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/lit/ - Literature


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13549487 No.13549487[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

What do you read to become a man if your parents sheltered you, gave you a weak foundation and now you're an anxious self hating mess unable to take risks and make decisions for himself to the point where you wish you were a girl and could find a dominant man to shelter you from the world?

>> No.13549490

>>13549487
Become a woman.

>> No.13549497

Moby Dick

>> No.13549500

>>13549487
>I want strong men to dominate me because my parents were bad and not because I'm gay
never gonna make it; and masculinity is a spook, when you worry about it it will run away, when you accept who you are (just b urself) it will slowly come back. But there's literally nothing wrong with having said sexual leanings

>> No.13549501
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13549501

take the pink pill

>> No.13549512
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13549512

>>13549487
Just some basic information.

OP is a discord tranny named Chijo whos little group kept on posting pink pill/HR tranny threads all over /r9k/ /pol/ and /cuteboys/. Was homeless, cut himself frequently, never passed 4th grade, extremely (as you can tell) mentally ill, and always savored for attention, especially from this side named Foxworth and another tranny named Noun. Here's a picture.

Would feel bad, but hes an attention seeker with a terrible personality.

>> No.13549535

>>13549500
I was heterosexual throughout my teens and it was only when I dropped out of higher education and started cleaning and cooking and doing what my mother told me, complete isolation from women for a few years that I gradually became homosexual after years of never being able to actualize the intense feelings and desires I had for girls I was attracted to due to having no independence whatsoever.

>> No.13549540 [DELETED] 
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13549540

>>13549487
Yo, hold up. What happened to Belle Delphine?

>> No.13549571

>>13549487

Stop blaming your parents for your problems, It's pathetic. No one pities you and no one believes you're being genuine with your plea for 'help'.

>> No.13549617

>>13549535
Some of sexuality is based off of cultural norms, but the majority is based off of genetics. You were born predisposed to homosexuality, stop fighting your own identity. Some of the most masculine individuals on earth were homosexuals

>> No.13549634

>>13549487
reading is fun and I still can supress my tranny self.

>> No.13549661

>>13549487
The book of suck dick

>> No.13549667

>>13549617
so porn addiction, feelings of worthlessness, nonsexual childhood trauma, early exposure to pornography 8-11, complete inadequacy around the opposite sex despite being intensely attracted to them, being encouraged to be docile by the institutions you attend and all of your family, lack of a father figure, unassertiveness, developing anxiety in your early teens, sexualizing your inadequacies with girls via emasculation/physical pain/degradation femdom and no longer being able to identify as a man due to being constantly manipulated and used by others around you doesn't contribute to latent homosexuality?
I just don't understand how I masturbated constantly throughout most of my teens and even in my wet/romantic dreams about girls I was never consciously aware of my predisposition towards homosexuality and had a complete lack of attraction and desire for men and even now I only feel attracted to them in an abstract sense

>> No.13549674
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13549674

>>13549487
Nothing.

Watch "if" "oh lucky man" and a bunch of Kubrick movies in a row

>> No.13549676

>>13549487
Any literature that falls into the motivation category. Especially those books that teach about responsibility. It is unfortunate that you are shaped the way you are, but that doesn't mean you cannot overcome your current situation.

If your parents didn't believe in you, doesn't mean that you shouldn't believe in yourself. You are responsible for your life.

>> No.13549691

>>13549667
Nothing you mentioned is unique to you, the only thing that stood out to me is the "emasculation" fetishes; but as you said, you could just as easily experience that with a woman. If you were truly straight, you would have no desire to be fucked by a man. There are some exceptions (like being raped by a man when young) but nothing you've said is strange or new for a person growing up in the modern age. You're just gay dude

>> No.13549692

>>13549487
The art of killing yourself
by Anon

>> No.13549718

>>13549667
You're just a pervert and an ontomogical cuckold. You abnegate your agency for sexual pleasure, in pessimism, through an inferiority complex. If you stopped masturbating and consuming pornography while turning your mind to non-sexual pursuits, you'd feel your masculinity and your warlust for life return to you. Read the biographies of the great men of history and see how far you've fallen and how gloriously they lived. This is partly why men read philosophy; as IcyCalm once said: "to see how far they've gone."

>> No.13549723

>>13549691
Why is it that I only started to experience homosexual dreams after replaying traumatic memories from a person who constantly psychologically abused me as a teen and groped/slapped me around and made me feel small/weak? I only started having these feelings after I imagined myself as a female version of myself submitting to him to try and make the dreams less fearful by sexualizing them, all the other times I had these constant nightmares for months I never had this until it got really bad despite happening a year or two before

>> No.13549741

>>13549723
If you imagined yourself as a female, there is some part of you that desires to be submissive to a stronger man. Though it sounds like you have deep mental issues that you need to hash out with a proper therapist and not this forum. If you have to force yourself to be masculine you've already lost

>> No.13549749

>>13549501
This is just the dumbest thing.

>> No.13549753
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13549753

>read to become a man
topkek

>> No.13549759

>>13549487
You're less of a mess than you think you are anon. Maybe try reading the stoics.

>> No.13549761

>>13549749
works in iran

>> No.13549765

>>13549741
>If you have to force yourself to be masculine you've already lost
This is what I feel is true yeah. I used to want to be a man, felt good about being a male and looked at myself and wanted physical strength but now I just want to feminise myself.
How can you tell if you're truly gay or bisexual if your sexuality has changed this much? Do you deserve to be with women if you're a faggot all other things aside?
How do you cope with being a latent homosexual/bisexual faggot?
How do you cope with missing out on teenage love aside from infatuations and cope with missing out on experiences with girls while you were still a heterosexual and this hadn't developed yet?
How do you cope with not being able to think about anything other than deep regret about not being put on hormones aged 8 if this was your true nature all along and actually being able to live a fulfilling life instead of deluding yourself into thinking you were heterosexual because of early puberty and looking masculine for your age?

>> No.13549768

>>13549718
You sound as much into "great men" as the fag you're replying to

>> No.13549769

>>13549723
You know why. Because instead of facing danger, you acquiesce to it through your perversity, submitting yourself to it, in order to conjoin with it, since you feel as though you cannpt gain it any other way; you try to absorb it. This is wrong and unworthy of a man.

You are not a woman or a child anymore. It is regrettable that, like anonymous said, life shaped you in this manner. But your temporal circumstances do not touch your timeless spirit, which is descended from God. Essential Masculinity is more about reason, self-control and judgement, not physicality. Therefore, you should begin to act in ways that
1. Facilitate your indepedence
2. Establish and reaffirm your personal boundaries
3. Expose yourself to and confront things that you fear.

When you revisit your traumatic memories you are to do so with a clear and objective rationale, and conclude judgement from contemplation.

>> No.13549777

>>13549768
I am constructive. You are not.

>> No.13549778

>>13549723
I suggest searching for books written by Gabor Mate, he is a physician who deals with stress and childhood traumas and how you can work it out. This is because unless you solve the childhood issues, you cannot move forward. There are some interesting seminaries on YouTube as well. Here is one. If you have time, watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6IL8WVyMMs

>> No.13549802

>>13549512
I have no problem with the concept of trannies per se, but whenever I see these fucking people in photos and real life, they always look fucking terrible

At least if you're gonna represent femininity, be attractive. Most of these half-assed trannies look pathetic and disgusting

>> No.13549807

>>13549487
A Job application. That or The republic.

>> No.13549809

>>13549765
>How can you tell if you're truly gay or bisexual if your sexuality has changed this much?
Who cares? If it turns you on it turns you on, you shouldn't need a hard definition of your own sexuality to exist. Normal people don't think "Does this image that turns me on align with the predetermined sexuality I have assigned myself?"
>How do you cope with being a latent homosexual/bisexual faggot
How do you cope with having two hands and two feet?
>How do you cope with missing out on teenage love aside from infatuations and cope with missing out on experiences with girls while you were still a heterosexual and this hadn't developed yet?
You were born after the times of napoleon and caesar, you will never experience 99.99999% of all events to ever happen.. Who gives a fuck? You're alive right now, how would dwelling in the past help you feel better right now? If you don't feel the need to "cope" for missing all of history then you shouldn't feel the need to "cope" that you didn't awkwardly fuck a 14 year old in high school. (It's not that enjoyable, trust me)
>How do you cope with not being able to think about anything other than deep regret about not being put on hormones aged 8 if this was your true nature all along and actually being able to live a fulfilling life instead of deluding yourself into thinking you were heterosexual because of early puberty and looking masculine for your age?
Why do you need to transition? Why is everything such a binary? Why can't you just be a dude who likes to get fucked? I don't understand why you're being so autistic about this, there are plenty of "feminine" gay men who act like women and like to be taken care of without actually being female. Sexual roles aren't always black and white, stop being such an /r9k/ retard

>> No.13549822
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13549822

>>13549802
I hope the surgery gets better for latecomers so they can all look good without being on HRT from 18

>> No.13549858

>>13549809
>Why do you need to transition? Why is everything such a binary? Why can't you just be a dude who likes to get fucked? I don't understand why you're being so autistic about this, there are plenty of "feminine" gay men who act like women and like to be taken care of without actually being female
Because all of the things that make up my person i.e. personality, emotions and your mind in general are things which are tolerated or even desired in women like avoiding confrontation, easily hurt by others opinions, constantly worried about how others perceive you, fussing over your appearance, easily intimidated by others, always wanting to give up responsibility, never really having any values, ethics, convictions, strong religious beliefs, not understanding manful competition, always looking to someone else to argue whatever you think is true, having an overall submissive neurotic bottom energy that is immediately obvious due to your body language and being unable to hide it e.g. can only feel safe if you look down, look as nonthreatening as possible, not bother anyone, make the minimum amount of noise possible, visibly nervous, allow others to verbally harass you or lightly physically abuse you without doing anything back because you are too emotionally weak to stop them, feel incredibly warm and happy if someone compliments you or if they are simply polite to you, often experience so much heart pounding crippling fear you have no anger whatsoever towards others as you always internalize everything just frustration at yourself and a fear of things getting even worse, often think of having someone emotionally and mentally resilient to take care of you and in turn making them happy, naive, neurotic, high negative emotion, lacking a father figure and had an overbearing mother, wide eyed/prey eyes, self hating, masochistic, low emotional/psychological resilience in general, care about everyones opinions on them, care about being accepted by everyone around them if they be nice as possible and make themselves look as nonthreatening as possible, can't think for themselves or are highly influenced by their environment and the people around them even though they aren't a child anymore, extremely impressionable, react to conflict by feeling scared and anxious and trying to be as kind as possible etc

Also for aesthetic reasons, I figure if I'm going to be a faggot I wish I had been given the chance at becoming a passable girl because of all of this. I would've conformed and been accepted by society at large because I have always been conditioned to seek validation from others due to oversocialization. There is nothing worse than a feminine adult male with all of these traits. I would've welcomed the physical changes to my body

>> No.13549908

>>13549858
All that wall of text just says you're a feminine dude. It doesn't matter what you "wish" had happened, because life isn't a fucking Cinderella fairy tale, the past is in the past, you have no power over it and it is therefore an absolute waste of time and effort to dwell on it. Before you make any serious changes to your life seek out a therapist, you clearly need it

>> No.13549931
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13549931

>>13549858
very few of the things in your stupidly long list are special. many many masculine guys feel many of them. being a man is often about pretending to not feel these things, which ofc comes with its own set of mental health issues, but with a lower suicide rate than transgender

you write about having naturally submissive body language. i know many dudes, who would be called 'Chad' by posters on this board, who have consciously practised confident body language over many years, along with things like forcing themselves to competitively argue even when they don't care or feel insecure, forcing themselves to seem uncaring about compliments, practising consciously stopping tears, etc.

when i was like twelve i was convinced my pain threshold was too low, so i cut myself while trying not to wince. i did this several times. a friend of mine, who holds a very powerful position in a company rn, described to me when he was at a similar age and was ashamed of being scared of the dark, so he climbed out of his bedroom window and wandered his countryside neighbourhood (i.e. streetlights turn off at midnight) alone, while concentrating on acting fearless.

masculine gender performance is predicated on the same insecurities that you write about, but you are too cowardly to confront them.

you inherit your parents' traumas but you needn't cling to them.

>> No.13549937
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13549937

>>13549487
>imagine when she hits the wall.. Wtf is she gonna do? Feminine beauty(worth) is truly transitory.

>> No.13549953

>>13549937
I'm sure most women land a man as soon as they begin to lose their beauty

>> No.13549960

>>13549953
Sounds like a scam desu..

>> No.13549981

>>13549960
women are a scam

>> No.13550364

Masculinity is a legitimately spooked concept. Anyone defining what being a man is to you is trying to manipulate and use you.

>> No.13550373

cunny

>> No.13550392

I'm writing it right now.

>> No.13550592
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13550592

This unironically helped me a lot in my aimless formative years. Helped to build my love of literature and the classics.

>> No.13550601

It's just anime's glorification of femininity. Stop watching nip garbage OP.

>> No.13551401

>>13549858
It could be your nature or it could be a result of trauma.

I never wanted to be a girl, but I was a feminine and submissive guy in my teens, early twenties. It changed dramatically after I reconnected with my father a few years ago and slowly worked through guilt that I felt about spending time with him or even just talking with him on the phone (thanks to years of indoctrination by my mother).

The change was rapid and pretty much effortless. It's like a different kind of energy was suddenly open to me. I didn't need to force or convince myself. I even remember thinking, when I started noticing changes, that if I were to stay a feminine submissive guy all my life - that would have actually been ok with me as long as I knew it was my true nature, as long as I knew that I'm not denying my nature because of my mother or anything like that. And then I was like, alright I don't wanna overthink it, I don't wanna force myself to be masculine OR feminine as a coping mechanism and I just sort of tried to let go of any control as much as I could - and fast forward five years I'm much more at ease with my masculinity now than ever before. I remember telling my therapist two or so years ago that it was the first time in my life when I was really happy and proud of being a guy, I'm really enjoying it.

EMDR really helped with guilt. If it weren't for EMDR I don't think I'd ever have enough courage to tell my mother to shut up and stop telling me what to think or feel about my father. It is still work in progress, by the way. My mother and grandmother are really fucking suffocating and they did their best, even if unintentionally, to make me as afraid, docile, and domesticated as possible. Now I'm no longer depressed or apathetic or passive, but I've got a lot of anger coming out, over the past two years, a hell of a lot of anger, anger all the fucking time, but it sure is better than spending all day inside watching porn as I used to.

>> No.13551426

>>13549487
Books can't transform you in such a way. Best to have lots of gay sex, hopefully with gruff, leather daddies.

>> No.13551448
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13551448

>> No.13551460
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13551460

>>13549487
>"if your parents blah blah blah..."

first step of becoming and adult is to stop blaming others for your inadequacies. Then wash your penis and tidy your room

>> No.13551464

>>13549617
Ah yes i see how this works.
If you're heterosexual it's because of conditioning.
If you're gay it's an innate characteristic of your very being.

>> No.13551484

>>13549931
>consciously stopping tears
Does a man really need to do this? I haven’t cried since I was 13, I just don’t need to. What would be the point anyway? I see crying as like a childish reflex that goes away when you no longer depend on your parents emotionally.

>> No.13551505

>>13551484
Alcohol can make a man cry.

>> No.13551529

Was having nervous, compulsive urges to fap to cuck shit and feminization porn until i started building some self control and self esteem. I noticed that i only did these things when i was feeling awful and that all they did was make the feeling worse. They've gone away over time.

>> No.13551546

>>13549487
Stop blaming your parents. If you're an adult, i.e. over the age of 18, you are responsible for your own problems and blaming other people for things that are in YOUR hands to solve, makes you an absolute pussy

>> No.13551662

>>13549487
Not sure about being gay part, but basically you want to man the fuck up.
Reading will not help you with that. You need to leave the house and get involved with people, especially chad men who can be your role models.
From my own experience I was very much like you (except gay part), one day I joined martial arts club, the instructor was based, I was a member for about 5 years. During those 5 years I got kicked and punched thousands of times, as well I as kicked and punched other people. Unlimited amount of T was released into my system and I met other people, masculine men, being around them I slowly started emulating them, my fighting skill got better and my hierarchy in the group improved. At some point I stopped emulating them and become one of them.
Thats the thing, you can read about it, but reading wont help, you have to go out there and experience it.

>> No.13551681

>>13551529
And by the way, my testosterone was always at good levels. I had it checked.

>> No.13551722

>>13549718
rec some biographies anon

>> No.13551789
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13551789

>>13549487
wtf dude, here read this as soon as possible.

>> No.13551820

>>13549512
You seem to know a strange amount about them.

>> No.13551910

>>13549487
Is that a trap?

>> No.13551911

>>13549487
>>13549501
>>13549512
>>13549667
>>13549822
The internet was a mistake

>> No.13552017
File: 156 KB, 1242x1394, chad is laughing at you.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13552017

life stuff aren't hard to learn.
i was also sheltered by my parents until life kicked me in the gut.
my tip to you if you are new is to observe, learn and be neutral, always listen close and if you want someone to trust you copy their speech style and "monkey see monkey do" rule is one of the best things to do when you don't know wtf is going on.
don't be afraid because the range of what is considered to be normal is a lot wider than you think.
i am not chad by any means but i can manage myself

>> No.13552145

>>13551789
communism is based off of the Judaism which is inherently maternal and feminine. that wont teach him how to be a man.

>> No.13552153

>>13552145
Bullshit

>> No.13552189

>>13549487
>gave you a weak foundation and now you're an anxious self hating mess unable to take risks and make decisions for himself to the point where you wish you were a girl and could find a dominant man to shelter you from the world?

Nothing you read will help, for when you see the truth you will shun it.

>> No.13552196

>>13552153
EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHARE BECAUSE OF MY FEELINGS!! EXCEPT I GET MOST OF THE MONEY BECAUSE IM SPECIAL!

How does this not sound feminine and Jewish to you?

>> No.13552198

>>13552189
I take that back, I would start with the anime TV show Gurren Lagann. Maybe you can pick up some self-confidence.

>> No.13552207

>>13552145
based

>> No.13552208

>>13552196
>How does this not sound feminine and Jewish to you?

It doesnt sound feminine and Jewish to me because it sounds like it's a strawman argument presented by a pathetic rat who is too greedy and petty to ever consider the needs of his fellow man.

It is in the nature of the Father to provide for his family. If providing to your fellow men is such an alien concept to you then you are no more than a worm.

>> No.13552212

Mediations by Marcus Aurelius

>> No.13552238

>>13552208
read anything by anton long/ONA

>> No.13552247

>>13552208
the state isnt your father, retard. Holodomor shows how well communism provides food its "family". the Jewish Bolsheviks arent my fellow men or family. they are a plague to all of mankind.

>> No.13552288

>>13552247
Note how the lowly worm automatically presumes itself to be beneath others, how it expects to be provided for.

Communism can never work because the worms rightly point out how they cannot depend upon men to protect them. It is only once you leeches have been eradicated that communism among men may exist, where brother provides for brother with no thought for himself.

>> No.13552421

>>13549634
Your "self" is not tranny. You have learned trannyness from porn and the internet. Stoo watching porn and you will stop having tranny desires.

>> No.13552524

>>13552421
100% b&r

>> No.13552680

>>13549667
Lol, I've been jerking off to loli since I was 11 and I get my dick sucked on the reg. Try learning how to make people comfortable around you

>> No.13552690

>>13552680
Being a pedophile isn't abnormal.

>> No.13552703

>>13552690
Bro I've jerked off to dogs gore and shit. Literally does not matter. Just keep it to yourself and follow other people's lead in social settings. Like, if someone says hey wanna watch this movie or play this game just do that and eventually they'll say hey wanna fuck around or something and boom you're in

>> No.13552712

>>13552703
Also had abusive parents lol, the state paid for my last two years of college for it. Though it's possible that you may be so poisoned with resentment that you're better of dead

>> No.13552717

>>13549769
>unhypocritally calling someone an ontological pervert
>acting as a Lacanian epistemic master
Can't have both

>> No.13552722

>>13552703
Like do not you not interact with people who aren't you're family ever? You know when people talk to you it's really easy to pay attention and ask questions about details that interest you the most? Like today a coworker was talking about taking his dogs to the beach and I didn't give a fuck but I wasn't doing anything and I asked him what kinda dogs he had and he said he had boston terriers and I fucking love boston terriers and we talked about the tricks and shit they do. Boom. Interaction. Just do it like a lot and eventually you'll stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself

>> No.13552732

>>13552722
never kissed anyone til I was 19 lol so that high school shit doesn't matter and honestly people who developed their sense of how relationships work from it are absolutely miserable to date

>> No.13552781

work out and get a job. Read later.

>> No.13553316

unironically the (non protestant) bible

>> No.13553423

>>13552722
>>13552732
Are you responding to yourself here?
I'm not the OP. You obviously don't have half the issues he has, and even if you did then you aren't effected the same way, the only thing you can say is "works on my machine".
So fuck off with your BEYOND vapid comments. If i wanted to read comments like this i'd go to facebook.

>> No.13553447

>>13553423
our machines are not so different though, if we look at the right level

>> No.13555587

>>13549487
Lilli Lovedoll, in case anyone's wond'ring

>> No.13555685

>>13549858
Bro, just get on testosterone and start lifting. Get in to marital arts as well. All that shit you listed will go away. Good post though, that really sums up a lot of things

>> No.13555715

>>13550364
Just because a lot of people do that don't mean that everyone do that. Your post is basically saying that masculinity can't be explained. That is not right. A lot of people have good thoughts on that subject.

>> No.13556583
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13556583

>>13553447
>>13552732
>>13552722
>>13552712
>>13552703
>>13552680

wtf am I reading

>> No.13556772

>>13550364
Masculinity is dumb if it's not about virtues, if it's just about being buff and aggressive then it's trash

>> No.13556851

Roman History

>> No.13556857
File: 58 KB, 700x467, 6793154-3x2-700x467.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13556857

Okay, OP is mentally ill, but help me out, friends
How can I be more confident and approach girls sexually? I'm a social eunuch and I WANT TO FUCK

>> No.13556868
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13556868

>>13549753
bro...

>> No.13557003

>>13549778
second this and don't ask 4chan for advice it will set you back years

>> No.13558475

>>13549674
ATAM..........

>> No.13559812

>you will never be a passable girl
How do tranny faggots cope?

>> No.13560087

>>13549858
I would recommend you see a therapist and read No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover Also read books on assertiveness boundaries.

>> No.13560333
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13560333

>>13551484

I cried when Nasim died.

>> No.13560347

>>13549501
>trad
>can’t bear any children
How is this trad?