/lit/ - Literature

2½ books in after 3 days of reading. I didn't realize she was such a little witch with a capital B.

i just want a Hermione gf pls

>>12389289
>>12388134
What is the appeal of Hermione?

She was never attractive to me. She's a Mary Sue.

I always liked Gina more, not only for her name implies virginity and purity, but also for the fact she has earned my esteem in a series as devoid of wonder as the Harry Potter series. She is a reminder of a simple time of brave heroes saving virginal damsels from distressing monsters. Her entire arc revolves around a seven books long quest for Harry's Pock, which she begins to desire after being saved by the Boy Who Lived more than a handful of times. This is why I so deeply desire her, for I always hated Harry Potter, and wished to see the Boy Who Live cry as I defile his beloved princess. That would be a vengeance for the horrible fate that his mother has brought upon me.

I've always fantasized about introducing Gina to my Chamber of Secrets, proceeding to bewilder her with the perverted memories of my diaries, filled with the most precise descriptions of all the treatments that I'd submit her to until I made her into my own broken wench. I imagine her toying with her wand in sinful manner, desiring to be the meal of my Basiliscus, and begging all night for a way to open the Chamber of Secrets so that she'd come me.

I'd let Harry get in the Chamber, giving away my chance of ressurrection just so that he watched me exposing his sweetheart and sister of his best friend for the whore that she truly is.

Anyone else has this mind destruction desire?

>>12389741
It was never clarified what was written in the diaries, so I am willing to believe they were an erotica.

That would explain why Gina couldn't stop reading.

I have never read Harry Potter, and every time I tell a cute girl about it she laughs at my face every time. They must think I'm illiterate or something! They make me feel so ashamed, so aware of my literary shortcomings in regards to what kind of authors I read (dead religious white guys). How come I haven't read the most important series of novels of the 21st century? Am I really that ignorant?

>>12389791
I haven't read it neither.

Just lie, Anon.

Life is too short for the truth. Tell them you're an avid fan, as that is an easy way to the carnal desires that they'll let you satisfy with their bodies.

Haven't you read Pynchon?

>>12390017
No, i tought hes a meme

Why is there a Harry Potter thread on this board? Almost in every thread I see people asking/recommending non fiction, or classical fiction, philosophy, metaphysical works, stuff that normies don't read. And then there is bottom of barrel stuff like Harry Potter, what's more, everything that is in between HP and the Classics is often completely disregarded! This makes absolutely no sense to me

>>12389741
The appeal of Hermione is actually the appeal of Emma Watson.

>>12390118
He is. We love memes here on 4channel. wtf are you doing here if you don't like memes?

>>12389791
It's a pretty big deal as far as pop culture goes, and a nice little story but from a literary standpoint, they're kinda shit. My major complaint is that she's horrible at worldbuilding.
Imagine you've just read Lord of the Rings. You loved it, and you thought all those little references to stuff like Gondolin and Numenor, and other places you don't ever see did a great job of casting the illusion of a world bigger than it was.
The Sillma-what now? Never heard of it.
So what you're going to do is the same thing you read in those books, drop bits of lore about other countries without bothering to try to make sense of it, not like it matters and there's not thousands of autists that will pour over every detail.
And then you finish your book and some kids really liked it, so you get a book deal and then it all snowballs from there, so 15 years later you're still dropping bits of lore that adds up to horrible implications and forcing your politics on paople because they don't have as much money as you so they don't really matter.

Luna was best girl, by the way.

>>12390174
>The appeal of Hermione is actually the appeal of Emma Watson.
People wish they were Harvey Weinstein and had defiled her?

>>12390267
I mean, she's not my first choice, but I wouldn't mind it.

>>12390158
>And then there is bottom of barrel, everything that is in between completely disregarded!

Romantic stuff like Twilight is the bottom of the barrel. Where HP hovers in between that and LOTR.

For me it's the beginning of a new year and for once I'm going to read something fun and/or take a break before I get back to philosophy.

>>12390158
sffg is leaking

>>12388134
Yesterday I caught the second half of The Order of Phoenix on the telly. I hoped it would make me nostalgic, but it was a pretty meh experience in the end. And I liked the third film when I rewatched it recently (I haven't read or watched the films for like eight, nine years).

>>12388134
No

>>12389741
lmao

>>12388134
Never read the books really. I read a couple hundred pages of Order of the Phoenix once because I’d just watched the movies and my older sister lent me the book on a long drive.

I also was obsessed with movie hermione for a while. Say what you will, Hogwarts especially Halloween and Christmas time, seem super comfy. Having Hermione as your girlfriend, sitting in the library together studying under warm candlelight, with snow falling outside, that’s the peak right there.

https://youtu.be/Q5bFtN4TK_0

>>12389741
>virginity
>literally dating a nigger

Right on.

>>12389791
Watch a couple of the (comfy) films and read a synopsis of the last books twists and plot.

These days I only read AU fanfics.

Why does every girl I trynna date go HP IS THE BEST SAGA UWU BEST THING I READ UWU

>>12393610
Because they're right.
A 100,000 years from now, the only books people will remember from our time will be the Bible and Harry Potter

>>12393626
ok cuck

>>12393556
got a couple good ones?

>>12393610
date other girls then, anon.

>>12393681
I'm afraid they'll leave me again anon

>>12393686
or you'll leave them. or you'll end up together.
dating is the process until you hopefully find the one you'll stay with. until then, of course it's gonna be nothing but failure.
you'll have to accept that

>>12388134
>>12389741
How do I become Tom Riddle? I'm a top student at a top university and am considered quite good looking, but what forbidden knowledge in the muggle world must i study to reach his power levels?

>>12393722
"Mein Kampf"

How many marines would you need to storm Hogwarts and kill everybody? If everyone in Hogwarts knew they were coming and had 6 hours to prepare, but had no way of escaping or calling in reinforcements.

Let's say the marines have no air support or artillery, but otherwise it's fair game. What's the minimum number of infantry/armor that it would take to make storming Hogwarts a mop-up operation? Could they even do it?

Also, we're assuming the objective is to kill every living thing in Hogwarts, no prisoners.

>>12393745
You have to be 18 to post here.

>>12393754
No you don't. There are lots of underage girls on /soc/ if you know how to look.

>>12393745
have you seen the last movie with the shield that literally turns people to dust?
you can forget it, no chance they'd even get inside.

>>12393626
this but unironically

>>12393722
Good question anon. What is the dark knowledge/magic of our times?

>inb4 occult
be more creative anons

>>12393722
>>12393781

I suppose it would be a mixture of some sort of radical deconstructivism / materialism, from where you can deduce moral nihilism, since humans are just a bag of chemicals and pain and suffering is just electricity and so on.
Then maybe extensive psychology to manipulate people, good looks and all that.
After that, economy and knowledge of how to make money in the most ruthless way possible

>>12393781
or maybe how much you can actually get away with easily if you put in the work and don't care for others.
killing hookers and hobos and selling their organs on the black market

>>12393758
Speculating on some dumb hypothetical from this inane fantasy series is...

>No you don't. There are lots of underage girls on /soc/ if you know how to look

can you show me how?

>>12393847
What's wrong with speculating? The books keep the wizards insulated from the muggle world but show a lot of conflict and struggle between them. It's interesting to me to wonder how muggles would react to modern weaponry and coordinated attempts to kill them rather than wizard battles.

>>12393847

>>12393722
Being redpilled on the JQ

>>12393963
I already am anon

>>12393673
carnivorous muffin's stuff is pretty fun imo, though it tries too hard sometimes

>>12393963
back to /pol/, please.

>>12388134
What's the best Harry Potter book guys?
For me, it's the Half-Blood Prince

I'll keep the tab for these thread until the pasta the deh and the kerry are posted.
do not disappoint /lit/

>>12389791
They're fun. I have to admit I could never hate or be critic with them since there's a profound sense of nostalgia. Even though, HP is such an important part of pop culture you can't miss it. It's like not having watched Star Wars

>>12388134
her legs...

>>12394154
back to /r/reddit, please

>>12394722
This too

>>12393745
Impossible. They can create food from thin air, cast impervious shields on their bodies and the castle, teleport around, cast death rays, make themselves thimble-sized, summon ghost-warriors to fight for them. There's just too many tricks.

>>12394722
>>12395728
why would anyone want to read a copypasta about one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King

>>12396248
deh!

>>12396257
based deh! poster

>>12396248
>Perhaps the die was cast

>>12396248
>>12396257
>>12396263
it took a long time but in the end all was well with the world

>>12396248
What the fuck is this and why did someone make it

>>12396277
It's pasta, do you like it?

reply to this post if you hate women

how beta would it be for me (a 19 year old college student) to this read this series?

>>12393963
voldemort is basically muh nazi, so i guess
kind of boring though

>>12397047
If you want to read it, read it. If you don't like the first book don't have to continue the series. If you enjoy it, good. I haven't read them but I've seen all the films. I did buy the first book for my mother because she enjoys those kind of books, I mean accessible and not grim, and if I don't buy books for her she might buy romance novels and I like to see her reading those less than I like to see her reading children's classics or YA.

>>12393626
This but ironically

>>12393673
Black Luminary is my current favorite.

>>12389791
They're quite an easy read, I'd say go for it as they're very cute and on some occasions entrancing. You could do one a day and be done with it in a week, they're not particularly complex in language

>>12393781
If you could truly make yourself a sociopath then that'd be it, just reading soul crushing material and accounts of human atrocity until all that's left in you is rage - provided you have enough to hang on to life

>>12393859
They call guns "a sort of want that muggles kill each other with" which does imply they haven't ever been effectively turned on wizard kind, even when they were feuding

>>12397047
>>12399782

i was once trying to talk to a coworker about literary theory hoping to instigate a pseud duel to see who would reign supreme, but she said "lol i dont really read much except maybe some harry potter" that conversation still gives me slightly suicidal feelings, mainly because i think the way i feel about her is how smart people must feel when they run into a pseud like me, it's just pseuds all the way down until u get to the harry potter shitter at the bottom

>>12399799
How do I do this but for Grindelwald? Sociopaths are boring and 1-dimensional

>>12392458
Why were you obsessed with movie hermione?

>>12390158
>normies
Cringe & go back to /r/4chan. I'd unironically take 10 Harry Potter threads over every classics thread filled with nothing but illiterate pseuds arguing based on Cliffnotes and Simple English Wikipedia or "philsophy" threads with /pol9k/ autists endlessly regurgitating misinformed prefab meme opinions.

>>12388134
False dichotomy. You are a pseud and will be hanged too.

>>12399871
Meant for >>12399852

>>12399852
Which house did you get sorted into?

>>12399941
Gryffindor anon

>>12397047
Some trends die after a week and some go on for a year. The last Harry Potter book was written in 2007 but people were dressed up like this for Halloween this past year. I can't tell you what the deal is; but somethings up...

>>12400068
Just a symptom of Manchild Syndrome perverse with Millenials. Harry Potter is dead for Zoomers.

Also, we've seen the reemergence of Harry Potter this past year because of the new release of the Fantastic Beast series.

>>12393722
>How do I become Tom Riddle?
>tfw know that feel
Boy was smooth as butter. Honestly the greatest appeal of HP as a franchise is the self insertion possibilities. Choose your house, or even a different school, choose your specialisation, choose your battle strategy, choose your side in the war (dark, npc, shadow supporter, order, auror, spy, double spy, etc). The story itself isn't particularly thrilling, the only one worth reading is the third novel. It's the world you want. It's like an RPG but in your head, with one of the largest fanbases of anything. No matter what you want there's a fanfiction about it, fanart, theories, discussions, wikis. (I've seen screenshots from a game but haven't played it, probably sucks.) It's the world's largest d&d group, with no autistic ruleset and a general storyline to start out with.
The original novel was targeted at kids in abusive/neglectful households who wanted escapism. The purpose is self insertion as a means of escapism, and HP does that very well. You can say the plot has more holes than swiss cheese and the characters are flatter than the paper they're printed on, doesn't matter, that was never the purpose of HP. There's nothing comfier than fantasizing about going to a magic school and embarking on a quest to become a master level wizard in whatever discipline you like best.
Also Slytherin best House.
>>12400084
Newt is /our autist/. I watched the movies and they're not bad, not good but not bad. Shame the book by that name is a dictionary style fantasy reference on a bunch of shit no one cares about, not a story like I expected. Funny how the series is more enjoyable when Rowling isn't the one writing it.

>>12393722
Nick Land, Singulatarianism, Efelism, Dark enlightenment, Grey goo collapsing meatspace, Hard take of, universal computing, Culture of critque, conspiracy against the human race, Fanged noumena, Lykizzda

>>12388134
"No"
- /lit/

>>12400084
>Harry Potter is dead for Zoomers.
Yet, you're here posting in the Harry Potter thread. Come on, you're not fooling anyone.

>>12400192
>Singulatarianism
>Dark enlightenment
These seem to be contradictory anon - are you just recommending anon to read the most esoteric works now?

>>12393722
Industrial society and its future
Some Anarcho primitive books and survival guides
Perhaps Evola and Jung to have an occult look on your life philosophy
Textbooks of anatomy, basic chemistry, pharmacology

>>12400192
>Lykizzda
what is this? some deranged, sexually abused jewish redditor?

https://www.reddit.com/user/Lykizzda/

>>12390174
This tbqh. Hermione of the movies is nothing like her character in the books, and isn't particularly cute, sexy, interesting or likeable. The main reason men in their 20s and 30s like her is because they grew up with her and (because most men are very susceptible to that kind of thing) developed a surrogate emotional bond with her. I'd say most men under thirty have fantasized about her at some point in a more than sexual way.

>>12400235
>Industrial society and its future
This. The true redpill is realizing that the entire technoindustrial system is fundamentally corrupt. The paleolithic revolution and the creation of technology was the forbidden fruit that removed mankind from the Garden of Eden.

>>12393754
Miserable cunt detected. Hating fun won't make you more successful or serious than anyone else, I'm afraid.

Deletus Fetus

>>12399871
>dichotomy
I never said those those examples were an exhaustive list of all /lit/ posts. Incidentally, you're exactly the type of sub 90 iq mongoloid mindlessly parroting poorly understood buzzwords I was talking about. Fuck off back to your political subreddit and stay there.

>>12399980
Ravenclaw here

>>12400289
Luna is best girl

>>12400980
found the pseud

>>12391467
The only Harry Potter movies that I actually enjoy watching nowadays are Philosopher's Stone, CoS and Prisoner. Goblet of Fire onwards it becomes dullest

The first two have that overwhelming feeling to them, and give a lot of time and love towards building the magical world, it's just comfykino, while Prisoner of Azkaban did an extremely good job of adapting the le edgy grimdark story

Bookwise, my favourite is Order of the Phoenix

>>12401783
If we Ravenclaw are the pseuds, then who are the true intellectuals?

inb4 Centaurs

>>12393745
just casually drop a MOAB on the castle and call it a day

>>12400980
my nigga
/ravensquad/

>>12401842
literally Hufflepuff

who was the one chosen for the Tournament? That's right, jacked big-brained ultrachad Cedric Diggory McThundercock

>>12393626
>100,000 years from now
lmao, are you braindead or something?

>>12400289
this. I remember reading Philosopher's Stone back in 1999 and had a JUST-tier image of her in my head. Frizzy-ass hair, bucktoothed and bossy, no way that'd look cute.

Then the movie came out and the only one of the main cast that actually looked like a perfect adaptation of its book counterpart was Ron

>>12401902
What's wrong with Daniel Radcliffe?

Also, Rupert is a manlet when Ron is supposed to be tall

>>12399835
Basically what I said before. I recognize it was quite pitiful and a bit embarrassing, but I have always fantasized about things like that, even though I'm relatively normal in real life. Hogwarts has quite a nice aesthetic, J.K. Rowling is a limited writer though and my brief forays into the books have always been a bit disappointing.

My reasons are first, that obviously, Emma Watson was very attractive, second, I admired her bookishness, and I always would crush on the attractive and academically successful girls in school. Third, Hermione is the type of character who I imagine being very clingy and protective of the person she loves, which attracted me. Fourth, I just think falling in love for the first time in an old Hogwarts style boarding school, in winter and fall, away from family, sounds very romantic and nice.

>>12402030
did your parents touch you anon? it's not your fault

>>12402030
t. incel

>>12402056
t. fantasized about Dumbledore

We've already established that Luna is best girl.

>>12402086
why is she best girl? best girls aren't emo girls

>>12388134
Do you think there have ever been Wizards that were part of the Crips/Bloods? are Crip-Blood magic drive bys canon?

>>12402090
>emo
>Luna Lovegood
>emo
Just because we're on /lit/ I expected users to have a grasp of the English language. My bad.
>>12390158
Because we restrain all bad taste to the science fiction and fantasy general.

>>12402305
What's wrong with using emo anon?

>>12402430
She isn't "emo" you retard. Go watch a black veil brides music video or something. Luna is a dopey hippy weirdo and a happy go lucky "free spirit", about the furthest thing from emo.
Now stop using words if you don't know their meaning.

>>12402056
>>12402061
You would think I was an incel from that lol, I don’t blame you, but I’m actually not a virgin (and I don’t mean my parents molested me, I mean I had sex with an honest to goodness woman that wasn’t related to me) and I have had a couple girlfriends, one lasted a year and a half.

My parents basically didn’t show any love towards each other and often fought. My dad was verbally abusive and would shout at his children. Also very sexually repressive and all my siblings were much older than me. Not the worst upbringing but if you couple that stuff with being chronically poor and with a family history of mental illness, it wasn’t the best one either.

>>12402691
A ravenclaw lass supporting gryffindor against slytherin. /our/ girl

>>12402707
And now you're here, with me!

>>12389791
Get the audiobooks and listen to them while driving or doing something else.

>>12400192
Is this legit anons?

>>12395779
They can't create food from thin air

>>12393781
The Keys of Enoch

>>12388134
What part of GET THE FUCK OUT you dont understand?

>>12402030
> Third, Hermione is the type of character who I imagine being very clingy and protective of the person she loves, which attracted me.
>and I always would crush on the attractive and academically successful girls in school.

t.oedipus

>>12406069
whats this anon