/lit/ - Literature

>at party
>reading Dubliners
>girl bothers me and asks what I'm reading
>show her book
>she says she's studying Joyce at uni
>demand that she recite all 6 of the thunder words in Finnegans Wake
>"haha I don't remember them all exactly, but the interesting thing about-"
>tell her to shut up and stop lying about reading Finnegans Wake
>"ohmygod what's wrong with you. I've read Finnegan's Wake"
>"Finnegan's Wake"
>"Finnegan's"
>" ' "
>mfw

>>12571294
lol she actually said the apostrophe? dumb broad

>at party
>ask girl what she thinks of Alan Curtis
>hypernormalization is his peak work today
>that's objectively wrong
>you don't understand the females at all, do you
Why can't I get laid like my brothers?

Cringe bread is cringe

What's your favorite Dostoevsky, /lit/? For me, it's The Possessed

>>12571444
The Big Krakatoa

>>12571444
I've yet to read him

> at party
> waddle over to stranger
> Spew cheetos on her
> WHY DON'T YOU SHARE MY EXACT INTERESTS?
> Showed her

>>12571444

my life in the bush of atheists

>>12571273
lol as if dosto isn't part of the basic bitch book reader starter pack

get some real fucking taste

>>12571481
Listen up dipshit, if you dont have anything better to do than to berate us with your snide comments then why dont you go read a fucking book maybe youll learn something.

>>12571493
I know, I don't actually read him. This is how I like to ween out the retards though.

>>12571294
Actually laughing at this, jesus crist.

>>12571273
>at party
>ask girl what she reads
>umm I love game of thrones
>ok sure, whats your favourite Deep Ecology?
>I haven't heard of him do you speak is he an environmentalist like Jill Stein or Al Gore
Why do I bother?

>>12571498
What I hear is, "Why do I hate women as much as I crave their affection?"

Maybe instead of forcing some prescriptive idea of reading on strangers, you could ask them what they're interested in? Maybe their are alternate paths to learning and experience?

Or maybe I'm wrong and you should scorn everyone that hasn't read an arbitrary list of books and assume it's 'cause they've got an innie instead of outie peepee

>>12571493
>>12571505
>being this edgy

>at museum
>ask girl what she feels
>uh it's kinda pretentious
>agree and say I prefer the old art that exhalted human beauty
>she beams and says she is a photographer and has work some she'd like to share with me
>I said art, not photography
>photography is art!
>then istagram is the Sistine Chapel
>I think I can persuade you that photography is art
>mfw

>>12571520

>xir took the bait

oof.

>>12571273
You sound autistic

>>12571444
lol! the Possessed sucks! real patricians (like myself) prefer Demons, or (at a stretch) The Devils.

>reading on the train
>qt next to me on her phone
>say to her "you may have noticed I'm reading Joyce"
>she says "what"
>I tell her Joyce is the greatest writer in the English language and how many people think the book I'm reading (Dubliners) is a collection of short stories, but it's actually a novel with the city of Dublin as the main character
>she says she's just trying to message her friend
>I say "Oh? Not boyfriend? You know, Joyce was very romantic. He told his wife in a letter that he could pick her out in a room full of farting women."
>she starts getting out of her set
>I push the book into her chest and say "Wait! Keep it!"
>the train pulls into a station and she starts leaving
>I yell out "remember that it's a novel!"
>doors close
>remember it was a library book

>>12571538

yikes!! oof. sweetie...wow.

>>12571539
I've always been a Garnettfag, no going back. I'll humbly admit it

>>12571519
>>ok sure, whats your favourite Deep Ecology?
hehehe nice

>>12571543
Made me chuckle

>at train
>ask girl what she reads
>umm I love hunger games
>ok sure, whats the best Kafka short story and why is it A Hunger Artist?
>I only read the one with the bug and eww it was desgusteng
>sentence her to death by drowning
Mfw when she jumps headfirst into the toilet

>>12571273
you're a faggot and deserve everything that's wrong with you.

>>12571273
>>ask girl what she reads
>>umm I love game of thrones
>>ok sure, whats your favourite Doestoyevsky?

>>12571667
It's obviously satire

>>12571294
>not this pic
you had one job anon

I hate newfriends so goddamn much

>>12571294
>reading cuck joyce

That girl got dicked by Blazes Boylan later that night while you fapped to netorare

>>12571493
>thatsthepoint.mp3

>>12571543
Wooooo

>>12571543
I actually read "farts leaving"

u all actually have autism

>>12571273
>sitting on the train home
>reading Fasti by Ovid
>2 african young-adults are flirting with a blonde girl in the seat in front of me
>i keep reading, really enjoying the book
>she cries for 20 minutes while they continue to flirt with her
>i finally get up to do something
>pridefully striding towards the train doors to get off
>give her a look
>mfw

>>12572587
no shit

>>12572587

>>12571273
>at party
>someone asks me what's my favourite Dostoevsky
>it's Fyodor

Going to a party to find women into literature is like going to a brothel in search of a chaste woman

>>12574366
This should be in Proverbs

>>12571294
lmao

>>12571543
I grinned

>>12571444
Ze Idiot

>>12571444
I haven't heard of him do you speak is he Russian

>>12574609
I know you are but what am i?

>>12571273
>at party
>meet German girl
>start talking about the Red Army Faction
>she says thanks for not bringing up the Nazis straight away
>show her the copy of "Faust" I happen to have on me
>she seems pleased, but eventually migrates to another sector of the party
>have to leave
>rip out the title page of "Faust" and write my phone number on it, give it to her
>she's clearly annoyed that I would deface a book, but rings me up anyway
>have whirlwind romance
>eventually her student visa runs out and she has to go back to Germany
>So ist das Leben.

>>12571533
xe*

>>12571273
>>12571294
I see these stories do not end with you getting pussy.

>finally get a netflix password from somebody
>search for godard
>nothing
>damn netflix has no french new wave?
>"oh, are you french?"
>No.

on side note who amped for that criterion collection streaming service? cant wait

>>12571273
>women
>brains

Why is this board filled with 18 year olds. Guys, women seriously don’t have interests or thoughts. This isn’t a meme. You’re only supposed to talk to women about things like cat videos and food.

>>12574960

>>12571444
War and Peace

>>12572587
Nobody can “have” autism. That just doesn’t make sense.

>>12571543

>>12574960
Reading your comment banished me to the cancer ward

>>12571294
based

>>12571444
war and peace

>>12571529
Is this secretly frogchad poster ?

>>12571273
>at party
>ask girl what she reads
>"oh I dont like riding..."

>>12571294
how do u know shes using an apostrophe when speaking?

>at bookshop
>see girl browsing the shelves
>I'm a seasoned /lit/posting veteran so I know all women are whores who don't actually read
>murder her before she can dirty me with her pleb opinions
>mfw

>>12576384
Are you autistic or just trying hard to be edgy?

>>12571444
My favorite is the idiot. I havent read any of his works tho.

>>12571543
Never gets old

>>12571444
Walt and Pisces

>be 16
>just started reading "the classics" and looking for more
>at big chain book store
>qt employee comes up to me
>"can I help you find anything?"
>"uh, I think it's called, uh...the Count of Monte Crisco"
>crisco
>she chuckles
>"I think that's over in the cookbook section."
>Realize what I said. Immediately turn beet red.
>"haha, I'm just kidding. It's by Dumas. Over here in the 'D' section."
>"t-thanks."
>when I eventually get to the counter, she is laughing and whispering something to the tall, male cashier
>he scans the book and I pay him
>as I walk away, he says, "Want any cookies to go with that?"
>run to the door in shame
>pull on the push door
>been buying from amazon ever since

>>12576461
>"I'm looking for...uh.. the Trial by Franz Costco"

>>12571294
you just stole that joke from the hemmingway greentext

>>12571340
Adam Curtis friendo

And it’s obviously Century of the Self, right?

>go to indie bookstore
>qt asks if i need help finding something
>say I'm looking for "Fixy-onays" by "George Loo-iss Borj-ez"
>she stares at me blank for the longest few seconds of my life then says "oh, FICTIONS by Bor-hays" and finds it for me

it's not that bad but my stupid ass pseudointellectual pronounciation has been haunting me for around 5 years now

>>12576469
>"Do you guys have a copy of the...uh...Kike Runner?"

>>12576544

Lol

>>12574810
>whirlwind
I liked your story, thank you

>>12576506
In your defense, argentinos do not always silence -j and -ll, and sort of pronounce a smoothed -j sound similar to French or Portuguese.

>>12574366
Where should I go to pick up girls into literature?

>>12576506
Fix-ee-o-ness by Hor-he Loo-iss Bor-hess

>>12571273
all dostoevsky retards need to leave this board

>>12576461
what the fuck is a crisco

>>12571294
>all 6 of the thunder words
Is this bait? There are ten thunderwords.

>>12577133
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crisco
Used for baking pastries.

>>12577084
the library, book clubs, writing classes, shit like that

>>12576384
Lol

>>12574349
kek. underrated post

>>12574942
whaaat? i didn't knew about this lol i want that shit now!!

>>12571520
Why are you taking any of the responses in this thread seriously? Do you actually think they happened?

>>12571273
Your biggest mistake was assuming that a girl, who just told you her favourite books were Game of Thrones, has read Doestoyevsky. This kind of social trapping doesnt make you sound smart, it just makes people think youre an asshole.

>>12576461
solution: firebomb the bookstore

>>12574609
this

>>12571529
Photography is to art what poetry is to lyrical music. Debate me.

>>12578916
Most lyrical musical that poetry like the Iliad came out of used a simple and repetitive melody.

>enter art competition in high school
>literally make a shit "abstract painting"
>enter a photo of a chicken
>talk about how they connect me to my "culture" and other dumb millennial shit
>win most prestigious high school art award in my state
>mfw

>>12578963
not being funny, you need to type that out again. I can't understand a word of it

>>12579001
The poetry that came from lyrical music is more sophisticed than the music it came from

>>12576461
>Y'all ever heard of "Don Cheese O.T.", by Cervantes? I've heard it's pretty good, but I haven't found it anywhere yet

>>12576506
It's an understandable mistake... Unlike this guy: >>12576461

>>12578966
/lit/

>>12579363
kek

>checking out ulysses
>clerk says she's heard it's a tough book
>reflexively tell her to start with dubliners
>realize how condescending and autistic that was especially considering i hadn't even read ulysses at that point

>>12576982
Thanks. If you can figure out the moral, let me know.

>>12578966
based Joyce

>buying Lovecraft's complete collection by Penguin
>cover is pic related (genuinely considered not buying it)
>cashier comments how ironic it is that Chtulhu is portrayed as a gentleman
>blurt out "that's the point"
>he stops smiling
>".. i guess, i haven't read it, i haven't even read any lovecraft"
>"why are you buying this, then"
>.. a friend recommended it"
>"and you just buy it because it's recommended?"
>"uhh yeah"
>"ok then"
>scurry off

i don't even have friends to recommend me books, i just bought it because of /lit/ meming
nowadays I only buy through amazon

>>12580063

>>12576461
>>as I walk away, he says, "Want any cookies to go with that?"
>>run to the door in shame
damn dude you should have gone back and showed her how the customer is always right
can't let them smart mouth you like that

>>12578814
they reflect your weirdo incel mindset

>>12579406
fuck

>>12580260
Yeah, but I dont think that way. Just admit that you were fooled by obviously satirical posts and responded to it with sincerity because you're a retard

>>12571294
>at party
>reading Dubliners
>at party

>>12571650
Why is kafka so painfully boring? Is it because I'm reading him in translation?

>on the bus
>woman sits in front of me and has bag from large bookstore with item inside
>she takes the book out of the bag, takes her phone and takes a few photos of several pages
>she puts the book back in the bag and places at her feet
>she pulls out her phone and starts reading the photos she took

this happened literally hours ago

>>12574810
Better than OP's

>>12580758
kek, Im choosing to believe this one is real

>>12580063
> why are buying something you haven't read
to read it maybe?

>>12580764
You have my word brother, it happened