/lit/ - Literature

>>12533207

>>12533207
>tfw can't read it

nice attempt at a hook but do u really need a hook to get your gf to read a letter from you? but even with the aggressive hook the penship is too shitty for me to bother reading more

>>12533211
She lives across the country, also I always thought my writing was somewhat neat, but thank you, it took a bit to think of a good one.

>>12533210
Is my writing that bad? Or is the picture quality bad?

>>12533225
Also, whoops read that wrong. No, I just thought it was a good way to start.

it looks like you learned cursive in elementary school and haven't used it since

>>12533260
Appreciate the insight, I use cursive for all my writings, thank you though.

Arighty, I apologize for my shit writing, I was never told I scribble like a 3 year old before today, lets give this another shot.

>>12533207
>>12533209
>>12533314
The fact you start off with ‘I don’t love you’ and then go on to describe your past relationships gives the whole letter a sour note, almost like a kind of emotional coercion to make her keep reading. Feels like something a killer would write. Depending on your relationship, maybe you don’t shy away from dark feelings in one another’s company, but given the naïveté you describe in the letter (as well as the sentimental cliched grovelling before your current partner, muh lightyears) and the fact that the average woman would probably find this disturbing and upsetting, I think you should rethink this. Maybe she’d find it sweet, I don’t know, I’m a faggot, I’m not as privy to the psychology of women. It’s your gf. But the you’re asking for advice means you’re unsure about it.

You also speculate on the psychological impact of both of your parents divorcing. Is this stuff you regularly talk about with your girlfriend or are you communicating these ruminations for the first time? I get the feeling (I could be wrong) you and your gf don’t talk about this kinda stuff regularly and so to express that in writing has a emotionally meaningful dimension for you personally, like a confessional or something.

>she lives across the country
Oh no no no no!! Is this an online relationship or have you guys met and it’s just long distance at the moment?

>>12533380
I've known her for long, and well enough to where I think she'll appreciate it, I couldn't imagine her seeing it as creepy. I was mostly asking for wording advice and if everything flowed well, I'm good at putting my feelings on paper, but I'm not very grammatically sound when it comes down to it.

On that part you may be right, we don't often talk about that part of out lives, and I may remove it, but on the other hand I want those parts of our lives to be more open, so I'll think about whether to leave it or not.

And no, we've met many times, it's just long distance at the moment.

>>12533232
Your handwriting is fine. Millennials are no longer taught to write cursive, so they're forgetting how to read it, too.

>>12533207
>>12533209
>You write her a love note
>Chad ejaculates down her throat

>>12533433
Thank you, I used to receive compliments on my writing when I was in uni, so I was surprised that they said it was unreadable.

>>12533440
Nah, she wouldn't do that. Sorry for your experiences with shitty women bro

I feel it's lifeless, emotionless. The writing is good, though, nothing to be changed.

>>12533465
How would you recommend I put life or emotion into it? Better choice of what words? It's important that it sounds emotional, so if it can't be changed, should I just scrap it?

>>12533380
Dif anon
This is a frighteningly just assessment. It isn't wise to become both analyst and analysand in any written personal communication, OP, but especially not in a love letter.
I think it's wisest to write about almost nothing --perhaps about the walk (you) took this evening, or about the mundanity of your day, -the things noticed, what they brought to mind, some silly idea or common remembrance or other, etc.
And implicit in everything written will be the communicated feeling that your thoughts have turned toward her, that she is missed and that (you) care.
Iow's write modestly, simply and beautifully, and instead of losing yourself in abstract analyses be (physically) descriptive.

>>12533210
this

i took cursive in grade school years ago, but i take one look at that shit and decide it's too much effort to decipher

your girl will probably think the same. just get her a liquor store gift card and fuck her good on valentines day

>>12533207
Fix your capital i, it's identical to your d

>>12533433
>>12533207
The handwriting is atrocious and hardly readable, 3specially the capitals.. The man can't draw a straight line to save his life (or his relationship). I was educated in the 80's in Eastern Europe--we got smacked over the head and hands if we didn't write well. And we were only taught cursive and cursive alone.

>>12533314
> 95% of love note consists of whining about ex-girlfriends and divorced parents
hmmmm

>>12533433
>>12533207
>>12533209
The handwriting is atrocious and hardly readable, especially the capitals: it's all curvy curlicues and loose-handed loops. The man can't draw a straight line to save his life (or his relationship). I was educated in the 80's in Eastern Europe--we got smacked over the head and hands if we didn't write well. And we were only taught cursive and cursive alone. This is bad cursive.

>>12533207
>>12533209
>>12533314
Cringe
>>12533380
>>12533522
Based

>>12533683
>we got smacked over the head and hands
what the hell man, that's child abuse

Op does not know that women read these pathetic love letters to their friends and then laugh at you for being a corny cuck

>>12533462
>used to receive compliments on my writing when I was in uni
From equally uneducated Americans, yes.
>>12533462
Youth is truly a drug; but who wouldn't have more?

>>12533433
Yes, this is a little difficult to read, this is bad cursive. The ultimate aim of cursive is legibility and beauty, both of which you haven't achieved. Although you are probably a god by Amerimutt standards.

>>12533314
Psycho alert, wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves you after reading that

>>12533689
I lived under a North Korea-like dictatorship for a decade: that wasn't usually the worst part of my day.

>>12533314
Really bad way to start this off. Your love letter should not be plotted like a fucking mystery thriller.

>>12533207
>>12533209
tldr

>>12533207
Add a t to the end of your though in the first part. It's kind of clinical which is weird for a love letter, but I didn't think it was that bad.

I don’t really have the time to read it, but for what it’s worth, I like your handwriting

>>12533314
>wards
this meant to be in a boston accent?

>>12533207
This looks just like my handwriting!

>>12533207
>>12533209

This sucks.
>I love you couldn't begin to describe my love

Wow....

>paper so cheap you can see the writing marked on the other side

>>12533207

>>12533207
cool, but you don´t have a gf

my exgf wrote me love letters and cards every month and they were basically the same thing rehashed every time, it was cute

>>12533314
This is b8. There is no fucking way a person can be this stupid. Bringing up how her parents got fucking divorced was a really nice touch.

>>12533314
>I don’t love you
>talking about prior relationships
That’s a yikes

>will you love me 4ever
>NO
>i will love you 5ever

you know your love letter is a meme right?

I also like how there isn't even a payoff to the shitty 'I don't love you' hook. There is absolutely nothing clever about it, it serves no purpose other than to be a meme. It actually makes the writer seem really insecure, as if his gf wouldn't even read the letter if she wasn't captivated by the first sentence.

Don't talk about past relationships or even any other women so much. It isn't romantic and it doesn't make her feel special. You should try and show that you and she are the only people worthy of words and everyone else you've loved are hazy memories glimpsed only as shadows on the brilliant light that she illuminates your life with.

>>12535074
And, as 20 people already said, don't use the gimmicky hook and convoluted reasoning to explain why you love her. Being direct and saying her curvacious arse and cute jokes make you lust for life is just much more sincere and refreshing.

>>12533210
That’s because you’re a nigger

reading this made me so greatful that im dating a dyslexic who never went to college

buy her a bag of skittles instead OP

This shit is so gay. God it's bad. You must be like 16? There's no way you're actually this attached to your fucking long distance relationship, so stop lying to her and overdramatizing. The only real personal value the letter has is reminding her of her parents divorce, which is no big deal, so harden the fuck up.

Probably don't open with "I don't love you."

just write something simple and affectionate you massive autist

No problem reading your writing. But I'm old so I know cursive. As for the content, well . . . I wouldn't write something like this, but that's me. And maybe if I DID write something like this occasionally I wouldn't leave my girlfriends feeling so uncertain about my feelings. So, good luck!

>she

>>12533207
>I don't love you

>>12533207
really cute - i wish i was ur gf

Honestly what the fuck is wrong with you. This is literally 50% about your past relationships, do you really think she's gonna like it?

>>12533210
> i love you so much i love you billions and millions more bla bla bla a small fraction of how i truly feel bla
Sickening

>>12533207
>starts with "I don't love you"

Literally the dumbest thing in the world unless you're an uber edgelord like Celine

>>12533210
>>12533577
You guys know ability to read and write cursive is an index for success in later life?

OP you've got above-average handwriting; not bad at all. I don't much like your letter. If you're going to stick with that conceit, at least don't beat around the bush so much. She doesn't want to hear about those other girls. Now that you've written it all out, write down on a separate piece of paper the essence of what you're trying to say. Which might be,
"Past experience has cheapened the word 'love' for me. What I feel for you is richness beyond those stale words."
Then do a complete re-write.
Also google Liu Xiaobo's letters to his wife.

>>12533314

jesus christ man this is so fucking cringe

do you have any clue how to interact with other human beings? you know that girls are just other human beings, yeah?

seriously man this is some incel level shit. is your gf an autistic mcfatty? yes? yeah then cool you're good.

Your penmanship is fine OP.
>>12533380
Is correct though.

Lotta salty virgins ITT.

>>12533207
Massive faggot alert

>starting a love letter with I don’t love you
Top autism m8
>long distance
NO NO NO NO NO enjoy your “gf” getting blacked on the regular, my cuck boi

>>12533678
This, OP, don't fucking do this. Talk about HER. It's a letter about HER, not about (you).
>>12533471
Write from the fucking heart and stop putting so much thought into it. The hook is shit and the explanation is rambling and borderline incoherent. Pour your actual thoughts and emotions onto the paper, then go back and pretty it up later. Your sentiments are bad and the letter rambles far too much. You're trying to tell a girl how much LOVE you feel for her, not explain every bad experience you've ever had with relationships in the past. Tell her how much you love her, how much she means to you, what specifically you love about her, what she makes you feel in detail. You need to scrap the entire thing you've written so far and start over.

>>12533207
>I don't love you
Too edgy. Tone it down.

>>12533314
So, I head you don't have a girlfriend? Welcome to the club.

>>12533207
read Jane Austen, any, and write a new letter without any of those words

>>12537693
>You guys know ability to read and write cursive is an index for success in later life?
Thanks for the KEK anon

>>12533314
dude tell youre GIRLFRIEND you LOVE her on VALENTINES DAY do you have autism like bruh moment

>>12533314
also second bruh moment is that this is supr self absorbed, is this bait? like even after you compliment her you tell her how YOU feel about it "I," "I," "I." Stop man this sucks secondary bruh moement

>>12533207
cuckold shit really. if you cant tell a girl how much you wuv her in person you aren't old enough to have sex

>>12533207
You could fix the opening simply by changing "I don't love you" to "I don't "love you""

>>12533314
I had to laugh out loud while reading this crap. How autistic are you? Even I, an incel, know that you made every mistake imaginable in this letter. 75% of your letter is about your past relationships and about the failed love of her parents. This is terrible.

But, I like your beginning: "I don't love you". It catches her attention and she will read the letter thoroughly. It's also not a bad idea to say that she is your first true love, but unfortunately it just seems like you're talking about your ex girlfriends. The message is not clear.
If you want to I can rewrite the letter

>>12539772
based incel

Red Pill here. Please do not give that to her. The amount of cringe that will happen in her mind, and the amount of attraction she will lose for you is much more than you're expecting. I know this is /lit/, but when dealing with women, less is more. Less words mean more. Maybe a sentence or two would be fine. Always say less than necessary.

>>12539789
I just took a shower and thought about what I would write in a love letter if I had a gf and my mind went crazy. I'm writing it down right now for my future gf. I don't know what title I will give it. Maybe "a grey man in a grey world" or "a break in time and space".

>>12533207
Just write "ayy gurl r u a beaver, cuz dam" and she'll be all over you. Keep It Simple, Stupid. Spray that shit with some cologne or cum on it idk

>>12533207
The penmanship is actually very good. Most people here just aren't used to reading cursive. Don't get too hung up on it

>>12539813
This man speaks the truth.