/lit/ - Literature

Is it really mathematics that's so mysterious and mysteriously objective, or is it geometry and basic geometrical relations? It seems like the Greeks had geometry long, long before anyone cared about number and numerical measurement. They did everything logically, with abstract ratios and relations. It also seems as if they (like others) rebelled against the close relating of number and geometry at the moment that number started returning "strange" results, like negative quantities, null quantities, and especially irrationals and infinitesimals. They found the latter disgusting.

But are all these maybe just artefacts of arbitrary counting systems? Could there be counting systems or "number languages" that better handle things like infinitesimals and irrationals? Or better reconcile them with geometry, which remains "real" even when it's abstract (meaning, you can't picture pi, but you can picture a circle)? Could you have a number language that is better, or even perfect, when it comes to not shitting out irrational or infinitely repeating sums?

Even more strange: What the fuck does it mean about cognition that we can picture ideal shapes when they don't exist in nature, and even more than that, we can refer to those ideal shapes even when we find it difficult to picture them? Even bad visualizers just "know" what an ideal triangle is, instantly. What is the ontological status of ideal geometrical forms? Are they a form of intuition only? Are they proof that we are participating in the divine mind, because the "real" ideal forms underlying particular imperfect ones don't exist in the material world, but only in our minds and in god's?

I think instead of trying to write a bunch of short stories or a novel about my time in the underground music scene, I'm just going to write semi erotica about all the tinder dates I've been on and how I'm paranoid 90% were MOSSAD agents

>>13316940
Sunscreen sunscreen sunscreen

I wish that the absolute truth of what gender is became more apparent.

>>13317377
Superstructure built on biological sex. You're welcome ;)

Aging is hitting me a lot harder and sooner than I ever expected. Really fucking sucks, my girlfriend is eight years older than me and I still look more mature like an adult than her. Wish I could have the benefits of testosterone without any of the drawbacks. Kind of jealous of how women pretty much look the same as they did when they were children (plus a few fat deposits), like they have more continuity of personhood and can have a childlike perspective for longer. I don't think they realize how good they have it, or maybe they do and are constantly looking for ways to justify their position

>>13316624

what's on my mind

>>13317605
*Still look like more of an adult

>>13317377
The paradox is that you would think it would require a phenomenology of femininity, but women are incapable of practicing phenomenology because they think in fluid demi-concepts and can't intend real essences or abstractions. But the whole thing one wants to get at it with a phenomenology in the first place is exactly this radical difference in consciousness that makes phenomenology impossible for women. It's frustrating.

The dissolution of mainstream culture in America may be an important hint as to why the 2010's turned out the way it did. You can have no effective subcultures in a society where the monoculture is not felt - this is why audiences in collectivist societies like Japan and Northern Europe latched on so firmly to Rock and Metal. Protest music was a phenomenon in the 50's and 60's (to Americans), but the failure of the Vietnam war ruined public perception of music as a vehicle for change, and so from thereon, popular music could only serve as a fashion statement. It is no wonder that grunge spread like wildfire when it released, because those synth fueled power ballads and adult listening artists seemed to promise the truest emotion, and yet gave us the least. Now in a time where a former subculture has exploded into the spotlight and taken over the Top 40, we have to think what this means about the state of the culture, and consider if something has gone wrong.

Sorry to derail this into music, but it's the only terms I'm familiar with. I want to answer a lot of things about America that I really can't - at least not yet.

>>13317605
>d have the benefits of testosterone without any of the drawbacks. Kind of jealous of how women pretty much look the same as they did when they were children (plus a few fat deposits), like they have more continuity of personhood and can have a childlike perspective for longer. I don't think they realize how good they have it, or maybe they do and are constantly looking for ways to justify their position
does she put on sunscreen?

I'm tired of being worried about my mental health. I'm worried I'm a narcissist, I'm worried I might be developing schizophrenia, I'm worried that my childhood trauma has fixed my brain to be perpetually self-defeating.

I can create these deep and vivid stories in my head that move me to tears, but I get so lost in them that I don't even see what's in my field of view. I wish I could indulge myself in these stories as I write them out, but it always breaks my immersion. I feel too strongly many of my emotions, and people often take advantage of my nature. I truly see good in all people, and everyone is capable of changing to be the better version of themselves I see in them, but they keep choosing not to. They hold on to their toxic traits with such vehemence, it fills me with disdain to see them so unwilling to be wrong that they will throw away betterment. I was once told I was a jaded sentimentalist and that phrase resonates strongly with me.

It takes hours for me to climax when I masturbate. I love the complicated stories of falling deeply in love. Meeting someone in a class, helping her with homework, seeing her slowly becoming more and more attached to the time we spend together. She acts dumb just so she can spend more time with me. I would tell her how she could just be upfront about her feelings. Sometimes the fantasy goes down a path I don't want it to. She becomes bitter, claiming how insensitive I was being. I would become defensive and hostile in tone. Such an intense and negative verbal conflict where we do all we can to harm each other the most with words. I've been limp for the better part of a half hour and I still play this tragic story to the end of the semester. I don't know why I have a hard time controlling my thoughts when involving myself in these creative stories, they just play out like a movie before me.

I talk in these rambling ways as well, primarily as cope to wander away from the topic I wish strongly to avoid discussing. Something about mental illness. I would like to write a story in which the main character tells a story to a woman he wishes to impress, but the story he concocts doesn't appear to end. He would captivate her with this story, the night would end, and she would nearly beg for him to speak more. He agrees as he loves enthralling beautiful women. She was far above his league, daughter of some old money family, he a mere college professor. The more he tells of this story, the more she searches for this old tale. She eventually talks to people she normally wouldn't just to see who else knows this tale, but no one does. The professor keeps telling these stories with painfully obvious messages woven in, but she doesn't get them, so he keeps crafting this complex story to try and teach her, but she just wants to get to the ending, to learn it for learning's sake. I'm not sure how the story will end, but it's a work in progress. Idk if I should ever publish, I don't feel like it's authentic work if I do.

>>13318359
I didn't expect exactly 3000 characters, but it worked out lmfao. I wanted to talk more, but I got away from the bad feelings for now. Idk, I guess I'm just lonely or something, people don't like talking to me, they keep saying I'm intimidating, which I hate. I don't try to look intimidating, I don't even know how to change that look.

>>13318359
Sounds like Scheherezade

>>13318196
Yeah I think so. Doesn't really help a receding hairline though

>>13316624
I chose a non sexualized life.
As a young man I know it will be hard and humiliating but I feel like a necessary step to reach peace of mind.
Perhaps the hardest part will be depriving myself of love and intimacy but if I can live without sexual urges and be in peace it's worth it.
The shame I feel for my past self's empty over sexualized life will be my companion for all my life but I welcome it if I'll be able to bear it and do something meaningful with myself or at least live a healthy well balanced existence .

>>13316940
>I'm paranoid 90% were MOSSAD agents

reddit

>>13320092
>not being paranoid about Sayeret Matkal
never going to make it

>>13320103

>>13316624
currently im training my replacements. im not sure what to do when im free.

I would like to get into urbanism or transit or development but i have no idea how. Im sick of doing things i dont like for work. im pretty poor but I could handle fewer comforts if it meant i could have more time to do what i want. wagecuck life has killed me over the last few years and im ready to opt out.

I was always told I would likely get cancer but it never felt real to me. I didn't expect to get melanoma so young but in a way I'm glad. I have been stagnating for a while, but now I've been writing every day. It's early so I should be alright, but the fear that someday it'll really catch up with me is a great motivator. I just hope they won't take too much of my arm. The scar is fine, but nerve damage feels horrible.

>>13316624
Can I really respect myself if I don't contribute anything to society? Society is flawed, and being part of the machine terrifies me, but doing nothing, sat here in my home, how can I not feel like anything less than scum? Everyone tells me it's okay, that I'm trying, that my trauma and mental illnesses make it hard for me. But I don't feel that. I feel like I'm pretending, that my illnesses are all mental, so I should just suck it up- I feel like I should be able to, and I'm afraid I'm just pretending, that I'm just lazy and scared. Sometimes I wish I'd have a horrible disease or physical deformity just so I'd have a legitimate reason to be the way I am. I feel the yawning dread that I'm worthless, that I wasted my life, that it's already over, and I blew it, because I'm just too weak and lazy to do better.

I live a life of luxury compared to most people on earth, and I contribute nothing. I hate myself, and every day starts and ends with the awful crippling despair that I have accomplished nothing, that I'm worth nothing and that I don't deserve anything.

I just want to feel like I'm worth something. How can I be worth anything if I don't do anything? I write and write until I can't stay awake anymore just so I do anything, but it's all trash, it's all garbage, and I'm just pretending to exist at all.

I shouldn't be here. How can I exist if my life is filled with nothing? I hate myself and I'm so sorry. I'm scared.

Now I'm sitting here, crying, on 4chan, more miserable now, because I know I won't do anything today, either.

just finished my 20th book, not counting school

Do economic recessions only occur because of modern tertiary economies that have offshored industry to foreign countries and now rely on selling products and services to themselves?

my past friends may either care or not care that i'm dead because of their socialization.

>>13321031
normie "relationships" truly are horrifying

How can you deal with being ugly without coping?

i only just realised how easy poetry is to memorise.
you should all memorise a poem today (you'll probably never forget it). i'm doing to lucia at birth by robert graves

>>13316624
I need to work out kill me

>>13321125
Take the anti-cope pill. It's bitter

>>13321228
more on this?

IMAGINE being a philosopher, composer, writer or statesman after
>based Kant
>based Bach
>based Goethe
>based Frederick
imagine thinking you can do better than them
I laugh at everyone that isn't German

>>13316624
We’ve been to long without global catastrophe. Don’t think it will happen in my lifetime (I have about 30 years left), but I worry my kids and grandkids (at the latest) will experience first hand the greatest manmade tragedy and horror in our planet’s history.
Also, I regret not trying sex with men before being married to my wife. Seems kinda hot.

>>13321309
>"The first page of his I read put me in his debt for a lifetime"
-Goethe

It makes me sad that there are people alive right now without my consent. *I* should be the one to decide who lives and who dies.

I wish I had a fucking MP40. Then I would teach the world some manners.

>>13321353
yeah well you don't

>>13321353
Edgy teen detected.

>>13316624
Just had dinner after traning.
Now I'm enjoying an healthy glass of wine and chilling with my dog.
Life is good for now.

If it wasn't for times like this, life wouldn't be worth living.

>>13321302
Just learn to stop caring. And learn to stop coveting beautiful people. Invest your energies in what you can change and improve about yourself.

When I was a child and we played "Indian Jones" on the playground, I always wanted to be Marcus Brody. What the fuck kind of kid would want to be Marcus Brody? Not sure what the significance of that is, but I'm sure it means something important

>>13321648
That's quirky, but Marcus Brody was extremely friendly and extremely loyal. There are much worse things to be.

I browse the archives.
Why do I browse the archives?

How the hell do I meet people. How can I walk past hundred of people everyday and not just interact with some.

Are other people the same? It feels like something is happening everywhere that I'm not.

>>13321648
People were always mean to me in childhood and I got in trouble and the teacher was a goddamn hook nosed kike. What kind of fucked up school lets a goddamn mongrelized semite teach fucking classes and ut pure aryans in trouble. It makes me fuckign sick to my stomahc

>>13321648
how do you play indiana jones?

>>13321710
pretty much just follow the leader around the playground and do obstacles, shit was decades ago

>>13320518
Ever or this year?

>>13321710
I used to play Indiana Jones. It involved a lot of thorny bushes and rolling through dirt.

>>13316624
I sometimes feel there are only 5-10 people who use 4chan and it’s all a trap.

>>13321729
ever, ole boy

>>13321781
Good work keep going

>>13316687
baste

>>13321777
Yeah, and they're all ignoring me. I'm getting complexes.

>>13321791
already on #21, old bean

>>13321814
i'm not.

>>13321777
>he doesn't know

>>13321777
traps are gay

>>13321825
thanks man.

>>13321853
Does this mean traps themselves are homosexuals or men who love traps are homosexuals? Or neither? Or both?

Making a distinction between people too stupid or stubborn to understand liberalism (Naive conservatives) and people who understand and disagree with liberalism (Capital C Conservatives) would greatly clear up political lines of demarcation

>>13316624
Great poster for an absulutely underrated movie

All I want from life is to be with my piao liang waifu and for all of my enemies to be exterminated. If that happened tomorrow, I would die a happy man.

>>13316624
Fucking hell i was just about to nail this ending to this screenplay but FUCK ME why did i have to overanalyse this bullshit. Wellwhatever im usually right when im overanalyzing anyway. So basicly right now the protagonist doesnt get the "glory" of being the hero and i dont think it really works on this story since its supposed to be very "troupish" and light-hearted and i dont think its okay or even good for the audience to SEE the sidekick kill the monster while everyone else is doing something we dont understand right? Yeah, i think thats the case. I think i need to stretch out the ending and give it more pendulum, momentum for a swing and then still end it the same way i've planned for right now. So only 10 pages to stretch in right? Or something. So 10 pages to make the Monster Peek-a-boo to do some work and yap some exposition or something in there i dunno, why the FUCK are last acts so HARD?! I never nail this shit because i never come up with an ending FIRST. Except in the first story where i literally built everything backwards and thats why it works. When i finish this i just have to make three more treatments and i can move on to find agent or manager or whatever and actually try to build a okay now im just venting this shit in here because im angry at myself and at my work - i was expecting to finish this like two weeks ago or something FUCK why im here?

But is it stupid to stay away from you, even though i might love you? I’ve hurt you twice before, and now you wish for death. I can turn that around if i want, i do, but that’s not all i want. There’s more to life than you, and yet, is there? I was the happiest in three years. Yet somehow that feeling in my heart pushed me away twice again. Your presence is they only thing to ever have brought me to panic. But perhaps that’s all my fault, no? My inability to express what i want and feel. It hard to do so if you do not know consciously. It’s so much easier to just stay away from you. So much easier. And I’ve entered a new era of motivation for me, things are really improving. Perhaps it’s best to stay away from the material pleasures of love. Though, do they not also expand the soul? Or the mind, whatever. They way your self worth depends on my liking you is scary. It’s too much pressure, i mean, just me leaving you has caused you to fall back into depression. Or perhaps it was merely concealed by my presence. That might not be a bad thing. Perhaps i should be less selfish. I can really mean something for you.

>>13321879
the latter

>>13321879
Neither

I feel trapped. Cornered. Caged into the confines of the consequences of my own lack of actions.
All of my life is just the culmination of laziness on my part. All of my life is just a big sham, a disappointment to those around me. I have no real skills, i have no real hobbies, i quickly lose interest in all i pursue as soon as i feel i've got a grip on the basics. I'm a total dopamine monkey, drunk on the feeling of wellness to the point of absolute neglience.

The only one thing i do have going for me is my way with other people, the way i talk to them, the way i move around them, the way i whisper sweet lies and move about as a serpent in a den of mice, well maybe more like a leech posing as a mouse is a better analogy. I can keep living my life as a parasite, but due to laziness i never quite get out of that one pit, instead resorting to finding new victims as soon as i've finished sucking off all of the meat.

I barely even know who i am any more, to be honest.

>>13316624
it's okay guys, you're gonna make it. the late teens and early 20s are awful, but it'll be ok. i promise.

I'm anxious thinking about the day where I no longer contact my friends and am alone

>>13322761
It's not as bad as you make it out to be.

my cactus have eyes

Got a Bach hymn stuck in my head all day today. Thinking about dragging the old clavinova out of the basement so I can finish the tune

Just lots of noise and discontentment on my mind.
I want to change negative thought patterns to prevent self-sabotage, and improve myself in general. Things take as long as they need to, I guess. Sometimes a little impatient and discouraged but i have to keep trying.

>>13323403
Why do you self sabotage?

Technology is great.

>>13316624
I gotta poop

>>13321817
Keep going, my friend!

I hate my own vanity for no real reason. I've finally realized that I've absorbed some kind of weird quasi philosophy (toxic masculinity-related I'm sure) over why it's evil. It's feminine, sure, but who gives a fuck. I've let vanity engulf me more through self-hatred and repression than I would've through acceptance.

>>13324272
Post... feet?

>>13324272
but then there's still a strand of me that hates the vanity. I don't know what it is, or if that strand is an abstract or if I'm still full of self-hatred. I hate the idea of being a pretty boy now. It's awful, and I've caused a lot of pain over it.
It's a funny cause for neurosis I guess.

>>13324277

>>13324284

>>13316687
Geometry is make believe. Euclidean space is simply a product of the highly simplified spatial reasoning we humans use every day. We use theoretical devices like straight lines or circles to make sense the physical reality. But it is inherently meaningless. Irrational numbers are a consequence of abstractions and paradoxes. Pi comes out of circles, which are infinitely detailed (no matter how close you "zoom" into the arc, it is always curved), e comes out of infinity, and I would wager that nearly every other species of irrational number is spawned from this sort of infinite self relation. Irrational numbers are the seams where useful paradoxes are sewn into the corpus of math.

>>13322247
Ask your primary physician for an SSR. It will get better if you let it.

>>13317605
Don't be so vain. Take care of yourself as best you can and try to die nicely. We all do it. Might as well be with Grace.

>>13316624
I want to sez

>>13316624
lmao

Her pussy smelled bad. But I still licked it and hid my disgust saving my stoic face. How stoic should you be to lick a pussy? That's a funny question, comedian. A funny one, but, at the same time, I know that forcing yourself is a task. Fuck, do people just pretend to like that shit? Really, have you heard about the experiements where wine fans were in a room with their eyes closed and tasted supposed good wine and cheap stuff? Or the experiment on peer pressure. If the whole class says the drink is sweet, you're likely to agree. Well, it seems that misogyny is a way to rebel against the role we're supposed to play. It's hard, you get actual backlash, but some women love it. So, there's something to it.

I stopped licking the cunt and started fucking her again. Yeah, that's the right way to do it. Why would such a nice feeling hole be of disgusting taste and smell? I don't get it, dogs smell each other's asses and they're fine. Well, they aren't forced to do that by an expectation. Maybe I should be myself and smell a pussy once or twice to confirm it's not too disgusting and then fuck like a human being should. Oh, I know how a human being should. Without thoughts. These included. Why am I thinking so much? She likes it, so it's okay, she doesn't notice my distraction. But what if she did?

I bit her neck and she moaned. I don't know if in pleasure or pain. Women are retarded. When she does this to me, I don't feel arousal or anything good. Well, is she pretending, playing a role as well? We're both no better than a sissy faggot pretending to like taking reverse loads in the form of dick in the back hole. Oh yes, it's so good! Not. It's painful, faggot, I tried fingering my ass and the only pleasure I found was making sure that not too much shit stuck. How does this thot think that putting a finger in her ass is any good? Yeah, women are a meme.

>>13316624
Had the first part of my graduation exam today.
Hope everything went well, I don't remember anything I wrote, hopefully I did okay.
By now my peers are probably taking it easy and going to the beach with their girlfriends and friends.

I'll be staying home all day, studying for tomorrow and train later this evening.
My mother is quite concerned, I don't want her to worry, life's already tough .

Soon I'll be done with this and my folks expect of me no less than med school after this.
My poor old folks, they don't deserve such a passionless mid wit of a son.

I don't know when it all went to shit or who to blame.
Life is harsh

Coming to the realization that my absolute *best* days are just normal days for most people; no matter what I do or how hard I try, I'm always suffering from something, usually of my own making too

>>13321906
I enjoyed it well enough, but I feel like it has zero rewatch value.
Maybe time will prove me wrong, but it was really nothing that special anyway.

I can't help but notice how undemocratic and illiberal this democratic liberal city is. It's ruled by connections, power and wealth. As a result it's at war with itself. You don't "make it here" but rather you've " had it made it here." Anyone who tries to crawl up from the actual bottom is swiftly crushed by the system's uniformity--free thinking, art--is not allowed. It brings things to the surface, pulls back curtains. One can barely sense anyone here who does not have seem to have a vague tension about them. Or maybe that tension's just in me so I see it everywhere.

This whole notion of a civilization in contradiction with itself has something going for it. Can it really be said to be a civilization, if it is hanging loosely together and flying out in countless different directions? Can it be a civilization if everyone is living their own vision and not a shared one? Because this city tries to do both, it does neither. As a result personalities appear to be manufactured. Without a real community, everyone is reduced to their type, not their individuality. Without community there is no individuality.

Millions of alienated strangers, passing along like rain droplets, or particles of neon light, escaping sight. Gone in an instant, gone in the present.

>>13325171
The first time I started regularly hooking up with a girl, I had the same thoughts. JFC, you captured it well.

>>13326991
Democracy is more oppressive than "despotism". A tyrant does not care about your thoughts and beliefs, only your tribute and non resistance. Compare the literature written in monarchies, communist states, and liberal democracies: it's immediately evident which system offers the most intellectual freedom to it's subjects

>>13321309
Lord Byron is also based.

I'm left with the decidedly terrible choice of being social and genuine or building a livelihood. I feel the pressure to leave, to go make a new identity somewhere else, one that will allow me to build a real livelihood. I'm not allowed to kill myself or be happy and have both genuine relationships and a livelihood.

so I am left with the choice: have real friends and real opinions and be cancelled and jobless, OR never be real and sincere again but not be cancelled and have a livelihood. there is no third option where I get to be a whole person with both authenticity and livelihood; the third option is that I commit suicide and end it once and for all.

>>13327018
But he's not
>Based Rilke

>>13320200
sucks brah. i know someone with some sort of delusional disorder. being on meds he does nothing but sleep and moap about. Its very sad. he might as well have gotten a lobotomy. I try to encourage him but its like nothing can get him going.

Dont feel like a leech or anything though. You have to sort out your mental health and the reason we have disability support and other programs is for people like you and this friend of mine. But you really should try to do something without worrying about its economic impact

>>13321686
the way society is structured is inherently dehumanizing. everyone is zipping around in their own cars. isolated from the outside world, barreling down roads .. its no wonder people don't talk to each other. And then there is the PR notion of "pretend its all ok" and you'll see stuff like angela merkel having an epileptic fit while the guy next to her does nothing. And everyone is wondering what's wrong with HER and not the nonreactive guy beside her. Why couldn't he just put a hand on her shoulder, and ask her if she's ok? He did nothing. You see the same thing where people will just walk by someone whos just been stabbed and so on. We have been totally dehumanized. When I read tolstoy and read how so-and-so put his hand on someone elses while they talked I just can't relate at all.

>>13321665
could be for any number of reasons, anon. you tell me. what are you browsing for, specifically? anything important? what kind of threads draw your eye? that will give you a why to go along with.

>>13327075
Thanks man, that's what everyone always tells me, but it's nice to hear from an outside observer. I still can't get it out of my head, and I don't know if I'll ever believe it. I try to do what I can, but it all feels so inadequate.

There are a lot of heavy medications that cause that kind of lethargy. (Once I was given Tavor for a week, and I decided to stop when I realized I could neither sit upright nor hold a pencil, and I had withdrawal symptoms for weeks afterwards. It was fucking awful.)

I don't know what kind of advice I can give, especially because I'm in a dark place myself, but maybe something that he can do that doesn't take much physical activity? Listening to music, podcasts or audiobooks? I try to keep my room cheerful, too- I have a lot of plastic flowers and a huge poster of a forest on the wall opposite my bed. You can get those real cheap off ebay. I print out a pictures and hang them on the wall... that kind of stuff.

I hope your friend feels better. Thank you for replying, Anon.

The thought of constant self-actualization is, in a true sense, tiresome. I lack the motivation and discipline to fullfuill my desires; nonetheless, I suffer about it daily.

>>13321167
Though the moon beaming matronly and bland
Greets you, among the crowd of the new-born,
With a "welcome to the world," yet understand
That still her pale, lascivious unicorn
And bloody lion are loose on either hand:
With din of bone and tantarara of horn
Their fanciful cortege parades the land--
Pest on the high road, wild-fire in the corn.

Outrageous company to be born into,
Lunatics of a shining age long dead.
Then reckon time by what you are or do,
Not by the epochs of the war they spread.
Hark how they roar; but never turn your head.
Nothing will change them; let them not change you.

today i'll do sonnet 18

>>13316624
I fucking hate normie cunts.
I try to be kind but it's pointless, they just look at you like a fool when you treat em well, the wretched ol' hags.
Some days I'm happy that I don't have to deal with them on a daily basis.

Fucking scum, misogyny instantly gains new meaning

>>13327422
Then don't be creepy. They're strangers. You do passing kindnesses.

>>13327422
I treat normies like animals who don't know they're doing anything wrong

It still hurts me inside and makes me sad constantly to see how they take any opportunity they can to step on the weak, betray their own friends for minor social gain, and so on, but I just try to remember they're basically animals

>>13327442
>Then don't be creepy.

Case in point

>>13327422
if you're always hanging round with that doggy devotion look you're asking for it.

>>13327459
This is a big temptation for me. Not a good recipe for a happy life

>>13327467
you being creepy is a you problem anon.

Women are conditioned to avoid strange men.
If you look or act like you have an interest in a strange female outside of a place where it's expected (ie a club), she will immediately be apprehensive. As far as she is concerned, you're plotting to follow her home and cut her tits off.

Men think women are being bitches, but they're usually trying not to get murdered by some guy who thinks she's a bitch for not smiling at him.

>>13327508
I'm not the original poster who complained about normies, but no, it's not always a you problem. Normie women between are incredibly arrogant because they think society exists to entertain them, so they have an especially hair trigger when it comes to men they don't like. Most people learn to deal with the guy who smiles a little too longer than we'd like, or the foreigner who is a little too effusive and we can't quite tell why, or the odd man who goes a little too much out of his too way to be kind on the bus.

Not everything is about your cunt, and having a cunt doesn't immediately justify being rude and haughty as a rule. Cultivate some modesty.

>>13327535
Not sure where "between" in the second sentence came from. Ignore that.

>>13327020
find people who accept you.

>>13327535
>Normie women between are incredibly arrogant because they think society exists to entertain them.
That's some real incel/nice guy thinking, anon.
Here's a rule that really changed my life. I used to be a real fucking spastic, too, so believe me when I say it works:
>If you meet one asshole, they are the asshole. If you meet ten assholes, you're the asshole.

Unless you're the punching bag of the school (which I also was), or black in the deep south, which are exceptions and cannot be counted.

>>13327566
Uh oh.. I'm an incel? I'd better change my views, so you stop calling me a guy who can't touch the special hole. This is a real checkmate you've put me in here.

Either way, that's just not true. Some people are fucking weird. I'd argue most people are weird. The only guarantee of everything is to give everybody a chance, be kind and forgiving as a rule, and always be willing to engage with someone at a deeper level and question their motivations. If you want to live life by heuristics and view interactions with other human beings as anonymous transactions, I don't know why you'd bother to have a philosophy of social acceptability in the first place. Just go all the way, become an unthinking robot, and continue reducing socializing completely to a social credit system.

> The dehumanizing effects of over-organization are reinforced by the dehumanizing effects of over-population. Industry, as it expands, draws an ever greater proportion of humanity's increasing numbers into large cities. But life in large cities is not conducive to mental health (the highest incidence of schizophrenia, we are told, occurs among the swarming inhabitants of industrial slums); nor does it foster the kind of responsible freedom within small self-governing groups, which is the first condition of a genuine democracy. City life is anonymous and, as it were, abstract. People are related to one another, not as total personalities, but as the embodiments of economic functions or, when they are not at work, as irresponsible seekers of entertainment. Subjected to this kind of life, individuals tend to feel lonely and insignificant. Their existence ceases to have any point or meaning.

>Biologically speaking, man is a moderately gregarious, not a completely social animal -- a creature more like a wolf, let us say, or an elephant, than like a bee or an ant. In their original form human societies bore no resemblance to the hive or the ant heap; they were merely packs. Civilization is, among other things, the process by which primitive packs are transformed into an analogue, crude and mechanical, of the social insects' organic communities. At the present time the pressures of over-population and technological change are accelerating this process. The termitary has come to seem a realizable and even, in some eyes, a desirable ideal. Needless to say, the ideal will never in fact be realized. A great gulf separates the social insect from the not too gregarious, big-brained mammal; and even though the mammal should do his best to imitate the insect, the gulf would remain. However hard they try, men cannot create a social organism, they can only create an organization. In the process of trying to create an organism they will merely create a totalitarian despotism.

>>13327566
>>Normie women between are incredibly arrogant because they think society exists to entertain them.
they really are not wrong on this desu

>>13327476
That's precisely what I always refused to do.
I would sit outside and chat with the janitor or drink coffee on my own and they would just approach me and say some crap like " feeling lonely, mind if we sit ?", "what are you two always chatting about ?"

Then I would talk to them or try to be friendly, greet them when I met them on the street, start a conversation...
In the end it always ends with them looking at me like sack of shit.
Dumb broads, why be nice with someone you despise.
The inner workings of their silly cruel little brains are a mistery to me.

How do I know if I’m leading a good life, why do I even have this unsatisfiable urge to lead a good life? Why am I even here? What is this whole thing even all about? I have so many questions about existence and I don’t have any answers. I just want some answers, to be a good person and feel some certainty but I don’t know what to do and where to start. Everybody is telling me something different and a lot of them contradict each other. I’m just so confused, I’ve been leaning and reading a lot the last few years, but I feel even more confused now. I fear that my confusion about my existence will never come to an end before I die.

>>13327607

>>13327583
Who is this? Weber?

>>13327607
Wonder if this is part of the reason why I'm so attracted to tranners, they know what being rejected as a male feels like and aren't so quick to repeat it when the shoes on the other foot

I hate metaphysics, ethics, social theories, ideologies, climate alarmism, time travel, and popular fiction. These are the interests of plebs. "What happens when we die?" Who the fuck cares, you'll find out when it happens.

>>13327083
Usually I just go and type out a keyword, link or pasta then check how often it's been used on a specific board. Nothing really important, just wanted to see if some of those things were mentioned and in what context. Since I wasn't on some of these boards in the past it's interesting to see how different things were 5 or 9 years ago. That, and there's something strangely soothing about the idea that certain topics have been going on for so long, like the near constant free will/consciousness threads on /sci/, even though a lot of people very clearly dislike those conversations.

>>13327583
I actually don't want to get into this discussion again.

You're right that treating others with kindness is important. I try to live by it everyday. Sometimes strangers aren't friendly back. Women are not egregious bitches born to spurn you. You can post as many excerpts as you want but at the end of the day, I'm not the one dissatisfied with how people react towards me in social settings. I'm dipping out.

>>13327656
OK, I will let you have the last word and not be a parthian shotting cunt then.

We probably agree on most things. The real core of our disagreement wouldn't be about general rules like "Be kind" or "Assume the best of people, even if that's rarely gonna be true" or whatever, it'd be on whether we think it's possible for a particular group (in this case women) to be especially rude as a norm. Personally I think in this historical moment women are almost schizophrenic from how much smoke has been blown up their ass for frankly sad and incidental reasons, like feminism's coopting by capitalism.

If we disagree on that, we disagree, but let's not mistake that disagreement for a more general one requiring broad insults implicating each other's whole worldviews, like KEK and INCEL.

>>13327672
>but let's not mistake that disagreement for a more general one requiring broad insults implicating each other's whole worldviews, like KEK and INCEL.
That's fair. I'm sorry for insulting you.

>>13327535
I worry constantly that I come off as rude and haughty without meaning to desu when the reality is that I'm very autistic and socially anxious enough that all public interactions with strangers I don't recognize give me a tightness in my neck-collarbone-shoulders and a sense that something terrible is going to happen in the near future. It's dumb and I hate it but I don't think there's any way to really, truly fix it.

I wish I knew how the fuck normie women could reject people on purpose, but I guess that veers into NPC/p-zombie theory territory.

>>13327623
Call me what you want.
I'm but a liar, I still love women but I'll say I hate them and make a fool of myself countless times until my death.
Sex is not even the thing I care for, not the least as of now, if I'll fall in love with a woman and she'll smile to me I'll be happy enough and nothing in life I'll desire anymore. I'm a broken person though, I don't know if I can love or I'm simply ashamed of myself or a masochist, or even a mad man.
What I strive for is beauty in the end, beauty and intimacy and a lovely family perhaps.
Or am I ? I don't know even that. I desire them all but the moment I'm close enough I'll stop desiring it, I know it and something else will take the place.
Desire is malevolent companion and Hope is just a cruel faithful liar.

>>13327636

>Not being curious about one of the biggest mysteries of all mankind

I can’t understand how someone finds speculating about one thing literally no one knows the answer to uninteresting

>>13316624
Bach is the only joy left in my life.

>>13327715
Is that Eliade?

How do I enjoy Bach, anon?

>>13327715
based. bach and phillip glass are all you need. That's an inexhaustible musical universe

I love my gf, she’s really caring, supportive and fun to be around. But it makes me furious that she isn’t interested in anything deeply. She has no urge for self improvement, she doesn’t read or work out, she doesn’t have any hobbies. She just strolls through life and everything she does or cares about is so fucking mundane. She’s not even stupid, but I don’t understand how she’s not totally miserable

>>13316687
>>13324352
God how I wish I could take both of you out to coffee and just listen to you talk

>>13321167
fukken memorized

>>13327736
Just found out today that PG made a soundtrack for a biopic of Yukio Mishima and it's *very* good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9rB33JnvyM

“And when I die, the only people around me will be ghosts – punch and bound.
---
The bad days don’t come often anymore; at least, the real bad ones don’t. Yet they come regardless, and the pain they bring is concentrated and direct. A momentary flash of intense pain washing over and taking away and sediment of happiness I had been vainly holding on to.
Maybe I let it go. Maybe I push it away.
Then, afterwards, a different kind of numbness sets in. Not the neutral work-a-day nonsense that more akin to the lack of feeling. This is a painful numb feeling like I’m lacking in everything, but there’s nothing to feel.

Suppose I should sleep it off, but it comes all the same.

>>13316624

Anyone have that feeling that they have lost control of their life? I used to be very ambitious and accomplish goals that I set for myself; getting into x university, getting x job, reading x books, going to this place or the other.

However, now I feel like a marble falling down a drop case. Sure I'm trying to bounce my way to the box in the middle, yet I've realized I can't do anything as I hit those obstacles bouncing me away. I hate so many things about my life and myself and I'm powerless to change my trajectory. I can only watch as time passes by and I eventually land in a box; locked up in a purposeless job, living a purposeless life, alone and useless.

>>13328291
Sounds like you had ambition as long as it coincided with official channels where you always knew what you had to do (apply to places, do well in "programs" etc.) and there were official recognitions and milestones for you to attain

Now you are a free agent and living in a meaningless world and you wonder why your ambition is channeling into nothing. But it's because there is no objective meaning in this society. You were so busy focusing on means that you never realized there was never an end at the end. You've finally lifted your nose from the pavement only to realize you weren't even headed toward anything in the first place. So now you have to figure out whether you want to embrace meaninglessness or experience what it's like to be master of your own ambition. What is objectively important in your mind?

Unfortunately there's a real possibility that you've spent so long being a system-navigator and merit badge earner that your ability to discern objective importance (in the metaphysical or even divine sense) from the arbitrary chutes and ladders of whatever machine pachinko machine you're currently inside is permanently atrophied.

nothing

Another day with more vanity. I've been obsessing over photosensitizing ingredients in the cosmetics I use and when I should put sunscreen on. (first thing in the morning? but why if I'm not going outside? to avoid pre-mature aging? that's such a ridiculous worry! but I sincerely care about my skin, but then again it's such a ridiculous worry! and if you care about your skin so much, then why not apply sunscreen to the rest of your visible body, too? because I only care about how much face looks, but that's a valid and reasonable point, why don't I? I don't want to look goofy, do I? -this sort of thing goes on for hours into the day until i find something to distract myself with, or I'll decide to put off sunscreen UNLESS I'm going outside- but who cares if you look goofy, because if you genuinely care and believe in something then you shouldn't care! but I do care, and I care enough about how I look to other people [and myself, of course] to apply sunscreen daily.)

I've been wanting to wear sunscreen daily but I feel narcissistic and effeminate for doing so, but I also understand that those things in small doses aren't terrible. Self-care is fine, but I'm aware that this is obsessive; to put sunscreen on or not to put sunscreen on, that is the question. What about the photosensitizing ingredients in the cleanser I use? If I sit inside all day, then sure, I won't be sunburnt unless the light rays are directed towards me through the window, and that's impossible because the window I'm closest to is under a patio roof and there are trees that provide shade, but also what about when I want to leave the house? Will I have to apply sunscreen every time I leave the house? What if I forget? Is it just simpler to apply after cleansing?

>>13327740
she sounds real

>>13327712
Maybe he's more interested in living?

>>13328560
fuck it

What are y'all listening to lately?

>>13328970
helios

i cant stop anxiety
i dont know hwat it comes from

I'm fresh and clean from the anxieties of an adolescence spent posturing as a beat, and now am thrust into the adult world ready for action, but afraid of it all the same.

I gained a very small audience for my writing. But now I’m terrified of disappointing them by writing something boring. So I just procrastinate and end up not writing anything at all so that way I don’t actively disappoint them, just passively.

>>13329048
write for us then

I'd like to see how the weaklings with the bold, brash opinions hold up later in life. Will they be trampled by their peers for being bold or will they 'make it'?

pure and honest posts about a human and his mind
just reading with nothing to offer but that I read all of your posts

>>13328970
ive been on a john maus bender

guy is so damn good. is there anything else like it? there must be something to it because ive tried listening to similar music like molly nillson and ariel pink but i just dont get the same vibes

>>13329048
Anon, I want you to write what you want to write. Don't you fucking hate fan service? When the audience changes the art, it becomes a commodified monster of itself. You either create to create or you create for profit. Choose one and move on.

>>13316624
Why do people like feet,I mean seriously why? I get why people like the crunchy buttocks or the hypnotic bags of meat that we people call "breast"

but let me repeat the question;why feet? Is it because the structure? I wouldn't say it's an engineering genius but it's alright.or maybe it's the toes.the cute little piggies that help us stand on the silts of bone and flesh. But they too sharp if not taken care of and most women take care of their feet(at least that I know of,maybe you can text me on my webzone to tell me how wrong I am)but overall I don't get it

>>13329360
It's literally crossed wires in the brain. Something like the area of the brain responsible for recognizing feet is right next to the part that controls arousal, at least that's the pop-sci explanation I've heard

>>13327943
have you listened to michael nyman's work? he's also really talented imo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzMp1igXros

>>13329386
How my writing?

>>13329406
I can tell that English isn't your first language, no spelling mistakes and the rhythm of your writing is off. Look at some formatting guides, there are a lot of punctuation mistakes too.

>>13329405
I'll take a look at this. Thanks

Literally what is the point of writing in 2015 + 4? I sincerely think literature is a dead medium, please change my mind.

I wish I was less ugly.

Made small chat with a girl from my church tonight. I think she genuinely laughed at some jokes I told the group. She has a reputation for being a very good actress so I'm not entirely sure. Told me she's studying to become a nurse. Even though she's young, because she is from a very conservative family, she comes across like a character from "Anna Karenina" or "War and Peace", kindly of a stately, diplomatic vibe. She's is very cute too, straight out of a Hitler youth propaganda reel which is funny as her family were Germans colonists from the South Brazil-Argentina borderlands. Rumor is her grandfather was a Nazi but that seems kind of far fetched, can't ask him now since he died a year ago. Strong, wiry man, learned a lot from him.

I would like to see her again in the future, maybe something will turn out okay in my life for once

>>13329472
Good luck friend

>>13329472
I'm in a similar situation, hope things work out for you bud :)

The saddest thing I ever did see
Was divorced, freshly carved
next to initials on a tree.

>>13329472
people like to larp but if i ever found out someone was legitimately harboring a real nazi at any point. i dont think i could take them seriously in any real way with out anger or complete disgust. but im a moral fag

Why is "incursion" a word in English but not "incurse" or "incursor"?

My soul thrashes and tears and screams confined within my chest. Deceived by hope and betrayed by truth.
I see no relief but an escape.
Repetition; I’ve been here before
What is there to do when you want to cry but you have no more tears?

Pay attention to me. I have things to tell you. Interesting things, eclectic things, insight outside the box. My own unique perspective.

Time is a terrible thing to waste, Bruce Lee had at least that right. I've wasted a lot of time, enough to call it a past time. It wasn't stolen from me-except k-12- I simply wasted it. It existed in such vast quantities. A day, a week, a month, a year-there seemed to be so many, and there were, until there wasn't. Or rather, the threats that time once whispered were suddenly delivered with a shout. They don't really 'shout', more 'hummmmmmm' the sound a heavy truck tire makes rolling over pavement at 35 miles per hour, or at least the sound you hear when it rolls by 4 or 5 inches from your head. Close enough to hear death clearly, still too far. There I go again, wasting time. Is it a condition of life's profligates to seek redemption in art? Is writing not the most frequently available? So, henceforth, seeking to redeem my time on earth, both the portion wasted and the portion to come, I will.

>>13329472
don't fuck it up. This is the most important (you)'ve ever recieved.

My desire to be some kind of Michael Mannesque character has come back again and I don't really know what to do, especially because I really like it.
In other news I had an idea for my submission to an photography/art contest; the money and recognition would surely do me good.
I'm starting to accept I'll never be happy being working class on the third world and have to trascend this state through belief in myself despite any adversities and by accepting I'm not, nor have ever been, like the people around me, no matter how many times I wished it was so and longed for conformity.

As always, I wish the best for all of you. Keep your head up, anons, you can do it.

If I was a woman I would be a huge slut. And I don't mean just sleeping around. I would make it my missing to wear out all my holes until they were so loose and sloppy and stretched out that no man could ever feel any pleasure from sticking it inside my cavernous holes. I want to be triple penetrated, ass, mouth and pussy. I want to guzzle down gallons of cum, so much that I end up getting hospitalized and have to get my stomach pumped. I want to clean stinky smelly smegma from old man dicks.

>>13316624
I'm tired of this 'middle of the road' bullshit. Either we Whites re-colonize Africa, take control like in Rhodesia and Apartheid South Africa to cut the nonsense and start improving things, or we withdraw ALL aid from the West and offer refugee status to White Africans to come back to their homeland where they'll be safe and can have a chance to fluorish rather than being brutalized by the oppressive and racist Black Socialist leadership. Then, without the capable Whites or the aid from Whites, they will absolutely fall under their corrupt Black leadership and their issue of over-population can be dealt with in time.

So what's it going to be? Frankly I don't much care which, but less people would die if we put boots on the ground and took control by force. Then, any Blacks with intelligence and/or skills would have the opportunity to work, perhaps even given the opportunity to reach some form of leadership role, perhaps even given the right to vote, but primarily I think it would be left to White Africans to vote.

>>13329693
Be the change you want to see :) don't see any reason those can't be words

>>13330310
Seems like a pretty bad situation. Going back in full force would only delay the collapse of African civilization barring mass ethnic cleansing, which isn't desirable or tenable for obvious reasons. Probably just best to send the white Africans to Mars or something. I'm sure they would absolutely thrive there given their culture and character, maybe that's why Elon's so eager to get there

>>13330607
I didn't say anything about Black 'civilization', but if so damn many people want to try and improve things over there (lower crime, better economy, longer life expectancy) then the current method doesn't seem as capable as the previous method. I don't know about the whole Mars thing, but I'd sure as Hell prefer to let the White Africans come here than all the bloody Muslims from Northern Africa and the Middle Eastern shitholes they're crawling from. Nothing can be done about those, though, without Military intervention to wrench from them any sliver of Islamic leadership. At least Islam doesn't destroy nations as efficiently as Socialism does, though it's not much better.

I find myself missing the matte skyboxes of the old goldsource videogames. Something about them made me feel like the world actually meant something, that each location was imbued with purpose and it's own character; that you could strip away all the details from a map or setting and still find some essential part of it that would never change

>>13316624
God I need some broa I can chill and hang out with.
Fuck, being lonely in summer is shit.

You know you live in a small town when two of your cousins from both sides of your parents' families announce that they are getting engaged

I have 0 friends and I'm not sure if I like it or not.

>>13316624

Ive been thinking a lot about this woman I saw in a grocery shop a few months back. She is middle aged I think maybe older or younger its hard to tell. She had brown skin (but is Caucasian) and her body is very boney and skinny she must not have had an easy life but she hides it well. Her clothes are cheap and plain but looked extremely well maintained and fit her well. I maybe only saw her 2 or 3 times as I was walking around but all the times she looked into the middle distance very deep in thought, her shoulders were tene as though she was recalling something vividly but I personally think she had a nervousness about her as she had several tics people have when they are under stress but im unsure as her face kept having that far off look I described above.

Her hair was also extremely well maintained and stood with a sort of natural friz that some people have. Like I put above I only saw her a few times in glances. She was much more interesting than the common stereotypes you usually see (to me, im not implying she was a spectacle on the contrary im sure most would consider her too plain to give a second thought)

Ive been wondering what would bring a person to such a point and what caused her various tics etc

>>13331044
That feeling of staying inside on a sunny summer day wanting to go out and do things but not having anything to do is the worst

How are you supposed to choose who to date among multiple possible choices? Just gut feeling, or something else?

>>13316624
Listening to Hank Williams is nice

>>13332634
do them all if their circles don't intersect too much, and see how long you can keep it up

>>13332813
that doesn't seem ethical, plus they all know each other anyways

>>13332841
it most certainly isn't "ethical", just throwing a suggestion out there y'know

>>13332852
Maybe I shouldn't have written "date", court with intention to marry within 2 or 3 years is more along the lines of what I meant

>>13332869
well shit, try to get to know them better?

im too stupid to understand philosophy or properly appreciate literature
i read a chapter and cant come up with anything close to a profound thought regarding it, or even really recognise what themes or concepts it was invoking
i think im just wasting my time

>>13316624
dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick
I like the way it looks.
I like mine.
I like beating it.

Lost opportunities hurt. I hate myself and at the same time crave companionship and romance, becoming more and more starved for it. Improving my looks only serves to show how unattractive my being is. I’ve been reduced to online dating, but even there I’m unsuccessfull, despite women finding me attractive.
How I wish I hadn’t been so slow with Anna or Karen, but then again, isn’t that part of the problem? Being wistful about months old opportunities, as if they were precious lifesavers being thrown to a drowning man.

Been too long since I last felt victorious; years, to be honest.

>>13317933

Have you drawn from other sources for this idea? What have you read

Last Thursday was a fantasy realized. For the longest time I have wanted to fuck a blonde, willowy femboy. As luck would have it, I met one my age and in good health. I invited him over to my place to spend the night. I came in his ass four times. he had the body of the statue in the pic. There is nothing greater in this world then one hand gripping the lower back while the other is pressed against his throat. It was a perfect blend of sadism and passion. But now that this fantasy has been achieved, what's left?

Just finished reading The Stranger. The book is banal in a sense that, conferring any inherent meaning to reality is an absurd notion. That's obvious.
But, still, I can't live life obeying those statements. I'm just flesh. I can't escape this.

anyone ever wonder what different form factors of notebooks are good for? like what purposes would a horizontal opening writing pad be better than a sideways opening regular notebook?

>>13329767
>>13329688
>>13329503
Update: so it turns out that she's taken, but her older sister who is really into guns (her dad apparently bought her a knockoff 5.56 AK type rifle for her high school graduation) and spy novels is single. I'm going to ask around about her more, she's even more introverted than me (which is *really* saying something) so I don't know how she feels about me at all, kind of intimidating actually. She has these really intense hunters eyes and always has perfect makeup on. Excited to see how this turns out

>>13334164
It's only assimilated cultural knowledge, though when it comes to understanding America, two reads that look promising now are "Democracy in America" by Tocqueville and, supposedly, Baudrillard's "America". McLuhan would be useful too since it's impossible to understand recent world history without learning how media works, but he's kind of a difficult writer, so Neil Postman has some good works if you just want to see the effects of what McLuhan was talking about. What's happening to America now is not so estranged from what is happening or will happen to the rest of the world - it is only America's lack of a shared cultural heritage which makes it more susceptible than other countries. The zeitgeist in the first world now is partially the fault of America, but the bigger catalyst is the World Wide Web and especially social media. McLuhan would argue that "Fake news" is not at all the problem here, but that the internet is a medium which allows "Fake news" and outrage stories to spread faster than truth by design, and so it is an innate flaw. To argue otherwise is like saying, "Atomic weapons can be good or bad, it just depends on how you use them" - the problem is that atomic weapons exist at all.

>>13327607
They're trying to be nice.

I'm seriously considering voting for trump next year, I don't agree with many of his policies but at least the Republican party line isn't to completely destroy my way of life. The Dem congresswoman from the district next to mine just said last week that
>This Is Not Going To Be The County Of White People
and I just can't fuck with that. Imagine an immigrant to any other country coming to power and saying that. It's insane. Why in the hell would you vote for a party that has utter contempt for your entire race and way of life? I was out protesting with some Trotskyist groups won trump won because that's who I ran with, but now... What kind of country would I be leaving to my kids if this "Rainbow Alliance" clique has their run of the nation? I'm sure as hell not going to go quietly into that night

>>13333165
I can’t help but feel it’s a woman we’re supposed to be beating.

>>13334490
Hey man this is cool satire and all, but if you want to really draw in those younger viewers you'll drop the act completely and become full on fascist now.

>>13334550
I'm dead serious

>>13334490
I feel like trump is becoming a rallying point for white people. He’s not great but he does impede the left. 8 years blocked up is a lot of time and we’ll get the left exposed more for the racists they are.

>>13334568
Kind of worried he legitimately might be the last "conservative" president we'll ever get again. Texas is going to flip soon, and Florida is going to be blue till the end of time since they let felons vote now. Demographics really is destiny

>>13334553
Nah there's no way.

>>13334490
same really

>>13327607
Look, I'll give you an anecdote.
Once, by total happenstance, I became friends with some, for lack of a better word, thots. We interacted decently enough, but there was an obvious distance between us and we naturally began drifting apart, until finding people we felt comfortable with and that clearly enjoyed our presence. We still remain acquaintances, and talk from time to time.

The thing is, two other people also became friends with them despite not fitting in: An ugly, but kind, girl and an arrogant, socially inept boy.

They were clearly befriended out of pity, and perhaps so was I.

The girl realized it, at least up to a point, and despite still submitting herself to their “friendship”, retains a degree of independence and is on friendly terms with others; the boy, however, acts utterly, and most likely purposefully, oblivious to the growing dislike others nurture for him due to his distasteful personality. The end result? A growing bitterness and resentment towards him by both the girls and their friends.

At some point, when they were badmouthing him behind his back for the thousandth time, I asked one of them why not be honest about their desire to distance themselves from him, as myself and others had done in the past, to which I heard they could not be as “rude” as me.

Tl;dr: These people don’t realize how befriending someone out of pity, cultivating poison in their hearts while resenting and mistreating that person, is worse than outright rejecting their company; for in the first case you can maintain the narrative of being a “good” person, while in the second it’s necessary to take an honest look towards yourself and your needs.

My point is: They don’t care about being nice, only about nurturing the image, both to themselves and others, of being so.

>>13331435
What state is this?

>>13335218
Minnesota

Been worried lately that all of my interest in literature and philosophy, the liberal arts and music are all just cope. It's like I'm trying to paint a landscape while ignoring and brushing over the focal point. But I can't figure out what is really bugging me. I have a lot of theories sure, but trying to resolve what I think is the problem at that moment never gives me any relief. I can distract myself for a moment with aesthetics like Schopenhauer prescribed but any other time, I'm completely miserable. Any amount of self-awareness is hellish

>>13334722
you sound like a loser with no friends lol

have sex

I just threw up. Ugh.

How do I express my feelings in a text? How do I tell my gran in the hospital that I'm thinking of her from the other side of the world? How do I find out more about how she's doing? "How are you feeling?"- she just had a stroke, obviously that's a pointless question.

If it were one of my friends, I would send them a meme, and a "we barely noticed you were gone" jokey message. My gran wouldn't understand that, she struggles with emojis. It has to be a genuine message without being so serious it brings her down.

The trouble with texts is that there are no other clues to what the other person really feels. We all become autistic and can only go off of what's said, as there is no expressions and emotion to interpret. What I really want to know, what I really want to say, could be much better expressed with a hug and a chat about how the woman on the bed beside her is too loud.

What I really want to know is "How are you doing mentally? Are you scared? Or just frustrated that you've had another one, and bothered by all the fuss?" That's not a text I can send or would get an honest answer from.

I end up just sending her a basic "Heard you were in the hospital, hope you get better soon! Thinking of you :)", but as I put my phone down I feel a deep shame and disgust without really understanding why.

>>13337080
Surely she would appreciate a call or text regardless, unless the stroke has rendered her unable to communicate effectively or rendered her unable to remember you. I had an uncle who had a stroke around early 2005 or so, might have had a brain tumour or something and ultimately passed away. When he had the stroke, he couldn't even remember his own wife.

I can't help but blog about this Iran crisis. I'm now less certain there will be war than I was initially.

The recent Hobbesian tit for tat escalation has culminated with the destruction of US military assets. If reports are true that it was shot down over Iranian airspace, the Iranian government must have known what it was doing before deciding to make a show of force.

Contrary to what Trump said, this is not the work of someone "loose" on the job that day. It was Iran communicating that it has a sophisticated anti-air defense system provided by the Russians. It was a calculated decision, likely informed by the knowledge that it was an unmanned drone.

Iran is not as much of a pushover as Iraq. It is not as isolated diplomatically. It is subsidized by both China and Russia, both of whom rely on Iran for oil exports and as a hedge against the US-Saudi regional coalition.

War with Iran could easily spill over into a larger regional and even global conflict. It would depend on how Russia and China choose to respond. It is likely that they might be willing to abandon their stake in Iran, and let the US further bankrupt itself in multi-trillion dollar military quagmires. If they did react in kind, it would need to be a measured response, as all out war between the three could easily go nuclear.

Saudi Arabia and Israel would probably remain out of the war, and Europe would want to keep its hands clean of it. So the US would further isolate itself diplomatically if it did go forward with an attack.

At the same time, as the Korean situation shows, antagonistic countries can exchange warning shots without igniting a full blown war. Many skirmishes have been traded between SK and NK without it amounting to open conflict. It is all just to flex on the opposition.

It could be that the Iranian standoff is a manufactured crisis, meant to dramatize and support an anti-Iranian narrative to get them to capitulate entirely to US/Israeli demands. If that is the case, Iran shows no sign of submitting, which calls the bluff.

>>13337080
That is definitely worth a call not a text

>>13316624
I can't figure out the lyrics that Claudio says from Junesong Provision in the Shabutie live show at The Joyous. He replaces the "when boys set fire" lyrics with something else that I can't quite make out.

>>13316624
I liked that movie

>>13338391
I doubt that there are any people who aren't in the high levels of the respective governments that have any clear picture of what's going on. We've certainly been much closer to war than this incident. Even if shooting and airstrikes erupt, that's no guarantee of war. Remember Pakistan-India earlier this year?

>>13316624
Theirs a strange girl in my class.
I can't describe the feeling I get whenever I talk to her.
She's very weird, but also very kind.
I feel like I've met someone very special but at the same time I'm not sure in what way.
I can definitely say I've never felt this with any other girl.
She seems more enlightened than anyone I've ever spoken to.
She's weird and I don't know why.
I don't fancy her or anything, she's just strange in a way that escapes me.
I might tell her that tomorrow and see what she says.

>>13338391
>Saudi Arabia and Israel would probably remain out of the war,
Ackchually I'm not so sure about this. Israel and Saudi Arabia both would like to see Iran beaten into submission. But getting both of them to collaborate on the war would be tricky, as relations are strained between them.

Israel might consider military action if Iran continues its nuclear program in earnest and the US strikes. They would have both the casus belli and the prompting to take out a longstanding bitter enemy. Saudi Arabia would prefer to remain neutral if it can help it, despite how much it would like to see Iran destroyed, it knows full well even if they don't get involved Iran will lose the war and be weakened if it came to pass.

I don't know why, but reading threads on /LGBT/ gives me anxiety like nothing else. I'm not even trans (probably would be desu if my family wasn't so religious), but the urgency with which the people there have in regards to their transition makes me feel like the clock is running out of time for me too in some abstract sense. Maybe their concern for enjoying your youth has infected me somehow, or, I feel guilty(?) for not giving my all in pursuit of my own goals. Does that make any sense?

>>13338535
I'd say thats a pretty rational fear.
I think everyone feels that at some point in life.
You either act or don't, its up to you.

>>13338535
is the pic you

>>13327009
ok retard

>>13338606
I wish desu, just a picture I found in a different thread, not sure if they are cis or trans or whatever. I'm balding and have a moustache IRL

>>13338419
I didn't, but I like the movie poster. Its got very nice colors

I'm so fucking horny for art hoes. I want to fuck a coked-out tumblr hipster DIY aesthetic astrology thot in her lip gloss DSL mouth. I want to cum all over a girl with thick frame glasses and edge dyed bobcat bangs. Everytime I hear a THICK, waist-high-jean-clad braindead choker-wearing slutty wiccan minx say "yikes", "y'all", "big mood", "cancelled" or "this is a bop", I get an uncontrollable urge to run up to her and fondle her d cups and sweaty fat thighs. I want to pour my white olive oil onto her contoured cheeks and neotenous faces and rhinoplatisized nose. I want to finger an art hoe through her jean overalls while pretending to be interested as she talks about van gogh and arctic monkeys and how david foster wallace fans suck and gilles deleuze and VICE news and 'union pool' in williamsburg and steven universe and homeopathy and saveur magazine and taking adderallto pass exams. IM SO. Fucking. Horny

>>13339094
Damn. Do it before you get a GF.
>>13338535
I'd slam his lily-white boipucci

I am beginning to think that gnosticism is more or less true. The details might be different but the beliefs represent an essential and accurate view of reality. Material is a prison and we are overseen by conscious, powerful wardens.

I think this was plastic that I may have inhaled. Maybe that’s why I have this pain in my abdomen. It makes no real sense; I mean, I can see how those two are connected, nor can I picture any impacts for something I’ve done on only two occasions be acute. It’s new though; it’s very new, and I may be the first. This feels different, good different but not usual different, might be dangerous or a mixture, could be both, most likely it’s both. That’s not good, and it’s most likely that it’s not good, for some reason I don’t care.

Weird. I looked skinny when I was a kid, I don’t know why I started eating a lot. I looked at myself one day when in third grade and realized that I was fat. Why was it so abrupt a realization? It’s okay; I lost the weight, but I will probably think of myself as fat for the next ten years at least. I don’t like how something as tender as a child is so bruised, but I suppose you can’t separate those two.

I’ve never read Ulysses, but I’ve been reading up on some of the content. That’s why I came to this thread, is to practice steam of consciousness. I’m bad at it, as you can see from this post. Why am I writing this down? I think that if I self deprecate this post, others will jump in and say that in fact I am good at steam of consciousness. I’m such a loser for needing this validation, but I guess humans look for it anywhere, even on 4chan. Also, I don’t think 4chan is as retarded as we all make it out to be.

Why does everyday feel the same? I mean, overarching that is. Some small details change, and those details are fun while they last; a fun detail of today is me writing this post, and it’s enjoyable as I do it right now, but it’s not going to be what I think of when my head hits the pillow tonight. I’ll end up pondering on how today was not distinguishable from any other day; doomed to monotony, but is there a better alternative?

>>13339389
>I don’t like how something as tender as a child is so bruised, but I suppose you can’t separate those two.

Damn this is actually fire

>>13316687
>But are all these maybe just artefacts of arbitrary counting systems? Could there be counting systems or "number languages" that better handle things like infinitesimals and irrationals?

The base of a numerical system is called its radix and you can have radices that are non-integers. Base e, base pi, base tau, base whatever. The extent to which you are able to do math with these numbers (rather than just slap them next to an integer as a coefficient) is merely a product of the time and computing power you have.

>>13316687
>It also seems as if they (like others) rebelled against the close relating of number and geometry at the moment that number started returning "strange" results, like negative quantities, null quantities, and especially irrationals and infinitesimals. They found the latter disgusting.

>>13339389
Based

Alone, drunk, and listening to old Prussians military marches. Why couldn't I have been a landser like my great great grandfather? God's, we we're proud then.

My mind is a black hole
Sucking everything out of existence
Even the light
I am Unable to reach out
Continuously pulling me in
Unable to fight
Only remembering the dark
Forever Forgetting who I am
Stuck in the night
Forced to become my silhouette
Only my shadow is of who I was
A child with might
Overthinking I may be
Unable to compress I am
I am my own worst enemy
Overthinking took time
Time I did not have
Now without energy
I am not myself
Never have been
accused of idiocy
But why is this
Because I am Troubled
Or is it society

>>13339470
have sex

>>13339539
I wish I could, I'm so damn lonely. I wish my parents hadn't raised me Christian, it destroys every single instinct inside of you besides conformity to the group. It's unnatural and ironically human centric.

I don't even want to have sex, just one night of cuddling or a single kiss would soothe my soul to it's core. Everything is cold and dark except for a girls touch. I wish I could care less, but that would be impossible and just a cope. I've grown too old without any meaningful contact

>>13339559
damn, man; I didn't mean to unlock all that hurt

There's such a thing as cuddling camps. Go to one of those. World is full of lonely people yearning for basic asexual attention. There's a thing called touch starvation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1f5lE_j_bU

I have no idea what i'm doing. I have a vague plan, but at this point i'm just going through life by the seat of my pants and winging it. I wouldn't say i've made bad decisions, rather i've made very life changing choices with little forethought. I don't think I should evaluate what i've done so far as i really don't want to have a panic attack at this point. Supposedly i'm a changed man but i still feel like a shit posting 16 year old.

>>13339470
Based.

Drunk with you buddy.

>>13339559
Are you ugly or something? Like truly hideous? If not there is no reason you can't get a girl.

There is a girl I never got but I think of her every day. If I was only not a pussy she could have been mine. I literally think of her everyday ... 7 years

>>13316624

It's this feeling again, the feeling I have been experiencing as long as I can remember. A want for comfort, warmth, and embrace. I didn't understand this feeling when I was younger, yet I knew I needed it. Now that I am much older, i understand this feeling.
But I am a prisoner. A prisoner to my mind. It doesn't know how to obtain this feeling, so it waits. And so I wait. For something I think should come to me. Something I think will just happen.
But it does not. It never happens. I sit here, slave to my mind, my mind that yearns for companionship. And I am afraid. Afraid of new things. Companionship is new, and therefore I fear it.
So I will sit in stalemate, until I either take action, or cease to be.

>>13318359
you seem deeply troubled
>>13320180
I'm sorry for your pain...I hope you are okay
>>13320200
seek out nature, and travel

>>13329709
lift weights

Suicide isn't that bad of an option. I'm in a continent which very few people have put foot on and yet the emptiness is still there. Accomplishments don't really seems to mean anything.
What do I do now to not throw myself from a cliff

>>13316624
I just put my weewee in my girlfriend's butthole and now I'm thinking about the poopoo particles I might be incubating

>>13339766
What do you do to enjoy the moments in between, the space is forcing the perspective of depression even when great things are happening.

My mind is sabotaging things in a strange way

>>13327740
What mundane things does she care about?
>two days ago
Oh...

>>13338535
Trying to trans doesn’t makes sense to me. Teens alway have anxiety though. Just try and focus on various self improvement projects. Stop looking at /lgbt/ threads. Stop!

>>13338645
It’s a girl. Advertising for the wig actually. Here she is plugging the shoes. It’s terrible, but at least she isn’t doing porn.

>>13339539
Is that Elizabeth?

>>13327614
Imagine you buy a fish tank. You add your new fish to the water, only to have them turn and ask "what should we do?"
"I want you to swim" you say.
"But how shall we swim?"
“That is nothing something I can tell you. It is you who know the secret to swimming. That is why I bought you. I want to watch as you reveal yourselves through your swimming.”
Even if there is a creator, what could he possibly want from us but to be what we already are? We are to swim. We are to participate in reality in the best way we know how, and if we do not know how, than that shall be our participation.

>>13339849
yea that's queen lizzy young; she was kinda cute

>>13339652
I'm average looking, just part of a very small minority religion. My family will disown me if I marry outside so my choices are quite limited and they discouraged dating until I was like 22 so I'm missing about a decade of relationship experience

>>13340683
Drop your family and make it by yourself. You sound cowardly and materialistic, giving up on your desires to not be disowned.

>>13340737
Eh, the damage has already been done. I'm just going to waste away now. They wanted a compliant and submissive son so that's what they'll get. They won't even feel guilty about causally killing the future grandchildren they so desire

>>13340777
Don't be as defeatist as Kafka was, anon. There are ways out, but you can't be passive.

>>13318359
Who the fuck knows if you'll still read this four days after your post, but anyway, we're very similar. Perhaps knowing there are others like yourself out there will bring a measure of comfort. Also, tell me if you find a way out, living like this is exhausting.

>>13323403
FATALISM IS THE FINAL AESTHETIC

>>13316624
Masturbated to every fetishism conceivable even the borderline amoral shit.
My teen years were just perversion on top of perversion.
I wish to get it out since the thought is tearing me apart, just wish I didn't find out about 4chan so early.

Started in middle school I believe, didn't know about porn at the time.
I would pass my afternoons hanging out on my BMX and watching Cartoon Network.
I remember the first time I found out that touching myself could cause me pleasure I was on my bike in summer, would squeeze my dick from time to time eventually it felt good and that was it, wasn't sure how it worked.
It kept happening like this most of the time.
Once I was in school, last class so bored out of my mind. Thought I'd try.
Looked at the teacher's tits, squeezed from time to time.
I ejaculated more than I ever did before, so much that I freaked out and went to the bathroom and washed my dick in the sink then Cleaned with some toilet paper and walked back in class.
I couldn't stop thinking about it and did the most retarded thing ever, told my folks about it, don't know what was on my mind then. Just got a fast bees and birds talk from my dad ...
From then on I would just look up boobies on the computer when my parents were out and rub a fast one off.
Then I found out about porn and jacked off to porn on Xnxx.
I don't remember exactly what to, I liked older women. Like a man fucking both mother and daughter kind of videos I believe.
Masturbated maybe 2-3 times a week.
Had a few times I tried something with women but I had not idea how it worked and I only cared about sex so it didn't go anywhere.
Then as I started watching anime because some friend introduced me to it and since I got a computer of my own, I would watch some hentai as well.
Still preferred real porn.
Obviously as it happens when a young man has too much free time I ended up browsing forums and kept watching anime I ended up on 4Chan.
First on a, then I found out about b and there I would jack off to dumb whores posting their nudes.
Then as I spent more time there there would be some threads with bestiality and all that crap.
At the time I was already pretty bored with all the porn I got so tried that for some time but it wasn't really my thing.
(Remembered about 6 months ago about this and fucking cringed like I never did) before.
Then I got to creepshot threads which I loved. (at the time I was in hs I believe)
Tried some creep shots myself but I was retarded and once or twice I flashed some girl's butt with the flash of my phone. (What a miserable time)
Made onaholes out of latex gloves and sponges, socks.
Spied on women, jacked off in the school bathroom with napkins used by girls.
Then I got bored of /b/ and went on r9k because it looked like a chill place for sad people, was an edgy nihilistic teen and I thought that was the case.

>>13341022
There I picked some of my worst habits like isolating myself from the world, just watching animex browsing the internet , watching youtube and masturbated.
All kinds of porn, I jacked off up to 5-6 times a day.
Lost my mind, didn't make a single friend, nor progress with women or anything worth the time.
I wad bored of all kinds of pornx tried every fetish, nothing turned me on anymore and I resolved to trap doujinshi quite reluctantly even if I despised that shit and I legitimately thought it was gay, then tranny porn. Didn't do it many times, felt very ashamed of it.
Lost about two years and a half of my life there.
I was sleep deprived and a wreck of a person, a human maggot.
Had a mental breakdown quitted porn and stopped browsing r9k altogether.
Got back to my feet, got back on the right track, got more social and got a hold of myself even if my mind was irrepararbly damaged.
Lived a decent healthier life for a year or so, got back into reading, worked out, made an effort to socialize.
Forgot about my past for that time.
Still masturbated from time to time to normal porn and was content with life for the first time in years.
This year I remembered clearly about the maggot I was back then, all the fucked up shit I masturbated to, the state I was in the time I wasted.

I dropped porn, haven't masturbated in 2 months.
I don't feel worthy of getting back in society, my past haunts me, I woke up feeling sick for some time, threw up every morning had some fucked up visions/allucinations.

What I did was fill up my time with all kinds of activities, like readingx working out every day, running, hiking, maintenance, work, study...

Still I feel like shit from time to time.
I precluded myself a good life.
How can I make friends or marry a woman or do anything like this ??
What even is my sexuality ??
I even stopped posting here
Just came back for this last one because I really needed to get it out.


I was never this close to the rim.

>>13340881
It brings me sorrow to know someone is like-me out there in the world. I wish I knew the answer to share with all those like us, but then the kind of people that tend to harm us would learn and we would be in a place worse than before. They have different names, but you can already tell the kind of people they are. Find all their tells and avoid them as much as you can afford to.

Don't play their game, just get good at protecting yourself. Self-love helps a lot, your interests over other people's until you can be better. People who want you to be better are the only people worth burning your energy for. Be better, don't worry so much about getting better, that comes later, being better is every moment now. Idk, I might seem esoteric rn, but I'm sharing what I'm just learning.

>>13316624
Why can't I just forget ?
Why ? I would pay to forget the last 5 years.