/lit/ - Literature

>>12863538
Well, since I just did my monthly check on Bloom to see if he's still alive

I dunno, I feel fine, I guess, but I have serious doubts about my abilities as a writer.

>>12863538
I just remembered that I was supposed to be doing Camp Nano this month and completely forgot to prepare. Could be worse, otherwise.

Struggling day to day with my innumerable variable perversions and lusts dragging my mind and soul in to the boggy mire

pic related, it's my mind

>20 yo
>thought I'd always stay a newfag
>probably the oldest guy in this thread

>>12863538
about as well as his skin on his face

Not good. Being torn between doing random things for randomness or waiting for an inspiration in order to find meaning in life.

great<div class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" width="160" height="160" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/partyhat.gif"></div>

>>12863538
not too bad. been drowning myself in hopeless fantasies this weekend. it might just become what I do over the weekends, but I hope not because it felt real shitty going to work this morning. not shitty in a I-hate-my-job kind of way. it felt shitty because the hopelessness of my dreams kicked in hard.

Does anybody here have anything to be happy about?

>>12863774
lots of good books<div style="position:absolute" class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" style="position:absolute;margin-left:-25px;margin-top:-80px;pointer-events:none;" width="80" height="80" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/partyhat.gif"></div>

>>12863774
I'm getting paid to sit and read books all day. Unfortunately it's minimum wage, but I don't really have many expenses. No gf, and currently no friends. Happy about the book situation, though, and at least I'm making money. There's a guy who works on the same street as me, and he seems to read a lot too, though not the kind of stuff I do. We have been having a lot of interesting conversations, which is fun. I guess we're friends? I don't even know his name to be honest.

>>12863786
security guard?

>>12863815
yep

>>12863640
waaaah waaaah im 20 aaaaaa

i wish i was 20 you stupid fucking bitch

>>12863538
At 43 years old I'd say I'm in pretty good shape.

>>12863640
im 28, ive been on /lit/ since 2010. here's one of the first threads i made in 2011. i dont know if it's hilarious or if it's cringe:
>>/lit/thread/S1465160

>>12863538
terrible. I can see the early signs of psychosis caused by all the reading I've been doing. I alienated myself and can relate to nobody I know irl. It has ruined my relationships with my family. I won't stop reading because of an inferiority complex

>>12863774
All is grace.

I'm sad, but that's because I don't have enough likes

>>12863856
If you take what you read seriously I believe reading can be very dangerous

>>12863856
>can see the early signs of psychosis caused by all the reading I've been doing
How can i achieve this?

>>12863538<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x1F603;</div>

>>12863774
Books and visions of myself dying horribly and suddenly. Might sound morbid to some, but I sigh in relief whenever I have one of these. Reminds me to stop taking things too seriously.

>>12863584
this

>>12863856
bruh

Doin pretty bad mang<div class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" width="60" height="60" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/ba.gif"></div>

so what is the "score" based on? no way it's the number of likes, i didn't get this many

>>12863944
click 'perks' and it gives you a quick rundown
how did you miss it? are you retarded?

>>12863944
Amount of activity, essentially.<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x1F430;</div>

>>12863774
My grandpa's parting gift to me was insuring I would only have to go to work two days this week, meaning I not only dodged helping out with an elementary school dance, but also a shitty fund raiser that all staff would have been required to work at on Friday.

Pretty good as far as finances and work but in the middle of a pretty chaotic relationship which is draining me. I love her but she's totally poisonous and all my friends have repeatedly told me so.

>>12863953
>how did you miss it?
i don't read<div class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" width="160" height="160" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/xmashat.gif"></div>

>>12863538
I really need to get money.

>>12863538
i need to write more, but i hate everything i put to paper. just end up scrapping it and move onto something else. i have tens of thousands of first paragraphs that ill never do anything with

>>12863538
not good, stuck at dino and need to get skeleton :(<div class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" width="451" height="75" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/temp/dinosaur.gif"></div>

>>12863538
extremely poorly

is there a reason that I should keep going through this hell?

It's pretty bad, man. All of my hopes and dreams have been shattered and I must give up on them. I'll end up becoming an extremely sad and depressed lawyer, looking like an old man by age 40.

>>12864033
You couldn't use the sad emoji?<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x1F641;</div>

>>12864193
You have food, you have websites, you are fine. You can read and write.

>>12864211
wanted to flex
now like my posts<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x1F4AF;</div>

>>12863774
My nephew learned how to say my name, so that’s pretty cool.

>>12864193
Because you don't know what tomorrow or next year is going to look like. Even if you lived a shit tier life from ages 1-45, it would all be supremely rewarding and meaningful beyond your wildest imagination if at 46 it were all to be okay

>>12863538
Not too good my dude, not too good. Everything I was told about declining mental health during grad school is true, but its too late to stop it, so I just drown myself even deeper in my work.

>>12863538
About as well as that step he's sitting on. I wish I could give way.

>>12863774
I am recognizing small bits of progress in my writing ability, and it's come about from sheer writing, over and over, on various topics. The cliche that the best thing to do to be a writer is to write is true. And so is the second best thing: to read. I'm on my ninth book of the year now.

>About to graduate
>Passion for my field is gone
>Applied to grad schools, turned in half the apps late out of some kinda self-sabotage
>Need to apply to more jobs, haven't heard back from any
>Friend since childhood hanged himself in November and things have felt off ever since
>Sleep poorly, feel like I avoid it but don't know why
>Wake up apathetic and lethargic
>Can only motivate myself to exercise and read, completely ignoring classes, may end up failing and needing to take another semester
I used to be so happy

>>12863538
Not great desu. Work is draining and I don't even get a break when I come home. I've spent so much time studying for my next actuarial exam. I have a chance to have a good career. But I'd trade it all just to be a NEET again and read all day. Couple this with the fact I'm alone. Well, that's probably the main issue. Can't even get girls to respond on dating apps, which is likely my fault. Yet another nail in my coffin.

>>12863856
What are you reading

become christian<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x274C;</div>

I'm pretty zoned out and alienated from everything most the time classes are going swimmingly at least but I can't tell if the courses are easy or if I'm putting in bare minimal effort. I came from a community college of which I BTFO'd everyone else grade wise so there's that at least. I need some fun in my life, I want to hurt something. Stolen food tastes so much better than food that's bought from a place, you know? I don't know why that is? I've been staring at a 30 page paper on the problem of evil I need to read and write a summary about by Thursday along with another 14 pager. It'll finish itself like it always does I suppose. I think my family loves me still thankfully but I don't love them. I think if the newspaper told them I was unlovable they would believe that over me. I don't mention anything I read in my time to them, they would be terrified.

Bad. I have been trying to ignore the fact that I am stupid for a really long time, but I have been forced to admit its truth after going to college. I have nothing left, as my social life and religion have already failed. I've basically been self-destructing, taking as much DPH as I can without going crazy. I started reading norweigan wood tho, so thats cool.

>>12863849
You claimed to be a 12 year old

>>12864386
Once you get rid of the need to be smart or anything at all you're free to live for the sake of living.

>>12864399
How would you suggest I do that. Meditation?

we'll see

>>12863944
you are popular!!! You fucking retard!!!!!

>>12864206
this, but replace lawyer with bridge jumping statistic

I'd fucking do myself in right now if it weren't for the fear of giving my ex the satisfaction of thinking I'm doing it for her. I'll never stroke that frigid bitch's ego again in my life, and if it means bearing with this abominable existence for a while longer until the timing is right then so be it.

Only two perks out of my reach now<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x1F438;</div>

>>12863774
I made it through the day and I was able to get some writing done, so I feel pretty good about that. I had a severe case of mental paralysis for a while now. The desire to write was there but the thoughts just wouldn't congeal. I think it's partially because I've been doing a bunch of research lately so most of the stuff I've been reading doesn't make my brain sing.

I'm happy that the beer I'm drinking doesn't taste like shit and I'm happy that I'll be sleeping in a comfy bed once I've finished this beer.

>>12864296
>only nine
I'm kidding, of course.

>>12863894
Reading too much philosophy at once will usually do the trick. See >>12863392

testo

>>12864206
Fuck, I'm a 2L and I feel you, bro. This shit is soul crushing as fuck.

been seeing this girl and I think we're going to have sex any day now and I have only had sex a handful of times and I'm afraid she's not going to like me cus I won't know what I'm doing.

I also don't have a dick to write home about but my main concern is she's going to think I'm a loser that can't please her and leave me.

I'm in my late 20s, I feel like I should know how to have sex by now.

I want school to be over

>>12864395
huh?

>>12865293
Take peepee pill

better if I made skeleton<div class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" width="451" height="75" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/temp/dinosaur.gif"></div>

>>12863584
this is like a francis bacon sketch

>>12863538
starting to care less, a small part of me is worried about eventually not being able to care at all or not as much as i used to, but I'm apathetic towards that part. for the first time in my life i feel a part of me disagreeing with who i am

>>12863969
kek thats ruff

I keep waking up with bruises and bloody knuckles. I think I am assaulting homeless people and I don't know why but I can't stop.

books for this feel?

ive stoped masturbating and drinking and am not entirely sure why or how ive managed this

>>12863774
Eh I'm not happy, but things could be worse. That cheers me up a little.

>>12863856
This is your mind on reading.

I'm about to graduate college and have no idea what to do next

Holding up well. Got pic related in the mail today.<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x1F438;</div>

>>12865464
Nice drawing anon, I love OCTs. How's your Greek?

>>12865474
My Greek's all right. I've been working hard. I love the OCTs as well, but I wish OUP did higher quality bindings. They're bound like the Biggles books I read growing up...

Doing great

Don’t do this >>12864370 You won’t feel great about anything

i swear these threads always get deleted after i post

im barely hanging in there lads. im sick of working in an office. i sit there for 8-9 hours a day and im exhausted. im sick of organizing and optimizing and researching and doing paperwork for other people.

i wanna build stone fences or something like that

im sick of this life! i have no time, no friends, no money and ive been nowhere and done nothing

my greatest adventure was living in another province for 2 years before going to uni and getting a shit do-nothing degree

>>12865555
>digits
>reddit spacing
urk, jannies please cleanse this filth

>>12865412
Willpower. Congrats.
Age will wear down your interest in masturbation regardless.
Substance abuse rewires your brain. Stay sober, man

>>12865555
That sounds tough, anon. Working such long hours is very hard. I hope things improve.
>>12865565
come here and suck my dick newfag, I'll fuck you til you love me you faggot

>>12865555
Let us go forth and destroy capitalism together!

>>12865565
>reddit spacing

im just typing lad. and it doesn't look like reddit spacing when im typing in the replybox

>>12865524
Nice! I'm starting Greek next semester, which I'm excited about. I've done the barest bit of self-study on my own, but it was hard going without a teacher or organized curriculum.
And I hear you on the binding, it's a real shame. I prefer the look of the older ones that were more in line with other OUP editions, but those suffer from the same issue.

>>12865584
thanks friend

>>12865592
i just wish shit wasn't so futile and unsatisfying

I just don't know anymore.

>>12863774
My wife is pregnant with our first child and I finished reading a book today. A bit nervous about starting a new job in a couple weeks but overall life is good.

>>12865651
what book

>>12865651
Good job, anon. I don't care what race or religion you are. You are fulfilling your duty as a man.

>>12865660
The Secret History, I wanted an easy and fun read. It was pretty enjoyable.

>>12865651
>our first child
>our

>>12865680
nice, here's a tartt for you.<div class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" width="32" height="32" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/pckl.png"></div>

>>12865673
Thanks, I really had to raise myself up to being a man and I can honestly say this site actually helped me.

>>12865691
She’s the best.

>>12864313
If anything happens try to find a way to withdraw for the semester using your friend's death as the reason why you've failed. I had a friend claim depression when he failed and it worked for him.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

MUI CALIENDE coinflip

>>12865613
Same.

I say "doing great", but I could be better. Work is a debtors prison that takes the majority of your life away.
I want out

>>12864033
>tfw no dino<div class="like-perk-cnt">&#x1F641;</div>

>>12865757
Funnily enough I had to do that last spring. I'd stopped going to classes for a few weeks, eventually stopped leaving my apartment or even eating for days at a time. Some anonymous friend reported to the school that they thought I was going to kill myself, and they brought me in to talk to the Dean of Students and I admitted that I probably was. They made me withdraw and go to a therapist before I could come back. It didn't really help.
My parents seemed confused about how to feel for a while and I think on some level assumed I was just being a little bitch, but then Carter hanged himself and I think they couldn't stop picturing the same happening to me.

>>12865820
Much better now thanks!

>>12865820<div class="like-perk-cnt"><img alt="" width="451" height="75" src="//s.4cdn.org/image/temp/dinosaur.gif"></div>

>>12863774
I am not happy but not sad either. Just numb and bored. Might jump out when I get drunk enough next time or wait a bit longer and see what happens. Not gonna last much longer though. My alcoholism is taking its toll recently.

>>12865555
Add drinking a whisky bottle every 2 days and smoking a pack of cigarettes everyday while drinking 8 cups of coffee because I only sleep 4 hours per night and using weed to calm down in the weekend to that equation and thats me all right. I regret the fact that I went for an office job every single day but now that I have my own appartment I cannot quit otherwise I will not be able to pay my rent.

well im allright iguess cant feel shit but at least i have my memories to lagh @ tratoirs

so lovesick I got physically sick for weeks

>>12865555
I'm sorry to hear this anon, but on the bright side look at your fucking quads. That can only be a sign that things are about to start looking up for you.