/lit/ - Literature

Kellogg did nothing wrong.

It's coming up on two years now since I last felt a tangible emotion. Since then, I haven't made any progress on treating this disease. I wish people understood how hard this is. I wish my parents had any clue at all.

>>12169323
Starting no fap.
Goal is at least a week.
I want to teach myself selfcontrol

My family unironically thinks they have free will

>>12169335
What about wet dreams? I haven't fapped in over six months, but I just had a wet dream the other night.

>>12169353
I started yesterday, lets do this anon.

>>12169323
People complaining because the bitches they had sex with don't love em back.
Ahahahahahaha

>>12169353
Trick is to get rid of stimuli. Then it isn't a challenge but easy.
Block or disable thumbnails for greater success (pic related).
Filter: 4chan.org/* and 4channel.org/* to ad block thumbnails.
Blocking is more effective and if you're worried about the functionality of this hellhole just use thread watcher to browse from catalog. If you have to open an image, control click the image title, and it will open in a new tab. Quickly cycle through it before you go to it with control tab.

>>12169375
We'll make it anon.

>>12169398
Thank you, saved.

well france is rioting and it's looking very similar to ukraine from 2014, so the coming years will be very interesting to say the least.
I'm joining the air force because college just isn't for me.

I wish I had a kot to bake some blini for.

>>12169323
Walking my dog is my favorite activity.

>>12169412
>I'm joining the air force
Be VERY careful anon. If you're not a normie you will be absolutely miserable and hate your life. Know what you're getting into.
t. non normie in the air force

>>12169372
Doesn't incur a hormonal rebound as does a voluntary emission. No prolactin increase.
Let's keep the semen retention discussion here: >>12168730

Everytime I find a book/poetry collection that I want to read I am reminded that I need to go back to books I don't want to read because they're "classics" and foundational and the source of inspiration for a lot of contemporary works, and everytime I think I have a good grasp on American or British lit I am reminded that there's still so many foundational works I haven't even touched yet, and as well that I know absolutely nothing about French or Russian literature. I like reading but discussing books makes me disillusioned and tired.

>>12169412
Gas prices make me feel like rioting as well. I don't get why I should have to pay more taxes just because the planet is getting slightly warmer.

I need a new mattress

>>12169357
This but unironically.

>>12169475
Fuck that anon just read the poetry and let someone else safeguard canon

i keep fantasizing about death. very curious about what it's like and what the most entertaining way to go would be. overdosing is lazy. thought about making a pitcher of margaritas with windshield wiper fluid because i've heard it tastes like fruit punch

Thus ran Arethusa from river-god Alpheus from Phineus and Athis, the iron-helmed arcanum drinker, down the river of foison

>>12169432
very wholesome anon
>>12169350
this is a page out of my diary desu

>>12169475
The day you start reading seriously is the day you become forever badly read.

>>12169504
well if it becomes too warm then lots of people will die and even more refugees will go to europe for safety. though i do agree that making the population suffer isn't a good move. you have to target the companies that are responsible for over 70% of carbon pollution,

My one fantasy in life is to join be a wandering nomad who travels around in 3rd world countries, visits the local churches - ideally Catholic - and seduce all of the pious peasant women into sin. I'm not exactly handsome at the moment but I intend to work on that so as to achieve this goal.

>>12169323
It would have been better if you'd tried to argue with me. All your tricks and tortures mean nothing to me except that you have nothing else to fall back upon. I reject your God.

I think I'm going prison gay, please help

Niggers I hate niggers fucking sub-humans I fucking have niggers, niggers here niggers there niggers everywhere fucking ape human hybrid

>>12169475
anon, you aren't a drone. you don't have to read the same sequence of books as an academic to understand something. your literary journey is like a fingerprint - everyone develops in their own way. read texts you are interested in, and if that interest leads you to books that influenced the ones you like, then so be it.

imagine someone who exclusively reads both ancient and modern texts. what sort of unique and interesting connections would that person make between the two, despite that huge gap? the possibilities are exciting. i'm not saying do something like that on purpose - i'm saying that following what you enjoy will lead to unique conclusions and views, which is what reading is all about.

don't ever eat stodgy meat while drunk. I should have learned this lesson last time.

>>12169691
Black people aren't all that bad.

>>12169640
sinful and pozpilled

if you can seduce them they weren't pious enough hence your fantasy of "corrupting" them is based on an inherently narcissistic conceit

>>12169412
Wow is it really that bad in France? Can I get the scoop? What are they rioting about?

Am I watching a paris commune 2.0? The markets are going to be bugging? Is it an Islamist riot? That would be rich.

>>12169323
There's a good chance I'm gonna fail that one class. I don't know how to feel about it.

>>12169699
beer always makes me sick, what a vile watery piss it is

>>12169504
>gas prices increasing and causing riots
Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated state of affairs
>Saudi Arabia is having this big international diplomatic crisis

>>12169742
His "hmm" skit is my favorite thing about Pewdiepie it's cute desu

>>12169724
They're rioting over the whole Lee Ghandi thing

>>12169323
Perhaps I'm using phimosis as an excuse to mask my fear of intimate relationships with women .
Proof is me never trying to cure it .
Was always like that, I'm such an immature idiot.

I WANT A FUCKING KOT GIB REE

>>12169777
how about "guy-mosis" and it's just for the fellas

>>12169412
>>12169724
France is not "rioting". Things like that happen at every big protest, for example every year the 1st of may. We're just a cranky people

>>12169721
I'd seduce you, that much is certain

>>12169691

>>12169323
I'll be drinking tonight.
Maybe I'll watch the Stone Tape .
Wish I was having some tea and reading instead allowing myself to have some good sleep.
But I had a rough day, If I read I would get very thoughful and uneasy.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

>>12169856
doubt it mate

if anything I'd be the one who seduces you, since I'm tall and handsome (I'm literally admiring myself in the mirror while browsing this board right now), except I wouldn't because chastity is unironically based aesthetic and morrisseypilled

>>12169691
With a car, you can go anywhere.

Death is an evil.
That's what our God thinks
Or he would die.

>>12169902
That's a negative. You're a lanklet with a cleft chin.

i wasnt really that attracted to either of them but im not sure this is really fuckin me up guys so nobody actually reads short story magazines or academic literary journals right i mean pynchon is the disappointment towards my parents i couldnt hurt them in let them in fuckersfuckers infactfuckem pickleegg sarden sardensamson dodododo dodododosamson i had a horrifying and bizarre dream last night it was more a display of fucking the big guy in a much more delightful scenario than the bling blingmyspaceadam sandler flicks time of the joy of life is headed in a chastity cage squirms ontop of a deep poetic respect of power gangbang they knew i would come on heres or login to goodreads id see everyone reading the usual kant ligotti dostoyevsky camus etc

I feel like lit has gone down in quality a lot since 4chan became 4channel.

I'm gonna take a break for a few weeks, hopefully it gets better.

>>12169398
The jezebels your average anon post turn me off more than anything.

I find all these "niggers" memes hilarious. Ive never seen a funnier meme than the tuxedo fuck niggers frog, Ive been her for 10 years

so fucking idiotic and unapologetic and straightforward

>>12169323
I turned 26 today, I was also informed my illness is incurable and I fought with my family and I was dumped. I never want to turn 26 again.

>>12169983
Nice.
Are you a religious man?

>>12169989
and you, pally, are a manlet with a recessed chin

>>12170092
No worries, from 30 onwards it gets easy

>>12170109
I'm not sure I'll survive the oncoming 4 years though. Oh well at least college will distract me, good night anon.

>>12170117
Sorry to hear that anon.
Good night

>>12170107
Oh is that right? Those peasant women would gawk at you like the deformity you are. They'd mock your paltry looks and shun you. They will flock to me and practically beg.

>>12170092
sending love your way anon. you've got us retards on the internet

I wish I could get into D&D. I love reading about the lore about the fantasy races and classes and shit. But the opportunity to play it has never really come up. I think it's kinda sad, D&D players are supposed to be socially inept losers, but these dude manage to get together with 3-4 other losers and hang out regularly. Meanwhile I'm way too socially inept to make a single friend, let alone enough people to fill out a campaign. I am literally a big loser than the average D&D nerd.

>>12169323
I've been hung up on this girl I love after she rejected me a couple of times, so I went to the club for the first time with some friends. During the night, I started dancing with a 7.5/10 girl and started getting my hopes up that I'd finally get off with someone for the first time (t. 18 year old virgin). She started talking into my ear, but I couldn't hear her over the music, so i just said back some menial chat about the music and how she was v. good looking (not that she could hear me either). THen she went off with her friends and I never saw her again. I left the club feeling more miserable and hopeless than when I entered, and I still haven't got over my crush ;_: what do I do, I'm so lonely

>>12170123
those peasant women would 1)respect me because I'm not degenerate 2) be much smaller than me, meaning I could legit pick like three of them up and carry them off if I was so inclined (which I'm not, because that wouldn't be virtuous)

they'd probably think you were a child or a dwarf, and put you in a funny costume with bells.

>>12170155
Just search for your local nerd's gathering.

>>12170155
there's this shit called meetup.com I once went on a d&d session there.

I thought that Im awkward and fucked up, but I was the chaddest chad compared to those people. It was fun

They were very accepting and chill

>>12170168
Was it a one off thing or did you keep in touch with them afterwards?

>>12170216
I could have, but didnt. I just wanted to do something Ive never done before, and was bored. also I have no friends

>>12170103
I'm a monk.

>>12169323
Old people are incredible lucky.
They couldn't care less, no filter, just waiting for death to take em.

>>12169323
I love my cat, my cat's pretty cool

>>12170298
sounds like me

>>12169627
Gas them.

>>12170286
Where?

You ever feel like sluttiness and selectiveness is the end goal of female sexuality and this is going to come back to bite us in 40 years when the monogamy meme dissolves and half of us are still waiting for wives.

>>12170373
No because that's not how things work in real life.

>>12170373
we're not all fat losers.

I think one interesting consequence of the Internet and social media is the space it's given for the truly mentally ill to respire and communicate among themselves. That's a pretty new condition in history.

"Gangstalking", for instance; what is that but a meme spread from one schizophrenic to another, across the country through the Internet?

>>12170389
>>12170391
You didn't really answer the question at all just kind of got mad.

>>12170413
there's no question mark tho

>>12170422
Whoa

>>12170413
>us
I doubt any man with a healthy man is going to be bothered by women not being bound to the kitchen, and most people care more about their work and passion than just having kids and being a good citizien.
>selectiviness
Not how evolution works
>>monogamy dissolves
It has never been a thing.
>waiting for wives
Marriage is a scam, from the rings to the ceremony.

>>12170422
heh.

>>12170431
I never really mentioned the housewife stereotype, and sexual selection is a very real thing. I'm kind of lost here because you're fully agreeing with what I'm saying about monogamy being a dying notion.

>>12169398
My loins are stirred primarily by mental images.

>>12170445
Fag

>>12170461
It can't be a dying notion because it never been a thing at all.

>>12170475
I don't think you know what a notion is

>>12170484
Let me make it clear for you, you will never get a trad gf, monogamy was never a thing, you are miserable, the world is not.

>>12169777
I have this but i'm scared to see a doctor in case they tell me i need circumcision

>>12170496
Are you really that mad you didn't know what a notion was?

>>12170515

>>12169323
I don't have the balls to actually be a theistic Satanist.

I just watched a video of JBP talking about Dostoyevsky out of curiosity and I don't think it was half bad.

>>12169510
buy one bro, sleep is important

>>12169683
embrace it, dudes are fucking easy, you will be drowning in cum, ya whore

>>12169353
I'll start tomorrow

>>12170122
>>12170151
Thank you both.. I love you retards on the internet.

All those people who are alt-right or socialist or tankies or whatever these days will inevitably mellow out with age. It will go the exact same as it already has done many times. People will just move on those concerns and just focus on their own lives, and people will forget about the problems, real or imagined, until another generation picks them up in a new form to repeat the cycle.

>>12169350
exercise, l-tryptophan, ashwagandha. thank me later

i don't want to graduate from college in the spring. I feel like I'm just starting to get the hang of things now at age 21. The only solace I have is the immense personal growth I've made during these 4 years, but I think if I'd had that to begin with I would be much better off now.

>>12170468
Control and alter your thoughts. Temper your desire.

Longing for the release of death, like everyone else. Except I play the part of sloth in this endevour, and the longing is more at thr front of my mind than other people with a more convincing, satisfying part.

the shut-in drunkard that i am, i'm reminded i'm not actually the loser i make myself out to be when i observe the fucking inane drivel and bullshit. i'm not taking care of myself so physically not quite attractive anymore but i'm more confident and interesting than three of these schmucks
my secret goal seems to be drinking myself til i'm actually retarded to meet and match the retardation around me, then i'll have a proper excuse to be the sad sack of shit i am now
>>12170298
i have the demeanor of an oldie. if i change nothing now, my behaviour wouldn't look odd thirty years down the line. if i get there.
>>12170401
yep. the agar for memes that is the internet space worries me
>>12170431
>I doubt any man with a healthy man
heh. faggot.
the whole monogamous marriage is a useful ritual for securing devotion to offspring. people shouldn't get married unless they're gonna care the fuck out of their kid. the presentation of monogamy still has its uses. streamlines some social structures
>>12170533
word salad rambler but he's not half bad. retards just hop on and make a ruckus on the meme train when it takes off. lots of disenfranchised young men need the help he provides
>>12170716
not gonna actively kill myself, why not stick around for the ride. but dropping dead at any moment don't seem too bad to me

>>12169353
The trick is to keep yourself constantly busy.
If you're always reading, studying, working or doing whatever hobby you enjoy there won't be any time left for you to think about masturbating.

>>12170752
this works but then i start seeing fapping as the 'reward' for a productive day lol

>>12170606
yes of course

although, the fact that you have never had convictions means you can never achieve wisdom, only a simulacrum

>>12169353
me too

Thirteen years ago I dry-humped a girl against her will while I was drunk at a mutual friend's party. I was 15 years old and thought it was funny until it turned out that it wasn't.

It's been a constant source of shame and guilt ever since, it keeps me awake at night to this day.

A sunflower leaves its shadow behind as it faces the sun headon.

>>12170834
You will never get famous so no reason to worry about hashtagmetoo

im getting bored of 4chan. there's this pattern of me heavily browsing one board until I've gotten used to it's memes, insights or wtv. then i discover a new board and the cycle begins anew. the recent one is /sci/ after graduating /lit/ but that board is so slow, so now im here thinking what's left for me. 4chan is all I've had for the past few years in terms of online entertainment. are there any anons out here feeling the same thing or am i just too old for this place (im 22 soon to be 23 btw).

I put down the technology, bad thoughts fill my brain.

>>12170850
It's not just the fear that it will be revealed. I've recently started talking to my friends about it to try and get some perspective so it isn't as if nobody knows.

I just can't get away from it, it's haunting me.

Today I felt a little better. I haven't had any thoughts of suicide. I kept reading Children of Time and I enjoyed it. My brother & wife passed by and left my nephews to sleep here. They're with my mother now.
I decided to stop browsing /adv/ because someone posted gore there. I hate that stuff, it upsets me and ruins my day. I will go to bed and do some more reading before sleeping.

>>12170931
I know how you feel. I said and committed plenty of things I really regret while I was drunk, some of it might even be considered sexual assault. I found that for the most part, people forget about it really easily, or didn't even register it at all. It helped my guilt somewhat knowing that even the concerned parties didn't feel as strongly as I did.

>>12170504
You'd only need circumcision if it was really bad. At the very most you might need a bit cut off, not full take away.

>>12170954
Made me feel better just reading this, thanks

>>12170504
Can confirm, I had phimosis as a child and had a circumcision, and I've never regreted it; no painful dick, and it looks/feels better (imo, don't want to start another circumcision debate)

>>12171101
If you had a phimosis there's no question about it, you gotta be circumcised.

Apples are momentary lapses of transcended hought patterns overlayed onto the halls of thought as memory is nothing but a preceeding transgression of atmospheric lens distortions onto a bandwisth exchange of fleeting emotions. Like how did we even get here? Dont quote me on this but science is a fraud and I think im nothing experiencing itself. Write whats on your mind. Dont stop. What if i kept going Maybe then Id find the sentence to end it all. Last night I dreamt I was rushing for a flight back home to paris and went a little too far from the terminal and had to backtrack because there was a pond in the way and a land bridge a ways back but the plane was leavng so i rushed over the hay-grass land bridge and slipped and was gonna ruin my nice clothes when a friend from a past life, a fat black man, offered his hand to me at the last second. Then I flew to a tropical island to sleep out of a makeshift hut but there were snakes by the shore and we had to go further inland. Yeah whatever just rambling like I really am just like one of yall. ITs just I know my mind is free to not have any structure in it cus thats boring and fuck saturn.

I have literally no passions or dreams. I'll trick myself into thinking I do but they never last more than a few months. Programming, physics, linguistics, languages, literature, writing, photography, the outdoors, math, music, traveling. I've pretended to be all about all those things at one point or another, but it was always a lie.

I don't even know why I post here, I only read a handful of pages every few days.

Do not bemoan your past by wishing you'd started younger. There was no one there to guide you. You didn't know better. Now you know what needs to be done Do it. Regretting the past is a poor use of your time Make good time by living in the present. Tell your children this.

>>12170161
clubs suck buddy, dont go there

>>12169323
i havent been to this board since the 4channel split, did anything change here

>>12172059
just a lot more retardation. But that might just be cause you're back..

When will it be legal to hunt down people who watch anime and murder them in the street like the degenerate animals they are?

>>12172097
I'm also waiting for this day.

"But this website was . . .was made for anime!"
OK. Until you show me another site like this that is anonymous and interesting where I can discuss literature, shoo shoo

>>12172097
I don't like anime either but you are on an anime weebsite

>>12172097
>>12172109
imagine wanting to kill your brothers because they consume media you disapprove of. how lost you must be!

>>12172097
Hopefully soon. Please cut off my head, I don't deserve to live.

I hate college. Why do i have to pay for a subject that i don't want to do and go in debt for it? I'll just get it free in the military, at least then i'll just hate the subject and not go out of pocket for hating it.

>>12170598
love you too anon. wish i could drag you and the rest of the guys here having shitty days to a bar and buy some beers to bitch about life and books and get drunk together. something about 4chan makes me feel like we're the only people that would get each other sometimes

>>12172180
you're not my brother scumbag and I unironically want to slit your fucking throat.

I admit it may be irrational but the homicidal rage anime and the manchildren who consume it provoke in me is taking over my life.

What the fuck is wrong with women?
No, seriously, what the actual fuck? Three women in a row in my life just made absolutely god-awful relationship choices and now they're suffering and crying about it. What drives a woman to do womanish things?

>>12172224
That's why you go to a college you actually like ?

>>12172242
Stop blaming other people for making your angry and take some control and responsibility in your life for once.

>>12172242
but I don't even watch anime friend

>>12172242
i dont understand this at all, do you see yourself in them or something? ive never watched anime but i view it as a sort of fixture on 4chan. the fact that it is cringy is just par for the course on this website

>>12172258
Fuck you and your kind

i have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and i'm very scared to tell him that i've been thinking about death more.
appointment with my doctor wednesday and i'm scared to tell her that i think i need to change or add meds because my effexor isn't working.
scared that my treatment resistant depression (21, been depressed since i was 6, my brain is mega chemically fucked) might actually be bipolar disorder, i experience extreme lows but i don't have manic periods so i don't know what to make of it
i'm scared of life. i'm scared of change. i'm scared of people hating me if i put myself out there. i already don't have friends. what happens if i never find any new ones? 4chan is the only place that i feel comfortable.
every time i'm on the highway i fantasize about going as fast as my car will go and slamming into a median or the side of an overpass and just ending it.
i feel pathetic. tired of this shit. tired of feeling this way all the time.

>>12172097
>>12172288

>>12172288
Hit a nerve?

>>12172291
You should kill yourself

>>12172291
>been depressed since i was 6
That's a thing?

>>12172293
You people are stalkers man. No matter what why you try to paint it. Or how you try to make me seem like the bad guy here. I just want to be left alone.

I had my first prostate orgasm today. I'd given up trying a month ago because I could not find my prostate. Thankfully I decided to give it another shot this morning. I cleaned my anus with an enema and then inserted a buttplug to dilate it. I dressed myself in a black skirt, knee socks, pink panties, and a blouse and began perusing femdom doujins on exhentai.Propping my legs on the corner of my desk, I pushed the panties aside and pulled out the buttplug. Becoming erect, I lubed three of my fingers and slide them into my anus, searching for the prostate. Once that was located, I grabbed my dildo, which I specifically got in pink so I can pretend its a woman's penis, smeared it with lube, and pressed it on my anus. The immediate pleasure from having an object of that size inside me soon subsided and I began to read the doujin in earnest. I tried wiggling the dildo around as I had done in the past but to no avail. As I was beginning to lose hope, fearing I would have to resort to stroking, I leaned forward, pressing the silicone between the seat and my prostate. Suddenly, pleasure overtook me. Repeating that motion, I started into the screen, engrossing myself in image of a large breasted anime girl penetrating a man. Ecstasy.

is there any way I can access academic journals without being a university student?

I'm about to graduate and there will be nothing left for me without jstor

I like reading so I want to try and do some writing. Ive never wrote before. What is a good way to start? Should I go with shorter stories and essays or just giver and go after a novel?

Sick of trying to fit in and trying to be normal. Sick of being angry and sad most of the time. Sick of not doing anything about it. Because of my mood swings I'll stop caring about this tomorrow. I'll feel good once more. Until it happens again.

>>12172322
They're literally raping me as I read this

>>12172305
>I just want to be left alone.

You started it. Stay out of the kitchen.

>>12172329
download a bunch of shit now

>>12172297
been thinking about it for a long time
>>12172303
according to my therapists that's when it's started. both my parents have a long running history of mental illness so it doesn't surprise me

>>12172336
How did I start anything? You literally watch me so much you use my life to make a point like a habit. I'm going to kill myself. I'm not even trying to guilt you or anything, I just wanted you to hear it from me directly. When I'm dead and you have no way of relating to strangers on the internet or life to reference in your anecdotes remember what you just said to me and the fact that I've been in this room for my whole life. You really think what she does to keep me locked in here is okay because she's a woman?

>>12172277
I see them as parasites actively harming humanity by existing. Like weeds in a garden they must be found out, drug up by the roots and tossed in the trash.

>>12172355
I'm going to do it man

>>12172365
m8 what the fuck is happening, are you alright

i have an assignent to write an argument paper and i am just stumped, i don't know what to argue about. i've written two rough papers about topics that seemed interesting but they just turned into bland statements of fact that I don't have anything insightful to argue about
tomorrow is a peer review of a draft and I don't have anything resembling an argument paper. I know i could just bullshit something really crappy (whenever we do peer reviews its incredibly obvious that the average person in the class doesn't know what they're doing) but that is just against my whole ethic and feels very intellectually dishonest

>>12172367
I'm going to have more of an impact on this species as a corpse than you will if you worked for it your entire life. In the grand scheme of things you will be remembered less than a piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe.

>>12172377
read >>12172322 and stay home sick to give yourself another day

>>12172377
>implying

>>12172369
do it in an entertaining way

>>12172384
I doubt that seeing as you're an anime watching incel and I already have 5 bastard children.

>>12172411
based & checked

This piece makes me feel so good
https://youtu.be/Kg7aXEvCeXY

>>12172411
>bastard children
what did you mean by this (not him you're arguing with)

>>12172474
I mean I am not in a relationship with the 5 women who are the mothers of my 5 children. I refuse to pay them child support.

>>12172480
based, any tips for avoiding alimony? Id love to have a few bastards myself

>>12172244
what did they do?

I'm dropping out of college because it's boring and I'm anti social. I'd rather be a wage slave for a few years and find something I enjoy. I don't enjoy anything right now and the only reasons I don't kill myself are: I don't want to upset my friends/family and I want to see the future, I also don't care enough to kill myself.

>>12172489
well it's a delicate balance of giving the women as little accurate information about yourself as possible but not making yourself a total target. If you brazenly lie and refuse to answer questions about who you are the woman will try to get money out of you or worse not have sex with you in the first place. But if you seem like a normal guy and it's not until she tells you she's pregnant and you split that she realizes she doesn't actually know where you live or work or who your family/friends are or what your last name is.

after the kid is born let her know she's lucky if you decide you want t see the fucker on christmas. I tell em GABOS Game Ain't Based On Sympathy

>>12172505
redpilled. hopefully will impregnate my first woman next year

>>12172526
the best target is women who are in relationships with other men. If they are cheating on their men they aren't as concerned about getting money from you because they have the cuck who is probably already paying for the birth control she "forgot" to take.

>>12172552
I know. This idea sounds appealing to me because you have that satisfaction of spreading your genes and impregnating a woman, without all that dad shit you'd have to do normally. Do you actually keep an eye on those bastards?

I dont know why but this image of me abandoning my wife/child has been with me for the longest time. Like I knew inside that Id be an absent father

>>12172569
Not that guy but I have one kid I got that way the mom was with some cuck and the boyfriend quickly figured out it wasn't his but I haven't seen them in 4 years. In the future I will try to do them all this way. If you have the opportunity to travel and live with relatively few possessions it's easy af. Just don't have a facebook and she'll never find you.

>>12172584
>>12172569
>>12172552
>>12172526
>>12172505
>>12172489
>>12172480
>>12172411

You really ought to read Jim. You are literal niggers.

>>12172605
no thanks conrad was a slave morality cuck and you're probably an incel

>>12169323
fantasy is an overrated genre, people have no attention spans nowadays due to computers, idea for a novel about dementia, pride for a new decent ink painting

its 4:20 am where I live now and Im tired AF but I think I need to stay up another 15 hours to fix my sleeping schedule, because my life is absolutely fucked and sleeping should be the first thing I fix

next is going out for some fresh air

>>12172614
No one's talking about Cuckrad, pal, https://blog.jim.com

>come to 4chan, that was designed from 2chan (japanese board, so anime is a key element inside chan culture) to complain about anime.

You must be very clever, aren't you?

>>12172721
>muh website
>muh safespace
You're manchild and you should be reminded that you're scum. I know you probably aren't capable of feeling shame anymore but you will learn pain. Your day is coming.

We get only one life and of course we want it to be good. The main thing we want is not to be alone. So, the best solution is in the traditional "We gather together to join this man and this women together with the bonds of Holy matrimony." This is a somewhat bombastic version of what it sounds like:

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6rX3wlDsVI

This is a lot of what it both looks like and sounds like:

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBBL-t7CKbU

Then they are no longer two people but one couple. They are co-founders, full partners, of the one life they share. These statements are necessarily true even if a lot of people deny them and ruin the joining, bonding, founding, and partnership; these statements are true because we only get one life and have room for only one really good marriage. Then, "A house divided against itself cannot stand".

The central objective of the marriage is family formation, being a strong limb on the tree. Why? So we won't be alone. So, we will have family as the bedrock of the rest of our lives, e.g., for connections with others with and via our children, grandchildren, etc.

It's a lot of work to do well with family formation, and the main reason for work is just to support the family.

With the marriage, the couple gets activities, accomplishments, memories, and traditions they like a lot, don't want to lose, can't get anywhere else, and that bond them together. Traditions are really important because they bring good promise of some good times in the future, e.g., US Thanksgiving, Christmas, big times at birthdays, etc. E.g., a good start on a Christmas tradition is

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnoIZ_RzV9M

With a divorce, all those activities, ..., are lost along with much of the life. Doing well at family formation is so difficult and the necessary stages of life are so short that there's nearly no opportunity to do well at family formation a second time. So that one marriage is essentially the only chance you get; get a divorce and have failed at that one chance and have destroyed so much that will likely never catch up.

Yes, pop culture is awash in denigration, minimization, etc. of marriage and family formation. Dumb.

An enemy of the US, or any country, could hardly do better in destroying the US than to sabotage the US family. I rank The Problem that Has No Name as at

>http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2920960/

as the single most effective Communist attack on the US ever, done more damage than a nuclear bomb. Right, it was written by middle class Long Island wife, mother, and accused Communist Betty Friedan in her The Feminine Mystique. Sabotage.

And it's worked, in the US and all the more advanced countries: Too few couples see the importance of building strong families, and the birth rate is so low those people are rapidly going extinct, literally.

>>12172738
>You're manchild

I haven't even said that I watch anime. You are the scum here, you need to release your rage on anonymous faggots on internet. Literally autism.

Have any of y'all ever had a dream where you commit suicide?

>>12172777
Whatever you say weeb scum. Just know one day I won't be confined to the internet and then we'll see who's autistic when my boot is on your throat and you're breathing your last.

>>12169323
Tits and ass by anonymous

tits ass tits ass dick
tits and ass tits but not ass
imagine the smell

>>12172738
>Your day is coming.

yeah yeah people have been saying 'day of the rope' or whatever for decades. It's never gonna happen.

>>12172785
I once had a dream where I was getting strangled, but irl I was just choking on my own wrist.

>>12172797
Haha damn. That's pretty nuts but I'm talking about shooting yourself really. I dreamt I put a pistol underneath my chin and blew a hole out the top of my head but walked around like it wasn't a big deal. A group of people were taking a picture and when I walked by them I remember covering the exit wound like I was embarrassed by it.

i cant concentrate on shit i need to fap i hate it if i dont get a chance to beat my meat on the reg i start either scheming on fuckin thots or start engineering bizarre masturbation practices in my mind which i then put into practice next chance to fap, god damn it

>>12172785
When I was a kid I would frequently have dreams of jumping off buildings or cliffs, but I would walk away without a scratch every time and the dream would continue. I don't think it was a suicide thing.

>>12172810
I'm confused, why don't you pop a fat one and be done with it mate?

>>12172807
your subconscious is telling u u've lobotomized yourself with anime and 4chan and everyone can tell but u try to act liek a normie fooling no one

>>12172812
I've heard falling, maybe not jumping per se, was about your muscles relaxing too quickly. Did you feel a little rush when you dreamt about it?

I jacked a lot these last few days, and felt like absolutely garbage, suicidal. Today Ive eaten almost an entire pack of brazil nuts and I can already feel the energy building up in my root chakra. Good shit

Its like being on day 10 of nofap instead of day 0

these nuts are crazy powerful+coconut water

dragon aura

>>12172814
too many roommates around this place is swaming with street urchins i need to move some where with hardworking fobs who dont know what fortnite is then when they are at work doing a 12 hour shift i can wack in peace

>>12172816
You're probably right, fuck. Very good analysis. I don't watch anime but I for sure spend an inordinate amount of time here

>>12169323
We are not real.
The world is not real.
We and the world are nothing.
Nothing is Real.

>>12172820
give me a quick rundown on brazil nuts, is it like the guarana in energy drinks? i chug a couple rockstar energies and its like a nofap multiplier 2 days feels like 4 and 4 days feels like a week and a month you will nut in in ur sleep

>>12172807
yesterday I had a dream when I was with a group of buddies, all armed like in call of duty, and we were on a black road, found a truck. Killed everyone inside, and then I drove this truck, down a really steep and curvy road. We had so mnuch fun and laughed our asses off, how I could barely keep the vehicle from crashing, and the road was so steep and so curvy, like falling off of a cliff of a mountain. Then it crashed and everyone died except for me. I've seen one of them impaled on a tree or something. Oddly enough I couldnt care less about any of it

>>12172807
That doesn't sound like suicidal ideation, probably some other neurosis, that other guy's probably close.

I wish I had never been born

>>12172837
That's what I'm thinking because I don't consciously wish to kill myself at least. I want to say the social aspect was spot on, that I'm trying to cover up something to them but they can all see it.

>>12172833
they contain selenium and you lose selenium in your cum when you jack off. also they just give you lots of energy, make you gorny. I dont know shit about guarana, but I stopped drinking energy drinks because I fear my liver will die

those nuts and coconut water are good things to build up energy but in a spiritual way, better than caffeine or meth or whatever

>>12172834
It's crazy how our dreams have almost slapstick like violence. Strange that you mention falling off a cliff, might mean something.

>>12169323
im wasting so much fucking time, i have a highly addictive personality and i always fall into bad habits. its almost impossible for me to improve, if i keep this up i will be nothing,

>>12172788
>when my boot is on your throat and you're breathing your last

Kek. As I said: literally autism.

>>12172842
Yeah I wish you hadn't either. But, sadly, you remain. Your best bet is to develop schizophrenia and treat the voices in your head like shit.

>>12172817
I don't think it was that. I've had that rushing feeling sometimes as I drift off to sleep, but in the dreams I was talking about the jump would always happen after I had been dreaming for a while. It never came at the beginning or end of a dream, always in the middle.
I haven't had a jumping dream in a long time, so whatever mental state it represented has probably long since passed. I don't feel suicidal at all right now, but I might have had those thoughts as a kid and forgotten or suppressed them.

>>12172788
>we'll see who's autistic

You when you sperg out in public?

>>12172868
Hmm. Was there any hesitation before you jumped? Did you realize you were about to before it happened?

>>12172850
>33 grams of fat in one serving

woah pass

>>12172863
I have schizophrenia and it's the voices in my head that treat me like shit.

>>12172862
You just keep eating hotpockets and watching anime dirtbag

>>12172878
Start bullying the fuck out of them.

>>12172878
its best to become friends with the voices, give them separate names and personalities and just follow whatever they lead you onto

its fun

>>12172885
Nah because then they trick you into doing shit and can't let that happen, no sir, gotta tyrannize those fuckers.

>>12172885
I tried that and they led me to Europe where I had a psychotic break and wrote all this and more:

>>12172754
>>12172729

>>12172893
woah dude thats really weird because my voices also suggest I should move to another country

Since we're on the topic of dreams a few nights ago I dreamt I had a sexual relation with Shelley Duvall. Back when she was young and unconventionally attractive of course, not the ghastly thing age and mental sickness made her into. Most of the details faded with time but I remember it as a slow and sensual sort of thing. A dumb line I made about her hair stuck out. Probably a reference to one of the supposed incidents during the filming of the shining.
I woke up uncontrollably crying buckets but not feeling particularly sad in any way. Similar dreams followed by the tears happens a few times a year, but this was the first it was with a real person.

>>12172895
This one in particular kept busting my balls about reading English romantic poetry or he'd send me to hell. I made a deal with him and so far shit has worked out

>>12172910
I have four different imaginary friends in my head. One of them is the dragon from dragon ball, and he likes when I eat brazil nuts, and doesnt like when I jack off. Amongst other things

>>12172920
Is he polite at least?

>>12172874
From what I remember there wasn't any hesitation, but it was always a conscious choice. Most of the time I think jumping was just a means to an end, like getting down from a great height or trying to see if I could fly.
Again, these are all faint childhood memories and I'm probably distorting them in some way.

>>12172873
no you when you're whistling through the hole I'm gonna put in your windpipe

>>12172926
not really. The other day I walked out of a shop and some guy walks past me and tell me to look where Im walking, and that I have no manners

I stared-drilled holes into him with my laser eyes (dragon gives me this ability) and screamed so the entire street can hear me, that Ill walk wherever the fuck I want, and he should suck on my fucking cock

>>12172937
Either way, the symbol of jumping from a great height as you said can mean any number of things. That’s one of those extremely personal ones

>>12172951
Haha nice, showed the fucker who’s boss. Have tried drawing him yet?

>when the schizo keeps bumping the thread talking to various aspects of himself

>>12172972
glad im not the only one who noticed the shameful samefagging

>>12172980
t. Another aspect of said schizo

>>12169323
Vronsky did nothing wrong.

>>12169323
I miss her so much. Just started talking with her again in the last few days for the first time in almost a year. I can't tell her how much I miss her though because we don't live near each other and anyways she rejected any attempts at a long-term committed relationship. Even just seeing her online on Facebook makes me feel something. I know I need to move on but it's so hard.

She's just one girl, and I've had others; it shouldn't be this hard but it is anyways. Living the Neet life right now certainly isn't helping with this and hopefully it won't last forever but god damn...

>>12173252
>using facebook

lol

>>12173252
she's probably getting plowed right now

>>12173256
thanks for the support, Anon

>>12173258
>you cry on /lit/
>while chad rubs her clit

There's this guy who bullied me in high school, like really bullied me, locked me in my locker, wet willied, me the whole 9. Any way I ended up dropping out of school because he told everyone what he saw my penis looked like at the urinal and I cried so hard I had to stop going to school. So I started following him home from school every day, just watching a waiting for a few weeks, just waiting for something to happen. And I heard him say he's really afraid of clowns. So I spent the next 4 years plotting my revenge. I poured my heart and soul into becoming a clown at clown college. So the day finally comes when I take my clown car and pull up with 14 other clowns outside his house, just to find out from his mom that he died of a perforated colon. Now I'm just a clown standing in the middle of 13 other clowns with nothing else to do but jerk each other off about how great it is to be a clown and how are lives aren't a miserable waste, knowing if anyone who wasn't a clown really knew what we are and what we do we would 100% without any doubt not be branded as insufferable faggots who excel at being annoying pissants.

>>12173264
How ugly does a woman have to be to browse a literature forum? Specifically 4chan.

>>12172788
>Alright boys who's ready to be converted to socialism

>>12169866
>>12169978

>>12173298
where do her braps go

I had an experience with this website today that made me realize a big part of 4chan is simply bullying autistics. The worst of it is lightyears away from boards like /lit/ but within hellholes like /b/ and /r9k/ it reaches truly gruesome proportions. No sane man should venture there, it is the chaos wastes of the internet, or at least an easily publically accessible route to the chaos wastes in all its non-Euclidian horror.

I'm almost 100% I am an undiagnosed autistic and that this is the skeleton key to all my life's problems. However, I'm one of the rare high-functioning supersoldier autistics who is able to weave it into productive and self-benefiting behavior at times.

But when I do manage to grasp my autism, it is like a nuclear reaction of zen,a thousand fold lotus blossom awaking of capabilities. In sacrifice for these capabilities however is the social world, in all its grandeur and possibility, like some great well of potential good and bad.

I'm lucky i'm high functioning. I genuinely struggle to deal with people unless they fit into certain categories. Generally I deal very well with anyone I want to have sex or mate with. I'm very charming and "human" with anyone I'm in love with. But everyone else, I just assume they hate me, even though there is no basis for it. Or I don't know how to think about myself in relation to them. I don't know what goes on.
The most troubling thing of all is despite being fortunate in having high functioning social abilities relative to an autistic, I am such a loner it horrifies me. I never join any groups or really have a big group of friends. I've never been in any clubs or gay shit like that. I've always had to navigate life myself which has been both a blessing and a curse.

continued....

>>12173380
They inflate the suit and protect her from the republican agenda

>>12173418
>inb4 every rose has it's thorn

>>12169323
the cring:based dialectic has reached a tragic terminus where I do believe everyone at the mercy of that egregore disdains having to say the words but knows that it is obligated by a higher power and much as we grew sick of ourselves and our gods we now will soon grow weary, mistrustful and maybe hateful towards our memes. this is not unnatural, but it cannot, and by virtue of the inhumanity asked of people who depend on memetics to communicate, will not feel organic or in anyway like the routine loss and alienation we've thus far experienced, even in this age of alienations, dismemberments, detachment from the source of all that kindles the spirit of man inside of us. Something will be given, that we've owed for so long, and its beginning to leave our bodies, and with its departure our power, and last hope for irreverent spite will flicker out in this insipid, maddening half twilight that our parents had laid upon our heads in the last two decades with the advent of a global consciousness and a global faith in communication over contemplation.

>>12173439
>Alright boys, who's ready to convert to socialism?

>>12173418
I'm right to assume some people hate me, because there is a lot of prejudice against autistics by neurotypical individuals. I'm fortunate that I happen to be one that generally likes people. Because let me tell you a little story...

A secret to the societal problem of mass shootings and other frightening events of seemingly "random" violence is that many of the perpetrators have autism. There are numerous examples that can be brought up if you dig into the case histories.

I feel a strong sense of responsibility and so I researched this problem. I realized that only someone who is autistic can see inside this problem and get inside the minds of these demons. And what I saw wasn't pleasant.

I have very intense social anxiety but also the ability to defend myself in most circumstances. Many mass shooters---if you investigate photos of them--tend to be scrawny. They are rarely physically impressive individuals.

These two observations hold a key to the entire causal phenomenology of mass shootings.

Some autistics have it so bad that it is lightyears beyond anything I have to deal with. Life-destroying cases. Or it is combined with mental retardation or other comorbidities. One case I would like to discuss is Adam Lanza, the perpetrator of the Sandy Hook killings.

Lanza fits the above criteria of being autistic and scrawny. He lived out power fantasies in videogames involving guns and warfare, and entertained a ridiculous fantasy of joining the military. His mother was unfortunately not good at her job, and did have the skills needed to detect the morbidity of his autism.

When you are like this poor young man, the world is like a nightmarish assault of pin pricks. He was a highly intelligent young man and developed his own belief system.

In one notable instance he phoned in to some sort of alternative radio station and described the case of a pet chimp that had gone wrong. This chimp was owned by a woman and all was well until one day the chimp turned against her and brutally savaged her to death.

Lanza made an analogy that human life in civilization is similar. The structures of control and regulation are like the woman who presumed she could contain the wild nature of the animal.
To me it is clear that this is Lanza making a subconscious reference to his relationship with his mother, as his condition forced him to be coddled and contained. His father, notably, was absent. He could have stepped in that room, smacked his son around, limited his access to games, and brought him back to earth.
It's very terrible to say these things about someone who is still here and had this happen to their family, but it underscores the point that parents can prevent mass shootings if they noticed the signs.
With the school shooter for the Parkland massacre (another dead ringer autist) it is notable that he did it after his adopted mother passed away. Continued...

>>12173476
>*and didn't have the skills needed to detect the morbidity of his autism
Unmoored from any sense of trusted authority, he indulged his own power and revenge fantasy. Both this faggot and Lanza were antisocial subtypes of autistics. I can sympathize with that because I also have a strain of that in me. But what they lack have is a desire to reach people some way and some how, but not with hot lead lol. Although I do occasionally want to shoot people and absolutely would do it if the need struck, my preference is to get along. These extreme autists lack all their humanity. Like a dark souls character that lost all its souls. They're so gone, it's scary. But there are good and bad autistics. For some, they have a deep and impassioned hatred for humanity because of the often real mistreatment they receive--neurotypical individuals are typically (no pun intended) prejudiced against autistics. They are grudge-collectors and wound-gathers. And it is not their fault. Their brains are under-staffed and undermanned when it comes to processing these social meanings. They don't know how to deal with it.It becomes another sensory overload. And what do you do to something that causes you pain that you can't understand? You stop it---by any means necessary. You kill it.

Take another example, Cho Sung Hui--the Virginia Tech shooter. Another predictable case of autism, this one a deeply, deeply deteriorated and morbid case.

In his case it is unlike Lanza, who believed he was actually liberating those children from the dystopian hell of civilization, or that parkland faggot, who was seeking simple revenge. In Cho's case, he morbidly, intensely hated people. His hatred was grotesque. His crippling inability to socialize properly combined with his sex drive, which could not be expressed because he was so offputting and unattractive. Something similar can be seen with Eliot Rodger, although his autism is almost comparable to mine, meaning not that bad. He was just clueless and narcissistic.

I could go on, but it is tiresome to do so because the pattern is so predictable. I am aghast that the government is unable to prevent this despite it being so blatant and obvious what the similarities of the conditions are.

It's just that studying this ugly sociological problem is so unpleasant nobody wants to think about it unless they have autistic superpowers.

In all these cases, the unifying pattern is an autist who is not properly understood or placed in the right environments. And/or social antagonism and rejection real or perceived was introduced, causing an aggressive response. It takes an autist to know an autist so I feel I am being the hero by uncovering all this knowledge. You too can put out forest fires and all that.

>>12173522
To bring everything together. Many of these autistic boys get fucked up by puberty. They don't feel secure in their weak bodies, so they reach for guns in order to feel manly. They are compensating for a perceived wound to their masculinity because autism is typically so unattractive and being a scrawny bitch boy is generally frowned upon too.

The relation of compensation between being scrawny and reaching guns is a dead ringer. But in the case of Lanza and perhaps the VT shooter, their autism was probably so bad they couldn't even have gotten to the gym, and had no hope of ever developing sexually.

>>12173522
if you were 10% more literate you’d be capable of so much anon. thank you for this

>>12173543
What is it about inadequate women that leads them to believe they have any authority to evaluate the lives of down and out males to which they have no means of relating? Do they not understand that these men have been told that a beautiful woman is everything in this life? That literal primary school boys evaluate their merit on the amount of girls they speak to? It's almost as if women are in a hugbox of their own creation, a consequence of a system designed to create loving trophy wives for successful men who have submitted to the machine and slave away their lives working to build a better place for the trophy wives and slaves of the future. The thing that really makes me angry, that really grinds my gears, is when these women, coddled as they are by neverending stream of "yas queen"s punctuating their every flatuelent quip and subtle dig at their vehemently lethargic and unmistakably less competent counterparts, believe they have any right to judge men who actually know what it's like to be alone and disregarded in the absolute. It's clinical really. The way women eschew the qualms of these indefinite whiners with their infallible advice and completely alien ideas of responsibility and "the gym". What they don't really realize, is that these men are fundamentally flawed in the way they see this world, and it's not exactly something that isn't affecting everyone. The problem is they're all alone and depressed, waiting for a woman to love them because that's what they've been told the end goal of their lives is. And whether or not you realize it, and believe me when I say MANY women do, this is creating a serious imbalance of power between the sexes and people ACTUALLY believe that women still need more support than men. These people are bitter because this world is a lot harder for men than it is for women, a lot harder, and we have to do it alone. It's aspergers, not autism.

>>12169353
I'm in.

>>12173619
I'm so unbelievably steamed right now I'm going to masturbate twice as often just to spite you. Thanks for the help.

The world sucks
You can tell it really sucks because so many people want to live in America

I keep regretting it to write text messages to the few friends I have when drunk. I must remember to shitpost on image boards the next time. This is embarassing.

>>12169353
Tfw I have to fap to improve my lasting time

>>12170373
>monogamy
Shit was made up by priests that couldn't have sex
Most men just went around sticking it in anything

>>12171032
I once punched a girl in the vagina, I really wish I hadn't

>>12172303
Tfw at 7 I got depressed about the whole nothingness of life and how when we die it's the end. Still have daily thoughts about it

Today I found out I'm a kike. I'm not sure how to deal with this. Pic related.

>>12173750
For me it was having no friends and my parents being abusive

>>12173757
Cut off 3% of your foreskin

>>12173439
cringe / based is almost like a deconstruction of communication, it says nothing and is impossible to interpret in most situations, it could either be ironic or unironic or neither

>>12173418
>I never join any groups or really have a big group of friends. I've never been in any clubs or gay shit like that.
pretty sure some people just get along better with small groups of close friends rather than bigger crowds
personally I'm mildly autistic too, but I'm content with only having a handful of friends, not everyone can be a social butterfly

>>12173773
Burger so it's already cut off.

>>12173774
So like every meme.
I love boom bust cycles of memes and when people explore the deeper feeling behind each meme

>>12172291
I think letting go of the fact that some people are going to hate me really pulled me out of the place you're in now. I act how I want to act, not how I think others want me to act.
A lot of it is chemical imbalance. I still experience extreme lows and suicidal thoughts, but the highs are higher and stay around longer.
>t. manic depressive for 10 years

>>12173892
I really fucking hate therapists to tell you the truth

>>12172810
You're fueling this urge every time you indulge and strengthening it. If you abstain, and the trick to this is to actually abstain mentally not just physically, you'll find your urges to paradoxically decrease. My sex drive is higher with daily activity than whenever I abstain after a week or two. Every time I ever wanted to satiate it, by indulging say 4 or 5 times within 24 hours, it made everything worse for weeks to come. You really need to recognize this arises partially due to behavioral influences. Adjust your behavior accordingly.

>>12173906
I haven't seen a therapist in something like 3 years, but I have church and close people to confide in. Good luck anon

>>12173439
based

>>12173439
This is why I hate this board.

>>12173919
do you still take meds anon?

Birthday coming up soon and feeling terrible. I wish I could strip this sadness away.

On the other hand, I started reading the stranger. Making slow but steady progress.

>>12174053
I want to live in this picture.

>>12174097
Me too, Anon. Me too

>>12169804
It's all that toxoplasma gondii you guys have.

>>12173741
How did that happen

>>12173892
how did you make this jump? i'm a litle bitch who's dominated by what people might think of me

>>12173874
>pepe and wojak were dionysian and apollonian archetypes all along
I still think about that sometimes, it really is true that there is nothing new under the sun.

>>12174115
Stop judging people in your head

>>12173892
thanks anon, i'm really working on letting go of people's opinions of me because logically i can see it doesn't matter but sometimes my brain takes over and freaks out on overdrive. i'll keep working on it. i'm glad your highs have been higher. you're a strong person anon

>>12172842
i'm glad you were born, anon

>>12172329
library genesis

>No job
>No gf
>Just got shitty results for this semester (law).

Every day is JUST for me.

Can you prove to someone who knows nothing about you that you're worth their time in less than 50 words?

I can.

I got up from bed just to eat cold pasta and then I went back to sleeping. I'll probably stay here like a larva for the rest of the day. I can feel my body withering and wasting away, but I have nothing else to do and I have no strength to get dressed and walk out of home.
I've been like this for so long I have forgotten how to live normally. I feel like there is no hope for me, I am too far gone.

>>12174237
Maybe you should spend more time studying instead of goofing around on an anime website. You probably don't even like anime.

December came with warm weather but a snow storm in my heart.

Once more I am reminded that there are women out there that do satisfy all my standards
Sometimes I wonder whether it would be easier to be ignorant of it

>>12174252
Prove it.

sure as shit not going to feed the fbi free info, nor read the copy pasta most faggots here will be slinging lol, gfy

>>12174156
you make it sound simple

>>12172329
You know about sci hub, right?

Children are so fucking disgusting holy fucking shit they look at me and start drooling saliva and it makes me retch, I hate them so much

I'm trying to think of a snarky way of saying I don't trust something but I have a block.

"I wouldn't trust x to do y".

>>12169627
>implying that the Europeans aren't already getting sick of refugees
The last batch didn't settle in too good

>>12169335
>What is sweat, urination, excretion?

>>12174405
Not comparable.

what kind of sick fuck made "DeepSlutPuppy #6 - REMIX - Extreme cum drinking version"? i don't think ever fault so nauseous and turned on at the same time...

I am so lonely and horny
I want to use book money to FUCK A LITERAL WHORE, I SWEAR

>>12174485
stop watching porn

>>12174499
I did

HEEEELP IM MY OWN UNDOING - WHY DOES MY LIFE KEEP FALLING APART - I KNOW WHY DOESNT HELP ETHER WAY - ITS ME - WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS - THE WORST PRISON - SUCH A LITTLE THING - I KEEP LYING TO MY PARENTS

>>12169323
I'm now done with my undergraduate studies. Should feel relieved, or accomplished, but I don't. Nothing really to do now except laze around for the month of December and then start studying for the GREs and/or looking for a job I guess.

>>12169412
Are frogs ever not rioting?

>>12174528
>Nothing really to do now except laze around for the month of December and then start studying for the GREs
This.
Job market pays too low starting and you'll just be struggling, even at 45k starting. Go back to school.
If you sit around, you risk unemployment which will lead to deliquincy and default in your loans and make you ineligible for grad loans until you've made a number of payments. Especially if you don't already have a job lined up before you graduate, you're going to struggle.

I finally caved in and took some Valium. I'll be at peace and not think of suicide for a bit
I'm going to rot in bed

>>12169412
how much of a mong do u have to be for college to not be for u?

>>12174557
My life/job circumstance is absolutely fucked, anon. Never had an internship, my degree is oversaturated and too general to be worth anything without graduate level education, and I just don't have much work experience in general. Loans aren't a problem, thank christ, but they will be later I'm sure.
Hoping I can find a decent retail (or even like, data entry) gig for a few months, save up some money while getting everything ready for grad program applications.

2019 gonna be scary for a lot of reasons

>>12169323
I have not read a page in over a month. I do not know what is going on with me.

I matched with a qt italian girl on bumble the first day i opened the account. Conversation was going pretty well, and given that i put on my bio that if you spoke italian i would take you to lunch, also following /soc/ advice of not wasting time and being direct, i asked her where she wanted to go to lunch.I have not received a response to this day, and I do not know what to make of it.

>>12174688
>asking women questions

how old are you?

>>12174693
what the fuck does that mean?

>>12174902
If you're older than 18 and asking a woman where she would like to eat, then you're hopeless

>>12169350
>not feeling emotion
>hard

It sounds like you are feeling emotions, just not 'positive' ones. This is why you don't self diagnose and try to fix yourself but it doesn't work when you're so far gone. Go see a therapist.

>>12169353
we're in this together anon

>>12174928
nigga, i'm new in town and barely know any cool places other than springs to go practice apnea. do you know how many women like to hold their breath for over a minute and go inside caves with a small flashlight?

Passive-agressive bitch.

>>12174954
In truth it's very complicated, and I don't expect anyone to understand unless they've had it. You see, I do have emotions in a sense, but they're not like most people's. Imagine a scale where the greatest feelings rise up toward ten and the worst approach zero. My emotional range then is about 4.5-5.5, usually hovering in the exact center, and in fact is probably even less than that. I can 'suffer' in a sense, but even then it's not a fraction as bad as actual suffering faced by most people. On the reverse side, my pleasure is nowhere near to what other people feel. Each day is the exact same. If I won the lottery, there's nothing I could buy that would be really enjoyable or fun other than drugs.

I don't really know how to explain it, it sounds like typical depression yeah? But my reward system is broken at the core. I move from hobby to hobby and drop each one after a week because the thrills wear off. I bought a Nintendo Switch a month ago and I didn't even touch it after a few days because playing the games was like a chore that I got nothing from. I listen to almost the same music I discovered in 2015 and before because nothing since manages to excite my emotions. I can't remember the last time I felt lonely. My mom almost OD'd a year or two ago and all I could think was 'why don't I care right now?'.

It's hard because life still requires energy to run, but I don't get any joy for all the effort I put in. You know that feel when you facedive into a bunch of pillows after a hard day's work and it feels amazing? That's gone for me. That comfort from the sound of rain? Gone. Orgasm now isn't even worth the effort, and I can do 7 days of nofap easily because of it.

Maybe you're still not convinced. It's okay. I tried therapy once, it did nothing. I tried forcing my emotions out with all my might - didn't work. I wish there were more I could do, but now all I have is the meds.

>>12170649
I'll try it when I can afford it.

>>12175255
try going 30 day nofap inst4ead of 7 and then you'll see

>>12175233
You did well anon, don't worry about the woman. Sometimes they stop responding when it goes too fast (or just when it goes somewhere, for that matter). And I think the other anon was on about some retarded pua shit, like "asking questions puts you in a position of inferiority" or something

>>12175323
I did 10 days recently. Why do you expect that to make a difference?

>>12175332
because one ejaculation is formed in the body for 30 days. and thats also how you get your first drip of spiritual energy and feel deep joy, love, etc

>>12175341
That sounds like bullshit.

>>12175354
whatever keep eating your pills, and posting muh dead inside on lit, faggot

>>12175255
clean your room

>>12175365
>pills
Not as retarded as spiritual talk, come on.

>>12175411
id rather kms than eat some chemicals some jew gives me

I'm sorry, but I'm not into any of your basados, rotpillgeschichte, gold mines nor any forest fires for that matter. What I want is on my mind and way out on the horizon.

It must suck to be a shot person in a fantasy universe that features the Dwarven race. They are basically your height but can bulldoze you physically and exceed you in terms of industry and determination.

A short human might have a chance to beat a dwarf in the same way a goblin might, but only if he is swift and stabby like a rogue.

>>12175623
*short person