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/lit/ - Literature


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File: 73 KB, 741x568, 1562175969660.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13666463 No.13666463 [Reply] [Original]

Why isn't there a guide book on life?
Like for all aspects of life, how to get a job, how to get gf, how to deal with social interactions, etc.
This game sucks

>> No.13666472

These exist, they’re called parents

>> No.13666547

It's called the Holy Bible, heathen.

>> No.13666550

>>13666472
What if your parents are absolutely ignorant and retarded and can't help you in any way?

>> No.13666555

>>13666547
Yeah i have read it, but it doesn't say how should i get a job or a gf.
Unfortunately we don't have a farm land and can't have sex slaves.

>> No.13667044

>>13666463
You can find a book dedicated to each of those topics tho...

>> No.13667050

>>13666463
It would be counterintuitive, women would work to avoid guide readers just to be a bitch.

>> No.13667061
File: 270 KB, 900x900, c4yd-square-orig.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13667061

>> No.13667128

There's a few issues with this:
1. In order for such a book to be written, we'd have to assume it'd be possible for one person to be an expert on all those topics, and that they would be able to overcome their personal biases regarding life experiences they have had, so as to be able to come up with an ideal way of living.
2. It would have to be written in such a way that people in a variety of different situations, surrounded by a variety of other people, would know what to do, instead of merely attempting to replicate some kind of procedure that might've worked in one person's ultra-specific life circumstances.

>> No.13667139

>>13666463
"12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson

>> No.13667179

>>13666463
https://github.com/bibanon/bibanon/wiki/The-Return-of-the-Well-Cultured-Anonymous

>> No.13667184

>>13666547
this but not a protestant one

>> No.13667185

>>13666555
>how should i get a job
Apply for them
>or a gf
Have a few close male friends that go outside and to clubs and other social events
go with them
be cordial and friendly with the women you eventually encounter without expecting sex

enjoy

>> No.13667193

>>13667185
oh, also don't be the ugliest or most handsome guy in the friend group

>> No.13667194

>>13666463
Young Man’s Guide
Father Lasance

>> No.13667212

>>13667185
I've tried this for years and it hasn't worked.

>> No.13667216

>>13667194
What would a priest know about having autism and looking for a job or friends?

>> No.13667236

>>13667212
with both? What usually goes wrong?

Also, we can talk about this in-depth if you want on discord:
pretty good#8375

>> No.13667237

>>13667216
>what would a priest know about having autism
Everything
>job or friends
Seek a honest, hardworking state in life and turn to the Christ, the Logos, your best friend

>> No.13667248

>>13667237
I fail to see how this translates to effective procedural knowledge.

>> No.13667251

>>13667185
that is some boomer tier mentality anon
>just shake hand with the employer and you will get the job
>lol just be friendly with women and don't expect sex

>> No.13667257

>>13667050
Employers would probably do the same, they are such souless faggots it's insane

>> No.13667273

>>13667251
works for me

>> No.13667274

>>13667128
1. it can be written together by multiple people, like some sort of enciclopedie
2. they should offer different possible scenarios and in particular the worst cases possible

>> No.13667277

it has been my experience that the path of serving others is the only path, and that - whether willingly or unwillingly - everyone ends up walking it, knowingly or not. but i know nothing, so be wary of my input

>> No.13667287

>>13667248
The afore mentioned prayer book introduces you to some very procedural prayer methods. Petition so that the Lord illumines your intellect.
incels will respond: “have sex”
You will respond:

“contemplate.”

>> No.13667300
File: 24 KB, 592x329, 18HANNIBAL3-tmagArticle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13667300

>>13666547
>>13666463
Its called beyond good and evil

>> No.13667304

>>13667185
>Apply for them
They almost never reply, the few job interview i went to were basically scams.
>Have a few close male friends
How does one even make friends?

>> No.13667306
File: 8 KB, 251x201, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13667306

>>13666463
When I was younger I entertained the idea of a Wiki for the socially retarded.

I used to be so afraid of leaving the house I couldn't go and buy a coke without my heart rate doing triple what it should be. Even something as simple as buying a bus ticket would make me lose my shit. In the end I decided it'd be too niche, too expansive and most importantly I just didn't give a fuck about anyone else enough to start it. Life is like a type of game you absolutely hate so much you'd rather play nothing. Fuck sports games.

>> No.13667336

>>13667304
>They almost never reply
who cares man, keep applying
sendme your CV / res also if you want a free critique
>How does one even make friends?
ah, this is more tricky. Working helps, but you don't have any childhood friends that you keep up with?
Making friends is difficult for sure, but you generally want to relax and probe for common ground if your gut tells you that they're a relatable person. If not, talk about a netflix show. Or sports.
But basically the rule is that the more good conversations you have with someone, the closer they become. Works for men and women. Ironically I view being close to good men as key to being close to women though.

>> No.13667356

>>13667304
Go to a place like Amazon. There's no interview, you just send a C.V., do an induction and they start training you to do the job and pay you while you're being trained. Dozens of people leave and join every 6 months, they take anyone as long as you show up.

>> No.13667365

>>13667336
Basically, after high shool i lived for a bit as a neet and then worked illegaly in construction, the few friends that i had from school moved on with their life and we slowly lost contact.
Now i'm in the situation where my resume is empty, i can't put the illegal job experiences that i had in it, so it looks like i have lived as an absolute neet for years, this is probably one of the reasons why i can't get a job even as a burger flipper.
>probe for common ground
It's difficult, because i don't have the normal experiences other people had at my age, i also don't follow sports/tv/news, my only interests are lit and anime but both are things that i can't talk about with most people irl.

>> No.13667464
File: 196 KB, 794x1123, CV1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13667464

>>13667365
>i can't put the illegal job experiences that i had in it
Sure you can, you can put whatever you like on your resume. Just don't say it was illegal. Just make it look like you've worked in the past. Notice the lack of defined dates on this example resume. Volunteer work is also great to have.

>my only interests are lit and anime
there are actually a shitload of women in particular that like both. Nerdier will also watch anime quite often too. On the Netflix thing, it's about as simple as keeping up with whatever show's popular in the moment. Besides interests like that though, you can talk about family and the like, but that's a little harder.

>> No.13667482

>>13667212
How to get a gf the guide
Go up to a group of people in which there is an attractive girl that you would like to fuck, take the attention of the group by saying something retarded, keep saying retarded shit that makes everyboyd laugh and puts you at the center of attention, say that the attractive girl smells like shit as soon as she tries to reply cut her of by saying some other retarded shit to the group, now she is wet and wants you to cum inside her, ask the group if you can talk to the girl in private, jokingly touch her her and ask if it is real, ask her if she wants to kiss you, if she does then do it, if she doesn't then tell her that it is better that way cause her breath smells like shit anyway, finally ask her her number and tell her to fuck off. Call her the next day and tell her that you will be at X location and she should come to. This is how you will get a date, after that you just talk about random life shit and then ask her to see your cat at your house.

>> No.13667492

>>13666472
WHAT IF MY DAD LITERALLY LOVED ME

>> No.13667529
File: 289 KB, 1880x912, 1565423733371.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13667529

>>13667212
>>13667482
this is the best guido for anons on how to get a girl. The fundamental aspect is that getting a gf is a reward for being happy, and not something you strive for to be happy. This is evident in the distiction betwen shallow carefree normies and a brooding autist anon that has cultivated doubt and perhaps even some self hatred.

>> No.13667648

>>13667529
I see nothing that relates the autistic schizo-poetry disguised as advice in your image to
>The fundamental aspect is that getting a gf is a reward for being happy, and not something you strive for to be happy.

but that is very good advice regarding happiness

>> No.13667679

>>13667529
>>13667648
But even normies who are unhappy and "depressed" have gf's. It has nothing to do with getting a gf. All that matters is being sufficiently attractive and socially active (which requires you to not have any significant mental issues).

>> No.13667691

>>13667306
Those NBA games where you use the right stick to shoot are fun. Same with the goofy football games like Blitz and Backbreaker.

>> No.13667696

>>13666547
Based

>> No.13667706

>>13667306
>Wiki for the socially retarded
That would be really nice, but socially retarded people don't know enough to do it, normies that don't have such issues wouldn't waste their time in doing it and are probably not even conscious of the behaviours that make them normal.

>> No.13667710

>>13667679
have gf's sure but more than likely didn't get them while they were sad / depressed. Having an unsatisfying relationship can bring you down, remember.

>> No.13667747

>>13667251
It significantly improves your chances and gives you resolve

>> No.13667767

Emily Post or Debretts. Depending which side of the Atlantic you're on.

>> No.13667777

I've always thought about writing one but I feel like I should achieve something first. That's probably why people don't write them.

>> No.13667790

>>13667679
>>13667648
to me having reached the lvl of self-assurance as the man in the pic is akin to that happiness. If he is ultimately lying to himself we may never know, but the self love he profoses is the crux of the issue.

>> No.13667793

>>13666550
Too bad

>> No.13667798
File: 63 KB, 640x654, D7BD00FC-EFD3-4AB9-8FA3-9BA28AFCE4B5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13667798

>>13666550
Then they failed at life and now you must do what they didn’t in order to succeed, or at the very least get closer to the path of success than they did

>> No.13667810

>>13667679
>>13667529
Is the nature of men to uplift their partners, you could met a literally iliterate qt and you'll most likely find stisfaction on the act of bringing her up. Most females on the other hand will chastize you for you being lesser in even the most trivial of aspects, and will ultimately start to resent you from it. Its really common for men without experience on how to deal with female BS to start questioning their self worth.

>> No.13667921

>>13666463
because life is not uniform, all guides end up being to general

>> No.13667929

>>13667356
That is because working there is like being in hell.
>>13667304
How do you spot a scam? They did ask me to write down my name and do some papers but I assumed they wanted to see if I had good handwriting.

>> No.13667941

The reality is that life is a race to the bottom. There is nothing but despair waiting in the future, and the longer we go one the more evident it is. You can turn religious to hope that the afterlife might be ok but the fact is that this life here is a scam and nothing more.

>> No.13667942

>>13667929
>That is because working there is like being in hell.
Working anywhere is hell. If you want a job, then that's your choice.

>> No.13667954
File: 476 KB, 1440x2048, 006.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13667954

>>13666463
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W_0E1QRx84

>> No.13667961

This is your brain on instutionalised education

>> No.13667967

>>13667942
>Working anywhere is hell.
not true. High turnover just means you too will be gone and are waiting your time. you could build a career and if you were the type who could make it at amazon warehouse you would not need a job from them in the first place

>> No.13667979

>>13667967
>not true
Yes it is
>you could build a career
You'll still think working is hell, you'll just be well paid for being in hell

>> No.13667980

is there anything more cucked than believing in careers or future, selling your time for some overlord for the faint hope that you might (MIGHT) """"make it"""" one day

im an engineer btw

>> No.13667990

>>13667980
I mostly work only when im paid. none of that "do this and later we will show you proper respect" If im not promised payment I assumed Im doing it for free and only times I do that is if my dad asks me to.

>> No.13667998

>>13667990
even if you get paid you're still selling your time, work is a waste of time by definition because otherwise no one would pay you for it. what you say makes sense ofc, no use working if you won't get paid. luckily i live in a country where i can live off unemployment benefits, otherwise i would have already killed myself

>> No.13668002

>>13667185
>Have a few close male friends that go outside and to clubs and other social eventsgo with thembe cordial and friendly with the women you eventually encounter without expecting sex
this is actually the best advice I've ever seen on this site when it comes to this topic

unfortunately, I do not have friends

>> No.13668018

Getting a gf is rather easy but work life is living in a hell. I'm unironically jealous of the people who lived in USSR and had to do some completely useless job like guarding a bridge that no one used, at least it was easy and secure.

>> No.13668042

>>13667998
I live in a country were we don't really have unemployment benefits. officially they exist but the amount is shit, its hard to get on the list and they assign you some faggot to hound you about getting a job. granting them access to your house anytime they want to is part of the deal (so they can check if you are hiding money or some shit). I agree that working (most of the time) is just a waste of time. There are days when I show up to the office and do nothing all day or do stuff I could have done from home if majority of people working there were not tech illiterate.
>even if you get paid
yeah but im talking about high level of cucker where people work for a promise of an advancement (that might never come) or get below minimum for their position because "they are paying their dues" only to end up thrown away or dismissed because the company folded. people who suffer small indignities that pile up (with boss venting at them because his sugar spiked or some other bullshit) being asked to clean the toilets despite not being the cleaner but boss being too cheap to hire anyone. top cuckery is all that plus you doing all the work while boss pockets 80% and the credit
>>13668002
its meh advice. if you don't have self confidence you will just end up with the ugly girl of the group if you are lucky. most likely you will just be the driver and the wallet.

>> No.13668052

>>13668018
and you got paid food and promises that got mostly kept. these days such jobs pay less than 100$ a month and you can't really guard anything because you are 1 guy doing 24 hour shifts ,the perimeter is not secure and no one (boss included) wants you to actually search people to see if they are taking something. They just need a fall guy and if something goes wrong it comes out of your pay.

>> No.13668068

>>13668042
I mean yeah the high level cuckers you talk about are americans and they are honestly stupid. It's a market place we live in, you're not supposed to do anything without getting paid.

Life nowadays is all about backstabbing and cucking other people and if you don't enjoy this game you might just as well kill yourself

>> No.13668074

>>13668042
>its meh advice
it's still more useful and truthful than anything else I've read when it comes to >tfw no gf advice in nearly a decade on here

>> No.13668094

>>13666463
>>13666666

>> No.13668114

>>13667679
a lot of people are high-functioning even with depression. you wouldn't have known Robin Williams was depressed until he blew his brains out, and likely neither would anybody else unless they were extremely close to him.

>> No.13668166

>>13667929
>How do you spot a scam?
Well usually the job offer is very vague and there aren't many requirements or skills to perform the job, the also promise good earnings or are vague about the contract. Quite often you can just Google the brand of the company or even the phone number with which they contact you.

>> No.13668186

>>13667980
>im an engineer btw
Then shut the fuck up you wagecuck, you have no idea of how neetdom fucks your brain

>> No.13668209

>>13668186
i am a neet atm, just an engineer by education and previour work life

>> No.13668212

>>13668074
You have been browsing here for 10 years and you still don't have a gf?

>> No.13668240

>>13668209
Maybe there isn't a way of "making it" but being a wagecuck gives you the possibility of having a somewhat acceptable life and possibly a gf, neetdom on the other hand can only lead one to further degenerating his mental state and potentially ending up homeless.

>> No.13668256

>>13668240
All life is insanity but working leads to suicide unlike unemployment, at least in my country. I have already had two relationships and they won't fix they futility or working.

>> No.13668347

>>13668186
I was a neet for 4 year. everyday I wish I could go back to those days. I dream of reaching retirement age, even if its shit it will be better than the slog that is work

>> No.13668418

>>13667464
>posts his shitty, broken resume

>> No.13668548

>>13668418
libreoffice fucked it up
either way, it gets me jobs ez

>> No.13668566

>>13667790
He doesn't seem self-loving to me at all. If he was, he wouldn't have to spout his weird schizo belief-system on vague internet forums

tl;dr imo he's lying to himself and trying to validate his delusional double-think by posting it online

>> No.13668984
File: 34 KB, 268x201, 61735-full.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13668984

>>13667464
Nigger wtf kinda klinefelter ass bullshit is that resume template? Get the fuck off of /lit/ with your bagboy larping you trisomic charity sponge

>> No.13668990

>>13666472
IF YOUR PARENTS FAILED WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU ABOUT GOD?

>> No.13669012

>>13668990

IT SAYS MORE ABOUT THE SYSTEM THEY WERE INDOCTRINATED IN.

IT IS / WAS YOUR JOB TO DESTROY THAT SYSTEM AND FREE YOUR PARENTS.

>> No.13669020

>>13668984
These were my thoughts as well.

Dont knock mentally retarded bagboy larping until you try it though, its more fun than it looks

>> No.13669025

Because the rules change constantly, and hindsight is 20/20. You get to know the rules only in hindsight, and they were made on the go.

>> No.13669031

>>13668984
>trisomic charity sponge
fuckin jej, /lit/ insults like these are getting rarer these days

>> No.13669058
File: 178 KB, 500x281, efa.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13669058

>>13668984

>> No.13669096

>>13666555
Book of wisdom, pal

>> No.13669103

>>13667464
wtf am I reading

why is the template so fucked up?

why are none of the section titles capitalized?

why are you 18+ working as a bagger/cashier?

why are you giving people advice on how to be a bagger/cashier?

why would you think people want, let alone need advice on how to become a bagger/cashier?

why are you on /lit/ if you never had the mental capacity for higher education?

So many questions. I'm so fucking confused. And I'm entirely convinced that any answers would just raise further questions.

>> No.13669114

>>13667464
Praise Aldi my master in hell

>> No.13669115

>>13668984
/r/brandnewsentence

>> No.13669123 [DELETED] 

>>13669012
OKAY DADDY, RIGHT AFTER I CLEAN MY ROOM

>> No.13669132

>>13667464
This nigger was offering to critique resumes then drops this monstrosity lmfao

>> No.13669140

>>13668984
>Get the fuck off of /lit/ with your bagboy larping you trisomic charity sponge
this should be included in the sticky, unironically

>> No.13669267

>>13666463
its called stoicism

>> No.13669490

The holy Quran and Hadith

>> No.13669711
File: 171 KB, 1654x2339, CV1-2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13669711

>>13668984
>>13669103

Because believe it or not, you actually need a CV for applying to work as a bagboy.

And believe it or not, being a bagboy is better than having no job when you're actually a financially independent adult.

There are people out there that can't write CV's for these positions. For example making it clear that you've been a NEET for 10 years. Or that you've never worked at all. You'd know if you've ever actually had to apply for them.

>> No.13669723

>>13667306
This is a thing already. There is that guide called the well cultured anonymous that was written to guide neckbeards to normalhood in every aspect of life.

>> No.13669735

>>13669103
>why is the template so fucked up?
libraoffice shat itself

>why are none of the section titles capitalized?
Because

>why are you 18+ working as a bagger/cashier?
Because I needed food in my stomach

>why are you giving people advice on how to be a bagger/cashier?
Because you have to start somewhere if you have nothing

>why would you think people want, let alone need advice on how to become a bagger/cashier?
Because OP is directly asking for advice on how to get a job, and it's probably the easiest job you could go for

>why are you on /lit/ if you never had the mental capacity for higher education?
studying engineering rn

I'm not surprised you're confused when you actually need to ask obvious fucking questions like these you mong

>> No.13669768

>>13669711
>>13669735
Senpai no offense but if someone handed me that resume I'd have to use all my willpower to stifle my laughter and have the receptionist walk you back to your caretaker asap

>> No.13669842

>>13669768
>>13669768
Okay. Why?

>> No.13669849

>>13669842
Also please get your brain checked if you're assuming this is a resume for anything other than grocery stores

>> No.13669865

>>13669842
nigga barring the content itself which is objectively laughable, why is the formating, even in the "fixed" version so retardedly uneven? for crying out loud, the left margin is obviously bigger even to the naked eye, it looks absolutely unprofessional.

>> No.13669907

>>13669865
>The content itself which is objectively laughable
Which part?

>for crying out loud, the left margin is obviously bigger even to the naked eye
This is actually a conscious decision. It's pretty deliberately off center based on the assumption that most resumes at this level will have a standardised margin, and will also be stacked on a desk in A4 for examination. The idea is that if you're filing through a thick stack of resumes, the off margin will stick out and draw the eye. Weird, I know, but this CV layout definitely gets me the shit jobs I want it to get. I'm curious as to why you think the content itself is laughable though.

>> No.13670225
File: 31 KB, 728x483, 1565446793105.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13670225

>>13669907
>Weird, I know
No, pretty predictable in any case, not the first time I've heard this, and absolutely the answer I was expecting from someone with no common sense or self-perception.

You are not getting rejected from overqualifications any time soon, I'll give you that, you've truly "gamed the system".

>> No.13670239

Thats what school is for

>> No.13670354

>>13669907
you're getting butthurt because anonymous people on a cantonese paper staring forum are laughing at your nonsensical smug self-confidence because you think you've tricked people into letting you shove cat food inside plastic bags for poverty wage

>> No.13670653

>>13670225
>>13670354
Why are you guys so mean to him, poor anon just wanted to be helpful.

>> No.13670899

>>13667464
>tfw in stem and also write the work experience description in dry paragraph form like this
is this why i'm unemployed

>> No.13671042

>>13668984
>you trisomic charity sponge
my tears welcomes you, I had a good laugh

>> No.13671203

Because you don't need a whole book to figure it out.

>how to get a job
Be the best applicant for the job.

>how to get a gf
Be desirable.

>how to deal with social interactions
Make other people feel good when they talk to you.

Ta da. If you can't figure it out from there a book wouldn't help you anyway.

Every human behaviour has a purpose. We're not all just doing random shit for the fun of it. It takes energy to do things and we need that energy to survive. Look at what other people are doing, understand why they are doing it, and then construct your own behaviours to achieve your goals based on those lessons.

For example: why do people engage in small talk? You should be able to answer this question. If you can't, think hard about it and watch people who are doing it. I'll give you a hint: it's not because anyone actually gives a shit about what's being said. It's the ACT of small talking that is important, not the content of the talk.

>> No.13671222

>>13668212
I was underage when I came here, turning 22 soon

>> No.13671416

Nicolson - Good Behavior
Cultural Literacy: What Every American Needs to Know
Peter Watson - Convergence

>> No.13671587

>>13671203
>why do people engage in small talk?
>It's the ACT of small talking that is important
Hmm indeed what they are saying has no importance and the information exchanged is useless most of the time.
I don't get it, what is the purpose of such behaviour

>> No.13671776

https://discord.gg/az3CXnJ

>> No.13671779

yo https://discord.gg/az3CXnJ

>> No.13671899
File: 41 KB, 400x582, anastasia cebulska _ Tumblr.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13671899

>>13667179
Thank you

>> No.13671942

>>13667998

Which country is that?

>> No.13671987
File: 1.25 MB, 1622x2516, 18AC9618-3E6E-4996-A50B-E8FE46FF6757.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13671987

There is, and it’s almost entirely unheard of.

>> No.13671993

>>13670653

The answer is underage/still in high school.

>> No.13672022

>>13671987
>keep to yourself
>everything you say is reflective of you, guard your speech and trust nobody
>find a necessary skill in short supply and master it (ex. Night combat)
>never stop reading or learning
>don’t piss off the US government in a country you can be extradited
>karate, do it
>check for car bombs every time you get in a vehicle. Be constantly aware of surroundings
>learn to fight a losing battle and come out ahead
>don’t do drugs, the sheer exhilaration of coming home alive and going balls deep in a Mexican whore is the best high you’ll ever have
Basically it’s 12 Rules of Life written for men and not emasculated soibois

>> No.13672140

>>13671993
23 / in university

>> No.13672153

>>13666463

this is what high school should be instead of some extremely shallow academic subject prep. for most kids it's worthless

honestly Anon the great stories we are told as kids serve this purpose. wiser older people recognize that practical skills aren't actually as important as the ones we learn from:
- David and Goliath
- abraham and Isaac
- Noah and the ark
- parts of the Odyssey.
- parts of Plutarch
- the little red hen, the emperor's new clothes, etc.

>> No.13672314

>>13667464
>Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Conors

>> No.13672696

>>13668984
>Nigger wtf kinda klinefelter ass bullshit is that resume template
this thread is complete ass cancer but at least this gave me a decent chuckle

>> No.13672817

>>13670653
Understand I have nothing but kindness and respect for those who genuinely help others around here by dispensing helpful advice. Yet, no matter what his attentions are, the only thing bagboy anon here is dispensing is halfwitted guidance that can really only be useful for his poor aneuploidic fellows down at the group home. Him passing such advice off as some golden key for job application is laughable in a community where a large majority has some degree of higher education. Kindness is cruel in the wrong forms.

>> No.13672877

>>13666463
>Why isn't there a guide book on life?
eat, shit, sleep, possibly procreate and die
everything else is pretty much optional
don't need a book on how to shit well, I guess you could find a book about sleeping and eating well

>> No.13672904

>>13672877
Actually most people shit in a bad position, it’d be better to squat over the toilet.

>> No.13673000

>>13669842
The CV is usually a 1-2 page document that contains the following information:
1. Name, contact (email/phone), address of the applicant
2. Work experience (starting for the latest moving to the oldest) and contains the following information:
- dates (from-to)
- name of the position
- name of the company
- main responsibilities (preferably in short bullets or if one long paragraph with short sentences.)
3. Education
- name of the institution
- acquired degree
- specialization (if any)
- GPA/some information about the knowledge acquired
4. Skills
- language skills (fluency)
- computer skills (list of programs you are proficient with, excel, powerbi photoshop etc
- drivers license
5. Interests
- list of hobbies, interests (either in short bullets or divided by a semicolon)
6. Additional information
- include information about what your expect from the position like
- expected salary (use a range based on the average for that position)
- possible starting date
- are you ok with working on shifts
- any medical history which the employer should know (disability etc.)

7. (optional) Personality profile
- list your strengths and weaknesses in short bullets, preferably dividing the two in separate columns.
- strengths could be: team player, goal oriented, punctual, reliable etc
- weaknesses could be: workaholic, impatient etc.

If you include point 7 place it in front of point 2. That is pretty much it. Have to keep everything simple because the interviewer has to skim through a lot of CVs per day. Nobody wants to read a wall of text.

Play also with the formatting and you are good.

>> No.13673037

>>13673000
Include a photograph if you have one. Profile picture of the face+part of neck; either go to a photo studio or any place which can make those small passport photographs. Shirt with a collar will do. Scan the photo and add it to the CV. Or if they can just send you digital version on e-mail is also good. Once done with the CV, make it in a pdf file to prevent changes. That is pretty much it.

>> No.13673049
File: 11 KB, 454x520, 1565150063491.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13673049

>>13666547
>It's called the Holy Bible, heathen.

>> No.13673120

>>13673037
Some companies like to get a motivational letter too, which is just an abridged version of the CV and it goes something like this:

- Salutations
Dear sirs,
- subject of the letter
I am writing regarding the position X which was published on Y by your company.
- introduction of the applicant + education
My name is XX, am XY years old, I graduated from YY and acquired a degree in ZZ.
- more about your work experience (related to the position you are applying if possible)
The position your company is offering is similar to what I did in XX, where I have gained the following skills. I am also experienced with [list skills]
- Self marketing (personality profile, strenghts weaknesses)
Should you consider to hire me, I am offering the following skills.
- Closure
I am looking forward to hearing from you. My contact details are included in the CV.
Yours sincerely,
name

You can look for other stuff in the Emily Post Etiquette book. You can find it in some libraries or if you have an archive.org account, you can borrow it from here
https://archive.org/search.php?query=emily%20post%20etiquette

>> No.13673143

>>13673120
If you are not the book type, you can also just watch old educational videos from the 60's here
https://www.youtube.com/user/OldTVTime

It will teach you a thing or two about life. They are cheesy, but the message still stands today.

>> No.13673146

>>13668984
>Nigger wtf kinda klinefelter ass bullshit is that resume template?
>Get the fuck off of /lit/ with your bagboy larping you trisomic charity sponge
I miss 2010 /lit/. Golden insults like these were so common then. Now its just pseud larpers quoting stuff they don't understand

>> No.13673180
File: 13 KB, 350x278, super-sad-cat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13673180

>>13668984
>tfw people roast rather than laud your S-tier bagboy larping skills

>> No.13673220

>>13673143
>sending a cover letter to a low tier service industry employer
>writing that you're impatient on your CV

lmao

>> No.13673243

>>13672817
nigger anon said he wants a job and is neet, he is asking for advice on how to get a shit job, what the fuck are you talking about hahahaha

>> No.13673289

>>13673220
Of course those are just examples, the applicant has to figure his/her own weaknesses.

Cover letters are only required if the job offer specifically states it. Not sure how it is in most countries, where I am there are few websites where employers upload their job offers, so they include instructions like: "send CV and cover letter here" or "send CV here".

>> No.13673316

>>13673243
Then I'd give him advice on how to get an actual job that had some possibility of upward mobility, not some retard position shelving kraft and corn flakes. Those jobs are quite literally only used for 16 year olds and 55 IQ state-burden charity cases. Any 24 year old NEET can take a 2 day forklift course and instantly start making 30k a year. Shits easy as fuck and if my felon cousin can do it I'm pretty fuckin' sure anyone that has at least the mental capacity to access and post of 4chan can do it too, as well as a wide variety of other options that don't fucking include shoving twinkies into aldi bags.

>> No.13673321

>>13666463
Bible

>> No.13673361

>>13673316
Problem with long term NEETs is that they need a simple routine job to get used to the change of lifestyle. Even if the job is part time job, it will generate a small income, so it is better than having nothing. As for getting a better paid position it is advisable for the person to educate himself while they are not employed or while they do have a shitty job.
The equation is simple - you use your free time to educate yourself and get skills so you can apply for better positions, no matter what your current status is (employed or not)

>> No.13673414

>>13673316
>get an actual job that had some possibility of upward mobility
>aldi store manager salary is $70k

>> No.13673481

>>13673414
>55k after spending ~3 years as a trainee
>trainee consideration requiring prior management experience
>1 trainee hire for every 20 applicants
mhm

>> No.13673562

>>13673481
>55k after spending ~3 years as a trainee
$42k trainee manager wage, and it's genuinely $70k for the general manager wage.
>trainee consideration requiring prior management experience
which you will have as a shift manager
>1 trainee hire for every 20 applicants
>>each store will have about 2-3 assistant managers at most
>>The majority of assistant managers are satisfied with their pay at this point and don't want the responsibilities that come with promotion beyond this point anyway

You're shifting goalposts at this point but okay

>> No.13673836

>>13673562
and becoming shift manager includes?.. Lmao. Quit acting like bagboy is a highly mobile position

You're confusing goal post shifting with a logical breakdown. Try to at least understand meme quotes before you use them

>> No.13673948

>>13673836
>and becoming shift manager includes?
little more than being a competent good store assistant for a few years

>You're confusing goal post shifting with a logical breakdown
>goal post shifting: ...to change the criterion (goal) of a process or competition while it is still in progress, in such a way that the new goal offers one side an intentional advantage or disadvantage.
Which is what you did when I refuted your point that working at Aldi is an immobile position

>obliviously prattling on with your shitbrained backwards logic because the person you're arguing with had a funny post directed at them earlier

lmaoing @ ur life

>> No.13674405

maps of meaning is one mans attempt

>> No.13675004

>>13672140

Not you, the mean assholes.

>> No.13675618

>>13675004
nigga u on 4chan

>> No.13675651
File: 196 KB, 1696x2560, 71KBsWtC6RL.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13675651

>>13666463
??

>> No.13676527
File: 25 KB, 720x540, 1556342734155.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13676527

>>13673562
>>13673948
Jesus christ why does so much of your self-worth as an individual appears to be wrapped around a fucking trainee position on Aldi's of all places what the actual fuck am i reading. I cant reach another conclusion, otherwise you wouldn't be equating an attack on the job itself as character assassination as you are obviously doing, just how dull and insipid can you get?

>> No.13676596
File: 63 KB, 720x960, 1533538513363.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13676596

>>13673220
Theres unironically nothing wrong with it, I wrote on my cv that my virtue of being extremely patience is also a flaw since it robed me of any semblance of proactivity and I got a job as a senior in Deloitte.