/lit/ - Literature

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>>13453478
>new phone who dis

>>13453478
"Yes. This is Leonid speaking. Leonid Brezhnev. I'm a little busy right now, you understand? I'm busy right now, a little busy right now. Can this wait? No Mr. Reagan. Yes Mr. Reagan I'm committed. Just...give me a moment here. Yes. Yes I understand. Now hold on."
Brezhnev frowned. In that moment it seemed as if his eyebrows merged into a single piece of black tape across his forehead. "Sonia! Bring me another one!" He continued the call.
"Understandable Mr. Reagan. Yes. Yes it's hot in here. That's right, in Russia. You wouldn't believe. Excuse me." He lit a cigarette. "Now then. Where were we?"
Across the world, Ronald Reagan heard a faint puff of air, a miserable sigh, self-important but not robust.

>>13453537
plz go on

>>13453478
"I miss you, Jeremy."
Marcus Apolopogus felt his heart in his throat as he waited for a response. His thick jet-black brows were speckled with beads of sweat, his shorts were soaked. There was still no answer, Marcus tried again.
"Jeremy?"
Marcus heard breathing on the line, he knew the call went though. He thought about hanging up the phone but before he did, a voice came from the receiver.
"I miss you too, Jeremy"
Marcus's heart skipped a beat.

>>13453537
quite based, continue.

"NANI? What do you mean they dropped the sushi on the floor then still served it to the Emperor. Kojei and Yukio are going to get their thumbs cut off again. No I am not at the natatorium! I'm in my office doing paper work." Norio yelled into the phone that wasn't even plugged into the wall.

Moshi moshi

>>13453478
"Blajausk dko go rtjabbdo lnajdos skraboo so"
We are about to witness the elder Jews speaking in their true native tongue. Decades of science and philosophy have made attempts to unscramble and understand the language of these creatures but we have not come close. In the photo above we see a prime specimen. Known in the pack as Ira Goldberg, he stands at 5 foot 9 and is 736 years old.

>>13453478
Old fart makes a fart sitting in his bed
Felt a squish on his dick, he ruined his bed

>>13453478
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0EkDdSP8xuN

>>13453478
The man's corpulence jiggled as he retrieved the phone- "Yes, who is this?"
A wheedling Indian accent responds, "Hello, is this the head of household?"
"Fuck curry."
The Indian hangs up after a period of silence, and the man scoops another spoonful of curry-slathered Basmati rice into his Slavic maw.

>>13454949
>https://vocaroo.com/i/s0EkDdSP8xuN
Nobody said cringe or BASED Zoomer or boomer...

>>13453537
Anons, why is this good writing when compared to other things in the thread? I can see that it is, but I can't exactly explain why.

>>13455508
The old guy in the op is saying that

>>13453537
Bravo.

>>13455582
It's a parody of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6T2uBeiNXAo

>>13456097
The picture is Brezhnev, leader of the USSR, wearing no clothes save his underwear, talking on the phone, with an ashtray nearby. His lack of clothes imply the middle of a sexual encounter, or great heat, or both. The glass wall implies some sort of fancy setting. This is a man of power basking in an environment of apathetic hedonism: he may have state responsibilities, but at this moment, he couldn't give a fuck. So I wrote a scene based on the image just like OP asked. Not a Strangelove reference.
>>13453564
>>13453645
>>13455582
>>13455838
thx for your support based anons

>>13453478
"Why yes, I am interested in your credit repair service" Mr. Rocilli said to the telemarketer in an enthusiastic voice. The Indian man on the other end of the line giggled silently to himself and continued "very good sir, you are making an excellent decision, next I just need your credit card and social security information to get you signed up." The Indian man salivated, imagining the joy on his parents face when he would tell them about his victory later tonight. He began to sway back and forth in his office chair. His cubicle, located in a small delapidated office building in central India should've been condemned years ago. The office itself was jam packed with other Indian scammers and had a strong smell of curry and body oder. The phone went silent. "Hello, sir? HELLO!!" The Indian man yelled desperately. The short moment the Indian man took to congratulate himself was just enough time for Mr. Rocilli, an old fat pervert, to completely lose focus on the free credit repair services he had been offered. Mr. Rocilli, now completely fixated on the young girls playing in the street in their white tank tops, hung up the phone. The sad Indian man sighed loudly, swallowed an unusually large amount of his own saliva, and pressed on to his next unlikely victim.