/lit/ - Literature

People who read with their heads hunched over are NPCs. I realized it was a problem when I was just a kid. Imagine going through life holding books the conventional way like a retard.

>>12586350
imagine reading a book

how embaraasing

I wish I had the energy to read books faster (not your average fiction novel but stuff like The Histories and The Odyssey) so that I can get on to the next book and learn more.

>>12586331
The rest on the powerline. One has hunger and flies away to search for food and other sparrows see and go along with him. They fly around in groups following the one sparrow with an appetite great enough to act and not follow. Sparrows are locked to a certain set of actions and spend most of their time either resting and chirping or searching for nutrition. They chase each other sometimes in groups of two or three, their power over the other is in the beak and in chasing the other and using his energy. Sparrows are eaten by larger birds and cats but are fast.

Dear Mr. Stafford

"This all could have been avoided..." is what you're probably thinking to yourself. You have failed in your own exploits, and now as you're laying around depressed and in defeat, you wonder if you can even call them your own. So why did you do it? What prompted you to take the plunge? You've been mulling over it for as long as you can remember --- thinking "If only I could accomplish what I've set out for!" You longed for the opportunity, and then when you had it, you fucked up. I guess it isn't so bad, is it? There are hundreds of millions who will take your place in the struggle. But this thought doesn't occur to you, because your endeavors were never that kind of selfless, ideal pursuit to begin with. Think of it this way, even if your big moment's gone and there's nothing left you can do to change your fate, it was either this graceless failure or gracelessly expiring in your comfortable little hole. Neither are anything to be proud of, but I'm sure each has its merits. Or maybe not. But you'll never know, anyway. You should contemplate the best course of action for your next attempt, as morbid as that seems.

Your friend,
Eugene

>>12586446
listen to audiobooks alongside actual books

>>12586331
this guy is a retard

>>12586553
>t. seething aristotlean

look at that thread about burning man on hn, all these fucking rich ass bay area venture capitalists and tech bros are lamenting that burning man is too mainstream and accessible, idk what burning man was really supposed to be about, but its a place to network for fundraising for your startup that sounds super lame, like i want to travel to the top of some mountain just to be surrounded by rich guys from stanford. probably burning man is owned and operated by some big bay area fund like sequoia or andreesen-horowitz and that whole thing is just an ad, either way fuck burning man, and fuck tech bros

>>12586565
It used to be this really weird, grassroots pagan/earth worship kind of thing. But of course once capitalism got a hold of it it was ruined.

>>12586565
can you link this thread, idk waht hn is?

>>12586575
actually i'm skimming the wiki to try to find out which vc dickhead got their hooks into it, but it appears it actually started as a for-profit and then only in the last few years transitioned to non-profit status, which is unexpected considering the increase in marketing propaganda around it in recent years, still not sure why rich tech assholes have decided to appropriate it

>>12586579
try putting "hn" in to google my dude

>>12586575
You make it sound like it wasn't populated with assholes from the beginning. They just changed faces.

>>12586633
the only person i know who ever went to it (maybe because im on the east coast) is some personal trainer muscle head who was going to give fitness classes to old boomer moms in the desert from what i could gather, didnt sound that cool really but he was gettin paid

I wish I were more interesting. I wish I had done more with my life.

If I ever have children I will try to give them all the opportunities I never had. But then I would be afraid of living through them.

>>12586810
>implying anyone would ever impregnate a cat lady

>>12586331
Just got the results for my history dissertation and one of the markers said that I put too much metaphysics in it.

I still love her and I know it's no longer mutual.

>>12586821
I'm a cat boy uWu

>>12587319
uwu

I like to go to /pol/ every so often because I find them somewhat amusing and also because they usually find out about breaking news before any other board on 4chan and often before most of the rest of the internet. So they have a certain amount of utility.

But every time I spend more than fifteen minutes on there I feel like my fucking brain is rotting. /pol/ takes the idea of "trolls trolling trolls" into overdrive and adds shills, psyops, and probably just plain old morons to the mix. Being on /pol/ for a certain amount of time is almost a psychedelic experience, I feel like I need to detox every time I finally pull myself away.

God is real, but I'm not sure what that means for me. I'm too bound in the material

>>12586331
I spent eighty jillion dollars on a master's degree and I still can't get a decent job in my field. Whoops.

>>12587509
I spent no money and I can't find a job anywhere either, so don't worry.

>>12586331
>Write what's on Your Mind
what is mind? does it matter? what is matter? never mind.
what is write? is it wrong? what is wrong? never type.

>>12587573
That's kind of my point. At very least I could have taken the money I saved up for grad school and spent it on traveling around the mysterious Orient or something.

Of course, rationally, I also know that if I didn't have a master's, I'd probably still be beating myself up for not having a master's.

I feel like the fact that I'm completely apathetic of almost everything inhibits my ability to write poetry or fiction. The only emotions I seem to feel are anger and anxiety, and usually I'm too preoccupied feeling those to be able to write anything.

I wrote this for that comfy thread that died

>Reaching the summit of a grade as the fireman on a mainline steam locomotive hauling night freight and finally getting to the lay down the shovel and have a cup of tea while the engine slowly picks up speed as it begins to slip into the sleepy valley below, the lights of farmhouses glinting off cow ponds between stands of trees bent by the north country wind. The cab of the locomotive is lit only by the massive fire burning a few feet before you and cut into flickering shafts by the holes in the firebox door. You're on the embankment now, with an entire nation to your left and the sea to your right. Fishing boats and tugs motor about near the shore, their running lights barely seen in the mist. It's early autumn, leaves on the line are thrown up the drivers and over the locomotives shoulder, joining the steam, soot, and light rain. The driver strikes a match and goes to light his pipe, you see his face, blackened in the patches by the coal dust and streaked with sweat. You feel the locomotive slow a touch, the slack goes out of the cars like a stretching cat. You reach for your shovel, you've got to climb again. As the match goes out the driver intones "go easy, son, were ahead of time."

>>12587714
You'll be fine. You have a degree, you're head and shoulders above many people.

Is it worth paying off your student loans (>america) as quickly as possible by devoting essentially all your income to it IF the interest rate isn't particularly high? I understand that mathematically you want to get rid of them asap but from a more practical quality of life perspective what's the best strategy? I could pay mine off entirely in a few months but it would involve living with my parents while working and liquidating all my savings and assets.

>/lit/ - financial advice

>>12587805
There's zero reason to pay them off in a hurry other than the emotional comfort of being debt free. You would do well to invest any extra income you have into either building up emergency savings, or, if that is taken care of, a retirement account of some kind. Fama/French's aggregate stock market return for last 100 or so years is like 11% so unless the interest is higher than that you are much better of with your dollars at work in investments.

t. holds a B.S. in Finance

There has to be a way to leverage my /lit/-related skills into making lots of money a year. There's a way to make money doing literally anything if you're clever enough and you make the right connections. How can I make a lot of money with my abilities as a reader, a writer, and a commentator?

It's astonishing how all the imperious projects and insistent attempts to remake the world, from gigantic marching armies and heated demagogues riling up the masses to drastic clanking industrial revolutions all sum up to an inaudible pip in the cosmic void.

It comes as a relief really, knowing that ultimately none of it matters, that entropy always wins out in the end, and everything just sort of goes poof at some point. Because if it did matter, and it did turn out that were were here on earth working out some kind of involuted hidden equation for the fulfillment of reality by passing on the fire of life to the next generations, by going through the motions, by exhausting some of the total possibilities in the prosecution of day to day affairs, by contributing a little piece here or there to the big picture, suddenly life becomes a double burden. You've got a role to play out, even if your role is to get hit by a bus.

All told I believe stopping to reflect on this truth points to a flaw in human consciousness. Like Zapffe's metaphor of the Elk whose antlers grow too big and end up weighing its head down. Because we're not supposed to stop and reflect on this, we're supposed to be wholly enthusiastic about, invested in, and committed to our own lives and infatuated with other people and the things they do as if it's all the most compelling business.

We're supposed to enjoy meals, cuddle, crack jokes, have sex and fall in love without stopping to question any of it. Wondering why is a mistake.

If you stop for a moment to question the foundations of everything you've slipped out of the mesh of make believe that keeps everyone purring along and upon which civilization is founded.

What do you do once you've already made this mistake? Simple, you forget about it and go back to feeling that your own life and goals are important. Unlike the elk we can saw off our overgrown antlers.

>>12587854
Didn't read but based overmind gif

>>12587885
i also only read his post because of the overmind gif.

I thought his post was going to read like overmind dialogue

People only seem to come to these threads to bitch about how depressed they are. I am starting to get the feeling that most of it is not the "something is wrong in brain" type and more "poor me". With a few of the former exceptions, most of these depression posts are incredibly self absorbed. Somehow you got it in your mind that no one knows what it is like to be you. That there is no way any one could stand the pain and suffering that is your life. Even if you think of yourself as complete shit, you're still thinking about yourself.

The answers to your problems are not going to come off of a Mongolian basket weaving site yet you post here constantly. Its the same fucking frog picture you posted yesterday with a story of some new calamity in your life. Do you really expect to one day read a post on here and have it change your entire life? There is no combination of words that I can put here that will make it all click for you. Still, you spend hours on here in vain hope that one day the spark you need to turn your life will pop up in one of these threads. The only way your life will change is if it comes from you. You either have to make the change yourself, or ask a loved one for help.

Do not think that I underestimate how great a task this is. It is incredibly difficult to realize flaws in your way of thinking and damn near impossible to change it, but it can be done. The change is not going to happen on here and the more I see the same shit sob story posted everyday the more my pity shifts from genuinely sympathetic to feeling a complete lack of respect.

>>12587757
cool, part of a story or novel idea?

>>12587911
No, just inspired by a game I've been playing where you build model train layouts

>>12587901
>or ask a loved one for help.

that's kind of selfish 2bh

Fuck this I'm going to the all night place that has pie.

>>12587917
well its a neat little paragraph. The imagery you put in there makes me feel the rush of the train capped off by a perfect line from the driver. Would definitely read more.

>>12587901
It's comfortable to stay in a pit of self-pity. The longer you stay in the tar, the more it molds to you and the stickier it gets.

But I agree with you. So many people here just need to get off their computer and take some goddamn responsibility for their lives and choices.

Keep in mind though that mental illness is by definition self-absorbed. Part of the trap is not being able to see how much you're stuck in your own head.

>>12587929
depends how many times you ask them and if you follow up. If you ask for their help repeatedly, and put no effort into doing anything yourself, then yea its selfish.

>>12587901
>There is no combination of words that I can put here that will make it all click for you.
>he hasn't started with the Eastern canon yet

>>12587901
based Jordan Petersonposter

>>12587901
>incredibly self absorbed

Aren't you just describing the symptoms of depression? Self-absorbed rumination is part of it. Just as a physical wound draws your attention to your body and what is wrong with it, an emotional wound does the same except it draws your attention to your mind.

I'm not saying this is a good way to be but it's how depression works. Phenomenologically it's narrowing; your perception of the whole world constricts to the dark grimy inside of your skull.

Every thought, of any degree of profundity, comes to me only as a whisper; briefly blowing in, then vanishing like a gust of mild wind. I await a moment of eureka that will illuminate my mind like a fire in a dark room, but all I ever get is but a spark. Confound it all! And why is it that this mind of mine, so prone to thoughts unique and questions unexplored, so idle in the moments of clarity that are granted to me? Is it an illness? Stillness? My mind is as clouded and troubled as Gautama's before he sat beneath the tree. Will meditation or reflection deliver the spark to the thought that is to be my illuminant, or is it in darkness, with only brief respite, that my ponderances are condemned?

>>12587854
Toxic Nihilism

Go clean your room and make the most of it

Nofap is real. I’m on a few weeks and I’m so full of rage I’m half ready for Adolph to come back.

>>12588320
it's 'Adolf' you dumb idiot naziposter

How many layers of multi-level logic am I on? I can't tell anymore.

>>12588371
Wow you caught a typo in my shitpost.
Here’s an upvote!

there are people making more money and who are better educated than most/all of us in this thread who work for disney and thought will smith's alladin design was a good idea.... this baffles me as a wageslave. who thought this would be a good idea??

I wish to become an Irishman.

All I think about all the time is politics and philosophy and lament seeing that the West is in decline while no one seems to notice.
I have trouble engaging in the conversations about irrelevant material things that my friends talk about because I see it all as meaningless when there are existential crises of a monumental proportion looming over us.
People I know are completely indifferent or unbeknownst to anything that actually matters.

>>12588432
So you can join the circus as a monkey?

>>12588426
doesn't that piss you off? they probably got legacy admits or a nepotism hire, still sometimes its like "how did they not know people would hate this?" like what was that super flop movie about cities that roll around on steam punk tanks or whatever, what retard thought that would make money? doesn'r anybody remember "water world" or "wild west", nobody likes those movies stop making them every ten years and then being surprised when it fails

>>12588446
I appreciate their country for existing and they're the best.

The United States of America is older than the invention of sushi.

>>12588471
Sushi means rice, you mean the nigiri type of the dish.

>>12588485
Yes.

>>12588460
Movies nowadays are produced purely for propaganda purposes.
They have ceased to be a form of art.

>>12587854
You can wonder why and still go on. You can do all those things even though you realise there is no point to them. You can keep doing them nevertheless. If the is no "why", then there is no "why not" either. There is just a huge "might as well" as big as the universe.
Anyway, you won't have to worry about this forever. It's going to be over soon, so relax. Maybe laugh about it instead of worrying over it.

>>12588439
>he thinks his thoughts are important

oh god. I've become an insecure cocky idiot who pretends to be an expert on things I know nothing about.

how the fuck did I get to this point?

>>12588439
Just because people seem indifferent doesn't mean nobody else can see it. Most people don't, but there are some who can see it all and still seem oblivious exactly because they know. They choose to live as if nothing's the matter because that is the only way you can still enjoy wherever we have left, while the other approach--worrying and whining--will not make a dent in it more than, say, worrying about the coming of the night manages to put a speedbump on the sun's path over the sky.

>>12588544
Peer pressure to compete, fueled by shame, fueled by your ego. Nothing unusual nowadays. You'll feel it all your life.

>>12587757
And I wrote this for the same thread. I wonder if anyone's read it and what they thought. Not that it's particularly worth reading, I just wonder.
======
">what it is like being a train driver
It truly is a /lit/ job. I remember my father packing his lunch and his book in his old leather briefcase that he had from his dad and leaving for work at 5.15 am for the day shift, or twelve hours later if he was on for the night. Sure, he was on a diesel, later on electric, so the work was far less physical, but alertness needed to be just as high. What he read was mostly sci-fi pulp, but he also had quite a few classics under his belt. It's hard to concentrate, there is no quiet of course, although to me that deep, warm growl of an idling diesel engine is one of the comfiest sounds there is, and I'm sure he would have said the same. It's also hard to concentrate because you get maybe five, ten, twenty spare minutes at a time, and then you get to do this twenty or maybe fifty times a day, so you won't be finishing your Hegel and translating a few lines from Ars Amatoria before dinner, for fun, sure. But imagine a late fall early twilight, the city slowly lighting up in the distance, blackbirds settling on treetops just beyond the railyard fence, you're idling on line 26, the last line next to the row of poplars, there's wood and cigarette smoke and glowing light and laughter coming out of the switchmen's hut, you turn your own cabin's caged 25W lightbulb on and it's so weak your can almost see the moment when the dusty orange photons paint the metal walls, like a tiny shockwave in a fishbowl, then you turn the hotplate on for your second coffee of the night, lower the tiny round chair (the day shift guy's no taller than a donkey and he never bothers wiping her windows on the outside), stick your feet under the heater, give a quick eye to the clock knowing you'll get at least thirty to forty minutes before the brown noisy radio coughs your call, grab your More Adventures of Pirx the Pilot and settle back to the meaty hum of the diesel beast? How's it sound?"

>>12587460
Yes it is strangely compelling isn't it? The frenetic pace of threads is quite addictive buy there's something hyperreal about he obvious shilling, shadowy groups setting agendas in among all the shit posting.

>>12587791
I appreciate that. And I do realize that I'm at least skirting the edge of self-pity. That said, I've been spewing my resume across the face of the earth for two months now, and the best-paid job I've been offered has been for $13 an hour. I won't do it because it's insulting; I'd rather work at McDonald's for $13 an hour than do something quote-unquote professional for $13 an hour.

>>12586331
Drinking some good wine and eating good food makes,me merry as nothing else.
I'll spend the rest of the day drinking more and reading.
Life is good

>>12586331
camus is right
sisyphus is happy

>>12587901
>any combination of words
Pft, you just need path-to-victory

May be time to quit drinking. I’m pretty strong, but when I have a black out or drink for days straight on end, I feel like unlike a normal person headache, I have to reboot my entire personality.

I have at least a solid week of “what the fuck was I doing?” and “Oh shit that’s right I like that don’t I”s, on top of seemingly losing the ability to focus, stand up for myself and basically, reverting to every bad habit I had in high school.

At least I have you shit-posting and books.

>>12588581
This is wisdom right here.

The smartest people you meet on these topics wind up being medium above average social people who don’t talk about it unless in the right situation.

thematically and structurally my next novel is pointlessly unoriginal. it has a message, but its a message is just an excuse.

in the end, its all concept and characters or substance

>>12589891
Sounds like the Big Lebowski. Is it a comedy, otherwise it would be pretty boring.

>>12586331
Cunny

>>12589971
its not a comedy. its a piece of garbage anime turd that I promised I would write, even though I knew it was garbage

>>12590005
Sounds like it could be good. If you think it is such shit, make it completely absurd. Mock your on work and the very nature of the book.

>>12590026
you don't even know what it is

>>12589971
i think inherent vice is like pynchon decided to redo the big lebowski so its actually good

>>12586331
I love these threads since half of the responses are people bitching about their life and the other half are okay attempts at poetry and prose.

>>12588917
it's called an entry level job moron, it's orders of magnitude easier to get a job when you already have a job, you're not going to get some amazing 6 figure offer unless you're coming from stanford or harvard ok, god zoomers are clueless

>>12588581
Yes, I know a person like this.
I have respect for people like this who can internalise it all and remain stoic.
No idea how they do it.

>>12590688
read a book its in the gita fgt

>>12588599
I asked this question in the other thread. Thank you for the response.
This approaches levels of comfy I wouldn't have thought possible.
So you can read while you drive a train? You don't need to constantly steer or stare out the front window or something?

>>12590696
Don't shill your pleb non-European literature here faggot

>>12590738
the gita is more "european" than thing you call a bible

>>12590747
I hope you find Christ, brother.

>>12586331
My brother died recently. He was a big fan of books and would always send me memes and links from this board. Brought him a lot of joy. Thanks a lot for that, you filthy degenerates.

>diane greene former ceo of google cloud forced out and replaced by charles kurian, former sales exec for oracle
>yfw when the next 100 years will be a battle between hindus and jews for control of america as the wasps continue to degenerate

meanwhile the chinese continue to build their own country rather than to parasitically swarm america, it will be interesting to see how the future of humanity plays out

>>12590794
Thanks for taking his place, sorry for your loss.

>>12588511
(You) stop spreading this fake news

>>12590856
recommend me a art movie from 2018

>>12590856
Fair enough.
I'll just get back to watching tv shows where every couple is gay or mixed race. I won't forget to watch my female ghostbusters and my star wars film with based minorities, empowered women and not subtle at all critiques of capitalism as if Hollywood isn't the archetypal embodiment of decadent, degenerate capitalism

>>12590893
>watching tv
>watching movies

only degenerate around here is u

>followed on youtuber
>haha I like this guy's content haha :)
>he says "about" in a strange manner
>look up his twitter and he's from fucking ontario

ree
>follow another Youtuber
>haha he reminds me of someone I know irl :) haha
>he says "about" strange and dresses like he's from the 90s
>look him up and he's from toronto
FUCKING HELL EVERY TIME I WANT THEM OUT

>>12590899
I was responding to a post denying that modern film isn't solely used as a propaganda tool.
I don't watch tv or movies.

>>12588511
You're obviously watching shitty movies then, anon.

>>12590900
that's one reason why the music industry signs and promotes canadian artists so much, it appeals to flyover country americans more than stuff from los angeles or new york, notice canadian asshole drake is the number one rapper in america, and probably the top selling rock group is too...also you notice pitchfork was originally from minnesota or some shit? things that appeal to that region in general are more likely to be commercially successful than some super hip bullshit from the coasts

>>12590920
Yeah Canadians appeal to me the FUCK up. I wish they didn't because I'm a nationalist but dayum Canadians. Unf.

>>12590891
Top be clear I was agreeing, albeit in a fasceious manner. It seems to me that today not only are mainstream Hollywood movies entirely propaganda, but most media available is propaganda or advertisement and I don't care to consume it as I once did. I also believe content creation will become more and more important as we lead more sedentary lifestyles and even more so if basic income is established/ automation

>>12590891
"Piña" (2011)

Everything. It's not too late. I am improving and my recovery is quite speedy. And I know, some part of me deep down knows she is the only entity I will ever truly care about. Thankfully, the truth does not matter anymore. I know how I got here, though it would be interesting to find out why as well. I see most of what can come next. It's beautiful.

Should I follow up with my best friends sister after we had a coke fueled night together a few days ago? She has some weird shit going on with another guy who is a manipulative clinger and she spends a lot of time with a different guy but I don't know if the she and the latter are dating.

I don't know what to do first because she is someone I've known a long time but we've only gotten close over the past year and second I have no experience with women outside awkward and usually drug influenced one night stands.

What's your politics?
What's your religion?
What's your intake?
your reason for living?

>>12592451
Green
Anglo-American Christianity & Taoism
Vegetables and sometimes cheese
Video games

>>12592322
She seems like those sluts that just bring suffering. Get away from her.

>>12592451
>ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'

tic tac dick
lol

RE: write what's on your mind

I don't know. Sometimes I feel alright, sometimes not so much. Sometimes I think thoughts, sometimes too many thoughts. Other times it's relatively quiet. That's the part I like, the quiet part.
I should become a digital archeologist and collect rare pepes and wojacks.
Another day, another burger.
I am hopeful that I will change for the better, but so far I'm still stuck. Inertia, weak, etc. Excuses.
Can't even form a sentence, so what's the point.
Kind regards,

Brap

>>12592576
I acknowledge that but I think I will ignore it out of desperation for intimate human contact. And I'm thinking I'll get shut down if I approach the subject when we are both sober so why not try?

I’m reading Neuromancer rn. It’s the first genre fiction I’ve read in a while. Is it just me or is it hard to fucking follow and visualize what’s going on? Not because it’s a difficult book but because Gibson is terrible at describing things.

>>12592451
Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat Shit! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!

I'm a grown ass man and I have a huge crush on Jesse. I normally have a thing for girls with dark hair and green eyes but this one is just embarrassing.

What are some non-obvious things in society that you're locked out of for not having a degree? Being able to donate to sperm banks is one. Any others?

Trying to read Blake. Thankfully the poems are printed on sep pages in readable type

>>12593398
What book? I want it for the aesthetics.

How can anyone hold a value while not believing in God, or in a transcendence?

Nigga
Got a girl from the north
Skuh!
Gon tell her what's worth
Yuh?
Tell her I wanna skud her
Uh!
Tell her I wanna love her
What?
Give her an uzi and 20
Yeah?
Drive while she drinkin' the henny
Wuh?
Skeet on her homies, I'm livin'
Yah!?
Skeet on those boys 'til I'm heaven

>settle on a plot for my novel
>enjoy it for five minutes
>start to hate it

What is wrong with me? Why can't I do this anymore? I wrote my first novel just fine, why did I lose the ability to make decisions?

some fat bitch at work had a cold i better not get sick

>>12593919
Swallow some Zicam, nigga.

>>12593931
wat

>>12586331
Fuck the goddamn Japanese. If I could exterminate two things in history, they would be Walt Disney and the Japanese. Goddamn it, I hate them both so, so much.

i just saw this packet of emergen-c im about to mix into some protein powder expired in 2018 what will happen if i drink it

>>12593971
japan is pretty fuckin wack ima be honest

She plays with me and doesn't even realize. The most pathetic part is how no one else looks at me like that, gives me such attention and appears to actually see value in my words. I'm so used to being ignored and dismissed that dealing with her leaves me disoriented, like being taken by a whirlwind made of life. She breaks all my barriers and doesn't even try.

What draws me to her is much more than being appreciated, but I only realized the impact of such appreciation recently, so that's still fresh on my mind.

Never acting on my desires towards a committed woman makes me glad, but God, I feel so alone tonight.

Anyway, this song has been meandering my thoughts for a while:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox7RsX1Ee34

>>12593416
Not him, but the complete illuminated books might be what you are looking for.

>>12594036
>Anyway, this song has been meandering my thoughts for a while:
>kendrick lamar

dropped, pseud

>>12593971
If I could exterminate two things in history, they would be people who are intolerant of other cultures, and the Dutch. Goddamn it, I hate them both so, so much.

>>12594053
>>12594053
Nigga, I've been listeining to him since Section.80, I just like how it sounds. I knew someone would complain about the song, but I'm sick of censoring myself all the time.

>>12593964

>>12594062
Make that four things

i have to go grocery shopping and do laundry tomorrow so annoying

>>12594379
I'm getting a haircut and looking for clothes so I can impress a girl who I'm not even sure is interested. Though she looked pretty happy to see me without a shirt which was the first time that ever happened to me.

>>12594454
i need to learn how to comb my hair, my dad was bald and i just wore hats my whole life, i can't get a real job wearing a hat or leaving my hair ungroomed, recommend me a book or youtube

I'm not misogynistic, just ... disappointed I guess. Seeing the condition of women really saddens me, there is so much unmet potential lying in their sex, waiting for them to unlock it. And they have to lock it for themselves, that's the key, for themselves. De Beauvoir was correct in calling women the "second sex", as long as women are entirely defined by their relation to men and to society at large, they will never be free of their particular pathologies and problems. I don't think it will ever happen though, or at least not in my immediate descendants lifetimes. As long as things like pregnancy and childbirth are still things, women will always be necessarily derivative and objectified. Shit, I'm not even a feminist and I'm talking like them. They were right, but not in the ways that most of their followers understood them. Women need to learn how to free themselves from their own bodies before they free themselves from "the patriarchy"

>>12594458
well that post sure reeked of roastbeef

>>12594474
I have a penis

>>12594457
I can't recommend any external source. Personally I had no idea what to do with my hair until recently. I started getting mine clipped to 1" and slightly tapered down the sides and back. Then I use some shaping cream to brush the top to the side.

>>12594501
ur post is gay cuz trannies can't get pregnant or give birth and yet they objectify themselves even more than chicks without dicks, looks like ur lil theory isnt ready for prime time

>>12594512
Their self objectification is only a copy and derivative of ciswomen's. Trannies don't really matter in this conversation because they don't last more than one generation and don't permanently affect the dynamic between men and women

>>12594458
>Seeing the condition of women really saddens me
Same. But the same goes with males.

I really like that picture and that's weird.

>>12594520
what if women just aren't equal to men and never will be?

I went from middle class to low class (my fault). It amazes me what the lower class is willing to put up with. I’m so full of disdain and rage for this world. No I’m not better than it but I’m definitely more willing to part with it than others.

>>12594537
when i was younger some dude said "if you're going to be stupid, you better be tough" idk what the actually source is cuz i heard it a couple times since then, but it's p true

I want me a homegrown lesbian country gal girlfriend and to fill my bookshelves full of cowboy novellas.
yee yee

>YNW Melly arrested for double murder

literally who? i stopped browsing /mu/ like 5 years ago

>>12594562
what's with with lesbians and cowboys

>>12594624
The stereotype's gay cowboys and lesbian alternative/goth/punk girl/girly girls.
I've just been listening to hickhop lately though.

i ate too many bbq rib burgers from the dollar store now im going to half to workout more to get my abs crispy

I got herpes from a girl that put make up over her cold sore and kissed me
I am miserable

>>12590679
Palpate my anus, faggot. As you would have noticed had you read my original post, I've attained a master's and have spent years doing unpaid internships. I'm not going to apply my skills and experience to a job that gives me back minimum wage.

>>12594673

>>12594692
Pretty graphic

>>12594531
Language is an imperfect thing, anon. I recently had a spat with some twits from /pol/ about what “equal” meant and could mean.
In many ways women, or individual women, are greater than men.
Swallow that.

>>12594537
It amazes me what people like you are willing to put up with and part with.

>>12594689
I wish I could a minimum wage job.

>>12594722
What's holding you back?

My conscoiusness was a morass of invertedd reality. basically, i was a 4chan janny. and that's what 've always wanted. God bless.

>>12594713
you again. what's yoru favorite book?

>>12594724
They keep rejecting me. And I have experience in minimum wage. It's making me very deflated.

>>12594775
Hey! I just worked out a Rubik's cube properly for the first time ever. Well done, me.

Speaking of, do you have any pursuits that help keep your will to live up while you're searching for work?

I'm going to end my life soon. The two things that make me sad are how my dad will react, and the fact that I haven't created any worthwhile art. I just cannot keep living like a loser. I'll never be happy. Even if I had everything I want, I'd still be empty inside.

What sort of person takes their motorbike out at 2:26 AM, regularly? They leave the helmet on the bike even in the rain. How would you explain such a person ?

>>12594800
No one lives forever, Anon. It's best to see what comes next, to get to your next.

>>12594458
All things you can talk about are objectified in some way. Trannies objectify the shit out of women. Imaginary gender people objectify the genders they aren’t (“I’m not a woman, I’m a guy sometimes and a girl others” “okay smart xe, tell me what it means to be a woman and what women do that you don’t”)

Acting in direct opposition to a label is still being controlled by the label. Women would do well to stop making everything into a fucking movement. If you completely reject being compared to men, you are still being controlled by them. Assert what you personally enjoy and think is right. Just because something is a social standard doesn’t mean you have to do it. Just because someone calls you something doesn’t mean you are it or have to do all behaviors of the thing because you happen to do some of them.

Also “will be objectified” by who? Some imaginary aggregate imaginary “man”? That doesn’t exist. Average man doesn’t exist, there are only individuals.

>>12590728
You cannot read while you drive the train, but you might get a lot of breaks during which there is nothing to do. If you're shunting you may get a lot of small breaks. If you're hauling long distance you will get less breaks, but they might be longer and more predictable. At least that's how it was in the good old days. All I see drivers do nowadays when idle is shoot the shit with each other or play on their phones. One guy I know does crossword puzzles. That's it.
Wait, I'm idealising my recollections. That's what they did in the good old days, too (minus the phones). Nobody read then either, other than my dad.

Japanese and Swahili are the same language

>>12594763
Hard to say. Recent fav pictured.

Yourcenar - Memoirs of Hadrian
Ellison - Invisible Man
Stendhal - The Red and the Black

>>12587153
wrong

I desperately want to play chess but I don't understand it. I've been trying for years. It's just too complicated for my brain to keep up with all te rules. I must be the stupidest person alive.

>>12595590
>all the rules
c'mon now, there isn't THAT many

>>12595590
read seirawan's book series "play winning chess"

Maybe coming here was a bad idea. Evidently I'm just too much of a social autist to seem interesting so now my probationary period's been extended and I have to completely change myself in order to stay here and not get fired and have to go home a failure, after having wasted so much money, time, and energy trying to do this. This is the first job I've had out of college and I'm only 24 but right now I feel like I'm doomed to be a loser for life.

Fake it til you make it I guess....ha ha

>>12595985
>>12595985
>What job?
Gotta use anxiolitics dude so you don't care messing social interaction. Try phenibut if you can't have a prescription.

>>12594800
don´t do it anon, i believe in you

>>12596005
At an Eikaiwa (English conversation school) in Japan (won't say which one) and I just feel way too overwhelmed at the moment to even try and find some english speaking psych to talk to. So it's not just losing the job that's the thing but really I had to spend a lot of time and money (like half of what was in my checking account at home) in order to get here and get settled.

I've already started trying harder to work on what my manager told me but still I can't help but envision my inevitable failure and how much I'll hate myself afterwards.

>>12595985
u have to be pretty low iq to fail at an entry level job sheesh

>>12594689
maybe you should have majored in something that is actually useful?

>>12593919
yup im gonna get sick, i had crazy nightmares last night aka "fever dreams" which is the first stage of getting sick, man fuck that fat blob couldnt she just stay the fuck home. currently eating oranges since thats supposed to help, nut if i eat to many itll give me diarrhea and while the bathrooms at my work are above average, taking a shit at work is always hellish

>>12596180
Probably a shitpost but the lessons themselves are pretty simple to teach and most students are able to understand them. It's that extra bit of personality that I think I'm too autistic to do plus trying to find the right balance between trying to be fun and outgoing and getting the lower level students to comprehend what you're saying. I also have a really soft voice so that doesn't help me either.

>>12596271
oh it was a teaching job, i thought u got shitcanned from some copier boy office job, yeah, it can take a few tries to land a permanent teaching gig because those are union jobs which basically means once they hire you full time they are stuck with you for life

I've always found people who go to Japan to teach English strange.
When I was a weeb, I wanted to go to Japan and become an animator, not drone on about my own language to retarded midgets.

"hn" has so many fucking retards on it, everytime i browse the comments i just want to shitpost like "brainlet post" "turbo pleb" "ultra brainlet" like rn there is some article about how neural nets are basically glorified polynomial regression, and all these wannabe data scientist retards are like "nuh uh! nns are fuckin magical!" its like come on i dont have a math background but just from watching a bunch of youtubes on neural nets and backpropogation and gradient descent its obvious that neural nets are essentially doing a big fancy regression...hn just seems to be guys who got lucky gigs doing javascript in the valley and now think they're geniuses

>>12595066
your dad sounds cool

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3AKjo1xe_Q

i watched this on youtube and now all the recommended videos are like quasi-porn "how to make a girl squirt in under 5 minutes" etc. and "maddie sparkle miss pole dance australia 2nd place" what the hell

>>12596462
That's on you, buddy.

Three years ago, my uncle, the man who actually raised me while my mother was dying and my dad was over working to pay the bills, was falsely accused of rape and murder. There was a trial and he has been proved innocent. During the case I was completely fucked up, I had to endure harassment and betrayals, seeing some people my family trust just jumping in the guilty bandwagon.

I have been friends with Kim and Ash since a long time, elementary school, and now we are fucking adults. They are my best friends. A week ago, Kim told me about how her best friend (Susie) told her how Ash raped her a year ago.

I knew about Susie because a year ago Ash himself approached to me and told me how Susie accused him of abusing her, with that word. The situation was like this: both drank like crazy and did drugs for an entire day. At some point, Susie woke-up with him on top of her, she pushed him and both discussed him passing boundaries.

Ash wanted to talk to her, reconstruct the night. But Susie didn't want to talk about it. Now, a year has passed, and her version is that he was raping her that time.

I am just an acquaintance of Susie. Ash and Kim are my best friends. And I feeling that being extremely high and drunk make them hard to be accountable, but Ash still should consider his own responsibilities. He at least tried, but Susie just denied any contact or confrontation, it means no allegations or lawyers.

As for me, as someone who went through hell three years ago, I feel confused and tired. But I am feeling somehow guilty, I even think about cutting ties with him just for the fear of being labelled as a friend of a rapist. Because, big news, even if my uncle was proven innocent, some people still believe he is a rapist and a murderer.

My mind is filled with this shit. I feel surrounded by the slumber as if it was an entity, and for second time I understand how tempting is to cast the first stone and pretend you are without sin. How easy is to side with the victim, with the death one, and the real outsider is actually in the other side, covered by the dark and the uncertain. Is so easy to outline the sinner, a plain black, and is so hard to give boundaries to the victim, with all that shining that blinds you and makes you lower your head. I fucking feel squint.

I had a good night with an old friend who is a girl on Monday. Would it be weird or too fast to ask her if she wants to do anything tonight?

I'm gonna do some stretching and try and finish reading a book today. Wish me luck, /vg/! ^_^

I learned how to make girls like me but it's not nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be.

>>12596877
way better is to trick is to make venture capitalists like you

amazon pulled hq2 out of nyc, aoc gets her first corporate scalp!

It occurred to me how much of a premium on optimism there is these days. It's like the law of supply and demand but applied to attitudes. Many seem to have a grim outlook based on any combination of eventualities. So anyone with a hint of optimism shines out like an immortal lighthouse flashing over a dark roiling sea of hopelessness. The abundance of pessimism makes optimists shine brighter.

Or maybe I've noticed the worthlessness of my own pessimism and have projected and enlarged it onto others. However I know very few people who would say this is the best of times. And even if these are the best of times according to dry statistical metrics, those data ring hollow. There seems to be something afoot, a slow festering of the human spirit, though I can't quite put my finger on it. Possibly it has to do with the conquest of experience and domination of human relations by technology.

>>12596847
Okay I finished reading my book now.

There are quite a fair amount of footage of me being a master cringelord kid/teenager on my parents' laptop that I fear my sister is looking too much at.
tldr. she showed it to some members of my family.

>>12597643
And now you're a twenty-something with frog images on your computer. Let it go.

>>12596837
>Hey are you doing anything tonight? Want to hang out and have some drinks?

So I'm about to say fuck it and ask her but how bad is that? She's a friend so I think I can be that casual but idk I don't talk to women.

>>12597745
I just want to forget and not have family members teasing me about stuff.

My favorite indie gamemaker made a new game which is fun but I can't play the old game which I enjoyed doing when I was stressed. The new game has more of a narrative than the prequel; it's more structured, has better graphics, a nicer artstyle (even though the original had extremely simplistic graphics) but something about it no longer being as rudimentary as possible, the bare minimum for a video game, something about it hollows me out.

lost my virginity a few nights ago at 22 years of age, shit was cash, we did it 6 times, girl refused to believe I was a virgin when she asked me about my last fuck, apparently I was the best she ever had, despite the fact that I was fucking her soft half the time due to performance anxiety.

>>12586331
https://www.quotev.com/story/11672224/The-Most-Important-Artwork-On-The-Milky-Way/4

https://www.quotev.com/story/11676902/The-Baked-Maxwell

https://www.quotev.com/story/11682311/The-Dynamite-Crayons

https://www.quotev.com/story/11672240/The-Moscatel-Grapes

https://www.quotev.com/story/11672233/The-Walking-Aphrodisiac

>>12586331
I started talking to a guy online and I really like him so far and he seems to be interested in me but I'm worried he'll think I'm ugly. He lives only a couple hours away so I wanna meet him in person but my looks are average and I'm kinda chubby so I feel like he won't be interested after that.
Also I let myself fall behind in all of my classes over the past couple because I stopped taking my meds because I thought I didn't need them anymore. I've started back on them but now I have mountains of work to do when I all I wanna do is read.

I filled out the application but have no desire to turn it in

>>12597755
Idk sounds fine to me

Anna Karenina left me devastated.

For Anna suffering through all the traps of her circumstances and the ultimate loss of her mind. The anxiety and total helplessness hit home hard. For Vronsky unable to understand and communicate with Anna about her circumstances. For Levin because I identified with his struggle for meaning and his conclusion left me hollow. Levin in particular resonated with me like no other character has.

For the writing that is unlike anything else I've read. For the fact I don't even feel like picking up another book because I may have just read one of the finest works of literature.

Nothing has ever left me feeling like this before.

>>12588439
tiddies

>>12594763
Please stop replying to the tripcunt and it might go away.

>>12598229
She won’t

>>12597830
Hollow Knight?

I feel pity for those who haven't seen God

Happy Valentines day

>>12598250
nah m8 lmao

>>12598307
Absolute fucking classic.

>>12592451
idk
idk
idk
idk

>>12598381
let me rephrase:
idk
idk
water and veggies and bananas
idk

I hate that my town doesn't have a literature club that isn't '20-40s Ladies Book Club' or 'Female Experience Book Club'. I want to make one through my university, but I doubt anyone would come. I miss being a part of a club.

>>12598433
You should go there and bang the milves.

I wish real life were surreal.
I think I'll stop writing my first novel, a fantasy-scifi story, for something surrealistic.

I just found out one of my cousins accidentally froze themselves to death in a freezer a few years ago.
What a way to go.

I was terrible to my grandmother for years and now she's in the hospital for heart failure. Honestly don't know what I'll do without her considering she takes care of me.

I've never dealt with death before (aside from pets) so I'm having a mini panic attack. I've constantly thought "I have time, it won't happen yet". Idk what to do.

>>12598786
How old was he?

>>12598800
Nice dub-dubs.
Also, start by staying calm and washing your penis.

>>12598939
24, they worked at a facility that freezes stuff.
Please don't insult the intelligence of my family. We're engineers, pilots, musicians, etc. but that one death really makes me think.

https://pastebin.com/55eAwxbq

this is what's on my mind. probably more appropriate in a crit thread but oh well

>mfw he says toque instead of beanie

>girl from uni seems interested but, maybe because I'm too autistic or beta, her interest goes away.
>leads me around, like saying we should go out, even setting up the date, and then not returning my texts on the day.
>this happens twice, then I say fuck it and move on.
>she tries to get my attention again but I ignore her
>fast forward a couple months
>I decide to change majors
>girl in my new class is a doppelganger of the old one

Might not seem like much, but it's the fourth absurd event related to my nonexistent love life that happened over these last few weeks. I do believe God is making himself present and helping me better myself during these past few months, but hell if I know what am I supposed to do with these particular signs- Actually, now that I think about it, each of them centers around one of three girls I tried to have something with, maybe he's telling me it's time to let go.

Might not seem like much, but it's the fourth absurd event related to my nonexistent love life that happened over these last weeks.

>girl from uni seems interested but, maybe because I'm too autistic or beta, her interest goes away.
>leads me around, like saying we should go out, even setting up the date, and then not returning my texts on the day.
>this happens twice, then I say fuck it and move on.
>she tries to get my attention again but I ignore her
>fast forward a couple months
>I decide to change majors
>girl in my new class is a doppelganger of the old one

Might not seem like much, but it's the fourth absurd event related to my nonexistent love life that happened over these last few weeks. I do believe God is making himself present and helping me better myself during these past few months, but hell if I know what am I supposed to do with these particular signs- Actually, now that I think about it, each of them centers around one of three girls I tried to have something with, maybe he's telling me it's time to let go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4-ITypGWq4

Trying to be life affirming is one of the hardest things I have to do. Being able to look at your whole history and say “Yes, all of the pain that I will have to go through is worth it, even if the calculus doesn’t even out in the end.”. It would be so easy to hate the world, to deny that this is all there is, to come to terms with the reality of being a finite being, of only being a infinitesimal part of existence. And also, to accept that not everyone has to deal with this problem. It would also be easy to say that most people live in bad faith about their existence, and only I and a select cadre have the courage to face life on our two feet. That would be wrong, most people don’t have the specific type of trauma that would cause them to need to look for answers outside of their self (or tradition (which is just an extension of the self)). I wish I could be as lucky as they are. It’s hard to put this down into words without relying on cliches or basically plagiarizing someone more eloquent than you are, it’s good to think about for yourself though, if you are the type of person who needs to

if u guys are such hardcore revolutionaries why aren't you going to the march to protest the war on venezuela on february 23rd?

Her dress fell faster

>>12599765
I don't live in Venezuela nor am I Venezuelan.

>>12599777
it's in the united states, to protest the neoliberal assault on venezeulan democracy, in case you didn't notice the people protesting the vietnam war werent vietnamese they were americans

>>12599788
Sounds like some nonsense them swamp boys in MD and VA would do. Maybe NY. Damn liberals.

>>12599798
the main one is at wall street but they have smaller ones in all the major cities apparently

is it too wack to fap it on valentines day

>>12599803
I looked it up now. Personally I doubt that walking around and causing havoc and yelling and shit about a foreign country that's not even in my hemisphere would do much but I'd do it and see if I can get a cute gf if I'm free on that day.

>>12599829
Don't know if you're being sarcastic or not but amazon is a destructive force. I only go to Barnes and Nobels. It doesn't get me any girls (I'm out of their league) but I prefer to just pick me up a few books, tell the nearby folks some cool and wicked lore about Moliere in the "play section", then wave a few hunnies at the cashier just so they know I have dough and don't use credit, and then maybe catch myself a nice hot cup of tea from the local cafe (not Starbucks; they ask me too many questions when I ask for "coffee. hot and black. medium." Sometimes, I wonder if they're trying to brainwash me into actually purchasing their sugary syrup of doom and unhealthy skin by consistently asking if I want it iced or with added sugar and milk. Despicable. Who can drink that nasty milk stew? It's barely even coffee.) But Amazon, Amazon is not a player I trust in this economy. Support your local businesses before ever supporting the megoliath that is Amazon because you can't buy books when your powerlines are down once you've become enslaved to your computer, peon.

I'm going to turn twenty in two months without a single notable life accomplishment. I'm part of the club!

>>12599946
>I'm going to turn twenty in two months
Holy shit ME TOO.
Except I've done many notable things in my life.
Maybe drop the anime, loser. Hahahahaha. Just kidding. But seriously.

>>12599871
just buy some amazon stock so you can get over being such a salty hater

>>12599951
More like a bunch of small businesses in my town have signs on their building that says "Amazon is bad! Stop buying from Amazon! Support small bizzes!" and shit like that but yeah, that's a good idea.

>>12599959
amazon didn't put the small bookstores and record shops out of business in my city, the fucking jacked up rents and influx of luxury developments did, but lucky for them those businesses have been able to keep selling online though sites like amazon

I enjoy writing but it feels pretty useless when no one cares about my work. I don't obsess over become some classic author or anything but I'd like _someone_ to enjoy what I write. As it stands barely anyone reads my work and almost no one understands it. No one gets what I'm trying to articulate. My writing deals with dreams, visions, absent-minded thoughts, that kind of thing. How they mediate reality and the self. I wouldn't say it's particularly confusing or difficult, but it seems like no one wants to bother with something that's not "normally" written, for lack of a better word. Occasionally if I post here I'll get a couple positive replies. Anywhere else I post I usually get nothing.

I just don't know why I should bother. I'll keep coming up with stories, maybe even jot them down in draft form, but what's the point in working on them as a craft? So I can one day bind them all together in a book and look at my totally-unknown life's work?

I'm considering switching to something more normie-friendly like photography or drawing. Literature, or at least the kind of literature I want to write, seems pretty dead.

aww shit midnight, new music on apple music, better be sth good this week

>>12600153
>czarface & ghostface

can someone do an edit of this that deletes all the verses by the guy who's not ghostface?

I'm so lonely and gay.

>>12600273
go on grindr

well at least the full length of this came out

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_i4CWRKIdM

For the first time in ages today I thought I was awake. I went through my whole day noticed no mistakes. I'm supposed to the do the night shift for forever. This is still reeling in my head like a movie theater.

it's time to get another job in another city

when someone offers u gum does it mean ur breath smells like shit so u have to take it? i hate gum

>>12600507
Gum is like gold when you're in elementary school

A few months ago I could have had a threesome with my current gf and a 9/10 mutual friend. Even brought it up to my current gf and she seemed excited. Never went through with it and now the moment has passed. Feels fucking bad bros

I want to make videos where I either read passages from books with video in the background or talk about literary history but I can't tell if my videomaking sucks or if the potential audience is so small that I'm overestimating the number of people who might be interested in it. I also want to conduct comparisons between authors that people wouldn't normally think of as being similar, but once again I'm not sure if anyone cares and it makes me not care about trying.

https://youtu.be/yGQi6f7-yt0

>>12600644
Good video anon. Your channel, if you keep going with this, seems like something that would be right down my alley

Reminder that if you study only one subset of philosophy you're idealogical sheep

>>12594673
I got herpes from a ladyboy in Thailand after ramming his ass for about 4-6 minutes.

>>12600844
Was it worth it?

God made us from dust and breathed into us life and the soul.

Science accounts for the first part - what of the second?

>>12600879
Who breathed life into god?

We’ve got those answers too

>>12586331

The author of this paper I'm grading needs to do the Billy Madison thing and start back over in Kindergarten.

I'm sick and tired of living in commieblocks, even though I have a good job I cannot afford an appart in Paris and have to either live on the edge of the city or outside of it by kms away and commuting is really bad for my mental health.
Every night I come back from work I know that somewhere in an alley I'm passing nearby someone is getting mugged or raped, I literally carry a pocket knife with me just in case, this is too much for a suburbs wimp like me to handle

>>12600907
Post an excerpt.

>>12596185
No debating that. At least insofar as “useful”=“something people will pay me a lot of money to do.”

>>12600105
Sorry, did you say something?

>>12599977
amazon should never have been allowed to exist without being nationalized. That it exists here in Canada as a platform for business and makes money doing this is ludicrous. It is only the fact that people are stupid and lazy that we don't recognize the difference between a healthy corporation and a public service. Amazon is a blight on Canadian economic sovereignty. If no one believes this, ask yourself what you would think of a Chinese version inundating your markets with shit products from shit multinationals, fixing prices, and politicizing the economic realm to such a degree that it makes more of a difference where you get your books from than it does who you vote for.

I've finally read enough to get over Dunning Kruger and realize I'm a fucking brainlet.
There is no rigour in my intellect, my reading lists are random and I often abandon them, there are huge gaps in my knowledge and I have a hard time remembering stuff and concentrating.
There are so many books I've "read" cover to cover in which I've at most understood about 20% of what was going on and walked away feeling like hot shit.
How do I fix this? I feel like it's already too late, like the stuff I'm missing is the stuff a classical education is supposed to guarantee but at this point with a full time job and bills to pay, how the hell am I gonna find the time to get that back properly?

>>12601458
>ask yourself what you would think of a Chinese version inundating your markets with shit products

ever heard of alibaba u utter mong

>>12601716
>guy on 4chan discovers he's actually stupid

this surprises no one

>>12601716
same desu, maybe you just have a wooden soul

>>12587757
>>12588599
This is beautiful anon, thank you.

>>12601832
kek, this

>>12601716
Looks like you were born to be a wageslave anon

>>12601458
agreed, jeff bezos deserves the rope

i wish my roommate would get a job so i'd have a chance to masturbate once in a while

turns out the deadliest serial killer in united states history wasn't a white guy, racists btfo

RaskolnikovRaskolnikovRaskolnikovRaskolnikovDostoevskyRaskolnikovRaskolnikovDostoevskyLuzhinRaskolnikovRaskolnikovMabyeitwasthereaderRaskolnikovRaskolnikovDostoevskyDostoevskyRaskolnikovRaskolnikovRaskolnikovRaskolnikovRaskolnikovWasitworthit?RaskolnikovDostoevsky

>>12586331
I love reading about Tesla's secrete machines and weird metalics structures sinking in Siberia, impossible construction methods used by ancient american civilizations... It's very stressful tho, because I'll never be able to find the truth

>sitting in my comfy bookstore cafe
>enjoying a hot coffee and browsing 4chan, intermittenly reading a few pages from my book
>out of nowhere large black guy comes in with a scarf over his face holding a big bag
>he doesn't take the scarf off
>feel instant jolt of terror and think I'm about to get shot (I am American, after all)
>nervously try to position myself away from him, can't get up and leave cos that'll be too obvious and then he would definitely kill me
>he sits and looks at his phone for about 10 minutes and then leaves, slamming into the shoulder of a little kid while doing so

My fukken face when. Did I just cheat death, bros? Any books for this feel?

>>12603087
One time I found this post on /pol/ about Tesla's "scalar" energy fields. You should seek it out somewhere because it was fascinating.

>>12603249
>browsing 4chan in public

disgusting, please never come back

I'm ninety percent sure it's raining right now. It sure as hell looks like it, but then again the screen on my window could just be moving in the wind and making me think its raining. What does that even mean? "It" is raining - what is this "it" that just so happens to be raining? The sky, maybe? I don't know, and I really wouldn't care to know either. Earlier today, when I left my dorm to get lunch, I walked past a row of dead trees - oaks possibly - and the way the looked against the overcast sky made me extremely anxious. A few words entered into my head and started to form sentences, whole coalitions of ideas marching in rhythm to the beat of a metaphor (like that one, I suppose). Imagine a blackened tree whose bark is still wet from the midnight downpour screaming against dull clouds. Dull, lull, lullaby, I say goodbye; Gentleman: adieu!

>new mass shooting
>no pics of the perp even though they post his name

oh ok it wasnt a white guy, go on /pol/ to check, not even one thread! read some more mainstream news shit

>gunman's sister tameka martin

oh ho ho ho

>trump goes to use emergency powers to fund border security
>democrats say they should use emergency power to ban guns
>new mass shooting a couple hours later

yeah ok

>>12586331
A peaceful place and me being and not being in the middle of a breeze

>>12586331
what's on Your Mind

I can't watch porn anymore. It's unnatural. I rather see a naked person in real life than porn.

>>12604985
you're on the right track bud. Keep the shit up!

I do not know how to get rid of my social anxiety. I can be normal around people but I am a phony, I change depending on the look of the person. I feel like I am never my genuine self. I am insecure. It is getting worse as I get older, despite me not being behind or ahead of my peers.

This picture got me all fucked up.
It's like a real life zombie apocalypse and onions is a brand that only came into existence literally the year following the actual Mayan apocalypse.

>>12605162
He didn't look that great to begin with, also what do you expect from a guy that spends so much time inside playing videogames?
Not to mention the myriad of other things that can go on a man's life without you knowing...
If you're afraid of the little bottle there just don't drink it, mane

>>12605183
Personally, I don't even hate Onions. Actually, I do, though not because of 4chan. See, I'm not a regular on 4chan. Elsewhere on the internet, on sites I usually browse, people have claimed that Onions will leave you listless and dull. There's nothing in it that really gives you the brainpower you require in life. It sucks out the joy and replaces it with a single bottle of organic, natural, nutritious, whatevers. Yes, diversity is good. It's very good. And to live all day and consume only one meal, imagine how your brain would react to that? It would break down and decay, like the brains of an elder in a nursery home, dying slowly as their body loses the ability to acclimate to certain tastes, experiences, the spices of life. All gone. All replaced by a cold, corporate hand.
And I guess what 4channers say about basedbois is bad too but I'm not sure the science behind estrogen and that shit because as an Asian, you don't fucking ingest gallons of estrogen each day like a fucking retard. It doesn't taste THAT good. In fact, it makes me puke.
Now researching into the whole onions schtick, I found an article about how the sugar intake of just onions each day is very destructive to the body. The lack of healthy fats, no good. No fiber? The article goes on how it's bad for your digestive systems (something only a toucan could handle but not a mammal such as myself, rodents, cows, fish probably idk, so many animals require fiber to keep your guts from getting cancer and lower your cardiovascular disease risk with even if from our uneducated eyes it seems to just be waste products.)
I tried watching the Onions movie. I didn't get it. Other than "it's a bad idea" the message was completely lost on me. Fucking nonsense.

I wish I were a robot. I think it'd be interesting to write a novel about a robot in a world full of automatons. How would they see humans? How would humans see automatons in their own autonomous societies? How would robotic children be made? Surely, there would be no need for families or even government. Maybe a neural network to help them out with building and expanding. That would be an interesting idea to write about.

I'm going to BRB. I'm eating squash.

i want to fuck a female. i don’t want to have the interpersonal bullshit, just fucking.

I wish it was possible to be happy alone. Having a girlfriend is exhausting, but I know that if I dump her the emptiness and despair is going to come back

Is the "Trump border wall" actually not Trump's idea at all (like how Obamacare was drafted by Romney years before) and just government/military responce to future climate refugees thanks to capitalism-caused climate change?

It's my first relationship. Can you be ever sure of your love? From my actions I certainly like her but I cannot understand my self. Have I become so detached I've lost myself? If so, I really don't want her to be just a tragic apparatus for this cruel experiment. Is love faith ?

>>12606435
No man is entirely his own master in love. You are detached yes, but is that due to spiritual ascesis, death drive (cruel apparatus you would be make of her then) or just a malformed libido? If it is death drive you will probably start wanting her as soon as she is vanishing, making you desperate and thereby repel her. That is what occurs in my relationships anyway

>>12606173
>I wish it was possible to be happy alone.
it is

>>12606461
Hopefully it's a deformed libido. I've tried to be chaste because I'm religious but it's difficult.

"Strong female characters" are dangerous. In a sense, they teach girls to write a check that their bodies cannot cash. The simple fact is that women are not physically strong and cannot live up to the expectations being taught by these stories. These stories persuade girls to put themselves in compromising situations, thinking they can handle any physical confrontation a man could. If you're familiar with those womens defense courses which teach ineffective techniques and understand why they're dangerous for women, you should understand what I'm saying. They give women a false confidence.

>defrocked for "soliciting sex during confession"

now THAT'S what i call degenerate!

>>12606749
i remember during my commie days some rich girl who was playing revolutionary in oaxaca and taught self-defense classes to mexican women ended up getting raped and murdered by a local, i was super brainwashed marxoid then but i still secretly went "womp womp" when i heard about it

>>12606775
I think these characters even cause problems on a purely social level. I occasionally hear women complaining about "rape culture" since they don't feel safe walking in parking lots at 3AM. Their expectations of reality have been distorted by these "strong female characters" which teach girls they shouldn't have anything to worry about. They expect to feel completely safe and secure at 3AM, and because they don't it upsets them more than it should.

Wednesday night I kissed the qt that I've been talking to for the first time. After the kiss and us parting ways, I was so high off life that even now I'm still mildly concerned that I just went full schizo and fantasized/dreamt that it happened or something. This week I'll kiss her again so I can remember it more clearly.

Dates with people who like reading books are fucking awesome, by the way. I don't think I've ever spent part of a date night cuddling and reading a novel before, it was comfy.

There’s this giant centipede or prawn, or a cross between the two, crawling into me head first, my legs being really wide apart to accommodate him. As he crawls into me, his thousands of fuzzy legs fall off onto the sheets around me. He tickles and excites me as he undulates and wiggles from side to side getting further and further in, and he becomes drenched with my nectar, which he licks up and is strengthened by. He goes on up and up. This all takes hours as he is ten thousand feet long, but I like every inch of it…

The next morning, happily exhausted, I begin the ritual of carefully gathering up the thousands of orange fuzzy legs that surround me, and take them in a wicker basket to the kitchen. There I dump them into my blue enamel jam making pot, and add sugar, orange peel, lemon, nutmeg, banana peel scrapings, and a bit of hash when available (very optional). At the hard-ball, or so-called crack stage of cooling, I pour the orange mass into penis-shaped molds (can be bought in your nearest sex shop), and allow them to cool and harden. To be sucked later when desired, but I usually give mine away to my friends, as the penis-shaped mold itself is far more satisfying and I share him with no one. You’d be surprised how many of my friends drop by for their sucks.

As you can tell, these aren’t things I really think about while fucking. They’re not even masturbatory fantasies, just the kind of idle daydreams I have after a bath, while I’m lying down for an hour or so, half asleep, half awake, waiting until it’s time to get dressed and go out for the evening

Something I realized:

I have to make a life for myself that’s worth living on its own merits. Paradoxically, I have to reorient my obsessive personality inward instead of finding something outside to obsess over and force to bring meaning to my life. Inside-out, rather than outside in. Meaning comes from within, not without.

The problem is, no matter how many realizations I come to, the question of "ok, now how the fuck do I implement this?" never becomes any clearer.

I thought up this poem:
To be or not to be
Said the negro to the tree

>>12586331
Propbably gonna have to list the Greek words in Derrida's Politics of Friendship. Finished the first chapter with no idea what éxis is.

Also, I'm a fucking autist and the social anxiety and panic attacks have ruined all actual and potential opportunities in my past five years which would have been the best ones. Thinking about going 80s-Foucault before my body caves in fully.

If we were choosing roles for the communist revolution I would want to be a commissar. Lifting up comrades is a noble calling. Giving the order to fire on cowering capitalists and the cucks that support them is another.

>>12603249
>see a black guy in public
guys did I just survive a knife attack?

Can a life without feelings be anything but boring? It's too late and I should just continue improving what I can do well and forget about everything else.

I can’t fucking stop myself. I have self control for everything, but not this thing. It’s worse lately. It’s on my mind. It’s in the air. Everything I read, everything I see, it all comes back down to this. I want to leave it alone forever. But even in those long silences, you still fill my mind. It has to be manufactured, it has to be meaningless. This type of eternity does not exist. Why has it gone on so long?

I think the internet is very dangerous. It might be just me but the entire internet, moreso 4chan is a simulacrum. I've become so dissociated. Goodbye friends and steady on!

>>12586331
today i was sitting at the off ramp reading jude the obscure when an old man signaled for me to approach.he gave me 2 bucks and said he read that book 50 years ago and thought it sucked.im 55 pages into the book and i think its brilliant.

Fuck