/lit/ - Literature

Edit it down to 500 pages and I'll read it

>>13229979
I'm only willing to read a 2k+ page novel if it's written in moonrunes and has more than a hundred characters

>In a cavern, in a canyon, excavating for a mine.-Fragment, "Oh My Darlin', Clementine", circa mid-nineteenth-century; v.IVAmericana, (9-9.6 "The West"; [xx.xx.001.003 {"Goldrush"}]); Author: various(xi_5 [known; unconfirmed{ERROR CODE: aa.03; irretrievable])
hmmmmmmmmmm

>>13229995
The view online option is 289 pages. I'm on page 24 now

>>13229979
Self publish it then

>>13230002
That's because he's only published 10% of it

>>13229979
Change the fucking cover. It's absolutely shit

>>13230008
Oh you're right. Says part one out of a ten part sci-fi series. Idky why i didn't read that part.

>>13229979
lol, are you retarded? long novels are the best! anything bellow 1k pages isn't woth eternity, and anything bellow 250 pages isn't worth reading. go for it!

>>13230002
thank's, anon.
>>13230005
that is what I'm doing. I'll publish each part as I revise it. Not asking anyone to buy it. I'll post free pdfs on lit of each part

>>13230032
good luck fren

>>13229979
>slime mold books
nethack?

>thanks god

>>13229979
Why would you even attempt to get such a large novel published? As some random fuck you'd get 120k words in the very best scenario.

>>13229979
>Trying to get a 2300 page book published as your first novel
You saw nothing wrong with this approach? You don't think maybe you could start off with a 200 page book or something? Think about how long the bible is and how much they get done in that space

>>13230073
>>13230079
fair criticism. good points. not my first novel, nor the first one I tried to get published. prolly the fifth I've tried to get published. If you look on my goodreads page you can see I've already self-published two before this one.
Reasons for writing a long novel: 1. publishers reject anything that doesn't fit in with cultural marxism, and thus I became sick of the depression that followed my attempts at getting published which ended with absolute rejection. so I thought if I write something so long it would be like ten years before I even tried to get it published, I could avoid that psychic pain for a long time
2. like this anon said >>13230031 long novels are sick af. I love War and Peace so much I was sad when it ended. Same with IJ

>>13229979
wow it's pretty good.

OP, for the love of god, hire a graphic designer for your cover or ask an anon.

Is this lgbt themed?

>>13229979
Did niggeranon ever get his niggernovel niggerfinished?

>>13230009
>>13230116
good point. but what book actually has a good cover, or a cover that made you at all feel what the book made you feel? A cover is kind of like a band name. It might be really bad, or really good, but it's just a place marker, representing something abstract. What's more important is whether the object it represents is quantifiably good or bad. It's kind of like the word nigger
>>13230139
you actually are bringing a smile to my face because I already know who you are

>>13230208
>but what book actually has a good cover
A book cover should be both interesting to look at and say something about the novel. The cover for Glowbug looks like the cover to a book about a serial killer, not some sci-fi epic.

>>13230227
True. But it's more of a scifi concept behind the whole thing. And it does get progressively more scifi, especially from book 5 onward. The amount of insane concepts I wish I could share with you, but I don't want to spoil anything so I won't, in this book, are huge. Ask me a random page number and I'll post the SC. Aside from that, just running through the whole book, the amount of violence, death, murder, etc. in the book definitely trumps anything scifi. Plus the whole thing is dark as shit and about how life is absolute garbage and it was a mistake for any of us to be born, and what absolute hell it is to be alive

>>13230267
So
>Insane sci-fi concepts
>Tons of mayham
>Nihilistic tone and theme
I'll see if I can't photoshop something up
Also if you're just going to stick with the original cover, edit it so you can read your name

>>13230111
thanks, anon

>>13230267
How do you feel about this being your cover image? Too pulpy?

>>13229979
don't you think its kind of an imposition to ask somebody to read a 2300, 11x8 inch manuscript? I understand you worked hard on this, (well, maybe i don't) but we have finite time here on earth..

>>13230288
I specifically obscured my name because my own feeling is that I am shit. I hope my work will be much greater than me
you have to realize a cover must be completely original. I can't publish an image you lifted from something obscure because of copyrights. all my covers are from my own photos, etc. I worked legal in the publishing industry, so that's just my advice to you
if you can do it, anon, and I like it, I promise I will take your cover, and give you a credit in the front matter, if you want, and will give your name (I understand if you don't want to provide your name)
if you don't read the entire first book, there is a theme about old sewing machines, and there is a cover I incorporated that into, but my wife said it was worse than the one I went with

>>13230334
>I specifically obscured my name because my own feeling is that I am shit. I hope my work will be much greater than me
You cannot create the work without the author anon
>you have to realize a cover must be completely original. I can't publish an image you lifted from something obscure because of copyrights
All these images are copyright free, I made sure of that

>>13230345
>All these images are copyright free, I made sure of that
Uh oh

>>13230324
read this >>13230208
I love reading. I don't read to brag. I don't read to have read more books. I love to just read because it makes me forget everything about this life we never asked for but were thrust into, and then they taught us we will die. For me, anything I can read which will make me forget that I will die, is worth so much to me. That's why I love a really long book. I read Le Mis cover to cover. Not because it's good, but because I need an escape. If you don't feel that way, I completely understand. Most people don't. But there is no more Les Mis, or Brother's Karamazov, or IJ, or Remembrance of Things Past, or the Magic Mountain, or even American Tragedy. These books which I indulged in, and were more than a thousand pages, are a thing of the past, and that's sad to me. Even though no one will publish it, I wanted to write a really long piece and I did.
Also, A Song of Fire and Ice, is long as fuck, and it's the best selling novel series in the world right now, so I don't think I'm alone. My novel (which I'm making into a series) is just more literary than GOT

>>13230345
the email of my publishing concern can be found in the PDF front matter, and we can discuss the cover of the book further thus

>>13230031
>anything bellow 250 pages isn't worth reading
whats up with all that instagram shit

>>13230351
if you just sent publishers the first volume instead of the entire thing i'm sure they'd be more receptive

>>13229979

Ok Dumas, I'll give it a shot.

>>13229979
Opening bit sucks. Decent writing, but it's a bit boring. At p19 and I'm enjoying the character interactions.
You thought about taking a segment, editing it, and trying it as a short story?

>>13230501
>Opening bit sucks
I found it quite engrossing, you instantly know a bit of the family dynamic and I find it quite relatable

OK, I think I am (almost) sold on this.
List a few authors/concepts/ideas that influenced this novel and I will probably read this.
Also your cover is terrible for marketing, and while the content of the synopsis seems interesting, you should consider rewriting it in a way that is less clusterfucked, and alludes to a literary novel, rather than something Stephen King would write.

>>13229979
Good to see this is finally out. Overall it's a weird mix of polished and awkward lines

e.g
>The weather had been nice all month. Never a day spent inside in the AC, when it still worked, was what Jared was happy about.
>"What?" Eddie said, laughing. "Serious?" One time Eddie said something to a girl, about Jared, to paraphrase it at least, was like something like Jared was never scared of anything

The opening is also odd and too experimental for my tastes. Did you edit this at all?

>>13230514
It's interesting, but not presented or framed in an engaging way. Felt too much like a wall of text to engage me, needed something to break it up. And the abusive nature of the mum doesn't really shown again. Could have had her talk about energy saving or something, give her more personality than one which doesn't seem to fit that well her later characterisation.
Admittedly I was half asleep when I started, so my opinion's a bit shit.

if this was published as an actual book i would read it. i hate reading on a screen though

can you self publish on amazon or something to make it a nice physical book? i have no idea how it works

Didn't really like the opening, although that's probably just my taste more than anything else. I can't stand the American choppy style of writing which sounds like it's impersonating a teenager. The Catcher in the Rye is an example of this; I hated that book.

>>13230111
Oh hi OP

>>13229979
Just make a Patreon and post it on some online forums or online publishing websites like RoyalRoad or something. You're already ahead of the curve if it doesn't have obvious grammatical errors.

I unironically really like it. Godspeed OP

>blatantly ignores advice agents give on what publishers want
>omg why can't i get published
/lit/ are a special kind of retarded, i swear to god.

just because you wrote a thing does not mean it deserves to be read.

>>13230079
>200 page
OP absolutely overkilled it length-wise, first novel or not, but let's be honest here, 500pg epic-like debuts are the best.

>>13230267
>Ask me a random page number and I'll post the SC
1667 please

>>13230001
Nick Land probably

>>13230139
I still think of that day and I'm still convinced that it was all a farce. There is no way you could say nigger so many times without kill yourself

>>13231481
how does it feel to be completely consumed by ideology?

>>13231558
i'll let you know when i get my first paycheck.

>>13230104
Why are you trying to publish anything when you're illiterate? What the fuck is cultural marxism? Is this your brain on burgers?

>>13230551
Lmfaooooo

>>13230104
>doesn't fit cultural marxism
lol

>>13230318
actually this cover would work really well with the tenth book in the series. I'll save it if you don't mind
>>13230519
DFW, especially Oblivion stories, Thomas Mann's the Magic Mountain, War and Peace, The Idiot, Dune
>>13230520
thanks, anon. the beginning will make sense in the end
>>13230551
I think there's a way kdp will publish it as a paperback, but not sure how it works. I'll look into it

>>13232485
Answer the question, cunt.

>>13231518

>>13229979
you literally just published it you fucking nigger retard

Perhaps it would be easier to navigate the plot if you released the work in seven stages. Theres a zero point to release your best work for nooone, once you get some real attention from a significant firm you'll probably have to start your brand over from scratch. So what you're really doing is just wasting all of our time. if you're just fishing around for feedback I get it, but get on with it.

>>13232552
This is trash bro

>>13229979
I also use georgia

>>13232666
Checked and seconded

>>13231548
KEK

I admire you OP. I have an idea for a series but I'm too pussy to spend time on it

>>13229979
just wanted to say you are based as fuck OP

>>13229979
I admire the effort. I'll probably read it one day

why didn't you like snow crash

>>13232552

Made me laugh, but I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Way too many words btw.

>>13232666
Looks like satan has spoken. OP is a fucking pseud retard. Wasted 8 years of your life bro. Should have been trading shitcoin, and fucking hookers. Come to /biz/. We have a lot more fun (and money).

>>13229979
What is it about?

>>13230104
How are you wrtiing so much?

>>13234823
give me money

Will you guys read my erotic size theft story? Where a woman steals a man's height everytime they have sex?

i left a review on goodreads for you, OP
good luck!

>>13229979
Probably not.

At least you finished something.

How do you keep track of so many characters, OP?

>>13234882
yes

>>13234659
Characters are not realistic. Writer seems like a weeb. it does have some cool concepts though
>>13234801
that part is not yet edited. I posted it because an anon asked for that page number to be SC'd, after I promised I would post a SC of any page. strange he hit on by chance one of the most 4chan passages in the novel
>>13234824
you can read the description from the link I posted
>>13234827
put yourself in a place where it's impossible to access the internet, and don't bring your phone, and make sure you have to be there for at least 3 hours
>>13234904
thanks
>>13235224
Good question. Write a list. I got list of names, birthdays, traits, everything. I even made maps of the houses and neighborhoods, etc. so I could keep it accurate

>>13229979
Why do people do this to themselves?

couldn't you have taken a vow of silence or shacked up with some Buddhists for a few years?

OP, I would read it, but I literally can't find any blurb or synopsis or anything. Provide a back cover blurb thing and I'll consider it

>>13235801
there's a sadness that hangs like a black dread at almost all times except when I'm writing or listening to "Boys of Summer" by Don Henley

>>13229999
based quad

>>13235829
because you're the second one to ask about this:
After an extended blackout, the residents of a Chicago suburb begin to piece together the last fragments of media reports regarding a super virus which caused the total shutdown of NYC. In the midst of their chaotic reorganization, a mysterious figure appears, who suggests there is more going on than a simple power outage.
Blackout is the first book in a ten part series which explores how the entity known as Glowbug reshapes the country, from seeding new Messiahs in the west, to birthing a vast army of epileptic übermensch in the east, and how one family deals with, and confronts, the drastic changes to life as they knew it.
Though that's just the blurb from the book, which I wanted to keep short and friendly. Really, it is more of a family epic, which contrasts a "rural" (formerly suburban) area that now has no electricity, getting more and more conservative, with civics, religion, etc., contrasted with a west that is totally decimated almost back to primitive times, and a NYC where technology hits a kind of singularity, and all of this coming into conflict which results in something so dark it can't be described in less than a million words

>>13235763
>put yourself in a place where it's impossible to access the internet, and don't bring your phone, and make sure you have to be there for at least 3 hours
But how are you writing this much dude?

>>13229979
inb4 this text becomes a classic

>>13235837
Don Henly, huh? Its worse than I thought.

Okay, heres what your going to do. You need to have a gay love affair. Grab 50 bucks and take a trip down to santa monica, cruise around high end retail outlets until you find a doe eyed bambi who looks like they can suck the chrome off a buick. Offer them 50 bucks to take you on a tour of the city, buy them a nice dinner and if your lucky he will suck you off in your car as you watch the sun set.

Whatever you do, don't give your loverboy an ounce of coke or let him listen to the song "highway to the danger zone", you'll end up 69ing while going 150 miles per hour on the freeway while a cop tries frantically to pull you over.

>>13235763

Heh yeah, the characters were very cartoonish, but I was surprised because judging from the bits I've read from your stuff your style is kinda similar to Snow Crash, so I thought you liked it. Dunno how cyberpunk-ish it gets, though.

>>13235913
I laughed anon, thanks

>>13229979
what software is this, word?

>>13235874
read a few posts above, where I constantly hate being alive, and want to die most of the time, except I'm Christian so I can't just die. But then writing is the only thing that makes me not want to die. and it makes me happy if people like what I wrote, but either way, I'll keep writing
>>13235889
if only I posted the snippet of the part where it's Hoffmeister's Fourth of July Bash in the Backyard Bonfire Blowout Bonanza (bring anything explodeable when tossed in a fire) [sic]
>>13235913
not bad, anon. you got one hell of a spark. put that energy into fiction and I'll pay for it

>>13235979
Good luck anon, can't wait for your novel to become a classic

>>13235979
Can you post a section that you feel exemplifies your best prose? If there's more than one just pick the one that occurs earliest.

Honestly the parts that feel unedited early on are turning me off from reading the whole thing, so I'd like it if there's at least something sublime to look forward to later.

>>13236038
I hear this unedited meme a lot, but I'm a proofreader by profession. I was not going to make a point of it, but I challenge all of these people who say there are errors to actually point out to me an actual grammatical error. I'll fix it if there is one. In publishing we do a 2 week proof, because 2 weeks after it's published there will still be grammatical errors. but actually point it out t em. I play with grammar because I know it so well and I think it's interesting for me to read a writer who fools with grammar. is that not translating to people who are still new to grammar? maybe that's a problem I have.
I don't think there's a good example that can be SC'd. I write in a way that will build up to something huge. but here's something I like.

>>13236107
So, fundamentalist peasants vs cyberpunk cybernetics? Is there divine intervention at play to give the peasants an edge?

>>13236107
By unedited I don't mean grammatical errors, I mean awkward phrasing, sometimes to the point of incomprehensibility (see >>13230520). Even the snippet that you posted has this (e.g the very first line in that screenshot). It's jarring, unpleasant to read and feels like something that hasn't been rewritten in any capacity beyond fixing spelling errors. I wonder if you've actually gone through your work and deleted any major portions of it or completely rewritten large sections from scratch or if you've just been writing continuously for those ten years. Not being snarky, I'm just trying to figure out why you wrote things like:

>Almost as soon as he made it back into his house, and the wooden door slapped shut, did everyone forget about this man, except Paul

the way you did, if that's not the case.

Your other book, Amino, felt way more polished so I assume this was a conscious decision.

>>13235979
>put that energy into fiction and I'll pay for it
The shit people say to get just another cuck to read their shit.

>>13236139
you just hit upon prolly the sickest part of the whole novel right there, anon. though it's not divine. there are so many characters and subplots involved it'll make you think twice before saying "boo" to a goose

>>13236159
it was conscious. good observation. I wrote this book eight years ago. at that time I thought compounded clauses was going to be my style. In my mind, at that time, I thought if you compound clauses in this way, it will actually mimic the way people think (I didn't realize I was crazy at that point) and it will flow much better. now I realize people don't at all think like me, and so most of what I did when I revised this first book was to get rid of a lot of that. but some of it I still really liked, and thought the pacing of it was cool, so I kept it. but, yeah, most of that grammar play which I can see people don't really care for is less prominent as the novel goes on.

>>13234823
Matthew McConaughey

>>13229979
most people don't advise writing your magnum opus as your first book

first you're supposed to get short stories published and a 200-400 page novel to prove to everyone that you can write, and then publishers will trust you to write your ridiculous 2300 page masterpiece

>>13229979

Ok anon I'm on page 11 and this is actually good. Let us talk practical stuff, because I would be really happy if it was published: what have you tried, up to this point? Did you send it to any publishing house? Did you try a literary agency?

I have a little bit of experience in my country with these things (no anglophone country sadly), maybe I can help - I'll sure try if you tell me a bit more of your situation. One advice I would give is to not present it as a full, 2.300 pages novel immediately, but send forth 200/300 pages, maybe cutting it in a part where it makes sense to cut it, and try selling it as a series. Have you tried this? Is it possible to split the novel into parts? Also, another good strategy could be to not present it directly as a sci-fi. I mean, from the first pages it does not immediately come out as that - maybe that can help?

Also, have you tried searching for some awards for unpublished authors? Those can also be a good start to give some visibility to your work. I honestly think you may have something, here.

>>13236565

Sorry, didn't see it's alread in parts - don't mind those questions

>>13229979

Good stuff and best thread on /lit/ right now

bump

>/gd/fag never delivered
Wew. Here's something that took 20 hours in paint

>>13232552
Why won't you hire an editor?

>>13232666
Why do you think that anon?

Unironically, how do you tell if your writing is good or not?

>>13237101
Read books

>>13236991
If I wanted to listen to some cuck whine about his gender I'd listen to Straight White Male, not read 2000 pages about it.

>>13229979

You can publish it via Amazon.

>>13237495
can someone tell me why OP just doesn't do this? It's so easy and there's no real downside, if you don't count the hit to his ego about muh not real publishing

>>13229979
You're an okay writer. Kind of sounds like Infinite Jest which I hated. Definitely not something that I personally would want to read but there's probably an audience out there for you. Just keep writing and improving

>>13236850
cool cover m8
looks very much in line with current trends in book art (not a bad thing just an observation)

>>13232552
Why do you feel the need to write about every single interaction between these people? One of the best pieces of advice I would give to you is to only write what is necessary. Don't give a long-winded description of someone taking a shit unless you see value in a long-winded description of someone taking a shit. There's no value in your description of her leaning on him like that. You're just going through the motion because you THINK authors need to be descriptive. Don't fall into that trap. Give description only as a form of narrative.

>>13237856
I'm guessing he took the maximalistpill from the likes of DFW

Your job works. Objectively speaking. What you have to do is rest for a while and reread it with a new perspective. Now you have moved on to the process of refining.

Be hard on yourself, but don't self-destruct. That new level of analysis you will have in another year without looking at your work.

>>13229979
just split it up into multiple books

I appreciate your effort, bro. Good on you

>>13229979
I'll read it maybe anon of you read mine.

>residents of a Chicago suburb
>the total shutdown of NYC
>Glowbug reshapes the (MURICAN) country
I honestly wanted to give it a try OP, but so tired of everything taking place in America, it's so passé

>>13230334
>I specifically obscured my name because my own feeling is that I am shit.
>Luke Feistamel

Fuck off. Publish on /lit/ publish as anon
But you couldn't do that, could you vain fuckface?

>>13229979
kek nice bait
Short Stories: up to 7,500 words
Novellettes: 7,500 - 17,000
Novellas: 17,000 - 40,000
Novels: 40,000 + words

>>13238395
2300 pages, ~350 words per page. One times another, ~800 000 words. Where's the bait?

>>13238448
my inability to read

just don't send any leather cladded bikers after me for mixing up pages with words
>>13238448

>>13238458
I won't tell them anything. For now.

But they are nearby.

>>13229979
why

This guy gave Moby Dick a 1 star rating on Goodreads.

>implying anything he wrote is worth reading

>>13235801
this, but unironically

You are a strange but beautiful person

>>13229979
You are a joke

Hey OP if you're still around I want to let you know I think it's pretty cool so far. About 120 pages in and I like how you're slowly unveiling this blackout and the ramifications of it. Beyond some obvious roughness in prose I would say my big complaint is that I'm too brainlet to keep track of all the families, there was a solid chunk where I thought every character was a sibling in the initial family.
What's the inspiration for the sort of underlying suburban unhappiness you portray in a lot of the families? Even without the power going out it seems like you've put an edge in the relations of every single household.

BUMP

I’ll read some of it. Best of luck in your future, writing something that long is a tough task.

bump

nice blog

>>13240151
>>13240602
>threads are dying for this
just leave, no one likes your shitty novel

>>13240762
>>threads are dying for this
Are you retarded? Bumping a thread doesn't kill remove anything from the catalogue

>>13240770
>Are you retarded? Bumping a thread doesn't kill remove anything from the catalogue

>>13240774
Go back to fucking /v/ you stench

Sounds interesting OP

>>13240774
Dosen't disprove what I said retard

>>13240762
That is not true and you are so unable to read you're not even reading the thread

Hang yourself and make this trash the next best seller, OP

>>13232666
This. The prose is a mix between boomer (alcohol, sex, etc. all try to pain a "cool" lifestyle) and pseudo-intellectual who swallowed a dictionary ("didactic denouement" simply baka senpai)

>>13240762
This is one of the best threads on /lit/ right now

>>13229979
Self-publish.

>>13241846
Get cancer and rot, maggot. You fucking trash are the only reason that this board has been on a downward spiral since 2013, you fucking spastic. No wonder a thread about some boomer's fantasies in .docx form are considered the best /lit/ has to offer in current year. Do us and your parents a favor and neck yourself.

>>13241924
>been here since 2013
>still acts like a fucking /b/ child

okay

>>13241924
>downward spiral since 2013
No wonder you're such a faggot, you're a newfag

>>13241930
>>13241951
Of course, they were only masking the anger they felt.

>>13241924
Cringe. Anon spent years of his life writing a 2k+ page novel. That's an impressive feat.

>>13236251
Those are lies. first you self publish or come in with a built in fanbase. publishers don't care about quality, they only care if it will sell. I have seen good books go without attention while lesbian YA written by autistic boys has gotten pushed faster than the speed of light.

Worth nothing that short stories are very different in style and skill in one does not translate into skill in 500 page books.

>>13242290
>it's long so it's impressive

if you're going that route, 2k is nothing big

>>13229979
Everybody point and laugh at this autist who's wasted ten years of his life.

>>13229979
>It's definitely more literary than scifi

>>13232552
>This is what's called a draft
Too bad you didn't realise that yourself, anon.

>>13236107
Somebody make it stop. Shite and onions, life's too short.

>>13242290
I wish I were oh so easily impressed.

>>13232552
>draft
it's draught you moron!

>>13242398
>he spent years of his life writing a 2k+ page novel only to spell 'draught' as 'draft'
OH NON NO ONNONONON NON ON ON ON ON NONNNO NNNOOON N HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

>>13242398
>draught
It's daft, you punk!

>>13242290
No, it implies he had nothing better to do for ten years than hack out a pile of pulp trash.

i wanted this to be good but it turns out you wasted your life vro

i believe it was james brown who said "what me do me now"
https://youtu.be/fXO3GdzY0AQ

or was it watch me do me, so long ago now

bump

>>13244466
... are you OP looking for more attention? Surely you've gotten some decent direction by now and should be actively working towards a goal.

>>13244466
kys

You could slowly release it to a web novel site like royalroad and maybe get people to give you money on patreon if people actually like it. Some of the top authors there make pretty good money that way. You could also slowly release it that way, and have the full novel up on Amazon (ideally broken up into a few separate books) so people who want to read the full novel faster will buy it.

oof well you released it already for free, didn't see that. fucking RIP

>>13230404
savage i wus jus playin

>>13244617
>>13244781
>bumping the thread
kys

>>13235801
And then wrote a book about it and go on Oprah and Ellen where everyone in the audience gets a copy under their chairs and is thrilled shitless when that is announced.

>>13238395
>>13238456
fucking retard

why dont u use LaTeX OP

>>13229979
Dreadfully uninteresting. Try getting a job writing manuals.

review bomb OP on goodreads!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>13230104
fucking retard, "cultural marxism" isn't a real thing. But muh identity politics and blah blah... read Adorno or look up culture industry to not come across as some pol brainlet.

>>13232552
The way you write fits rather well with
the operating system you're using.

>>13230616
This is written nothing like Catcher in the Rye which flows beautifully. No wonder you hated it; your aesthetic sense is fucked.

>>13235870

Can you share a passage regarding the epileptic ubermensch?

>>13242415
It's tap, you drunk.

>>13229979
S&W here, you once complimented me in a /crit/ thread. (I wrote about fat guy guts and White Castle sliders if you don't remember) I'm reading Amino now and really enjoying it, keep up the good work my friend! You're an inspiration.

Excerpt of my on-going work if anyone's interested:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lHv5WZgORxmdLhM0ucXo1QiZVTLrofRD/view?usp=drivesdk

>>13246632
Another one. Writing in this stilted cadence. It reads like a telegram. You might as well include the word "stop" after every sentence.

>>13245381
Hey, it was a legitimate question that I had asked and I didn't do it to bump the thread. I wondered if OP was just enjoying the attentions.

>>13245891
I AGREE REVIEW BOMB RTHIS NIG

>>13245974
You have to go back, tourist.

>>13242398
Isn't that the British-English spelling?

OP, what sort of publisher did you go to? You said you've published books before. How much money did you make on each one?

>>13247086
You mean the English spelling?

>>13247098
nah you have to specify for the ameritards

>>13247087
I'm pretty sure he said 'self-publish'
>>13246836
Thanks for taking the time to read my work, kind anon.
Can you talk more about your problem, is it just personal stylistic preference or do you really find it an issue to be fixed?
Do you find the prose to be too rigid and doesn't flow properly?

>>13247134
But he complained about publishers not accepting him.

>>13246632
I'll read it, S&W.
You start by describing a situation which creates a question in the reader's mind, which is great. Makes us want to keep reading.
I agree with this anon >>13246836 except I kind of like the style. It just needs a bit more variety in the sentences. Start more sentences with dependent clauses, but not dangling modifiers, such as "Arms high with his..." because those can be confusing.
The list idea is cool, but you maybe need to build more credit with the reader before getting into a good list.
Overall, it's engaging. I think you're one of the few writers actually better at descriptions (narrative) than dialog, which is good. I would say cut the dialog down. A lot books end up being tons of dialog because that's all the writer can do, but writing dialog well is like writing teleplays. It's not really a literary talent. You have a lot of great stuff to work with, and it's a good sign that you're willing to take advice and revise, etc. Godspeed

>>13229979
I'm sorry for your pain, anon.
In my opinion your prose is kinda ugly, almost tone-deaf, but i'm just a dumb anon, so what do I know.
I wish you all the luck.

>>13236565
>>13247087
Some people are legitimately interested in the process of trying to get published. So I will share my experience.
I did self-publish. Before that, I sent queries out to numerous agents (no publishers except DAW, because most don't accept manuscripts) for all the books I finished and revised. Never got any response back except form rejections. Usually no response at all. Sometimes the rejection was so quick it was clear they couldn't have read the book. For Glowbug I did present it as a scifi series. I would say within the last year or two, almost all agents will ask you how many social media followers you have. If you have none, or less than whatever number their algorithm set as min, it's an auto reject. That's how the publishing industry works now. In short, there will never be literature published under this system, unless some e-celeb is somehow also the next Faulkner or Tolstoy, which seems highly doubtful based on the e-celebs I've seen.

>>13247302
Okay, that makes sense given the two YouTube personalities I'm aware of that has published books, at least on a kindle platform (Demo, Dishonored Wolf, and Joseph Anderson)

>>13247311
>two
*three
>>13247302
Anyway, so they won't even publish on a solely-electronic platform like kindle? I would have thought that they would since it's no cost if at all.

>>13247298
Thanks, anon. Though there is no pain in writing. Writing is an escape from pain. It makes me happy. I don't feel like I wasted years of my life doing the thing that makes me most happy. I understand most people won't like what I wrote. Everyone has their own tastes. I posted it for the people who will like it, because I promised I would, and I want to make others happy. That's why I started this thread. Never meant to make so many people angry. Thanks for reading.

>>13247316
I did work at a publishing house. most of their costs go into marketing, and these publishing houses have little money. so if they know you could market it yourself, you're not a liability to them. Also, and there are other costs involved, like proofing, and with all the overhead, they have to be selective. It's not like they're evil. They're just existing in a marketplace where very few people read outside of school, and most of the books that are being read are either legal or non-fiction. so fiction because very tight

>>13247250
Thanks Luke.
I'll keep on writing and learn how to improve.
Just wanting to tell you that you've helped me out a lot from your posts and threads, a lot of good advice you've learned from experience and help me clear some of my own fear and self-doubts.
>>13247302
That's really sad.
Have you tried out some of the more indie or weirder publisher companies btw? Like Eraserhead or Copeland Valley Press (they published Dreams of Amputation, by some mystery niggas with zero reviews and ratings on Amazon and Goodreads yet have written reviews from Nick Land and Negarestani themselves)

>>13247331
I've tried a few small publishers, but not the one's you've mentioned. Thanks for letting me know. We're here to teach/help each other is how I look at it. though if people are brutal to us, it will only make us better

>>13247318
Even though I don't really enjoy your prose(from what I can gather based off what I've read, at least), I hope to one day gain your unfiltered drive for writing and getting your work out there.
I definitely have a passion for the craft but more than ever lately I find myself getting so stressed and angry at anything I write; it feels like every day I write at a slower rate just because I take so much time trying to make sure the form is coming out exactly the way I want it to, and of course in the end it still doesn't. It feels like it never will at this point, and there's a lot of times where I'm not sure if I should be reading or if I should be writing, if that makes sense

>>13247326
Well, I never said they were evil, it just seems a bit odd not to just e-publish more of what comes through.
I'm just a bit worried because I've got story ideas that I would like to use for money, but then, of course, assuming I actually do get a book even e-published, the issue is whether I could even live off the money. I don't know about you, but I like being a NEET.

>>13247364
just keep at it. I felt exactly what you're describing for five years or more. thought about giving up many times. then things all suddenly started coming together (not according to you!). but to each his own.
>>13247365
you need some good old Protestant Work Ethic. stop building castles in the sky. no one makes money off of writing unless they're already rich

>>13247456
Well how do run-of-the-mill romance authors survive on their works?

>>13247463
I mean, they publish dozens of works. I could do that, but besides that, I can make games and drawings. With the combined income, I can say good bye to wageslavery.

>>13247481
See, problem with work is that it tires me out. When I'm tired, I can't appreciate works/can't create works.

>>13229979
This seems to be the critique thread for now so i'll be dropping my work for review too. Thanks to anyone that reads it means a lot to me: http://txt.do/1dcee

>>13247556
Mental Illness/10 Actually kind've creepy feeling and written alright. But where would you go with this? Besides making me anxious and worried for the narrator.

>>13247556
>first sentence
uhhh
>2nd
mehhhh
>3rd
dropped

It's unpleasant to read anon
Is this really have you want to write?
reads like a NEET's diary, which I assumed to be the actual case

>>13247563
Yes, but if anything I would've liked you to read more.

>>13247563
Alright, my judgement was prolly a little too harsh.
I read some more and it gets better and better, I can really feel the anxiety coming off the page
You need a stronger opening, anon
Either rephrase it or rewrite it completely

>>13247556
I really like how uncomfortable this excerpt feels, from the first sentence even
I'll say that it doesn't really build up or anything, just kind of plateau's

hmm

>>13247858
LFMAOOOO

>>13247086
Yeah it is, but I didn’t think there was a difference, maybe there is doe

>>13247302
Your casual writing is a lot better than the prose in Glowbug (I like the title). Have you considered writing in a style similar to your posting style?

>>13247134
>Can you talk more about your problem, is it just personal stylistic preference or do you really find it an issue to be fixed?
>Do you find the prose to be too rigid and doesn't flow properly?
I'd only read the first few lines last night. The issue's only there and resolves soon after; and in context (hectic/confused) it's a non-issue anyway.

>>13229979
Hey OP, I have yet to check out your document, but:
I would say I really like your first paragraph in the OP pic. The narration's persona has personality to it. BUT I think in your later sections you've shared, this voice seems lost, and as other anons have said, you use way too many words. I would think about cutting out some more adverbs, and consider simplifying your vocabulary. It seems like you've bought in to the "don't repeat the same word to close to each other" meme, and that has made some of the stuff come off as a little pretentious.

>>13232552
thigh kino

>>13232666
post novel

>>13229979
Interesting, can you upload a epub version?

>>13249737
seconding this
I'll pay actual money if you publish it through Amazon or a website or something (I paid shekels for Amino, hope you got em)
Even better with Physical books made with services like Lulu
100 dorra for a signed edition
Make it happen, Luke

>>13229979
>commas before "and"
I wonder why you didn't get it published?

>>13235870
So you're really just a doomer /pol/nigger? I should have known when you said "it's over a thousand pages long".

>>13245974
see
>>13247070

>>13250084
Is that all you can say about years and years of someone's hardwork?
Some baseless conjectures and referring to him as a feral basketball American?
How about you read the damn thing, at least a few pages before dropping bombs around, nigger.

>>13229979
>>13229999 >>13230005 >>13230009 >>13230031 >>13230034 >>13230073 >>13230079 >>13230111 >>13230139 >>13230324 >>13230417 >>13230501 >>13230520 >>13230705 >>13232558 >>13233324 >>13234639 >>13234654 >>13234824 >>13235067 >>13235801 >>13235889 >>13235976 >>13236251 >>13236565 >>13236628 >>13237495 >>13237842 >>13237912 >>13237981 >>13238395 >>13238820 >>13239499 >>13241856 >>13242360 >>13242371 >>13245667 >>13246632 >>13247298 >>13247556 >>13248970 >>13249737 >>13250042
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0EkDdSP8xuN

>>13250118
>REEEE NIGGGERRRR REEEE
yeah, I didn't strike a nerve or anything.

>>13250118
Do everyone here a favour and slit your fucking throat. If you don't want to do it for us, at least do it for your parents you fucking parasite.

>>13250140
based

>>13250140
Your existence is a gift to humanity.
Anon, thank you.

>>13250140
someone is mad.

>>13250206
Someone is talentless.

>>13229979
Luke, I'll level with you, buddy. You need to edit it way down if you want me to read it. My two cents.

>>13250140
Nice redditor onions voice

>>13250239
I've often noticed that editing is awfully essential to great literature. But when authors get too big for their britches, they are allowed to write shit as carte blanche mandate which ruins books.

>>13245974
Go onto Twitter and look up the accounts of all the largest literary agents taking submissions
>we want PoC characters
>we want trans
>we love diverse books
>I want a story about a Muslim who falls in love with a Christian and gets bullied by the Christian family
>daily virtue signal about -----phobia
>I want stories of mixed race romances
>I want a story with a kick ass trans character
>I want a story with a female warrior who takes on the universe
>muh drumph!
>we need more children's stories with a gay character
>I want a picture book where the character has two mommies

>>13250227
EPIC.

>>13250271
>Cultural Marxism isn't a boogeyman! Look at Twitter! Sometimes publishers want gay characters! That's bad you know!
yikes and /pol/retardpiled.

>>13250271
>almost 90 percent of these aren't even bad story prompts to anyone who isn't quite literally some ultra conservative Naziboo type

>>13250271
>markism is when blacks in movie and boooks - karl the marks, 1940

>>13250271
Cry more, faggot.

>>13242350
from what he says he is 1/4 the way there

>>13237281
This, unironically.

>>13250140
That's reddit for you.

Have you tried using a Jewish pseudonym?
>>13248240
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/using-draft-and-draught

>>13250140

>>13250140

>>13230208
Three body problem collectors hardcover

>>13250140
cringe

This shit was painful to read. I swear my 14 year old brother writes better than this.

American education man.

>>13251001
t. didn't read at all

>>13250140
Unronically based post.

>>13251005
I've read his screen shots on this thread. I didn't read 2,300 if the 2 pages posted are high school tier.

Also his grammar is all over the place

>>13251027
Great analysis retard

>>13250271
I'm in the process of writing a book and I unironically flipped the races of some characters and added more faggotry in just so it would do better

>>13251032
I have a degree in literature from Oxford. By authority my opinions > yours.

>>13232552
This is so fucking bad desu did you not even try to get an editor and a few people to read this first before you spewed it out?

>>13250140

>>13251049
>I have a degree in literature from Oxford
Not him but I highly doubt anyone who posts here has a degree in literature.

>>13251077
then your new and should go back to redit thanks bai

>>13251089
>REEE YOU NU AND REBBBIT
anon, it's just like how I don't honestly believe /his/ is filled with historians. A board full of christcucks and oddball conservatives are very unlikely educated, especially fucking Oxford educated.

>>13251112
Many guys I know used to post on 4chan. Oxford is smart but there's still hermits

Only read the first couple of pages and it's very obvious you haven't read much literature. You ramble and talk like a layman. Go read all the fiction you can get your hands on and then give the thing another shot hundreds of books later. You have the will and imagination but not the ability.

>>13251112
>posting on /his/
damn, sorry for insulting redditors
and you should definitely go back to your shithole

>>13251135
I didn't say that I posted on /his/, you illiterate fagtoid.

>>13251133
>read instead of write
It's true that writing more can't always help, no matter how many millions of words some people vomit. However, you can't get better if you don't practice, what's needed is a change in mindset, somebody to give feedback perhaps. You can't get good if you are blind to your mistakes and feel no need to improve.

>>13229979
kek I'm just quickly skimming through the pages and already a bunch of fuckery pops up. They are not destructing they are destroying. Also what the fuck is this description of the dude's haircut? Why couldn't have you just hired an editor to go through it? Why did you give up trying to get it published? Now it will never gt published if it's actually 2300 pages that's too fucking long you could have brokenb this up into multiple parts edited a chunk out of it or even made it into a book series

>>13235870
Hi Anon,

I read a few of the SCs here and this blurb, and I love it. I think ur good, ur a good writer, way to stick with that shit through.

I don't know if I'll read the novel -- there's a lot I want to read out there -- but way to go, pal. Live!

>>13251077
unironically i do and my parents nearly disowned me welp
>>13229979
the segments posted are, unfortunately, uninteresting - the book seems to have a specific target audience in mind (meaning you) and thus would fail in any sort of mass publication
the size doesn't matter (unintentional)- if you wanted something to be published by an agent, you could submit the first book, heavily edited down to a mere skeleton and do what most fiction writers do in the world (which is a pretty good decision on their behalf) and leave the events just after the first "battle" with the antagonist and thus the future of the protag is a mere cliff hanger

DONT GIVE UP though, the world needs people to write as much as it needs people to breathe
i'd suggest getting some close friends to read through with a red pen, marking through each page what they dont like (if anything is glaring) and then deciding whether their opinions can help form something closer to a target audience

anyway, good luck friend! and to everyone on this board who are writers, gl with writing too!

>>13251517

lad destructing is better there it's an opposite to building which is an act of putting pieces together into a whole, destructing works as a separation of a whole into its pieces whereas destroying decreates a whole but not necessarily into its integral and original parts, the end pile of a destroying suggests a rubble of broken bits. destructing gives the scene a legolosity destroying wouldnt. sorry but im with feistamel here

>>13236107
You're very bad at finding character names.

>>13250140
Feistamel finally lost it

>>13250288
>>13250300
>>13250303
>>13250316
>>13251037
>never submitted to an agent or publishing house
You guys don't know how bad it is

>>13252145
shit, if i spent 10 years writing a 2,300pg novel only for it to be torn apart by 4chan niggas i'd drop a bollock or two as well

>>13250140
Sounds like a onions bobcat goldthwait

>>13252170
>/pol/ brainwashed me into thinking everything is crisis mode forever
You're being taken advantage of, mate. Nobody cares about fictional gay or Muslim characters.

>>13251961
Why would your parents disown you because you got accepted into an Ivy League?

>>13252019
>destructing is better
Ha, no it's not.

>>13229979

I've never heard this name pronounced. Is "Duane" the same as "Dwayne"?

>written in OpenOffice
you were so close to having the good kind of autism.

>>13252784
What's the better alternative? Libre Office?

>>13252623
for studying literature opposed to mathematics

>>13253228
>WAHH WAHHH OUR SON STUDIED LITERALLY ANYTHING AT OXFORD, WHAT AM EMBARRASSMENT
Either this is a fake story or your parents are actual retards.

>>13253238
no, my mother just had stupid expectations for me desu

>>13252784
why does the processor matter

>>13252974
Yes. Open Office was forked a long time ago, you shouldn't use it anymore.

>Best book I have ever read in my entire life (i'm on page 10 rn so more on it later)

>>13250140
Embarrassing voice

>>13250140
Looks like this sperg-tastic post managed to steal the show. Is this poetry in motion? I don't know if it counts as /lit/ but it's definitely more interesting than whatever the shitlord tripfags have shitted out as "writing" so far.

>>13250140
>>13253968
oh wait this was him? I literally felt so bad for the autistic person's voice recording he stole.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH COMIGN TO 4CHAN AND THINKING EVERYONE GONNA LIck your ass BUT WRITING IS FUCKING TRASHHHHHHH

>>13253968
>>13253999
Nope, someone posted it in /vg/ yesterday, in a gacha general. I saw it and posted here, I've been ripping into this hack in this thread. It's not him but it's better this way.

>>13254017
oh thankkkkkk fuck

>>13250140
based

>>13250140

>>13251961
>DONT GIVE UP though, the world needs people to write as much as it needs people to breathe

what does this mean haha? not trying to be mean but i thought this was Awfully paradoxical because though the sentiment is DOnt give Up <33 the comparison is likening Writing to redundancy! alas!

>>13250554
>https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/using-draft-and-draught
You learn something new everyday.

>>13250140
based and cringe

>>13250140
Did this post kill the OP? Or was this actually the OP after all, leaving the board after taking 2 shits on us

>>13250140
Based :3

>>13250140
go read a book for once in your hopeless life

>>13232552
nigger this is painful to read. have you ever considered that your not getting published might have less to do with a leftist conspiracy than with your grasp of literary english being fairly poor? all this shit like "as she smiled with her lips which were covered in lipstick and frowning until now, the sofa was brown" is straight out a teenager's first harry potter fanfiction.

>>13250140
is this mason from dota2? holy fucking shit

please return Luke

>>13250140
Based zoomer

>>13229979
>>13230018

>2,300 page novel
>sci-fi

aaaaand I'm out

>>13236159
>I wonder if you've actually gone through your work

Of course he hasn't, are you retarded? It would take 20 years to edit that babel of trash

>>13236107
You should give up.

>>13257329
doesn't sound as fat to be mason