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/lit/ - Literature

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13644552 No.13644552 [Reply] [Original]

I had wandered and remained lost. In the depth of the shadows that surround me I am swept into despair; "Where has the light gone" I asked the darkness. "Where should I go to escape this place?" I received no answer so I continued my journey. As I strayed farther into oblivion I had felt a touch of some unforgiving lowness. It was meant for me and no one else. I was not alone, yet I am very alone. "What is this touch I had felt" I wondered. Again I had no answer. ..No this isn't right. I wasn't lost but I was alone. My mind had escaped me and I could not longer see through the veil. I was trapped where I stood. I had felt the finality of my life in the result of being here in the dark.
"Oh Death, how beautiful you are. I would seek you but I am unable to see" I uttered in a whisper. Fearful of the dark I was certain I would Die, But I did not die. I was reborn into the world of strife with no sight, destiny a distant thought, stumbling upon nothing; The world was flat yet my feet stammered as I stepped. No, this isn't right at all. I was never there and the world was not flat, I know this now. I did not know that I remained still and my eyes were closed. I stood in the light all the while. I was only dreaming, but now I have awoken.
"Oh light how beautiful you are. You are too bright for me, I am blinded by your radiance." I shouted to the open world.
Yet this was not enough for Life is eternal, I had seen. There is no place for me here, for I am damned and again My eyes closed by the brightness of the sun. I again was lost, but not by accident. I had shun the light of the world for it was too great for me to bear.
Keeping one eye open and the other closed, I sacrificed myself so that I could see the light and the dark. But I did go blind in my opened eye. I questioned if I should open my other eye, But I feared going blind completely. All I had seen was the dark even though one eye is open. I remain this way for I am tired of the waking world.

>> No.13644557
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13644557

>>13644552
One eye closed I hold myself to the dark and would not relinquish my sight for the sake of all that live. I had observed the world is both the dark and light, and had seen that one was comfortable and the other joyful.
I did not desire Joy, for the Joy I had seen was greater than I could recognize; That life was not meant for me, so I remained blind in one eye that was once open and my other eye closed. I will not afford myself that place of solace and contentedness. I had made the willful choice to remain in my small place that I had resided in. Though my choice is not of my own inclination. I did not mean to observe that greater world but my eyes are not my own for I can not see. As I remained still and blind, my closed eye began to open. Despite this I turned away from the light. But as the darkness the light surrounded me and I was kept still by my own delusion. What is it that keeps me here? I do not control my body, I had seen and felt. But as I had recalled, The touch I once felt was in truth a sensation that I recognized. I was not alone, yet I had seen no one else near to me. "What is that touch I had felt" I asked myself. Was it of the light or the dark, I could not know. No, This too is wrong. I felt no touch. The touch must have been a thought that comforted me in my loneliness, though it felt real; Something my thought is not able to convey, a physical feeling. I had remained lost as I stood still only feeling this sensation of motion, for my mind moves more than my body. I was kept still, but for why I could not know. I had let go of my ambition and could only see what was in front of me, yet all I saw was the unrelenting dark. Blinded yet still aware of the nature of my circumstance. I hide myself away by the closing of my eyes and still am too unfamiliar with the light to observe it, as It holds me back from my own desire. I am hungry for the dark and I must always be. No...this is not right once again.

>> No.13644561
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13644561

>>13644557
3/3 for now
Yes, I am wrong. I have mistaken my intention of this story. But this is not a story at all. I hang in between the waking world and the world of night. I find my comfort in the night and fear that my other eye will force itself open against my will. I wish to remain in the night and dark for I am solitary and willfully alone. I have lost myself, my way, my reason. I can not remember my story. It is lost on me. "what was this story meant to be?" I ask myself.
The coming to light in the dark, but it is only a glimmer. I must remain with my seeing eye closed. For the dark brings me comfort. "I was never meant to be here" I stated sternly to myself. "Yet all I feel is peace here in this place.
My peace of mind is a distorted image it seems. I can not relate to the ideals of others. I have the choice; To be of this world or not. It is my only solace, for the world of the waking is far to great. It is not of my choosing, but of my nature. I am not myself for I am only a photograph of a picture of a painting. I am false, and the world of the waking and living cant not see me in my true light, for it is not the world that is bright and shining but it is my self that the light radiates.
I am blind to my own self, yet I am surrounded by shadow. I am seen by all, yet am invisible to my self. How must I be perceived? I am not meant to be seen for I thought I was unable to see myself. How dim is my light? Or does it shine brighter than it must? How much can my eyes endure?
I am not the wonderful thing that is known. I am desolate as the dark night, abandoned by the presence of others. This is the way I must be. In delusion or not. I am not alone in my mind.

>> No.13644576

>describing my mental illnesses

How do you respond?