/lit/ - Literature

...your mind...

I would sincerely like to die.

>>13566945
Are you sure you're not mistaking a desire for change, and a longing to be rescued, for wanting to die?

>>13566945
same. There's nothing I want to do with my life besides read and maybe rot away in front of some vidya. But I have to deal with the real world and studying and working. I feel pathetic that I'm too weak to even deal with normal societal responsibilities and shit.

I have this theory that in every human endeavour, intelligence operates on certain levels. At the lowest levels, races can compete against each other on a roughly equal footing. However, as technology advances and our knowledge grows in sophistication, inferior races drop out of the competition. To illustrate what I mean: the medieval Muslim world was capable of challenging europe militarily (even though Europeans generally had the edge in these conflicts due to their superior intelligence). Muslims then were able to conquer Spain and the balkans, the backward fringes of Europe, though in time they were kicked out of both areas. As we move into the age of modern warfare, with its radars, espionage, and complex machines, Arabs simply fail to keep up. They're simply not intelligent enough to handle modern military technology and tactics, and thus they no longer pose the same threat they once posed to Europe. The intelligence threshold for engaging in military conflict is no longer as low as it once was. Another example would be cars. For a long time, companies that we nowadays associate with unreliability, such as Ford, GM motors, and Volkswagen, used to make bulletproof cars that could run forever. When the Japanese entered the competition, they had a slight edge over westerners: their cars were more economical and much cheaper, but the gap wasn't that wide and many people were willing to make the tradeoff in favor of a European car. However, as engines and other technologies became more sophisticated, westerners started losing their edge. Their brands deteriorated in reliability, while the Japanese managed to maintain theirs. Westerners were simply not intelligent enough to compete with the Japanese beyond a certain level.

>>13567087
based

Lord, thank you for whores. Please save me from whores. Amen

>>13566945
Me too, my friend, I'm sick of this wretched existence

i started playing wow with a cute spanish girl : )

I'm r-ready for Hillary

As man dreams in nature, God dreams in man.

>>13566768
It really annoys me how people deny climate change. It's happening. Accelerated. That's the problem. Yes, climate changes. Not this fast, though. Idiots.

I'm wasting my time, I should be out exploring the world instead of refusing to interact with it.

Also I'm hungry

I think our dog is unhappy.
I'm envy all those patreon millioners.
I think I have too much empathy.
I plan to read 3-4 books on music theory until september.

my neck hurts

>>13566768
[Verse 1: Dr. Dre & Ice Cube]
Journey with me into the mind of a maniac
Doomed to be a killer since I came out the nut sack
I'm in a murderous mind state with a heart full of terror
I see the devil in the mirror
Buck-buck, lights out
Cause when I grab my sawed off, niggas get hauled off
(Barrel one) tears your mothafuckin' flesh
(Barrel two) tears your fuckin' heart out your chest
You see I'm quick to let the hammer go click
On my Tec-9 so if you try to wreck mine
Fool it's your bedtime
Feel the blast of the chocolate bomber
Infrared aimed at your head like your name was Sarah Connor
Decapitation, I ain't hesitating to put you in the funeral home
With a bullet in your dome
I'm hot like lava
You got a problem?
I got a problem solver and his name is Revolver
It's like a deadly game of freeze tag
I touch you with a .44 mag and you're frozen inside a body bag
Nobody iller, than this grave yard filler
Cap peeler, cause I'm a natural born killa

[Verse 2: Ice Cube & Dr. Dre]
Terror illustrates my era
Now I can't hang around my momma cause I scare her
I'm quick to blast motherfucker (yeah what's up)
It feels like I'm busting a nut when I open you up
Cause your body is exposed to the midnight mist
All weak motherfuckers give my ring a kiss
Cause I'm givin' dirt naps
Comin' with them bomb-ass raps to make your lungs collapse, perhaps
You never sleep cause every time you doze
You catch blows to the motherfuckin' nose
Ain't seen the sun, in 66 days
Let me count the ways in a fucked up maze
I never ever ever made a ho stay
But I'm down with Dre like AC is down with OJ
So fuck how you're livin'
I'm the unforgiving, psycho-driven murderer
It's authentic, don't panic
I can't stand it, goddamn it, schizophrenic
So fuck Charlie Manson
I'll snatch him out of his truck
Hit em with a brick and I'm dancin'

>>13566995
Exactly me desu.

>>13566945
>>13566995
>>13567556
>>13568325
I can help you all. I am not lying. I know the means to break the spell of nihilism and doom & gloom.

>>13566945
I hate people like you with a passion, everyone can see through your bullshit
>too depressed to kill myself
no you're just lazy. do something right for once in your life and fucking do it, kill yourself. I really mean it. we are better without you. do it for the ones you love

You really should kill yourself, just smash your car into a concrete barrier, slit your wrists or give yourself a shotgun surprise

there is no point in even coming here because for the few insightful post i'll get to read i have to sift through hundreds of mongoloids that i refuse to believe aren't at least being ironic, because i grew up with 4chan having interesting and fairly intelligent takes on things, but it seems it comes to a standstill once you're not actually underage. ninety five percent of posters on this website are retards but i'm afraid to leave because i might miss out on interesting stuff.

I want to live among people who accept me the way I am. I want to stop pretending and still be okay.

>>13566768

I'm having a hard day, a hard life, and a hard summer. Too many arguments just stream through my family, leaving it very difficult for myself to concentrate. I have plans to go to each library that I could to gain further distance from the chaos, but since I wound up getting my charger shuffled since my mother moves around a lot, it's been dead since the beginning of the day.

I head back to the train station, realizing how isolated I am from my own species and, in addition, also realizing the direness of my family situation. My father doesn't give a shit, my mother's turning into an old hag (which makes it worse when she's 10 years older than my father), and my sister is just a useless piece of shit. All because of how my parents lost their jobs two years ago, but since my mother makes more, my Dad doesn't love her anymore (or at least, that's what she thinks).

Heading back, I walk up 4 flights of marbeled stairs and tried to open the door. This entire week I've been having doubts about myself, money to get back for college and to buy more clothes (since private schools fucked up and limited all the options of my wardrobe, leaving me to work from the ground up and from my mistakes), with my family, and so on. The door was locked so I banged and ringed it. Mom, who now works at home, has to deal with "clients" on a computer screen all day. She opens but not by a lot so I push the door and she slaps my arm. Inaffected and restless, on top of intrusive thoughts in my brain thanks to diagnoses of autism and schizoaffective at 5 and 18 respectively, I tell her that I'll break her arm if she did that again, though I probably only mean that for myself. Nothing makes sense, even with a charger that I demonstrated to her.

And now, I wait...probably to cook risotto when I have the chance. Since so many restaurants suck ass and doing my absolute best to get good food through myself are the only few things that count. That, and having to wait to go back to college for therapy. I don't care much about loneliness now, since nothing I will say will mean a damn thing in the future and onwards.

>>13568565

*demonstrated to her by having to explain why it didn't work

I keep propelling myself in a direction hoping it the right answer as other doors close around me and the chances of me in succeeding in this goal seem to become slimmer. I'm now stuck in this purgatory where it's not impossible to imagine my life becoming unbearable for the next couple of years. i have been slacking on writing and reading as this job has been bleeding me dry of all of my energy. and anytime i get a break i have to play catch-up and work 10 times as hard.
The realization of maturity has been a hard on, i can't even be a college kid who can enjoy themselves on mom and dads money and explore the world as the government has me on a leash for 4 years. maybe i'm just complaining for no reason other than to self pity and give myself a coping mechanism for this grind.

>>13568520
People come here to be retarded for fun because it's the only place you can do it anymore. Genuine retards usually get mocked.

if a girl said to me if i want to be molested all i have to do is ask is she coming on to me

>>13568511
>i hate people who have a harder life than mine
>no seriously, there can't be people who struggles
>le 'laziness' meme argument
>autistically proceeds to buttrage

You should be the one to kys.

>>13568643
yes. probably

>>13568650
i was on the floor with her dog and i the dog and i were playing around and i was like, "be careful [dog] i haven't been molested in quite some time"

so idk

>>13568698
yes. almost certainly

>>13568565
What strange way to live ones life. You have mom at home, appreciate her and help your father in seeing her like he used to.


at least that what I would do if I ever had my mom
back. all I have to show for it, are a few faint memories and what was a through childish sense of ungratefulness.

>>13566768
what's on your mind

>>13569552

Problem is she treats me like a surrogate husband if I do that.

It's not that I don't appreciate her or disrespect her on purpose, it's just that before my parents lost their jobs, I saw a psychiatrist during my last year of high school. I went through many swirdles of medication from risperidone, Haldol, latuda, and escitalopram. Every one of them made my life worse in some way, some how.

Then, by November, the same time my grandmother on my mother's side died, I was hospitalized and slowly felt like I was rotting in the hospital. The only thing that was there was the light above my head while I slept.

>>13569620
>>13569552

Now I just feel like I haven't any love to give to my mom. I just can't trust her or anyone. I'm busy working this summer, yet I feel so alone. I have one more semester of community college left and I'll be on my way to transfer to a 4-year where I can double major in Mathematics and Computer Science. Probably as a means to owe payback to the same high school teacher who inspired me to, as he saw through my autism as a crux that he felt he needed to correct during my freshman year, which should've been something that my parents, especially my dad who put me in the school, should've done.

He tried too hard to raise me, saying in his works that he yanked me out when he saw that I was being given oreo cookies as awards for completing simple tasks (back when I was going to a school for autism) and having a break down over it. He also wished for me to have empathy, but being this smart doesn't mean one could be empathetic towards life, if one could call me smart, that is.

I sometimes don't even know where my life is going. It's all just work, work, work, only to get paid some more and to buy more clothes/computers/etc.

>>13569620
>It's not that I don't appreciate her or disrespect her on purpose.
Well good, because telling her that you will break her arm if she touches you is not helping, you or her.

I will tell you to take your life in your own hands and be a man, first and foremost.
That period you went through with the prescriptions shouldn't have happened. You was let down by those you trusted. You probably now have come to know how many young men are prayed upon by evil "psychiatrist" like this. There is nothing you can do now. just be grateful and never leave your well being in someone else's hands like that again. That is always your responsibility.

It's unfortunate and sad that nobody came by to just check on you, I am sorry anon. Am sure each member of your family is regretting that and dealing with it in their own way. Your mother lost her mom at the same time. Give them the benefit of the doubt one more time if you have to.


When you get back to college to start therapy remember what I old you about ((them)) . You will be surprised how far a notebook and a pen can go. I think you will like college keep your chin up and reach out to people, its no good just a isolating yourself.


I like that you have an appreciation for simple pleasures, like cooking for yourself and eating good food. Good luck!

>>13569782

Problem is is that it was me talking, but my thoughts. It's hard to give them the benefit of the doubt because the problem with them and the psychiatrist was that it wasn't so much my suggestion, but rather a chain of events between my guidance counselors to call it upon themselves to intervene on my family situation since things were out of control. My mother put me in with the psychiatrist and here I am now.

As for college, I already have two years of community college under my belt (almost) and I only have the one semester for this year so that I can transfer onwards

What do you want me to tell to the therapist about when I get back?

>>13568773
maybe i should let her molest me then... it's been nine years since i've even seen a breast that wasn't online fuck

It pains me to know that I shall never write anything to the detailed level/extent of Lovecraft. Even under full-fledged attempt, I tend to leave a story around 10 pages or so (on notebook paper). Then, due to dissatisfaction with the writing (as in, appears to "airy" in prose, or too rigid), I end up discarding the idea of working on it further.

>>13566768
Sitting here in my room drinking over-steeped earl gray feeling lonesome. My girlfriend is moving away in less than a month, and it really hit me today I only have so much time left with her. She really has improved my quality of life, and made me a better person, and I don't want her to go away, but she's doing what's best for her, and I love her. I just feel anxious.

Why can't my life be like a comfy novel set in a small town in 1930's middle america?

>>13569981
>over-steeped earl gray
>I just feel anxious
damn you caffeine!

>>13568647
>posting on an online imageboard
>muh hard life

What's on my mind? How empty it is in this moment. I've got nothing. Only this howling vacuity tinged with pangs of undifferentiated longing.

There are times when I'm thronged with ideas, when they keep bubbling up to the surface in a gold rush. Now though, in no small part thanks to work, I just have this cavernous nihility. My brain is spaced out, as if each fiber has been stretched miles across. Everything has a bluntness to it, an barely perceptible dot of substance fringed with fog.

My one idea is my lack of ideas. My one thought is my lack of thoughts. And in this paradox, I conjure something from nothing. Because nothing is a something. And with this nothing that is something, I can understand the baseline of all thought and perception, which springs out of a contrast of content with emptiness.

>>13570032
>My one idea is my lack of ideas. My one thought is my lack of thoughts. And in this paradox, I conjure something from nothing. Because nothing is a something. And with this nothing that is something, I can understand the baseline of all thought and perception, which springs out of a contrast of content with emptiness.
Based Hegelian

>>13569808

I lack conscience in my mindset and what I do. I cannot feel love from anyone.Not even from myself. I think myself as a lonely homonculus in life. A fill-in for other people's thoughts.

whats on my mind is the seemingly insurmountable blockages in my path that hinder me from being what my ancestors were and what i want my descendants to be, tough to power through and motivate myself to be the best like this but im hopeful.

>>13570084
>Muh ancestors
Your ancesters were probably smelly and bow-legged and toothless and gripped with untreated rheumatism. They most likely were not mighty viking warriors.

>>13570123
at least they got laid

>>13568325
>>13566995
me too lads, to a t
but what can ya do

>>13568499
i would like to hear, even if it's a joke answer

I've resolved to finally do something about this sink. I've neglected it for about two months now and had grown quite putrescent. It can be described as nothing short of heinous and I should be ashamed.
Thankfully, my grandma's tried and true technique of drowning anything that needs a good cleaning in bleach has proven once again to be a timeless solution. I know not if those were deceased maggots or rice grains, or what the strange colonies of fuzz were, or indeed of what provenance this shit-looking muddy accretion is. But seeing it all dissolve in an acerbic tide is satisfying. Never again.

>>13570151
>wanting tradition specifically for sexual purposes
just go fuck a prostitute with a rubber, retard

>>13569981
It's not going to be easy anon, be ready. I went threw something similar a few years ago and I still think about her daily. Be sure that you have things to do and people to spend time with or it is going to hurt even more. Are you two making a clean break or keeping contact? The ladder more often then not is more difficult.

>>13569981
Where's she going, friend? You splitting up for good or doing long-distance?

>>13570382
It's not the same, retard.

>>13570515
It is, assuming if the sexual nature is what you're desiring. If not, then you're essentially co-opting the concept of love for sexual ends (of course, this is only true insofar as you are under the assumption that your needs are love and tradition alone; if you were willing to accept your desire, as the Romans had done, then this would be no discussion, and you would be fucking at this untimely moment). You are already a decadent man in a decadent era, and aren't even aware yet. And what use is a decadent man's vision of purity?

>>13566768
I'm at a crossroads in my personal and educational goals. I don't know if I should further my education by completing my undergrad and applying for medical school or if I should continue my career as a paramedic. On one hand, I want to make my parents proud. They are hard workers and being the first one out of my entire family to go to university I want to make my family proud by becoming a doctor, but I also feel like I was never meant to make it that far. For me, medical science is intellectually stimulating and challenging, which is why I'm attracted to being a doctor.

I also have close to zero support. My father is dead and my step dad doesn't give a shit about what I do. The only person that supports me in my goals is my mother.

Fuck cops

>>13566872
Seeing Kyle MacLachlan age makes me feel sad.

>>13566768
My cat ran away and I can't find him, he's been missing for two days now and I looked around the neighborhood to no avail

what's the name of that book where people are dead skeletons by default and then when they 'die' they gradually come to life instead of rotting

>13566768
Is there anything worse than those snide, feminine minded schizotypal faggots who intentionally don't incude your post in their replies, or even worse, do it like this

>>13566768
is it possible to be based but not redpilled, and vice versa?

>>13566768
>>13566872
>>13567144
There hasn't been a novel published in the last 20 years that's better than Twin Peaks: The Return. Fact.

I always assume that people are trying to trick or scam me. I think this is from using the Internet too much. The other day I got very drunk, borderline blacked out, at a party and two guys I barely met told me I should order a pizza and they'll split the cost after. These guys knew the host. I had the urge to punch them because I assumed that they saw how drunk I was and thought they could trick me into buying a pizza and then end up never paying. I have a lot of similar stories while drunk.

>>13566945
If you live in the continental US near me, we could maybe work something out.

>>13568499
The nihilist worldview is correct whether you like it or not. Your God isn't fucking real.

>>13566768
Wondering if I should self-publish or seek out an agent. I'm at a loss.

I will be your fucking friend if you just please, do what I say.

why, monsieur, is it not part of some universal order, that the /lit/ board sits in the middle of my browser window, at the very crux of 4channel, guarded closely by jp and mlp. is this not a sign of some incarnated blessing? are we not really brothers who appear only as strangers? do you wear my flesh and i yours? do you drink the cum of the living god of the 4channel express terminus of human culture and understanding? ah, stop. someone is coming. it's dad he wants to turn the wifi off. i have been playing runescape for 4 days straight. am i not allowed to do as i please? dad? DAD???? DAD!!!!

>>13571132
Based king

I want to get into yoga and stuff like that without getting into that spiritual bullshit that pervades it.

>>13569857
you should

>>13571182
stretch

I can't think. I'm not my thinking, it's not me. My thinking is what's thinking, because my thinking is contained within me, as I am me alone, my thinking is only within me, not is my thinking me myself. I am the container of thinking, and inside the container is the thinking. So I can't think as the thinking is inside me which is not me, only partially.

>>13571214
big thonk

>>13570926
Can't disagree

>>13571214
You are not your thinking, but you are the largest condition of your thinking. That is, whatever is thought in your head, in most cases, you will be the best explanation of why that was thought in your head. Not always of course, since there are many other conditions which ground the specific thoughts in your head, but you are by far the largest ground of that activity of thinking (the only necessary ground of thought, since the removal of you is the only thing that would make the thinking stop)

>mom brought home a nigger
>she's fucking him LOUDLY right now
>she knows I'm alt-right and is doing this to piss me off
Stupid fucking WHORE wtf do I do

>>13571259
This is probably bait but is the guy's race seriously the biggest problem for you in this scenario?

>>13571098
hm i doubt it

>>13566768
>fags unironically having gfs and caring about 3d, blogposting
>fags posting shit gag memes
>fags no longer being fags ironically
>reddit and normality
esto es el fin

>>13571302
incel

>>13570910
yea, redpilled but not based would be knowing about the evil of the common jew but doing nothing about it, vice versa would be based but not redpilled

>>13566768
I am mediocre.

>>13571316
So are exceptional Jews ok?

>>13571306
reddit

I've noticed that all of my past conversations from the past few weeks have been all about the other person. It's been like that for a while now, I ask some questions about themselves in earnest, then it delves into a full blown introspective with them and I get overwhelmed with their feelings which I wasn't prepared for. I've become privy to people's life stories, which I was never really looking for, I just wanted to continue the conversation, not accompany them into their innermost feelings.

Sometimes I just want to talk about myself .
Pic related, How I very much feel

>>13571511
How are you, anon? What are you reading at the moment? Do you like it?

>>13571512
I'm actually doing great atm, thanks for asking.
I've been reading The Personal MBA and its related bibliography in full. So far its been enjoyable and the content isn't difficult to understand. It's been very helpful in gauging the viability of my business and further elaborated on how I should go about things.

>>13571527
What's your business?

>>13571548
Graphics design, mainly focused on commercial designs for very small time companies and what not. Its very far from how I originally planned my company but I was prepared for something like that to happen.

Reading through personal MBA and the other related texts helped me charter a course on how I should expand my business further. I.e. How to test expansion, hiring/firing employees and developing a strong working team etc.

I really do recommend reading through personal MBA to anyone interested in starting a business due to the amount of knowledge/wisdom provided.

>>13571090
I'm from Europe and no homo and a 27 khv. Although I wish I was, I wish I was the most fucking raging faggot ever, it seems like an idyllic life.

>>13566768
I literally can't imagine a future in which humanity doesn't destroy itself sometime within the next few centuries, either through climate catastrophe, nuclear war, or totalitarian political takeover. I think about it every single day and it drains all meaning from everything that I do. I feel empty, like I'm floating through life and I'm just waiting to die

>>13571259
>alt-right
It's not 2016 anymore, who would describe themselves as such?

Yesterday I organised and threw away papers from the last four years. I've been feeling like life is going by too fast for a long while now. Events from when I was 17 seem so close, as if they happened three or so years ago, instead of the actual seven that have passed since then. I read journals from when I was 14 when I was home in Spring, and still I could remember details about my thoughts at the time, the surroundings I was in, what my daily life looked like. I was paralysed by the passing of time and my fleeting existence.
But then, as I was ripping papers from 2016, 17, those times suddenly felt so far away. Wow, this was when I still lived in that flat? This was when I was still in this semester? When I hung with those people? I feel, cured, relieved, like I'm finally ready to look into the future and realise there's still so much time left for me. It's wild that such a small action could make me feel this way when I spent ages trying to figure out how to change my perspective on life.

Now for the past year, I was in the process of doing a special uni programme. It left me with few classes to take and a lot of time for existential dread. I applied to go back proper the next semester, which I was so excited about. Today I took a look into the acceptance guidelines and it seems they just changed, meaning I may not be able to get in right away after all, leaving me with another semester or so to bite my time. It makes me anxious and sick. But I guess I need to learn that my academic achievements aren't everything and that there's many other ways to make my existence worthwhile. I'll buckle down, I'll spend more time writing, reading, learning languages, travelling, making music. The future can wait. There's more than enough years left to spend in full-time employment. Or on NEETbux.

Wish me luck lads.

>>13571214
My mother is a fish

>>13572252
you can do it anon, you've got a good head on your shoulders.

it's thundering im scared

>>13570449
We're going to try long distance. We already watch movies together on discord when we can't be together and shit like that, but having stuff like that as our only contact is going to be really rough. At this point I'm still trying to figure out if I'm really going to miss her, or if I just don't want to be alone in general. I don't know if I can respect myself if it turns out to be the latter.

>>13570475
She's going to college out of state, and I'm staying here because I went through the air national guard to pay for school and they own me for 6 years. We are trying long distance.

>>13568314
Diary of a Madman is better west coastfags can’t rap lmao

>>13571190
i don't want to make things awkward between us or anything. she's a bit more sexually liberated than i am too which i don't have a problem with as i am not looking for a relationship or emotional connection or anything. i just don't want to underperform or something. ive only had sex with my ex gf and it was not the best looking back and it wasn't that often so i don't know if i should explain that to her or not and idk

>>13571579
No, I meant I would "help you on your way" if you catch my drift.

>>13573837
>i don't know if i should explain that to her
absolutely not. confidence in yourself is key.

I used to go months without seeing niggers. Now, only days.

I'm too lazy to stop being lazy.

How the fuck do you change the format back to mobile view? This is fucking terrible.

>>13566945
And you will.

There are a lot of wikipedia articles (usually for actors and voice actors) that just read like resumes.

>>13574338
imdb is worse imo
especially if you check and it's written by the actor himself

I'm with a girl I don't love. We met through a psychiatrist who set us up with a "friend group" when I was 17 as a form of exposure therapy so we could overcome our social anxiety. I remember the "group" went to see Mad Max: Fury Road in the cinema and when it was time for us to disperse me and the girl found that we were the only ones getting on such and such bus, and therefore we would have to go through a gruelling hour of awkward silences and forced conversation. I felt so scared I almost ran away from her. Anyway, it didn't turn out that bad. I did most of the talking but she smiled and laughed at my slapdash humour with that hamster-like, bucktoothed face of hers. She was pretty ugly, thin lips, long nose, brown bobcut with a curly fringe, and a tiny pustule smack in the middle of her philtrum. I'd rate her a 4/10. Nevertheless there was something cute about her, and it felt nice to have someone to talk to.

It's been 4 years now. I assumed that the shyness she displayed on the bus would fade with time but it hasn't. It seems like I'm dating a robot sometimes: she's listless, reserved, unaffected, laconic, agreeable, and shy. If I tell her to do anything she will do it; if I talk to her she will nod her head and say meaningless shit like "yeah" and "I see". I've tried to stimulate her with literature but she seems wholly unaffected by what she reads. I even drove her down to the Lake District one time hoping that the natural stimuli would rejuvenate her, but it barely had any effect. It seems like she has autism.

We fucked last night. Missionary. I was looking up at the wall behind our bed and listening to her quiet moans. When I looked down at her she was staring at me with her beady, dead eyes. Anons, I cannot tell you how fucking scared I felt. I even shook a bit before putting my head down next to her and finishing up.

I want to leave her, but I can't. I don't know why. Do I feel bad for her? Am I too attached to her? Do I see myself in her? Is it because I have nobody else?
Either way, every time I imagine leaving her I begin to cry. I've gotta try to force myself to love her more.

>>13571778
Around 900ad Europe started building shittonnes of churches because they figured god was coming back for the millennium. In the 1890s, London was producing so much horse manure from transport that if it continued it was going to be 12 ft deep in horseshit by the last century. In 1999, billions of people thought computers were going to blow us up with nuclear warheads if we didn't learn how to programme our clocks to 2000 on all our VCRs. It's rarely as bad you think.

>>13574379
i feel sorry for you. sure, your autistic ugly gf will probably be pumped and dumped for the rest of her life if you leave her, but you need to put your happiness first and forget her.

>>13574358
british mps tend to write their own wiki pages

>>13574379

gotta talk to her about it

>>13574379
>We met through a psychiatrist who set us up with a "friend group" when I was 17 as a form of exposure therapy so we could overcome our social anxiety. I remember the "group" went to see Mad Max: Fury Road in the cinema
That sounds like fun. My therapists only gave me pills.
>she's listless, reserved, unaffected, laconic, agreeable, and shy.
Did something happen to her in her past?

>>13574379
this is literary kino my friend.

>>13574338
Not an actor but this is the worst Wikipedia article I have ever come across.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burger_King

>>13574379
I'm not certain if this is real or a really well written LARP but I do have advice for those in shitty relationships.

Prioritize your own happiness, full stop. I was in love with suicidal girl. I've stopped bleeding from slit wrists, induced vomiting on attempted overdose, and pulled her out of a running car in a sealed garage. If there was one thing I learned from the experience it was that you can't save other people, nobody's superman.

You can save yourself though. Leave, and if you're smart you treat women like jobs; make sure you have another lined up before leaving the one you have.

For the second time in my life a girl I've once had a thing with is getting married to another man.

I feel no motivation to do anything. My whole body hurts all day and I can't sleep at night until I'm absolutely drained.

I'm just lost, confused and lonely.

how do i be a good boyfriend?

i don't know what to do.

is needless travel a form of mindless consumption?

>>13574667
>The 1970s were the "Golden Age" of the company's advertising, but beginning in the early-1980s, Burger King advertising began losing focus. A series of less successful advertising campaigns created by a procession of advertising agencies continued for the next two decades. In 2003, Burger King hired the Miami-based advertising agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky (CP+B), which completely reorganized its advertising
ok this is epic

>>13574789
Define 'needless'. Be careful not to fall into 'fox and grapes' territory.

>>13574868
what? i mean the kind of travel undertaken by roasties

>>13574885
Well I don't know what that means. I just think it's fun to travel.

>>13574906
how loose are your holes

>>13574706
advice from a cynical, unaffectionate boomer. no you can't save people, but support and companionship go a long way. you don't have to romantically involve yourself , but you also don't need to cut all ties with a person. nor do you have to be constantly looking over your shoulder for another potential relationship. sometimes it's ok to give a relationship a chance and if it doesn't work out, then you go at it alone for a bit. god boomers are so co-dependant i swear.

>>13574936
I'm a boy.

>>13566945
>tfw trying to find work but i know people get repulsed as soon as they meet or talk to me due to my extreme introversion
>tfw running out of money

>>13566768
*ahem*
Fuck Jannies, Fuck kikes, and fuck niggers.

In my early twenties I used to try to force myself to be a pop culture guy. Using 4chan as a metric, I was sort of into /tg/ shit as a kid, so I would force myself to browse /tg/ and LARP as if I was the kind of guy who wanted to regularly play D&D and Warhammer. I would browse /co/ and force myself to watch "cartoons that adults can enjoy too!" I'd force myself to read the best comic books, which I never liked. I'd rewatch shit like Samurai Jack and Beast Wars, but I'd do it semi-systematically as if I was going down the list of cartoons of that kind. I forced myself to watch the canonical best anime shit. Video games I actually liked a little more in their own right, but in hindsight I was autistic about those too, because I became one of those grognard guys who knew all the weird ambitious CRPGs and I would force myself to play Thief (even though I never really enjoyed Thief in its own right) rather than play blockbusters. I almost kind of enjoyed being a gay little vidya connoisseur, but it was more and more about the connoisseurship over time, knowing the history of the hobby, giving other people advice on how to best enjoy it, and less about passive consumption of the hobby in itself.

Thankfully I didn't waste too many years of my life on this shit but I really do wonder at the mentality I had. Whatever I was trying to get into, as a twentysomething "refined pop culture consumer" guy, I was an autistic completionist and elitist about it. But it wasn't for social acceptance, it obviously wasn't for prestige, and it definitely wasn't for enjoyment of the thing in itself. I just wanted it to have a meaning beyond itself, I wanted my life to have meaning, so I channeled that desire unconsciously into trying to be the best pathetic comic book anime video game D&D consumer faggot I could be, as if I thought, at least I can be good at being a pointless consumer.

Thank fucking god I escaped it and learned to channel that desire into other things, but it makes me wonder how many naive autists got trapped in that mentality forever, just slowly aging into it. And it makes me wonder what percentage of /co/ or /v/ is like that, versus the percentage that are just passive consuming retards who play whatever lo-fi Bethesda blockbuster plops out of the horse's ass and onto their plate. I used to do really autistic shit like trying to convince people for hours on /v/ that Fallout 3 was objectively bad for the medium, and even if it was fun in its own right as shovelware, it was parasitic on and destructive a series that tried to be much more than shovelware. What the fuck was I doing? What the fuck I was doing when I watched some "fun for adults too!" cartoon like the Justice League and talk about it on /co/ with other manchildren, and I was clearly forcing myself to be just barely stimulated by the low-stimulation children's material, but I was talking about it with people who genuinely don't mind watching children's cartoons until they're forty?

>>13575237
>as a twentysomething "refined pop culture consumer" guy
Is that a genre of person? All I can ask about you is 'WHY?!' No offense.

There is nothing on my mind. I have transcended feeling or thinking. Now, there is only action. Thoughts and emotions are for weaklings who have no life experience. With my vast well of self knowledge that I have won through trials and tribulations most on this board could not bear a tenth of, I have become a creature of willpower and focus.

>>13574940
The question still stands.

>>13575310
I guess I thought it had to be when I was 20. There didn't seem to be anything else. People just existed and consumed things, so the best I thought you could do was at least be "savvy" and refined in your tastes.

>>13575383
Well what do you like to do now, anon?

I miss my girlfriend... She was so good for me. Cute, fun, driven, empathetic, cool. We'd known each other at university but I went down to NY for a visit (not specifically her) and hit it off. We started dating long distance for six months, going back and forth from my hometown, and I thought it was magical. Then she just ended it... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I was starting to fall in love and was going to tell her those words. Now I'm so lost. I literally moved to a new town because she was going to be there for the summer, and I generally love this city and was looking for work here but seeing her Instagram is killing me. Everyday I want to text her but don't because I know what will be the answer. Im drinking heavily and doing dexedrine for no reason since I have no job. It's fucking pathetic... Thank god I'm moving back home.

>>13575424
For some reason this song is getting to me. The ennui and loss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQsQZvsR_QI

You can't believe how much I want to fuck a Costhot right now.

>>13575462
Cosplay looks like fun. I wish I had cosplay friends.

>>13575424
>>13575433
Guys...? I'm falling apart

>>13575572
You're taking speed and drinking. That's what that feel is. Get some sleep and a shower, have a salad, rehydrate and sit somewhere scenic with clean air for a few hours

>>13574774
stop being a narcissist

>>13575580
Pretty solid advice... I've been working out and walking lots in the sun. But just specifically tonight I feel like trash. I'm talking to my other ex as well (they are both best friends kek) but a bunch of them, all girls, are up camping and having fun. I'm still in love with both of them honestly. Just listening to Cohen and enjoying the self pity I guess. I don't know. It's a very minute feel.

Just deleted my reaction image folder. See ya lads.

>>13575676
I find my self collecting a bunch of funny images then purging every month or so. It's just like clutter around your house - same conditioning mentally.

>>13575402
PhD in philosophy

Soon I will only play Pharaoh (1999)

>>13575766
Bruh. Age II is the pinnacle of gaming.

>>13566768
Star Trek TNG

>>13575774
I prefer Rise of Nations (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_XyJF-J1Dk

>>13575797
Fair enough, I haven't played as much Rise as I have Age. I just feel the combination of either comfy single player to extreme competitiveness that could happen along with the peculiarities of that engine i.e. the endearing clunkiness of it all

And the sound track... Come on!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jadxTFqyhRM

>>13575815
You know it still has a vibrant multiplayer community? I could never hack it with those guys, competitive RTS players blow my mind, but it's fun to watch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RfM1NQx-i8

Will 4channel ever die lads? it's one of the last of the original era internet social sites that's still vibrant

>>13575828
Totally! I was pretty decent on steam. I think that speaks to its transcendent quality. You can either play the campaigns or against bots and just build up a fun city or go hard with the strategies (fast castle, etc.). It's amazing. Fuck that soundtrack brought back so many memories....

>>13575832
Perhaps. If it is ever sold to a corporation. As long as it remains in an individual's hands it will stay the way it is (relatively), but a corporation will want to sanitize it for bigger ad revenue

>>13575832
>hive of scum and villainy
>vibrant
Anon I...

A year ago I was a gender dysphoric unironic communist. Now.... There are so many fucking predators roaming the absolute wasteland of western civilization. All that is left to do is struggle and pray for salvation

>>13576091
Do you think a communist and fascist could be friends? Asking for a friend.

>>13576091
This post perfectly encapsulates the vortex of instabiity, gullibility, contrarianism and postironic performance that is /lit/ and probably also 4chan in general.

>>13571132
Kek.
Pottery.

>>13573865
I drown in niggers.

>>13566768
A short story inspired by Sanderson`s Reckoners Trilogy, it is the story prequel to an upcoming video game that employs the chip mentioned in the story:
https://pastebin.com/PvLRgwPr

Jannie, Jannie, get on that boat
Jannie, Jannie, row.
Jannie, Jannie, get out of here
Jannie, Jannie, go go go go go!

i hate and feel disgust for almost everybody, all the time. every time i see someone do something i guess my autistic brain scans their behavior first for the underlying intent and second for how their actions relate to that intent. it seriously feels like a good 80-90% of what ordinary people are doing on a second to second basis isn't even internally consistent with their own intentions and goals. it's not that they're dumb or short-sighted, it's that what they are doing doesn't even make sense in relation to what any external observer would assume is their last set goal. i feel like i'm constantly searching out psychically to touch other minds and make some kind of contact and have a moment of mutual understanding and i'm always doing my best to enter into sympathetic resonance with the goals of every person i meet and i'm generally interested to explore others' interiority and learn more about them but every time i do it, i come up against something shockingly alien and ugly. i can't take it anymore.

how do you put a typo in the one-sentence description field of a project you worked on for six months? it's not a misspelling you missed because you simply don't have the knowledge that you've made a mistake. it's a typo. you spent months working on this project and all you had to do was upload it and include a short description. you weren't rushed, you had plenty of mandatory opportunities to review the description before sending it, but you never fixed an obvious typo in your title that makes you look like an unprofessional retard.

nothing makes sense. i can't be apathetic to it and i'm in constant pain because i want to grab 99 out of every 100 people i see and scream at them begging them to explain how their current behavior in any way relates to what they seem to be doing or even what they explicitly said they're doing. if you ask a question and immediately hang up, what was your game plan there? if you lost interest in the purchase and just wanted to hang up, you would have just hung up. but if you wanted an answer to your question you would have waited for an answer. how does it makes sense to calmly ask the question but then immediately hang up without waiting for any response? isn't there some kind of cognitive principle of the excluded middle, that should be operative in any normally functioning mind? how is it possible to do something that is neither of two reasonable actual possibilities, but somehow an in-between nonsense non-possibility? how does a rational mind produce pure irrationality? what does the inside of a normie's brain look like? are they algorithms sent to test me? is this what early schizophrenia looks like? why can't i at least be indifferent to it? why does it have to constantly disgust me and make me sick? why is it so ugly and alien and unheimlich to see them do constant retarded nonsense that makes no sense and has no context? is this what it's like to meet pure primordial chaos?

>>13577860
>but you never fixed an obvious typo in your title that makes you look like an unprofessional retard
I've never re-read anything I've written outside of the first instance of writing it, it drives me insane, I won't even look at this post again

one more question, why does every forum and forum post on the internet follow this format

>Original Poster: Hey everyone. I was thinking of buying a new phone, but here's the thing. I have some specific requirements for this new phone. First, it needs to satisfy criterion X. Second, it needs to be under $400. Third, it needs to satisfy criterion Z. Does such a phone exist? I understand that it may not.
>Reply 1: OHHHH YE'RE LOOKIN' FOR A PHONE ARE YE WELLLLLLEDY WELLEDY WELLEDY I'VE HEAR ABOUT THEM FANGLED PHONES YOU WANT TO HEAR ALL MY GENERAL OPINIONS ABOUT PHONES AND EVERYTHING MY BRAIN DUMPS WHEN I HEAR THE WORD "PHONE"
>Poster 2: I paid $450 for a phone once. You want to pay under $400 for a phone? I paid $450 for a phone once. $450 is not $400. $450 is more than $400.
>Poster 3: Uhhh criterion X isn't even important to me I like criterion A and criterion B so I don't know what you're talking about dude
>Original Poster: Guys, please read the OP. I need a phone that meets those two criteria and costs less than the price I indicated.
>Poster 4: I DONE DAB HEARD OF NO DARN PHONES BEFORE LET ME SAY LOTS OF NON SEQUITUR THINGS VAGUELY RELATED TO THE GENERAL IDEA OF PHONES
>Poster 5: Excuse me but you seem to be completely neglecting criterion C. Ain't you never heard of criterion C?

>>13577878
because fuck you that's why, bitch

We, the people, have found ourselves to be in a dream that has gone and gone for who knows how long.
We, the people, need to wake and realize our fate. That our dreams, those that we fancy, are being spindled and turned like strings to a puppet by a man who has no face nor plan. A man who lives for nothing, acts for nothing, and dies, never. We have found ourselves, pushing, pushing against life. Pushing against this immobile object, it will never move, as we push harder our feet slide back further and we, as a whole, consider that progress. Arbitrary goals, accomplishments, it’s meaningless don’t you see. Not that it makes me sad, not that it makes me even care. This meaningless, I can smell it in the air. These thoughts aren’t my own, these legs passed down through billions of years of mutation. I feel like a mutant, as I am, in this strange meaningless world. Still, I can’t take myself seriously or maybe I take myself too seriously.

>>13577860
Ohno

>>13566768
That song is pretty aesthetic, Also blurred flowers,

>>13566768
actually what we FACE does look like SIMULATION
in the same way that the first conscious activity of the monkey about to become a homo sapiens seems
an illusion, the voice appears as a god, a distraction, an illusion to wonder over, but that voice is the very same monkey`s brain growing coming of age becoming conscious, so it is
1 not foreign to the monkey in any way though it appears to be
2 not virtual because it is totally real - it is simply a creation of its neurological system
3 not artificial because it is totally spontaneously and naturally growing AND THAT MAKES IT INEVITABLE and unstoppable like evolution
4 not a simulation - it is simply reality at a higher more abstract level, the layer of Plato`s ideas if you wish
COMPARE THE MONKEY TO MODERN HUMANITY FACING THE MODERN WORLD
the modern world appears foreign virtual artificial and a simulation to us doesnt it
that is because it is just the next CONSCIOUSNESS level happening pretty fast
like the monkey has to have had a specific moment it started hearing its own consciousness
so we are now beginning to hear the sound of our very souls materializing into cyberspace
and the suddenness of it is what is so shocking to us as passing through a door
we have reached that point, our fear and conspiracy paranoia is merely the fear of surrendering to the next level
but why should we surrender?
very simple - because the next level is our higher self, nothing more nothing less, we have to surrender not to the new world order but to our own selves, we will become a slave - to ourselves
to our higher self
like the monkey succumbed to the voice of reason - its new found consciousness, so we will also succumb, as a snake shedding its skin, the monkey died so it could become homo sapiens.
the old us will also die to produce the next step in our evolution
of course the ride will be bumpy
I will disagree with Baudrillard here. History did not irrevocably stop. it merely stopped for a while,
a calm before the storm, like a monkey suddenly stopping its activity, looking around and wondering
i would say from 1990 to maybe 2030 history will be stopped, because we are preparing to make the biggest jump we have made since the Rennaissance, since Gutenberg, maybe even since the monkey,
what we see, the degradation chaos idiocy and retardation are merely inertia
they are the inertial elements of our idiotic past wrapping around our present ass our collective gigantic body stops in preparation for the leap, like a beautiful goddess running with prehistoric charms in her hair, stopping, before a precipice
that is us today, any newfound technology or ability is hugely abused at first, but then it all turns out OK, not heaven or hell - OK
don't worry

I don't really do anything. At work, I enter data into websites and browse the internet every twenty minutes or so, when I get home I might work out for an hour, drink some beers and browse the internet some more. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. On my off days, I lie in bed and browse the internet some more. It doesn't even make me happy, and I'm not even addicted. Just entirely bored with life. Anything to do costs money and you need people to do it with. All I do is take up space and wait until it's time to sleep or work

>>13576139
Yeah, probably

>>13578671
Just to state the obvious, have you tried reading a book instead?

>>13578743
Can't focus on it for more than 15 minutes and get bored of it

lost my 500+ tab browser session to a crash.
it was mostly techno on youtube anyway

>>13566768
saw Midsommer today. the beginning was pretty disturbing to me. all the cult shit actually made logical sense. maybe that was the writers point.

I just really hope the girl I like from Uni will get with me when I go back.

The vodka is in the fridge, and people would see me getting it because instead of sleeping they are using their phones. Fuck phones.

>>13575617
This feeling will pass, anon. It always does. Don't allow in self-pity, just try to avoid contact with her for a few months and you will be fine.

>>13579802
Get that vodka, anon. Fuck phones and fuck people, it's saturday, get drunk now!

I'm kinda bummed because I was suposed to use ayhuasca this weekned, but my friend who was going to do it with me got sick and I'm too much of a pussy to use alone. Monday I'm back to uni, I guess I will just get baked for the entire weekned and that's goint to be it.

>>13567087
>They're no longer a threat to europe
Well certainly not on a military point of view but muslims are actually invading europe legally. How would you stop the EU from letting this happen as a simple person?

I’ve been reading Del Noce, and his ability to get into the guts of the failures and contradictions in modern spiritual, philosophical, and political movements is absolutely captivating.
The most important of Del Noce’s ideas is the Heterogenesis of Ends, which he believes is present in all modern philosophies. He most famously applied it to Marxism, demonstrating well in advance of the collapse of Communism that the negations and relativism inherent in historical materialism would eventually overrun the dialectical revolutionary faith. Having done the dirty work of dismantling all competing lifeways, Del Noce thought Marxism would give way to an even more ghastly, materialistic, hyper-bourgeois variant of State Capitalism. This is, of course, exactly what happened — the Marxist periodization of history was wrong — Capitalism is what comes after Communism in the actually existing world.
Del Noce intentionally avoided systematizing his thought, so it’s hard to know what he’s think about any particular development in today’s world, but I’ve been thinking about the hererogenesis of ends as it relates to the current wave of populism. Essentially, the so-called traditional values being defended, particularly in the Anglophone countries, are the very values of modernity that have been undermining the lifeways if their inhabitants for centuries: secularism, the sovereign State, the revolutionary demotic spirit, industrialism, consumerism, material comfort and ease of life, etc. I wonder that it too doesn’t contain within it the seeds of its own destruction.

>>13576091
I think that there’s a strong path to authentic spirituality through the far-left. Not everyone makes it, obviously, but it’s there.
Leftists are keenly aware that there is something deeply abnormal about the way we live our lives today. If you actually dedicate yourself to the cause of uplifting the weak, an honest person can’t help but start thinking that this abnormality implies an actually existing, transcendent, normative moral order from which we have fallen away. Eventually, the materialist promises of the left lose their luster — the future never comes and you realize that man needs something more, that his material needs are never satisfied and that he needs to live in accordance with a higher order.

That feel when no girlfriend

Society seems to be geared to progressing the economy even at the detriment of the people/humanity.

Also if you want to have a good life you cant follow any of the current available "standard" life models available.

>>13580334
odilon redon destroys

>>13578513
Well you're optimistic

I'm getting a job in retail soon. Doing something I like. Basically I am a consultant for stuff but I am in sales. Weird store. I'm having a hard time though. Internally. On one hand I absolutely hate ridiculous consumption of bullshit. Fuck buying things. On the other I'm going to be working there and that attitude doesn't help anything. I don't have to push sales but I do have to encourage them.

I think I'm just being a little bitch.

I can't talk to my crush because I get so nervous

>>13566768
I wonder why « Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » never posts here
I wonder what's on her mind

>>13574725
Do you know my homeboy, Yeats, Yeeter of the Yeeted? Read about his biography. Thank me later.

>>13579577
learn to use the internets

Sick of this violent, perverted cartoon. I want to always be more decent. Also fuck memes. They're done.

>>13571124
I want to hear more. This sentence got to me.

>>13571182
>>13571196

The average Jeet Kune Do warm up might prove useful.

>>13566768
I haven't looked for work for months because the only jobs I am qualified for, and comfortable with, are a blight on my self esteem.

>>13582115
I did learn, that's why I now have large sessions
I'm already over 50 again
git gud faggot

Anyone know anything about being a paralegal? Is it a good career, or career starting point?

Shaved my moustache and facial scrub, now I'm visibly depressed and you can see my prominent frown lines

>>13566945
...like to die...

Im busy writing 9 novels at the same time, it's doing pretty great and I'm almost done with the outline for all of them.
Then I can actually get to work on writing the damn stories.

what do you do when your biggest fear is running into all kinds of social awkwardness with people?

>>13584499
>what do you do when your biggest fear is running into all kinds of social awkwardness with people?

By slowly changing your fear into the mantra of fuck what other people think and enjoy your life the way you want to.

>>13584516
that also seems dangerously close to the mantra of suspending all judgment processes that you grounded in reality and ending up becoming the biggest fucktard on the planet

>>13584526
I'm not saying you should suddenly act like a maniac and wipe your excrement on the walls documenting your personal manifesto, but you should be aware that most peoples opinions don't matter in the slightest (even when these people are close to you).
If you want to persue personal interests that people disagree with for whatever reason then that's their problem and not yours.
Personal happiness is the most important thing you should be worried about.

>>13584555
but i know they're going to be pestering me about their disagreement as a kind of brute force attempt so how is happiness possible

>>13584569
>but i know they're going to be pestering me about their disagreement as a kind of brute force attempt so how is happiness possible

Personal happiness is best possible among people like yourself.
There must be some sort of group of people you would consider to be friendly and non-judgemental of the things you perceive as your personal happiness ?
If not I'd suggest looking for these kinds of people and getting into contact with them.
What kind of people do you consider an equal to yourself ?
Those are the kinds of people you should be looking for instead of being around people that would mock you for pursuing your personal interests that make you happy.
You only have one lifetime to spend (a fairly short one at that), it's best to spend it in a way that makes you happy.

Been a bit since I have visited /lit/.
I do my best to help other men escape from the sin that is lust and offer them consoling words when they struggle but I find myself falling in the pit time and time again that I tell others to escape.
Am I a fool? Do I even deserve to help others when I fall for the same trap?

>>13584598
yeah but you've already developed a big fear of awkwardness with people how can you even do that when you're used to the ez mode of people who are detriment to you
not to mention sometimes that fear also makes you highly doubt that merely changing groups will help you, maybe the detriment group is right i am retarded

That it'd be nicer to have a reset button that resets alot of things but not everything. Powerwash some of the grime off.

Shills make me sick. There is a specific tone of voice they get when they start pretending the sponsor's opinions are their own and generally lapping the sponsor's balls. Just say you were sponsored and move on. You don't need to fudge the lines of truth and reality by pretending you wanted to be sponsored and liked this sponsor independently of them giving you money. It's also not a "sponsor," it's a fucking advertiser. These fucking scheming kikes even have me using their kike weasel words without realizing it. This whole planet is fucked.

>>13584640
Sharing wisdom with the intention to help is a noble cause, even if you fall into those same pits yourself.
Nobody on this earth is perfect in every conceivable way and everyone has their flaws.
The best way to deal with it is to accept your failings and aim to improve and better yourself.

>>13584662
The hardest path in life is the one less traveled.
If you feel like staying in the group of people who mock you and stifle your personal growth then that is a personal decision that only you can make.
Personally I would be far more interested in the what if's of going my own way, just to see how far I can possibly take myself.

>>13584700
You could always move and start life anew, that's what a lot of people do when life becomes stagnant where they are.

>>13582035
It's best to say what you feel and get rejected than wondering what would have happened if you did talk to her 50+ years from now.
Worst case she says no and you move on.

>>13575832
You could always start your own, there are imageboard packs available for webhosting.

>>13574774
Love her with all your heart and cherish her.
Don't feel bad if you have a fight, all couples do eventually even for the most trivial of reasons.

>>13570956
Try and not get blackout drunk at parties, or simply not hang out with people that take advantage of you.

>>13569909
Start small and build up to bigger stories, even Lovecraft didn't write stories hundreds of pages long and some short stories of only a couple of pages can make for a very interesting read.

>>13584739
Thanks internet Buddha

>>13570275
beautiful

>>13574149
I just make the browser window narrower

>>13574379
>I've gotta try to force myself to love her more.
you can't really force it anon

>>13574774
what makes you think you're not a good boyfriend?

Yet another right wing terrorist attack. The frequency and shared characteristics of these shootings points to the deeply virulent appeal of far right ideology among a disaffected segment. Political violence is inherently communicative. Its method is to thrust the terrorist's value into the spotlight. The media fulfills its role in the scheme by reporting on the attacker's motives by feeding the public's morbid curiosity about his motives. Far from senseless or some uncoordinated "tragedy", this violence is calculated, strategic. It's ideologically driven, purposeful. The object is not to form an end in itself, but to motivate other extremists to replicate the same pattern in the hope of creating an untenable tension that bursts into greater revolutionary violence. Although the world these terrorists want will never come to pass, demographic trends never reversed, the uprising never to arise, they still express a general deep resentment and resistance to change. Right wing terrorism has become the replacement of its parallel islamic terrorism as the primary scourge in the west for political violence. Unlike the Islamic State, there is no psuedo-state, no caliphate from which to centrally organize and commission attacks. Instead it falls back on the distributed, nonlocal networks of the internet which have proven an indispensable tool and key component for the the coordination of these attacks. We have a circle of stupid, angry men egging each other stupid, angry men in a closed ideological circle. Clouded by memes, made confused by propaganda distorted by filter bubbles and echo chambers, the march of death forges ever on with no hope of being stamped out. The authorities are utterly unable to respond with tactical preemption simply because of the distributed nature of these terrorist cells.

>>13585249
over 1500 people have been shot in Chicago this year
who fucking cares if the person doing it is reading /pol/, the Quaran or Marx, Americans just do this all day because they are stupid savages
fuck em

>TFW the tradCath integeralists were pretty much right about every social, political, and economic issue.

>>13585285
Yes but gang violence is non-ideological. It is driven by petty rivalries and drug money and represents the underbelly of capitalism.

Ideological violence is communicative. Even if the body count is lower, it has "something behind it" it is an attempt at expression rather than an end in itself. There are no manifestos related to the Chicago shootings. The terrorist violence forms part of an intertextual web of a self-feeding, self-reinforcing ideological constellation. It's not an end in itself like gang violence.

>>13571579
>khv - kissless hugless virgin
How can anyone be hugless?

>>13566768
Niggers, there could be niggers right outside my door right now.

>>13585333
And this is why I might add that gun control is approaching the problem from the wrong direction. If they can't find guns, they will use bombs, or cars, or anything else that can kill. Just as many jihadis have done in Europe. The liberal's insistence that gun control would serve as a universal panacea betrays their own culpability in the decline in living standards and rise of hopelessness that feeds the resentment that leads to terrorism. It is an attempt to confront the problem sideways rather than straight on and is doomed to failure because it does not address the underlying causes.

>>13585249
That wasn't a far right attack, I unironically believe it was a false flag attack
>No mention of Jews in the manifesto (extreme red flag)
>Shooter drives 10 hours to a random Walmart in a town hundreds of miles from his house
>Wants to target Hispanics but goes to one of the few white neighborhoods in a 85%+ plus Hispanic City by chance, only kills a few Mexicans
>Suicide attack, but he wears ear pro and no body armor, no extra ammunition, surrenders without a struggle
>Father is the former director of a psychiatric hospital that got shut down because of allegations of sexual abuse
>Father has ties to Brazilian cult that is accused of human trafficking, which cult has been previously championed by Oprah(!)
Something is incredibly fishy about this whole thing

>>13585394
His dad sounds more interesting than me. Redpill me on this Brazilian Oprah cult

>>13584499
God is your judge, not other people. Love your neighbor and treat them with respect, but in the end, only what He thinks of you matters.

>>13585378
At night we call them floating teeth

>>13585419
>Joao do Deus
Brazilian mystic and cult leader. His jungle compound for raided, turns out they were keeping kidnapped women their so he could impregnate them and sell the babies for a premium because they don't have any legal history. Some women escaped from there told the police and committed suicide days letter. Apparently Oprah has prominently featured his books and possibly even invited him onto her show. His breeding plan is almost exactly the same as Epstein's was revealed to be earlier this week. The whole thing is glowing like hell

this gonna sound embarrassing but i really need help from you anons.
i have a entry test for a college in three weeks. i have to write one english essay about myself and why i deserve that seat. english is not my native language. and i've always struggled with essay writing. im really poor at writing and my english grammar also sucks.
this admission is very important for me. this hope for getting into that collage and taking a new start is refreshing for my suicidal fucked brain.

can you anons help me to figure this out?

>>13585525
Huh, that breeding plan is mentioned in the Clark Rockefeller case too. Apparently he was planning to escape with his kidnapped kid to South America to meet some pedophile to planned to breed women in SE Asia as surrogates so they would have no maternal rights and the men could adopt them. We need to convince more of these freaks to become antinatalists.

this gonna sound embarrassing but i really need help from you anons.
i have an entrance test for a college in three weeks. i have to write an english essay about why i deserve that seat. english is not my native language. and i've always struggled with essay writing. im really poor at writing and my english grammar also sucks.
this admission is very important for me. this hope for getting into that collage and taking a new start is refreshing for my suicidal fucked brain.

can you anons help me to figure this out?

>>13585550
No, we need to bring back death squads, unironically

>>13585565
How do you feel about kneecapping?

>>13566768
I am an evil God to my characters. I kind of feel bad about it, but not really.

>>13585579
They would still be too powerful, even when crippled. They are fucking vampires, you need to just destroy them or they'll keep coming back again and again

what is it called when young people prefer to be with their large friend group rather than family to the point of completely skipping family life? You know like a complete opposite of a shut-in but also with negative consequences.

>>13585611
You don't kneecap them only to slow them down or sever limbs. You do it so you know the limping men are either drug pushers or kiddy fiddlers and you can tell the kids to run and scream if they see one.

I would be better off if my mother died in child birth. I hate her. Even as an adult, I see just how garbage of a person she is and want nothing to do with her. Her utterly transparent attempts at emotional manipulation and lack of boundaries (I'm 23 and she still goes through my things and reads my any writings I leave in my room). Her complete lack of warmth or maternal instinct. I hate, hate, hate, hate her. She's just the cunt the shitted me out, nothing more. I won't go to her funeral, and it looks like none of my siblings will either

my fucking key doesn't wok, fuck this shitty azer keyboad I got fom my fiend

I've got a really red face from a nervous tic and skin condition and I shaved my neckbeard off so I only have a moustache like this and I'm happier than I've been in a year

So, I've finally landed in the libertarian right-wing quadrant of the political compass. I've been in all of the corners politically now, and I think I'm in this one to stay. People are shitty as I've learned and mass society is completely dead. Let computers and markets take over everything, weed out the weak, give people what they want even if it kills them. Maybe you can make a profit and buy something that numbs you for a night or two

>>13586462
>azer

>>13586462
kek

How do you really know what to do in regards to transition? I don't think I'm actually trans after a lot of reflection, but the times I actually made an effort to adopt a more androgynous aesthetic were probably the happiest times in my life, I was really unstable, but at least I felt invested into he future. Even now just removing body hair give me so much relief. I hate who I am, my body, my history, how people interact with me. Is it okay to just want to become a completely different person, even your sex, for non GD related issues? I can't ever be happy as myself and feel like trying to transition is worth a shot if I'm just going to kill myself anyways

I was working in the heat yesterday and was sweaty as fuck the whole time, my shirt was drenched and sticking to my back. I woke up today and my back was a solid mass of pimples, it legitimately looks like something out of some body horror film. it doesn't hurt but I'm uncomfortable knowing it's there.

Just realized that I don't actually like anyone. Just varying degrees of dislike. I can stand children and animals because i have such low standards for them. There are maybe two or three people I've ever met that I would choose to be around

>>13587094
I like you.

>>13587101
Good for you

how do you read books X.X, I have few problems with it including:
1. unable to truly finish a book
2. forget the content or the rigorous parts,
3, attention problems
I have like 1000~ pages to read before the end of Summer and my brain cant keep up

>>13585554
I would say just try to be as honest as possible and talk about your struggles. You don't have to go into great detail but you can just make allusions as to why you struggle and why you need something like this in your life. Hopefully the person/people who look at it can appreciate the content and overlook the structural/grammatical errors.

>>13585554
depending on the type of university, and your level of Englash, you might want to consider admitting your level of English and show a willingness to learn.
most schol have ESL courses for the 1st and even 2nd years
and honestly, unless your English is retarded (which it evidently arent considering the post, people aint gonna care
believe me, the average burgers and britbong speaks worse than an fairly articulate ESL

>>13579968
Thanks man... I know it’s true but fuck it’s tough

>>13580077
This sounds interesting. Tell me more.
What about Marx's critique of capitalism, though? It doesn't seem to me as if he was wrong in any obvious sort of way.

>>13580229
Perhaps we lack a completely entropic leftist idea: not in any material sense, necessarily. It seems to me that would be a path to an attempt to solve the problem of living in modernity. Perhaps if one goes far enough left, one apoliticizes.

>>13587220
The problem is your focus is on finishing the book rather than reading it. Do you really want to read the books you're reading. If you don't, but you think you must, it becomes a psychological problem of finding enjoyment in them anyway. It's a sign of maturity to be able to appreciate things even if they don't wow you or you dislike them

>>13566768
running out of time running out of time

Summers over/adding a Theo or Philo major to my degree when I go back/ordered some books today

-see ya

I have no idea where I'm going with my life. All my interests feel vain. I don't know who I am as a person.

>I like writing unrestrained horror stories
>Decide one day to write about a woman that lures men and women to her kill room where her partner is waiting for the "toys" she brings back.
>Create richly characterized protagonists
>Create the antagonists based off how fucking evil I could make them
>As the story progresses and the protagonists finally meet the woman antagonist, I could completely envision the club, the music, the character's faces and exactly how it would play out if it was a film.
>At the climax the two antagonists kill all but two of the protagonists. The female antagonist even manages to rape a male protagonist by fellatio,
>The two serial killers manage to trap their last two "toys" in a room and it ends with them crawling through the ceiling and breaking into the room just as police rush in. The protagonists die before they could be rescued.
>After i'm finished with short story I watch the ID channel and other crime related shows to see how well I did with creating the killers.
>It's as close to real as I could get
>Pretty fucking proud and it wasn't even my best work yet.

>>13567087
Sounds like something a dumb Americunt would write. Sorry, you're not in continuity with European ethos.

I don't know how to describe this feeling other than "feeling sick".
I love my family, I love my girlfriend, I love my cat, I'm happy so many good things have happened in my life, but it will all be taken away.
Everything I love and cherish will be taken away sooner or later. The people I love will all die, they can die slow or they can die quick, but it is not going to be good or nice.
My own death is a nightmare scenario I have no chance of escaping, but when I think about living long enough to see everything you love rotting into nothingness or being violently taken away from this fucked up planet of shit, I just don't know.
This disgusting feeling never goes away, everything I love is tainted with death.
Yesterday I got black out drunk and embarrassed myself in front of my coworkers. I was in the house of one of them vomiting and feeling miserable. That feeling was there then, I was feeling like shit with myself, I started thinking about my loved ones dying and how it is one of those things that are inevitable. For the first time in my life I felt ready to die right then and there, I started mumbling stupid shit like how I wanted to shoot myself, to smear my brains all over the fucking wall and just get this shit over with, I was ready to let a train well smash my head because I don't want to live in a world were the only thing that waits me and the people I love is death.
The kind of death that is so lonely, that you see that person one day and then they are gone forever. I don't want to have children on this fucked up planet, but this is it, this is all there is. All this pain and terror and suffering is all there is. And it's maddening.
I don't want everything to fucking die. Why does it have to be like this? Why the fuck does everything have to die? Why do WE have to die like? Rotting away as our bodies decompose or getting your head smashed by a brick?
I imagine so many nightmare scenarios of how my death or the deaths of my loved ones will play out. But nothing will prepare for that moment of absolute pain and terror. NOTHING will steel me for that.
That rotten feeling of sickness is always with me. When I hug my loved ones and I tell them that I love them, when I look at my reflection in the mirror, when I see happy families walking around, I can only see death and decay and pain and misery and it's just this fucking overwhelming sadness in everything.
Sadness in everything, I think that sounds better.

>>13573860
Help yourself with a bullet to your head, Americunt. Slit your fucking throat. The vast majority of you Americans are despicable, vulgar pieces of shit.

>>13587776
>>13587785
>When a euromutt enters the thread

>>13587795
Go suck Abdul and Shlomo's dick, Americunt. Slit your throat.

>>13587807
Poor mutt's too twiggered to form a reply

>>13587486
sure, I guess, but I am trying to read books on software designs and bit technical math, u could say i HAVE to read them
but how else does one BEGIN to read other than to force some cocks in until im gay

>>13570926
Twin Peaks The Return is unironically the greatest artistic achievement of the century.

>>13566945

I want to do things to people that would make the sun grow cold with horror.

Props if you can recognize the semi quote.

>>13587779
I think it's likely that our experience of time as a linear process is merely subjective, and that in fact every moment in time exists for eternity. This thought comforts me when I find myself feeling the same dread you describe, but of course it presents a different kind of horror also.

Why do i feel as though every action that i take is one that i had not ever envisioned for myself? My day to day acts are filled with actions and reactions to events which i would have rather not have done, or would have wanted to carry out differently knowing the result. Be it the way i spoke to a female, not even so much as the way i spoke, but the subtleties of a feeling of anxiety, calm, then anxiety again. I am genuinely perplexed by my inability to act and react what i would consider "normal". Its not even so much as what you can perceive on the surface of things, but to an external onlooker, everything would appear as normal. But my internal processes are something other. Is it just me, or do people in a general sense have absolutely no control insofar as they are able to behave and react.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoaTVgvxm-M

Every so often a gust of wind will blow the strong smell of wild garlic into my room.
When I was a kid, about 7 or 8, I went on a nature walk or something with my school, to look at mushrooms and trees and so on, you get the idea. Anyway the whole place reeked of wild garlic, and on this trip I stood in a massive pile of greyish brown dog shit. The teacher had to go back to the coach and get me a pair of giant wellington boots to wear instead.
Every time I smell wild garlic now I remember that one pile of dog shit that ruined my whole damn day.

>>13566768
I think I’ve finally done it lads. It took a while, but I think it’ll stick. Wish me luck fellas.

>>13566768
I'm slowly coming to terms with my various psychological issues, not as obstacles to be overcome but quirks that I'll simply have to live with. I dislike large scale social interaction and find most people dull. I ruminate on things to the point where I am several degrees removed from daily experience, the torrential flow of thoughts taking over my senses to the point of aloofness. It's not all bad. My rich inner experience means I'm never bored but the lack of connection to meat world gives me angst. I need to find some meaningful pursuit soon, otherwise I'll go insane. I understand why all the men in my family are/were alcoholics, though I dislike alcohol's effects compared to other substances.

>>13586902
>I don't think I'm actually trans after a lot of reflection
so what the hell?
do you think getting surgery and bombarding your body with hormones will make you more stable or happy?
I think you know the answer to that question

>the times I actually made an effort to adopt a more androgynous aesthetic were probably the happiest times in my life
so go for it, change your aesthetic, just don't do things that are irreversible.

>Is it okay to just want to become a completely different person, even your sex, for non GD related issues?
of course it's not "okay", but that's what misery does to you.
consider changing your surroundings. you won't escape by trying to change who you are, but you can try and find something in life that gives you happiness, and sometimes that means leaving your current life completely.
your surroundings mold you in lots of ways, changing them might change everything. if you go somewhere new, you can be a new person because no one yet will have any established perception of you, it will all be from the ground up once again.

i have a hot gf but i just cannot stop ogling women. i turn my head when they walk past and have an ocd like tic to turn back to glimpse them several times as they walk away. on my commute i hope there’s a babe in my train car so i have someone to play eyes with. i want to fuck and i want to taste other flesh.

I want to pick up drawing or painting as an artistic outlet. I work much better on a schedule but I don't want to be too rigid so I'm not sure what I should limit myself too. Is 1 hour 4 nights a week too slow of progress?

Whatever philosophy you are preaching: if any particular thing is made up of more than three different things, no one will remember what you have written: because three things is the maximum anyone can remember about a particular thing. So try to brake every particular thing, every particular thought, down into threes. Two is below the capability of your readers, four above it. Three hits the spot. Trialism.

I can't remember the country being this tense. The whole place is lit up like I've never seen before. Worse than 9/11

Your life is a race against time. If you die you've lost. You need to get to the finish line without dying.

I feel pretty good
Probably because I'm gonna kill myself at 40-50 so I'm gonna enjoy myself because I know Im gonna go early

Ex-christians are just as annoying as their faithful siblings. Complete, utter garbage.

I am one of a million

I made sure to jerk off today so that I'm not as horny tomorrow at work.

>>13566768
i have 300 unread books in my apartment.

>>13566768
With normis now thinking internet meme culture is terrorists I wonder if I should write a Essay about how 4chan made me a better person.
I would not have stared several creative hobbies and expanded my mind so much without this place.
Although I have doubts I could change the mind of a panicking boomer.

If nature is unjust,
change nature

I have an idea for a piece but I can't decide if it should be a poem or a prose poem. I feel like a prose poem might be easier to publish (as it can be passed off as prose, which is ded but not nearly as dead as poetry proper), but the autist in me is saying that would be impure.

My diet has been absolute shit for the past couple months and I think I developed gout. Going to fix my diet and drink even more water. Started drinking soda a bit since I've been leaving the house and that's stopping. The soda. I'm trying to avoid Coca-cola products anyway. My diet involved a lot of pasta too. I think it's mainly the sugar though. I was ingesting quite a lot. Literally eating bags of chocolate chips.

No more.

Faggot aggregate
Whore horde and yoke of eunuch
Jewish nigger horn of war

what is the difference between a notebook, writing pad and an exercise book

Back to paper, I plan to read a book or two. So Glad somebody round it You should make your computer public

I can't stop thinking of getting fucked as a woman, I'm not a tranny but I can't stop thinking about it

>>13592546
2019 has been a shit year for my health. I used to care about my diet a little bit but now I just can’t be arsed and my left side goes numb and I get wicked hand cramps. I wish I was just a fatty but I’m borderline anorexic and so it’s more like I’ve been spending the last 6 months starving then binging on fast food rather than stuffing my face which probably wouldn’t have wrecked me so bad in such short time. My circulation is so bad my dick fell asleep a week ago yet I just can’t care enough to eat before I’m in pain from hunger.

>>13592666
Just out of curiosity, do you watch a lot of porn and would classify as a cumbrain?

Had a date and spent the night with a cute girl. Don't know when we'll see each other again. Don't know where this is going; kinda worries me.
Hate uni, still have almost four years of this hell. Old friend of mine started studying with me, been feeling like this might make things worse.
Still feel inadequate, sometimes it changes to spite towards some people I deal with.
All in all things are ok, if I do manage to find a job this month my life will have changed in almost all major aspects since last year, when I was a suicidal neet with no hope.
Still feels kinda empty though, but there's tons of shit to do.

>our man
>the buried life
Read both of those recently and saw myself too clearly. What a process it is to reconcile our projected self with our actual self. I spend so little time with me, how to refuse the distractions?...and the pain always just below there...
>And then we will no more be rack'd
>With inward striving, and demand
>Of all the thousand nothings of the hour
>Their stupefying power;
>Ah yes, and they benumb us at our call!
>Yet still, from time to time, vague and forlorn,
>From the soul's subterranean depth upborne
>As from an infinitely distant land,
>Come airs, and floating echoes, and convey
>A melancholy into all our day

>>13592683
I think you may need professional help.

I created the retard meme and its now spread site wide now I feel kind of guilty