/lit/ - Literature

>>12471650
The postmodern meltdown of culture into the economy is triggered by the fractal interlock of commoditization and computers: a transscalar entropy-dissipation from international trade to market-oriented software that thaws out competitve dynamics from the cryonics-bank of modernist corporatism. Commerce re-implements space inside itself, assembling a universe exhaustively immanent to cybercaptial functionality. Neoclassical (equilibrium) economics is subsumed into computer-based nonequilibrium market escalations, themed by artificial agencies, imperfect information, sub-optimal solutions, lock-in, increasing returns, and convergence. As digitally micro-tuned market metaprograms mesh with techoscientific soft engineering positive nonlinearity rages through the machines. Cyclonic torsion moans.

Hello my name is John and I hate every single one of you faggots

Good afternoon cunts. I am normal. I will not rape you.

>>12471650
>Fuck the patriarchy
>Looking for a sugar daddy

>>12471695
yeah, weird, it's like that's the apparent cog-dis was the reason someone capped the image

>>12471650
Interests: Kevin MacDonald, Pentti Linkola, Julius Evola, Juan Posadas, Donald Trump, Marquis de Sade

>>12471650
make it funny but true.

I have a full shelf devoted to JK Rowling with end caps of John Green classics, but I also enjoy weighty works by masters such as Douglass Adams and Stephen King.

88% right swipe ratio right there

Online dating is despair

I hate my fucking life

>>12472246
i don't get it

>>12472290
which would you prefer anon?

>>12472292
neither appeal, afraid to say.
i imagine most reply--assuming they do reply--with pirate, as it suggests 'adventure' and some other stereotypical lures of enchantment and whatever
but i feel like the reality of it is a lot more grim
like, dysentery and desperation kinda grim

>>12472172
unless shes being literal

>>12472246
terrible profile

>>12472211
idk if anyone would argue that Adams is anything other than just a really funny writer

>>12472315
she's not
most people are more canny than they might seem

How do you make a "good profile" on bumble/tinder if you don't look like a male model

>>12472309
yeah well the average woman on tinder where im from is only interested in fraternity date parties. i dont know why i have the app, perhaps to just marvel at their bodies.

other bios ive had:
“6’3” in Timbs”
“Nigger”
“A recent beer fire left me permanently scarred and bald on my face and head”
“Would you want that i should throw my fuck into you?”
“skater/teen”
“i only eat beef and i only drink water”

ive had great success with the 6.5-7/10 tier women, my particular range of attraction

>>12472332
Date in your league

>>12472335
Эй вы пятepo, идитe cюдa чeтвepo, eщe paз вac тpoих yвижy, двoим пизды дaм , пoнял кoзeл?

Oдeнь шaпкy нaхyй, a тo yши зaмepзнyт.

Фapтy мacтy, мycopaм пo пacти! /Жизнь вopaм! AУE!

>>12472337
even 30 y.o. single mothers and overweight women dont match with me. "Dude just lower your standards bro" is meme advice and it doesn't work after a certain point.

>>12472343
help me out

>>12472332
anon chances are you aren't that bad looking.

Imma keep it a hunnid with you, I'm a black male. 6'0" pretty average looking but I'm in a major liberal city. I am by no means a model but I ain't butt ugly either. if you are a decent looking white dude you can def pull way more than me and if you aren't work on that. shit, work out, drink more water, etc.

that being said tinder is dumb easy to get laid off of. Also Bumble is for vapid NPC's who think their job is a personality trait. Don't use selfies. No shirtless pics. No pics with other girls. No pics with friends who look better than you. don't put too much thought into your bio. make it short and sweet.

now if you leave in a shitty area with little to no girls on tinder well then either move or deal with the deck you've been given

>>12472352
hey you, yeah, five of you, come here, four of you, I see three of you once again I'm going to beat the shit out of you, understand me, you fuckhead

Put on your hat or your ears will freeze

Great luck to all the tough guys, cops get fucked over, freedom and prosperity to all the thieves!

>>12472367
>now if you leave

if you live*

>>12472344
I might like you

>>12472369
ok

this is the perfect thread where i can dump screenshots of girls tinder bios/profiles i have come across.

>>12472386
i want to smash her fucking face into pieces

>>12472389
ok calm down ted bundy

>>12472391
>says she's underage
>asking for drugs
>not a cop

lolll

>>12472391
based Sam 'actually 17' 18

Ehat’s her favorite book, /lit/?

>>12472393
ten bucks she has a wonky eye, and her tits have fucking moles on them

wait for the bio

>>12472406

>>12472408
dawg lmaooo... i commend you for doing that but damn.

>>12472369
i do not understood slavic humor

>>12472408

>>12472412
Hnnng

>>12472408
appreciate your commitment

>>12472409
>graduate student

guarantee she's collecting alt-right wanker messages for a new "fedora's of tumblr" type take down blog

>>12472414
it's prison slang

>>12472436
yuck

>>12472435
hey man, that's a sweet spot to be in

>>12472439

>>12472447
nice!

>>12472445
not if you saw what she looked like.

not a brap hog but a fat hog. no i dont have pics of her.

>>12472445
Enjoy your hpv.

>>12472454
what is this a 2 for 1

does anybody remember this chick? lol a quick google search will refresh your memory.

/lit/'s new queen?

>>12472455
never had an std
never used a condom, either
spin. the. wheel.

>>12472464
i'm pretty sure i saw the video of her alleged rap on xvideos, she fucking recorded it! it was just like she described it, except she was encouraging the dude to fuck her and put it in her ass, and it was recorded from some shitty webcam that was up in the corner of the room on a shelf or something, hopefully that dude will find out she revenge porned him and sue her again

>>12472467
I wish I could be like you. I'm attractive enough, and not spergy enough to get laid regularly but I'm a bit of a germaphobe.

>>12471650
>>What should the first line be? How do you grab attention and maintain it?
dick: as large as my bank account
bank account: how much I bench + half a dozen zeros

will happily bench you as evidence

>>12472412
would get gonorrhea from/10

>>12472470
yup that's her. oddly enough I matched with her younger sister a few years ago when she was going to NYU. Never went on a date tho.

(i deleted the post it bc i felt like it)

>>12472406
>>12472403
best bitches ITT

>>12471675
#1 in the thread, by my estimation

/lit/'s favorite

>>12472488
bro i have so many screen shots of hot bitches whew. you don't even knowwwww

>>12472445
Yeah, dang 'ol, hey man, dang that's a dang ol' sweet spot to be in heyyyyuh.

>>12472466
Damn when I think about Harvard grad students I don't imagine them with that basic of an interest set. For some reason in my mind they all go on The Hunt and track down poor people in the woods or fuckin' row or some shit. I didn't realize the amount of midwest stripmall in Ivy institutions.

>>12472508
you're thinking about harvard undergrad students with parent's who are alumni.

>>12472516

>>12472409
honeypot

>>12472503
do you, like, bite your thumb at me?

prime braphog

>>12472519
>half American

>>12472522
Huh, yeah you're dang ol' goddamn right man damn.

>>12472496
post 'em all

>>12472516
You sure? Who not of that bubble goes to harvard for grad school?

>literary scout

>>12471650

I cant take it anymore.

Thots and vulgar white women in open relationships. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Give it up let the Chinese roll over us and rape us to death

brain to big for internet dating i just want to die

>>12472466
>teaching at Harvard
>YA fiction
why are women like this

>>12472246
>stan smiths
>cuffed pants

>>12472544
don't bother with small talk nigga. Im serious. just ask her out for a drink or dinner. We all already waste enough time swiping on these godforsaken apps. don't carry out conversation on them. Ask for her number and set up a date so you can meet in person.

>>12472391
super like that shit

>>12472564
yeah dude i'm gonna superlike a girl because you told me to when that screenshot is from over a year ago.

dumb fuck.

>>12472435
>don’t waste my time
the nerve

>>12472567
glad you signed your post

>>12472352
Is this Finnegans Wake?

>>12472502

>>12471650
"I like to say my interests include literature, philosophy and indie music but in reality I just sit in my room watching anime all day"
it's funny because it's true

>>12473261
milkies?

>>12472344
maybe stopt acting like prentious pseud?
women like confidence but there is a fine line between being confidant and being a prentious twat.

or maybe you're obese i don't know anon i'm just guessing here

>lamenting that there are no decent women based on the ones you find in swipe-to-fuck mobile app
Why do you torture yourselves?

>>12472344
Truth. Mainly Because both men and women overestimate their position in the sociosexual hierarchy.

>>12471650
I just ask em if they are real
works everytime
but maybe that's because i have feminine eyes and an awesome jawline

>>12472544
holy shit

>>12472428
Patrician
Also definitely 100% British Isles

mine is
>Love Seinfeld
>Love cricket
>Simples

>>12472379
>might

>>12473289
I'm not obese or "a pretentious pseud". I'm too blue collar to be "pretentious" or "pseud". You're just making baseless assumptions because my situation isn't compatible with your just-world-fallacy perspective on life.

>>12472367
online dating is ezmode if you're a black dude though. Also
>dont use selfies
What?

>>12471650
>the absolute state of thots and this board in 2019
I used tinder one time like four years ago. Never messaged anyone. The first girl who messaged me wanted to fuck. I turned her down because she's a random member of the shallow brainlet public and his vag is probably a den of STDs.

Sex. Never again.

erm *her vag

men don't have vaginas. not even the mentally ill ones who mutilate themselves.

>>12473235

R8 my tinder bio, /lit/

Got a date this weekend and I'm talking to a couple other girls, but I seek validation from the internet strangers I shitpost about books with

I used to get absolute trash matches but I got some actual model tier pics that make me look good. Gonna post a few. Keep in mind Im a total sperg and I have no social skills so I fuck very few, also a manlet. 1/3

Also dudes, being able to shitpost well is actually great for art hoes. You’d be amazed how many girls are just on there to kill time and will say weird shit to throw dudes off, but if you roll with it and shitpost back and close it off with some thinly veiled sexual stuff you’re golden.

>>12473442
Posting screenshots of actual non-anonymous profiles is pretty low.

Please have some respect for people. Would you want your profile posted on a forum?

>>12471663
>lol no one responds to an intelligent post because readers are boars
You missed that decision making has ALWAYS been a nonlinearity. Check out "Amusing Ourselves to Death," the entropy that slowly douses the capitalistic commodity orgy into a disparite inverted panopticon of noise and mirrors, is actually a result of the medium, and not a result of the algorithms. The algorithms exist because of the medium, id est the hyper-optimization, personalization, and solipsistic-indulgence that definces the techno-era. The issue with this, is that now our socius is swallowed in a sea of commodity fetishisms that mimic the forum of people, the terror is that we will not turn into ads, but products to others as well as to ourselves

>>12473449
i'm not scumbaganon, but do you really think tinder users are people? this entire thread needs to be removed and screenshot posters put to death for their degeneracy.

>>12473449
man are you fucking stupid
tinder is a public space. You're signing away your anonymity by going on that app.
Fuck off.

>>12473427
>You now
It is 'know'

As for bios, keep it short and sweet. Funnier and more sexual the better, but sometimes its too much. The sexuality has to be balanced with some humor. Dont try to be artsy or interesting(though if you have an interesting profession like a pro athlete put it in the job section), most girls will not bother reading your long ass bio. So some kind of sex joke might be your best bet, it hints you have a sense of humor, are comfortable getting sexual, and you’re upfront with what you want.

>>12473281
yes mine would be something like this
'Identify as philosopher, mystic, friend to extraterrestrials and female humans alike; only activity is 4chan'

>>12473449
Shit gets posted on reddit all the time. Like another anon said, its a public place and many will even link their instagrams. They get dick pics all the time and get dudes looking through their instas off tinder all the time. The amount of eye traffic is miniscule compared to that on tinder.

>>12473412
see you on /r9k/ fren

>>12473458
I think it's indecent and slightly cruel to post profiles of real people as has been done in this thread.

It's like posting screenshots of Facebook profiles. When you make a public profile you don't sign up for having it reposted to a forum where people can anonymously discuss your actual information.

Just think about it man, would you want some anon to post your sister's Tinder, for example, or your Facebook etc.? Then grant others that same respect.

>>12473453
Note everyone in this thread. They're sheep. They're becoming marketers, PR, Editors, photographers, trainers, and engineers of their own love life. It's disgusting and something that is a VERY sensitive apparatus developed via millenia of evolvutionary practices, the dating practice is implicit, subtle, and at the very most basic level, human. Tinder isn't the evil, nor is social media, it's the weakness we all have and suffer from, and the availability of an escape

>>12473453
like there's something in what you say and I think there's an optimistic side to it that you could add to do with the soaring potential that sheer quantity winds up capital like a spring

>>12473477
>other people are bad so I can be bad top

Come on man, that's a teenager's sort of shit attitude.

>>12473479
You sign up at your own risk and many will freely hand out their snapchat and instagram on their profiles. What exactly makes this different from her being on tinder and friends showing each other her picture? Now times that by 1000 for tinder. This is actually not as big a deal as you make it out to be. People dont really mind, and /lit/‘s a mature enough board. Quit whiteknighting for chicks who dont actually care.

>>12473427
>self-deprecating
nobody is into that shit, it's not funny - it's just pathetic
don't be like that, women hate that

>>12473504
If you were to ask these people if they are okay with being posted here, you suppose they would on the whole agree? Of course not.

This culture of showing other profiles, screencaps of conversations, making crude comments about others etc. is extremely immature and even base. People who carry on like this deprive themselves of the ability to love and insult their own humanity.

And this has fuck all to do with literature. This is a ridiculous and shameful thread.

>>12473537

>>12473541

>>12472508
If it's any comfort, I'm a Harvard grad student and have been rowing since I was 11. Come with the whole stereotypical Connecticut financial industry family background too. At this point I've accepted that I'm a living cliche.

Not sure what to think about my sport being categorized alongside hunting poors for a laugh and/or sexual pleasure though.

>>12473545

>>12472211
4/4 white and 3/4 male, try again sweatie.

>>12473551
what you in grad school for anon?

>>12473555

>>12473527
I like you moral namefag. Good lad.

>>12473537
kek a literal drug dealer. i'm sure she is fine with having her contact info shared to potential customers.

>>12473527
You are correct. Everyone's just looking for validation from the group, because they are all terribly insecure and don't know if they're doing the correct thing with their lives. however, in the course of looking for approval, they are making more mistakes about what is right and correct for them.

however, I believe this is all part of some sort of phase that society must go through so that we can eventually satisfy ourselves about the emptiness of it

>>12473579
too good to be true

Love to laugh. Passions are shopping and being gorgeous. Don't swipe right if you're under 6'2. Don't know why tinder thinks I'm 24, I'm actually 32. Music is my life. Don't ask me on a date if you're poor. If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Also my son Chris is the most important man in my life.

>>12473459
>warning you know
Anon we need to talk about your grasp of the English language
>>12473507
Is it self deprecating if it's true? I'm a boring guy looking for a boring girl. And it's working well enough so far.

>>12473629
>Is it self deprecating if it's true? I'm a boring guy looking for a boring girl. And it's working well enough so far.
well in that case, sad to be you!

>>12473625
Are you literally every female on tinder?

>>12473579
>Sapiosexual
yikes

>>12473632
From your perspective, maybe. I'm content with where I am, and I feel bad for people who dont know how to find fulfillment in whatever situation they wind up in.

>>12471663
What are you reading now anon?

>>12472568
wife material

>>12472580
what country is that, fucking Montenegro?

>>12473527
Thank you.

>>12472246
>sitting next to a bear...
sure you don’t want Grindr profile lad?

>>12472519
This timeline disgusts me

>>12473416
based

>>12473281
should have clarified that this is actually my bio and it works ok
a bio should ideally communicate your interests and sense of humour, unless you're just looking for one night stands

>>12472555
I hate cuffed pants. Look like shit.

>>12473281
What if I have no sense of humor?

>>12474660
if you haven't at least learned some shitpost-style humour from 4chan you're beyond hope

>>12473579
> Celeritas
> CELERITAS

>>12473579
>Sapiosexual
is this the most pretentious midwit trait?

>>12472491
She cute

>>12473341
thanks, i fucking love redheads.

>>12473386
>online dating is ezmode if you're a black dude though.

That's not true exactly. Dating apps/sites unless we are talking about blackpeoplemeet, are catered to the white man and I ain't mad about it, I just adapt to the situation. Also its still all dependent on how you look and how confident you are and like I said Im pretty average looking but just exude confidence

and when I said don't use selfies, I mean it. its a turn off to women.

>>12474954
unfortunately we didn't match

>>12474345
are you retarded?

>>12475190
shut up Europoor

>>12475172
Blackmen are stereotyped (on average) as having more confidence though. Even if it's just arrogance being conflated with confidence.

>and when I said don't use selfies, I mean it. its a turn off to women.
So then what the fuck do I use/do, mr kang

>>12472412
ask her how she feels about Sniff-play

>>12474345
Madurozuela

>>12475211
> Blackmen are stereotyped (on average) as having more confidence though. Even if it's just arrogance being conflated with confidence.

what point of these apps being catered to white people do you not understand. I have a white homie. he's like 5'7, hes p good looking and gets a stupid amount of matches. Would prob be more if he was taller. I also take candid pics of him sometimes that would make a good photo for tinder, or just for posting on instagram or whatever. White people are the default setting and you need to get that in your head. Like I said, start treating your body/skin better if you aren't already.

>So then what the fuck do I use/do

Assuming you have a friends, get them to take photos of you. Whether its staged or candid photo.

>>12475243
thats a fucking screenshot of a girl i just saw on tinder from months ago that I didn't match with, you horny retard

>>12471650

>>12475306
>Kike

>>12475312
Should I marry her bros?

>>12475312
>>12475323
no because she is on bumble
is a reactionary cuck
lives in the West Village

>>12473305
This. I totally overestimate myself. Sometimes I catch myself doing it and get a good, melancholly laugh out of it.

>>12475172
You a London nigga?

Mine is "There's an Every Flavour Bean that tastes like cum and you know it". coz bitches love hp n shiet.

>>12475408
Nope, I live in New England. But close enough to NYC to get all the baddies on tinder.

>>12475420
Oh, apologies, thought you were a black dude from my ends, so couldn't understand why you would speak like a nigger in writing. But you're American, so I guess you have to 'rep the culture, otherwise you get hung for treason.

>>12475441
Shouldnt you be busy serving Ahmed at Nandos?

>>12472580
horrendous profile.

I watch cabin building videos on Youtube.
Learning to bake bread.

>>12471650
>six foot two
>ten inches hard

>>12475420
Cute, but gross tattoos

>tinder

>>12472428
>>12472567
>>12472573
>>12473432
>>12473462
I have a beautiful, smart, loving gf who cooks for me, reads, discusses literature with me, and says she wants my white babies...but these women are quite fine. I really wish I didn't want to do anything with them but damn.

>>12475312
Post pic

>>12473545
one should say: AYYYYYY CAN I GET DAT KEY??

>>12475183
BRAAAAAAPPP

>>12472180
Yeah, I'm thinking he's based

>>12472393
>I don't date white boys

Why is this a thing?

>>12475306
What's your race ratio for matches? Are they mostly black girls? Are you fetishized often?

>>12475848
>Why is this a thing?
daddy issues, fucked up fetishism, racism, low IQ. read her name, look at her face: she's obviously a wreck.

>>12471667
I used the whole copypasta actually and was banned within a week.

>>12472332
Do you have access to a dog?
It doesn’t have to be yours, it just has to not bite your face off in the time it takes to get a picture with it.
Dog pics are unironiclly a huge foot in the door on tinder. I guarantee it’ll boost your matches

>>12471663
Good choice.