/lit/ - Literature

How much traffic does this board get?
Should I have posted this elsewhere - in that case - forgive me, it's my first post on this board.

I write mine in a notebook the old fashioned way. I don't really care that much if someone peeks into it, they'll just find a lot of complaints about work procedures and reminiscences of things that happened ten years ago. A lot of people can't read cursive anymore, because it's not taught in schools, so in a way it's self-encrypted.

>>12169354
I can only read cursive if it's perfect cursive. I usually can't deal with cursive + whatever personal deviations the writer has when writing in cursive.

>>12169367
If you start writing in cursive, you will have no problem reading your own.

>>12169354
Haha, nice, what kind of handwriting style do you use - any specific "typography" (or however you call the style of the font)?
Perhaps I am too paranoid, but security through obscurity is not security.
That all aside: digital provides a way to preserve the contents for later reflections and it can be expanded later as well, so I was tossing around the idea of using a scanner and just archiving all pages every week/month (depending on the sensitivity of the content) and otherwise just use paper and not give a damn about writing on a keyboard. It could be done with rednotebook, for some reason I really like the program, since it's FOSS and its features might expand in the future and it doesn't lock me in.

>>12169367
Welp, they used to teach cursive in school, and it looks nice, but the unromantic reality is that "normal" lettering is less prone to error.

>>12169354
(Off-topic)
Forgot to add:
>Saying you don't need privacy because you have nothing to hide
That's like a person saying they don't need free speech because they have nothing to say.

>>12169390
>That's like a person saying they don't need free speech because they have nothing to say.

>>12169396
What does Shekelpiro have to do with privacy concerns?
That aside, this thread is about Journaling, I am deleting the post to not further derail.
Do you keep a Journal, Anon?

Most of the 'people' here are NPC's.

>>12169436
Okay... but how do you keep your journal?

>>12169367
>>12169384
My handwriting is really sloppy. Scrawl basically. If I write slowly and make an effort it can look nice but there's not much point when writing in my diary desu.

>>12169449
Yeah, as long as (You) can still read it.
I am kinda weary, but I think I will just toss up my hands and use RedNoteBook, fug it, there I can at least include all sorts of media and if I want I can just write on blank, white pages and scan them every week, or use a normal notebook for a few months and then just archive it all onto the program, which doesn't lock me into a format and much rather allows to export as html, pdf and raw text.
Does it sound reasonable, or will it be too much effort to scan (provided I type directly into the program most of the time)?

>>12169449https://www.google.com/recaptcha/api2/payload?c=03ADlfD1_JjzRLnRQeoWMqzTKd6Ge4uGSDh5YOwRt7VksmXCwhuRXmwY5X4QFnghhXHYxc4s5vwPT4Kj4gaHXSQWla3EFkRFwzP4IQdt3TBDAPeEZaBXnDGEyLjz09LHHwuw454ohUabCt3f5ZfEnnr3mxi4YiyZ5i9WMmEMcbJkRg9o5uKMmBQg5cZW6pZBIy2xLyxldQQcY-kirr5PCJ4uOTzdLDgc-ckT27NWUNpm7hUsN0KmktVXDp1pa0D9LD8Mr49WYQfx2FEPr9ri1QT1wt9mgYG03K0MOC-V6ftUMWhIu4HeH_uMX_L_4BQJ239tKwK3yPPMM35vH9YroFnN9qRlj3xigHI2TD-pvt8CPDe70WkPfduQW59OwlkIzXVvSy2aSee1sD6wtZgwwIeRoK-OYfrdqLFAoyP6e9WAx1NcupFDpc6BhcE0TCIW5SJKRNerZoF4PacNc6W2yxef2ZrEN4-6qSH8BI1Fsy0n0xBrpGFw13ppuU11A32PYH806eSXIQlU7HGQH3NkKhubXV42RPFNf4WOaiFLn6WSHCDZ2R3rCHt0acAXWpYQzuGMqwhARoeyKIjyhV1YNSGCGWH7c5BD6BtV3RrSFWd-DY19Q_X3w6UGoaSQLq51R59irmaHX8wt2qIQ6eyz9xYGziosETn2ybGLRNsLO_d3h0z34lkSCO1w25mhVMJ1A-YuQt7YkEk1mlvXA_Mq48AKp6xWNw3nAXHW52Ompm40Hjk9wGz4pVa0Q1_IL18PdzL_T2RZzokTIzY-JqieST8QX5cvoYij4yQxUpw1QrXd8FWo2Cw3wrNBOK4jxocQU1BzvDZVKjAcZBcraUILv9-k4LvsrM6pigBS28IM0JWuM8dJuoIQrqiGb0AdLf-oKHM0dub-9ZPr3bw_XJv8CKUkDQ0PkEvEZaaiOzXjxSo1AUv4ZXhF1aPs9wI5u01CTXdOkXlG9J_M-xMGaRmz3FxZ_xGAp_Wc-x-u3eNrR0tdDErJNz5UWGugr0InDibau-WNXmm4akoQPdVKdjVyY7Vr3RsiwfPFKihgDRqmFwCVwThVjAI0RxW1Vt-JC5ikgboD-YegJuPqn-hTADC-UpKWrkDYnMNz6dTCcw0i00sa74N1ya6qlq6pjwoj1ncHc6Z1t2RniBp_TNLcsVdGhHMiiAB8CTyq7r5zSUJshg-3R2zFnIswumf6UyW-Nf2EMucd4H2hrEoe4HwDUuy6eA8lcvkYG2DiYyadYvnHJ2cE7q3I1yrBzAG-MtCKCowN3xGW0GMmipEirjCVPvv2l2vNljlDwnIksc1EpjPjsAT6eAFjfhV3ImuMXAIj0_EIspJ1aq152_K2nEIVx8sw0eMNl2US5E2wrtRk6rW1EXSHb2rFbjfbcIb0L3ZTJpH0ghZNKSVLqeQtCO8ZGDQrp6b9m9P6zHGod_8fkCxek5dufXGved8efG4SXB2hzN4R5uTAZIozH9RGkoTw8I3jDfA84BA2yJR0ZYcvpC-CL_8JYyViSEmKr5ZzJ3PGRyZZcwXrZmVaPeRXpu-YMMIhiYe3H0xsf8rlMADTrmjEBxKLfsNz_nSAfY91NrCkvs3bGNgkW4QUJt0fF9CZTWVw_P2mvZSegg6cQ7MDjsb87WU1I2FzbEsa1ZGcdY-KYFOzQzTFvCnK4SwO8KQPbf6xPq7JE7DRbZOy5qNCithSDAVa19FMgJXpR-0Bi0d1IWnw4172xJ-UtM-W0bEipui6MxOEifIoll-Mulga0GZ80NocGQsA2WCR4mCQOE92rKNtN8zaDWgJo7gYdo32ZTAbVN0h0WCNVplPDzW1RWJgpUvb78JDFs-Lc2ENPWN3EHTl5cFQQk0QwFd9y4pE4Xr9jDK47_xIqZ-IOl80uGqCC0as16gd9Q1yYeGvxS1FGHGbAnA6orrgLS-JSBzQHWFN7KyejAJdU3013CA6iHhgF-hClaC8Rb2Q_Acaczh6SlEOkGsf5N2vObDWAKqnp-AYPz9Al-ybDhU-C9O94IhKFr_gYVq9EVCDeVwKtXKcyIknjr-u9dEa7BgvyyO6YwU5K2iCau0ddqOMYhOA&k=6Ldp2bsSAAAAAAJ5uyx_lx34lJeEpTLVkP5k04qc&id=2
Yeah, as long as (You) can still read it.
I am kinda weary, but I think I will just toss up my hands and use RedNoteBook, fug it, there I can at least include all sorts of media and if I want I can just write on blank, white pages and scan them every week, or use a normal notebook for a few months and then just archive it all onto the program, which doesn't lock me into a format and much rather allows to export as html, pdf and raw text.
Does it sound reasonable, or will it be too much effort to scan (provided I type directly into the program most of the time)?

>>12169300
>How do (You) keep your Diaries?
fixed

but on to the topic. written or digital, the following should be on top:

- date
- time
- entry #

i used to put titles so i know what i wanna talk about, but lately i just let the pen flow

>>12169300
I buy leather bound journals on Etsy and when I'm done I mail them to people.

I use journey.cloud
I don't care if my shit is datamined, it's always the same posts about depression and suicide

>>12169300
Dollarstore pocket composition notebook + bullet journaling.
My todolist and then a few sentences about the day and whatever other ideas I had that day, on one or two pages, every day. It's actually kind of cool, having a new notebook every fiscal quarter.

Orgzly, which you can download from Fdroid repo is a new favorite of mine as far as digital methods go.

>>12169675
Yeah, I already did that when I still followed the habit, but I was more worried about the technicalities - should I use rednotebook or rather a personal wiki or something entirely else?
It's a tossup, I just can't decide, I feel paralyzed.

>>12169654
God this is embarassing...

>>12169682
>and when I'm done I mail them to people.
Wewlad.
Why though?

>>12169694
Yeah, I heard of that service.
How is it`? Can you put in all sorts of digital media files? Pics, vids, mp3 and so on?

>>12169700
Perhaps I should stop trying to go "permanent" or "secure" or "digital" and just do something like this, but I can't commit, ree.

>>12169694
Forgot to add:
>the same posts about depression and suicide
Are you doing alright, Anon?

>>12169920
>Wewlad.
> Why though?

Two reasons:

1. I'm perennially homeless, so I often have no way of holding on to them
2. I want other people to read them, even when they're often just schizo gibberish

>>12169918
Looking it up now....

>>12169932
Oh... sorry for your situation, it must suck with winter coming along.
If you want to share your story, feel free to do so, I will read it, if you can bother to write it here.

>>12169948
I'm in Hawaii and not presently homeless thankfully. My story, if you mean my life story, is very long and stupid. I'm not sure it's worth sharing.

>>12169920
>How is it`? Can you put in all sorts of digital media files? Pics, vids, mp3 and so on?
I only uploaded pictures so far but yeah, looks like it. It's got a really clean interface and you can use it both via smartphone app and browser. All the data is uploaded to your Google Drive, there's no separate account.

>>12169928
>Are you doing alright, Anon?
Thanks for asking. I get by.

>>12169953
>I'm in Hawaii and not presently homeless thankfully. My story, if you mean my life story, is very long and stupid. I'm not sure it's worth sharing.
I am still pretty young and even though I am "doing good" (or at least have good chances - just can't into uni rn) I am pretty depressed - I bet I could still probably draw some inspiration from your story, I of course understand if you can't be arsed to write it, I dread it too sometimes, it's just so you know that my interest isn't the bottleneck.

>>12169956
> All the data is uploaded to your Google Drive, there's no separate account.
Sounds dystopian, but also oh so convenient. Damnit, you are seducing me, man.

>Thanks for asking. I get by.
Feel free to talk more, even if all I can do is listen. You are probably from America, so you might be used to the "How are ya? - Fine!" routine. I have my issues too, if that soothes you a little.

I’ve been using the simple notes app on my phone for years now. It is simple, effective, and always available when I have a spare moment. From there I transfer it to a master sheet on my PC. This is usually updated every few months.

Though I find the idea of writing cursive in a leather backed journal, this is not a practical option. Having the master diary available, as opposed to several note books of illegible scribble, has been rewarding.

>>12169992
>Feel free to talk more
I don't want to hijack the thread. You've probably glazed over my rants in other threads already.
Thanks though kind anon!

i use a small black notebook. i title each entry with the date. i color code what i write with different color pens, pilot G2s are my favorite, different colors for different tangents within the same entry

>>12170015
It is my first time posting here, so I haven't.
Forgive me, for I am a rancid homosexual of novel nature.

>>12170021
Have you ever thought of going digital?

I have poor handwriting and no ambition to improve it, so that has been a huge problem for me as I don't want to have ugly notes. I also do not like having unorganized notes which is a natural result when you are taking notes as they come to you. I have a light obsession with notebooks and find their aesthetic very appealing, but in practice I cannot find myself using them except for archival purposes, once the thoughts are clear to me and I can organize them better. As such, I find myself moving towards digital solutions as I am a superior typist because it's quicker, and cleaner to create notes on the fly and then organize them afterward. I previously mentioned Orgzly, which lets you create named notebooks and then you can create notes inside of those notebooks with various tags and labels you can use to organize them.

I currently use Samsung devices, so S Note is also pretty good when it comes to digital handwritten notes.

>>12169979
Alright, ultra short version:

Youth: IQ tested at 144+ per the WAIS, 99.9th percentile on the Raven APM, thought to have autism or ADHD though. Mom didn't like those diagnoses, shopped around and kept getting me diagnosed with new things from ages 8-16, even telling me what to say to the psychiatrists. Medication fucked me up. Instead of going to a gifted and talented program I ended up being sent to an alternative school, where:

Adolescence: I started to realize I was trans, but not before the fundamentalist teachers/paras of the school I was attending did, for which they subjected me to things that would be illegal to do to prisoners of war. Parents didn't care, pretended not to know what was going on, just wanted me to be normal at any cost. Went crazy, was expelled. Enrolled in community college. Fucked around. Finally got off the meds. Thought the meds had made me trans, so tried to be normal. Played dance games to distract myself and try to socialize, but sucked at being social.

Adulthood: Came out as trans. Wound up homeless. Went back to community college, accumulated 6 degrees while working towards a bachelors/racking up remedial credits. Brief period of alcoholism. Went on to regular college. Developed schizoaffective disorder: heard a voice in my head I thought was a spirit. Couldn't think clearly anymore, tried to get through school by cheating/malingering. Wound up getting expelled in senior year due to complications from mental illness. Student loans maxed out. No jobs anywhere, no friends or family. Went to Europe to die, but somehow survived, despite (or perhaps because of) having a full blown psychotic break in Germany. Lived in Seattle for a year. Lived in Hawaii for a year (so far). Finally got a half-decent job and a place to live. Still very nervous.

>>12170091
>144 IQ
>unironically believes he is trans
>homeless
lol quit lying to us and yourself

>>12170091
>IQ 144
You lucky motherfucker.
>Think I am trans
Are you sure it wasn't meds that screwed you and perhaps combined with over-analysis and pathologization of your thought-world when "your mom was shopping around for a diagnosis"? As onlooker it seems like a possibility to me - problems one has and works throug suddenly become illnesses that are not healed by attacking but by exploring... just saying.
>Degrees: six (6)
Impressive to be honest - is it the same as studying in Uni for three of more years!? So you actually were in higher education as a student for 12+ years?!! Or am I conflating the system here in Germany with what is done in America for education?
>Finally got a half-decent job
That is nice to hear - I think you can build from there, even if it isn't what you initially imagined. I just wish I could come to terms with perhaps never going to uni (or only later) - I am just a 121. It's kinda like yearning for something you can't grab but not being able to grab anything else either for fear tha you will never get over not getting the previous (physics BSc/Msc in Uni) thing.
>Still very nervous
I think that if you hold on just a little while longer you might just settle in! At any rate - I wish you the best for your future, even if it has been rough until now.
Did you let them cut you up down there yet - pls don't do it. I do support the idea in general, if it helps people deal with their perception, but hearing reports like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pxxBQm114k (disregard religious gloss for a second pls - it's made for a Russian audience)

>>12170154
It can happen, IQ is a good indicator of future stability, but there are exceptions.

>>12170154
Well the medication, alcoholism, and schizoaffective took a chunk out of me, so I'm now 122 with a verbal tilt (verbal IQ isn't effected by schizo). Also, MtF have higher IQ's as a population than even Ashkenazi jews, so I don't know what you're talking about.

>>12170171
>Are you sure it wasn't meds that screwed you and perhaps combined with over-analysis and pathologization of your thought-world when "your mom was shopping around for a diagnosis"? As onlooker it seems like a possibility to me - problems one has and works throug suddenly become illnesses that are not healed by attacking but by exploring... just saying.

At this point, if it were possible to beat I would have beaten it, so I have to assume no.

>Impressive to be honest - is it the same as studying in Uni for three of more years!? So you actually were in higher education as a student for 12+ years?!! Or am I conflating the system here in Germany with what is done in America for education?

There was a lot of overlap in credits. I went roughly half-time to community college from 2004-2008, and full time from 2010-2016. So I guess 10 years.

Also, definitely consider college, just not STEM. Find something you want to do, that you can also be social through; most of the benefit of college is signaling combined with networking

>>12170192
>At this point, if it were possible to beat I would have beaten it, so I have to assume no.
Okay. How do you want to arrange with this rift of self-perception and body/physical reality? I would need to somehow become more accepting of my situation too, I guess.
>consider college but not STEM
Why though? With a Bsc or even Msc in Physics I can get to a very good position here in Europe/Germany? Alternatively I am considering just going into a "Ausbildung" (not sure if it's called "vocational school" or "trade") and maybe study later. Or maybe I will get well again and just study next Winter-semester and tackly physics again when I am healthy once more.

>>12170204
>Okay. How do you want to arrange with this rift of self-perception and body/physical reality?

I handle it by taking hormones and being a shut-in, mostly

And ~120 IQ is pretty low for physics. I'm not saying it's impossible, by any means (Feynman was famously 125), but you're at a disadvantage relative to a lot of people who are going to be there. So definitely don't do it unless it's something you really love.

>>12170217
Is it really true that the average for physics lies at 130?
I heard there are different IQ tests with varying scaling, often having an offset of 10 or more points.
So I am not sure if I should let this be the deciding factor - it is not that I am unable to understand concepts if I buckle down and study, but I was just too depressed.

>>12170238
There are different IQ tests, that's true. I'm not an expert on it. 130 is what I'd heard also. If you think you can do it, and you want to do it, go for it. If depression is potentially crippling you may end up at the mercy of the effectiveness of psych drugs though, or else your own condition: this is a tough position to be in. But you can always take longer than 4 years to get through a degree too.

>>12170251
>>12170238
>>12170217
>tfw failed all my mathematics, physics and chemistry classes in high school, never understood shit.
I'm actual brainlet, is it possible for me to learn at least the basics?

>>12170267
Sure. Grind Khan Academy every day. You can definitely pick up the basics by doing that.

>>12170251
Yeah, though maybe doing a job-education or whatever is the proper systemic word for it in English might be better for me. I guess the most important thing I learn is discipline, but I have been told numerous times that it is simply illness that is making me the way I am - goddamnit you are right, I am at the mercy of drug-effectiveness.

>>12170267
You can learn the basics, the thing with math is, that you probably didn't pay attention for a few months and it's a matter of the theories/applications/methods being based on one another.
There are probably plenty of pdfs on the web of the textbooks, your best bet is to probably just revisit them.

>>12170030
yeah i have, i used to keep a digital diary but i just don't like using my notes app for that as much. something about the act of physically writing out my days is cathartic to me

>>12170314
Yeah, I am considering write+scan for simply archiving but using paper as working memory (only digitizing and discarding/destroying what is sensitive).

>>12170091
You're like a character from a Bolano novel