/lit/ - Literature

>>12246688

>"Tell me darling, did you know that the word jest means joke?"

>>12246696
No it doesn't anon, haha you're so cute!

>>12246688
nose ring, disqualified

>>12246688
>is that a copy of Infinite Jest?

Yeah I need some fresh toilet paper

>>12246701
winged eyeliner, reinstated

>>12246703
haha yes the ole popular-thing-is-bad-eroo, very tasteful move

>>12246688
>only if you're paying and my wife can come

>>12246710
IJ is both liked by many and disliked by many.

>>12246713
>Hey guys, nice thread here, just so you know I have a wife

last two digits are probability of your firstborn child having autism

>>12246731
go back

>>12246708
If she had a gap in her front teeth she would be perfect

>>12246703
Okay, this is epic

>>12246731
ynr anons make shit up on here all the time but yes I have a wife, and I hope you find one too if you like that

>>12246688
>no thank you, I have a girlfriend

>>12246794
you too I hope your firstborn doesn't actually have autism anon

>>12246688
If you would have said bourbon and cigars, then sure. But coffee tastes like shit and is for retards

>>12246845
>If you would have
wow, didn't even realize I had a pet peeve

>>12246814
A good friend of mine is a high functioning dyslexic with added aspergers. He's a programmer and has a few quirks. He basically can't read much but he usually buys me books for birthdays and stuff which is actually pretty wonderful of him come to think of it.
I know there's a lot of real autists that hang out on the chins and they're alright too except for when I'm playing dirty tricks and subterfuge against certain types that like to invade from certain other non-4channel boards and the dumbarses give the game away because they notice it - the trick - but don't realise it's a planned move. That's cool though, they keep me in line I suppose and their intentions are sincere.

>>12246854
>He basically can't read much but he usually buys me books for birthdays

That's really cute, anon.

>>12246785
is this a mac demarco joke?

>>12246688
Uh, I can't discuss it. I only bought it so I would look cool on 4chan, I don't plan on reading it.

No, that's a copy of Plato's symposium
And no, I'm going to discuss Hegel's dialectics with the little boy living next door.

>>12246688
your favorite book but you haven't suicide yet fucking skizoid

>>12246688
Gain about 100 pounds and fill your ass with B R A P S and maybe we'll talk

She is 100% carrying around a copy of Harry Potter.

>>12246688
>lol it this fr you fav book hahahah what a brainlet, get the fuck out of my face pseud

>>12246688
>Let's make that a cup of ginger tea, luv.

>>12246703
A bit harsh !

>>12246914
Which house was she sorted into?

>>12246688
No. I don't talk to roasties.

>>12246688
Is this really your idea of a desirable woman? *cringes*

>>12246958
Ravenclaw, shes not timid enough to be hufflepuff (hence approaching you) , she's not edgy enough to be slytherin and doesn't appear to have as much decorum as gryffindor.

God i hate Harry Potter...

>>12246688
Please don't look at me in the eyes like that.

Are 420 friendly? Do you do anal? Otherwise gtfo

>>12246688
Literally kill me right now

>>12246884
lost it

"w-what are you talking about, this is a copy of the Lotus Sutra, why are you talking to me?"

>>12246701
this. OP can you try and actually pick a suitable girl next time that might actually be tempting to go out on a date with.

>>12246688
>"show benis"
>"come back"

>>12246703
whoa..

>>12246688
If I'm just buying it now then I probably haven't read it yet, you dumb thot

“No it’s actually a copy o-“
“OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME. RAPEEEEEEEEEEE. #METOO.”

>>12247453
say no more

>>12247490
How sad is it to be you?

What does talking to a girl feel like?

>>12246688

Threads like this make me thing that this board is either populated by people in their teens (or people in their twenties who for some reason have skipped some fundamental steps in adolescence and therefore still act as if in their teens) or some AI reproducing teen thought, because the possibility of such an interaction only exist in a teenager mind. A person with a minimal life experience would think about ways to chat her up and have an active approach, i.e. he would think about how he can get control over the situation through his own actions rather than confuse partnership with another human being for unconditioned maternal love (as a teenager would do). When you'll substitute the fantasy of being talked to and taken care of with the fantasy of talking to and take care of, you will be ready for a relationship with another human being.

>>12247490
Good lord.

>>12247490

I know loneliness must be very hard, but it will get better as you grow up.

>>12246701
based and redpilled

>>12247655
>A person with a minimal life experience would think about ways to chat her up and have an active approach, i.e. he would think about how he can get control over the situation through his own actions rather than confuse partnership with another human being for unconditioned maternal love
Future Elliott Rodger right there

>>12247655
>partnership vs unconditional love
your the reason divorce rates are so high and so many kids are turning to the state to act as daddy. you might want your partnership but animals want what they want and reason is no guide but a negation and that merely an addiction similar to cutting oneself like a teenaged lesbian. Rationalism is dead. Long may it rest. We be animals now mother fucker.

>>12246731
rolling

>>12247490
legitimate kek

>>12246703

>>12246696
based

>>12247759

No animal gives nor wants unconditional love, unless they are in a state of total need and dependency upon others, like kids and puppies are.

>>12246688
Just something about her that makes me want to bend her over and plow her while she's reading Harry Potter.

>>12246845
>bourbon and cigars
What are you a rich guy from the turn of last century?

>>12246968
*cringes*

>>12246713
>only if you're paying and the nigger bull who fucks my wife can come

>>12248150
holy based

>>12246731
roll

>>12246688
>nosering
Yikes!

>>12246688
I RECEIVED SOCIAL CUES DIRECTING ME TO CONSUME THIS PRODUCT

I NOTICE THAT YOU ALSO CONSUME THIS PRODUCT

MY PROGRAMMED BIAS IS EVALUATING YOU AS A POTENTIAL RESOURCE PROVIDER

MORE INFORMATION REQUIRED

MAYBE I'LL LET YOU THROW A LOAD DOWN MY HORMONALLY DISABLED WOMB IF YOU ADHERE TO THE MEDIA-INSTILLED IDEAL

>>12246845
Coffee tastes great, so does dark chocolate. You have a shit child’s palette

>>12247638
Well you see anon that depends on the girl

>>12247655
no shit but do you know where you are

>>12246701
>actually being this fuxking shallow.
You'll stay a virgin forever like that

>>12246688
>>do you want to go discuss it over some coffee?

I haven't read it yet have I, you dozy cunt.

>>12246696
kek

Are guys supposed to put as much work as women in to appearance? I feel inadequate, like why would they bother with me, when they're putting on makeup, spending time on their hair, and putting together an outfit every morning.

I shower, shave, run a little product through my hair with my fingers and throw on whatever pair of jeans is clean and a shirt at random.

>>12250716
Traps put in a lot of effort

>>12247490

based

>>12246688
>I haven't read it yet, can't you see I'm in a book store buying it? Also you look like a trap, grow some milkers first if you want to talk to me, because I take my coffee white.

The bookstore is recycled books in Denton, TX. Its an old opera house coverted into a bookstore, three storeys and over a hundred years old. I went in there on coke one time and freaked everyone out

>>12247490
Based.
>>12247568
>>12247656
>>12247671
Cringe.

>>12246688
screaminggosling.jpg

>>12247655
The adults who browse /lit/ usually don't post in these threads. I only even opened it out of morbid curiosity.

>>12246703
>cue long post about people being mean/weird
>make a video about new people visiting my channel
>realize i was the joke
>finally erase the channel but leave only one extra-sad goodbye message
you are all horrible people ! ! !

>>12247490
You go girl. Say it louder for the people in the back. Yaaaaaaaas.

>>12246700
The only positive adjective that girls have used to describe my looks is cute.
But they say it in a completely non-sexual manner. They mean cute like a child or puppy, not "I would fuck that cute boy".
It makes me feel good for a second, then I realise what they meant, and feel like shit.
If an attractive girl called me cute in a sexually flirtatious way, my penis would expand to epic proportions.

>>12250647
i'm 14 and this is deep

cringe

>>12247490
The internet is not a substitute for home, friend. Please seek out shelter back in reality when you next can.

There's a shitty Hollywood movie about campus life where the protagonist's favorite book is Infinite Jest. It's riddled with infuriating cliches but Lizzie Olsen plays the lead female so it's worth a view

>>12250647
>vegan shirt
>beside a chicken

wow thats some uhhh what is the message here how could she do such a thing

Sorry, short hair on girls is fuckin gay

>>12246688
nice try
but this is literally impossible, faggot op

>>12246710
R E D D I T
E E D D I T
D D D D I T
D D D D I T
I I I I I T
T T T T T T

>>12246688
>awkwardly avoids eyes contact
>"haha, no i'm alright, I have to be home soon.. my uuhhh, cousins are over."
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>12251997
Fuck, I always use fake cousin stories to get out of stuff

>>12246688
>oh you know, my annotated copy is on my nightstand, you wanna go look?

I forget where it's from, but there's a quote about how every guy has a copy on their nightstand to impress girls

>>12252065
That quote is from countless bitter college educated women who have no right criticizing those types of guys given that they’ve allowed themselves to fall for the shtick numerous times

>>12250647
cringy post my friend!
well done

>>12246688
waht