/lit/ - Literature

I want to eat ass.

I had a hot dream about butterfly. She was played by Karlee Grey.

I thought I can write a story. Turned out I was autistically replaying the books I read all along.

Recently I got the extreme urge to fuck every one of my gfs female friends, just want to grab em and do em and make them violently scream in pleasure, I don’t know why my libido suddenly skyrocketed

>>13593448
That's great anon, virility is a sign of health. I recommend edging for a week to crank it up to 11. Start with audio porn for 3 days, then softcore striptease, and finish with your favourite hardcore stuff.

>>13593423
Don't worry, Wagner started with literally copying Beethoven's work note by note.

>>13593387
me too desu

Getting to an age where I feel like my complacency is starting to wear away and the grim reality of what my life will probably be like is setting in. I work a shitty unimportant job which doesn't even require my university degree, I have no creative accomplishments outside of when I was in high school, even though I am slim I am barely physically active and haven't played a team sport for over 5 years. I am watching all of my friends moving on with their lives and I am here, still stuck in the mindset of arrogance that might have been cool as an undergrad at 18 years old, but now I am 25 it just looks pathetic. I hate how shit I am at life.

>>13593507
Me too but I’m 27 lol

we've cultivated a culture of alienation and it will slowly destroy us all

While reading those of the stoics that reject metaphysics and logic and only concern themselves with the conduct of life, one feels a fresh and gentle wind in the face, like stepping out of the underwood onto an open pasture. It is so very difficult to go back into that forrest covered by fog which is commonly called by the name of Plato. A cloud of dust fills the room and through it, cabalistic symbols begin to glow, spells to summon unearthly spirits. Of course in the near future I will forever dwell among the cows.

I know evil. I can see it, skulking, trembling, coiled, withdrawn. Cowardly. And that is the true soul of evil, cowardice. Above all that is its essential trait. It fears the truth of its own meaninglessness. It knows of its own hollowness. The unmistakable guise of evil is detectable by anyone with the proper senses. You will know it by its gaunt, grinning face. By the way it sucks the air out of the room. By its insane delusion.

my chair is fucking shit my back hurts

>>13593482
i was on day 23 of nofap

>>13593517
what about it lol

>>13593482
It’s so fun...

>>13593379
You aren't pige

>>13593531
>it's our fault, we did this
>it's our culture

Recently had another existential crisis, questioning why I feel that nothing I do has any purpose. Sigh, time to take up my meds again.

>>13593379
lolis

The lines are drawn and set in place. The final battle of history will be between a hyper capitalist transhumanist west and a fascist China. If there are any humans that we can recognize two hundred years from now, they will be speaking Mandarin

Anyone else suffering from addiction? How the fuck do you completely stop? I’m just shifting my addiction around from one substance or activity to another, but I seem unable to completely stop. At one point I was comudober, but exercised excessively to the point of injury. Unable to work out I went back to drugs.
Will this ride never end? It’s been 7 years now, I don’t even know how I was able to finish my degree and get a nice paying job while being in an almost constant stupor. Everything always works out in the end even though I still feel like a fuck up.

>>13594937
What?

I'm going outside now, for a walk.

>>13593379
a man's verbal intelligence failing to keep up with and order his thought and schizophrenia are indistinguishable. When the man's memory is inadequate, it can in hindsight even begin to sow doubt within himself, as it is with me. Wyndham Lewis said that Dementia is (effectually) merely a chronic(or perpetual) and violent scepticism. Nothing feels real to the man without memory and sensation, this man seeks sensation to compensate for the lacking reality. I am an autist, I am numb. I have no sensations anymore. I am stuck in a philosophical mode not out of desire, I want to breach the walls of my mind.

How the FUCK is the government allowed to take a third of my income? In order to fund its pointless imperialistic wars of aggression? To pay for social security benefits that will go bankrupt by the time I come of age? To repair crumbling infrastructure (certainly not)?

I want my money you filthy slithering bloodsuckers.

>>13595169
You back yet?

>>13595084
eat ass

I grew up in a little town and had a great childhood. There were around 20 kids in my friend circle. We knew each other’s families, would casually walk into each other’s house often without even ringing the doorbell. Had I been born in some older culture I probably would have known them for the rest of my life, but no, I belong to the shitty time when all communities die. In the past decade the majority of my friends moved away, or went to college, leaving behind a ghost town. Last week another old friend moved away, it was a girl who I’d known since she was born. I’m in my mid 20s now and am convinced that most meaningful friendships are made in childhood, later on in life we have mere acquaintances instead.

>>13595043
Meditation helps.
A lot of y'all should do more meditation.
Turn on the light within.
You don't have to fight the dark, just turn on the light and darkness recedes on its own.

I have friends, mates, or whatever you call them. I can't call myself lonely. But I don't have a partner. In late twenties, I haven't been in love for the last decade. Being alone romantically has become normal. Like a part of being me. I don't feel the weight of lack of companionship, it is just who I am. I don't fell asleep dreaming of feeling another body next to me. And I can't say that I fully accepted it, there is a chance that I will meet somebody, there always is, but I don't crave it. I know that I should, but I don't, I used to. Now, the thought of being alone whole life seem non-threatening, like a part of being me, like having hair colour that I have. If it will happen then great but if it won't, I will not be suprised. I am only scared by my apathy on the subject. I'm afraid that in 20 years I will hate myself for... For what exacly, not yearning for something that I can live without, that probably won't happen anyway? That I will live next decades like I lived the last one?

>>13595043
>Everything always works out in the end even though I still feel like a fuck up.
I know that feel brotha. Can I ask on what substance you are addicted?

Hmm let's see whats on my mind...
There's this girl on Uni who I think is into me, she's a qt, but I don't really know for sure or if I'm just tripping. Talking about tripping, I have some ayhuasca stored, I'm thinking of maybe use it on friday. The things is, on wednesday a few friends from Uni are planning on going to a bar and get some drinks. The qt I was refering earlier will be there and she asked if I was going. If I go, then I will drink and I'm not going to be "pure" for my ayhuasca experience and will have to use only next week and I've been dying to use it for a long time. In fact, I was suposed to use it this last weekned, but my friend who was going to tripsitter me got sick. Idk, bros. Ayhua or girl?

it's crazy how a single decision about your education can fuck up your life. from being a happy teen to a suicidal adult. that decision became a dagger, they gave it to me and I stabbed my inner child with it.

>>13596699
You can do drugs anytime, the birds tend to fly off in a blink.

>>13596699
Girl

I'm a broke 21 yo NEET. Weeb, ponyfag, pervert, weed smoker, the whole shebang. What should I do with my life?

>>13596699
I'd do the hua but I'm a Buddhist monk who hasn't touched a girl since like second grade so don't take my word for it. Which is more important to you? A nice trip this weekend or the possibility of porking that fat ass sometime in the future? Also you could just drink non-alcoholic beer or something or take over for the designated driver.

>>13596857
Forgot to say, virgin wizard apprentice. Represent

Amazing how gooks can "assimilate" to the point of having no accent, being a second or even third generation immigrant, being wealthy, joining the upper class, going to a high profile university, but still can't learn basic fucking manners, still can't learn to chew with their mouths closed. Almost as if it's not just their culture..

>>13596857
>>13596861
Whatever you want my dude. Do you feel like doing anything?

>>13596883
smoking weed and sitting around in the sun

>>13596857
>weed smoker,
enjoy schizophreia

>>13596907
I don't have a history of mental illness in my Chad family. We die of heart disease. I just smoke weed and daydream while sitting around outside. I enjoy my schizophrenia very much thank you.

Night time sucks. I wish the sun was up so I could bask in it.

>>13596095
he probably died
I'm gonna go for a walk now I'll be back

>>13596904
Why not keep doing that till you're ready to do something else then? Is it keeping you from doing something else you feel like doing?

>>13596935
No, I'm having the time of my life. I'm going to drop some acid and eat some mushrooms later this month and smoke a bunch of weed out in nature.

>>13596938
The problem is that I'm enjoying myself too much and I have to work on writing more instead of just dreaming things up.

>>13593379
Anybody have sauce on that image ?

>>13593379
If being attracted to feet is as disgusting and taboo as everyone says, why do so many women get pedicures and paint their toenails?

>>13596938
>>13596943
If all you want out of life is to take it easy and write then you're in pretty good shape if you ask me. Just set aside a couple days a week to write and get the fuck out of your house to do it so shit won't distract you. Get used to it so you feel the need to do it as much as you feel the need to trip balls and jack off to horses. Or not, do it however you like. Getting things done is just about building habits and mental incentives. You'll be fine, man.

>>13596950
ugly feet can make a pretty girl look ugly but pretty feet can't make an ugly girl look pretty

>>13596979
Fair enough.

>>13596950
Shoes are a big deal in fashion and a lot of women pay a lot of attention to shoes. Also foot fetishes are incredibly common.

>>13597008
footfags deserve death and that's all it is

>>13596964
thanks for the kind words, fag

'ate
>Neck pain
>Rusty knees
>Hair loss
>No gf
Love
>Beer
Simple as

>>13596860
>Which is more important to you?
IDK. My goal this year is to stop being so antisocial, so going out with frens from Uni is a must and the girl situation is a plus, but at the same time I've been dying to try ayhuasca and it's something that I think I really need to do and that will help me to solve some problems, so it's a tough decision. But I guess I'm going to the bar thing, I just look at the weather prediction and is going to rain on friday, so that's a trip killer for me. Anyway, thanks frens :)

>>13593379
While still in the process of developing a cohesive narrative for this story of mine, I propose the following:
In this world , Evil or the capacity for evil doing is intrinsic to those who reside in it. As they were created with the seeds of conflict and an undeniable need to pursue and claim power, by any means, but mainly through struggle.
On the present day and age, death has become trivial, and long gone and forgotten are the spiritual rituals that ruled over life and death, so what was once a divine right to contest and seize said power, has now degenerated into the current niched ideals of good and evil, and the pointlessness of it all and those caught in the middle.

In the beginning , the primordial creator made the world out of his limbs and blood, bone and breath, and then slumbered forever, his people roamed the land, claiming power and becoming many of the first things that ever were, so they were known as the first, their time was that of the colossals.
Then followed the giants, with a heroic age where creation was almost complete after the roaming first started their quest for power, they were known as the seconds.
And lastly came mankind which separated from their divine origins, shrinking with each generation, sought out a different power within the confines of the mind, and became scholars and scribes and with time engineers and scientists, and they were known as the third.

And thats what I have for now. I still need an antagonist but Im leaning more towards an internal enemy, and their own degeneracy ultimately becoming their undoing.

You disgust me beyond words, you bull nose pierced big lipped bovine. The girls I know are so stupid. Their idiocy climbs to ridiculous levels of disgusting banality. Piercing every absurdity with each particle of filth and degeneracy.
In dreams there is a logic that is unquestionable. That is their logic all of the time.

My mind has become complacent. My body has become weak. It’s time to weaponise myself again, cultivate a higher consciousness that beats the dulled state of perception I am currently mired in. I wake up late every day and I go to bed late. I often work hours that further reinforce this habit, I’ll fix that. The drugs and masturbation have gotten into my head, latched on to me and incubated anxiety, depression and insecurity that makes my day-to-day life feel like a living torment. A nihilistic enamel has entrapped the individual within who always had the propensity to do something virtuous and great, to be a better person than the subhuman I have become.

how do i proceed with this asian chick who occasionally IMs me? I thought it was hopeless because she barely knows english and when i reply with some complex sentence she doesn't reply back.
But the other day she just sent me msgs after like 2 months. What makes it worse is that i'm a stinky 29 yr old neet with no social skills and if i had to go meet with her friend group or something i'll just fucking freeze in space. But i was watching this plump chinese qt playing flute on youtube and it really reminded me of her and that it could be my one chance to have a chink friend and simultaneously beat the unending dread of lonliness if only for a while. She's told me she goes to bible groups so theres that weird dread of her trying christian stuff on me too. I feel like i can't interpret this stuff because most of it falls in my autism blind spot so what do i do?
Should i bring up the chinese classical musicians that i admire... or that i really admire their novel mode of thought with phil etc... i don't want to shut her down with something too heavy... should i bring up fucking kung fu movies... god idk

I genuinely fail to understand the infatuation users on this board seem to have with the idea of becoming normalfags. The ease with which people succumb to social conditioning and internalize the lies that their self-worth ought to be tied to their job, appearance, ability to attract women, and social standing in general is really depressing. The only time I've ever felt bad about being a recluse or a wizard have been when other people have put me down for it. It's never come from myself nor from any of the things I've read or watched or played. Socially-induced envy is a horrible affliction. Our lives are already in full swing from the day we're born. There's no need to go and do shit we don't want to do just to "live life fully," unless of course that's what we actually want to do.

How the fuck are you supposed to come back from bitterness and cynicism?

>>13593379
I think I'm going to enlist.

>>13597447
I'm glad someone here understands this

>>13597481
Unless you want to be an infantryman make sure to study for the ASVAB and get a good score. It's not like the SAT, there's stuff on it you won't have learned from just paying attention in high school.

A few months ago I lamented that one day I'd die and wouldn't be around to enjoy not being alive anymore. It was the first time I've ever experienced existential dread.

>>13597505
What really depresses me is the number of people here who participate in the cancer while being themselves victims of it. Why would you tell someone who is looking for meaning in their life what to look for if you don't know them personally? Ask them what they want out of life and if they don't know help them figure it out! Life is too damn short to waste doing things you don't want to do and you won't hear anybody calling you a fag for not doing them when it's over.

>>13597447

>>13597620
See, this is exactly what I mean. I like yogurt. I mean I really fucking love yogurt, so much so that I get through three or four tubs a week. Should I tell everybody that they need to eat as much yogurt as me to be happy? Sure, they might like yogurt and sure they might be missing out, but isn't it their own prerogative to decide whether they really like it, or even want to try it at all? Maybe they don't like the way it smells or looks and just aren't interested in trying it. It's not my place to tell them what will make them happy. If someone's asking you how to be happy they're not really asking what makes you happy. They're asking for help understanding what will make them happy, or how to be happy at all.

If you're too lactose intolerant to eat yogurt you might as well just kill yourself.

These tendies are soggy!!!
Life truly is a sick joke.

If you think about it, nation states are prisons. They keep their citizens hostage and blackmail them into paying a racket (taxes) so they don't steal all your shit instead. And this applies to most world governments, not just clearly dystopian cunts like N. Korea or the U.K.

>>13593379
I think the technological singularity happened hundreds of years ago and we are fucked because people are too busy jacking off to the idea of a smart computer that talks to use like a person to ever think just maybe its technological intelligence wont act the same way a organic animals does.

>>13597822
Be careful. If you keep thinking like that Anarchist Santa might visit you and there's no giving back his gifts.

I feel unwanted in public society as an awkward, nerdy white man. Get so many side glances and bad looks when I'm out in public. Just want to be done with it all

>>13597936
Shoot some places up. Seems like the thing to do for someone in your position lel

>become therapist and try to help deal with mental health problems
>probably fulfilled but live a taxing life

>become teacher
>less fulfilled but easier life

any advice

>>13596641
You should (and certainly will) hate yourself 20 years from now for being such a little bitch.

>>13597544
Reality relies on consciousness, when you die other experiences will keep happening while you don't exist or experience time, eventually given the infinity of time you have your consciousness will arise again. Life is just Mr Bones' Wild Ride

Human reproduction would be a capital crime if there was any justice in the world

>>13593379
The only reason I every practice drawing is to draw a big titty monster girl OC that I'm too embarrassed/poor to commission. I will probably burn the note book of her that I keep hidden in my closet when I move out.

It's undeniable that my parents intentionally went out of their way to retard my emotion growth and cut off opportunities for independence so they could trap me in their religion. I can't ever forgive them for this. A fucking child shouldn't have been forced to play their sick games. They told me that they didn't want me to have too much self esteem or I might not listen to them anymore. And then they laughed it off. Every single Protestant in America needs to be lined up faced down in a ditch and stomped to death. Goddamn

>>13593379
>Write what's on your mind
24/7 only women, sex and companionship are on my mind and its driving me crazy, can hardly sleep, i wish there were a way to banish these pointless and irrational thoughts and urges
>>13598096
really, i always resented my parents for not being religious enough and wanting me to live a normal life
>>13597822
foucault was absolutely right about modern society
too bad everyone accuses you of being a leftist if you recognize that

>>13597984
Do you already have your psych bachelor's?

>say something stupid
>realize it’s stupid too late
>want to an hero
How do I stop this mentality?

>>13598096
>>13598108
I'm pretty thankful my parents raised me without religion for the most part, and only impressed religious stuff on me framed as mythology. My childhood fucked me up in other ways but every time I see someone who was raised religious struggling to deal with internalized guilt or existential terror or just having issues living in a world where they don't need gods to get along I'm really glad I've never had any of that baggage. Only thing I missed out on I think is the cultural context that comes with knowing all that Bible mumbo jumbo which makes some references harder to understand.

>>13598178
>struggling to deal with internalized guilt or existential terror
ive met a lot of religious people but ive never seen this in them or non religious people, non religious people tend to be more frustrated in my opinion because they dont have any comforting belief system behind them, but i wouldnt call it existential terror or guilt or something, maybe you are projecting your own inner musings when majority of people regardless of their beliefs are simple minded and without much worry
>having issues living in a world where they don't need gods to get along
the problem is the world outside, which means if religious paradigm were to be imposed on everyone else problem would be gone

Can’t sleep because I’m contemplating confronting a girl who pied me tomorrow and ask her what she’s playing at and if she’s not interested then why did she bother wasting my time and expressing interest for so long only to ghost me

Fucking sick of whores and slags man women are so insincere it actually fills me with hatred

>>13598281
Dude Butterfly is sucking on my cock right now thouggh :3

>>13598188
Really? Almost every Christian or former Christian I've met has struggled with feeling guilty over things they really don't need to feel guilty about and worries that they're not enjoying their life as much as they could for the sake of a god they're not sure they can sincerely believe in. We're not born religious so it should be much easier to just stop teaching it altogether. Once the seed of doubt is planted it rarely goes away.

If you ask me making a child do things he wouldn't normally do or not do things he normally would do by threatening him with eternal suffering and telling him he's intrinsically sinful is very clearly abusive, but it seems most of the world doesn't agree with me since they keep churning out religious headcases. It takes very serious pathology for otherwise reasonable people to subscribe to unreasonable beliefs without letting themselves be cognizant of their unreasonableness.

>>13598339
>Almost every Christian or former Christian I've met has struggled with feeling guilty over things they really don't need to feel guilty about
most christians i met were average people, although i must admit i dont have experience with protestants
>worries that they're not enjoying their life as much as they could for the sake of a god they're not sure they can sincerely believe in
sounds like a fucked up place, where the fuck do you live in?
>We're not born religious
were not born non religious either, we are born whatever our parents raise us in
>so it should be much easier to just stop teaching it altogether
thats not the way world works, i had some sociology classes back when i was younger and basically religion is integral part of human society
>Once the seed of doubt is planted it rarely goes away
most religious people have doubt, even non religious people doubt their beliefs, it doesnt mean anything
>If you ask me making a child do things he wouldn't normally do
thats called parenting anon
>by threatening him with eternal suffering and telling him he's intrinsically sinful is very clearly abusive
you dont tell such thinfs to kids, kifs cant comprehend theology, my religious teacher taught us in school that its harmful for kids in development to be taught too advanced religious stuff, but that it has to be on elvel they can understand, but then again i live in catholic place
>but it seems most of the world doesn't agree with me since they keep churning out religious headcases
most of religious people are not like that anon, you sound like you grew up around a crazy evangelical cult or something
>It takes very serious pathology for otherwise reasonable people to subscribe to unreasonable beliefs without letting themselves be cognizant of their unreasonableness
i presume you yourself are a judge of what is reasonable and whats not

>>13593379
Summerfags deserve to suffer.

Shitty fucking goddamn cuntrape.

>>13598362
America. The craziest of the protestants took refuge here a few hundred years ago and now all the other religions have to be at least as crazy to compete.
>we are born whatever our parents raise us in
No, your parents teach you stuff after you're born. A newborn child's only gods are his own immediate needs. Philosophy and reasoning are integral to the human experience, but religion, that is, faith, is not. It's just the philosophy and reasoning of some long-dead thinkers that happened to survive because people in power found it useful for controlling people.

Clearly you're from a much less religious place where people aren't under constant pressure to reaffirm their faith and incessant petitioning to join churches which are for many people the only grounding social network available. The fire and brimstone and original sin and eternal hellfire thing is a pretty standard part of growing up Christian in America. You gotta get them young before they can start thinking for themselves ya know. The whole country is institutionalized.

As for the reasonable thing the whole point of faith is that it's not reasonable. That's why it's faith. You have to be taught to be religious. Religious arguments aren't supposed to hold up to logical scrutiny. From an Abrahamic perspective at least.

>>13598415
>No, your parents teach you stuff after you're born
and that includes atheism/nonbelief/whatever too
>A newborn child's only gods are his own immediate needs
but as time goes on we grow to be able to have abstract thoughts
>Philosophy and reasoning are integral to the human experience, but religion, that is, faith, is not
that contradicts what ive learned in sociology classes
>It's just the philosophy and reasoning of some long-dead thinkers that happened to survive because people in power found it useful for controlling people
thats rather a simplification
>Clearly you're from a much less religious place where people aren't under constant pressure to reaffirm their faith
im from central europe and a more religious part of it and people have targeted me for not having orthodox religious beliefs in my life
>incessant petitioning to join churches which are for many people the only grounding social network available
where i live theres only 2 real churches - catholic and orthodox (which are pseudo-ethnic), rest are just considered weird cults
>The fire and brimstone and original sin and eternal hellfire thing is a pretty standard part of growing up Christian in America
it seems rather counterproductive and like something people with issues would do, most strict christians usually take the time to explain why are some commandments important in a way approachable to everyday people
>You gotta get them young before they can start thinking for themselves ya know
you are aware of irony of this statement, right? most atheists become atheists while young under influence of atheist personalities or their parents
>The whole country is institutionalized
i thought america is very diverse religiously and rather secular, my country is almost 90% catholic
>As for the reasonable thing the whole point of faith is that it's not reasonable
different religions have different argumentation and reasoning, its pretty egoistic to think that you with your limited perspective can judge them for which is right and which is not so lightheartedly
>You have to be taught to be religious
you also have to be taught to be non religious
>Religious arguments aren't supposed to hold up to logical scrutiny
they pretty much are, or at least they are suppsosed to be, most christians arent like evangelicals, everyone else religious or non religious think that eveangelicals are crazy cultists

>>13598131
No it's an unrelated bachelors but I think I can still get into the counseling program

I can't stop thinking about the immense relief that would be found in carrying out a mass shooting.

That an argument in support of the idea that if France had amounted a reasonable opposition to Germany in WWII so that the war would've likely ended earlier should be construed as an unsubstantiated assumption with an air of pro war sentiment is utterly ludicrous and I deplore ignorance

>>13598609
Please reach out to someone for help anon. Talk to a friend, a therapist, anyone my friend.

>>13593379
The fact that humanity places too much value on natural body traits is both obviously apparent and a popular opinion, although we'll still continue to do it anyways. I'm 6'7", and I get compliment on my height all the time even though I did nothing to actually earn that height, I just naturally grew that tall.

But what I think people overvalue but don't realize that they're overvaluing is talent. Now, to be clear, I don't believe that all the great athletes and geniuses of the world didn't have to work hard to obtain their accolades, and chalking up all of your failures to genetic determinism is an incredibly unhealthy view to have as it prevents self-improvement. However, there can also be no doubt as to the major role genetics plays in natural ability. Michael Phelps would never have won so many gold Olympic medals if his body was not naturally and genetically inclined to be fantastic for the purposes of swimming. Many would-be Olympic swimmers who put in just as much, and possibly more effort than Michael Phelps in their training and swimming competitions will never make it to the Olympics because of bad genetic luck.

This, I suppose, is why I have come to view the soul of a man as being the ultimate judge of his worth. Of course humanity cannot look into the soul of a man, we are only human and we only see what's on the outside. But it has made me appreciate God all the more because of it, since as the Bible say, God does not see as men see, he sees the hearts of men.

>>13596933
You there?

>>13596857
You can do and be whatever you want as long as you don't hurt others, get a job, and become self sufficient.

>Ben Shapiro is a genius
A friend of mine told me that a few weeks back, I'm so ashamed of being too dumb to attract smart friends. How the hell do I meet smart people? I live in Western Europe we're not supposed to be as retarded as Americans.

>>13595486
>Wyndham Lewis said that Dementia is (effectually) merely a chronic(or perpetual) and violent scepticism.
You're not my wife;-- my wife is a Vorticist. WHO are YOU. WHAT are YOU doing on MY timeline? This will not stand. I am the APE of GOD -- BEHOLD me YE mighty and TREMBLE

>>13598998
kekeke, made me laugh anon, thanks :)

>misspoke at dinner
>dad and the gay couple from the country club laughed at me

I'm trying to get into literature, poetry and philosophy but I read things and just don't understand it. I tried to read Story of the Eye and some of Visions of Excess but I didn't get any of the super deep and esoteric philosophies. Maybe it's too advanced to start with... I want to be smarter bros what do I do..

>>13598132
Continue on without looking back. Only focus on saying not stupid things.

>>13597998
Why?

>>13598440
>and incessant petitioning to join churches which are for many people the only grounding social network available
In my part of America, being part of a church is as compulsory as being part of the communist party in cold war Poland. You simply can't advance in life without kow-towing to the church.

Actually all of America is this way; my region is dominated by the religious conservative Cathedral, but I don't think they are much better than the liberal secular Cathedral, at least from my limited experience.

I'm going to kill myself in the next few months

>>13593379
Funeral Parade of Roses is a great film

>>13599208
Isn't that the one where the crossdresser murders his mom and has his dad fuck him?

brbr brr brrb brr car brbrbrbbrrb zooom brbrbr

>>13596949
Funeral parade of roses
Japanese new wave film
It's amazing

>>13599205
Nevermind, one hot shower and a coffee later and I'm good to go

>>13599395
a picture for ants?

>>13593379
It's a really shit time to turn wizard.

>>13599468
Are you really?

>>13599486
Few more days and then I hold the title of wizard.

It's not just the impending wizardhood that's getting me down though.

>>13599516
Good for you. Let us know what magic powers you obtain. What else has got you down?

>>13599535
Kind of hard to break things down when everything is wrong with life.

I mean, where do you start?

Food that has a cold solid outside, and liquid hot inside

I love to be alone, all on my own in my room, reading or listening to music, I know I can't be a neet because my family is poor so I need to get my shit done, I'm currently in college, but I don't want to study, I don't like going outside or going to college, I don't have any friends and I can't fit in with the normies in college but it doesn't affect me, I wish I could live in a cabin in the woods, with my dog and living by agriculture, selling the vegetables of my little farm, away from the chaotic city rush and society...
I want to leave my city, I want to see other faces, other days, other cultures, but even though I love being alone I'm afraid I'll never find a true love, I'm afraid I'll never find a girl to share some things in common, some books, some music, some life...
Responsibility makes me sick, I just want to stay home on my bed, away from everyone, away from eyesight, but unfortunately i am alive and being alive makes us pursue things we don't want to do just to survive

>>13599658
J-justin?

>>13594961
How about not taking your meds and changing up your fucking life in a way in which you feel you're doing something for a purpose.

>>13599516
I only have a couple months left, godspeed brother.

>>13596274
Bro, I don't know about you but I still keep in contact with my most important childhood friends.

>>13598609
You wouldn't find relief, only the las gasp of your soul as it vanishes out of existence forever, followed by the immense horror of the abyss.

>>13599682
You too dude.

>>13599535
I'll give you a memory instead of things wrong with my life:

>Coming home from work in the late evening in my shabby uniform and my cheap Shoe Zone shoes
>Train station I walk into is mostly empty
>Head down the stairs which lead to the platform
>Before I reach the second flight of stairs I can hear the train arrive but I don't run because I'm too tired
>A mass of people pool at the bottom of the stairs and start heading up them
>All of them covered in splotches of brightly coloured powder having returned from some event, all of them in high spirits
>So there's me, trying to get to the platform, down the stairs, to get home and the happy mass of brightly coloured people going in the opposite direction, up the stairs to wherever happy people go
>Train journey is barely any different since I'm the only one in dark clothes

>>13593379
>tfw all 12 threads you reported yesterday are now gone

:^)

>>13599384
Yes

>>13593448
I can relate to this. I went on vacation for a week a while ago. Couldn't fap because I shared an airbnb. I was surrounded by qt3.14159s every day. My libido went to the fucking moon and if I wasn't such an ugly cunt I would've fucked every hoe in sight.
>inb4 nice blogpost

Took a couple days off from reading Gravity's Rainbow, not by choice mind you and now I can't find the will to go back to it. It's not that I haven't enjoyed my time with it, it's just that leap back into it is a big one.

"If you try to imagine, as nearly as you can, what an amount of misery, pain and suffering of every kind the sun shines upon in its course, you will admit that it would be much better if, on the earth as little as on the moon, the sun were able to call forth the phenomena of life; and if, here as there, the surface were still in a crystalline state."

>>13599814
hell yeah brother, I think I need to see this movie now

Salt, sugar, fat. I’m such a slave to cravings. Indulgence offers unconsciousness. Petty pleasures are within my grasp, innumerable consumables. Throwing morsels into the void. Do I miss her body or her company? My miss. Miss is so replaceable, there’s creatures crawling everywhere. Desirables are not on dating apps, though I'm sure there's two or three luscious leaves on chilly trees. Be careful not to let your body go, worse comes to worse I'll starve. They want security more than sex, I just want a sublime mind. How can one be content without desire? Who can topple framework into the fire? Status, power. Time withering away, prolonged weekends poison me. Free time will be my downfall, I wish I was a slave. Freedom weighs upon my soul, like Atlas wields the world, part and parcel with its possibilities. Who were my ancestors? Have any broken the veil of obscurity? My mind is master, but not masterful. It garners worthless currency. And what do shekels buy? Status and security, comfort and complacency. Give me everlasting ecstasy. Sometimes breathing is enough. Fear of pain, disfiguration, dismemberment, diminishing the whole. But I am not whole. Why was there so much blood? Death and harm possess a certain charm, exciting when I feel alarm. Certainty dulls intricacies, what could be florid just falls flaccidly. You’re a monkey! You’ve abandoned trees for hierarchies, but they bear sweeter fruit. Build more walls or tear them down! These half baked barriers frustrate me. What on earth is music? I’d like to know if original thoughts exist, or if all thoughts are simply syntheses of data’s chance encounters. I see why they do it. Why they knock back brews and look at screens, breathe vapour in and chase green paper, woo a wife and plant some kids on purchased acres. To serve society or not? Preen and polish the lump of clay that is your existence. Why does my unconscious terrorize me? Take a look at what you are, observe and understand. Do not allow repugnance to bury the unsightly with soil, for fatuous filler obfuscates the mind’s eye view, and smothered seeds still germinate. Remember at the crossroads? You saw the light shine true! You said you had some books to read, and slid back into the loo.

If you could wrap up a dream and show it to other people, would you put your signature on it? Does the line of authenticity get drawn between the active brain and the passive brain over control of the creative flow?

Flesh.

I just realized that I'm no better than normalfags that listen to pop/rap trash. I've been listening to nothing but anime OPs, happy trance and EDM to cheer me up recently, which is just as meaningful as pop/rap.

>Finnegan's Wake

>>13600020
Filmmaking can come close. David Lynch does pretty well at it.

>>13600762
I know a lot of people who would consider Lynch an inauthentic creator, probably for this exact reasoning

>>13594961
Eat a fist-full of Benadryl...

>>13596857
I lost my virginity at 21. You'll be fine if you acknowledge your flaws and find the motivation to overcome them.

>>13596699
Offer her Ayhuasca sex

>>13600020
Im currently animating a dream I had. Its really fun.

>>13600817
I don't want to have sex with some hag. I want to have a daughterwife and elope with her. I'm working towards that slowly.

>>13600687
The difference here is that it's a conscious choice of yours instead of not knowing any better. I wouldn't be so concerned about others anyway

1/2

My mom has breast cancer.

I found out the day I left university earlier this summer, my last summer holidays before finishing my course. I thought it would be the most laid back summer of my life, working at McDonalds through half of it so I could earn enough money, then quit and just chill and kick it with my friends and gf all summer long.
It's been one of the most stressful weeks of my life.
My mother is a single mom. My sister is 17 and battling depression since she was 13. I don't speak to her anymore, I haven't been able too in years. She just spends all her time in her room watching shows and animes.Everytime I try to talk to her it becomes so frustratingly hard, so fucking impossible because it seems the little girl I used to play with when I was young no longer lives inside that teenager. I know I'm wrong but I can't bring myself to talk to her about anything other than superficial shit because I become filled with dread of what I'm not sure exactly.

But going back to my mom, the curious thing was that the day before the biopsy that confirmed the tumor, I took one hit of LSD with a buddy of mine. I don't usually do this but it was the last day of the semester, I felt good, the year went great even if it was too hard at times, I had a great exchange program set up for the following year; basically, I was in a good place to take an introspective trip, as I do when it seems I'm at a crossroads in life.
The trip was mostly uneventful but when I was coming down I got a call from my mom. I rejected it at first as I usually do, thinking that I'm my own independent strong man big dicking my way through university all alone. But then I remembered she had that important exam the following day. I called, and she was demonstrably nervous, she even admitted to taking an anxiety pill of my sisters', which I found very odd because my mom never gets inebriated on any substance, not like his asshole son. Anyway, her superficially confident but somewhat amiss voice, her confession to taking the pill, the acid vibes in brain and the fact that I was having a real conversation with my mom for the first time in weeks made me realize how hopelessly alone she was, oh how utterly terrified she must have been! How lonely must that night have been for my mother, a night in which I was tripping balls like some kind of degenerate son far away in university ! How inhumane and ladder like earth shattering must be to go from exam to exam alone all the while her own mother is dying (she had recently had a stroke which left her severely impaired and demented) and her own FUCKING SON doesn't return her calls.

These thoughts came to me while she was telling me this meaningless story about my aunt, a funny and uplifiting story but all the time my mind was circling around those thoughts. And sitting in a dark eating room of my dormitory at midnight, looking out the window to the empty streets, listening to this meaningless tale in a voice that I knew so well yet was so strange at the moment, with my head exhausted from the acid but making the right connections that I'd immeadiately shun away on cue in a sober state, I swear a single tear came out of my eye and I swore never to let my mom get this lonely again. I won't let her die alone, if it has to come to that. I love her so much.

Fappy the penguin went to taco town to get some fresh-grown yakisoba; xe needed to shart entrails to please Mantabu, the burrtango-shaped demiurge of unfathomable boredom. BORED BORED BORED. Frustrated too.

Writer's block sucks. I'm a composer and lyricist for a metal group and everything I've written recently is just rambling shit. I think turning 30 recently has softened my edginess. Either that or I've exhausted every angle from my current view on the world and need to reach even lower levels of depravity to get some fresh material. Pic related is my current mental state.

>>13600780
Inauthentic? I'd consider those people retards, as Lynch is one of the most authentic filmmakers out there.

>>13597984
Are those your only options? Fuck.

>>13601532
If his creative flow is just an unhinged fire hose straight from his subconscious to the screen without passing through his brain for a moment of contemplation, is he an artist or a living soul? If the contents of my soul are ugly and boring, can I create art by doing the opposite — thinking and planning and designing — or is it a requisite to make good art for it to come from the id?
In this way I tend to think Lynch's work is a little "thoughtless" which is unappealing to me and feels "inauthentic." The sincerity is less at question.

I might have done it this time. I turned in my financial aid papers weeks late, and so I may not have the money needed to pay my uni dues. When I ask myself why I'm like this, the truth is, I really don't know. I guess I want the world to stop turning.

>>13599387
thanks yo

>>13601665
>If his creative flow is just an unhinged fire hose straight from his subconscious to the screen without passing through his brain for a moment of contemplation
It isn't. He is much more in tune with his subconscious than the vast majority of artists, but that doesn't mean his art is thoughtless.
And I can't understand at all what it is you mean by "inauthentic", exactly.

>>13601564
Give some other ideas friend, I’m open to change and it would be much appreciated

im thirsty for experiences. i have accepted i will always be who i am, i will always be a nebbish neurotic fuckwad, but i can be an experienced one. i want to grow the well of self from which my writing draws from. i want to join the army, or navy, or coast guard, or else travel. i can't decide which or to where. i have become obsessed with reading the biographies of writers and comparing myself to them, usually unfavorably, and looking with concern at the young ages they were already accomplishing things as i watch my own clock run down. i am young, but i feel old. i am behind. i need to take drastic action. now's the time to act.

Dr Peterson tells me to clean up my room, but what if I'm scared of the bugs I'll find?

>>13593379
I fapped to some degenerate shit, reminding me why I'm a lonely retard.

>>13601867
I'd argue that you fapped to some degenerate shit BECAUSE you're lonely, not the other way around.

>>13597984
Option: become a teacher then do volunteer and/or supplementary mental health work. Bonus: you can up the intensity of the mental health work if you have off in the summer due to teacher's hours.

>>13601865
fuck the bugs to establish dominance and get rid of the fear

>>13598440
Uh, people aren't born believing in things, pal. You can't "teach" a lack of belief where there was no belief in the first place. I don't know who taught you sociology but "the human experience" or whatever anon means is a concern of philosophy and psychology, not sociologists. Dunno if the word you mean to be using in Polish means something else but what English-speakers call sociology has nothing to do with that stuff. Also most atheists live in Asia where the religions tend to be non-dogmatic and in many cases non-theistic too. They certainly aren't taught not to believe in gods. Gods are just understood to be figures of folklore, or at worst superstition.

>>13601207
I want to hear your music. I don't see enough people here who actually listen to metal.
What kind of bands do you like? Are there any lyricists and poets in particular you like?

Precautionary bump

>>13593379
I am still angry about a dream I once had, one that you wouldn’t fault somebody for mistaking for reality; it was one of those rare dreams that every, every sensation was excruciatingly vivid, and the memory upon awaking could be as easily as real as the day before. But why would one of these pleasurable dreams become a source of anger for me? I’m sure the astute among you could guess, that this pleasure I felt within the confines of sleep, was one absent to me in wakefulness, or more simply, I am a lone soul that felt love and remembered the joy of having it, only then being wrenched back into the state of lacking.
One ought to dwell on other things. But, O! How can I forget my sweet deity! I exaggerate, of course, but I feel a true love for that passion I had felt. I perhaps should make clear, that this wasn’t a sexual dream – though sexuality is implied in love, not always; not always, must it be.

>>13596857
enlist in the military

>>13597527
i actually have a college degree but i got a 2.8 GPA.

My flesh is my enemy. I'm tired of fighting.

>>13599832
what is this meme from? one of the slaps on /o/ has the crow in it.
>>13599991
stop eating like shit for 2 weeks and the cravings will stop.

>>13599991
based

Thinking about going back on antidepressants. I thought they weren't helping when I quit them a few months ago and am kind of regretting the decision. Maybe see if I can an SNRI this time

I find that we often believe in a conspiracy, a sort of materialism, that we have each other. We only have ourselves. There is something in us that does not agree when we are told that we should lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We have lost our knowledge of our powers, our passions that can be rediscovered in aesthetic. We live in a perpetual hallucination. We have taken a spiritual bridge and now have a false identity. We must find it again by abandoning what the Archons have set for us. They do not have love, and creativity while we have passion and a will that can one day eat of the hidden manna and have our new names written on our white stones. We apparently will never achieve this Magnum Opus because of the lie that we do not have spiritual individuality.

I'm about to go to sleep, but I've been thinking about this quite a bit recently. All my life, I have consistently encountered feelings of déjà rêvé. I've never felt that I've seen or physically experienced moments before, but I get the strong and distinct sense that I've dreamt them. It's never about long passage of time, only episodes of a few seconds, and there's always a specific trigger. A few days ago I was talking with my mother and she said the phrase "special someone." At that moment, an ant scuttled along the floor in the bottom left of my vision. Combined, these two events triggered my déjà rêvé. I wonder what causes this, and why it always seems that I've dreamt something before rather than lived it. Like I said it's happened for as long as I can remember.

>>13598281
As you get more perspective on what it's like to be a woman you will realise how hilariously easy it is for them to do this because of how "small" you are in relation to them and their other options, on their mental horizon. You, in their mind, are not remotely like they are in your mind. You're not a full person for them. You're one of fifteen guys they could have or might have led along, expressed interest in, flirted with, flirted with the idea of flirting with, etc., in a four hour span that day.

Never confront a woman. Can't tell you how many times I did this when I was younger and now I look back on every one of them, not so much with embarrassment, but with "why did I bother?" When girls ghosted me after we had really great times or things were going great, and I messaged them acting like it was some big deal. It wasn't, for them. I should have known I was one of five options they were flirting around with, and they either got bored of me for some hidden reason they might not even be aware of, or something better came along, or something better came back into their lives, or a dozen other things. Any mild perturbation in their mental horizon can completely bury you and your chances.

A young woman is the most important person in the world at this point. If you want to play that game, go for it, but don't be stupid and not understand how rigged it is against you.

>Beneath the Earth is your humanity
>They will sleep an eternity

Does a legacy mean eternal life?

After I read a thread intended for solidarity of racist, I have a impression that they are seeking for the opponent to exlpain themselves to themselves, for their identification to themselves. Now I'm worried if people "misinterpret" this-or my?-post because of my terrible grammar and lack of clearness(is that a word?) in my writing. And I can't even specify the unclearness, which I used "even" to convey my low self esteem, which comes from my self expectation, that if I can't be a good boy, at least I should explain the way I supposed to do, to prove others that at least I know what I'm supposed to be:a good boy. And I'm silently proud that I used proper commas for a long sentence becaude long sentence requires the clearness.

I kinda miss being an edgy punk teen. I was so full of rage and fire and spunk. Now I'm an assimilated adult.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E-hiT13_wo

I'm beginning to think that it might be best for the average, normal folk to be some form of religious. Maybe not the managerial classes, but definitely the middle and lower classes. Things just work better that way and people are much happier in close knit communities than alienated gesselschaft societies. I'm increasingly sympathetic to the plight of Dostoyevsky's "Grand Inquisitor"

Why isn't there anyone sharing a book?. Do you copy?

#20190807 JAPÓN BALANZA DE PAGOS - Japón registró un superávit corriente de 88.027 millones de euros entre enero y junio - EFE
http://tridejur.uy/t123.php?id=2327298&alta=2019-08-07%2022:22:00

I screamed so hard because I couldn't focus. I have to focus and I can't, I have to plan and I can't, I have to find purpose and I can't, I have to be happy and I can't. How do I stop being a coward?

Just kiss her, remember do not ask, just invite her to a quiet place, tell her you have a surprise, buy her a flower and kiss her

There is something in us that does not agree when we are told that we should lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We have lost the knowledge of our individualistic prowess that can only be rediscovered in the aesthetic. We have taken a spiritual bridge and now have a false identity. We have love, creativity, passion and a will that can one day eat of the hidden manna and have our new names written on our white stones. We apparently will never achieve this Magnum Opus because of the lie that we do not have spiritual individuality. Once we establish that we have this spiritual individuality we can then begin to establish a harmonious relationship with it and the sensuous. Then the totality of the transformations of the themes we find in this realm like the aforementioned conspiracy but also the paranoia that we suffer from with as a result of it will then take refuge within us and transcend us into an infinite spirituality.

>>13602329
Black metal, mostly. But really I like anything that isn't just pop drivel dressed up as metal. The new Deathspell Omega and Kriegsmashine are good in terms of well-known artists. Wiegedood has a surprising amount of compositional and lyrical depth for their simplicity. The band just named "VI", from France, is spectacular, especially if you can read French. Aosoth is good; they don't publish lyrics but their worldview isn't exactly a secret. Clandestine Blaze, the newest Grey Heaven Fall, Blaze of Perdition, and "Awe" (from Greece) all have good lyrical depth. But that all betrays my more occult/Satanic leanings. What do you like? Any new stuff out there you'd recommend for my tastes?

I think good old fashion religious texts and post-Kantian continental philosophy are hard to beat for inspiration. Hegel can be pretty ruthless, and of course Nietschze. But as I've gotten older I've grown particularly fond of surrealist fiction and essays, and Lovecraft, as lyrical content, if it's done with an appropriate amount of depth (e.g., more than just chanting Elder God names and other vapid shit like that). Speaking of Lovecraft the newish sub-field in metaphysics called "Weird Realism" is interesting. Also Jung and the like. William James has some startlingly bleak conclusions that make for good accompaniment to atmospheric compositions.

I saw my oneitis at a church meeting earlier this week. Whenever she's in the room, all of my focus is fixed on her. Her perfectly braided brown bowl cut hair, her large sad eyes, and her downturned smile. I still do love her, or at least carnally desire her. I don't think that's a wrong way to feel. I was so stupid then, I didn't know who I was or how lucky I was to be with her. Deep in my heart I still have hope we can get back together, but...

I don't know if I'm the man she needs to be who she ought to be. I don't want to waste her time or put her through a tumult that won't profit in the end. Religion comes between us again, the main reason we broke up. I'm not so easily swindled by the world's ideologies as I once was but I know I can't truly believe in the way she does, not would I honestly even want to (or feel that I ought to). Seeing her again breaks my heart and reminds me of what could have been, or maybe even what in all rights *ought* to have been. She is named after one of the Greek muses of comedy; she, unlike no other has shown me the truth of tragedy

>>13603990
Are you, for any number of various reasons, fighting against either your own personal nature or human nature? I used to feel exactly like you, and only after disciplined and brutally honest self-reflection did I realize how much I was fighting against my own personal nature, and it some cases, against reality itself. For instance, I was told that I needed to go into STEM and not the humanities in order to be financially successful, and finances meant happiness. Of course I would have initially told myself that was the case, but it took me awhile to internalize those sorts of truths fully.

>>13603910
Only in the minds of others.

Tell me the best work of philosophy, or philosophy-inspired fiction, that you've read this year.

Where is my headlamp? the hardhats have no room for the band it will slip off the top and slide off the back like an impotent firework.

What time is it? the owl meat is disgusting!

Sledgehammer days have cooked my noggin in to a bumpy block of cement! Take away the weekend? stop don't do that

im going on a walk

>>13599658
this is me. like exactly me

>>13601079
I lost my mom four years ago. We talked at least once a week, even about nothing, you just gotta do it man - she wants to know what’s going on in your life. I always shared a lot with her and I think she was proud of me. Miss her

I don't think I'm a real person anymore. I kind of just wake up, exist for a few hours, without a thought or emotion before going back to unconsciousness. I am unable to be touched by anything nor do I try to pursue anything. I eat when I'm hungry, pee when I need to, chuckle, sit, zone out, I don't have goals, don't desire anything, don't wish to speak, don't wish to exert myself, don't want to think, or feel or move or experience. I want turning to a ghost and I have little reluctance to prevent it from happening.

I am alone in my featureless white box. I have made no lasting friends, atleast not in the kind that freely exchange their thoughts on nothing and everything. I am not the person people excitedly share their day with. I wish I was.
I am alone atleast, pondering and withering my youth in bed when I am not with her. Yet I do not pity my condition. I take steps to change it each and every day. A message of outreach to countless names, simple things. Veiled attempts at genuine conversation met only cursory interpretation of my intended meaning. So I sit, I read, I learn, I create, I talk to her, I talk absently to them, and I wait.

>>13604102
I haven't so I can't anon

my big toe hurts slightly and I don't know why

Don't we always write what's on our minds when we write? Or is this just asking what we think of unprompted, atleast not in a way we consciously understand

>>13593379
I really hate minorities, and I'm having a really good day

>>13593862
Very nice post and I think about that a lot.

>>13603478
Depending on the branch and recruitment needs you might actually still be able to get into OCS with a 2.8. There's never any harm in sending in a packet. That's if you want to be an officer of course. Whether the extra pay is worth not getting to do is for each person to decide on his own.

>>13603478
Depending on the branch and recruitment needs you might actually still be able to get into OCS with a 2.8. There's never any harm in sending in a packet. That's if you actually want to be an officer of course. Whether the extra pay is worth not getting to do a real job is for each person to decide on his own.

>>13604061
A long while ago I fell into Ne Obliviscaris and Saor and I haven't been able to get out. I think Xenoyr's lyrics are good, but NeO's songs themselves just seem, for lack of a non pretentious term, erhabenheit. Not gonna lie, I like the sound of Deathspell Omega. I'll have to listen to all of these band's discography over the next few months.

I'm personally partial to Borges in my own writing. I've been told that my writing can be surrealist, though it seems to naturally take on comedic elements.

>>13604160
who is her

>>13604102
I haven't read a book since 2005

>>13600817
this

>>13600687
lol dude listening to music isnt a fucking competition

>>13593379
suckin and fuckin

>>13603945
This. though I was only an edgy punk in my mind.

>>13599658
what is the best advice for someone like this?

Why can't all of /lit/ be cozy and wholesome like some of the posts ITT

Hegel isn't wrong but he should still be posthumously executed for crimes against humanity

>>13603871
I get this sometimes. Rarely enough to not think about it much, but I remember them. Just little moments.

>>13599658
My life distilled in a 4chan post.

#20190808 AEROPUERTO BARCELONA - Los empleados de Trablisa votan hoy si desconvocan la huelga en El Prat - EFE
http://tridejur.uy/t123.php?id=2337785&alta=2019-08-08%2004:12:00

>>13593379
What a truly redpilled image.

Thanks

Too bad it is me only and too good to be true

Japs have some of our most welcome


#20190808 ESPECIAL DE POBLACIÓN Y DESARROLLO - Parlamento Uruguayo
http://tridejur.uy/t123.php?id=2257005&alta=2019-08-08%2010:00:00

I believe the trajectory of our life is mostly decided by our genetics and upbringing. It can veer a little, go through some loops and detours, but it will never truly stray from its set destination.

What this means to me is that there is no ultimate truth, no philosophy that everyone can eventually subscribe to, but just different thought frameworks constructed to regulate the vessels we've been given. And though we may sometimes think we've truly changed, fated to lead an entirely different life due to some revelation or newly acquired knowledge, some radical philosophy book, some thought in the night, the truth is that we know we always return to the same place after all, whether it's a day, a week, or a year later, we are powerless before the reality of which we are part of, in our bodies, in our minds, in our thoughts.

I went through uni on a scholarship. I'm doing an extra follow-up programme starting next semester that is not covered by it. I have a job to keep me sort of afloat already, but as I only get few hours I applied for a second one. It could take a little while until I start though, and it's fueling my paranoia about my wealth. I'm not a big spender and I got savings, but I'm always afraid some accident is going to happen where I'll have to spend a bunch of money on. Yesterday I was pretty bummed about it, today I'm doing a better job of seeing it as an opportunity to embrace. I'll keep an eye out for day jobs and maybe I'll finally register for a translation/editing website. If you anons have any other ideas on how to earn a bit of money on the side, come at me.

>>13605006
It's strange isn't it? Everything goes along normally, and then all of a sudden you're hit with the inexplicable feeling that you've dreamt this moment before. I must say it is somewhat exciting. I wonder if its causes are similar to those of déjà vu

Lost my virginity last week. Whole experience was great, but I haven't been thinking clearly since then and its difficult to focus on things besides sex; frankly, it feels like I'm on drugs. Is this shit normal? She has been feeling the same way and we are both adults, so no hormonal teenager excuses.

>another 6 reported threads are gone by the time I wake up

feels good

Would it be cringe to ask my twin sister for dating advice?

Why do I feel evil if I don't have a coherent mode of morality in the first place?

If your life is not in order and you feel depressed, that is reality telling you to man up and clean your room.
You have a shitty life/lifestyle and you wonder why you are feeling so awful?
Its like a mother wondering why she's so sad when her daughter is crushed by a truck in front of her.
Well, of course you are going to be sad, dumbass.

Depression should be reserved for people who have everything going for them, and yet they are incapable of feeling happy.
A successful academic, with a loving family and friends, healthy body and good neighborhood but feeling sad is depressed.
Some virgin who hates himself, his parents and friends, unhealthy body, living in a shitty neighborhood and have no skills don't get to claim they are a victim of depression.

>>13605500
Just because it's not coherent, doesn't mean it's absent

>>13605071
where do you live?

>>13605526
Western Europe.

I've developed
an acute sense of haiku
for this, I'm happy

Greetings. I am looking for a maybe scientific, maybe philosophical work, which satisfies two fairly weird conditions.

1) It was probably written around 1850-1870.

2) The leitmotif is that nothingness of any kind cannot be descibed, as the act of description essentially substitutes something in place of nothingness it is meant to describe, and thus constitutes an act of deceit (passing fiction for actual reality). All of that - quite possibly, with heavy anti-field-theoretic ramifications.

I really love my boyfriend and I want to sleep with his husband. It's a dilemma because I want to persue it but with permission. If I ask for permission it looks like I'm assuming that it's guaranteed. Sort of treating the husband as an object.
Also, if it's a no then it might get super awkward when we hang out.

>>13605623
P.S. In any case, it absolutely HAS to be written before 1880. Anything relevant comes to mind?

I am also interested in the history of downfall of perpetuum mobile doctrine and the establishment of early versions of law of conservation of energy. Is there any protracted, self-consistent, work on perpetuum mobiles, written before 1780, which, you think, might've been ultimately responsible for shifting consensus on them to the strictly negative side? Maybe, come to think of it, through employment of reduction to absurdity.

Again, it has to be a book about perpetuum mobiles, not about energy. At least, not initially. And it HAS to be written before 1780. Anything comes to mind?

>>13605623
I'm not sure exactly but it sounds like you're describing a perspective fairly genial to "back to Kant!"-era/neo-Kantian structural phenomenalism, which was still typically agnostic with reference to the ding an sich but proto-pragmatist in its operating assumption that our descriptions of phenomena are increasingly adequate, or at least that we adjust them to be maximally adequate. You might look into Mach and Boltzmann, maybe Helmholtz too, and the epistemological/ontological debates over emerging conceptions of energy. There was no consensus between 1820~ and Einstein's time (and beyond, really) regarding the ontological status of whatever was being mapped and modeled by the new sciences of energy, waves, particles and so forth. So there was an unusually high degree of reflexivity in making ontological commitments, a relatively high awareness of the dangers of hypostatizing a model etc.

I remember seeing earnest proposals of a neo-corpuscularism, almost as if the universe were made of little interlocking gears, by some major pioneering energy theorist ca. 1850, complete with diagrams and everything. I was strongly reminded of the search for a new mechanics in the 16th and 17th centuries and how anything and everything was "on the table," a real search for first principles. But again, not sure if this relates to what you're asking.

>>13605637
Check out "The Show That Never Ends: Perpetual Motion in the Early Eighteenth Century," Simon Schaffer. Worth mining the footnotes for both secondary and primary literature.

Why can't I spoiler where I want to?

>>13605773
Thank you for all the information.

>>13605773
>earnest proposals of a neo-corpuscularism, almost as if the universe were made of little interlocking gears, by some major pioneering energy theorist ca. 1850, complete with diagrams and everything
Any chance you could try to remember who that was?

Can you please, please, please, please, please fuck off from my dreams? It was the fourth time this morning. I wake up, with my heart fluttering from hope, only to feel my body become dead inside in a matter of secconds

I keep having dreams that take place in my town but with the area off to the northwest replaced with more fantastical scenery (in reality this area is undeveloped and rather boring). It is fairly consistent between dreams as well, I want to explore it but I do not know how to (how can you consciously explore a product of your unconscious?)

>>13604638
Oh yeah, Borges. Been getting back into short stories. Bradbury, Ted Chiang, already mentioned Lovecraft. Have you read any Ausubel or Bertino? I like that kind of stuff recently for lyrics as I said above.

Oh man I haven't listened to NeOb in a while. Time to spin.

>>13604638
I'm this guy: >>13606007

Forgot to ask you to share an excerpt of your surrealistness

This whole Epstein case really shines a light on the whole notion of Jewish nepotism. I don't consider myself antisemitic at all, but looking at how he was propped up and supported by Les Wexner and influential lawyers like Alan Dershowitz "shonda for di goyim" --a bad show for the gentiles. It's hard not to believe there isn't some nepotistic back scratching going on.

And to think how much his misbehaviors and indiscretions were covered up, overlooked, excused, points more toward the exculpatory power of wealth. But the ethnic loyalties Jews have for one another means they do form a independent power bloc. I don't think there is anything wrong with this, it's natural to keep a good thing going and to look out for one's own. But it's also to see why outsiders might see it as suspicious.

>>13606106
they *really* aren't helping themselves by circling the wagons like that. It's going to blow up in their face big time, I guarantee you. Same thing as the Leo Frank case one hundred years ago

>>13606016
This is the only thing I have worth sharing at the moment.
Part 1/4

>>13606203
2/4

>>13606211

>>13606215

>>13606225
Metal-man here. I really enjoyed it. You should post it here for feedback. >>13570357

>>13606215
Think there's a typo in this one: "you cheated on my with a mangy mutt"

I just wasted $100 dollars. It bothers me more than it should.

I can't help but thinking that the entire religion of Christianity is just one giant 5th column waiting to betray Western Civilization

>>13606326
Care to tell us how, anon?

>>13606613
I was drunk and I put it in a stripper's G string because I thought it was inly one dollar.

>>13597447
Because I have biological urges to want sex

>>13594788
Don't fall for it. I relapsed hard, took a mean knock on my will to self improve. Now I've been in a decaying rut for the last two weeks. Not worth it.

>>13606613
Not him >>13606618 but it was for something similarly frivolous

>>13597305
I think what we're struggling with is loneliness. Whatever the fuck you just described, I'm going through too bud. The time we spend alone, especially after these long days at work, we just sit in complete isolation. That amount of time to think, to think about everything and also to get bored so we fall back into our habits of drugs and porn is killing us. I can't see a way out, it feels like a giant wall in my path and I don't have the energy to climb up it anymore. It's almost sort of hopelessness but I don't feel particularly sad.

>>13607342
>>13597305
You two fuckers better be at least 27 to write a post like this.

>>13593507
pursue the art, the sublime, that greater thing beyond your current mediocrity. find something and consume it. or let it consume you. search for the ephemeral and will it into the concrete. the physical. there are many pilgrims and maybe your journey starts or ends with one of them. you're not trapped. all it takes to get moving, to get where you want to go, is a little burst of will.

>>13606117
It's already so fucking bad

I want to see just one mainstream figure openly addressing the irreparable damage to philo-semitism in recent years. When I grew up, being even slightly anti-semitic just FELT like something from the stone age. I never heard it or saw it, it was something from history books. Now it's in the fucking comment sections of Minecraft Let's Play videos with average demographics of 9-14yo males.

You can combat it all you want at the higher cultural and ideological levels and by having the intelligentsia rail against it, but how do you stop the "wisdom of the herd" from thinking something once that thing has become embedded, let alone something with as much tradition to tap into as European anti-semitism? Once hatred of Jews reactivates at that level of unconscious proletarian instinct, how the hell are you going to make it dormant it again? The mainstream is totally oblivious to this, in fact they make it a hundred times worse by doing that finger-wagging nagging mother shit about things they don't like.

I have some leftist sympathies but I don't understand the pro-immigrant position. You want to add millions of more needy and dependent people to a system that can barely already take care of its current population? You want to let in anybody who wants to come in, despite the lack of cultural assimilation, language barriers, or the fact that there may not even be work for them in the near future?

Even from a humanitarian perspective you're treating the symptoms not the causes, which are these failed states. The rich thing is that Obama was deported far more undocumented immigrants than Trump and yet you don't hear about this. He threw people out like bags of garbage but because he did it silently, with his famous grin and glad-handy demeanor, he's given a free pass.

If you can barely support your current populace it makes absolutely no sense to cram in more immigrants. We can't even look after our own, let alone the endless supply of poor and uneducated people clamoring to get in.

>>13607430
Do you live by your own advice?

>>13607488
You might say well, America has always been a nation of immigrants. Times have changed. There is no longer an untrammeled frontier and unlimited economic growth potential. The country's social support systems are rusty and degrading. Across every metric standard of living is declining. More immigrants would not help the situation. Anyone who is pro-immigrant is living in a sheltered bubble.

I grew up in a rough neighborhood with a large immigrant population. It was a crime-ridden, dangerous place to live. It doesn't make things better to let a haphazard mob into the country. I know from first hand experience that this only corrodes neighborhoods and deteriorates society.

>>13607488
Immigration and leftism have nothing to do with one another. Until like ten, fifteen years ago it was mostly the union-affiliated Democrats who opposed low-skill immigration and the pro-business Republicans who favored it. You must have forgotten the Bush migrant worker bills. And that aside, Democrats are not a left-wing party.
>If you can barely support your current populace
There's plenty of tax money to go around. It's just spent on stupid shit we don't need like corporate subsidies and foreign wars. Migrant workers are an integral part of the agricultural sector since Americans would demand living wages and humane working conditions that farmers aren't willing to provide, and has been going down drastically the past decades anyways.

Nobody cares about illegal immigrants when the economy is good and inequality is low. They just become a convenient smokescreen argument to bring up when other socioeconomic issues are brewing so that the public can focus on the evil Mexicans stealing their jobs or the angelic hardworking Latinxes being kept down by the man instead of the things that are actually ailing Americans. Every prominent American political issue is like that in fact. There's a reason we don't hear about labor issues or corruption or growing authoritarian tendencies very often, and when we do it's never expanded on or used as a segue into a discussion on more "pressing" issues like illegal immigration and guns and abortion. You live in the constructed reality the politicians want you to live in.

>>13593926
The source of evil is selfishness. Not cowardice. Cowardice comes from selfishness.

>>13606631
get an ohahole and a library card, bud

The woman was too simple, too plain. She was beautiful and kind. There was no depth to her.

The critics all agreed. So they stabbed her, they raped her, they scrutinized her childhood, they forced her to fall in love with a dear friend only to be betrayed. They picked apart at her heart and soul, until only a wretched, sobbing little thing remained.

Everyone rejoiced. Finally, the simple woman had depth. Finally, she was human, just like the rest.

>>13607562
Bullshit. There is the economic side of immigrants, the wage suppression they create. The agricultural sector is not growing. The available farmland is maxed out. Too much addition to the labor force force would lead to a labor surplus.

And the big industrial farms can afford to pay a living wage to actual citizens. It's bogus to suppose it's all just tiny farms that need the cheap labor. The corporations can afford it, they just don't want to.

Immigration exacerbates the socioeconomic issues. That's exactly what I said. And there isn't enough tax money. The government is in extreme levels of debt and social security is drastically overbudget. Where are you getting your facts from?

The socioeconomic situation needs to be stabilized before more fuel is added to the fire. All of these issues are interconnected; they don't operate in isolation.

>>13607463
you seem to be implying that their behavior isn't related to the amount of anti-semitism in society. If you get banned from 109 different bars, it's not because they're biased against you

>>13593379
I finally got employed. Not a "career" job, but a transitory one that's way better than min wage, anyway. I don't know what to do now. Grad school is still lurking in the back of my mind, but my options there are limited. It feels like time is simultaneously slipping away ever faster while also arriving at a dead halt. It's not a hard job, but I'm usually too tired (i.e. lazy) to work on any "creative" pursuits. Gym and work and hanging out with friends a couple times a week seems to be my life now. I'm not unhappy, but it feels like I should be doing more.

>>13607547
>Anyone who is pro-immigrant
Naturalized immigrants are on average slightly wealthier and commit less crimes than the native population. Do you mean a specific kind of immigrant? Immigrants from specific countries or in specific social classes perhaps?

>>13607613
I said they're not willing to pay, not that they can't. The vast majority of American agriculture is owned by large corporate interests and very heavily subsidized. The welfare state is in shambles because of mismanagement, perverse incentives and overspending over several decades, not because of a lack of revenue. Read up on microeconomic theory and then grab some books on 20th Century socioeconomics and politics. You use the exact same anecdotes and strawmen the members of our political duopoly use to misdirect the focus of the public. This is the richest country on Earth and our ratio of public goods to tax burden is far lower than that of every other post-industrial country. Political cartels, corruption and perverse incentives, and the collapse of civil society ruined the American dream. We did it to ourselves and now we're looking for someone else to blame.

It's fine if you don't believe me. I'm a professional labor economist and and unless you happen to be a billionaire businessman there's really not anything more I can do about it than you.

watching john prine on house of strombo and thinking i might actually cry when prine dies. damn, the guy is a songwriting treasure, and a hell of a nice person. and fucking lightfoot was in teh audience. son of a bitch, i'm a cry

>>13598096
I'm really sorry to hear that man. That must suck fucking ass. I'm so grateful for my humanist parents.

>>13598991
It's easy to be convinced of dumbass opinions if you get yourself stuck in the Ben Shapiro righty rabbithole cesspool of online content. Try to steer your friend towards better content (try leftytube stuff like contrapoints, philosophytube, sean, threearrows).

>>13607798
>better content
>contrapoints, philosophytube
>show your ben shapiro fanboy friend leftist youtubers, that will change his mind

>>13607786
Sometimes I kind of wish I was raised religious if only to know how it feels to be absolutely certain about something. I have trouble empathizing with a lot of people because the very idea of faith is preposterous to someone who hasn't been exposed to it from a young age. I didn't even realize people sincerely believed in God till like fourteen or fifteen years old and it really fucked with my head and made me think I was a loony during an important time in my adolescence.

>>13607798
Yeah no he's just going to call you a discord tranny. If he's really smart and just misled just making him read Plato and then Adorno or something should cure him. If he isn't suicidal by the end of anon's reading list he's probably under 80 IQ and should be ignored from then on.

>>13607798
You have to go back

>>13607798

>>13604588
cool. if it helps at all, most of my degree was in STEM (comp sci), i just switched out my last year. I have a real job already and it sucks, been in it for 5 yrs.

>>13593379
Should I major in Philosophy or Theology? Planning on Law school after undergrad.
>inb4 do STEM lol

>>13608121

Sturgeon must condemn.

I still go into the archives sometimes because I'm a complete moron with the self control of a toy train set and I must be going insane because almost every single post is starting to look like a cacophony of pointless self-gratifying bullshit without the slightest bit of ability to form a coherent sentence or valid observation. Is this just because I happened to go on /fit/'s archive? Have I finally become blind to the pseud atmosphere of this board and am now a certified midwit for even thinking that being more capable than the average 4chan poster is in any way an accomplishment? We're all retarded, aren't we?

>>13599681
>make a purposeless existence have purpose

>>13593379
Just spent ~250$ of my own disposable income to buy a high quality onahole.

>>13608445
Nice, I hope you enjoy it.

>>13604221
stfu pseud

>>13608445

>>13608490
Thank you. May you find a willing female partner to sleep with, if you haven't already.

>>13607894
>>13607878
>>13607826
left politics =/= reddit

>>13608559
Heh I got a lot of girlfriends but they ain't made of flesh and bone.`

I'm in love for the first time in years. What an impossibly sweet girl. She reads all the time and is crazy about the civil war and architecture.

Gonna enjoy it for however long it lasts and use the energy to accomplish great things.

>>13608621
I'm happy for you man. I wish you the best with your new companion

>>13608621
Build her a scale model of an antebellum plantation for her birthday ;) XD

Gunamonda ya topicaliasumon schelley won't you fart fart fart farr horn forlon the fjörd of my soul buttcrack in the limbo do the jumbo on the Zeigfried won''t be what we thought it was but I was there so how can be penguins taught the way to vape on a mindless derogatory malevolent speech of the sorts on a canyon of aliovilosilotili pillipilli wo billilijilli OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT

Anyone here on finasteride? How much does it cost you per week?

Femboy is the peak of human bodily aesthetics

Can't decide if I want to stay in the U.S and live a life with more problems but possibly more meaning or escape to a better country but have a less meaningful job

I lost the fucking money order. It was on my fucking desk. I have checked the entire apartment top to bottom. It has disappeared into thin air. This is the second time I have lost $500 in gift money in three months. I have lost over $1,000 somewhere in my room. The money does not exist anymore. I have looked in every book, on and under every surface. I am so incredibly angry and defeated. It was there on my desk for weeks, I never cashed it. Sitting there for weeks. Where the fuck did it go.

>>13608835
Sleep on it. Check again tomorrow.

Literally no one reads books anymore that aren't YA or if you're a weeb shitty light novels. Writing is pointless, you should give up and start writing scripts or video games instead. Not even memeing.

>>13608621
I wish I could love someone

>>13608811
I know for myself I am escaping the USA as soon as is possible.

>>13593379
I often spam the caps-lock button and type 'AAAAAAAAA' before typing any text into a search engine.

>>13608376
I think that, as a rule regarding this fact, what you do off 4chan is what makes or breaks you

I am just so tired of life.
Does it get better?
Everyday I wake up and it never refreshes me. My heart just rushed and I feel like I HAVE to do something.
I always feels like I am not doing enough (unemployed by the way)
Some part of me want to push harder but some just "can't we just give up already?"
Every time I do something I will always mess it up somehow.
Maybe continuing life was a mistake, I had been thinking of suicide for as long as I can remember

>>13608869
I'd have to disagree.
In fact this board's continued existence proves the contrary.

>>13608895
Well the fun thing about that thought is, you can't appreciate how dead you are.
That is possibly the least intellectually sound solution to you predicament.

>>13608898
How many people here have read a single work of contemporary fiction other than Infinite Jest?

>>13608735
That's gay and untrue.

The beauty of women is something bordering on the divine.

>>13607806
>contrapoints
I don't want trannys on my side.

>>13608902
As a former Muslim, we have this conception that the innocent (children, mentally retarded, etc etc) cannot sin and therefore given a free pass to Heaven.
I was a pretty practical and smart kid, so I thought if I killed myself before puberty (which is the cutoff) I will go straight to Heaven and that will be it.
I was very religious then, and I literally cried to God asking Him why didn't He just kill me before I could possibly go astray to Hell.
I suppose all this brooding thoughts really messed with me.
I remembered holding a knife to my hand as a kid, attempting to end it there...except I couldn't.
10 years later and I still think of doing it at least once a week.
The thoughts haunts me, attacking whenever the opportunities arises

I am just rambling now, maybe I will sleep soon, see if it works this time

>>13608835
>Where the fuck did it go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF5hArgQ6Q8

>>13608884
Where are you from now and why anon?

>>13593379
I'm not sure if I should go back to community college or get a job. I'm 22 and didn't go to high school or even middle school and my life has been pretty much garbage all in all with poverty, domestic abuse and isolation taking the forefront. When I finally worked up the nerve to go to college last year it ended in complete failure as I found it too stressful and decided to stop going. I don't regret that decision, though. I was only taking my gen-ed courses and boy was it a waste of fucking time, to go there and learn to write journalistic takes on cultural topics it was a genuine fucking slog... but still, I did enjoy that feeling of being a student, I don't know how to describe it... it was like, for the first time when someone asked me what I did, I could say "I'm a student" and they'd ask me what I'm studying and I could say "computer engineering..." for the first time in my life I felt like a human being among other human beings whereas before, I could only hang my head feeling what might be called a sense of shame... so yeah I miss that part, but I don't miss college itself. I wish I could go to a real university but again I'm poor and not a genius.
Personally, I'm satisfied with myself. I think I have some pretty good qualities despite all I've been through. But actively cultivating myself has proven extremely difficult, especially since I spend so much time procrastinating. If I were to add a job, or school, ontop of that, I wouldn't have time to work on myself, I'd basically regress.
Opinions?

>>13593379
FUCK YOU THE CIA

>>13608927
bro said pussy is divine ahahahahahahaha way to put pussy on a pedestal you dumb religious pussy-appreciator faggot, everything you are goes back to the pussy for you because pussy, femininity is your little shelter from the scarcities of the world... in the pussy you see divine concepts and ideals... ah the beauty of woman, how I'd like to appreciate her divine pussy which is in a way a manifestation of all my infant wishes and desires... ahahahaha

>>13608965
first time I've noticed the bread in his collar, kek

#lifegoals

>>13609423
same anon I'd like a girl to sit next to me one day too

>>13608735
You poor, deluded fool. Sometimes you'll understand the truth about 3DPD.

>>13593862
heh pige!

>>13608890
That is true. Then, if you take the man who does nothing but browse 4chan all day, I think you understand what his fate will be.