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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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1356901 No.1356901 [Reply] [Original]

After drinks She leads you back to her loft where you stand at the door muttering as charmingly as you can muster how it's such a cold night and you'll most likely freeze to death if She leaves you out here, and She wouldn't do that to you would She? A few minutes later you are sitting on her couch, wondering if She has allowed you this violation because She likes you, or you are clever, or She pities you or She just wants someone for the night and you feel a little sad and worried and tired. You take a sip of the Courvoisier in your glass as She sways back to your side on the couch, having put Chet Baker to work on the record player. You spend a while trying to talk about yourself; trying to fashion some figure of comic, endearing irony out of your more interesting life moments, but it becomes clear as She rests her face closer and closer to your neck, the warm sweet, spiced feeling of Her anticipating breath, that your yammering is secondary; inconsequential. You are disappointed. It doesn't matter; you bring yourself out of this manufactured mode, you bring yourself to Her lips. It is several minutes before you find that the feeling of flatness, more intrinsic than flaccidity or impotence at this tense, taut moment, has not diminished. As She frantically works at your jeans you frantically dart your eyes across the room for an excuse, anything to stave off the dreaded moment of truth when the curtain is raised, or thrust down. Then it hits you; lying on the glass coffee table, a stack of books. Molloy, Foucault's Pendulum, The Dismemberment of Orpheus, Religion and Nothingness, Fictiones, The Anxiety of Influence. you've read 1984, lolita, dune, catch 22, lord of the rings. silently you pull up your pants. silently you sidle out the door, tears forming in your eyes.

>> No.1356906

As I walk out the door, I wonder why she only reads books that were cutting-edge decades ago. I ask if I can use her bathroom, and I take a diarrhea beer-shit in the toilet tank. I leave, giving her a kiss she didn't ask for and tell her she doesn't know who Zizek is. She asks "Who is Zizek?" "My cock," I reply.

>> No.1356910
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1356910

>>1356901
/tg/ desires more.

>> No.1356913

i don't get it

>> No.1356916

>>1356901

No, idiot, you blag about it, sleep with her, then learn enough from her to sleep with others.

>> No.1356917

>implying there exists a girl who is intellectual
oh, d&e, you almost had me there, old boy.

>> No.1356926

>>1356917
To be totally honest, I kinda have to agree with this statement, even though I hate being a true misogynist.

>> No.1356938

>>1356926
I don't think it's misogynistic, I love women but they're generally not intellectual types, I think home and child related responsibility isn't without its dignity.

>> No.1356945

I know a girl who is intellectual, and she's my gf. She came on here to ask what books to get me for Christmas and you guys told her "tits or GTFO" thanks, bros, looks like i'm getting tits for christmas again.

>> No.1356950

lol at this thread, i love this ongoing theme you use to justify your degree or w/e. but answer question from other thread:

d&e be srs, how many bros do you have irl that you hang out with.

dont be embarrassed if its low or anything since we cant tell the quality of those friendships and we won't judge you for that. even if you had 0 i dont think that would diminish the respect we have for you on here from your posts.

>> No.1356957

>>1356938
>I think home and child related responsibility isn't without its dignity.

gtfo

>> No.1356958

>>1356945
>needs to ask 4chan what to get bf for xmas
>intellectual

>> No.1356961

>>1356958
And all those guys who ask what to get for their moms and nieces and nephews and cousins and girlfriends are all non-intellectuals as well.

>> No.1356965

>>1356950
I think its 0 becaue he's on /lit/ all the fucking time. I mean constantly. plus if he's like how he is on /lit/ IRL I doubt anybody could tolerate him.

>> No.1356966

at what point does she unveil the penile bulge in her panties?

>> No.1356967
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1356967

yes my masculine identity is intertwined with what dead dudes words i put in front of my image-holes, nice try at trolling me faggot

>> No.1356971

>>1356938
Message from the nineties for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIQWt3oMids

I could never be your woman.

>> No.1356972

>>1356950

make a thread so he can stop pretending not to notice

>> No.1356977

>>1356967
>image holes
>implying the eyes are like a camera
Someone needs to read Gregory's Eye and Brain

>> No.1356983

Ok, who is chet baker and why is he working on her record player? Anyone else confused by that guy's sudden appearance in the story?

>> No.1356987

>>1356961
exactly.

>>1356965
yeah between studying, workout & school he doesnt seem to have much time left if hes on here alot.

>>1356972
i dunno lol

>>1356983
lol, answer these questions OP!

>> No.1356988

>>1356957
where would you be without your mother?
>>1356971
nostalgia'd, my friend loves this shit.

>> No.1357002

>Fictiones

>> No.1357013

>>1356988
This would be a good point, except my father wasn't much of an intellectual either.

>> No.1357028

>>1356977
>doesn't understand the use of metaphor for the sake of humor, will also die alone unloved

>> No.1357031

>>1357013
Neither was mine, I don't think being a man means you're intellectual, and women like Marie Curie, Jane Austen, the Brontes, Mary Shelley and Virginia Woolf show that none of it is mutually exclusive, but generally, men are more inclined to intellectual pursuits than females, a lot are stupid, I don't have a single male that reads, and I have one female friend that reads, everybody is equally prone to being ignorant, but it is more common to find an intellectual male than an intellectual female.

>> No.1357052

>>1357028
>bawwww

>> No.1357057

>>1357052
>▁██▁
> ಠ_ರೃ  Sex, you say. And gay?

>> No.1357071

>>1357057
This thread is now a random fantasy thread.

>> No.1357080

I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST IF I SEE YOU START THIS THREAD ONE MORE TIME, D&E, I'M NOT GOING TO INVITE YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY

GOOD FUCKING LORD. Knock it the fuck off, duder, you keep starting this thread and it's just fucking boring.

>> No.1357082

>>1357071
>*makes transformers noise w/ mouth whilst putting on moms shoes*

>> No.1357084
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1357084

>>1356966

>> No.1357187
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1357187

>>1357080
>IF I SEE YOU START THIS THREAD ONE MORE TIME, D&E, I'M NOT GOING TO INVITE YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY

>> No.1357232

She could easily arouse the most intense "flatness." I think it's impossible not to achieve an erection when there's a tongue in your ass - no matter the gender of the copulator.

>> No.1357473

>>1356901
I fucking loved this story d&e, this is one of the things I'd hope to find on lit, fuck these unoriginal talentless faggots on lit, they can go read Twilight and harry potter, I do wish you'd explain the moral of the story..

Was it just an intellectual difference? or one was and one wasn't?

>> No.1357481

>>1357473
you dumbfuck, it was just another fucking iteration of D&E Edgy Hot Counterculture Girl Troll Thread

>> No.1357496

>>1357031
if you weren't an uneducated pseudo-intellectual faggot you would have mentioned emmy noether alongside or in place of marie curie but I guess you really know nothing

>> No.1357503

>>1357481
oh... well this is the first time on on /lit/..

Woops playlist cycled back around to hell march, gonna hop back on C&C

>> No.1357511

>>1357503
Don't let these bitter lemons stop you from enjoying my superb writing

>> No.1357540

>>1357511
superb is an adequate term. doesn't get me anywhere near creamin' my pants, THOUGH I DID ENJOY IT.
d&e how old are you? and where you from?