/lit/ - Literature

>>14102325
>tfw keep throwing questions about ugaritic poetry in the entrance exam just to fuck with the pseuds

>>14102325
>he didn't start with the sumerians

>defeat library security with only my fists
>they send in police officers
I only wanted to see the books

>tfw they replaced the tap water with Coke®

>>14102363
me on the left

>want to borrow a lovecraft for october
>all of his books were sealed in waterproof bags and thrown into a gigantic water contener full of poisonous octopus

>only copy of the kalevala was left in the library sauna and I have a micropenis

>someone put the bible in the non-fiction section again

>get challenged to a duel for the right borrow to the last available copy of Moby Dick
>lose
it's not fair bros

>>14102595
Kek

>the homeless built a book fort again

>>14102325
>western canon

libtard liberal arts academicians don't believe in that anymore

>move back to home town, try to renew my library card
>I'm flagged for two Animorphs books from 1997
>fees add up to $38,250
Looks like it's back to debtor's prison

We told you anon, Start with the Sumerians. It wasn't a meme.

>>14103642
>What is this, literature for Ben Stiller?

>>14103765
Do you hate fun?

>>14103842
no, just libtards ruining the liberal arts

>somebody moved the western cannon to the library's east side again
whoever's doing this, it's not funny

>>14102549
>library attendent for this section is the only nigger in the building
Devilish.

>>14102565
kek

whats their IRC channel?

>library magus used the necronomicon to kill some spiders in the attic again
one day he'll mess up and kill everyone here, no joke

>>14102363
Me on the right grabbing the boob

>resident library gnomes have been caught molesting elderly visitors again

Why cant we just read in peace?

>someone is playing Minecraft on the library computer without turning off the music again

>>14103762
Laughed so much

>>14104235
Kek

>tfw have to get an anal check to see if I'm fit to start with the Greeks

>library prostitute has a crush on me
>constantly tries to sexually provoke me into staying and offers freebies
I just want to get my James Ellroy and go home.

>>14104275
>the Librarian forces me to read the first line from the speech by Cicero before giving it to me
>tfw it takes 15 minutes

>>14102325
>failed the 5 hour Western Canon exam
Good thing /lit/ will take absolutely any shit from anyone, eh?
I swear this fucking board gets more shit every day

>>14102325
Begin with the Bronze Age

>>14104398
Are you this autist? >>14103245

>europoor visiting USA
>decide to check out famous library of congress
>"i'm afraid we're full tonight, do you have a reservation?"
>tfw left my tipping cash at home

>>14104854
>>14104398

>didn't let the bull fuck my gf
>can't study in the library today

Such is life in the modern day.

>>14104220
kek

>>14103910
underrated

>>14102595
>>14103762
>>14103910
>>14104220
best ones

>library boomer is using the reading machine
>he's reading fucking In Search of Lost Time

>librarian catches me reciting shakespeare aloud as if i were performing it
>fires me out of the western cannon

Ahaha great, any more that I can repost for karma and gold?

Are these supposed to be jokes or real experiences? Because they are horrible either way.

>>14102332
>mfw the ba'al cycle

>tfw library entrance exam is recitation of sumerian court poetry from the isin-larsa period

damn this thread is some reddit tier garbage

>>14107415

>all the search computers are occupied by people playing miniclip games

>>14103762
>tfw got levied by the librarian again to siege the homeless fort
>it's been 8 weeks now
>i just wanted to borrow artemis fowl for my little brother

Laughing at all of you faggots.
I used to go just to whack off in the bathroom.

whats the point of a library if you already know the entire canon

>>14108099
to flex on pseuds and charm the cute librarians

>>14102325
>must pass test to enter the library
>can't enter the library to study for the test
WTH?

>>14102325

>take my falcon to the library to check out Infinite Jest (he wants to reread it)
>barely pass the pleb inspection and only pass the No Singles policy because of my falcon
>guy right in front of my gets pulled for a random girlfriend screening, breathe sigh of relief because I wouldn't have made it for sure
>walk through security, have to take off my belt and my shoes and my falcon gets stopped for a random screening
>finally make it to the fiction section after having to wait ten minutes for the monorail from the non-fiction section
>have to stop at the concession stand because my falcon is hungry
>order some popcorn for me and some crab legs for my falcon
>go up to cute librarian at the desk and ask "Hi ma'am, can you tell me where you keep your Wallace?"
>she turns to me and looks annoyed
>"David Foster?"
>"Yes ma'am"
>she blows a bubble with her gum and says "you'll have to pass the canon exam"
>go into back room
>have to sit for a 4 hour exam on the history western literature
>can barely recite pages from Finnegans Wake from memory
>falcon almost fails but is saved by The Greeks section (he studied in advance)
>librarian lady comes back and leads me to a large vault door
>have to do retina scans, fingerprints, and penis inspections before it's unlocked
>almost get a boner when she's fondling my penis to check for lumps
>finally get to see the tome I've been looking for
>go to check it out when the librarian says "wait, you've passed your virginity screening, right"
>start sweating, my falcon is nervously munching on his crab legs at this point
>"y-yes"
>she knows I'm lying
>they kick me out of the building and put me on 1 year surveillance to make sure I don't even think about going back to the library
>mfw

>>14108281
Why don't you just have sex?

>>14108281
>>14108355
Look for woman to marry and stop all this childish lamentation.

>>14108703
based nairaland ppster

>>14102565

huutis

>>14108281
Too much rehashing of the /tv/ original.

>>14107688
>the librarian makes us charge the homeless fort again
>trying to scale the walls
>an single volume edition of summa theologicae drops on the guy next to me killing him
>return to our camp beaten and covered in urine

ITT: things that didn't happen

You guys are worse than SJWs

>>14109953
What's your fucking problem? Do you seriously think people lie on the internet?

>>14110083
Well there's boards of faggots pretending they're white, pretending they watch tv, and pretending they read.

So yeah, I'm thinking they're lying.

>>14102332
based and keretpilled

>>14105086
real men share their gf

>>14108281
>>finally make it to the fiction section after having to wait ten minutes for the monorail from the non-fiction section

>>14108193
most librarians are old catlady

>>14109032
Do you have a link?