/lit/ - Literature

>>12235402
I wish someone would write it already instead of all of us just wanting to

>>12235402
what books are you referencing? be specific please

>>12235435
The diaries of every anon on this website.

Why do I feel like this? I'm an attractive, healthy young man and I yearn for love, but I just can't engage romantically with other girls my age. I think I'm just entirely self absorbed to the point that I just can't find genuine interest in the lives of others outside of my family.

I talk to girls at work and school and on the bus quite often. Occasionally there will be a mutual sense of attraction, but whenever I try to pursue a relationship I just can't develop sincere interest or passion in their lives.

Any advice?

>>12235602
Feign passion or interest to delve further. It's really a numbers game

>>12235602
welcome to a schizoid existence

>>12235602
cont.
I feel entirely out of touch with the concept dating. I didn't talk to girls much at all during grade school due to insecurities and lack of confidence. Since then I have overcome these tendencies and have developed many meaningful relationships with women however never romantically. I have slept with a handful of women and, although I enjoyed in the moment, I later felt empty and further disconnected with these women. In fact, it seems as though once I sleep with a women I become even further disengaged with pursuing a real relationship with that woman.

keeping this saged because it's silly but I really would appreciate some advice. I just feel so lost.

>>12235610
>Feign passion
I've attempted this, really, even going as far as trying my best to convince myself of love, but sooner or later I just can't keep it up.
>It's really a numbers game
would you mind further explaining what you mean by this?
>>12235622
I sure hope not. I am fairly distant with my family but I do love them dearly. I live with my grandparents while I attend school. My grandfather has late stage cancer and will surely be passing soon. We are both fairly reserved individuals but there still exists a deep relationship, I think.

Would a psychologist be a good idea? I never really considered seeking one since I've always been fairly content. Thanks anons

>>12235602
>I just can't develop sincere interest or passion in their lives.

You operate at a different wavelength, anon, it’s very simple. You need a girl that can think like you or affects your thinking in some way, otherwise your disengage. It’s the same reason you get angry at people driving slow in your lane or why you hate reading ling winded front matter (im conjecturing here). You’re accustomed to a certain rate/speed by which stimuli affects you.

>>12235634

No advice but I just wanted to tell you that you expressed my own situation very well. You're not alone in feeling this way and your writing is good.

>>12235610
>>12235647
>Feign passion
Extending on this. I've tried this a couple times with women I really thought I could connect with. However, by the end, I feel terrible because it's as if I tricked them into thinking I love them.
>>12235651
Perhaps, anon, thanks. Patience may be the only answer.
It's a daunting idea. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to find such a woman, one that is entirely compatible with one's ideals. Oh well.

Does /lit/ know any good books for this feel. It's going to be a cold winter, I suppose.

>>12235683
Just wait 10 years before I publish my magnum opus, it's gonna be great.

>>12235402
Read a book about actual alienation

>>12235602
The majority of girls my age are alien beings to me, appearing infinitely immodest, crude, cruel, selfish, unaware, untalented, immoral. I have no way of knowing if this is a fair appraisal or a phantasm of my own design

>>12236086
You are just describing the run-off-the-mill young adult, independent of sex. I may get a bit exacerbated by princess never having had to face the harsh realities of existence, but mostly it's just about being a little shit.

>>12235634
Have you considered that you just might be homsexual? It's the conclusion I came to with myself when I had similar experiences.

>>12235402
what movie

>>12235634
you are immune to love?
your sane friend

>>12236199
you're
had to do it

>>12235602
Two answers here, either you are so far out you can’t connect or it’s narcissism, probably latter. For the first it’s just the matter of finding that one in a million, and the other, well you just have to fake being a human being capable of loving others for the rest of your life.

>>12235602
You're not alone, I have many acquaintances with girls but nothing ever really feels special or attractive about them, or it's not mutual. Apparently women mature faster than men but at my age the women I know have a bf or are just obsessed with uni grades and their own future. My parents were married at my age and I've never even been in a relationship. Am I just autistic and need to show interest and ask questions if I'm physically attracted to them...or do I do this stuff at a bar and not expect a relationship to come from uni. I'm not about to go to a bar anytime soon and I'm not interested in casual sex, d-d-d-d-doushiiyooooo

>>12235602
The word narcissism is too interwoven these days in the whole interpretive schema of “mental health”, so calling oneself a narcissist makes one believe that one’s fundamental existential mode is some fixed, partly developed from youth, partly genetically inherited, condition. Although this is certainly true for some people, it is not for most people; however, our zeitgeist doesn’t really show spiritual and existential change as a meaningful concept or possibility, so people get stuck in their ruts fatalistically thinking there is no way out.

That’s all a preamble to the main point, which is that love requires openness from you, and deep, authentic love requires openness from both you and your beloved. You say you had all these anxieties and insecurities but you learned to overcome them and can now be somewhat confident with women. That’s good, especially for meeting new ones, but love will require you to take the enormous risk of revealing that self you’ve covered up, by being open, and having it be received by your partner, who is also open. And vice versa: the movement goes both ways.

In your solipsism, you neutralize a prospective partner’s otherness and interiority so that you can maintain control over your self-conception, which you have built over top of your insecurities and “true” self. Being open to someone, allowing the law of their interpretation of reality, and the legitimacy of their subjectivity and emotional life, to impact and guide and affect you, is an affront to your freedom, and is dangerous. They could wreak havoc on the self you’ve built. They could control and manipulate you. They could take your faith and investment in them for granted, or, even worse, they could be indifferent to it, or, perhaps even worse, it could drive them away. Then, you’d have to face up to the fact that what was rejected wasn’t this constructed exterior that wasn’t really you, but rather what was rejected was your true self. How mortifyingly dangerous! And especially this in age, where keeping at a distance from “the encounter” and “the event” is the norm, and “commitment to an Other” seems like a quaint notion out of fairy tales: one commits only to oneself today, and blabs about oneself online. How impossible it is today to take the risk, to reveal ones true self, to leap over distance into commitment!

But love from your side will require that risky openness and that commitment to the Other: it will require you to emoathetically seek out the hidden secret strange interior of your beloved, and affirm it, and allow it to affect you and constrain your freedom. And the deep connection of true love will require that you find someone not only compatible with you in important basic ways (ie basic interpersonal style, basic values, etc), but also a person who is likewise willing to be open to your otherness, affirmative of your true self, and willing to take the leap of faith into committing to you.

>>12235634
>I didn't talk to girls much at all during grade school due to insecurities and lack of confidence. Since then I have overcome these tendencies
h-how

>>12235602
You want a partner equal to yourself. It's a terrible curse for many.

>>12236232
>machines will never be conscious, though. they'll only be wind-up puppets that look conscious

o-ok

>>12235634
It's good to know I'm not alone anon. We're identical in the things you named. I should mention that I've found solace in Christ, although I'm still far from anything that could be called righteous and doubt is something I wrestle with often.

>>12235418
I blog a lot.

>>12236179
Les amants du Flore (TV Movie 2006)

post cat pic as thanks

>>12236172
>>12236679
2018 vs 1018 the posts

>>12235602
Learn to code.

>>12236329
Not the one you replied to but what you wrote does resonate with me. Could you tell me where I can read about it more deeply? I sense some Kierkegaard, but are there any other authors?

>>12235602

After not dating for a couple years I got tinder a while ago and have gone on a ton of dates. My general takeaway is that it is an empty, vain existence. Although all the girls I met and hooked up with were attractive I truly could not connect with them on an emotional or intellectual level. I'm currently dating a girl who is I guess waay better than most of the ones off tinder but still, it took ages to find someone halfway decent.

tl;dr you're not missing out on much. Have sex and just get a dog for emotional health. Life is despair and suffering, it's meant to be this way. People who view it differently are deluded. You don't need to be a wrist cutting faggot about it, you can still enjoy life, but the truth is that all life is sorrowful (thanks Joseph Campbell) inb4 REEEE Jungians leave

>>12235602
You are a latent homosexual.

>>12235402
This hit a little too close to home, desu. Didn’t ask for these feels...

>>12236930

I mean it could be the best thing for him

>>12235402
sounds interesting, i'd read that. what was the title?

>>12236329
Damn, you did it nicely

>>12236702
not him but here you go

>>12237149
thanks i appreciate it

Thanks for the comfy thread guys
>>12236329
Very good, thank you anon.
This all hit very close to home. It really does sound scary, but I will take what you said to heart.
>>12236679
That's good to hear. I wish you the best of luck.

>>12235402
See you say this like it's a dig at /lit/ posters, bit that's actually a pretty good summary of The Goldfinch and it did very well.

>>12235602
You're a victim of how things work in modern society, alienated young men who can't establish relationships anymore. No real advice here.

>>12235622
Real schizoids avoid social relationships on purpose, to concentrate on themselves or their hobbies.

>>12236329
Nice samefagging you retard, your psot is actually complete shit.
Actually trying to say love is something entirely contrived is beyond embarassing.
Anon's solipsistic shell shrouded by his own believed superiority over others shouldn't need to be forcefully opened to prove he is wrong; love itself will do that. Love is the greatest force unto man
Love that stems from within him will open up his closed off reclusive mind and prove him he wants to know this girl beyond just eyes and lips. "Stop being a dialectic and actually live" kind of event will unfold and he himself will find it to be true.

>Can't think of an actual appropriate poem, so you only get /mu/ song texts:

>Six foot six he stood on the ground,
>He weighed two hundred and thirty-five pounds,
>But I saw that giant of a man brought down to his knees by love.
>He was the kind of a man that would gamble on luck,
>Look you in the eye and never back up,
>But I saw him crying like a little whipped pup because of love.
>You can't see it with your eyes,
>Hold it in your hand.
>But like the wind, it covers our land,
>Strong enough to move the heart of any man,
>This thing called love.
>It can lift you up,
>Never let you down,
>Take your world and turn it all around,
>Ever since time, nothing's ever been found,
>That's stronger than love.
>Most men are like me, they struggle in doubt,
>They trouble their minds day in and day out,
>Too busy with living to worry about a little word like love.

>>12235402
you just summed my life up anon

>>12237515
have you tried understanding other people's subjectivity?

>>12236329
Based Kierkegaardianon

>>12237537
you mean like empathy

>>12237548
not really
just actually trying to understand people

>>12237554
maybe

>>12235634
You're a coward. Relationships are about emotional, not physical, intimacy. Loving someone means letting them see you for who you are. More than that, it means seeing them not for who they are, but who they could be. It means letting yourself be shaped and changed by their hand, as you do the same to them. To love someone is to create a new person with two bodies, built in the remains of everything you lived before. True love is rebirth, where you make your own mother and become your own father. I understand why you are afraid of that, but the reasonableness of your fear makes you no less a coward.

>>12235602
I know how you feel, I'm late in my 20s but I spent most of them feeling like you do. I recommend you stop trying to fall in love. It is luck whether or not you fall in love.

I went through a period where I didn't have strong romantic feelings for anyone that I fucked. It ended when I met someone I really loved.

If you love someone there will be no question whether or not you love them. If there is, you probably don't.

>>12235602
Is it really self-absorption? Maybe you just prefer to be by yourself

>>12237604

Beautiful post, truly.

>>12237604
>your own mother and become your own father.

Interesting.

>>12235402
Fortunately oversimplifications such as this shed no light on the experience of actually reading the books that fit your description.

>>12237149
one of the worst cats i've ever seen, and i've seen a lot

>he hacked my diary

>>12235437
>implying my writings aren't schizo-fueled fantasies about meat and flesh
you misunderstand my power

>>12236930
this. ignore all the other replies.

reminder that love isn't a real fucking thing and didn't exist as an idea before Madison Avenue and Hollywood.
before then it was just lust and marriage, and marriage only exists to manage property inheritance.

>>12235602
obligatory

>>12239132
>ugly, manlet, etc
>"perceived" problems

>>12239135
the fact that there's manlets and uggos in the world means that their predecessors all were successful at scoring

>>12239138
that's because their predecessors were living in a time where women were slaves.

>>12239154
there you have it, the classical cop-out by naming something in history that may or may not be true but that everyone won't bother to check

L'homme qui dort (A man asleep)

this shit should be good

>>12239130
>reminder that love isn't a real fucking thing and didn't exist as an idea before Madison Avenue and Hollywood.
That is the dumbest thing I've heard all week.
NIgga fucking Romeo And Juliet

>>12239162
but it was true. women didn't even have proper workplace desegregation until the 80s.
if you were a woman of age any time before that, there's a 90% chance you had to become a housewife in order to participate in civilization.
the other 10% worked as a secretary until they died and exclusively fucked married lanklet chads.
>>12239175
>teen love
get real, zoomer

>>12236905
Kierkegaard, yes. Also Buber and, perhaps most significantly for me, Emanuel Levinas and Derrida.

>>12235602
>>12235634
Read this book.

>>12237604
Holy shit, you write like the climax of a hallmark movie

>>12239242
Thanks, anon!

>>12239130
>>12239130
Reminder that the notion of love not existing and it being invented by Hollywood and Madison Avenue didn’t exist before Hollywood and Madison Avenue invented it. Yet you choose to buy only the other illusion.

>>12239416
my so-called illusion is at least based on deductive reasoning, so is of some use to me in approaching the tangible world.

>>12236724
>Le religion is so backwards and medieval
We should burn people like you at the stake, so you get the full experience.

>>12239432
religion by itself isn't, but absolutism and blind faith is.

>>12239430
>deductive reasoning
Nigga the tv told you that love isn’t real.

>>12239438
oh no, anon, absolutism and blind faith are very alive. every age believes it has conquered them and every age is wrong

>>12239501
they're the reason we're probably going to experience a third dark age run by liberals.

>>12239444
really? I haven't met two people in an eternal marriage that were genuinely happy with it. I'd love to live in your reality but I don't.

I am 25 years old, however I have never had a gf. I have spent most of my teenage years up until now being on the computer. So I feel like I didn't mature socially along with everyone else and I just feel really disconnected. Its like I have no idea how to actually relate or talk to people, especially women. When I try to talk to women its like they immediately get these weird vibes from me and are not attracted. I just dont understand. And I dont think its my looks, because I have been told by girls that I have a nice face, and one girl was seriously shocked when I told her I never had a gf before. I just feel like there is something about me, some lack of social adaptability, that prevents me from having a normal life or actually getting a gf. There is always just some distance, some separation between me and other people, like I'm behind a glass wall and unable to connect with them.

>>12239629
You just need practice, anon. Get our there, fail, and soon you will adjust to social norms. It's really not difficult or complicated, you can do it!

>>12239629
i know that feel anon. went on some internet date a couple years ago in some desperate attempt to connect with a girl and it went so terribly i never want to do it again.

i feel like people have such an easy time talking to others and i cannot understand it

>>12239402
Np. Also, Joyce’s “The Dead” is a great story to reread with these themes in mind, as I think Gabriel is arguably the only character who breaks out of his existential paralysis in “Dubliners” by changing, and I think his change involves a reorientation along these lines: from the safety of solipsism and aestheticism to the empathic openness towards alterity of ethics (in the Levinasian sense of ethics at least).

>>12235402
Literally my diary desu

>>12237612
The only thing worse than kids prattling on about the sufferings of love is the intense interest that men take in fixing them with their ideas.

>>12239130
the entire existence of minstrels and troubadours, and then courtly love.

>>12239722
Why do either of those bother you so, anon?
Surely you don't believe to know the answer to their ramblings, do you?

>>12239752
Yes. But they don't care, and I can't make money telling people the truth if they don't want to hear it. And if you think this medium is sufficient then maybe you are right and I'm just not as capable as others.

>>12239402
Also to be more specific, Buber’s “I and Thou”, Levinas’ essay “Transcendence and Height” and his great work “Totality and Infinity”, and Derrida’s works on hospitality. Also Kierkegaard’s “Stage on Life’s Way” and “Either/Or”.

>>12236329
>They could wreak havoc on the self you’ve built. They could control and manipulate you. They could take your faith and investment in them for granted, or, even worse, they could be indifferent to it, or, perhaps even worse, it could drive them away. Then, you’d have to face up to the fact that what was rejected wasn’t this constructed exterior that wasn’t really you, but rather what was rejected was your true self.

All of the above happened after my relationship with the only woman who I've loved ended. fucking DELETE THIS right now

what do I do now?

>>12236329
Great post. This letting myself be vulnerable, tossed to the wind as it were, is something I've been slowly trying to do, but naturally I'm scared. I've been talking to a girl lately (been on two dates so far) and I'm already feeling that exact threat, that threat that if I invest in this person, then I lose the "absolute control" that I have over myself. But really, I don't have that control. No one does. I become more truly myself through the Other. But that takes courage, and its easier to retreat into solitude, where I can cautiously maintain my own self-image.

Interestingly, that very girl recommended me Chesterton's writings, and he's been confronting me with this very truth:

>If we were to-morrow morning snowed up in the street in which we live, we should step suddenly into a much larger and much wilder world than we have ever known. And it is the whole effort of the typically modern person to escape from the street in which he lives. First he invents modern hygiene and goes to Margate. Then he invents modern culture and goes to Florence. Then he invents modern imperialism and goes to Timbuctoo. He goes to the fantastic borders of the earth. He pretends to shoot tigers. He almost rides on a camel. And in all this he is still essentially fleeing from the street in which he was born; and of this flight he is always ready with his own explanation. He says he is fleeing from his street because it is dull; he is lying. He is really fleeing from his street because it is a great deal too exciting. It is exciting because it is exacting; it is exacting because it is alive. He can visit Venice because to him the Venetians are only Venetians; the people in his own street are men. He can stare at the Chinese because for him the Chinese are a passive thing to be stared at; if he stares at the old lady in the next garden, she becomes active. He is forced to flee, in short, from the too stimulating society of his equals—of free men, perverse, personal, deliberately different from himself. The street in Brixton is too glowing and overpowering. He has to soothe and quiet himself among tigers and vultures, camels and crocodiles. ... What we dread about our neighbours, in short, is not the narrowness of their horizon, but their superb tendency to broaden it. And all aversions to ordinary humanity have this general character. They are not aversions to its feebleness (as is pretended), but to its energy. The misanthropes pretend that they despise humanity for its weakness. As a matter of fact, they hate it for its strength.

>>12235402
>it's a book about that same male 10y later realizing that it was not an angsty phase but legit disorder

>>12235651
Good point. How to repair nervous system dissonance that makes one unable to function in modern Western societies?
I feel like my options at this point are living in an agrarian society or anheroing.

I wanted to write something like that a while ago until I realized there was nothing I could say that hadn’t been said before by someone better than me. Stories like that are a dime a dozen

>>12236565
How to be a 3% man by corey wayne is really good for this shit. Check him out he does a lot of youtube videos as well.

>>12239242
Buber I imagine would be I and Thou, Kierkegaard, Works on Love. Which texts from Levinas and Derrida ?

>>12240907
part of maturity as a writer is recognizing the gaps in human expression. there is always something that hasn't been said before. the library of babel is virtually infinite. the legible expressions are discrete and virtually finite. this means that the gaps between the expressions are infinite as well. as you can see, my math is shit, but I think you just need to keep reading and writing. soon enough you'll find the limits of words

>>12240944
Whoops, didn't see
>>12240085

>>12237149
Was your cat a school shooter in its past life? Look at the top of its head.

>>12235602
literally me

probably has to do with the sort of crowd you hang around with but also that you're a bit of anti-social person yourself.

>>12240963
no, he was a croatian singer in the 70s
>>12239060
rude

>>12235402
>>12235602
>>12235622
SKREEEEEEEEE

>>12236329
A similar "process" happened to Salvador Dali. Why mention him? He alludes to it in his autobiography "The Secret Life of Salvador Dali". Though I feel he was never fully cured of his egoism (but who is anyway at some point in his life) I believe his relationship with Gala really openend him up. He too was very keen to maintain control over his interior, his self-conception. Though less or not described in this book, what aided in this process was his return to Catholicism. Self-control/neuroticism can be cured by having faith. Without faith it's hard to lower pride or fear (of man).

>>12237149
cute cat
>>12239060
wtf

>>12235602
>but I just can't engage romantically with other girls my age
What did this healthy young man mean by this?

>>12235602
Be careful what you wish for. I briefly worked with the only girl that I ever felt a real connection with 2 years ago and I still randomly scream in embarrassment and regret thinking about how I blew it.

>>12241255
>wtf

Not that anon but that cat looks malnourished or something.

>>12235402
>light depression
haha, you sure got me pegged

>>12236329
Imagine bloviating this much on a chinese underwater basketweaving forum just to state the obvious

>>12241462
Imagine seething over someone being able to effortlessly write lucid and insightful paragraphs instead of stale single sentence criticisms

>>12239614
>nothing but lust and marriage
>eternal marriage with genuine happiness

Now there are a lot more of things that don’t fall under the first than just the second one.

>>12235602
>>12235634
This is what I used to tell othe people when I was a virgin

>>12235402
god damn it i just starting writing this exact thing except instead of light depression its full on existential crysis

>>12241104
So, if i'm one of these schizoids, what do i do to fix myself?
Do i just continue living as i have?

>>12241750
Get a better imagination.

>>12237149
It looks like a friar I love it

>>12235602
I have actual advise: analyse the third chapter of Wonderful Everyday.. That did it for me: the girl protagonist is deeply curious about (at least) people, especially this one guy, and you know searching to understand people is not that different from what a compiler does: it goes through every line of code carefully, not missing anything, evaluating by applying the specific arguments to the function, and so and so on, it's just the same with people, you have to stop them as they speak in order to be able to simulate their lives exactly as you would live them, which means in part also relating part of your own life to what's going in their lives, and the questions are just the result of the gaps in the model, not simply linguistic strategies deviced for the sake of understanding. The search for understanding is very complex and very rewarding, it's rampant, all the sciences, all the humanities, and all the arts pursue the same goal in their own ways, and socialization is no exception. It's a taste that must be refined and developed: it can be contrasted to trying to argue or defend one's world over other worlds -- this is not the approach. Understanding someone takes a lot of work and more than anything it requires that from your part you assume as little as possible, for you to separate the wheat from the chaff, to disentangle impact from attribution, from what you think about the other person from what the other person actually is. That is, for you to realize that your mind can get muddled by lots of confusions and you should not be led by them, and not just confusions but by the tendency of the mind to oversimplify, so one has to think about how to keep things as sophisticated as possible and never forget that the most important aim of all communication should be understanding, and that you won't ever actually reach a perfect understanding of the other person but this will always be open, and you'll have to deal with such uncertainty, and finally you have to understand that understanding another person is always an interactive process where you should try be as transparent as possible with the other person of what your intentions are, that is, you must keep them at the same level as you are. Great part of this was indeed kept by her, the protagonist of Wonderful Everyday's third chapter, and I do recommend that you analyse her but of course don't limit yourself to that source.. More than anything, I want to say that people are whole worlds that can potentially be opened, you just need to learn to be curious about this in particular!

>>12235402
That guy looks so handsome! I would love to be the girl reading the book.
I would be in such an adorable relationship.

>>12241751
>i'm
>I am
>am

What are you, a psychiatrist? You fucking self-diagnosing pieces of shit belong on reddit.

>>12239167
That's just like a quote of Proust

L'homme qui dort tient en cercle autour de lui...

>>12241850
A simple "god i wish that was me" would have sufficed, cunt

>>12244490
based meme police poster

>>12235602
fugg
put me in the screencap

>>12244552
same, put me in

>>12241751
Smoke some dank bud, that'll fix you up.

>>12240762
Chesterton can write for hundreds of pages and not really say anything
>Wot if one thing was actually it's opposite.

>>12244842
>doesnt appreciate chesterton

pleb

>>12244849
Wot if not appreciating Chesterton was actually patrician?

>>12241751
Tried meds, just numbed me out and made me into even more of a zombie. Tried therapy, couldn't make any progress because talking to someone is way too hard. Better to accept who you are and live alone. I've been looking into ways to become a hermit, because for me its that or suicide, day to day life waging away in an environment that is pure agony for me is something I can only tolerate for a few decades at best. I wish I had started looking into this pursuit sooner.

>>12235602
>>12235634
Get back to Nature as much as possible. Seriously. I 100% believe so much of our modern malaise is due to our alienation from the natural processes of life. Most people can simply ignore this (including the cute girls at your work and so on), but for some, keenly-aware individuals, its a serious existential problem.

Start a garden, spend times in parks, take trips to the countryside, and let yourself just be surrounded by the movements of the earth. It won't get you a GF, but it'll help you see the silliness that is the way most people live.

This is unironically why white males need to leave room for female and minority writers.

Come at me, but you know I'm right.

>>12245201
I'm curious, why is life so miserable for you? I'm >>12235602 and even though I'm lonely at times, I'm still generally content with life. Do you really find being around other people to be that miserable?

Perhaps you should try >>12245217. That's what I do most weekends and breaks. When you're /out/ there and really alone, it puts things into perspective.

>>12245217
Yeah I'd say try this. I sometimes fantasize about leaving for a cabin in the middle of nowhere, resupplying with non-perishables once a month, and otherwise avoiding contact with human civilization.

Even a hike can be rejuvenating though. That much I know for certain.

Our psyches were not grown in the mechanical world in which we now live, and it shows.

>>12245409
I've spent a reasonable amount of my life outdoors. Most of my childhood summers were spent living in an isolated cabin in the woods, where I would take the family dog out and wonder around aimlessly for miles, at which point the dog would lead me back even if I was hopelessly lost. In my adulthood I've since returned to the woods, but this time alone, spending many consecutive days completely in solitude, but with work and diminishing morale its awfully difficult to find the energy to do this on a regular basis, and the alone time is all I really get out of it, which I can already experience in my apartment. I feel indifferent to nature.

I think books may be the only thing tying me to my current existence. The thought of giving them up fills me with dread and I can hardly carry a library on my back, but if not for that I would very happily retreat into isolation. People are simply far too alien to me. I really cannot connect with them at all and any attempt to do so only results in disappointment and anxiety. Even the most rudimentary forms of socialization are a challenge, and it gets harder every day.

>>12239629
I get that too. I am relatively able to be charming or to keep a conversation boring. But beside my all around clumsiness, I just very rarely see a reflection of myself in others. It's worse with women, I don't think I see them as human beings anymore. They seem so alien. I just find them pretty or not.

>>12245326
You don't have to read anything written by white males you know. You don't even have or should live in a country white men founded. Go now, shoo, fuck off.

>>12245326
>>12246815
Do you guys seriously think this cliche is exclusive to white dudes? Woman I get but seriously get off 4chan for a while if you believe this. And if you're an American who came to the country before the year 1995 you aren't white so shut the fuck up. Embrace the new creation you are

>was in uni before being kicked out
>kept the textbooks preciously in my shelf
>hoping to come back to and understand them some day
>one day an engineer in my company asked if i have anything about solid state physics
>reluctantly lent him one of my textbook
>he used it actively and never returned it
>six months later the company restructured and he left
>all my other textbooks still sit there, collecting dust until I look at them today
That's the most worthwhile and positive give away I ever made.

I must remember this whole thing before I forget I have been in college once...

>>12236930
Not him, but I wish I was.

Male homosexuality is superior to heterosexuality in every way, but I don't think I could get my dick hard to fuck a man and, that aside, a homosexual relationship would imply either 1. fucking a twink, but not being able to respect him as a partner due to his lack of manhood, 2. fucking a manly man, but not being able to respect him due to him lowering himself by getting fucked by you. 3. fucking and being fucked, which is all around repulsive to me as a thought