/lit/ - Literature

Sometimes I look at people and I wonder what their skulls look like.

Does anyone else ever feel like it's easier to do something 'for' someone else, than to do it 'for' yourself?

>>12391225
Corsets are like that.
>>12391222
Sometimes I ask people if I can feel their skulls. Quite a few say yes, more than have given me money on request.

I had a dream that I killed myself, and I went to purgatory.

But being in purgatory meant coming back a ghost and being forced to watch everybody be miserable in the wake. And I couldn't apologize.

>>12391192
>tfw no franco-german upper class milf gf to discuss schopenhauer with
why even live?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-917tb7A6A

This past year i've felt almost "torn" about myself, and i've come to realize why that is. Its because i'm not torn, but i should be.
I'm 20 and i've been a NEET since i was 16, my 14 year old brother has a better education than me, i have ADD and i'm socially retarded plus im a KHV. But the thing is, i dont really care about it, i enjoy life, i enjoy feeling bad for myself, i enjoy "wasting" my youth.

Its a bizarre feeling, but i like it!

I'm writing this story on True love, not because it's a good story but because I'm so love starved, I have to tell myself a story to convince myself love is real.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, the darkness wins - and you become a person you grew out of, and in that moment you sometimes see how far you have came.

In search of being something you once had never been.

>>12391257
let me guess.
no or very weak fatherpersona in your life?

>>12391283
nah, love my dad. Great man

>>12391294
ah ok.
good for you.
i was about to start to project.

>>12391297
hehe, i mean if im honest hes kinda "beta" for le epic 4chan standars but i dont care about those trash memes, i look up to him, he raised me and have me food on the table.

Have you made somebody smile today?

If I write a story that isn't true to myself, will it be more likely to fail?

I'm going to be honest, I'm writing with the goal of recognition and I'm not sure the story I would write will get me there. The real me would write superficial spectacle, but I have to give depth

limbaugh > rimbaud

Future Days is so good I’ve been listening to it for hours today. I think the germ of lifting is growing on me, so that’s good.

>>12391434
I don’t leave my house

>>12391192
I feel like /lit/ is only peripherally interested in books, but I don’t really have a community of people who are like me. I work at the literary journal that my school runs, and even there it is a challenge for me to connect with people. Everyone tends to read very contemporary lit, which isn’t really my style (though perhaps it should be and I’m being close-minded). My peers stories are generally all very autobiographical and seem very limited, usually about college, some traumatic childhood event thinly veiled as fiction, or a breakup. I wrote a story like that once but I don’t really like being so transparently confessional in my writing, it annoys me, maybe why I can’t get into Proust. I’m working on my first longer work of fiction, which will probably only end up being a novella. It’s slow going and I avoid it more than I write it, but the outline is good, and what I’ve written so far concerning some pivotal scenes has been satisfying for me, I feel like I could have some work I’m proud of. My New Years resolution is to write more and read more, and try to be more humble.

Today, I am pleased that Fate chose the city of Braunau on the Inn of Northern Austria as my birthplace.

Is teaching a bad field to get into

>>12391279
Feeling this one.
Today I felt the same way as when I was 13, for a while, then it passed, then I realized how much more desensitized and able to swim through life I am.

Life is going too fast.

I would be reasonably well read if it weren't for a single ridiculous jealous asshole worthless piece of shit

My mind is alone now. But somehow it's for the best. I can only handle people at arm's reach. As soon as I get close I hurt people. I wish I didn't and I think I know what that makes me, but it's odd to think that for the rest of my life it's better to keep people at arm's length, and to keep everyone else out of my head... Ouch. But a solemn ouch, a quiet ouch. It just feels cold again. It's a familiar misery and that feels oddly nostalgic. I feel like I have come a full circle.

I want success more than virtue. I want my intelligence back more than I want to be a good person. I'd bathe the world in blood, I'd burn children alive or skin them alive if it meant I could have back what I've lost. Just what I've lost, and nothing more. Just what was stolen from me. It will never happen. It will never even be recorded or understood. History has forgotten my injuries.

They're laughing at me. They're calling me a liar. They didn't even bother trying to reconstruct things correctly. It's all wrong.

It's a farce. Nothing about it is realistic. They made a point of misinterpreting me in the least charitable and least coherent way, of making my very existence into a reduction ad absurdum of itself. They're monsters.

I'm not even the same person. I wonder what other false replicas are burning in hells they never earned through real actions

I could sense myself crowning and, casting a hopeful glance in her direction wondered if she could possibly go for a good Cleveland Steamer.

Should I give a shit what people on the internet think about me?

i just watched that han solo movie, it's quite a shame that it's the first star wars movie to lose money, considering it's the best one made since the original 3, rogue one was shit, and the main story ones are so hokey, they remind me of how bands that stayed together too long become imitations of themselves like rhcp etc. but solo actually had that authentic star wars feel idk

>>12391309
God I love seeing this kinda shit. I’m glad to hear that man, really.

I hate sex and anyone whose mind is preoccupied by sex

>>12391828
Damn aren’t you fun

I am glad my mother has lewy body dementia and I hope she lives a long and miserable life. Long enough for a cure for her condition to become available even, but just too short for her to be able to afford it.

I hope she signs up for countless medical experiments and all of them are failures

Crossing the street just now I realized how easy it would be just to step in front of a truck. It's scary. I could see it all in my mind clear as day. I could feel my bones break and skull crack open on the asphalt.

>>12391192
From a thread about moral dilemma books earlier:

Q: How is it complex? Choosing to kill the individual makes you a murderer. letting the five die leaves you a bystander

A: Objectively, it is less moral to let more people die. While the situation is not caused by you, there is a certain societal standard for responsibility that demands you do what is best for the species. The “grey area” of killing one to save many is not really grey at all, it’s a necessity brought about by your implicit societal responsibility to preserve the species. That’s why wars are fought. That’s why terrorists are killed. Some death is necessary for the preservation of the species, and if you are put into a situation like the trolley problem, you must own up to your responsibility.

Q:Justify that more humans means a net benefit for the human race

A: More humans means they (most likely; this cannot be completely certain given the circumstances) have the potential to produce more offspring. These children will grow up and produce more. By exponentially growing (let’s say that every person saved has two children, so on and so forth) they increase possibilities for developing benefits for humanity. This is not to say that the one person you “save” by not pulling the lever can not also have offspring who reproduce so on and so forth, but the numbers would ultimately pale in comparison to what could have been saved given you DID pull the lever. It is all too pessimistic, I believe, to think that all 5 human lives would not, collectively, produce either themselves or through their offspring, benefits equal to or greater than that of the 1.

I don't understand why helping random third world people to live is valuable.

>>12391949
hey those iPhones and Family Guy t-shirts ain't gonna make themselves

>>12391955
At some point that's exactly what they're going to do.

>>12391192
should be shock collars for saying stupid things online that progress to lethal voltage with each successive brainlet statement or hot take.
>>12391938
shut the fuck up brainlet

There's no negative pronouncement anyone could make on my life that wouldn't be true.

I will keep smoking cigarettes even if they make me die early, because they make every day infinitely better.

>>12391967
Hating others is not productive. I personally try not to harbor ill will beyond reactionary standards. But if you are so offended by brainlet opinions or hot takes, maybe you should provide some coherent discourse beyond trying to silence the other party. Name calling like “pseud” or “brainlet” is not a valid response to things you don’t agree with, pretentious as they may be.

>>12391986
some stuff is just too stupid to bother responding to though

>>12391988
Discrediting terrible opinions without providing evidence is as bad as having a terrible opinion. Both just spout things completely unrelated to each other, and get upset when the other side doesn’t listen. You don’t realize this, but every time you let an opinion go by with the vaguest of criticisms, you are only inviting even less intelligent discussion. You current thinking is harmful to yourself and others.

The international Jew has a binary range when it comes to recognizing the humanity of others. Either you're another rich cunt or you're a third world subhuman living off less than a dollar a day, everyone else can die regardless of their qualities or circumstances.

>>12391986
You're too good for this place, anon.

>>12392024
you're close, but not quite. the binary is humans and bigots.

>>12392196
I don't think you understand the post, anon

FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU IDIOTS CAN LITERALLY CHECK THE OBJECTIVE PROPERTIES OF MY BRAIN AND SEE EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT BY EVERYTHING WHY HAVE YOU NEVER DONE THIS

>>12392238
Your brain is too small to be scanned, sorry.

Fuck off

love sex intelligence
love sex intelligence
ooh coming on like a seventh sense

>>12391499
good luck with this, it seems like a good goal

So how do you guys get the motivation to do anything that is worthwhile? I have had days where I am able to get something of note done and after that first hill I have the momentum to do more. My problem isn't maintaining energy, it's conjuring it up in the first place.

>>12392290
yeah man i just can't focus, i thought about moving into one of those "railroad" style rooms, so that i can't fap, shitpost on 4channel, or do anything else off task and/or non-patrish, they are so cheap, there was an amazing one like 15 minutes walk from my work, but i couldn't pull the trigger

I want to try to avoid reading to be "well-read" and instead read for enjoyment and genuine interest like I used to.

>>12391192
Fuck niggers

>>12392322
That's terrific, anon.

I want to set myself on fire

I'm going insane and I can't tell anyone about it and I'm selfish for even caring because all my friends have it worse and need me to be the person they can tell about how they're going insane

What does it mean that I seem to attract a lot of friends that are girls? They aren't romantically interested but they say I'm attractive.

>>12392361
all my friends are girls, it's not a friendzone thing, they just make plans with me and then i go do stuff with them, idk

These aren't my thoughts

This isn't my mind

>>12392361
Maybe you're just a lovely and affable person who everybody wants to be friends with.

My heart pumps a toxic sludge through my veins. I care for others deeply, but at every opportunity I believe they're trying to fuck me over.

Why am I afraid of positive energy.

>>12392493
You're afraid of being hurt again.

I am in a state of chronic anxiety. I sit at home (it's the school holidays) doing nothing but reading, watching anime, and browsing 4chan to distract me from these thoughts. It's really hard to concentrate on a book without my mind wandering off and self-introspecting. It's really exhausting. As the days pass by, my anguish and melancholy only seem to increase as I realise that others my age are living life outside of their own heads. I'm getting agoraphobic. Even going to a barber makes me feel nervous. I have friends, but I don't hang out with them because they don't fit my mould of a spiceful youth. I already have answers to all my concerns: introspection makes sure of that. I wish these negative emotions would just disappear. My social skills are incredibly average; I have absolutely no reason for this trauma; my upbringing was normal; I wasn't molested; I wasn't even bullied. It's getting really intolerable and I just want to get rid of this painful emotion. I want to get past it. I want to stop dwelling on it but I just can't. I don't even want to wallow in self-pity. I can't escape the prison of my own mind. I have absolutely no reason to suffer, yet I'm suffering unbearably

>>12392580
What are you watching, anon?

I constantly fluctuate between thinking I'm reading too much and thinking I'm reading too little

On weed I am enlightened.

In real life I am frightened.

>>12392581
Currently I'm rewatching this:

How is it that everyone has so much time to the waste? I don't have time to waste or anything to do. It's an infinite paradox.

>>12392580
just go outside lol

In Eternal Sunshine Jim Carrey's character asks himself, "why do I fall in love with every girl I meet?". I find myself looking at almost every young and reasonably attractive woman I might encounter, whether serving me coffee or cutting my hair in the barbers and in that instant pour all my hopes and dreams into an image of what I might imagine her to be. Of course this is but a nonsense, I am a dreamer, a narcissist, nondescript but heavily reliant on image and shallow interpretations of the people around me who are like supporting cast. Her dad might come into the store and act strange, talk like an idiot or appear low class, and the illusion is shattered, the mundane reality of people and their flaws returns.

>>12392596
Technology speaking I'm back to where I was in HS, age 15, when I trip-posted on /mu/, posted Welcome to the N.H.K., complained about having no friends and thought innovating the acceptable norm for what suicide threats could be made and under what conditions would grant me a girlfriend, and, more importantly, compel the universe to bring me a custom subject who'd understand the way I thought without misunderstanding me. It is sort of assuring the way self-loathing can stir up some enthusiasm by taking away other people's energy, especially when you cost so much to hear. I often contemplate who's going to pay for everything. I had no choice but to choose asceticism at an early age, because carbohydrates and women just destroy me. Some people would love it to be "free" of the cardinal vices, but when you have no choice and you'd love to indulge it's so mistakenly terrible there aren't words to describe it. I tried working 80hrs a week, I tried giving everything away, I tried bodybuilding, I've traveled abroad, I've slogged through routines for years, I've listened to literally everybody's thoughts on everything intellectually accessible to me. My IQ is only 90 and I feel like that alone ruined my life, because my soul cannot fucking deal with a brain that goes into instant psychosis whenever it stops working. Anyone else like me is a murderer, dead or a crack addict.

I write fake stories about my everyday life on here and other boards just to see if people can tell that I’m lying.

I want to die

So net neutrality didn't matter you young faggot zoomers HUH. Nothing matters. Politics doesn't mean anything anymore anyways. Only money. Capitalism ruins everything.

Happy Birthday Murakami :)

>>12391938
>Moral question
>A: "well OBJECTIVELY.."

kek

suddenly i feel real bad about avicii dying, weird. i was never a big fan of his music

I'm obsessed with writing and worldbuilding but these days I can never quite get into it. Multiple times during the day when I'm distracted by chores or work I repeat to myself all the time, "I can't wait to get back to writing and drawing!" but I can't stop shying away from it, I always, without fail, have trouble picking up the pen and getting to work. Yet when I'm in the middle of the creative proccess, I feel empty and peaceful for some time.
Food tastes like dirt in my mouth. I can't really enjoy anything anymore. If I could write more and more instead of spending so much time doing jackshit like I'm so used to, I'm certain it'd go away.

>>12391192
How can people have fun on /pol/ discussing race and such all day?
It's such a depressing and anxiety inducing topic, also the fact that everyone (myself included) knows fuck all about what they are talking about
I don't know if I should "bury my head" and just do my stuff or educate myself and possibily falling for an idelological trap...
Stuff like this always ruins my day

She cheated on me. In front of me.

>>12393634
its pretty easy to "have fun" talking about races when you believe you are superior to every other race.

>>12392303
What's a railroad room? Just a small sparsely furnished artist's studio next to the railway? That could be quite nice, a simple room with a wooden table and chairs for eating, a bed, maybe an old leather trunk for clothing, everything slightly worn but clean and functional.

THIS FUCKING COFFEE BURNS

>>12393647
Cheats in front of you, put it behind you

>>12393710
Damn I wish they had that kind of thing close to where I live

I saw a nigger on the bus today. I'm eastern european so niggers are rare here. This nigger was sitting and eating popcorn on the bus with headphones on. Observing this black specimen was quite interesting. He seemed to be not self conscious at all munching his popped corn loudly. I never see white people so relaxed and just enjoying themselves without a single care. I felt envious of him. I also speculated that he has a large penis and has seen girls doing this cute face when they are slightly hurt when penetrated.

What is it with normies' obsession with the office? Not the consumption of media itself, I get that, but why this show in particular? Why does every girl in particular always mention how much they love it? Why is its presence on Netflix so important? Why does the girl in the adjacent unit play the theme song on loop (it's barely even a song, more like a jingle)?

This shit really reminds me how estranged I am from popular society, I DON'T GET IT

>>12394317
The rapey forest spirit pics might be helping

>>12392497
But is this the way to cope?

I hate the notion of not trusting those close to me, I feel as if I'm my own villain.

>>12391192
As the internet evolves through the years its cultural iterations grow, and grow old, I am seeing my own whither - which is the one at the tail end of the telnet culture. the Script kiddie culture: when the internet was completely open for any teenage kid to learn c+ and be a "1337 sub7 hax0r." god damn, those were good times. It wasn't so serious, it was so innocent, there wasn't so much money involved. The internet wasn't so idiologically driven. I have seen the death of those days. And now the decline of internet culture is like the decline of the culture of many small cities who have experienced doubling or trippling in population in the last two decades. I experienced the best of it. The culture of a huge mass can only be what is most common, it will never be genius. The noise will drown out and mystify any unique personality who tries to find his peers. Where will we go? What gravity will be graced upon man to again break up the monotony of the common hold on culture and give it back to the unique? What will it be. What will it be. What will it be?

>>12394488
Even as someone who never experienced the "golden age" of the web it seems to have got so much more homogenized over the past few years. The internet now feels like a couple of huge social media networks, some video streaming services, and wikipedia. Everything else has either fallen to complete obscurity or been abstracted away into a mobile app.

>>12394562
obscurity is good.

>>12394579
To an extent, however what we see now is things just collapsing into monoculture instead of developing their own little niches

>>12394579

>>12394317
I fucking hate that show. Dry humor. The kind where you're expected to laugh.

i cant find a 28 inch axe handle that fits the eye of my axe in the town im in.i need to travel to surrounding towns and look,its frustrating.i just want to chop some wood.

>>12394488
>>12394562
The internet is much like an ecosystem. What proliferates isn't what is necessarily what's most beautiful or worthy, but what is best at filling voids, exploiting an available resource and replicating itself.
The exact same openings that made these tech giants expand and expand will eventually drown out the diversity which allowed them to proliferate in the first place. Monocultures are bad because there needs to be contrast and contradiction for any creativity to ensue. It's as true with crops and genetic diversity as it is with the internet.
The self-reinforcing feedback loops that got the internet to where it is today may spell its downfall. But as a constructed system, the internet only becomes what its collective user inputs direct it to become, and what engineers steer it to be. Now that it's form has solidified more or less, it's more more or less impossible to answer that question because it's been answered by major corporations.

>>12394562
It doesn't seem to be. It's become more homogenized. The thing is, as this homogenization has increased, the functionality of the internet has expanded along with it. The internet was effectively useless during those early days. Now it runs the world, and that is in no small part because of the knowledge concentration that these network effects have yielded. Google, Amazon, etc, have created much of backbone of the internet today, and without that backbone, without some forces leading the way, the internet would've never "come together". It would have remained a relatively useless thing.

Now the internet gets people laid, gets you food, gets you jobs, gets you around, gets you knowledge and information, gets you commodities, gets you music, gets you almost anything. There's never quite been an object like it in all of history.

>>12394787
China btw was really smart, its government saw that American tech companies dominated the internet space and decided to cut them out and created their own separate internet. Now they have their own internet industry that is exploding and are in a much stronger position because of it.

It's so very strange to have an actual crisis of choice, to sincerely not know what should be done, what is right. Maybe this is because I don't normally do anything, but there's something dizzying about sincere decision. It's like...deciding who you are, when you simply don't know.

>>12394787
The internet was not "useless" pre 2010 lmao, get a grip

>>12394850
like odysseus with Scylla and Charybdis

There was a large scab covering half my face in my dream. I decided to peel it off as I always do. Much of my face's skin was coming off with the scab. When I got to my eye the scab took the pupil with it, and the eye juice drained out.

Happy that the sun is coming back, slow as it may be.

>>12394953
i always get happy during the spring

I have a dilemma in Warhammer, guys. Please don't judge me.

I am taking part in a league soon and I will be starting a new army. I already have a few things for each army so maybe "new" isn't the right word but for all intents and purposes let's just go with it. I'm stuck between deciding. On one hand there's Custodes. An army that doesn't require I paint as many models and since I am a slow painter (and have a month to paint the additional points I buy) it would work better. They are sort of costly money-wise but, as I said, fewer models. They are fairly straightforward and with them I could add in other Imperial units if I wanted via detachments. I'm not restricted to just one thing beyond <IMPERIUM> which is mind of diverse.

Second is Eldar. Space elves. I want to do Corsairs plus Harlequins plus Craftworld. Corsairs are in quite a bad spot rules-wise and would kind of hurt me if I played them. They are quite cool, though. Same with the rest of the Eldar, really. It'd cost a bit more to do and have more models which I would need to paint. They're also very tiny and I have ham hands so assembly is a chore. I would be allied with another guy at the store though and we'd get up to whacky elf pirate shenanigans in space. It would also be relatively unique since no one else at the store plays them and they'd all be kitbashed/converted.

Logically I should go with Custodes. Smaller army, able to branch out more, easier for me to paint completely, less expensive, etc. Still, not sure why I am being indecisive about this. Any help if anyone cares enough to?

Just came, cum shot right past my abdomen onto the book I had next to my pillow. Book's not even mine and there's ejaculate on the side, already suffusing through the paper.

>>12394836
yeah, its insane just how powerful the chinese state is, i wonder how long it will be until "democratic" reforms take place

>>12391969
you are a violent masturbator

writing is hard, it is worth it when i feel myself disappear, someone told me i write like tao lin. i want to write like myself and maybe i write like that too. i feel embarrassed by my own writing, does anyone think that means i've sincerely put myself into it? i hope i am at least decent.
>>12396002
that seems mildly painful.

I am an anarchist. No gods. No masters.

Sometimes though I look around and think maybe someone needs to rule. Someone needs to tell morons what to do and what not to do. I like people. I think they're great. Left to their own devices most are retarded.

Just a niggling thought I have that I don't really want. I know human nature isn't real and what we ascribe to human nature is completely dependent on the environment we're in (capitalism for now) but a lot of people are stupid and make stupid decisions. I don't know if education could help this. Right now everyone wants drones. Go to work. Don't think. Slave away. If more people were better educated would the world change for the better?

>>12396256
Okay, this is epic.

>>12396256
underagepilled

>>12396256
How would you propose we better educate people? What's the root of the problem? Is it a lack of enthused students? Enthused teachers? Money? How do you see it, anon?

I spend a lot of time thinking about how to make people forget I exist or ever existed.

>>12396256
>he thinks all human behavior is taught
>he also thinks human beings can be trusted to live individually

Holy fuck is this bait

>>12396256
I'm an anarchist too but it just keeps either sounding like not enough, or too much to only go after the dissolution of the state.

>>12391192
My mental illness keeps making me think that "other people" think the worst things I think of myself, it's like I possess everyone with knowledge of me, like a mask over their faces made of pure judgement.
It's some progress to realize that it's just me proyecting onto others, but that doesn't make it stop.

I just kind of lost my virginity to a escort, she was kind and understanding, we kissed a lot and let me explore her body as much as I liked.
She sucked me and ride my half hard cock but just cannot cum, it felt so irreal, she kissed me some more and still was sweet enough to sit on my face while she kept sucking me off.
She gave me what I wanted, someone caring and saying sweet things to me.
And yet my dick couldn't get hard enough, I still can feel her meaty big ass on my face.
But I just feel so empty so devoid of emotion, almost being a 30 years old virgin I thought this will change something.
Now I have no purpose left, I don't care about life, my work is meningless and have no friends.
And my balls hurt

>tfw you realize actual jews browse this board

>>12396445
It's normal not to be able to get off in situations like that. Many many men do not perform well or even climax on their first time having sex. Sex is stressful and requires that you had be in the right mindset to engage with it. Being able to explore with someone understanding and not care about performing too much was a good move. I hope you stayed safe.

And yeah, sex isn't worth all that much in life. Loving sex with a girlfriend can be really nice, but even then, there's a reason why the vast majority of couples stop having extremely regular sex after a few years of being together. Especially among normie couples, and especially after they have kids.

Why did you think some stupid fleeting pleasure would significantly change your life? I always see sex as more of an annoying thing, like a cigarette habit you no longer get positive joy from but you will get a lot of negative cravings and withdrawal symptoms if you are forced to go without it. Positive fulfillment in life has to come from spiritually fulfilling things that become part of you as a whole person.

>>12396315

I really don't know. I think it's our environment of capitalism. Everything is pushed towards money and profit instead of simply for the betterment of humanity. Every action has to lead to that at the expense of other things.

I was a bit mad when I wrote that as I read that some morons had chopped down protected trees during the American government shutdown (not for the top government though they would never suffer, only the people they don't care about). I don't think that even without the shutdown anyone could have done anything but perhaps some forethought or education about certain flora could have. Of course, that doesn't help profit so why bother?

I don't know the solution either exceot for the dismantling of capitalism. That may not solve it either. We'd need to be post scarcity (beyond the artificial scarcity we have now) where menial tasks are automated leaving people free to pursue knowledge for its own sake.

It won't happen. I'm not a fool, I'd like to think. Climate change will kill us. It is what it is. I think I need to stop watching Star Trek.

>>12396445
>irreal

thank you for teaching me a new word, anon

>>12396428
do you ever get the feeling that no matter what you say to people, they'll think you're weird anyway? Even the most basic questions like "Can I borrow a sheet of paper?" or shit like that, seems to me like whenever I do people begin to think horribly of me.

I thought that life might be meaningless. I found a bit of comfort in the fact that no matter what I do, no matter what actions I take in life, it doesn't really matter because ultimately life is pointless.
Today, while sitting at one of my closest childhood friends funeral, I thought about that. The story The Stranger came to mind. I recalled the protagonist, and his indifference towards his mothers death, his indifference towards murdering a man, and his apathy towards his own death. Then I saw all the people around me, mourning, and I reflected on how I felt. I was heart broken. I cried. I still am. With all this emotion around me, and while facing the death of a loved one, I realized that the idea of a meaningless life is absurd. Life is meant to be felt. I cant go through life not caring. I love people too much. Simply the shared experience of being alive and making memories together with other people is enough meaning to me. Life is about leaving your mark on this planet with the people you share it with. Life is too beautiful to be absurd.

>>12396513
Damn I remember being 15 too, shit's rough.

>>12396508
When I had really bad agoraphobia, yes, sometimes when that facet of me takes hold, yes also, but usually nowadays after a lot of forced social interaction, it's much easier to remember that lots of people won't give a shit.

I feel like this line of thinking that you're talking about really comes from an excessive objectifying view of oneself, like, from the "social perspective", or from a "third person", who you assign values that might be in Clash with yours or your attitude, personality even, and putting that "third person" role into the people you talk to.

It's irreal shit, it's like not even seeing the person who you're really talking to in favor of "what you expect."

>>12396525
What do you mean

>>12396525
Invalidating people's feeling is so fun haha :-)

>>12396543
He means that you're having babby's first existential crisis.

>>12396558
Hey, can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

>>12396558
I know right? I mean sure there's something better to do out there, but why not spend a few minutes every so often "invalidating" others' feelings. Nothing's going to happen.

>>12396539
so I'm objectifying myself in social interactions by assigning discordant values to myself?

>>12396593
you're objectifying yourself way too much, and assigning values that come from you into people that you don't know.

objectifying yourself is fine and essential to living in society, if you only do that, then shit gets terrifying

I feel bad for not joining my friends as they play video games, but honestly I'd rather do anything else. I've spent my entire life playing video games and frankly I've had enough. Even if the other option is reading, studying or just listening to music. Anything else just has infinitely more value to me at this point.

>>12396513
i like that

1984 is an instruction manual

I like being a man, i like being strong and i like being tall and i like having a penis.

But whenever i fap i fantasize about being the girl and being a slut and its so fucking hot.

>>12396385
That guy's a retard but so are you, humans are completely shaped by their environment, their innate behavior is simply that of any other moderately intelligent animal. This isn't a fanciful philosophic musing, we have examples of people who have grown up without ANY social contact. The result is not a man, it is an animal.

Also anarchism (as in the political philosophy) is not "living individually", it's living without hierarchy. Still have to follow your community's rules or they'd BTFO you.

>>12392271
Thank you kindly

>>12396627
I remember in high school my friends all really got into gaming and I hated it because meant that we never went outside and played anymore.

I'm getting scared for my future.
The world is becoming so immoral and I've already given up on some of my morals just to fit in with others.

What's next?

STOP HAVING SHIT THOUGHTS

>>12396829
You seem sane

>>12391257
Can relate, 23 and I’ve just given up? Hmm, maybe some future regrets, ah...whatever
>>12396472
I had a very similar experience, alcohol helps to relax and climax, however, it really is a depressing experience...after all that, what else? Still lonely and empty inside
>>12396627
Perhaps, let them know, but whatever you do, don’t neglect your relationships, especially if they’re good friends, or you’re like me and barely have any other friends.
I started college with a small friend group, my interests radically diverged sophomore year in a similar way, I wanted to engage in more productive activities. I became withdrawn and eventually completely cut from them. I spent the rest of my UG as a loner, pushing away any potential friends who didn’t share a similar mindset. If you can make new friends easily, then ok, if not, reconsider.

God i want to be tied up and be forcefully jerked off by lilypichu

>>12396805
Visit the homosexual board on this website. They have your kind all figured out. Autoginaphyla or something like that

>>12397075
dont think that is the thing, pretty sure its because i've fapped to much and imagining myself as the guy is just boring. Its the past half year its been like this

I dont even have kids nor i'm i close to having one(i'm a KVH) yet i still have love for my unborn and uuconceived child
its a weird feeling

I dont even have kids nor i'm i close to having one(i'm a KVH) yet i still have love for my unborn and unconceived child
its a weird feeling

>>12396188
Yes, actually

>>12397240
damn you gave my a new feeling

>>12391192
I tasted the nectar. I recoiled. It was either saccharine or I too bitter to enjoy it.

>>12396913
>Can relate, 23 and I’ve just given up? Hmm, maybe some future regrets, ah...whatever
Its not that i've given up, it just that this has been my life since i entered puberty at 11, i never tried in school and i stayed home and sat in front of the computer 50% of school days.
I dont know any other life than this...

>>12391476
The Pearl Jam song? First confirmation I've ever had that anyone else has listened to that album.

Not gonna shave or cut my hair during 2019, looking forward to it

>>12394317
it's weird humor for normies, also 90% of guys I've seen on tinder have "quotes the office often" in their bio.. haha o.e

>>12397382
I meant Can’s

>>12394317
Kevin is the only remotely bearable person on that show. Normies like it because the writers inserted Jim and Pam as viewer inserts with loosely defined personalities. Anyone bitch can see herself as Pam since all Pam does is bitch, whine, and make fun of people who are more interesting than her, same with Jim for guys.

>>12397240
very sweet anon

I have no idea what's going or nor how to acclimate myself to this environment.

All people are predators. They lurk inside their minds waiting to strike. Every move is another piece moved on the chessboard. Everyone has to display anger passive aggressively to avoid beating the shit out of each other or resorting to murder. Every display is one to ascend the hierarchy so they can become gods like the famous. This aspect is one of all humans and cannot be suppressed. Although I notice this and it makes my heart sink, I keep going. All I hope for in this world is to create at least one thing that connects with someone else. I hope you can all show the good in yourselves when someone else of value is in your company. It is all we have left.

>>12391806
Only as much as you care about what a stranger on the street thinks of you.

>>12392290
>>12392303
The first step in achieving anything meaningful is the work required to make "valuable work" a habit instead of a goal. That is the first measure of work to be done towards anything of worth. Choose to work until you work without having to choose to do so.

It really hurts my butt that literature is a dying medium.

>>12391434
i got my boss angry, like i always do.

>>12392322
It is really amazing how often I see this opinion on this site. They spend all day on the internet, on 4chan, talking about how they don't feel reading is enjoying or interesting. What are you really doing on the internet? You are reading. You read all the time and find it enjoyable and entertaining, you are just reading internet media not a book. Both are still reading. Books are usually of higher quality, but what can be read on the internet can be so much more. Don't feel like "real reading" has to be a book. That is no more real than any other type of reading. Almost any book can be read on the internet, and then there is all the stuff there that you couldn't read in any book.

>>12391192
No amount of flattery can defeat the ugly reality of my utter inadequacy. Any such remarks even worsen this by blatantly expressing a lie they know to be false in order for me to pretend i have something to offer when they too are convinced of the opposite.
Passions and life goals are a means of bringing the fantasy of purpose to life by acting upon them in the hopes that these synthetic dreams can one day be realized.

There is usually a romantic aspect to surrender, the romance of a beauty lost or one that will never manifest. The part about that loss that makes it romantic is its reluctance to surface and that all involved long for it, knowing what it is and what its potential for a future growth is, without ever being able to experience it. This is a romance i have fantasized about when longing for my own losses, hoping that their disappearance can give their very nonexistence a meaning of its own, one that only makes what was lost grow sweeter with age. A sheet of sorrow covers my shoulders when i think about the reality where the loss i experience was never great on its own, and lesser still when lost. To add insult to injury i am reminded every day of my petty life that the loss i long for, and the loss of my own self, are worse than being null, they are better off gone.

>>12392580
Find your God anon, whatever he looks like. The world is too much for a man to handle alone.

I'm dissatisfied with nearly every aspect of my life, the few people who interact me are just a nuisance, and I'd really like to just hang myself already because try as I might, nothing has improved in 5 years.

>>12397911
you are me

>>12397911
Well that sounds like me, but I am the nuisance. Just being alive is a burden for others.

>>12397627
This, it is a show that captures the predominent charcatures of the "Modern American Landscape" and is really a hug box for normies to self insert in to feel like everything is going to be OK, that they are funnier and smarter than everyone around them, and everyone always gets a happy ending. It is the ultimate normie fantasyland.

>>12396157
Never, they are gearing up to plug everyone in into CHINABOT3000 and the state will be run by an AI pawn of the party. It is going to be "freedom through technology" and they are all going to be forced at gunpoint to play the big game run by the computer. It will probably serve them well. Machine led societies will come to dominate, hopefully those who make the machines are good men.

>>12395988
>Warhammer
Why are you playing a game where you have to dump a shit ton of money into models (the most unique aspect of the game) but also bitch about having to make models LMAO. Just play a different game and make the models that you want to make.

>>12396157
>implying america and europe won't start copying china, too keep us safe from fakenews, russians, alt-right nazis, and liberals will fuckin' love it

>>12397095
My theory is that at somepoint even self inserting as a man becomes too intimate and is uncomfortable. You aren't gay, so you still want to watch "straight sex" and if you imagine yourself as the girl and then self insert as the guy at the same time it doesn't feel that way anymore. Intimacy sans intimacy (even imagined)

ugh i just bought and watched a depressing movie, why did i do that now i feel like shit

>>12397990

I'm not bitching about anything I'm just trying to decide what to do.

>>12391499
The lit mag at my school, and the stuff that got submitted to it, was very similar

>>12398041
>An army that doesn't require I paint as many models. (choice a)
>It'd cost a bit more to do and have more models which I would need to paint. They're also very tiny and I have ham hands so assembly is a chore. (choice b)
idk man sounds like expensive models are just an unnecessary pain in the ass

>>12397935
>reading this deep into the office

>>12398082
There is a reason it is so popular with so many people. It is a phenomenon. When people "watch" the office on netflix some of them literally always have it on at the house and just watch it on loop day after day. I know several people who do this.

>>12398064

I think I may be limiting myself. Maybe this isn't about the models at all but me saying I can't do something when I can. Why can I not? Because I am saying I can't?

I have learned something about myself with this revelation.

>>12398039
did it atleast give you a cathartic moment

lowercase g is my favorite letter to write
q is good too

semen
suffering
bliss
release
a cycle
see? men?

It really hurts my butt sitting in this chair for so long.

How are you supposed to not care about what others think about what you're doing when everyone around you is trying to force you to do what they want you to do?

never realized life would become this difficult once i left school. its an endless bleak money chase. i screwed my entire situation and i want it to end

WHEN YOU LEAVE MY COLORS FADE TO GREY OOWAHOOWAHEY

>>12391553
Depends on what type of person you are

>>12397095
porn is inherently gay. when you watch porn you're conditioning yourself to be gay

I'm really looking forward to taking a shit once my partner have left the bathroom.

>>12398627
Join the military or police

I want to cry but I can't. It's like a there's something obstructing the river.

>>12398895
already looked into the military but they have mental health requirements that i dont meet

>>12398895

He is going through a rough patch in his life and you want him to join class traitors and imperialist thugs? Are you mental?

>>12391192
do any of y'all have crazy good memory/dream retention? it's scary sometimes & can be a burden. remembering every single dream you've had over the course of an hour? fuck no. especially remembering everytime someone's been let-down by me being a clown/fuck-up. there's good stuff too, i'd like to think people care that i remember them fondly but it seems like they're all just burning their way through this world with no time to be sensitive

>>12398988
hey, that's a good album

My consciousness is alone and will always be alone. I'll never experience the kind of relationship that my consciousness craves, which is the presence of another raw consciousness. Can't wait til they can upload me.

>>12391225
I feel like that's one of the truths that organized religion tapped into.

>>12391499
I think if you dig into what you're loving right now, which seems to be the craft of writing and the skill of storytelling, you'll find your own way of digging into your history and wealth of experiences. Just as your peers may come to approach craft and storytelling as separate skills through their self-involved works.

One reason I dislike conservatives is that they are disingenuous hacks. They rightly point out that communism and the Bolshevik revolution have their roots in the French revolution, but they refuse to take this claim to its logical conclusion and trace the roots of the French revolution itself back to the Protestant Reformation. There are two reasons for this, one direct, the other less so: the first, obvious reason, is that as conservatives, they are naturally fearful of tainting Christianity or anything related to it. The second, less obvious reason, is that once they've done that, the next logical step would be to trace the Reformation to Jesus Christ, making him the world's first socialist agitator, and by extension, condemning judaism as history's first political ideology. As anyone familiar with anglo conservative thought knows, conservatives detest ideology, as they believe that weaponized secularism was the cause of the horrors of the twentieth century. This is true enough, but if conservatives were willing to follow their line of argument to its natural end, they would be forced to admit that it was in Israel that political dogmatism and religious faith were first mixed together. After all, no one ever waged war in the name of Jupiter or conquered and violently converted millions of people in the name of Zeus. It was Christianity that gave us the thirty years war, the inquisition, the crusades, and the Reformation. No pagan religion had ever killed as many people as any of the Abrahamic faiths. Christianity is nowhere near as horrible as communism, but if one truly believes in human freedom, then it's a step down from what it replaced.
https://mises.org/library/messianic-communism-protestant-reformation

>>12399502
You could trade it just a little bit back to the US war of independence and you'd see why it's always American conservatives who are afraid of where it went. Conservatives in Europe tend to think the problem happened at full male suffrage or even suffrage itself.

>>12398025
damn, i think your right
>>12398813
yeah,...

>>12391192
2018 Autumn. Many of my friends move away, mostly to study in UNI. I started university 2 years ago but never made friends. Im faced in a situation where nearly all my friends moved away and now im completely friendless.

I'm not sure if that even bothers me. It feels like the only reason I want friends is so other people, like my room mate and my old friends currently living hundreds of miles away from me, dont think I'm a sad lonely dude.

Might join a chess club or try to befriend some nerds in school.

>>12399502
>No pagan religion had ever killed as many people as any of the Abrahamic faiths
[Laughs in Chinese]

>>12398949
Both instutions have always prayed on the disenfranchised, the mentally ill, the no-point-in-living kinda people to add to their ranks, war is a pretty big reason to get up in the morning.

Been reading a lot of Aubrey-Maturin lately and it has made me want to eat some old Navy food for a week or so. For fun. I already enjoy ship's biscuit so I will be making some of that. Going to replace the beef and pork for something else since I'm a pescatarian. Easy to do fish as I've got some cod in the freezer. Got some peas too. Going to be eating porridge for breakfast.

Should be a fun week.

>trying to write comedy
>end up writing something serious/straight instead

god damn it.

>>12400347

Yeah, for war profiteers aka people who should be hanged

I can't keep track of all these philosophical isms.

Been in a pretty shitty situation, caring for a parent since 12 years of age. I'm tired of caring for someone far older than me, there's a life out there to live. I have to travel North to start infantry training soon. Call me selfish, but it's time I start living the life I envisioned myself living; not the life that fate has chosen for me thus far.

>MUST
>NEEDS TO HAVE
>REQUIRED
>ESSENTIAL!
>A MINIMUM OF
>AT LEAST
>MANDATORY
>QUALIFICATIONS
>MUST ALSO!

>MUST
>NEEDS TO HAVE
>REQUIRED
>ESSENTIAL!
>A MINIMUM OF
>AT LEAST
>MANDATORY
>THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS
>MUST ALSO!
>NO EXCEPTIONS!

>>12391755

How did you lose it? Did you have a concussion, anon?

Oh boy d&d livestream time. Love spending time with fake friends

>>12400452
If about a job just lie and apply anyway
if about a woman take the monkpill

The attempts to alter /lit/ this last month or so have become ridiculously transparent, far to many forced memes.

>>12392361
Sorry, but it is likely that they are lying to you. It’s okay, the vast majority of men (myself included) are quite dumpy.

>>12400498
Schizophrenia

>>12392580

>I have friends, but I don’t hang out with them because they don’t fit my mould of a spiceful youth.

Very relatable. I am so disillusioned with my youth; what was supposed to be a debauched, indelibly wild period has instead become plagued by inertia. What will I reminisce on when I am old? The glow of a computer? That constant, unshakeable feeling of ennui?

I can't stand the usage of "one" in reference to yourself.

I hate how as we become older our self closes progressively closes on itself and we petrify on shapes we never meant to, just so we feel a little less pain. I want to bare my raw flesh to the world but I'm obviously unable to withstand the suffering that comes with it.

>>12400270
>I'm not sure if that even bothers me.

Probably will down the line. I'd sort your life out before you go too far down the rabbithole. I lost all my friends when they moved away to uni and it didn't bother me, so i didn't bother trying to make more friends and now it's almost a decade later and i feel like shit. The loneliness gets to you eventually.

Do anti-depressants work? I'm tired of feeling like shit all the time. Sorted out my sleep schedule, eat a good diet ect and still feel like shit. Probably down to social isolation (which i've tried and failed at sorting out as no one wants to be around a depressed loser), so it seems like the last option.

>>12400435
How old are you now, anon?

>>12400583
I agree, 'man' in German has the same meaning but sounds far less pretentious.

>>12400896
They can, but they're risky and tend to be over prescribed

>>12400896
Not really, you've gotta find the right type of anti-depressant for you, which can take years of constantly drugging up and whittling down, at which point the damage done to your liver and brain is worse than the depression.

>>12396805
Autogynephilia

>>12401071
>tend to be over prescribed
Most prescriptions are actually really low dosages primarily used for their non-anti-depressant effects, it isn't as bad as the media would like you to believe.

>>12400327
The most bloody war in Chinese history was caused by abrahamic religion

>>12400896
Only if your depression is exclusively a neurological issue, which for most people is not

>>12401128
I'm speaking anecdotally, it seems you can get thrown antidepressants merely for being depressed, while most people are depressed for very good reasons. As >>12401142
says.

>>12400583
*oneself

>>12400985
20.

I wake up under a pile of half naked women, each slightly blonder than the last. They urge me to stay in bed, though there hands holding me back are no match for my unrelenting drive and unstoppable pecs. I brush my teeth with gin, angrily, and rinse with cognac, showering with this morning's pinot noir, selected by the world's best sommeliers, except for champagne instead of wine. By the time I'm dressed I've already got a good buzz going and throw open to curtains, not even blinking as 450 cameras flash in front of my face immediately. Despite the barbed wire I've paid to have installed around the outside of the building, the 'razzi had climbed 40 stories up to my balcony and were hoping to get the right angle first, as to capture the light glinting perfectly of my washboard abs; Immaculate, the headline of the NY times called them, as I read it folded over twice in my left hand, through glasses perched on the end of my nose, and with a cup of joe, made from hand picked peruvian coffee beans, in the other hand. I was on my to work, where I am the CEO of a law firm, as a hobby.

I wake up under a pile of half naked women, each slightly blonder than the last. They urge me to stay in bed, though their hands holding me back are no match for my unrelenting drive and unstoppable pecs. I brush my teeth with gin, angrily, and rinse with cognac, showering with this morning's pinot noir, selected by the world's best sommeliers, except for champagne instead of wine. By the time I'm dressed I've already got a good buzz going, and throw open the curtains, not even blinking as 450 cameras flash in front of my face immediately. Despite the barbed wire I've paid to have installed around the outside of the building, the 'razzi had climbed 40 stories up to my balcony and were hoping to get the right angle first, as to capture the light glinting perfectly of my washboard abs; Immaculate, the headline of the NY times called them, as I read it folded over twice in my left hand through glasses perched on the end of my nose, and with a cup of joe, made from hand picked peruvian coffee beans in the other. I was on my to work, where I am the CEO of a law firm, as a hobby.

>>12401301
Worst thing I've ever read. Made even more so by the fact you had to post it twice and delete the other version.

>>12392580

Anon, I was in this exact position last year. I sincerely thought I was going to kill myself because it had been that way for a very long time.
Something clicked a few months ago, and it's gone. I don't know exactly how or why it went away; it's not something that can be communicated. What happened to me can't be what happens to you, but I think it's unavoidable that SOMEthing happens to alleviate it. I recommend you keep a journal (I use a word document personally) and think very hard and very openly, without being judgmental, about your thoughts, why you think them, what they mean to you, etc. That helped a lot in my case.

I don't know, man. I think a lot of it has to do with acceptance, either of yourself, your situation, being alive, whatever the case is. Also, either reach out to the friends you have, deepen your bonds, or make new friends. Being isolated is not a normal phenomenon: we are, forgive the cliche, social creatures and vitally require social interaction and the love and support that accompanies it.

Point is, you're not alone in that feeling. You need to work on it, but I do think that for you, and for a majority of others, it will go away eventually if you keep going in spite of it.

Women wearing makeup literally constantly is the dumbest shit. I fucking hate it, it's all so artificial. I don't even know if I've ever seen someone my age without makeup on. My perception's probably so fucked up from years of this shit that I'd think they were ugly if I ever did. What a fucking life.

>>12400896

It is most definitely about that. Sleep reduces anxiety and the right diet and exercise makes your body work properly and feel better about yourself. But you still need people in your life. Humans have always needed people, even if it's just seeing the one person every now and then.

I've tried and failed too, but I'm still thinking it through. I think I've tried but maybe I've only tried within my own depressed boundaries.

The thing about depression I've found is you (or at least I) don't remember a whole lot while you're depressed but you remember the stuff before and after it.

I got out of it years ago. Got a job, found some "friends", etc. but it only lasted for a year and I've regressed. I can't remember how I got out of it or why I'm back here. I do remember challenging myself to go outside every week, take the train to a shopping centre for a few hours. It probably improved from that. But I found people go out in groups more often now, loners do their shopping online. So it just feels worse when you're the only one alone.
Maybe this is my default or maybe I just got bored and lost meaning again.

Fine. It's fine.

Conservatives (especially religious ones) would see more of their goals met if they taught their ideals as being descriptive of a good society rather than as a normative praxis. IE, stable societies often feature strong gender roles and enforced monogamy but forcing that to come into being through violence or political repression is generally counterproductive. Kind of like the faith vs works debate in Christianity

>>12402036
>stable societies often feature strong gender roles and enforced monogamy
We live in the most stable societies in history and this is clearly not the case

I am at the point in my life when, I either try and fail, try and succeed, or don't try and definitely fail. Through years I only tried last option. I am terrified that I can't stop.

>>12402096
These are most certainly not stable societies

>>12402429
More stable than any before. Plus gender roles aren't objective

>>12401576
thank you for this

I'm piqued about the APA's (American Psychological Association) recent classification of "traditional masculinity" as a mental illness. The APA has been used as an ideological instrument before and this time it seems like it's coming back with a vengeance.
(Zizek has his finger on the pulse with this one https://www.rt.com/op-ed/448682-traditional-masculinity-toxic-universe/))

There's a degree of breathtaking ignorance involved with these supposedly educated people. This kind of decision damages the credibility of the field. It's quite clear that pathological behavior in males isn't the core of masculinity, and that there are many valuable things associated with traditional masculinity--bravery, self-sacrifice, honor, protectiveness, strength. Many male behaviors that appear pathological are the products of a context mismatch. If you live in a dangerous area, you need to be aggressive and tough or you are going to be taken advantage of. There are many more nuances to this that I won't detail here.

I firmly believe that all rational people have a duty to oppose the inverted totalitarianism of the radical left. Don't let the alt-right do the right thing the wrong way with their infantile manner of thinking and behaving.
There are no outlets for discussing the project of masculinity and how it fits into today's world. You either have the overcompensating insanity of the altright, or you have the overweening presumptuousness and anti-male hostility of the left. On both sides you have dangerous fanaticism.

If the west continues to poke and prod and diminish its males, the cultures outside of it that respect and acknowledge masculinity are going to take advantage of it.

There's also the simple biology of the matter. Natural selection favored males who were warlike and violent, conquerors and destroyers. A refined and advanced civilization as Freud and Lorenz recognized, no longer has need for this type of aggression and violence, or at least it needs to channel it into the few domains where it is strictly necessary. It's good for males to get in touch with their emotions, but their instincts also push them in other directions because of biology and that is the inexorable fact of the matter.

Where do I find a qt innocent gf who will sit and have coffee with me and listen to me talk about art?

>>12402749
BASED APA

Maybe it's a meme, but I really do see the appeal of the simple, more rural lifestyle.
Life is so complicated, we've made it so complicated. Technology, relationships, drama, politics, etc. It's too much for me sometimes.
I desire the simplicity, leaving behind everything, not that living that type of life is easy, but to me it seems more fulfilling.

I can't help but watch that primitive technology channel on youtube, or this incredible Chinese girls channel and feel envious of them.
I live in a suburb, I life in the most comfortable and materially wealthy time of human history, I have access to immense pleasures and sources of dopamine, yet I feel empty and every day I feel more and more disconnected from myself.
Perhaps it's just a grass is greener situation, but it really feels bigger than that

>>12402789
>or this incredible Chinese girls channel

the one with fishing?

>>12402789
Suburbs sound awful desu, worst of both worlds

>>12402810
Maybe?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMRiUPzp0RY
This girl
>>12402821
They are. I've also lived in the city and also lived up in these mountains on sort of farmland. The latter is my favorite place I've lived. It was far up in the mountains, there was no cell service, so no texting or calling. It was quiet and beautiful, tons of wildlife, ranchers, great weather, I miss it

>>12402778
Art clubs

Seriously, I was lonely and friendless in my first few months of university until I began joining clubs (namely the Christian meetup one and a few others) and now I’ve made many close friends. You don’t even have to join, just walk in and check everything out for a short while.

>>12402842
What if you already graduated

>>12402839
no, I was thinking of this girl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH-MBZZy3YY

>>12402036
what's this image even originally from? what's the "slut brainwash" she's listening to

>>12403506
2017 Manchester Bombing

>>12398747
what makes a bad teacher?

I think I'm falling for the post-left anarchypill. I'm just so sick of all this talk of "late capitalism" and how it's totally gonna end eventually. They're more annoying than end-times Christians at this point.

>>12403839
read this
https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/anonymous-desert

>>12403839
Mutualism-Georgism

Today was the birthday of an aunt or something of mine. It took place by a river. A cousin I had never seen before was there. I imagined myself reading Ulysses to her, sitting on the rocks. I wished the kids would jokingly say she was my girlfriend, and she would blush, but they never did that. I taught her how to stone skip (really did that, I'm nothing dreaming this up). I wonder if will ever see her again.
She's possibly underage though.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2F-DItXtZs

Gonna finally give up and make a discord I think. Maybe I can find some people to talk with and feel a little less lonely.

>>12404058
just go on irc instead discord is wack

>>12404061
I've never seen an irc server that isn't dead as fuck or dedicated to some specific tech thing

>>12404069
go join #philosophy on EFnet, there's always people in there, they don't actually talk about philosophy because that got boring decades ago, but they're literate

>>12403803
Someone who doesn't like teaching.

Gonna take a break from alcohol for a while and see if I can tolerate myself

>>12391192
i want to fuck the news lady in the butt.

I guess I can live. I guess I can live with this.

I missed an opportunity to get to know a really nice girl before she left to study abroad for the semester and it fills me with regret.

>>12391192
I went to visit my friends today about an hour away. Forgot to check the weather radar and ran into the second part of a massive snowstorm driving back. Had to focus 100% of the time on not slipping off the road and getting myself killed.

For that hour and a half I was truly alive for the first time in a while, more than I've ever felt on /lit.

>>12404250
glad you're safe anon

I am so tired, friends. I'm currently listening to Birth of Day and thinking about this awful cyber dystopia we live in. I hate that I'm too weak to cease my internet addiction, I hate this endless ennui that I feel, and I hate that I can't believe.

yo i just had a captcha of traffic and the motorcycle had two front wheels what the hell was that

>>12391192
I turned in my phone. No more contract, staarted charging me more money to be contractless. Still had to buy my phone, even though I've pumped more into "renting" my phone than it's actual worth. Buying my phone wouldn't decrease my monthly payments. Been thinking about getting rid of the damn thing because of our dependency on them. Don't need insta, don't need SC, don't need FB, don't need tinder, don't need pointless mobile games. I'm buying a shitty nokia or something so people can call me and send me texts. Heck, I might even get something that can also take okay pics. I'll buy a shuffle or something for music. I deleted my steam. Then I reinstalled it. I need to unload sometimes. I just want to draw and write more. I lost a lot of motivation after leaving the military, and for the first time since the iphone 1 came out I feel unburdened by not having the freedom a pocket computer by my balls roasting them constantly.

>>12402789
I DON'T MEAN TO SEEM LIKE I CARE ABOUT MATERIAL THINGS LIKE A SOCIAL STATUS

I JUST NEED FOUR WALLS AND ADOBE SLATS FOR MY GIRLS

>>12402789
get into welding school
get a 60's or older sa 200
practice downhill welding for a year
get on with the pipeline
make 400k a year
buy 120 acres with a cabin
learn to hunt and fish
read books by a comfy wood burner while you eat away your retirement after 10 years of working non stop.

anyone here have a fetish for autoerotic asphyxiation,wanna hear how i almost pass out yesterday with the belt on?

>>12404360
I actually know how to weld and worked as one before
>after 10 years of working non stop.
sigh. This is the problem. We're paying with years off our life

>>12404407
It's the cost for everything in our lives, anon. Everything good, everything bad, and everything in between. That's why we must make the best of it. 10 years of hard work is a great investment.

>>12402778
Why the fuck are you asking us?

i hate this board

Think I'll try to kill myself by the end of March.

okay not the thread to spam but Newfag here. Recommend me some books on the insights of human nature. Particularly I want a take on the daily struggles of human beings in general. We are not born equal in ability but despite this we keep on striving for something i.e. Ideals, money and power. Those who have it all iq, looks, ability etc and those who strive for such ideals. I find this "struggle" questionable as in if I have everything why should I strive for something better?

I was halfway to the bathroom when the lights went out. I came to a stop with a sudden jolt of surprise. The brief moment of panic quickly subsided as my mind realized it was a blackout. The house had become very quiet, I could hear the walls settling, and the heater spinning down. It was cold, no matter how many times I checked that the windows were closed properly there always seemed be a draft in here. The hair on my skin was standing on end, and my skin felt coarse as it stole the heat from my hands. I felt my way along the wall until I found the doorframe, and swung the door open slowly. Despite the creaking sound it made when opened this way, I was weary of any sudden movement, taking my time to be aware of everything in my surroundings. Something doesn't feel right about moving too quickly in the dark. I tried the light switch, to see if it would turn on, it didn't. 1/?

Does the unique or truly individual even exist? Everything and everyone is a copy of a copy and the only way to be unique is to simply do your own take on whatever it is.

Does that make sense? Am I wrong?

>>12404387
perverts and adulterers aren't allowed on lit

>>12391550
Mein Nigger

>>12404274
>If you want to blame another, by all means do, but understand what it does. It puts you in a place of being a victim and it denies your authority. So know that you are the one choosing

>>12391755
I can relate, anon. In my case, a nasty concussion changed my physiology to the point where I simply couldn't fall asleep. That was nearly a decade ago. I'm now legally disabled and still dealing with the consequences of my injury. On certain days, I don't feel handicapped. I feel like the young man I used to be. I'm sure the same goes for you.

My advice: make the very most of your good days. Write a story; paint a picture; express your gratitude to the people who haven't deserted you. Honour the vestiges of your former self whenever you get the chance. But know that you must, too, reinvent yourself. You may not have the same potential you used to, but that is no reason to prevent yourself from accomplishing what you can as you person you are now.

I say this as a man who has also seen the abyss.

Godspeed.

>>12404387
No one wants to hear about your depraved fetishes.

What's worse; being an unwanted child, or being unable to live up to your parent's expectations?

>>12405225
The latter. Parents with high expectations typically pour tons of their resources into helping their children succeed -- whereas thoughtless parents leave their children to flounder.

As I get older and I keep reading and I keep learning I find myself more and more disconnected from normal people and I find myself lonelier and with less to talk about than I somehow did as a retarded teenager and it is getting to the point where the intelligence and knowledge I used to value has made my life feel terrible and nearly inhuman

I spent years binge drinking and smoking weed trying to make myself stupider so I can relate to others and since I quit both at the start of the year, I have gone back to being hateful and angry, and to pass the time I throw myself into art and more literature hoping the feeling of bettering myself will somehow shake off the disconnect but it isn't working it's only making it harder

Last night I went out looking for a fight hoping someone would beat me until I was concussed and I could find something rewarding in a conversation with another human again. Tonight I will do it again and the night after until I'm either a normal human being or dead

I hate my brain my brain cells have been cancerous from the day I was born

>>12391772
i don't know the context but my heart goes out to you, anon. i've been there.

I've got quite a bit more muscular over the past year and now none of shirts fit.
I'm still a skeleton though, but my frame itself is thin so I don't know if I'll ever not be.

>>12391192
I fucking hate people. Humanity is a disappointment. I can't remember the last time I was happy. I want to die.

>>12391764
>>12391772
>tfw Donald Trump posts on the chan
we love you Mr. President, don't give up hope :)

not feeling it today

mind is empty rn

I want to help this store I go to with their social media stuff (and work there in general because I need a job) but they won't hire me.

damn man i always have the worst fap fortunes, like when u spill jizz and everything fuckin reeks, or just as u nutting u hear ur roommate is home after all, etc., fuck my life man i just wanna fappit in peace u feel me

If I could spend hours out of my day, years of my life, invest all of my time and energy into into it, I would give away my worthless life, and meaningless achievements to fall down in the sidewalk in front of you to scuff the sole of your shoe on my forehead.

I want to experience the emotions I think I should experience. I'm reading plato and just dont understand a lot of points, or if I do I forget them really quickly. I just want to have the same desire to learn about philosophy that others have, but it's still so easy for me to back up and close myself off. This also applies to other areas of my life. Makes me feel like a robot when I don't get these things. :(

Sometimes I like a quote, once in a while I'll remember one. But there's one that I find keeps coming into my head in day to day life. "There is nothing more valuable than a young woman, and nothing more worthless than a young man"