/lit/ - Literature

>arrive at Faulkner's house for dinner
>his wife says "good evening darling"

>go to hemingway's house for dinner
>He says 3 words at a time

>go round to DFW's house for dinner
>he's hung on the porch

>>12895881
>He's hung on the porch
>He's hung
More like Infinite Test

>go to McCarthy's house for dinner
>he spits in the food

>go round to JK Rowlings house for dinner
>we do leg stretching exercises

>Go to a restaurant run by Joyce.
>Tfw I can't understand the menu.

>go to thomas pynchon's house for dinner
>he serves bananas on the toilet

>go round to Pynchon's house for dinner
>it's bananas again

>>12895895
fuck you man you made me spill my drink

Also
>go to Mishima's house
>he's got a knife in his stomach

>>12895401

>Go round to Chesterton's house for dinner
>He serves good beer and hearty cheese, we actually have a great conversation about hating feminism and now I have to be a Catholic

>meeting camus for a casual stroll on the beach
>it's real sunny

>go to richard connell's house
>Anon you wouldnt like to play a game would you?

>meet up with Henry James for dinner
>we read and reread the menu, discuss what we will order in enormous detail, flirt with the waitresses, ask ourselves if we came to the right restaurant, ponder for a while about wine pairings, but never actually eat

>Henry Miller comes round for dinner
>every week

>go to Dostoevsky's house for dinner
>he's holding pic related

>>12896024
oh boy, are you an arab?

>go to my house for dinner
>eat alone

>go to Beckett's house for dinner
>8 stones and a cycling strategy

>Go out with Ayn Rand for dinner
>she makes me pay

>go to Houellebecq's for dinner
>it's half-frozen instant food and cheap wine
>he calls two african prostitutes after dinner

>go to Proust for a dinner
>he eats my ass

>>12895911
She says that I was gay all along

>Go to wittgensteins for dinner with my son
>...

>>12895401
>take a drink with Poe
>I hear a fucking heart beat below me

>go to Jane Austen's House for dinner
>after my first bite she turns to her friend, whispers 'of course, anon would eat' and they spend the rest of the evening tittering at me

>go to achebe for dinner
>he's fresh out of yams

>>12896058
Kek

>go to Bolano's for dinner
>On October 14th, the body of anon was found. He was dressed in a graphic t and cargo pants. Death, according to the forensic report, was due to strangulation from asphyxiation. The body showed signs of having been raped orally and anally. The semen samples sent to Hermosillo were lost and the case was subsequently dropped

>go to miltons house for supper
>he asks me to read his poetry out loud

>>12896193
Hot ziggety, it's cheese and bread again!

>>12896126
The lass would clearly be the type to autistically insist on paying the exact value for each morsel consumed

>>12896089
>go to Dostoevsky's house
>he starts narrating things about me he couldn't possibly know

>go to borges’ house for elevenses
>by the time i get through the labyrinth its fucking dinner time

>>12896242
>it's another "anon why does God allow suffering" episode in the middle of my god damn meal

>Go to former classmates going away party, uninvited
>They completely ignore me

>>12895881

Lol

I know I shouldn’t be laughing at this, but it was very nicely done

>go to dostoyevskys apartment
>a roulette wheel is flying out the window

>>12896024
One of the few i got

>go to Gogol's provincial town uninvited
>never pay for a meal, everybody treats me like royalty, no idea why

>>12895401
Just excuse yourself before the third course. Since you're not there, and the gun has to go off, he will be forced to shoot himself.

>Go to Ayn Rand's house for Supper.
>She and I have a relaxing conversation about the world.

>going on a walk on the beach with Jesus
>look back and there's two sets of footprints

>go to Kafka's house for dinner
>there's no food

>go to Stephen King's house for a seven-course meal
>it's McDonald's

>go to Goncharov's house for dinner
>he never gets out of bed and sends me away after ten minutes

>>12896437
Why?

>>12896437
don't talk down about steamed hams

>>12896432
>>there's no food
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F44xQcbvdds

>meet with Hunter S. Thompson for some mezcal
>he starts doing cocaine seriously

>go to PG Woodhouse for dinner
>A girl is waiting for me there and informes me that we are getting married

>>12895401
>head to Dazai's apartment for dinner
>he tells me we need to go panhandle for booze money
>mfw i thought we were gonna have din

>go to Bataille's house for dinner
>it's eggs again

>go to andre's house for dinner
>"Tell me more"

>>12895401
>go to Nabokov’s house for dinner
>I’m 12

>>12896480
>go to owl farm ranch for dinner
>we eat shotgun blasts

>go to Hesse for dinner
>draw mandala instead

>>12896462
what a kafkaesque album amirite

>go around to Tolstoy's house for a dinner
>the dinner is 100 glasses of water

>Tolstoy wants to meet at the train station again

>>12896458
"I am the literary equivalent of a big mac and fries"
t. Stephen King you newfaggot retard

>got o Melville's house for breakfast
>sardines

>go round to Kafka's house for dinner
>he's under the bed

>>12896567
>go to kafkas house for dinner
he's in an ashtray

>>12896228
>dressed
Best one

>>12896206
>mfw no 1800's qts titter at me

>>12896199
>take a drink with Faulkner
>the busted watch in my pocket is still ticking

>go to melville's house for breakfast
>try to secretly film him with my phone

>go to shakespeares for dinner
>it’s bacon

>go to bulgakov's house
>a cat holding a wine glass is sitting at the table already

>>12896856
Heh

>go 'round to Murakami's apartment for dinner
>it's spaghetti, not quite al dente

>>12896209
fuck...

>Go to Cheever's for dinner
>His wife makes eyes at me the whole meal
>He gives me a handjob on the ride to the train station

>>12896258
>go to Borges' house for a meal
>he serves me the entirety of time and space on a plate

>>12896856
give this man a nobel. i just got an erection

>go to Solzhenitsyn's house for dinner
>he makes an off-color remark about leader Stalin
>phone the People's Commissariat for Internal Affairs

>>12896913
reddit

>>12895401
>stately plump my way down Joyce’s for dinner
>gonzogola sandwhiches and burgundy again
>mumbles something about truffles
>farts loudly and laughs uncontrollably before quickly suppressing
>follows me, tries to get in taxi otw home

>>12896927
oh go fuck you nigger killjoy. i have a soft spot for shakespeare

>go to Chinua Achebe's house for dinner
>it's fucking yams again

>>12896913
you have to go back

>>12896940
you have to kill yourself faggot

>go to J. R. R. Tolkien's house for breakfast
>he invites me to stay for second breakfast

>>12896979
Peak comfy

>>12896927
reddit is based

>>12895401
>go to Gene Wolfe's house for dinner
>end up eating his brain

>>12896549
explain this one pls

>>12896931
Underrated

>>12896274
kek

>>12896296
Quality pic related.

>ask out schopenhauer for dinner
>the idea pleases him

>>12896209
lmfao

>pondering if i should go to kierkegaard's house for dinner
>it doesnt matter the decision i will regret it either way

>>12896137
kek

>>12897157
>go to schoppenhauer for dinner
>he brings divorce statistics

>>12896462
they didnt play this live either time i saw them

>>12896565
underrated

>>12897046
Boдa (water) is sort of slang in Russian language that stands for unnecessary stuff in writings like linking words, out of place descriptions and all that jazz

>>12896296
>Chad Chadovich
top kek

>go out with kafka
>get arrested immediately

>>12897318
thanks, interesting

>>12896228
Great one

>meet up with Dickens for supper
>end up walking continuously all night long through the slums

>go to wildes house for dinner
>and then we have gay fucking sex with each other

>>12897522
underageb&

>go to neetzches house for dinner
>horse steak

>go to Stephenie Meyer's house for dinner
>forget to bring strychnine for her food

>go round to calvino's house for spaghetti
>there's a note informing me to meet him next door
>go next door and find calvino making hamburgers
>as he serves me the turn into pizza
>he tells me we'll have to go to the next house over if we want to eat our steaks

>>12896856

Fucking genius

>>12897318
Я этoгo нe знaлa

>>12896432
Had the same experience at Hamsun's

>go to John Williams for dinner
>we get fucking blazed and have extra-ordinary experience

>spaghetti at Dijkstra's
>can't get my goddamn forks

>joyce call you to diner
>".... oh, and by the way, bring the umbrella.

>go out fishing with Hemingway
>He's steering the boat towards an iceberg

>dinner at Lovecraft's
>meet his cat

>dinner at Danielewski's
>wants to show me his closet

>>12897739
wtf don't say it

>>12897000
trips don't lie

>>12897580
kek

>>12896232
underrated

>>12897739
>dinner at Mishima's
>the meal is cat

>dinner at kant's
>tells me it's good before even tasting

What’s this, a good thread on /lit/?

>Go to Tao Lin's for dinner
>It's whale

>have big bbq with all the anons in this thread
>finally have frens and fun

>>12897864
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3SxEOvAOEg

>>12896432
>go to Kafka's house for dinner
>he just throws an apple at me

>go to john green's house for dinner
>he just serves cheerios
>ask him if someone else has already eaten my bowl of cheerios because they seem soggy
>he asks me if i have a problem with that

>>12897904
kek

>>12897888
Noice

>go to Bölls house for dinner
>lobster, caviar and champagne but he keeps stealing the house maids potatoes

>Go to Kafka's house for dinner
>He tells me to wait outside while he prepares the meal, and I grow old and wither, waiting to be allowed in.

>Go to Joyce's for dinner
>It's word salad

>go round to PKDs house for dinner
>It's a pray can and coke

>go to Philip K. Dick's house for dinner
>or did I?

>>12897993

God damnit

>Go to Rulfo's home for dinner
>it's in the middle of fucking nowhere and everyone's a farmer
>also they're all dead

>Go to Frank Herbert's house for dinner
>He's added chilis to everything

>go round to Gaddis' house for dinner
>after an hour of delightful conversation with William I realize I had actually been speaking with two or three unknown individuals the entire time

>Go to Burroughs's house for lunch
>He asks me to take my clothes off

>go round to Nietzsches house for dinner
>he serves a six hour contradicting monologe and everyone constantely claps

>>12898044
Fucking kek

>go round to Chuck Palahniuk's house for dinner
>Its been replaced by Sneed's Feed and Seed

>go the bronte's house for dinner
>the room is cold and dark, the food tastes bad, the servants are mean, and everybody is autistically arguing about something
>also i'm pretty sure i heard a woman's scream from the attic

>>12895401
>check watch
>it's the end of the Second Act

>Bored and curious
>sort Uber by rating, lowest first
>Kerouac

>>12896239
>My wife gave him some Swiss cheese and rye bread for lunch, which he greatly liked. Thereafter he more or less insisted on eating bread and cheese at all meals, largely ignoring the various dishes that my wife prepared. Wittgenstein declared that it did not much matter to him what he ate, so long as it always remained the same. When a dish that looked especially appetizing was brought to the table, I sometimes exclaimed “Hot Ziggety!” — a slang phrase that I learned as a boy in Kansas. Wittgenstein picked up this expression from me. It was inconceivably droll to hear him exclaim “Hot Ziggety!” when my wife put the bread and cheese before him.

My analytic can't be this cute!

>go to García Márquez's house for dinner
>his wife, mistress, 13 sons, step-brother, uncle, great-grandma, pet cow and the ghost of his great-great-uncle are there

>>12898090
>not Wolfe

>Go to Plath's house for dinner
>She went to check the food 30 minutes ago...

>go to Bret Easton Ellis’s for dinner
>he is wearing a Navy pinstriped Armani suit with a light blue Dolce and Gabbani shirt, a red and gold stripped Gucci tie and black John Lobb balmorals

>go round to Jack London's place for dinner
>raw caribou meat and a cup of pine tea

>Go to O'hara's house for lunch
>Just keeps writing poems

>>12898142
Kekkek

>Go round Homer's house for dinner
>he cuts out the thigh bones, wraps them in fat and sets fire to them

This is literally the best /lit/ thread in a very long time

>>12898128
kekekekek

>Go round Umberto Ecos house for dinner
>He tricks me into liking his meal before revealing to me it was all just a practical joke

>>12897607
>знaлa
пpивeтик))))))))) Лoндoнгpaд?

>go to Sam Clemen's house for dinner
>it's catfish and mud turkles

>>12898168
i guarantee it's gonna end up on the top of r/4chan

>>12895865
>What's for dinner?
>Baby shoes

This is the best /lit/ thread since Catgirl Misaki the Vampire Hunter
>>12895401
>>12895865
>>12895897
>>12895911
>>12895915
>>12895916
>>12895918
>>12895922
>>12896024
>>12896058
>>12896089
>>12896126
>>12896137
>>12896199
>>12896206
>>12896228
>>12896232
>>12896242
>>12896258
>>12896437
>>12896457
>>12896480
>>12896565
>>12896931
>>12897731
>>12897778
>>12897904
>>12897988
>>12898029
>>12898044
>>12898056
>>12898075
>>12898128
Top tier

>>12898374
>look mom I replied to everyone haha

>go to robert caro's house for dinner
>he spends 3 hours giving a history of dinner in american society
>ina serves french cuisine
>power goes out

>>12896066
>go to Henry Miller's "house" (hovel) for dinner
>5 whores being fucked in the adjacent room

>>12895401
>go round to Don DeLillo's house for dinner
>wife has misplaced their youngest child
>half-daughter is being bright and precocious
>half-son is being intelligent, pessimistic, and critical
>ask him what his wife is serving for dinner
>Don replies: "It's a German dish but I don't know what it's called."

>>12897665
heh

>go to Dijkstra’s for dinner
>he opens the door and yells GOTO CONSIDERED HARMFUL

>>12898421
imagine being this depressed and bitter that you have to constantly reply in a negative way in a thread filled with so much creativity

>>12898374
>tfw you left mine out
was it not funny? :- (

>>12898507
Le redditor spotted!

>invited to Nassim Taleb's for dinner
>keep hearing 'quack' from kitchen
>tfw i hate duck

>go to Bukowski's house for dinner
>it's old grand dad and cigarettes again

>Go to Pynchon's house for dinner
>It's overcooked

>>12898521
weak rebuttal you raging faggot. still havent killed yourself i see.

>go to David Foster Wallace's for dinner
>there's footnotes in the salad

>>12896504
With a side of bull testicles.

>Go to William Carlos Williams' house for dinner
>He's already eaten it

>>12898514
I probably wasn't smart enough to get it, I'm sure it's my fault

>>12895865
>Go to Hemingway's house for a dinner party
>tfw the drinks are cold and clear and true

>Go to George R. R. Martin's house for dinner
>Seven courses were served, in honor of the seven gods and the seven brothers of the Kingsguard. The soup was made with eggs and lemons, the long green peppers stuffed with cheese and onions. There were lamprey pies, capons glazed with honey, a whiskerfish from the bottom of the Greenblood that was so big it took four serving men to carry it to table. After that came a savory snake stew, chunks of seven different sorts of snake slow-simmered with dragon peppers and blood oranges and a dash of venom to give it a good bite. The stew was fiery hot, Hotah knew, though he tasted none of it. Sherbet followed, to cool the tongue. For the sweet, each guest was served a skull of spun sugar. When the crust was broken, they found sweet custard inside and bits of plum and cherry.

>>12897580
Underrated.

>>12896066
Hahahahahahahahahahaha

>get invited by Victor Hugo
>hearing someone sharpening his knives loudly when I refer about Napoleon III

>arrive at M. Ageyev's house for dinner
>the postbox has a different name

>sushaku endo invites me for a morning walk
>someones following us
>its kichijiro

>>12898176
>Go round Umberto Ecos house for dinner
>leave hungry because I didn't get it

>>12895401
>Go to faulkner's house for supper
>He wants to take his horses down to the old town road

>>12898750
He was behind the library

>return to Dan Simmons' house for another tasty dinner
>he's sulking in the corner
>"the muslims did this"
>there's no dinner

>>12898639

heh

>it's cold over at vonnegut's house
>luckily have this warm blanket

>>12898822
Dumbass
>go round to vonnegut's house for dinner
>he keeps trying to show me a photo of a horse fucking a woman and insisting he has a huge cock

>>12898831
i just want my jizz blanket

>Durrell is hosting a dinner party
>Skip it because I don't even like lemons

>go to kostolyani's house for dinner
>greeted by an ugly girl

>go to Babchenko's for dinner
>get beat to shit before even arriving there

>go to Haruki Murakami's for dinner
>end up in an alternate universe

Someone explain this meme.

>>12898164

Underrated

>Go to Samuel Johnson's house for dinner
>He breaks into a sweat eating and its only the second course

>Dinner at Dosto's
>it's another 15 page rant on Catholicism

>>12898988
there's nothing to explain, tourist

>Go to Milton's house for dessert
>He offers me apple pie

>Go to Plato's house for dinner
>We end up having a dialogue for 56 hours after the meal

>go to dinner at Melville's
>it's whale steak again

>Go to Harold Bloom's house for dinner
>Tfw when he cooks with discernible talent

>go to Dante's for dinner
>there's a floor show with a ton of people larping the Bible

>Bartleby the scrivener comes to my house for dinner
>Stays for breakfast

>>12899021
Harold Bloom wrote a novel so bad that he has actively tried to suppress it, actually

>>12899016
>attend tao lin's fundraiser gathering for his next novel
>the next night we ate whale

>>12898552
kek

>>12898308
Should I have used знaл? I haven’t learned past-tense yet. Я живy в Aмepикe

>Go to Homer's for dinner twice
>A delicious filet mignon the first night, and some expertly cooked authentic fettucine alfredo the second
>Go to Virgil's house for dinner the next week
>He cooked hamburger helper and can't stop talking about how it's better than Homer's meals

>>12899099

>>12899084
oh, yeah, probably. знaлa is feminine, so I was just teasing you by saying L O N D O N. It's знaл if you're a guy.

>go to Caesar's house for dinner
>we're having corn again

>>12899190
lmao

>>12899190
surprised it took this long

>go to Jünger's house for dinner
>a shell comes through the ceiling and demolishes the building, with splinters flying into and instantly killing three guests
>Jünger remains seated and calmly asks if I want any biscuits

>>12899263
ded

>>12895401
>go to Melville's boat for whale trip
>Captian has one leg

>>12899263

>Go to Owens house for dinner with my mate
>Tfw when he only has one gas mask for guests

>>12899285
Leave 4channel

>go to Haruki Murakami's for dinner
>watch him drink beer and fuck fat chicks for two weeks

>go to anon's house for dinner
>look at books in home library
>all visibly unread

>go to sartre's house for dinner
>simone sucks me off under the table

>Go to Sasha Grey's house for dinner
>Very well read and thoughtful about existentialism

>>12898639
>No lemoncakes
>No description of his clothes of ermine and Myrish lace

>go to Brian Jacques' house for dinner
>he made a massive feast of delicious food beyond description that could feed a hundred people but there are mice and squirrels running all over the fucking place eating everything

>>12895401
>go to Baudelaire s house for dinner
>first course is wine and opium with human tears seasoning
>for the second course the beautiful servant girl proceeds to tear out his heart from his chest and boils it before me
>it s delicious
>before dessert I notice a miniature sphinx has sat on my lap and started purring menacingly
>dessert is two naked lesbians priestess eating each other out
>dinner ends in complete silence

>>12899396
>dinner ends in complete silence
I would think so, the host is dead at the table

>>12899309
>visibly unread
This is such a dumb old meme. My copy of IJ is in amazing shape. Not everyone is stuffing a 900 page book in a fucking backpack so they can spend 10 minutes hoping an art hoe will notice them between class.

>>12898150
kek

>>12899407
Fucking this

>go to Dr. Seuss's for dinner
>serves me rotten breakfast

>go to Nabokov's for dinner
>stand with him in the kitchen while he's making an amazing coque à vin and I joke that he's "a regular Gordon Ramsay"
>he flings the pan at my head and yells that he's never heard of Gordon Ramsay but that if he had he would know that Gordon Ramsay is a retarded little bitch who can't make ramen noodles properly

>go to Jesus's for dinner
>just fucking bread
>every time I take a bite a piece of Jesus disappears

>go to whitman's for dinner
>offers me grass
>hellyeahletsgethigh.jpg
>he brings out plates of fescue

>>12899403
He s alive but heartless. Such is the power of his demonic servant girl. Also he has aphasia.

>>12899444

>Go to Jesus' for dinner
>Dip my bread to start, everyone's staring daggers at me

>go to anons for dinner
>he keeps saying the steak reminds him of his lack of a spouse

>go to raymond carver's for dinner
>all the furniture's on his driveway
>he's absolutely fucking hammered
>all he wants to do is talk about love

>>12898507
imagine being a faggot who has nothing to add but replies to all le epic references because he can't find le upboat button

https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/bahkt7/anon_experiences_foreshadowing/

Buenos dias reddit!

>>12899854
>go to anon's house for potluck
>everyone brings something but this anon
>this anon just sits in the corner and calls everyone a faggot
>refuses to contribute
>criticizes everyone else's cooking
>no one wants him around

>>12899905
>says the guy who replied to all the posts he liked with a comment that was basically "hella fuckin epic"
you don't have a leg to stand on, cuck

>>12899905
>le redditor tries to fit in with le epin meme arrows
cringing at you senpai.

>go round to Guenon's house for dinner
>it's Ramadan

>>12895401
>go to Burroughs' house to shoot up
>a gun buyer comes

>Get invited to Liu Cixin's place
>20 hour elevator ride

>go to Flannery O'Connor's for dinner
>she is wearing a fresh dress and sunhat indoors so that if she were to die in her home, first responders would know that she was a lady

>>12899877
hi rddit!!!! give me gold please :)

>>12899451
>go to whitman's for a breakfast picnic
>some faggot kid asks me what grass is
how am I supposed to answer that?

>>12896412
kek

>>12898090
kek

>>12898537
lol

>go to Steinbeck’s house for dinner
>he asks me to look at his rabbits

>>12899877
>top comment is just awkwardly butchering the joke so even a toddler can comprehend it

based reddit

>go to Plato's oikos for dinner
>offers free meals for life at the Prytaneum

>>12899190
based

>>12895401
Sneak into Stevens's backyard, and try the door.
Unlocked, and there is actually a pineapple on the table.

>>12896856
Perfect

>>12898588
Very nice

>go to Sylvia Plath's house for dinner
>she doesn't come out of the kitchen the whole time

>>12897904
>go to john green's house for dinner
>'bacon and eggs? for dinner, john?'
>he stares at me

>go to Bunuel's house for dinner
>still there several days later

>go to Brautigan's for dinner
>the rainbow trout on my plate speaks in lyrical memories

>>12896432
> Go to Zizek's house for dinner
> For dessert I ask for coffee with cream
> Says there's no cream
> Then asks me whether I'll have coffee without milk instead

>>12900709
>actually, he doesn't have any coffee

>go to Thoreau's cabin for dinner
>I set it on the table and leave

>go to Evola's house for dinner
>he tells me to do 50 push ups and make the dinner for him because he can't get out of the wheel chair

>>12900712
> (Sniff) but itsh's not that that, but ish alsho the fact that there ish (shneef) a vishible emptinesh in the middle of the meal, wheesh eez filled with ideoloshee (snaff)

>come to cormac's for supper
>meets me at the door with a cup of dried beans and tells me to ride on

>go to Mao Zedong's house and get caught up in a revolution
>mfw I expected a dinner party

noface.jpg

>Dine out with Lovecraft
>The menu is incomprehensible

>go to Baudrillard's house for dinner
>dinner never really happened

>>12898374
>Catgirl Misaki the Vampire Hunter
When was this? Have been away from /lit/ for a while

>go to Diderot's for breakfast
>every time I take a bite he says it was destined to happen
>he suddenly pulls out a bottle of liquor from his pocket and drinks it in a gulp
>asks me if I have seen his horse
>get up to leave
>"you were destined to do this all along"
>shoots his wife

>go to Salman Rushdie's house for lunch
>pretty sure I see the curtains move when I knock, but there's no answer

>>12896058
good post

>>12896228
>go to Herman Melville's house for dinner
>in advance inform him that I'm pescetarian
>he serves whale

>>12900730
kek

>go on a trip with hemingway
>he rides shotgun

>go to hawthorne's house for dinner
>food makes me young again, then I get old, he smirks the whole time

>go to Jünger's house for dinner
>gives me LSD and tries to kill me with a shovel

>go to Stirner's for dinner
>he eats it all himself

>go to Jesus's for dinner
>he states inane things about the character of various dinner guests
>Peter and Judas are looking uncomfortable

>>12896509
i get it

>go to Hedayat's for dinner
>his pet parrot keeps staring at me
>at the end he asks me to cuck him

>receive what looks like an invitation to dine from Kaczynski

>>12899905
>go to potluck
>walk round the table exclaiming ‘hot ziggety, this is great!’ at every dish while people are trying to eat
>get told to fuck off
>cry

>>12900833
>>/lit/thread/S12342891
Enjoy

>>12900730
pretty good

>go to a party at Socrates’
>walks up to me and says: ‘Ah Cebes!’ (Not my name) ‘I do not think that anyone who heard me now, not even a comic poet, could say that I am babbling and discussing things that do not concern me, so we must examine the question thoroughly, if you think we should do so. Let us examine it in some such a manner as this: whether the souls of men who have died exist in the underworld or not. We recall an ancient theory that souls arriving there come from here, and then again that they arrive here and are born here from the dead. If that is true, that the living come back from the dead, then surely our souls must exist there, for they could not come back if they did not exist, and this is a sufficient proof that these things are so if it truly appears that the living never come from any other source than from the dead, if this is not the case we should need another argument.
>look at him incredulously and mutter something about how we ‘yeah, probably need another argument there buddy’
>Plato spends the rest of the night writing me into a fake dialogue where I look unfairly stupid, and he keeps looking up and laughing at me whenever I stand near him
>this is the fifth time it’s happened

>>12896432

>go to kafka's house for dinner
>"Excuse me if you plan to be be eating that you need to sign these papers, once you've finished signing you must wait for the chief-paper-reviewer to arrive in exactly four hours, and furthermore..."

>>12900978
Well, I know how you voted at his trial

>go to Kafka's house for dinner
>he greets me at the door
>Anon, you must wait until I have prepared the... BREAKFAST
>he cackles at his own statement and slams the door shut in my face
>I'm still here

>Invite Diogenes to my dinner party
>Spent hours cleaning everything and trying not to look like a slob
>He takes one look at my home and spits on my fucking face
Never meet your heroes

>>12900978
>’Ah Cebes!’ (Not my name)

Kek

>go to Caesar's house for dinner
>only serves corn

>go to Mao's house for dinner
>leave with 17 chinese women

>>12896856
kek2

>>12897904
extreme kek

>>12896228
>graphic t and cargo pants

>Go to Peterson's for dinner
>its just a hierarchy of raw meats stacked neatly onto a plate

>go to marx's for dinner
>bring the dinner plate home with me

>Go to Bataille's house
>Get served champaign
>it has no bubbles

>Go to Nietzsche house
>''Anon what do you think of free will ?''
>"Well... I think that e- >*HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK*
>"OH MEPHISTO WHAT A DULL STATEMENT"
>Pulls out a hammer
>"I AM DYNAMITE"
>Breaks everything in the house
>Go outside
>Call some guy an aborted foetus
>Stops a barouche
>Hug the horse, faint and shit himself

What the fuck

>>12901112
>daughter serves dinner wearing a bikini

>go to kafka’s house for dinner
>his father’s there

>>12901012
>go to Mao's house for dinner
>have to bring my own fork and spoon

>>12901161
>my own
not anymore

>go to Günther Grass' house for dinner
>10.000 year old fish
>he asks me to wank him off

>>12900264
Good one

>>12898105
>They serve pork with human features

>>12900996
Damn what s throwback lit meme. Zoomers will never understand

>>12899407
This

>>12899407
>stuffing a 900 page book in a fucking backpack so they can spend 10 minutes hoping an art hoe will notice them between class

Damn

>>12901507
it's in every read/expected/got thread

>>12899504
Underrated

>>12901542
easiest samefag since tao lin

>go to Mark Z. Danielewski’s HOUSE
>pleasant dinner until he gets too drunk and opens the door to the inside of the HAUS
>wtf
>freak out in the bathroom for a little bit, then leave

>>12901112
have you seen his barbecue fire place? this would be actually great

>Go to De Sade's for dinner
>Its turds and cunny again

>Go to Borges for Dinner
>Its just a ham he keeps slicing infinitesimally thin pieces from

>>12897739
Subtle.

>>12898507
Imagine being so much of an attention-starved faggot to reply to 1000 posts with "le ebik upvoyted xDDD"

>>12898831
>go to killgore trout's abode for a dinner
>its inside of a ruined slaughterhouse

>>12899905
>go for potluck
>take a round walking around the table, tapping everyone on the shoulder
>whisper in everyone's ear
>"ok, now this is epic"
>get called a faggot by multiple people
>argue

At least you got some replies, I guess

>Go to Diogenes barrel for dinner
>He jacks off into my food

>>12901112
>not a plate full of lobster

Come on

>meet flann o’brien at the pub
>after a pint or four he takes a napkin and scrawls at it for a good time
>he passes it to me
>i just wrote this hehe
>then he winks

>Go to Apu's house for dinner
>He's served himself
>eat me fren, I taste good

>>12899905
leave, faggit

>>12901810
based

>>12896512

Underrated post

saving this thread from death

>>12902341
>4 posts and not a single you

it’s dying anyway anon post limit