/lit/ - Literature

>>13904188
i literally never talked to a female for more than 5 minutes. all i know about females comes from 4chan and twitter screenshots

>>13904188
I am literally going to coom soon because I want to and there is nothing (0) you can do to stop me from cooming all over the imaginary cunny.

- If you are not highly intelligent, highly dilligent, and honest to to point of genius: don't think to hard 'bout it, son
- Base your ideology on aesthetics and don't ask questions once you get the ball rolling
- A kind of guideline: do what most people don't do

>>13904188
i think too much, and cant be alone without becoming sad. The strange thing is I love being on my own, but recently I can't. I have become involved with a girl from Belgium who I romanticize, and each time I space out my mind wanders to her and our relationship, which I want to stop. It's easier to be alone.

>>13904193
I've only been talking to females lately and it's getting to me

>>13904188
I will never be a respected intellectual. I am doomed to forever be a pseud; too educated for the normies yet to oblivious to be part of the mainstream discourse on any given subject.
I am caught in the limbo.
How do I cope with this, guys?

>>13904215
be yourself :)

I successfully quit 4chan for a day through vowing to God. However, I wasn’t so productive with my time. I read a few pages of Coiled Serpent and extended my nofap streak to day 14, but I wasted so much time on YouTube and games that I didn’t study as much as I should have. Occasionally I’ll wonder if I have what it takes to finally improve myself and make myself stand out. I will have to, if I want to be with her. If only I had as much love for God as I did for her, then I would not be so torn right now. But still, it is a good thing to have a wife. Well, I’ll have to be waiting a while for that good thing. And it’s not easy. Several girls around campus have either obviously or subtlety indicated interest in me, which is usually not a big deal, but two in particular have been in my mind recently, one because of lust, and another because I enjoy being around her. One shakes her butt for me, the other desperately wants me to make a move, saying things so obviously manipulative that it’s hard not to start laughing right to her face. But she’s nice, and I like talking to her, especially since no girls ever willingly talk to me as a friend. I have few friends in general, but that’s mostly because of my quiet personality. In high school, everyone was my friend. In college, I can count them on my hands.

But everyday, she’s always on my mind. When I look in the mirror I wonder if I’ll be good enough. When I’m exercising and feel like giving in to the pain, i think of her. I wish I could say that I study for her, but I can’t. It’s just so boring, and I’ll have a 4.0 with minimum effort anyway, so my body detests the unnecessary work. Always, I think of what the perfect path of action might be, and how significant the difference in result is between the perfect path and the path I’m on now. Sometimes, I convince myself there is no real difference. “I don’t need to do all this. I’ll be with her anyway.” Or “I don’t need to do all this. I’ll never be with her anyway.” If only I knew what it takes, then I would do it all with no complaints.

>>13904215
Lie to normies, be honest to intellectuals.

>>13904188
The phenomenon of friendship (and best-friendship).

It's my favorite kind of the 'big three' relationships. There's no familial obligation to be somebody's friend, and no sexual or lustful attraction, either. You just love them for who they are inside and all of the good times you've had. Not that there is anything wrong with the kind of love your parents gave you, or the kind of affection you can get from your girlfriend or boyfriend, but there is something truly special about the love of a friend. It lies in the deepest places of your heart. They're your true 'soul-mates'. So tell your best-friend today how much they mean to you.

I kind of wish that I had more to say about it. I don't think I can do it justice. Maybe somebody has already written something on the subject, but better.

>>13904219
Return to the fundamentals of ethics, anon. Through good habits and good actions you'll develop the virtue to manage.

nofap and internet-breaks and stuff can be useful to break bad habits, but don't let them be the end. Put faith in God and ask the Holy Ghost to help you develop virtue.

>>13904219
>blablabla
Just get a job, you lazy bum. Most of your problems stem from boredom, I guarantee it.

>>13904215
kil yourself wojakposting trannie

>>13904276
I don’t see how that would help.

i want to go to church again, but not here. it's suddenly easy and joyful when i' in other cities, someplace else.

>>13904659
Just try it, you might like it. If not, you can go back to being a useless waste of space at any point

>>13904694
So all jobless students are useless wastes of space?

>>13904659
don't listen to him, working a hated job lliterally destroys a man. better quit youtube and curb your gaming habit. read something for fun - reading itself is a brain-strengthening act.

>>13904204
Like

There's a woman at work whom I find attractive but whom I'll never have reason to interact with. We work for the same company, but it's a conglomerate and we're in different divisions. We just happen to work in the same building and on the same floor in a building in Manhattan.

I want to die.

>>13904215
masturbate

>>13904219
The coiled serpent has POWER flowing through its pages. I feel it when I read it. I can see all obstacles in my way.

how to win dota2

im too much of a coward to find challenging job and too prideful to take on simple one.

>>13904188
My insides feel weird. and i am tired.

>>13904813
Forced 50% and russians/peruvians, you cant do anything.

>>13904797
Just last night I had sexual images in my dream, but I was aware of them, and my lusts unto them were weak, like thoughts in waking consciousness. I looked back to the real images, which were actual images stored on my phone, and deleted them, and forgot them.

I fantasized about killing myself walking home yesterday. I thought about throwing myself off that bridge, I just wanted to feel the fall with all my heart. I knew I wasn't being ironic anymore; I felt like crying. When I got home I had ramen and tea, and I realized that I wasn't really suicidal, I was just hungry

I don't know who I am or where I'm going, when will I have enough? When will i tire of all this?

i should quit art and such and get to maths and such

So lately I've been trying to experience without context and I think there isn't that much actual joy or happiness in my life.

>>13904704
School is a job.

I read the first 50 pages of the Savage Detectives in bed with a cup of coffee. At some point I fell asleep and had dreams about cute prostitutes hugging me. I awoke 15 minutes ago and now I feel like I'm high, the world doesn't feel real, I think I'll go take a walk and tell a girl that I love her.

>>13904215
I'm in a similar position. Realizing that I'll never read all the books I need or meet the people who would help me gain influence, I've decided to write semi-intellectual novels and stories.

The feeling of not knowing what you need to know is a good motivation for literature. Haruki Murakami's whole career practically has been predicated on his being intelligent but shut out of the usual channels for the life of the mind.

Currently I'm working on a novel about a high school teacher who becomes besotted by one of his students. She speaks many languages and comprehends everything he teachers her very quickly. Soon enough he realizes that she's going to step over him intellectually. This fills him with a kind of nostalgia for the present, since he understands that one day he will not matter greatly to her, but she will still be the polestar of his belief in the promise of the human.

And at the same time, the MC is head and shoulders above his peers to the point where his casual conversation makes some of them irrationally angry. And he gets in fights with his extended family constantly since most of his relatives have rudimentary intellectual aspirations, but spent their 20s partying and buying typical bourgeois shit, while MC spent his 20s teaching and reading.

More in general, I hope that my little story will address the topics of artists and beauty; and of artists and morality; and the individual's need to love as counterpoised to the passion for a destructive insistence of human sameness.

>>13905088
That's really beautiful

>>13905003
stop saying and such as well

>>13904215
listen to liszt's music and read his letters. you'll see there's more than one way to live a high-minded life.

> was writing a medium length reply to a peaceful lively discussion
> post
> "this thread does not exist"
FUCK, and i can't capitalize that enough, jannies. the thread raised an ethical question, very related to philosophy, which wouldn't gain a single reply in /his/.

I wish I was a brain dead normie, but I'm cursed with the desire to know, and the desire to create something far more grand than myself. It's terrible, art and beauty and music are entrapments. It's like having weights strapped to your legs

>>13905138
were you responding to the comment about the dilemma?

>>13905147
it was a thread asking if first worlders have it better, with a boomer comic op pic. shit thread that emerged into a truly interesting discussion

>>13905088
More power to you, tbqh
Still, you can't into the pain I was describing.
There a loads of fiction writers who made it without having credentials.

I suck at writing fiction though. I used to study philosophy but had to drop out because of mental health issues.
Cultural anthropology, psychology and (social) philosophy are fields that have always fascinated me but now I'm too old to get a degree. And without a degree, I will never be able to contribute to these fields. My dreams are dead but I'm slowly coming to terms with that.

I really like your concept though, I'd imagine a very dialogues driven book that raises more questions than it answers. Care to share an excerpt?

>>13904262
Montaigne has a chapter about it in his Essays. Aristotles talks about it in his Ethica Nicomachea. And I know Cicero and Seneca have some nice writings on friendschip. Maybe worth checking out if you're interested!

men these days (straight ones) are so starved for openly positive attention that a modest complement can make them halt just to comprehend and absorb it fully, it's so rare they'd immidiately start valuing an honest complementer, and i'm so goddamn glad greedy women havent started abusing this yet.
the girl who complemented me first time we met is now my best bro for over a year

I read William Blake's "Auguries of Innocence" at the used bookstore and I felt a kind of mstic light streaming over my shoulder and neck. IT reminded me of first grade when I used to feel my teacher's gaze on the back of my neck, as she passed over my desk checking up on my reading progress. I hadn't felt that kind of look in 25 years. Made me want to revisit Blake as well as Northrop Frye his distinguished critic.

Lapsed evangelical protestant Christian and Catholic-curious white male btw.

>>13905244
i'm glad you've experienced the forgotten, and with all respect,
> Catholic-curious
is the funniest shit i've read today, made me smile kindly, thanks man

I read an article about how China is harvesting organs from Uighur Muslims and now I'm speechless and uncomfortable.

>>13905288
i've also read many articles on this. makes me scared beyond belief, even warcrime atrocities can't compete with quiet domestic tyranny, it's a horrible wonder how the entire world knows yet nothing can be done.
whatever these people believe in, i think they deserve a pass to heaven for enduring the deepstate hell on earth.

My parents left for Europe this morning and left the house and our cars to me for two weeks. The longest time I've ever spent away from them

>>13905299
>whatever these people believe in, i think they deserve a pass to heaven for enduring the deepstate hell on earth.
Anyone does.

The past shortens the cone of the future. When we are young, there are more possibilities open to you. As time passes and we accrete more past structure, fate sharpens into a definite point. What could be becomes what is, and then what is kills the could be. I realize now that only so much is left for me and I must accept it. I've reached the end of the beginning and am facing down the beginning of the end.

Another way of thinking about it that every binary (yes or no) decision divides your world into two, until your world is finally cut down to the single pattern that it is. I've already sliced life into a thin strip, and that is what I must call mine.

>>13905331
bruh.

"Whenever you think about her you lose your moorings in Time. You don't know what is."
Then, facing him even more seriously, she began to lean close.
"You don't know what has been," There was a pensive, sighing wist in her voice. "Things that don't exist anymore seem to still exist. Things that haven't happened seem to have happened. You imagine you're Department Head, maybe even Vice Principal." He wondered if she meant to attack or to citicize him in this. After all when they first met it was his mention of wanting a PhD/DEd and not only the DEd that had won her over; and she had loved to hear him talking coolly of how he would make Department Head by 31 and Principal by 37.
He was nearly 35 and still only an ordinary teacher. He supervised the literary magazine, and when Daniel Moon's photography club went on trips up to the northern woods, in quest of black bears and gray wolves to record in their natural habitats, then he dutifully or gladly served as chaperone.
He helped coach the fencing team; the men's saber squad.
He thought again of "As You Leave the Room." The poet had said, "Today's character is not a skeleton out of its closet. Nor am I. I wonder, have I lived a skeleton's life, as a disbeliever in reality, a kinsman to all the bones in the world?"
"Always thinking of Angela," Catherine said.
"You know me,"
"She's going to become a doctor," Catherine said. "She's going to write diet-books and guidelines for improving health and wellness. She'll look down on you for philosophizing about Proust and Saint Augustine while she's saving lives all day. But you know, even if you don't make District Superintendent by 45, and even if she never dedicated a book to you, you might yet help somebody..."
"Who, myself?"
"What about Sherman?" Sherman was a black boy in his AP Lang Comp class. He wasn't very bright but he had a respect or even reverence for scholarly learning. Sherman wrote cliched poems which - to Jerome's perhaps racist eye - seemed like the attempts of a boy raised in an ebonics-speaking household to write not rap-lyrics but poems redolent of Milton or Ben Jonson. A black boy who desired the dignity and decorum and manners of the white world (or rather what the white world might once have seemed to be).
"You know she mocked me today. She said, 'I'm busy achieving philosophical perfection.'
She was implying that I never start anything till the matter is completely settled in my mind. She meant that everything I try to write or teach is over-intellectualized."
"I don't think she meant it that way. Young girls and young boys will blurt out any words they enjoy hearing."
She looked at him.
"You know," Catherine said. "Just because she's smarter than you, and will soon be better-educated, that doesn't mean she holds you in complete contempt. She is young and she knows you've supported her. IT's very possible that, while you're not her intellectual equal, she still wants you to like her, and be fond of her."

>>13905378
meant for
>>13905170

Tomorrow I'll be giving my first class, in a university, and I'm really starting to be scared. The point is that I'm usually terrified to speak in public and now I'll be teaching 30-40 zoomers at a time while having to appear confident. I'm doing it for the PhD money but man I'm starting to be shaky. Do all teachers feel that way before starting their first classes ? Anyone have some sort of advice for the public speaking thing ? Can I get a friendly (You) ?

>>13905481
(You) are going to be alright.

Neuromancer is a terrible snoozefest. Poorly writen and not much content. Gonna stop after I reach page 10

>>13905378
>>13905384
I like the concept, though it seems a bit obvious, if that makes sense. This is not a critique thread, so I'll keep it at that. The part about the black teenager trying to write something other than rap lyrics made me chuckle a bit.
Keep it up!

>>13905481
Just remember: you are smarter than anyone on that place and if you appear confident they will look at you with respect or ar least some kinda of fear - you are the a teacher, someone who knows about what you are talking about it and they are just students, children - wich means you are in advantage is this social interaction, so use that in your favor.
At least this is what I learned by observing my teachers on Uni.

>>13904262
St. Augustine on Friendship:
>To talk and be merry together, to be sweetly obsequious to one another, together to read vain books, together to jest and again to keep a kind of civil gravity, to dissent sometimes from one another even as a man would do from himself, yea and by those dissentings - which yet did happen very rarely - to season our usual consent of minds, to teach one another somewhat or to learn something of one another, to expect such as were absent with impatience and to embrace such as returned with joy. And by such signs as these, issuing out of the hearts of us, who loved and who repaid each other's love by the countenance, the speech, the eyes, and by a thousand most delightful motions, did we melt our minds, which were as several fuels to one fire, and out of many fashioned only one.
>This it is which is beloved in friends, and so beloved that a man even chargeth his conscience with it, if he love not again the person who loveth him, demanding nothing else of him save the mutual demonstration of goodwill.

>>13905481
Teachers, at least in my country, get lots of practical experience before teaching a class on their own, usually while supervised by someone more experienced. Plus, there are mandatory internships, classes on pedagogics, and so on. You don't have any of that. Enjoy!

>>13905129
Liszt's music is absolutely atrocious though

>>13904193
Trust me you're not missing out on anything. It's like talking to a child impersonating an adult.

My self image has gone thru a complete 180 in the last few months. I went thru a summer of complete self pity and isolation. I just started uni. Blank slate and all; i feel like a new human being. I got a girlfriend recently, she's really hot and nice and I could've never imagined getting myself a girl at all but a girl like this! She keeps saying how she could've never imagined that she'd end up with a guy who looked like me. Even though she is an 8/10 (Stacy if you're using incel speak), she's thinking about joining a sorority, she's just absolutely beautiful.I keep hearing shit like "we get it: anon FUCKS" or "what'd you bang her and never talk to her again?" or "oh you're one of THOSE guys aren't you". I see the way girls look at me now, maybe im crazy or a narcissist, I see girls eye fucking me, I see them staring at me with their mouths open, I've gotten girls Instagrams from their windows. Im starting to find myself attractive, I love the way i look in the mirror, Im dressing like a fuckboy now instead of wearing the same pair of pants and flannel everyday. When i try to tell people about how i feel they say im a narcissist or that im just bragging and yeah, but i dont know any other way to describe it. Im starting to believe it. I thought i was dirt before. I think im intimidating people. I met up with a friend from my hs who's a nerd and he had this nerdy guy with him whod i never met and we got joking around and all that and after five minutes he just walked off. I hear alot that im intimidating but i dont see it. The only one i can really talk about this with is my girlfriend and shes doing her midterms, i wont be able to see her until saturday. I really miss her. Im struggling to make sense of who i am. I was seriously considering becoming a priest or hiring a prostitute just for a kiss. Im so confused now. from age 12 ive been telling myself im nothing and now i feel like i woke up in a new body. im still as depressed as i was before. i cant wait till saturday, i cant wait to take my gf out for dinner and congratulate her on her midterms, shes really smart, a med student; i just slotted into the easiest possible humanities program; she's such a catch, i cant believe it. im going crazy

My wisdom teeth are killing me, I'm counting down the days until they're taken out of my stupid head. So I'm getting high off codeine and watching slags on chaturbate. That's how I'm spending my Sunday. Hopefully I'll pass out soon.

I had a good day yesterday after being in a bit of a fug on Friday. It was nice. Now I'm going to be at my house for six days (including today) before going somewhere on Saturday. Assuming something doesn't come up with my job (something like a substitute teacher but not that).

I think it'll be pretty nice. My mom is making bread. I get to work on my art or whatever I choose. Or just relax. Spend time with my dogs. I burnt myself out a bit with something and now I'm taking an actual break from it. Going back with renewed vigour.

>>13905616
not really

>>13905616
> one of my best friends is female
> funny as fuck, jokes about shit and asian superiority (she's a K A L M Y K), pleasant to smoke a fat hit of hash with
> says relationships are for dipshits and never seeked them
> volcel
> most other females i know, regardless if homo or hetero, are unbearable cunts especially if their "love" is present
it's relationships that ruin women.

>>13905731
>volcel female
yeah, shes waiting for Chad

>>13905737
burps drunkely in chads' faces almost daily, you westerners don't know how slavic culture can affect women for good

I hope I get one of you on jury duty. I'll have you in prison for the rest of your worthless life. You'll regret the day you treated me so.

I've long since taken the ultimate blackpill but like a cuck I still stay alive in this ugly, godforsaken world. At this point I'm only really living to keep my partner happy, because my partner doesn't deserve to be heartbroken by a suicide. I feel absolutely terrible about it, but there's really no other reason for me to live in this world. Thanks OP for starting this thread, I just need to get this off my chest.

>>13905494
>>13905539
Thank (You)

>>13905556
Are you being ironic ?

I just feel defeated by life. I've never had success in a single area and already have to settle without accomplishing any of my goals. I just don't care anymore. Living is too painful but I'm too cowardly to kill myself. I don't have anyone in my life that understands me or cares about me (in a way that matters). I'm not going to ever have kids, and I doubt I'll ever have an intimate relationship

>>13905731
>funny as fuck

I feel as if I'm something nice that spoiled. Like warm champagne, or cold soup. Like a tree without leaves, or a sport's car that's been impounded, or a treasure chest sunk into the depths of the sea. I don't know how to recover my niceness now that I've actively played a role in ruining it.

>>13906042
See, even mentioning her ability to entertain another is enough to make you guffaw.

>>13906042
for entertainment she reads the cringiest fanfiction about kpop aloud while i excercise somewhere in the forest park, can you say the same about your bro?

>>13905722
u really showed him

>>13905731
>K A L M Y K
I’m sorry, but what’s this?

>>13906474
inherently valuable yet unusable, unabusable. you've reached peak condition.

>>13906555
kalmyk, a nationality. looks like any other russian asian, buddhist though, not muslim ones

>>13906561
I didn't see it that way. Thank you, anon.

>>13906575
>>13906555
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVjHV47KYY
they got catchy rhythms

>>13906575
Ah! Above Dagestan. Right. Forgot the name. She sounds cool.

>>13906628
and superhuman drinks

>>13904772
>I'll never have reason
make a reason, faggot. or don't, and keep limply thinking about it

>>13905030
>I think I'll go take a walk and tell a girl that I love her.
How'd it go?
You awake now?

I literally can't get over being a manlet and having no father figure, like Jesus could it at least have been only one of those...

>>13905621
Nice one, anon. I mean that.
Here's a tip: never reveal those lingering insecurities of yours to others. Openness of that kind will not do you any good. Forget about them. Be who you want to be, not who you used to be, or used to think you were.

So much anxiety and angst. I fucking hate it. I get it even when im wathcing anime. fuck me

>>13906892
too late for that lol. its weird i read loads on how you should never tell girls deep shit about you and how that'll make them become unattracted to you. but ive noticed the opposite, my girlfriend says that she likes me even more now and that shes proud of me for going thru all the shit i did when i was a kid and how strong i am and whatever.
my theory is that if youre using /adv/ meme tactics to get a gf, you will only attract that type of girl who would leave you for your insecurities. and also when i tend to say stuff about my insecurities i always paint it as "look how ive changed" so that might be a factor but idk

Just experienced my first heartbreak. Hold me bros.

>>13906883
At least you're not balding bro

>>13907011
it's shit, but it'll pass.

I had mine 10 years ago, never loved since, not even liked. Pretty comfy, I never even think about her anymore.

that's the best advice i have, i know it's shit, but eh

I wish I could be less neurotic.

>>13906985
I wasn't necessarily talking about your gf, but yeah, either way, I'm glad it's working out for you.
You're probably right about the "tactics"

>>13907033
So many memories man. Every time i think of her i remember us sitting next each other in the bus holding hands while it poured outside, how happy she was when we tried that weird ice cream thing, how she made me laugh, how sweet she was. Feels like shit. I doubt I'll ever forget her.

I want a gf
Lets say I get one, i cant imagine the stress and anxiety from it.
I would spend every waking moment in my life to make sure she never finds out what a piece of trash person I am.
Maybe its better I never get one.

>>13907033
wise words. also block her on every social media and don't talk to her anymore for three months. can be hard, after this you will forget her. i passed trough this same shit two years ago and god how i wished i could have listened to this same advice, it would had saved me a lot of time! anyway, enjoy, it will be a ride!

>>13907086
I could get a nice girlfriend if I really wanted to. But I am absolutely terrified of any kind of emotional intimacy. What do I have to offer? I'm just a cowardly little boy deep down.

>>13904188
More time has passed since Pearl Harbor than passed between Gettysburg and Pearl Harbor.

>>13907171
Hmm, really makes me think.

>>13904972
Encore

>>13905969
I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say or how to help.
I hope it gets better for you, somehow in this abyss.

What’s been on my mind is the fact that every human civilization, since our species’ conscience being, has the overarching goal of easing the fact that you will die one day. There is literally not one other significant motive, all motives that seem like fundamental ones just trace back to the “you bouta die nigga” one.

>>13907291
well, when you do think about it, you bouta die nigga. it is what it is

>>13907204
Alexander Pope's Pastorals are older than The Canterbury Tales was when the Pastorals were published.

I like crossdressing. I enjoy being kind of girly and effeminate. But I've never had any illusions of being anything over than a boy, and I like having a penis. I just like being a girly-boy. What's the male equivalent of a 'tomboy'?

Will this get me lumped into certain groups? Probably. Am I alone in this? Who knows.

>>13907483
Autogynephilia
(You're not alone)

>>13907539
No, I don't think so. I've thought long and hard about this already.

I want to learn 6502 assembly and I want to start growing garlic, I have no hobbies and sometimes when I feel less sad I think about doing things like I am doing now but when I actually go and do them it's a bore and I give up. Also thinking about that time I didn't masturbate or use the internet for 6 weeks and then masturbated to a book killing eve (it was okay but it was the most excitement I got at the time as I have no other forms of entertainment)
>>13907483
I get this but I'm too shameful to actually do anything like crossdress. Also, trannyism is degenerate

>>13907573
Oh, okay. Cool

>Philosophical discussion can go on either /lit/ or /his/, but those discussions of philosophy that take place on /lit/ should be based around specific philosophical works to which posters can refer.
What a fucking joke. Is anyone actually moderating /lit/ anymore? If the mods actually did their jobs 90% of the threads in the catalog would either be moved to /his/ or deleted.

>>13907587
Is that what you would describe yourself as?

I don't know why still with him

I wrote in my journal today. Then I stepped in dog shit. I realized the dog had crafted something finer than I did, at least what he had set out to do could in no way have been more perfectly accomplished.

>>13907651
:(

whats on your mind

>>13907659
you're on my mind

>>13907615
I'm not sure. I definitely recognize it's an impulse in me, but I'm not sure if it's just gender dysphoria or not. I'm literally filling intake forms for a gender therapist right now so I guess I'll find out soon

sam hyde comitted rape, he raped me. It was the fall of 2012, we all thought that the world was going to end, so there was a lot of sad thughts flying around. The leaves were shedding down and and I had yard work to do, sam Hyde came out of nowhere, a giant of a man, 5'10, 300 pounds of pure american meat, crazy look in his eyes, huffing and puffing from a pile of leaves. Some leaves stuck to his sweaty forehead, I said "hi sam" but he didn't want to hear it, he just charged me, so remembering what I saw on nature TV, I picked up my rake and raised it over my head, and let out a wild grunt, that stopped him in his tracks. We were at a standst still, he said "you gonna be like that? okay, I can wait." and everytime I lowered the rake he started charging me again, so I had to keep it over my head, and when he stopped charging he'd just stand there vaping, talking about the weather, and cars. Eventually my arms tired and I had to let go. He had the souls of all those children he killed, he was so powerful. his meaty cock slid up p and down my mangina all the way up to my thorax, I spit his cum out of my mouth.

>>13907651
Oh, and it turns out it's worse than I thought initially, as it tends to be, my thoughtlessness being supreme. I realize that I in reality have destroyed his creation, so not only did I mock art with my scribblings, I dismantled the ode of another.

>>13907669
Good luck then, anon! I know that it's hard to sometimes figure these big questions out. Certainty took me a while.

It's common to fantasize about past times or fantastical worlds and imagine how much better it would be than life in the 21st century, but this of course ignores all the terrible things those environments would entail, like lack of any real medical science and facing starvation should the harvest be poor. The solution is therefore not to regress to a past time but to progress forward, building technology to the point where we can create idealized simulacra to live in. So basically westworld, but real.

>>13907688
I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said: “Two posts by a depressed anon
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a splattered sausage lies, whose brown,
And wrinkled tip, and smear of anal gland,
Tell that its sphincter well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these tasteless shoes,
The hand that mocked them, and the foot that tred;
And on the excrement, these words appear:
My name isOzymandias, Poo of Poos;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Turd, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stench far away.”

>>13908079
Very nice.

>>13904219
this woman looks like a eurasion version of tulsi gabbard with billie eilish xanax eyes

>>13904215
have sex

Why did you have to leave? My sister's new teacher is an elderly asian man. Why couldn't he have left and you stayed?

>>13904188
hey all normie here, Ask me anything

>>13908560
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee

Normies GTFO! Now!

University is starting tomorrow but I think I'll skip the welcoming week since I'll actually meet my studymates later in the week after that. Guess I'll have to hide out in the library and read some philosophy and rewatch some anime.

>>13908854
Start networking early, don't wait until it's too late. That's all college is good for.

>>13904188
I haven't spoked to a real human being in 2 weeks. I've been going on long walks. I'm not lonely... I live in a place past loneliness. My body is neither full or empty and my existence inhabits a weird headspace of self-reflection. As I am writing now I can hear a loud party happening in the distance with louds thuds of the base and all. One should be wondering about themselves in comparison to it; I am not. I sit here thinking about leaving this small town that I inhabit and lurking deeper into the woods. Perhaps I will harmoniously there, with the trees which stand solemnly only knowing themselves. The deep isolation will either lead me to climb the hill of ennui or drag me deeper into the pits of beingless.

>>13908854
drop out and learn to code, you're wasting your time

Ask a person their opinion on pedophilia and you'll see if they have a wooden or a golden soul

>>13909075
Ask me

I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple.

>>13909090
What is your opinion on pedophilia

>>13909143
She thinks it's fucked up and she only wants to do anything with a bearded 27 year old. :3

>>13909143
I hate them. They think they’re romantic but they’re empty monsters who only want to use their victims up. Preserving the innocence of children is very important to me.
What kind of soul is that?

>>13909166
I hate beardos. No peenor.

Someday i'll meet you and that moment when we meet will be burned in our memories. You'll have someone that understands and there is nothing better then to be understood and loved for what you are, what you stand against and what you've endured. I would feel honored to have met a beautiful and formidable soul such as yours.

>>13909178
>it’s impossible to be attracted to little girls, and to love them, and wait until they’re old enough (~16) for marriage
And that’s where you’re wrong, “butterfly”

>>13907483
Sometimes I wish I was a cute little girl who was trained to be a ruthless assassin.

>>13908920
Happy the man, whose wish and care
A few paternal acres bound,
Content to breathe his native air,
In his own ground.

Whose herds with milk, whose fields with bread,
Whose flocks supply him with attire,
Whose trees in summer yield him shade,
In winter fire.

Blest, who can unconcernedly find
Hours, days, and years slide soft away,
In health of body, peace of mind,
Quiet by day,

Sound sleep by night; study and ease,
Together mixed; sweet recreation;
And innocence, which most does please,
With meditation.

Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.

Ode on Solitude
Alexander Pope

>>13909207
I’ve heard a lot of stories. Those that will wait and those that say “too old” as soon as puberty hits. Don’t play coy with me.

If I thought that I had pedo tendencies I would completely deny myself. This is simply not the universe for that kind of star-crossed love.

Better than to see your child love and kiss her on the day of her marriage, is to see her having conquered the professional world and/or become a warm and fruitful mother in her 30's.

One should not ask pleasure or companionship from someone not in a position to fulfill the equal reciprocity of a marriage.

But I - do - feel sorry for people who struggle with their attraction to children. They are under spiritual attack by some very dark forces and have been made slaves to an evil injustice.

That's all I'll say, though. Protecting children obviously takes precedence over catering to the self-pity and self-romanticizing of adults who should be proactive about purifying their hearts.

>>13905569
No it's not. It's very romantic and everyone can relate to it.

Everyone in the world who hears the WIdmung transcription, Consolation 3, Sospiro, and so on gets to hold a precious moment of love in a musical haven they can revisit again and again.

It's not intellectually challenging music but it does provide a break from the weariness of the thinker.

>>13909215
That's a boy, though.

>>13909244
You’re generalizing. Not all pedophiles are driven by lust and rape fantasies and exclusively attracted to pre-pubescents. Would it be fair to label all male homosexuals as cheating man-whores who care more about sex than love?

>>13909270
>become a warm and fruitful mother in her 30's.
>30’s

>>13909279
fuck yes, with the way this world is

children need wise mothers

>>13909230
either that or sliding into a countrified stupor, a literal sheep-fucker addicted to fentanyl and crystal meth and caught in a community where absolutely no one has the force of character to break a cycle of human wreckage

>>13909314
So you admit that the problem lies with modern society and not the individual. We’re conditioned to believe that relationships should be equal in age, when men find teens most attractive, and women find older men most attractive. This spell is certainly a combination of feminism and capitalism, pushing women into the work force so capital can grow, and so women can be like men. The excessive promiscuity of people these days only makes the problem worse, as married couples have trouble bonding due to their many previous lovers. We

>>13909387
>. We
live in a society?

I can't bring myself to continue writing this. It's like I have ideas on what I want to write further down the line, but first I have to finish the part I'm currently on which isn't very fun so that I can get to writing the part that's actually fun. It's an abstract kind of hell.

>>13909178
Wooden soul

It makes me really sad that I, or anybody else, will never, ever see a dinosaur.

>>13909943
I like to think of crocs and their kind as the last dinosaurs

i am going to turn over a new leaf. Tomorrow.

I never been able to hear the voice of my heart.

>>13910074
You can listen to mine, if you like.

>>13910061
better not sleep in

>>13909994
You mean birds, right?

Crocodoes are closer to humans than they are to dinosaurs.

>>13910128
I don't give a shit, I said I like to think of them that way. They look like they could be dinosaurs, and they give me a dinosaur vibe. Can't say the same for birds, although birds can have pretty evil looking reptile eyes

>>13905481
Just tell them it's your first time and that you'll have to figure some things out as you go

You might question this or that believe that you or someone else holds dear, thinking it untrue and false; but it can be supposed that for every believe that there is, there is also a corresponding worldview and logical explanation that makes the believe in question coherent (which is all that can be expected of a functioning believe nowadays). Of course, oftentimes we do not know the particular explanation that would make us think "So this, too, is a legitimate way of doing things", but we can suppose that there is such an explanation. Who dares to say that there is not and will never be a mind strong enough to explain a believe in such a way that it becomes reasonable to think it is true? You can believe anything, bro, because someone could give you good reasons to believe anything.

>>13905182
>>13905549
Cool! Thank you both very much immensely, anons!

>>13910277
belief

>>13910113
What does it say?

>>13904188
in the USSR, some remote bumfuck-nowhere settlements served as exile point for criminals, often exiled here for life. imagine how locals who just naturally lived there felt

>>13910302

>>13910306
Doki doki, doki doki.

>>13910351
Hmm, this says a lot about our (Russian) society.

>>13910351
Do you mean gulag camps or mass deportation ones?

>>13910351
>>13910390
Never happened, fake news.

>>13910396
But gulags and mass deportation did happen under Stain regime

Where do I find high level intellectuals? People that understand the significance of the principle of charitable interpretation and know to value pragmatics over semantics, while preferably also being familiar with the internet's cultures. I've tried mensa, philosophy professors, people with double phds from upper management at my company, random people online that felt like they had that Hessian mark, but in the end they all tune out once I bring up things like self-reinforced delusions of nonsecurity due to insecurity, absolute nihilism being impossible on account of absolute understanding of anything being impossible (even some of the smartest people I've met thought "understanding something or not" was a black or white issue at first), or even just a piece of a type of media they've been conditioned into thinking couldn't be worthwhile.
I just want to talk to somebody that doesn't mention stuff like "the struggle of being smart", "is the persona we are at our most private really our truest? arent we ourselves who we want to deceive most?" and "what if we just... stopped chasing joy?" like it's a novel topic and then stumble through it clumsily. Like I don't mind, I don't think everyone should care about meta reflection just because I happen to. If everybody on the planet thought my topics of interest were dumb then it'd be whatever. But surely there are people out there that do fit my image of a both inspiring and inspirable person.
I was around for early-ish SSC but everyone took themselves so seriously there, not really what I'm thinking of.

>>13910407
Have you tried Grindr?

>>13910407
>Hessian mark
Ugh

>>13909943
I was born after the Age of Discovery and I'll be dead before we start our voyage to the stars

>>13910390
>>13910396
You retards never heard of exile as a punishment? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_settlements_in_the_Soviet_Union some were sent to completely uninhabited land, others exiled to existing remote settlements.

>>13910424
born just in time to have drugs delivered to your doorstep :)

>>13910427
My grandpa almost got "relocated"

>>13910424
I was born just in time to discover you.

All these years of self- improvement have made me a chad in public. At work, I mog all my male co-workers without trying. People are so pathetic these days. Each year they become more fat and useless. I see them privately seething when my dominate displays make the women wet for me. If they were to come up to me and ask for advice, I would tell them everything. They wouldn't though. They would rather live in pity and anger. All of them are close to being left with the scrap women that have resorted to filling their vaginas and stomachs with cheap nutrition. People will openly tell me how pathetic they are while laughing it off as a joke. The secrets of their failure released to me with simple small talk. All this attention does to me is make me feel even more powerful. Knowing this, I am still working on myself and have a loving gf whom lost her virginity to me as did I to her. These evil thoughts plague me but I push onward knowing they only breed temporary satisfaction. I hope other anons show the same caution.

>>13910424
we're living in the age of reflection.

How does belief translate into action? What is resolve? How is it at different points in life I haved displayed life changing strength and at other times self destructive weakness?

To accomplish anything, one has to first believe you can do it. But the belief is not enough. Action must flow from the belief. Mindful action is belief embodied. The flow of action can either be a productive sequence or a counterproductive cycle. Still, cycles are the most challenging patterns to break. They are self-supporting, while a sequence has nothing to stand on besides willpower. And what is willpower? It's as much of a mystery as resolve. It's as murky as the power of choice. Do we really choose, or does our environment and inner disposition secretly determine our course of action?

I need change. I need it as much as I need water or air. And yet it eludes me, drowned out by the noise of daily life, lost in the sway of inexorable habit. It can't go on like this. I must shatter what I am and rebuild the fragments.

>>13910422
I was thinking of just going with "that 'spark'" but Hessian mark seemed accurate enough. He was all about self-awareness, which I respect
Try not to curl up and mentally shut down whenever you see a meme

>>13910464
>These evil thoughts plague me but I push onward knowing they only breed temporary satisfaction.
gonna make it

>>13904215
Such the hard condition of my birth

I woke up this morning sleepily, and dragged myself to work. But this morning, for some reason, my mind was racing like it used to. Thoughts entered my head, and I was conscious of them. I feel as though today is the first day in a long while that I’ve felt focused, and don’t know whether to chalk it up to not having masturbated the night before, having slept less time than usual but finally having had a dream, or maybe swallowing my toothpaste accidentally. I used to do that intentionally as a kid because I liked the taste, but I used to be smart as a kid, so maybe the extra fluoride did me some good.

I keep getting attacked by incubi and succubi while i'm TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP.

I love Hegel.

>>13909272
No. I gave two examples there. You are literally generalizing.
>Not all pedophiles
Stop making excuses

>>13909890
There’s no such thing.

>>13910386
literature club?

>>13910676
this is correct. the soul is actually a fluid.

I want to kill myself.
I tell myself I don't do it because of my two wonderful kids and loving wife.
Truth is I'm a coward.

>think it's first day of classes today
>turns out it's wednesday

>>13910714
you'll stop being a coward the moment you kill yourself

>>13910464
What advice do you have?

>>13910714
> so cucked by others he's afraid of killing himself because people will be sad

>>13910496
>How does belief translate into action?
There is no belief without action. Your actions reflect your deepest beliefs - action, or lack thereof, is how belief is manifested.
"faith without works is dead"

>>13910705
nah, it's a gas.
*farts soulfully in your general direction*

>>13910714
it's not cowardice, it's selfishness. you want to control how the people around you feel, force them to be happy, by struggling against the inevitability of your death, you are succumbing to hubris. I'd say you're doing the right thing though, be a little more selfish, even. You might finally start enjoying your life. Use some of your time for yourself. Sacrifice a little less. Why not, you're teetering on chaos as it is, may as well try to repair yourself. Really dude, just be a little more selfish. Don't let Kronos bully you. Wrest yourself from your responsibilities, and live a life that isn't a lie.
Who knows. I'm saying contradicting things anyway. Who knows. If you want to kill yourself, don't bother. You'll be dead before you know it anyway. Such a blink we have, man.

Psychology // MBTI //Typology
Community!

>https://discord.gg/YV6J8va

>>13910464
nah, you're brad

>>13904219
>If only I had as much love for God as I did for her, then I would not be so torn right now

feels

>>13910676
That's just what a person with a wooden soul would say ;)

I went out drinking with my friend on the weekend, we have been friends for 14 years now. It's always melancholic with him, I guess it can't not be since being around him makes me remember my childhood. It feels so long ago now.

It's interesting to see how different our lives are, even though we are the same people inside. We drank, some people joined us, we chatted, danced and laughed. The evening came to an end and he visited my place, I made him coffee in my garden and he walked back. I took him half way in my slippers even though it was raining, he told me he didn't remember walking back. It was his birthday.

We have both graduated university later than most, he has a job in London which is well paying, he has a future ahead of him, he is deeply unhappy.

Going to go on nofap for a week or more. Going to nut to my imagination when i come.

going to break this porn addiction

Do you ever masturbate to the point where you feel like you no longer have a soul?
I do.

>>13910996
I was gonna start on Friday since by Christmas it would have been 90 days, but I fucked up so I'm starting tomorrow. I'm going to do October and see where it goes from there. Let's do it.

>>13911024
the soul ebbs out with cum, and regenerates along with it

>>13910996
>>13911039
>tfw unironically started nofap because the stare of the coomer haunted me

>>13911057
blessed be coomer memes

>>13911052
Your Qi is not your soul.

>>13911057
good luck! Remember to visit the NoFap site if you need tips and advice on abstinence.

>>13911024
I do, and pretend it galvanizes me for the harsh day ahead, but in a more general sense, I’m just a lonely person who can’t feel or cope with anything anymore.

>>13911079
Don't need a site, any time I feel even slightly tempted I recall the vacuous abyss of the Coomer's eyes and immediately correct my course.

>>13911080
>it galvanizes me for the harsh day ahead
I also feel this sometimes, maybe it's a bit of a "benefit", but then my legs start feeling weak and it makes things harder.
I hope you find someone who cares for you soon.

>>13911057
noporn is better than nofap

>>13907078
.>>13907098
I'm feeling that right now... It's been like six months and it still hurts. I'm becoming so bitter. Didn't block her either. I can't get out

I wanna have sex with a girl as she whispers into my ear all kinds of cute stuff

>>13911242
It's hard to beat that feeling friend.

>>13911242
>sex
yuck

>>13911242

>>13910772
Lift, moisturize skin, fix posture, dress according to body type, don't touch your face or wash it with any soap that isn't specific to your face, don't lay on your face or any position that isn't your back, brush your teeth and floss daily, mew for better jaw posture, get a decent haircut that fits your head shape, trim nails, shave your face, chew gum, cook your own meals, smile at women, don't pursue women that are not interested(they will give you a look), being attractive is more important than personality for attracting women.

>>13910890
You're a fag.

There was a piece of music called Tribute to the Day of Death. I think it was by Jacqueline du Pré.
It has vanished off YouTube and I can't find anything at all by googling. Seems like it might as well have poofed out of existence. I hate when this happens. Why the fuck is this allowed

>>13911247
Maybe, well i dont know that feeling so
>>13911251
??? have you surpassed us
>>13911260
iktf

God i wanna have sex with a female doctor with bangs. I want her to dominate me while i cry because im such a faggot

>>13911173
You need to block her, anon. I know it's hard, but is the right thing to do. You never stop thinking about her if you keep looking at ther activity online, talking to her etc. Also, get a new hobby, something to distract your mind.

>>13911880
Lol yah I just took your advice an hour or so ago. All I have left is Insta so just one and done. It's necessary since she still has a picture of us - I remember her saying "I don't understand people who get rid of pictures of their ex's" (which is strange since she has been through shitty breakup's too).

Going back to school thank god so I hope that helps. It just sucks because we have a massive amount of mutual friends. Anyways, thanks for the support anon. This has been immensely harder on me than it realistically should be.

>>13904188
I wanna RAAAAVE duh duh duh duh kabwooosh

>>13910996
gonna make it
stay strong king, your willpower would only harden under pressure

>>13912050
check this track
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAn4REAijYU

What hell was he trying to find in Syria, an answer to his parents divorce, some bigger answer?
Of course his parents were not that religious, that empty space left by Christianity was basically begging to be converted by a more radical belief,

Killed in a drone strike. Good riddance.
Fucking traitors. All of them.

>>13912017
You're welcome, anon :} I know it's hard but you gotta remember that time heals everything.

>>13912528
True my friend. Hitting the gym and reading the bible is helping

I'm so fucking neurotic. Holy shit. Can't figure out if I'm attracted to women or just want to be them. This is really stressing me out

>>13912230
sweet

>>13912905
Best bet is to just be a skinny androgyne man.

Really look at trans women, and not just in the selected flattering angles they present.
They do not look as good as the fantasy woman version of yourself is, and you wouldn't look like your fantasy either.

Become androgynous softboi and date a cute girl.
Best of both worlds

>>13904188

Last semester of community college.

Bored as hell.

Don't know where to transfer.

Recently found out that I'm lactose intolerant (or semi; can only eat heavy cream and butter in small amounts; everything else is a no-no)

Mom's not sure about moving to the city or she hasn't found a 3-bedroom yet.

Lonely as hell.

21 years old.

>>13913340

Found some good authors:

Ernesto Sabato
Yasunari Kawabata
Paul Valery
Victor Hugo
Rainer Maria Rilke

Genre:

Stanislaw Lem
Clark Ashton Smith
Jack Vance

Philosophers:

Gottlob Frege
Martin Heidegger
Immanuel Kant

Theologians:

Karl Rahner

>>13909178
Sorry, I went to bed. But baby, you need a peenor :3

My beard looks nice and trim, not wild and unkempt.

If you can do your job as if it means more than money you'll be much more content in life. Jobs are a strange socioeconomic phenomenon in that respect. There is only so much people are willing to volunteer for, and non-voluntary tasks must either be coerced or compensated.

Still when you really get involved in your work, the money becomes a background consideration. You start doing it for other reasons, because you want to do a good job and prove your competence, because you like your coworkers, because you believe in the company mission, any number of reasons. It's much better this way and it's a shame so many only care about jobs for the money. But that can because the job is bad, or because the person does not have greater motives.

>>13913340
I wonder how many guys like us are on /lit/. I am similar. Don't know about you, but knowing I can always come back here helps. I can be adrift in certain things but at least I have this little place.

>>13913328
We'll see if I can pull this off. I really would like to be more androgynous but I'm such a hon. I have my dad's barrel chest. Maybe I'll try boymoding or something

>>13913527
Being barrel-chested is one of God's cruelest jokes.

>>13913570
>Barrel chest
>Born in a literal cult
>Have both OCD and autogynephilia
I can't even imagine the degenerate shit I was up to in a past life to deserve this

>>13913592
Mind me asking, which cult?

>>13913649
It's a small one in the Midwest only 500 members. All of my family is in it. Basically Pentecostal with a bit of hypercalvinism thrown in. Total personality cult too. The pastor used to have twelve hours meetings where he would publicly humiliate and psychoanalyse whoever left before he was finished. He unironically had narcissistic personality disorder and purged any resistance to him thirty years before I was born. Had a lot of gender issues from it too because you couldn't really even be a "real man", independent and self sufficient, while he was around. I've written about it a lot in previous threads

>>13913688
Rough. Sounds pretty awful, anon. I hope that you've gotten out of that place.
>I've written about it a lot in previous threads
Are you this
>>13907669
anon?

>>13913746
Oh, yeah. I shit my thoughts out in these threads constantly

Uptick on the boomclock. Downturn onwards fellow /lit/izens. I am bored and because of sleep apnea and pills I sleep all day long. I save my one cup of coffee for 7:30 meds, so I can stay up and not read. Reading and concentration is hard when you're on anti-psychotic medication. Zippidy doo da, going to Florida for 20 days on Friday. Is there any atheist that believes we won't have entropy and downwards gloominess like Christopher Hitchens did? Maybe I should read some new wave /x/ tier garbage.

There's nothing criminal on killing, from my own perspective, If I kill, it's because I just hold on my own moral code. Why should I cling to social moral instead of clinging to what my body desires and craves? My will to power, my morality.

>>13904215
Hardy's "Jude the Obscure" is about exactly this and also involves a crushing desire to be with his own cousin. I don't know if it'll help but it's a good book

>buy used book
>words and phrases underlined or circled seemingly at random
>margins filled with big-brain commentary like "wow!" or "interesting!"

>>13914024
Go to bed Raskolnikov

>>13914050
I have a used copy of war and peace that i flipped through and saw was heavily annotated. can't wait to read it.

>>13914050
>first ten pages are heavily annotated
>rest of the book is blank

>>13914141
You have to do your own annotations, anon. And then it's time for your to resell the book, the next person who owns it can do theirs, and so on.

>>13913404

Dunno. But what do you mean "like us?"

I'm almost on my third month of HRT, which is when some of the changes start to become irreversible. I feel like this is when I can finally consider the person I was before to be dead.

>>13914524
This whole website is egg central

are there any books with hot dragons

i used to want to marry the girl i played 'cello with in 3rd grade orchestra

then for many years i was in love with a chinese girl who wanted to become a writer

now i can barely imagine being in love with anyone except my mom and/or a south korean pop-superstar

HOW CAN IT BE ALMOST FUCKING MIDNIGHT ALL FUCKING READY? I DO NOT FEEL AS IF IT IS TIME TO SLIP OFF INTO LALA LAND. I PERFER TO STAY AWAKE AND FALL ASLEEP WHENEVER I GET TIRED.

MORE TO THE POINT, HOW CAN IT ALREADY HAVE TRANSPIRED THAT A GIVEN NUMBER OF HOURS HAS ALREADY PASSED. IT DOES NOT FEEL AS IF THAT MUCH TIME HAS GONE BY, AND I WOULD RATHER IT BE EARLY.

WHY SHOULD IT BE THAT I MUST REGIMENT MYSELF TO THE SLEEP SCHEDULES OF CIVILIZATION AND BE SYNCHRONIZED LIKE AN ANT.

NOT TO FAULT PEOPLE WHO FIND THIS EASY BUT MAYBE THERE IS SOME KIND OF EVOLUTIONARY REASON FOR THE NIGHT WATCHERS. LIKE SOMEONE NEEDED TO EVOLVE TO STAY AWAKE TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR SABER TOOTH TIGERS.

>>13914524
You will never pass. Disgusting freak.

>>13914598
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsKxP_4byAk

>>13914602
Wow, I don't think she's ever heard that before. Do you have any more thoughts you want to share?

>>13904193
Don't believe everything you read

>>13905616
Anon is a genderless name :-)

I am pursuing a career in engineering, although my main interests are drawing and writing. I've considered possibly backing out and choosing a different career path, but I wouldn't be satisfied with myself if I did- maybe I can become a novelist or a painter on the side, I can't imagine myself becoming a great and influential artist at any rate. Every time I draw, I can clearly see where I'm deficient- it's hard to believe I've spent so many years of my life drawing thinking that it was just a hobby, but no, I want it to be something more than a hobby, just a casual little jaunt- I wanted to be *excellent*, but unfortunately I feel like I've been rotting in the same pool of mediocrity for a few years. My friends tell me that I improve every year, but of course they're going to pay lip service to me. I can at least see flaws in everything I've drawn in the last year; that's enough proof that my eyes have at least sharpened up, but will my hands follow? I know I can do better than this, if I just sat down and went at it with a pen for a few hours. But there's no longer any time for that.

>>13914024
based

My job is npt very good but at least I make money now. That is something.

>>13914695
>she
How dare you assume their gender, you evil person? I hope you get what's coming to you

Whose birthday today?

>>13915866
Your dad

Being good is bullocks; acting good, however, is beneficial - albeit only if observed by a third party's pair of eyes - in some cases this third party can be the actor himself. The latter is the case when acting bad lies heavy on one's liver and produces a certain painful feeling behind the forehead. If, on the other hand, bad deeds harmlessly pass through the mind like a drunkards fist through thin glass, one might aswell in his loneliness do as one pleases. The third party is called society at large and he who wants to climb that golden ladder can grow himself a pair of wings - through good deeds well observed. There is a time and a place for goodness and badness - time's name is profit.

I seriously hate Muslims. They are without exception, nasty subhuman barbarians

This is peak pseud I know but the design of modern books annoys me because it makes it impossible to create an aesthetic bookshelf.

>>13904188
wheres londonfrogs blog today?

>>13905481
Realize that the institutional position you occupy is backing you up well enough

>>13917095
he's probably stuffing a fucking burger into his mouth as we speak

>>13904193
I'm so sorry

I can't stop thinking about Tibet for some reason

>>13904283
tranny?

>>13904188
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

>>13904215
Being a pseud is the cope. There's no way out :(

>>13904219
are you the one with the 9 year old?

>>13904262
i have no friends ;-;

>>13917342
yeah

Will I never not be insufferable to everyone? I feel I am as loathsome to others as I am to myself, the only thing I tend to agree with others on. If I could only intimate to them how much I do agree, how well we could get along, hating me together, how pleasant it would be, to assist them in their tearing me to shreds, it's not even masochism, i wouldn't take pleasure in it, i deserve it, I would understand its righteousness, accept its taking place, wish my thoughts were open so people would tear me apart, wish could see my eyes as they really are. as i are. cut me to shreds cut

>>13917349
You should try going for the girls showing interest in you. It would be good for you, and your 9 year old fever dream isn't going to judge you for dating. Although, not sure if girls are going to want to date you if they find out about your child bride

>>13910910
he's in love with a nine year old

>>13917368
I don’t see the point in messing around with girls unless it seems likely that I’ll marry them. I’m not interested in any type of sexual activities, so pursuing girls at my age is pointless, as we would awkwardly be “together” for years until we could marry. Whatever the future, I’ll be waiting for a while until I marry/have sex. I’m almost determined to be completely chaste, especially if I cannot be with her. But I would rather be with her if I can

>>13905088
you should post snippets of your novel here. I want to read it :)

>>13905170
get the degree anon. You can't be too old

>>13917352
just try to be a good human being every day - that is enough

>>13905288
>Forced organ harvesting from prisoners of conscience, including the religious minorities of Falun Gong and Uighurs, has been committed for years throughout China on a significant scale
>They were "cut open while still alive for their kidneys, livers, hearts, lungs, cornea and skin to be removed and turned into commodities for sale."
man fuck this

I spend all day imagining all kinds of stories, characters, worlds, and concepts, but I can't really talk to anyone about them because nobody would understand what I'm talking about. Even people online who are actually interested in those things never seem interested in discussing them. I don't know if it's just me, as in I've spent so much time in introspection that my ideas are completely incomprehensible to anyone but myself, or if I just haven't found the right place to talk about them.

>>13905088
Good luck to you anon! I like the premise.

>>13906985
>if youre using /adv/ meme tactics to get a gf, you will only attract that type of girl who would leave you for your insecurities
Well said. Opening up to someone and inviting them to better empathize with you is a good thing. Lots of girls find that attractive.

God i wanna lay in bed with a girl with short bangs behind me jerking me off while she tells me im worthless and ill never amount to anything.

this is not all there can be. it can be so much better, I promise.
it may just be luck, but when it comes, you will wonder what made you so dreadful for so long

>>13909943
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMmgnpcaKyM

>>13905616
not true. Also, the child like feminine properties in certain women is a virtue, not a flaw.

I thought Nofap was a meme but I've made more personal progress during one month of nofap than in the previous half of the year. I'm also well on my way to get my first girlfriend, I feel much more in control and more motivated than ever. I seriously recommend it to anyone lacking structure and initiative in their lives. Your sex drive will overcome your lack of motivation, it's way more powerful than I previously thought. You can't nofap in a vacuum and expect serious results, though.

I went over to a girl's flat and had lunch with her. It was completely innocent but it was just me and her. And as I was saying goodbye, her boyfriend walked in and I felt so bad. I know that I was just a friend thing, but I imagine being him and coming back to my gf in pajamas hugging a guy I barely know goodbye, and it feels devastating. What should I feel guys, am I overthinking or did I do something wrong?

>>13917673
I want to have an asexual romantic relationship with a qt girl where we just live together and hold hands and cook meals for each other and stuff. But I know I'm not asexual, just repressed and insecure and also I don't trust most "asexual" girls I've encountered. Maybe I should convince my mind to accept a qt bf instead.

>>13917719
I know what you mean mate, we do want sex, but after being virgins for so long we got so self-conscious about it that we think we may as well live the rest of our lives this way. it's less bother anyway

Thanks to some odd mechanism people find me and my company pleasant, and care for me. The tragedy is that I do not deserve their care and struggle daily to do simple things, and yet I feel like I find new people every day encouraging me. Nothing is more painful than seeing someone you barely know believe in your ability to improve. Depression is a real bitch.

I had a bad dream last night

My wife asked me how to make
the growing darkness sitting
in the corner of the room
to go away; to escape
those faces in the corner
of her eyes that get closer
when you look the other way
but I didn't know
just don't think of them
that's all I could say.

>>13917959
I hope that you will find meaning one day.
>>13917754
>>13917719
get on the iron pill boys, I was in your place two years ago and now I'm blooming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhJZozaQ_38
This channel greatly helped me in life

Nietzschean Übermensch in Goethe's Faust:

(He strikes the book indignantly, and catches sight of the Symbol of the Earth-Spirit.)

Faust:
How differently it works on me, this Sign!
You, the Spirit of Earth, are nearer:
Already, I feel my power is greater,
Already, I glow, as with fresh wine.
I feel the courage to engage the world,
Into the pain and joy of Earth be hurled,
And though the storm wind is unfurled,
Fearless, in the shipwreck’s teeth, be whirled.

(...)

Spirit:
What wretched terror
Grips you, the Superhuman! Where is your soul’s calling?
Where is the heart that made a world inside, enthralling:
Carried it, nourished it, swollen with joy, so tremulous,
That you too might be a Spirit, one of us?

My recommendation to anons feeling romantic troubles, try to separate loneliness and guilt for being alone. There is a lot of societal pressure on people to be in relationships and to be sexually active, but that lifestyle is not for everyone. Also try to develop realistic expectations of love if you discover you truly do want a relationship. It will never be perfect, so accept the faults and let it grow organically. Take care of yourselves, please.

The fear of not living up to my potential and the fear of leaving my safe life eat at me constantly.

>>13918184
>iron pill
I just googled this and it just seems like basic self improvement shit mixed with fascism