/lit/ - Literature

>John Green is actually the Self-Taught Man from Nausea
the pedophilia makes sense now

>>12614570
Funny, I'm the opposite

>>12614570
Translation

“I’m an overly empathetic man child that is capable of feeling negative emotion over things that literally do not exist to me”

I saw this quote on a girl's Instagram once. Is this supposed to be deep or something?

excuse me mr.green but you stole that quote

>>12614570
The more I love humanity in general the less I love man in particular. In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually face crucifixion if it were suddenly necessary. Yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together. I know from experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs me and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose. I become hostile to people the moment they come close to me. But it has always happened that the more I hate men individually the more I love humanity.
t.Ivan

>>12614589
So why didn't You write My Strudel?

>>12614570
By the same logic, does that mean he hates everywhere he's familiar with and despises his closest family and friends?

I had no idea Green was so based and redpilled

>>12614570
What sort of crucible would John Greene need to endure and survive to become a man at this point? Any culture or tradition hosting the transitional rites into manhood would almost certainly incorporate elements of penance for supplicant Greene, a fraction of the payments incurred by his wastrel's frittering of youth and masculinity. The hosting culture's cohorts of males in their mid to late adolescence are inbound to their own rites in the near future and would see in John Greene a test for their whole culture: could they fix this man? Or alternatively, if failing to push John Greene into a new form, that of a complete human man recognizable in all our eras, would their host culture go on the record and notably reject him and sort him into a sub-male role such as eunuch chamber attendant or musician? Any shaman or stewards of the rites would be obliged to spare no scale or detail for their special guest or else invite rumors of waning prestige and power. John Greene would be no doubt stunned to behold the arrangements: city-block lengths of gauntlets, each side a queue of scowling males vividly festooned in grandiose pageantry, all manner of clubs, sticks, cudgels and femurs gripped low at their sides.

>>12614823
Ivan in the street but Dmitry in the sheets, that's what I am

Someone post the rape pasta.

>>12615256
I love you for this.

>>12614570
>"I'm in love with cities I've never been to and people I've never met"
the psychological profile of your average democrat
"anywhere but here, any people but these," classic oikophobia.

>>12614583
topkek

>>12614570
That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

>>12615293
I think I'm going to have non-consensual sex with John Green.

Yes, in fact right this moment I have resolved to rape this man. All of my faculties and resources are now going to be put into achieving this end. The way this man controls the contortions of his face elicits a deep, ape-ish urge within me to do extremely violent and sexual damage to him.

If you think about it, how is John Green different from a woman? They are equally timid. Equally frivolous. Equally acquiescent. Equally narcissistic. Equally upset by a combination of words or ideas that do not conform to the status-quo. And no doubt Mr. Green has sucked a penis too--maybe just a silicon one (for now), but nevertheless he has tried it; has been struck with the same sort of 'oh-i'm-so-so-naughty' inclination that seizes all women at some point in their life and with the frenzied tom-tom of feminine sexuality blaring in their head which is only ever empty and only ever filled when the image or implication of a Penis can be grasped in external reality, and just like such a woman has John Green greedily taken hold of the dildo that he secretly keeps in his top drawer (why disguise it further? why, wouldn't he be happy if someone were to discover his little perversion? oh think of how oh so so naughty that would be!) and after taking the full 7.5" of rubber down his throat he is filled with such a thrill such that no expression of his "masculine" sexuality has ever come close to attaining.

Hmm, indeed, the lines between Woman and John Green continue to blur, and my dick continues to rise. Raping him could be ethically and epistemologically justified, both through Utilitarian ethics and Platonic Teleology, but I will not go into that here. Suffice to say that raping John Green would be a net benefit for the world as such, as material entity and conceptual ideal. It would be a rape that would satisfy so many hearts, so many minds, and most importantly my own penis.

I am decided: John Green will be raped within the month. I will devote myself to finding out his residency, his routines, and I will plot and plan my moment of violation meticulously. This is a very real goal I have set, and I shall know neither rest nor mortal satisfaction until it has been attained.

is the quote Pessoa?

>>12614823
You sound like you have borderline personality disorder.

>>12614570

It’s clear to me that if this quote were by, say, Hemingway or Dostoevsky, it would be received either with praise or ambivalence. Yet, because it comes from JG, anon reacts with aimless, uncritical anger fuled either by jealousy or resentment.
If this was a quote by Dylan or some emo band, anon would swell in emotion while crying.
If anon were honest with himself, he would accept that there lacks context to judge this quote in and of itself. Yet anon supplies a context in order to reject it. JG could write In Search of Lost Time and anon would still deride it.
This is not a defense of JG, but a critical take of this thread.

Are these posts not schockingly emotive for such an inoffensive statement as the quote above?
>>12614589
>>12614964
>>12615033

>>12616700
w-what im like that

Why is that borderline

>>12614570
This quote was kino until I saw who said it. Appeals to my inner pseud.

>>12614823
God took Dosto too soon.

>>12614570
I liked those little history videos honestly

>>12616593
>Hmm, indeed, the lines between Woman and John Green continue to blur, and my dick continues to rise. Raping him could be ethically and epistemologically justified, both through Utilitarian ethics and Platonic Teleology, but I will not go into that here. Suffice to say that raping John Green would be a net benefit for the world as such, as material entity and conceptual ideal.

I laughed out loud

>>12616892
well actually we know the context, because John Green's works and his online presence is pretty universally known. he's onionsboy culture personified

>>12614570
"I was drizzle and she was a hurricane" - le cheerios man

>>12616700
No, he sounds like he's quoting a character from The Brothers Karamazov

>>12614578
Been a while since i read it, but weren't the kids into it?

>>12616700
I'm like that but I have bipolar

>>12616892
This may come as a surprise to an absolute brainlet like you, but context matters. John Green is a fucking faggot and a hack. He is a pussy and this comment highlights it and its hilarious. The rest of your post is floundering conjecture not even worth addressing.

You are trying to defend the man. Its ok. Your biases are revealed in your terrible analysis. Or maybe you really are just a brainlet?

>>12616892
>context doesn't matter at all
It is clear the me that this anon is a fucking retard.

>>12617690
Pretty sure that is a female, not an anon. The idiocy, defense of her favourite tween author, and awkward pseud writing style gives it away.

>>12614570
That's a brilliant quote, and once again Based John Green reveals who the pseuds are here. That quote captures a modern archetype of person perfectly, and anyone here who could've written that deserves praise. Just like the "My thoughts are stars..." line, pseud-repellent Greene keeps blowing out the phonies on here and reminding us that he really can do it all - write, teach, travel, have his books made into feature films, and whatever else the man juggles. He should be an aspiration to all of you on here.

>>12614570
Why does his posture in the pic bothers me so much?

>>12617776
4/10.

>>12616892
You fail to acknowledge my sick burn directed at JG, and in that my post was annointed by favorable numerology, the onus is on you, Thread Critic, to disambiguate your rectum from your rhetoric's braap barn or else invite unspeakable, ghastly happenings to the very threshold of your shed.

>>12614570
It's a nice sentiment but it's almost cliched by now. I came up with the same thing when I was teen and thought I was a genius for it.

>>12614591
Lol. Met a girl at a bar last night who friended me on Instagram afterward and this was her bio quote on there. Didn't know it was Green until seeing this thread just now.

>>12616593
This gave me a drunk hard on

Faggy writer, even faggier historian.
Fuck John Green.

>>12616593
I love this pasta

>>12616892
>OP tries to set up a thread to show how above it all he is
>gets BTFO
Hahaha you dumb cunt

>>12614823
I have gone into a week-long depression when I thought about the fact that Dosto was going to write a sequel to the Brothers k if he hadn’t died

>>12614570

Add: "and I shill authors I've never read." and you have the average /lit/poster

>>12614570
>I sometimes do things like getting into a cab and telling the driver "to the library and step on it!" because I'm hoping to die in a car crash and take some people with me.

>>12616593
thanks faggot, this post made me straight

>>12615941
Calm down, it was said by some teen girl on tumblr to describe her affection for her internet friends.

>>12617776
JOHN GREEN
PSEUDO MAN

>>12614570
Childkiller.

its not that bad of a quote and I wouldnt mind having more of that attitude. john green routinely says dumber shit.

Soccer mom and late millenial tripe. Basically a gayer version of I HAVENT BEEN EVERYWHERE BUTS ITS ON MY LIST HEHE

>>12614570
serial killer

>>12617561
Are they not with John as well?

>>12616700
whats that

>>12614570
John Green's Crash Course is shit

>>12616892
>all these replies proving you right
lmao /lit/ is the most insecure board

>>12616892
Whats wrong with hating John because I'm an insecure pseud?

>>12615033
>a sub-male role such as eunuch chamber attendant or musician
>implying enuch and musicians are not the superior roles

>>12614823
It's funny how this passage examplify both Dosto's main objection to the left idealists of his time (namely that they have embraced abstractions and universals but lost sight of the fellow man sitting next to them) and his own recognition that it is fundamentally hard, or perhaps even impossible, for any man honest with himself, to not have contempt for his fellow man.

In the same vein one can think of Stendhal's observation that he loved the people and cared very much about its right and freedom, but could never bring himself to share company with most of the common men of his country.

>>12614570
Great writer. His novel made me feel better after I lost a few weeks to shitty classics like Pedro Paramo.

>>12616921
borderline haver here. it's really dead on. it's called "splitting." look it up

>>12614583
Underrated post

>>12617243
>>12617667
>>12617690
>>12617733
>>12617791
>>12618299
And here he is, anon, ranging against the void. Resentiment swelling in every fiber of his being, the success of others inspiring ugly envy in his heart.

JG is not your enemy, anon. You owe it to no one to scream obscenities to me. I know you are better than this, that you are capable of realizing that your actions are uncritical and unhealthy.

>>12619750
I imagine JG bleating something like this even while the crane's winch is turning and lifting the coil of cable ominously behind John, whose now darting his eyes away from the grinning deplorable precariots who dragged him from the West Elm ratan futon and Nintendo devices in his tiny house and exfiltrated him to these uproarious festivities, where he was aghast and forelorn into a pallid terror to then witness the rapid succession of hoisting until deceased and eerily quiet but for darkening pants and guttural rattles the necks of several television talk show hosts, internet celebrities, professional athletesb and bespectacled intellectuals adamant there's been a mistake and they were on the crowd's side, which always drew spirited howls of derision and morbid chanting to get on with things. Worse yet, right before John, a sad, crumpled and filthy group of a dozen journalists were suddenly sprung aloft from beneath an ascending steel beam, briefly reanimated from their concussed and battered dazes into clutching at the ropes encircling their blood and dirt streaked necks, furiously kicking their shoes off as they ascended gracefully from the ground into the late morning's sunlit wind. The large steel beam upon which their ropes were tied was the original quarry of the heavy crane so parked and bolted with large stabilizers to the ornate patterned pavers of the town square whenever it was not delivering turncoats to justice. But it had been busy since Midnight, John overheard from two men discussing the paucity of rope while admiring the fidgeting, expiring journalists above them.

>>12615033
>>12616593
>>12617776
>>12619750
>>12620168
I wonder if Mr. Green knows he takes up most of the conversation and intellectual-thought of bookish men on an image board that primarily revolves around the topic of anime.

>>12614570
He's not a pornographer, you know?

>>12614570
fuck you /lit/. if pinecon or some shit like that were to say those words you'd be 'OMG XDDDD HE'S JUST LIKE ME AMIRITE HE'S /OURGUY/ FO'SURE OMG XDD

>>12616593

>>12620454
He doesn't, he's busy with a successful and manyfaceted career the likes of which literally nobody on this board will ever taste in their lifetime.

>>12620168
How do I get a vocabulary like you, senpai?

>>12620474
>that lighting
>that pose
You sure?

>>12620482
what is your favorite passage from the fault in our stars?

>>12620168
well done anon, this is actually really well written, the humour is black and cutting.

>>12617777
it looks like the profile pic of some instagram whore. Also checkèd them quads

>>12620454
John Greene can literally pay in perpetuity for a 19 year old domme to dress up in clown make-up and candy-raver attire and peg him to wakefulness in the early morning while reading the AP and PBR newswires to him without missing a beat in thrusting or enunciation, before another hired whore makes him coffee, rolls him a blunt in flower petals and a banana leave filter they fold in the nude before presenting it to John, and depending on the mood of the morning, either beginning some spirited tribadation and vulva frottage in the gazebo or heading to the solarium to wrestle eachother for John's quiet espresso-sipping amusement.

>>12620614
hehe do you think they would allow him to cum