/lit/ - Literature

Why did I fall in love with the same sex?
I could never find an answer to that question.
Just as a carnivore cannot help but feed on the weak, I too cannot help but yearn for other women.
The choice to love a man never existed from the start. To love the weakest, most delicate girl among the herd was the only way I knew how to live.
I never needed a reason or explanation for it. I was simply attracted to women for as long as I can recall.
When did I start to realize that?
I can’t remember when I first noticed it.
It’s nothing but an instinct. I had a crush on my kindergarten teacher. I could not stop thinking about the idols I would watch on TV.
I love women. Nothing more, nothing less.
And yet, it seems the rest of the world would not approve of this.
No, I don’t even need their approval.
I would be perfectly fine with being left alone and ignored.
But society isn’t tolerant enough to allow me even that.
It makes me uncomfortable whenever I get asked “why”,
As if I needed a reason to love women in the first place.
And yet, they continue to ask:
“Why?”
You are all fools. You all think that just because you all happen to be attracted to the opposite sex, just because you all happen to be the majority, everyone must be held to the same standard.
You are all fools lacking imagination, lacking the basic capacity to think for yourselves. You all think yourselves to be correct just because you were born that way.
Disgusting.
And when a man would ask me “why?”, all my hairs would stand on end.
If they could just imagine it, even for one moment, they’d understand.
They would understand that the stench they emanate makes me shiver. That their vulgar hands appear like they were carved out of mud and dirt. That their ugly bodies look like they’re wrapped in pubic hair.
Imagine it. Imagine being assaulted by a body like that.
I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
That’s how it feels to be held by a man.