/lit/ - Literature

she never read a book in her life
and that's a good thing

>>13631558
>your gf
Y-yeah

I have NO gf

>>13631558
Terry Pratchett.
And she keeps re-reading the Harry Potter books.

my diary desu

>>13631558
Barbarian days is her favorite book.

LISTEN UP LADS! I need your help. I'm about to go to a restaurant and get two out of three of the following dishes:
>french toast with strawberries
>pancakes with strawberries
>waffles with strawberries

All three are equally good. How do I decide which two to get?

>>13631558
god imagine smelling her feet

>>13631625
Why 2? How can anyone eat 2 dishes in their own? I would chose the waffles and go for a walk if I were you.

>>13631634
die smellfag. you are an embarrassment to footfags

>>13631605
that sounds like a massive red flag

>>13631638
I will be going for a walk as well. I'm getting two because I am suicidally depressed and somehow the idea of eating a lot of syrup is making me feel like I can get through another day of this horrible nightmare.

>>13631625
>All three are equally good
>implying waffles aren't vastly superior to the other two options
lmao pleb

>>13631634
I want to smell her pussy after 1 week of no washing.

>>13631625
waffles and french toast 4 sure fuck pancakes

>>13631625
Waffles and french toast. Pancakes are common here but not waffles.

>>13631558
She liked Dostoevsky and Asimov a lot but she left me two years ago. I've been alone ever since.

She considers herself an avid reader, but only reads sci-fi and fantasy and memes like Sapkowski or those GoT books.
Oh well, what can you do? Girls who read actual literature barely exost anymore.

>>13631625
I hope you aren't going by yourself.

>>13631685
Untrue, problem is they're often just as mean as we are and most of this board wants to be with someone kind, polite, and pleasant.

>>13631625
This is a very shitty riff on Buridan's Ass.

>>13631558
jung

OP just BTFO'd the entire board with a single question. How can we come back from this??

>>13631558
I am a 27 years old kissless virgin.

>>13631739
Why? Did you turn down every approach a girl made on you?

>>13631558
whatever i'm reading.

>>13631558
Cèline

>>13631774
Also yes, but because I suffered from phimosis and I have not negative post-phimosis condition that made me insecure and anxious all the time, unable to approach and interact with girls properly.

>>13631558
Oscar Wilde. She's never read a single one of his plays, but tells everyone how much she loves Wilde based solely on having read The Picture of Dorian Grey like fifteen times.

I'm 29 years old and I have never had a girlfriend.

Bitch doesn’t read a thing but she’s happy to listen to me ramble about the books I read. The other night we were about to fall asleep when she asks me “anon, have you read Toni Morrison?” To which I said no I’m not familiar. She says “that’s because you’re white” in the most condescending way imaginable.

I have to say that she’s not wrong because I don’t read nigger lit but I definitely made her grab her ankles and smashed her cunty face into the bathroom tile when we fucked in the shower the next day. She loved it. All is right in the universe and I love this woman.

>>13631605
Is your gf 14 years old?

Radiotron Designers Handbook fourth edition
By Fritz Langford-Smith.
I guess that's her favourite author it's the only book she ever talked about.

girls constantly approach me and I sperg on all of them
I will die alone

>>13631854
>and you don't read at all because you're not white

holy shit dude, she set it up for you so hard.

>>13631861
nice

Schopenhauer

Camus

>>13631558
Cassandra Clare

>>13631558
Aksel Sandemose and Oscar Wilde

I fucked up lads, I got the waffles and they were really good, and the waitress came over and pulled out the receipt assuming I was finished, and I panicked and decided to say "actually, I'll have the pancakes as well" before I had finished really deciding whether I thought I could handle the pancakes. I always do this, whenever I have to act normal quickly but I haven't decided what I really want to do. I prioritize being "smoothly normal" over just looking weird for the few extra seconds it takes to delay making a decision. Especially if I've managed to get some smooth normie banter going with a normal person I can't handle the prospect of crashing back into autism, so I try to maintain the banter even if it means sacrificing my own happiness or health.

So I got the pancakes but it became clear within seconds that I couldn't finish them. But now I didn't want the nice Hispanic waitress to think I was a pussy, or an ingrate. She knew I was struggling and came by to refill my water, and I made a joke about how I'm trying my best but I am struggling to finish, and she laughed again. I tried thinning out the batter in my stomach by drinking more water but it barely helped. Ultimately I only finished 65-70% of the pancakes. I tried hiding some of the half-eaten remaining pancakes with my napkins in the hopes she wouldn't see how much I left. I didn't know how to ask for the receipt so I awkwardly got up and went to find the waitress, and just then she rounded the corner and seemed weirded out by the fact that I had gone to find her. I paid at the counter without incident but now I feel sick and my morning is ruined. I'm pretty sure I left a big tip but I have short term memory problems with things like this if I dwell on them, so now I can't tell whether I really did leave the correct tip or whether I accidentally wrote the "total" number as too small for the amount I tipped (and I'm not sure if that would take precedence), so now I'm worried that when she was smiling and looking down at the bill after I signed it, she was actually just about to make a reaction like "why did you tip me so poorly?" and I only didn't notice it because I began to walk away awkwardly quickly.

>>13631558
My ex did her masters thesis on Joyce

>>13631558
Must you torture me so?

>>13632467
You should've got the French toast bro

>>13632467
None of that really matters anon. I understand your anxiety, but it's unreasonable, believe me. Why care what that cute Spanish waitress think of you? I'm all for endearing oneself to cuties but you have to live your own life.

If that can make you feel better it's likely about a hundred million people in the world hate you without even knowing you and you can't do anything about it. Yet they will never act on their hate. So why fret? It's not like one waiter is going to change anything.

>>13631558doesn't read

Voltaire

>>13631625
Pancakes and french toast fuck waffles how do you even eat them

>>13631558
Bataille

she has no favorite, but hermann hesse, max frisch, sartre and the stranger from camus

>>13632722
adding: sartre is hard to read, and virginia woolf is also nice

>>13631814
had a gf with phimosis for 6 months, no sex because i was too scared, and didn't know about my phimosis, then i did the circumcision, but no gf for 3 years, then i found my current gf and was open about my sex problems and we slowly started and now i'm fine. was a virgin until 26 too, don't worry. just be patient and work on yourself in the meantime. good luck

>>13632722
idiot whore

>>13632800
why?

>>13631861
Nope. But she fulfills the role of what I want in a gf.
I prefer her infantile, as most women are, and quite a lot of men.

>>13631558
>gf
haha. The last girl I had sex with read some pop-country star's book, that's about it. A big-titty girl that I hate/am obsessed with sometimes reads the Bible.

>>13631558
Mary Chevalier, author of Girl with a Pearl Earring.

Girlfriends are overrated. The sex is not even worth it.

>>13632914
easy for a virgin to say

>>13632923
I have slept with 17 different women and had 3 girlfriends.

>>13632930
I have slept with 40 different women (all of which were models) and had 3 girlfriends one of which was your mum

>>13632933
Nice cope, my guy.

>>13632941
yes because you being a top shagger wasn't a cope

>>13631774
>a girl approaching a man

That doesn't happen where I live. If you never try you can easily become a 31 years old kissless, handholdless and hugless virgin like mysef.

>>13632923
In my experience, people who think women are overrated are either spiteful virgins or exhausted chads. Everyone knows/has heard of spiteful dudes who don't get any, but rarely the opposite is considered. Qohelet in Ecclesiastes is a good example of someone who has had too much pussy and is ready for something else. Roosh V, a famous pick-up artist who has had hundreds of women is converting to Orthodox Christianity and bans talk of premarital sex on his forums now. My gym rat friend who has been with 3 digits now is a hermit who reads books on Initiatic Traditions in his room all day. It's uncommon, but it certainly happens.

>>13632943
What the hell is your problem, anon? You’re clearly projecting your insecurities onto your posts. If other men having sex upsets you, consider resolving your involuntary celibacy. You’re probably the anon that posts those threads about reading in the park and still not getting a girlfriend.

>>13632960
people who act as if women are incredible are incels, people who act as they don't care about having sex are coping incels
>it doesn't matter that I'm not having sex because I don't want it anyway

>>13632467
this is me but i dont go anywhere so i could avoid situations like this and the following hours of crippling anxiety and paranoia

>>13632796
Was circumcision your only option? Did you try to stretch or adopt other methods?

>>13632962
Being a boomer is clearly not an age thing

>>13631824

Oh no

She's illiterate.

>>13631861
I wish.

>>13632467
It's alright anon, you'll sleep it off.

>>13632467
Why would a waitress give a shit that you 'only' finished 65% of your food lmao? She probably sees a shitton of waste.

>>13632467
i know how you feel bro. one time i accidentally elbowed a girl on an airplane and while frantically apologizing i went to take a nervous sip of coffee and spilled it on her

>>13631558
Whatever your girlfriend's favorite author is.

>>13631563
t. Rousseau

>>13631558
She doesn’t read

>>13632971
it was medium strong, i just did what the doctor recommended, but pretty sure you couldn't stretch it.

The last girl I dated really liked George R. R. Martin, the last girl I fucked liked Baudelaire. I don't get a lot of action, though.

>>13631798
I see you've read the horsehead edition of Journey....

>>13632706
nice. know a girl like that too

O! when will I experience the « plaisir du pédéraste »?

>>13632467
>>13633663
Thank you for the laugh friends. Autism is fun

>>13631558
Lovecraft

>>13631558
She can't stop raving about Rilke

>>13632467
LMAO

>>13631558
Probably the author of The Alchemist or some Christian author. My gf is a qt trad Christian who doesn't meddle with overly complicated literature.

Anais Nin currently.

>>13634303
That's endearing.