129932
This reads like an edgy 10th grade student what the fuck is this. /lit/ has zero dignity

>>14129932
The growing of dick,
Like the burning of weak,
Dispels our creams,
And deepens the stains.

By all accounts of pleasure,
We cum little more from measure,
Than the passing of the shemale,
And the blooming of her flower.

Waste not your semen,
To speak of real men,
Who by your side,
Just walked on by.

>>14130525
Based and Jamiroquaipilled

There's a place on the web where I often go
Known only to those who are those in the know
The users are chubby and their thoughts underweight
When they don't have the knowledge they make due with hate

The capslock is on and the keyboard connected
Your ironclad logic with a rude word rejected
Let's talk about politics, let's talk about Peterson
Literature? Sorry, I forgot what board I was on.

Mummy mummy burning bright
Tell me if my poems are right
Are they tens? I'll settle for fours.
I'm single because all of the roasties are whores

And then I got bored and stopped writing this doggerel.

>>14133003
this.

It's really amazing how spiteful and pretentious someone can become if they never have any valuable social interactions outside of the internet and, consequently, blame their pathetic life on everyone else.

>>14129720
I will never not kek at english poetry, why even try with a language like that?

>>14130519
Do you think Byron ever listened to fucking jazz?

>>14133003
I mean sure, but this person is also OP's mom, and in addition to that not all professors are going to be dropping their whole power level on each and every student they crit either way as they don't have the free time of a NEET. I'm all for bashing the anons you've targeted but let's not pretend her 8/10, 9/10 rankings of said anons were in any way serious.

>>14133874
what if they are right?

It oozes
soothes
but only for a bit.

What it leaves is more permanent and visible.
A mark, a target.

Those with a penchant for ridicule.
Those with a mind just as tortured as mine.
Those that can't stand to see themselves reflected.
They find the bullseye.
How arrows fly and hit their target.
I'm wooden now, I feel the arrows collide with my being
but i am no longer capable of feeling pain as they would describe it.
I hope I lighten their load.
I serve my purpose, a martyr maybe.
I'm thankful, a truth I despise but know is true.

For when they leave the real pain comes back.
That one is only silenced when I open my skin.

Once again it oozes
soothes
but only for a bit.

>>14133260
this is why i come to lit
i rate it allen ginsburg/10

>>14135854
same, it's an astounding work of dazzling, touching mastery.

7 fully erect horse cocks out of 10

>>14128685

>>14135177
I like it but feel like I'm relying on the context of the thread

>>14135104
Of course not, a mother will always protect her son. I just find it insane that there are genuinely anons on this board who do a surface read of the /lit/ meme 100 and then assume knowledge equivalent to a professor (female or male). But yeah, no doubt a professor’s opinion will always be biased if it’s their son they’re talking about.

>>14133874
>>>/reddit/
>>14130519
Jazz is pleb-tier.
>>14133003
Read Revolt of the Masses. Also, considering the state of modern education, even higher education, I don't blame them. Watch Hjernevask.

Hark: my dear, are you bereft?
Art thee in need of brevity?
Stark, in fear, what more is left,
Than plea for breeding heavenly?

>>14129720

>Against a Zephyr Gust

yikes

>Inside the bleak courtroom.

huge yikes

>>14133003
>t. triggered hole

it was my poem. your mother is now my hole

>>14129720
Absolute fucking trash, this. And that’s ignoring the fact that a current publisher wouldn’t touch this with a ten-foot pole.

>>14129720
>>14129562
She probably gave you a nicer rating because it's edgier than the rest of what you posted, raising her concern.

>>14137399
EXXXXXXXXXIT LIGHT
ENTERRRRRRR NIGGGHT
TAAAAKE MY HAAAAAAND
WE'RE OFF TO NEVER NEVER LAND

>>14138560
kek

>>14129720
It's pure shit

>>14137878
Very mature

>>14133003
Nah, I don't think I'm that smart. I just think most professors are useless and illiterate rice-farmers literally have more to contribute to intellectual studies than most professors ever will.
Also
>people who've worked for decades in the field
I bet most profs have likely never even seen a field.

>>14138974
kek

You wrote the last part first though, didn't you?

>>14138974
>Nah, I don't think I'm that smart.
I agree, let’s leave it there, shall we?