/lit/ - Literature

>>12141695

here it is:

>>12141695
her first words were "i don't feel anything" then i punched her

she sounds nice

>>12141701
based

For sale: condoms, unopened.

>>12141695
>we get under the sheets in her apartment
>she's 4 years older than me
>I attempt to get her bra off but I'm uncertain and I ask
>She say something like "Don't be so formal"
>I take off her bra, which slides off her pale arms
>I see her perky small breasts and they brush against me
>We kiss, she kisses me all over
>her long black hair all over me
>it's all really slow
>She unbuttons my pants
>"A-Are you sure?" I ask for some reason
>She laughs
>She gives me a long, deep succ that lasted forever
>I watched her as she bobbed up and down from the side, her hair tucked behind her neck so I could see
>I come with the strength of a thousand suns and she swallows while still succ
>I start shaking like a leaf
>she says "aww you're trembling" and hugs me

>>12141695
God, I wish I wasn't a virgin.

i came, saw and came

>>12141695
>first sexual experience
so masturbating? everyone's story will be more or less the same aside from those who got molested.

>>12141695
This is the most pathetic thing I've read all day

Interesting premise OP, and I enjoyed reading what you wrote.

I've enjoyed every sexual experience and relationship I've had aside from my first one. I'm tempted to just use my second experience as my story as it was much more romantic and nice. But for the sake of honesty (and possibly a more interesting story) I will stick to recounting my first experience.

>Be naive and melancholy 18 year old freshmen at a Liberal Arts college
>Be son of a liberal Academic and raised in a liberal city
>Attended Catholic School for middle school purely because it was affordable, but end up taking Catholic doctrine to heart, especially the guilt and sacredness of sexuality
>Was a volcel for all of High School because I didn't want to have sex with anyone who I couldn't conceive of myself possibly marrying.
>End up in a degenerate, morally bankrupt shithole known as a Liberal Arts college since my Dad encouraged me to go there.
>Made some great friends my first semester
>Second semester my friend group falls apart after the core person had to leave due to mother dying
>Feel super depressed and lonely after best friend left me in that shithole to rot alone.
>This one girl who I kept rejecting first semester uses this as an opportunity to get close to me.
>She was cute, but lacked all of the characteristics I like in a girl (she was a hardcore feminist and therefore took pride in rejecting any notions of femininity)
>Incessantly finds chances to hang out with me.
>She becomes the only person I can vent my feelings to
>End up in her room under the excuse that we would watch a movie together
>Being naive and stupid, I genuinely thought we would only watch the movie.
>Not even 5 minutes in she is resting her body on me and begging for physical attention
>Can't pay any God damn attention to the movie with a cute girl's head on my lap
>Look down at her face and forget how much I despise her personality and lack of virtue
>Notice that her facial features are fairly attractive
>Begin kissing her (this is my first kiss btw)
>Progress into breast fondling faze
>A conflicting voice in the back of my head is aware of my complete lack of feelings for this girl
>See her as simply a piece of meat to use for pleasure
>Feel repulsed at my self, but my penis has usurped all control of my mind and I submit myself to the situation
>She starts blowing me
>Fantasized about getting a blowjob since puberty
>Was disappointing, but enjoyable enough to let her continue
>Ejaculate into her mouth
>Feel complete and utter disgust with myself
>End up in a weird toxic relationship with her for the rest of the semester

If people found this interesting, the process in which we broke up was better. I might share that

>>12141695
Do you go to the University of Waterloo

This sounds too familiar for you not to.

>>12141695

>>12141695
dad caught me fappin, took me to a brothel and that was that

Do you guys remember being 15 browsing 4ch reading all those stories about 25 yr/o khv anons and being like "damn I'm not super popular but atleast I'll never be like that hahaha" and now you're 21 and still haven't been inside a girl

>>12141695
Tinder. I fucking hate it; people commodify themselves just to find a little company. I was so lonely and it seemed like a quick solution, sadly I just ended up marketing myself for a hollow sexual experience. Losing my virginity was the most vapid experience of my life but on a less sour note it did reveal to me the horrors of a society where convenience is god.

>>12142115
I'm interested OP, go on.

>>12142115
go on...

We’re where you think we are, fumbling through the white rocks of the creek bed, cutting through the wind like free reeds in open drawers. We ran down here from the bedroom because we decided it was time enough for a walk and that we may as well go someplace cold and aching while we still have the chance. Before that we’d been in one long piece under the floorboards smudging into eachother while some cartoon carried on in the background, giggling apologies in the warm winter air. We’re both sick. My nose is running and I’m worried that it might stain your shirt, but you tell me that you’ll have to do laundry afterwards anyway (socks, surely) so just let it all out. Believe me, I tried.

My teeth feel brittle and I’m trying to remember the shape of your jaw as my fingers leap from one bruise to the next before falling into the still water underneath, the two of us tracing little circles between the worms and ripples. Your brassy cheeks are stretching imitations of the dobsonflies while I feel around for our shoelaces. I tell you something you already know and you spill out a secret you knew you couldn’t keep. Then we tie up and walk away, up to hill towards the mailbox, and we tell eachother this is where and nothing else. I’ll see you in a minute.

It was New Years Eve and we couldn’t say anything, because neither of us had figured the other out. I liked to think then that we were both better off, but then months down and later on cutting holiday designs into baking trays and wrapping sheets and everything seems to be right and carefully arranged. I’m so happy you’re alive. They found you underneath the sink overloaded with pink and yellow press-on dots, you sent me a letter and I cried through a few others. I take your fingers in my hand and curl them around the memory of my spine, imagine little hellgrammite shapes across us and try hard not to move. I’ve got nothing else I can do. I watch you sign your name up and down and imagine a reason.

>>12142165
I remember sitting on the floor next to your bed, being held very still as the TV flickered primate shapes at us through the green-black screen. If I move, something will go wrong, get unplugged, and you won’t be able to show me. Then later an agent of masks and slate gray polish while I sat ashamed behind you struggling to remember somebody who you weren’t because I hope it might make things easier for one or both. In the loft next to the dog while a snake and a falcon fell off the stage. I’m sure you let it happen but I’ll pretend alongside you so we can say it’s all for fun. Pasta in a plastic container and a fork run circular through a couple shapes. I’m so grateful and I don’t know what to say. Another time on the kitchen floor crouching over a red spot, gripping hard the handle off the carving knife that made you cry with all my callousness. I’m so sorry.

I look over to you without thinking. You’re somewhere else but I think I still know the way. You’re long and thin and drawn all over, but I can still look in your eyes and see myself. You lift both your arms over your head to show me your collection of gossamer chains, gentle lacework binding you all together, so beautiful and trembling with flies.

>>12141695
Okay, it's kind of a long story but here you go:

>be 19 in college
>girl I sort of like keeps talking to me after class, comes up with excuses to drop by my dorm
>a weird dance of neither of us directly expressing sexual desire to one another, but indirectly expressing it literally as much as possible, goes on for about 3 months
>one day we’re talking on my couch and impulsively kiss her
>3 months of built-up sexual tension between two horny virgins explodes into animalistic groping and aggressive kissing
>start to feel her pussy
>it’s so soaked that I’m actually sort of weirded out, thinking “jeez, vaginas are weird, eh?”
>we attempt to have sex
>her hymen basically explodes and she immediately begins crying inconsolably
>sit on bed attempting to comfort her for two hours before she suddenly becomes extremely angry and says that she feels violated in ways far beyond the merely sexual
>don’t talk to her for a month after that because of the awkwardness
>run into her and talk over that weird night
>we begin dating

And thus began a 4 year adventure with her brutal emotional abuse, insatiable sexual appetite, weekly break-ups and reconciliations, suicide threats, and, at various times, screaming knife-wielding soliloquies that once got the police called to my apartment.

She’s a lesbian now and we’re still friends.

>>12142138

Literally just talk to any woman ever and one will have sex with you. The KHV crowd is universally just too intimidated to talk to women (or just physically/socially repulsive lmao). When you realize women are people, it’s way easier to take them to the bone zone.

>>12141695
It was with my tulpa

>having sex with women
lol get a life

>>12142115
I hate you for many reasons

>>12141695
We met by chance on the train. She recognized me somehow, remembered me from high school. I had no recollection of her, it’s possible that we had never even met but I went along with it. She had this tender openness about her. Complete purity and truth devoid of falsehood. No talking behind smokescreens while slowly picking at the true meaning of our conversation. I was headed to work, she had a seminar to teach, we both decided to play hookey and spend the day catching up. We went to a local coffee shop and rnddd up talking for hours. The owner practically dragged us out. In those few hours I had bonded so closely with her that I couldn’t imagine my life before this morning, before having met her. I could feel this sort of ethereal connection that I had with her. It felt like it had just formed but at the same time it was always there and that it would continue to be there. This deep meaningful connection is what I had given up on long ago, I believed it to be fictitious but here this person stood before me that spat in the face of all that. With nowhere else to go we settled on my apartment. Had more coffee. Talked. And talked. And talked. We laid on the couch together just looking at each others eyes, fully clothed, not preoccupied with carnal pleasure because we both realized we had happened upon something much grander. I fell asleep that night staring into her eyes, when I woke up she was gone. I was no longer in my apartment. I couldn’t even remember anything about my apartment. A startling realization hit me. I lived with my parents. I didn’t have an apartment. I was lying on the frail twin mattress that I had been using for over a decade now. Various anime memorabilia lay across from me, a worn Hatsune Miku poster was plastered on the wall in front of me. A tear trickled down my cheek. As reality dawned upon me I let out a haunting shriek. I bellowed “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SO HORNY AND LONELY AND JUST WANT A GF FOR COMPANIONSHIP AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRREEEEGGGGGHHHHH”

>>12141695
At the ripe age of 14, a 22 year old girl with ample bosom and starkly dyed red hair invited me over to watch a film. We had talked a lot prior to this, and bonded over some mutual interests such as bands and video games. My taste was juvenile and plebeian, but it suited well with her own.

When I entered her apartment after having taken the train for twenty minutes to her house, it smelled very strongly of dog urine. She asked if it smelled, and I responded negatively. She sighed and lead me to her bedroom.

It was a mess. Her bed was a barren, sheetless mattress lying upon the carpeted floor - all around were magazines, video games and other assorted nonsense. She said to sit down on the mattress, and I did as she said, expecting for her to turn on the television in her room and to put on a film. She immediately sat on my lap and faced directly toward me, and began kissing my neck. It was the most incredible pleasure that I had ever experienced at that point in my life - I immediately fell into a trance of ecstasy, unable to control myself whatsoever. I fell back into the mattress and she began kissing me all over and removing articles of clothing. I took my leather jacket off, and she pushed my long black hair out of my eyes. She remarked that the makeup that I wore (white foundation, eyeliner, some light red lipstick) was beautiful and that it made her feel inadequate. It was at this time that I looked to my right and saw upon the wall numerous drawings of men and boys fitting my description. I asked her who they were and she replied by saying that they were her ex boyfriends, and that I needn't worry about them. After minutes of kissing, she asked if I'd like to have sex. I said that I wasn't ready to do that, and she said that she had had a miscarriage after being impregnated, and that she wanted to get pregnant again. I said nothing and she took off my pants and began to lick at my underwear. I removed my underwear and she sucked my penis for well over half an hour before I ejaculated into her mouth and she swallowed it. I think that I may have kissed her afterwards. We got out of bed after an hour, and I put on my clothes and walked back to the train station, confused.

>>12143276
I should add that I never contacted her again and she sent me over a thousand distraught and psychopathic messages.

she squirted like three times
shit was so cash

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOP FUCKKKKKKKKING REMINDING ME I'M A LONELY AND HORNEY VIRGIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>12143276
>>12143283
Both hot and terrifying, standing on the precipice of that abyss

Several:
>Be 5 or 6
>My (male) friend and I are sucking each other off, I remember how salty it tasted and how much better it felt to get sucked
Next:
>Be 8 or 9
>Sister is having a sleepover with one of her friends, a young (but older than me) black girl named Shaudia
>In the middle of the night, she wakes me up and asks if I want to have sex
>I feel uncomfortable, and keep asking questions, even making her draw a diagram of how it works
>Eventually go into the bathroom and look down at my little penis and know something is supposed to happen, and know that it's not going to happen
>Nothing does
Later:
>Be 19
>Relatively early adopter of online dating
>Still technically a virgin despite an online date where I even took a 3 hour bus ride and made out with/fingered a girl
>Start talking with "DorkyHippy1983"
>Eventually start talking for several weeks
>She asks me to come visit her in Philadelphia
>I arrive and we kissed within the first 5 minutes
>She is awkward and strange and suburban and kind and excited to have a boy with her
>We drive to her friend's house
>I pull out my weed and the 4 of us start smoking
>Before I know it I'm being attached by her, she's all over me
>Her friend and friend's boyfriend (who I will admit are obviously more attractive than either of us) go upstairs to fuck
>In the next few minutes I find myself having very unsatisfying sex, from a sensation standpoint, while Fake Plastic Trees plays in the background
>She begins singing during sex
>I don't ejaculate
>Afterwards she says she can't believe I'm a virgin
>I'm just confused and dismayed at how little I feel and felt
>Eventually discover that when she was 13 she saw her best friend hang herself years ago, right in front of her, and thought it was a game, and has never emotionally recovered from it
>I think she lives in Texas now

>>12143377
>>She begins singing during sex

A nightmare.

>>12143394
After this, I looked her up, and it looks like she is working at a Texas mental health non-profit. She always looked a little like a grandmother even in her early twenties, much more now in her thirties. I still feel a visceral sensation looking at her, not wholly pleasant, but I should let myself feel it fully or else live with the dregs of it sloshing around in my gut forever.

I actually can't comprehend a girl hitting on me like a lot of people describe here, it seems so foreign. I'm not even bad looking

>>12143416
It's a strange feeling. Even weirder, though, I'm this Anon here >>12143276

I had a string of girlfriends and minor sexual relationships from 14 to 19, but after that, despite my hardest, I've never been approached by another woman, and any attempts that I've made have ended in failure.

>tfw peaked at 19

The only things that have changed is that I started working out, became really interested in literature and philsophy and got a good job.

What the actual fuck.

>>12143416
It's likely happened already but you weren't cognizant. Women don't want to be seen as sluts but they want the dicc, so they have to be subtle, sometimes way too subtle to get the point across.
>>12143424
Most of the time, when a woman has approached me, I have decided that I'm not interested, like the many dates where I approached or kissed women and found they were not interested. The few times when it was mutual were very satisfying indeed.

>>12143432
Don't get me wrong, I've noticed a good few women that were probably interested in me to some degree (can usually tell by the eye contact), but i've never experienced being on the receiving end of a forward one like people have here (e.g. invited to something, making excuses to invite themselves, etc.)

>>12142190
tell me more about this, not certain stories, just whole picture of your relation with her

sex is vulgar and sinful

Holy fuck, and I thought my first time was bad.

I met up with another dude on a gay hookup app. I tried to flake out of it (as I always do, because I am a coward) but he insisted and I relented. We met up in the city and got some drinks, and then got pizza. The conversation was pretty boring and mundane - mostly about what we were studying and what we were doing in life and what we hoped to achieve. It became somewhat more interesting when we started talking about politics, which was an interest of both of us, but his beliefs were typical bleeding heart university student fare whereas I am more of a /pol/yp, so I kept away from any substantive discussion and we mostly just made fun of centrists. I found all of this intensely boring.

After we'd had the pizza we walked around the city gardens for a while in the night, and he asked if I wanted to fuck under the dock, which was his fucking spot. I said I'd rather not, but we could go back to his place. He said he didn't want his roommates to see. We sat on a bench and kissed for a while - I didn't enjoy it and I got the strong impression he didn't either, but I did grope his crotch and feel that he was very erect. I was not, because I had masturbated twice already that day and pretty soon before I left to meet him.

We went back to his house and sneaked into his room (he rented with flatmates). He went to get some shit from another room and I desperately tried to get hard while he was out, and failed. When he came back he fucked me in the ass with the lights off and I didn't get hard. It did feel good though. The lube was cold. He came after a while and I made the in retrospect inadvisable comment "is that it?" Of course he noticed that I was soft the entire time - I blamed it on the alcohol.

He went and had a shower and I lay there thoroughly embarrassed. When he came back we watched cartoons on his laptop for a while, and then I called a cab and left. Didn't even stay the night.

Afterwards I ghosted him on social media.

Thus began, and thus ended, my sexual activity. I think having done it the once I am better poised to do it again - I know now the importance of saving up the spooge and being relaxed instead of fearful. Unfortunately I've not found anyone else interested in me since. But at the same time, I've not really been trying hard. Porn is just easier.

>>12143741
Sounds like you don't care too much about sex. It's ok.

>>12142146
I would try that shit but I'm honestly too disgusted at myself for being a NEET at 31, I just don't feel attractive anymore. I feel like I'm doomed to beat my meat at increasingly fucked up porn for the rest of my life

>>12143748
I think it's just that I'm fat, but I don't like being fat. Option 1 is to go after normal dudes and get rejected for being fat (being a fat gay is like being a Jew in Hitler's Germany). Option 2, which is the option I pursued initially, is to just let the guys who like fat dudes hit on me. They're into it but I'm not, so I just feel embarrassed.

Option 3, which is what I'm pursuing at the moment with substantial success, is to lose weight and work hard to the point where I am conventionally attractive and then jump on the cock carousel with all the other normal gays. Unfortunately I am 23 already, leaving me just 1 and a bit years of being "young" (20-25 isn't really young, but it's better than 25+) to get my shit in order and get out there.

My modus operandi is an extremely calorie-restricted diet which should have me down to the low healthy range BMI, coupled with daily bodyweight exercise so that I don't turn into auschwitz mode on the way. Then, once I achieve that, probably steroids and heavy lifting to try and pack on the muscle as quickly as possible so that I can just make the 25th birthday deadline.

Statistically, if you don't get sexually active before 25 you're unlikely to get sexually active before 40.

>>12143768
I heard from gay friends that the gay dating scene is extremely tough and it's mostly casual hookups with no real chance of a lasting relationship. Good luck with the exercise if that's really what you want to do

>>12143777
>I heard from gay friends that the gay dating scene is extremely tough and it's mostly casual hookups with no real chance of a lasting relationship
Yes, that's completely accurate.

If you're hot (visible abs) then you can have as much ass as you want at your beck and call. If you're not, you get nothing. But long term exclusive monogamous relationships like the straights have are basically nonexistent.

>Good luck with the exercise if that's really what you want to do
Thanks anon. Here's hoping.

>>12143571

Basically, I think the root fact in all the insanity is that she was sexually abused by her dad, so she had this weird back and forth relationship with sex. She was naturally extremely sexual (the first time we actually managed to have sex, we did so 4 times in 24 hours) but would occasionally fly into recriminating rages where she would say things like that she was just a sexual object to me, that I was emotionally raping her, etc. etc. It was definitely odd to have this girl who would alternately say things like "fuck me now - don't say another word" if I wore a suit and then basically renounce all sexuality as manipulative and evil.

She was quite witty and could make Holocaust jokes with the best of them, but she was constantly up and down emotionally (and on my penis lmao). One time she woke up at like 4am after having had a dream that I did something bad (cheated on her, I think) and she started screaming and screaming so loudly that people from other apartments knocked on my door because they thought I was beating her. Similarly, during one argument, she grabbed a knife, threatened to stab me, and made a lunge at me before collapsing on the ground sobbing.

A lot of the arguments were nominally about her feeling that I pressured her into sex the first time (which isn't true), but they were really about her tortured relationship with sexuality generally - she would just latch onto particular moments as a way of discussing that stuff. Once she got started, it was usually about 3-4 hours of alternately crying, yelling, apologizing, renouncing argumentativeness, etc.

She simultaneously hated me for being male at all, because all sexual activity reminded her (I think) of her father's sexual abuse of her, and was absolutely wildly in love with me emotionally and extremely desirous of me sexually - so because these two things were constantly on her mind and are probably the two most emotionally powerful things (sexual trauma and love/sexual desire), the relationship was extraordinarily volatile.

I also loved her deeply - though by the end I was functioning more like a psychologist to her, constantly trying to talk her down from her emotional outbursts, and we slowly stopped having sex and functioning more as friends, which is how things are now. She's much more stable these days and is, as I said, lesbian (though I don't really believe she truly is a lesbian, for all the obvious reasons laid out here).

This all probably paints a negative picture of the relationship, but whenever she wasn't in one of her fits, she was very kind, thoughtful, intelligent, and sweet. She would leave cute notes around my apartment after cleaning/making the bed/etc, remember things that I said months ago to find the best possible Christmas gift, volunteer at an animal shelter, etc etc. She is a wonderful person, but obviously has some sort of complex about sex and I, by virtue of being the one having sex with her, had to deal with that stuff.

>>12142804
Literally my diary desu

>>12143813
I have very little tolerance for people's dramatics (probably due to a complex of my own) but even so she sounds like one of the few nutjobs worth of some measure of sympathy and understanding.

Thank you for the interesting story anon. What I love most about 4chan is the range of perspectives and life experiences it exposes you to.

she asked if it was in yet and i was worried for a while until i realized she said 'is all of it in yet' after she started panting and asking me how much more dick do i have in a pained voice. im unsure if im actually big or if shes small and have yet to be with anyone else so i have no way of knowing.
i dont really miss her, the sex was ok.

>>12143813
That's horrifying, to see a person so clearly damaged and not being able to do anything for them.

A year ago I was babysitting my step cousin. She's 12. 5'0" and has the lightest, most insanely beautiful beach-blonde hair, 100% natural. Her skin is a gorgeous milky white, not pasty but porcelain. Her cheeks are always flushed and her lips are naturally thick and reddish-pink. Anyway she's like a doll, she's real perfect and thin, with a cute slightly upturned ski slope nose.. This story isn't copypasta, it's 100% truth. We were watching a movie in her bedroom together and sitting on my lap. I began to think less about the movie and more about her. I was getting a boner from the pressure of her sitting down on my cock and it was just about to make its way through my jeans. She shifted in my lap, which made a shitload of precum seep out. I couldn't take it anymore. I NEEDED to go into the bathroom and FAP. VIGOROUSLY. I wasn't wearing a belt this day, by the way, which was just fucking perfect.

"Hey I'm going to the bathroom for a sec, OK?" "Mm hm" and as I stood up my jeans fell down, exposing my boner, which stuck out through the opening in my boxers. I switched immediately to for-fuck's-sake-God-make-me-invisible mode because I knew she was going to see my big stupid cock. She stared, mouth open at my erection for a moment that seemed like forever. Her eyes on me made me even more pre-jizz leak out onto the fluffy white carpet.

"Daniel, did you want to fuck me?"

"What, did you?" I asked, pulling up my jeans.

"You got me very wet," she sighed, staring down at her lilac knee socks.

"I do want you," I admitted.

Turned out she had a cock and raped me in the ass. I cry every night about it. But I guess that's life. Should I get help?

>>12142600
absolutely based and redpilled

>>12141756
Kek

>>12143845
>What I love most about 4chan is the range of perspectives and life experiences it exposes you to.
I'm here mostly for the incest stories

>>12141695

>>12143845
>>12143848

To sort of give you an idea of how much I loved her despite her problems, this is a letter I wrote her while she was on vacation in Thailand. The sort of interaction typified by this letter are most of what our relationship was like - but obviously the bad stuff weighs more heavily on one's mind. Hopefully it can illustrate some of the reason why I still stayed with her and cared for her despite the problems.

>>12143875

>>12143875
>letter part 1
there's no way she read all that shit

>>12143875
That's an interesting window into your life. I can definitely imagine it being carefully analysed by hordes of scholars after being discovered in your desk when you die. You will, of course, by that point be a world-famous author.

>>12143888

And an example of her sense of humor. (She was ethnically Taiwanese)

>>12143849
lawl got me good anon

>>12141695
Very similar story but a little more bitter sweet. I came in my pants too; I was 21 and she was 18, we met in a class.

Only difference is we did it at her parents house. We had a soft break up nearly a week later because most of my friends did not like her.

>>12141781
i've always wanted a raven haired skellington irish girl. ugh i hate you.

>>12141695
>be me
>late 20s, almost a wizard
>very athletic but completely innocent
>friend from work invites me out with her friend who also works with us
>i knew this girl kind of liked me
>curvy irish girl, blue eyes, curly brown hair, thicccc bottom
>her friend left already, we hug goodbye
>I am rock hard and she moans
>invite her back to my place to watch tv, we go
>i brush my teeth and come out in shorts and shirt
>she's in my bed naked under a cover
>omfg this is it
>i lick the clit like it's the best thing ever
>she shivers when she comes
>i move up to kiss her on the mouth, then sit on my heels and wrap it up
>one bushy pink vagoo, going in
>we fuck for six hours, i drop her off come back and take a nap
>next morning i go for a run with friends and i can barely walk
A couple weeks later she dis-a-fucking-ppears with almost zero notice, she knew she was leaving the whole time but never told me. When she came back months later we were together for a bit but it was kind of a mutual break-up. Now she is trans and taking hormones.

>>12142138
I never had that denial, I had a fear, so I ended up with some borderline chick at 16yo and have convinced myself that I've been volcel for the past 8 years. Allowing myself to be abused was the first time I felt like I had been loved and my retarded brain believes that abuse is the first sign of attraction, so I reject every advance because that's not attraction to my impulse brain I say that I'm bettering myself to become someone that can be loved, but as true as that is, it feels like an incel cope.

I dont think a single human being has ever been attracted to me.

" "

>>12143777
Do you find it the least bit surprising, knowing how men behave with women?

>>12142115
>>12142157
Now that I have time I'll finish the story.

What ended up happening is that last minute she applied for the same Summer term in Taiwan that I was enrolled to do. Throughout the Spring semester it was a fairly toxic relationship where I had developed feelings for her, but every time I made this clear she would lose interest in me shortly after. Then I would give up on her, but she would then obsessively try to get my attention again. So I was in a cycle of wanting to be with her, she would constantly flake on me, then I would give up on her, that would trigger her interest back, and then we would (briefly) reconcile things.

We were in Taiwan together for a month. We ended things on indeterminate grounds before going, so once we were in a foreign country together, I think the loneliness got to her and she would constantly pester me. Aside from sexual activity, it was usually a drag to be with her because she was very depressive. She understood this well, because often when I was disengaged with her she would start being seductive. I also was going through a rough time emotionally at that time, so I think our misery kept us together.

After a conversation where she made it clear she doesn't want to commit to anyone, I told her I can't be with her. She accepted, but a couple days later would keep trying to seduce me. I fell for it for a couple of days, and then upon realizing her manipulative tactics I swore to be completely abstinent around her. I wouldn't reciprocate any touches, and would take her hands off me whenever she would touch me. I then broke up with her the last time ever after walking around the night streets of Taipei with her for something like 5 hours.

After the summer term, I took a trip to Japan alone partly to reflect on things. I really enjoyed my time there and wished I could have experienced Taiwan without her having been there.

The next year I ignored her and spent most of my time focused on transferring to a Uni in Japan (which I achieved). All my other sexual and romantic experiences have been with Japanese women. Even the experiences that weren't that great, were a touch of Heaven's clouds compared to being with that first girl. Its probably due to this that I adamantly believe Japanese Girls > American girls

>>12144073
>Aside from sexual activity, it was usually a drag to be with her because she was very depressive. She understood this well, because often when I was disengaged with her she would start being seductive.
How should it feel, I wonder, to know that the only reason someone stays with you is because of your body. Would have probably driven me insane.

Ten years ago, as a college freshman, I went home for winter break and while bored at home, my high school crush texted me asking if I'd like to go out with her and some friends to set off fireworks for new year's. Naturally, I was elated and said yes. I subsequently spruced up for the ocassion and meditated on love cause I was a dumb hippie back then. Maybe that helped. Maybe not.

I think we drank wine and smoked pot and cigarettes. We were out in the countryside and could see stars. I was playing with her hand cause I had read touch was flirty. It was then when she kissed me. It was my first. She used tongue. I kissed back. We proceeded to dry hump and fondle despite clothes. This went ln all night. She offered to give me a blowjob. I asked if she wanted to have sex. She said no and I said no. The next day she called me and told me it was a mistake cause she had a boyfriend.

A week later, she invited me over to spend the night cause her parents were out and we made out and dry humped again and I consented to a blowjob and got off from her mouth and we cuddled and talked about boys and girls for a long time. It was bittersweet cause we talked about loving each other and other people simultaneously and how it wouldn't really work after the holidays but also ecstatic cause of orgasm and because I felt I had or finally could close the bookend on the experience of unrequited high school love. Idk. Also the beginning of a lifelong love of oral, lol.

I ended up texting a cute blonde girl I had met at a party at college on campus who gave me her number about the whole affair and she was really sweet and wanted to meet up after the winter break. I think we sat on a hill and talked for that first date. Can't remember what about. I held her hand for a bit. We didn't kiss till a few days later. I kinda made a big production of it. She found it charming. She didn't care for tongue tho.

Within a week or two, we were over in each other's dorms constantly. I continually tried to disrobe her and worship at the altar of her amazing body but she was quite prudish at first. Probably because I refused to label the relationship. Eventually she simply got so hot and bothered by my pesterings one night that we went out and bought condoms while stumbling drunk and making out all the way from a party to our dorms.

She rode me cowgirl and I kissed her and choked her and played with her clit and sucked her perfect perky breasts and even managed to fuck her doggy and also with her on her back with feet over my shoulders for a while. I was very dedicated back then, even as a virgin.

I never revealed to either girl I was a virgin. At least, not initially. High school crush and I stopped talking as much over the years despite or perhaps because of similar incidents. Blonde qt is married now but was the best sex and romance I've ever had. Sadly, relationship was ruined by my insanity, insecurity, and immaturity. Miss her still sometimes. Despite many lovers since.

I was 15 years old and pinned against my new girlfriends wall. she crawled inside my mouth, leading with her tongue, my eyes wide open watching this creature make a meal of me. with her one hand on the back of my neck, the other caressed the local swelling behind my catholic uniform slacks. Her nimble fingers made quick work of the button and zipper, and before I could react, my naked cock was in her hand. she stroked it randomly, amateurly. but the feel of foreign, cool skin hugging my bare throbbing cock was a sensation that dominated the years I spent mastering the craft in solitude. her uniform sweater hung long on her arms, bunching up at the hand she used to submit me. i began to think how awful it would be if I ruined her sweater. I attempted to warn her, but the words were pushed back into my throat by her persistent tongue. I was reduced to merely a thumping heart, trembling knees, and incomprehensible noises. Less than a minute later I came for her. I could feel her delight as her focused lips turned to a smile. Her stroking became more deliberate with each rope of cum I pumped out. I could tell she liked the feeling of the cum moving through my cock, and she grasped it in such a way to increase the intensity. When my senses returned we looked into each other’s eyes and we laughed out of playful embarrassment. Her sleeve, as expected, was a casualty, as was her uniform skirt, her stockings, and her area rug. I felt no shame, only a sense of obligation that I needed to return the favor.

>>12144276
just like in my japanese anime

>>12144345
;^)

>>12142804
Ouch

>>12144276
>she stroked it randomly, amateurly. but the feel of foreign, cool skin hugging my bare throbbing cock was a sensation that dominated the years I spent mastering the craft in solitude
You really can write smut. I'm impressed and aroused.

>>12141695

>insane gfs
>breakups
>drama

Being a virgin doesn't feel that bad after reading this depressive thread.

I was 22 and couldn't get it up. Kissed her all over, licked her pussy a bit, then she began touching my penis in the hope that it will get up. It didn't.
I think the reason it happened was that I was disappointed. After building up the contact with woman in my head for so long, I discovered that the breast is just a weird, tasteless lump of meat and the touching female thighs or ass is literally like touching your own thighs or ass.

>>12144431
life is either still water with no life in it or a massive trainwreck with no brakes

>>12144276
10/10 would read again

>>12144276

>>12144441
>I discovered that the breast is just a weird, tasteless lump of meat and the touching female thighs or ass is literally like touching your own thighs or ass.
anon I'm sorry to break it to you but you might be gay

I had been living with her for a month. Her bathroom mirror had my writing (using her lipstick) on it for the past couple weeks. There were stab marks in her sheets that I caused with a knife. A few more things like that throughout her room.

I had just put on her coverup in the bathroom to see what it looked like wearing makeup.
I was fucking her in her bed from behind, looking at myself fucking her while wearing the makeup. Came in her pussy

>>12144501
Why did you stab the sheets

>>12142280
>the roastie dimension

Nice one, Punchy.

Note how the purported reason of sex, "intimacy" as it were, is deliberately avoided and the true reason is actually estrangement - the crude experience of the Other, either by dominating it or by submitting to it, so as to deliberately hide from the other person and affirm your separation.

>high school class clown
>see a redhead girl wearing a shark sweater in Freshman English
>substitute teacher one day, my friends and I make fun of her an call her shark shirt (turns out being a high school class clown is brain dead easy)
>boomer sub who argued politics with students calls her shark shirt too
>that seems unprofessional
>she's also a total fucking weeb, called herself Misty one day and took Japanese
>she's not in sophomore English
>but she is in world history
>I do extremely well in the class despite making jokes the whole time
>apparently I made her laugh so hard she cried on day
>tfw never got to see that
>she's in junior English
>obvious crush on the teacher
>this makes me mad, I would go through a boom and bust cycle of crushing on her but never talk to her
>start browsing /lit/ and actually reading books just so I can mock high school English assignments better
>she's not that impressed
>senior year
>realize I'm a total fucking loser
>decide to actually talk to this girl after watching Evangelion (yeah I know)
>start talking to her in the hallways after class, changing my routes so I can talk to her more
>she intentionally changes her routes just to see what I'll do
>I also change my routes
>one day I wait two hours outside of school to ask for her phone number (I took early release classes)
>we start texting a lot
>turns out we're both autists who post on 4chan too much
>ask her out
>rejects me
>says she's a slut
>feel so awful I want to vomit
>vomit
>wake up the next morning and get a gym membership
>get drink a liter of eggnog and ride a scooter in my underwear for this guy's weird party competition thing
>she asks me if I want to come over December 27th
>"I'll make fried chicken"
>I like chicken
>get there, she's wearing makeup and looks beautiful, don't remember what she's wearing
>keeps bumping into me
>her dad comes home (an alcoholic)
>we go to the flea market
>I buy a cornflakes shirt
>she plays a busted tekken machine while I watch
>go to McDonald's
>she plays footsie with me
>tells me she's had sex with seven people
>nausea
>"are you ok?"
>irritated, don't like the idea of anyone else fucking her, jealous and ashamed that I'm a virgin while this girl is so far ahead of me
>we leave McDonald's
>as she's driving me back to my car at her house asks if I want to go to the park
>"Yeah I like the woods"
>also touches my crotch five times
>we park in a woody area, she doesn't get out of the car
>I'm confused and have a boner
>on the verge of tears
>asks if there's anything I want
>speechless
>asks if I want her to touch my dick
>...
>...
>...
>oh fuck what I thought she didn't want to fuck me this whole time
>kisses me
>probably shouldn't have gotten onions on my burger
>my cock is out
>now it's in her mouth
>teeth but blowjob
>heart is pounding
>"maybe just the tip"
>awkwardly rides me in a 90s BMW
>don't cum because nerves
>entire body is flush
>date her
>finally cum after 7 months
>still date her

>>12144473
But I used to masturbate to straight porn for up to 6 times a day. It's either that my gf was average or I've completely banished myself out of reality with porn. Probably a mixture of both desu.

Imagine going down on m'lady, only to be faced with a Gorgon-fleshed horror that spits noxious globs of vageta right into your amorous mouth, dooming you to a gruesome sizzling digestion by the viscous goo nibbling microscopically through your jaws, orbital bones, trachea and esophagi, out the other side of your neck and melting through clavicle and your chest, wordlessly convulsing in excruciating electric pain you then expire.

>>12141797
,... i saw, I praised the lord and broke the law, I take whats mine and take some more, it rains, it pours, it rains, it pours

>>12142804
>rnddd
is this "ended"?
how?
>also
oof

It was shit

>college, 2nd year
>meet a cute catholic girl, ask her out
>wavy hair, beautiful voice, thicc thighs
>we move slowly, first date is just cuddling and watching a movie
>eventually escalate, one night we're lying on her bed lying face to face talking and giggling like kids
>start kissing her
>she kisses back, with tongue
>she gets on top of me, we're making out heavy
>she's wearing a thin loose top
>earlier she made a point of telling me that she took her bra off "for comfort"
>suddenly struck with epiphany, realize I could just take her shirt off
>start sliding my hands up her back under her shirt
>she kisses me harder
>I had legitimately never considered that I could be sexual with a woman before, my mind is expanding rapidly
>start groping at each other
>she take off her shorts and my shirt
>I start kissing down her body, moving slowly, enjoying all of her
>still under her (she really liked being on top for some reason) so I'm reaching upward to kiss her, burying my face in her breasts and belly
>eventually eat her out
>she cums
>so tired at this point that I don't even want to continue, just doze off in each other's arms
one of the happiest hours of my life in terms of emotional feeling. Lots of dopamine. But then later:
>find out she was abused by her mother and her high school boyfriend
>never says so but I suspect she was abused by father as well
>she has extreme attachment issues and compulsively lies, start to realize she doesn't trust me
>she eventually breaks up with me over text a few months later
>says "we can still be friends tho"
>tell her no
>anger and confusion and self-loathing for weeks
and now I'm over it and I guess I sort of still love her. I want her to find happiness and I still think she has a lot of good qualities, but I never want to see her or talk to her again.

>>12144787
Sorry to hear that pal. Was the mind expansion worth it?

>>12144803
not sure, but I think that's the wrong question. Growing up I had a dream (that I knew was unrealistic) of meeting the perfect person and marrying her and etc etc and so this felt like a real failure. It took me a long time to realize that there was nothing I could have done right, that it wasn't my fault she left. Paradoxically, once I realized that it was her shortcomings that ruined our chances and not mine, I found it much easier to forgive her.
I've learned a lot about myself and about relationships, but I can't help but feel that this knowledge is only useful in a broken world. In paradise it would be without application. And in paradise I would have come to sexual awareness with her and then stayed with her for the rest of our lives.
so I don't know if it was worth or not, but it happened either way and I can at least make something out of it. I'm currently helping a friend through a similar breakup, and my experience with the situation makes me a better help to them. Also I'll probably be better equipped for the next relationship I find myself in, and maybe eventually I'll know enough to discern and then keep hold of a good wife.

>>12144365
>>12144450
>>12144469
Thanks men, I never really write, this makes me happy.

>be me
>17 homofag
>recently out of the closet
>friend since i was 5 invites me to a party
>one of the girls we went to school was there
>she starts flirting with me
>someone tells her its no good because im gay
>shes fucking astounded and says she doesnt believe it
>this guy tells me to stand up
>he looks at her
>next thing i know hes kissing me
>first homo kiss
>later that night he and i fall asleep together
>hes petting and playing with my ass
>theres like 4 other people sleeping in the room
>im an anxious little bitch and ask to stop because i freak out

i got wanked off though so theres that
that was my first real sexual experience

I remember masturbating to books of fine art as a child. We would dog ear the pages with the sexiest naked ladies on them. I remember the incredible shame I felt when my father told me to stop dogearing the pages...

I did all these gay shenanigans with a friend... I think we did some more gay shit, mutual masturbation maybe even sucking each other off under the covers. Again, we were found out, but nobody seemed to mind. It was bizarre...

she touched my boobs and then we gave each other oral it was nice but i liked just kissing better honestly

>>12143813
reminds me in many ways of an ex gf of mine.
she was absolutely beautiful and funny and into the same scene as me, but when she was a small girl she kept her baby fat and her idiot father would belittle her for eating, so she caught a really horrible eating disorder. So, daddy issues and eating disorder=nutso even though she was brilliant and great, too. Never met her dad but everything she said about him was emotionally abusive\manipulative but I bet he didn't even do it intentionally, he was just that far up his own ass.
anyhow, we clung to each other off and on for years and finally decided we were "it" for each other and started talking marriage seriously despite living apart. this was just really us both settling for comfort and someone who would put up with each other's mental problems.
On a visit, I suddenly realized this and also that she was acting really selfish and always had been and broke it off in a (very uncharacteristic) burst of anger.

Dodged a bullet there, let me tell you.

>>12144276
made me chuckle, thanks anon

>>12143588
sex with someone you love isnt

>be me
>15 almost turning 16
>dad loses job in 2008 recession
>find out I’ll be moving from very upscale California town to middle class city in another state where my dad got hired
>super sad/annoyed. Don’t really understand that my dads just doing this to put food on table
>tell people I’m moving, one girl in particular texts me a ton when she finds out and asks me if I want to hang out sometime
>ends up coming over later that week
>first thing she does is ask me to go some school dance with her
>we end up making out in my room, she tells me I can finger her so I do. She then starts blowing me but I’m way too nervous so after 30-40 minutes I just have her stop since I start feeling bad (I was hard just couldn’t nut)
>we date until I finally move later that year

I’m 18 now and still a virgin so definitely peaked early but I can’t really complain. Just happy I was able to experience being desired by a girl at least once.

>>12145321
I put 2008 recession because I originally was going to fuzz some data since I’m a paranoid bastard but oh well. This happened in 2016.

>>12144604
pics of her pls

>>12141695

> I got a fissure and nearly got pozzed. Would not recommend.

>be me, 15
>spending summer at grandma's with my cousin, a year younger than me
>she's cool, we play PS games, occasionally go hiking, etc.
>sleep in the same room
>we usually don't feel like sleeping so we just talk all night
>one night she starts asking me about my sex life
>casual conversation turns into a long session of oral sex and me cumming in her mouth
>she kept sucking me off every night for the next month we spent there
>finger and lick her in return
>occasionally bath together doing the same
What's funny is that we never actually kissed
I also remember trying to force my cock down her throat one night and her getting slightly mad at me

>>12144604
d'aww
wholesome af

>>12144787
>and now I'm over it and I guess I sort of still love her. I want her to find happiness and I still think she has a lot of good qualities, but I never want to see her or talk to her again.
>iktfb

I think I've been casually, non-intimately hugged on a handful of occasions. That's the extent of my association with the female sex.

>>12145281
thanks, my friend

>>12144604
>>decide to actually talk to this girl after watching Evangelion (yeah I know)
What exactly do you know? Evangelion is superior to the majority of world prose in its thematic pursuits, I don't even consider it an "anime" in the usual sense.

>>12145467
>What's funny is that we never actually kissed
for women it seems to be a weird threshold to actual love. They suck, fuck and do everything, but sometimes I get the impression they only think they're cheating (if they have an actual bf) or do something related to feelings if they kiss you

Sometimes I feel as if that wonder and uncertainty of your first sexual experiences is something that you'll never feel again as an adult. Everything's all too known, too familiar, all too prosaic.

>>12145628
I believe that is because men are more concerned about physical infidelity while women are more perturbed by emotional infidelity and kissing is more of an act of love then sucking some dude off.

>>12145640
That’s life in general. It’s why we stop playing with toys.

>>12145640
Obviously that's why they hold so much significance, but in a looking back on them dulls the experiences of today. idk, just a thought.

>>12145651
how do you attach significance to a such pointless physical act unless it has some additional effects (e.g. getting a girl pregant)
not being mean, just curious

>>12144506
Idk. I was drunk and would do it while we were benevolently arguing / at random

>>12145640
I dont know because I'll never experience my first sexual moment

>>12145677
Can't miss what you never had.

>>12145682
I beg to differ anon.

>>12145677
Why do you feel the need to post this? Do you want pity? That's something you can change

>>12145682
You can.
I envy things people take very much for granted, to know I will never experience something the overwhelming majority of people will is very dehumanizing and makes me sad.
Not that anyone else is to blame though, I hold myself accountable for it.

>>12144501
how is that your first experience?

>>12145688
not him, but why would anyone change that
being a virgin is objectively superior
there are no upsides to sex unless you are using it for purely utilitarian purposes and downsides are plentiful

>>12144604
>dating a woman who has slept with anybody else
Cuck.

>>12142658
Why do you hate him? He actually seems pretty decent

>>12145664
If you can't see the significance of having sex to the development of a boy into a man I don't know what to tell you. There's significance to every moment of discovery, of exploration. In a sexual way even more so I'd say.

>>12145690
Envy is different than longing. You most likely feel that way because of the mechanism of mimetic desire. You desire what everyone else desire. Free of the expectations of the Other, in your solitude you wouldn't desire sex.
You can realize that and retreat as much as you can from this desire, or you can continue to struggle until the end. Only you can decide that, but at the same time, most of us would be too ignorant of our own power or powerlessness to actually commit to any such decision.

>>12145694
>being a virgin is objectively superior
absolutely seething

sex, with someone you love, is a moment of absolute connection to another. With someone you don't, like in a hookup, it's an intoxicating expression of power, it's a mark of your abilities as a man.

>>12143416
I got asked once and I asked her if it was a trick question, then autisticly clammed up and scuttled away

>>12145708
>significance of having sex to the development of a boy into a man
people mentally and physically develop the same way regardless of their sexual activity, its simple biology
>There's significance to every moment of discovery
so is for example, climbing a mountain or earning a million dollars, but these are still not things to dwell on in such a manner
>In a sexual way even more so I'd say
everything we do is permeated with sexuality
well not literally everything, but you get my point

>>12145694
>this cope

>>12145725
>sex, with someone you love, is a moment of absolute connection to another
i wish i could relate but ive never connected love to anything physical so i find it hard to follow your line of thought even if i can understand it within context
>it's a mark of your abilities as a man
our understandings of the conception of manliness radically differ then

>>12145738
it is a genuine question because im genuinely curious, not trying to start some weird incel smalltalk

>>12145733
the only answer that can be given to you is that you have to experience it to know why it is significant for one's development. it's a necessary part of being a whole person both biologically and psychologically

My girlfriend of three years and I used to have sex multiple times a day nearly every day for almost all of that time, excluding the first 5 months that we were together.

We broke up a year ago and I haven't had any sexual encounters since. I honestly don't believe that I ever had sex. I don't remember what it feels like and it feels totally alien and surreal to me, like all of those experiences were just a mindless dream state in which I achieved no consciousness whatsoever. I cannot imagine ever having sex again.

>Be me, 16 years old muscular, a jock
>Autistic fat girl my highschool buddies steal alcohol from cozies up to me
>I fuck her
>pretend to be edgy later on and start a rock band that everybody loves
>kill myself and become a saint
>Yet everyone looks over the fact I molested an autistic fat chick

>>12145748
>why it is significant for one's development
its objectively not tho, regardless of experience
its, as i said, simple high school biology
>it's a necessary part of being a whole person both biologically and psychologically
again, no it is not, not only in a biological sense, but im fairly certain you wouldn't be able to hold this thought to scrutiny even in a philosophical debate

>>12145688
I know, im not blaming anyone else, I've come to accept it will never work out and since im planning on going to the great beyond next month I think I'll die a virgin.
Whatever, life sucks in many ways and this is just my own way.
>>12145724
Im probably going to hang myself soon either way so to be honest its not on my list of priorities.
Im just pondering over the fact that there are entire parts of common life I've never explored and never will.
Kinda like how I thought about all the streets ive drove past for the last eight years but never walked down one.

>>12145752
I felt the same way after my first gf and I broke up after 3 years. We both took each other’s virginity. I’ve had sex since but it just feels like going through the motions. Like I’m fucking a really nice hole and nothing more. I’d give anything to make actual love again.

>>12145760
I won't try to convince you that you shouldn't kill yourself because autonomy over one's own life and death is most important you could have.

But I think you should reject notions of common life. You are clinging to ideas and a morality that is actively harmful to you, to a degree you don't need to. You can never end despair but doing away with what are essentially social conditioning programs embedded into our minds will make it much easier to bear.

>>12145758
>its, as i said, simple high school biology
do you really think the human development is restricted to obvious physical aspects? there are many factors, some more subtle then others, that make us to the individuals that we are and that determine if we feel as a whole being or if we have psychological or other health issues. Not having a mother or father are other examples. Not having sex is another big example. Why do you think people between 16 and 40 think about sex a lot of their time? just face it, the experience of sex is not optional. it's part of a complete life like nutrition and sleep

>>12145789
Im not thinking about it extensively, its just the fact I know my death is approaching so im getting a retrospective on what I did right and what I did wrong in my life.
Thank you for talking with me though anon, it is nice to have a conversation about these ideas with people, even if it is on an anonymous internet message forum.

>>12145797
>do you really think the human development is restricted to obvious physical aspects
its not, but psychology confirms the same as well
and you would be hard pressed to find a philosophical school with your stance
>there are many factors, some more subtle then others, that make us to the individuals that we are and that determine if we feel as a whole being or if we have psychological or other health issues
which relate to the perception of our state and not its objective reality, although it can influence that perception, however even so - only withing wider context
>Not having a mother or father are other examples
except researches confirm that not having a mother or a father is a significant thing, while not having sexual experience is not
>Not having sex is another big example
only in your subjective attitude formed largely by sexualized nature of the late post modern society
>Why do you think people between 16 and 40 think about sex a lot of their time?
hormones
any other aspect is at best indirectly tied to sex
>it's part of a complete life like nutrition and sleep
no its not, its objectively, scientifically, self-evidently not
>just face it
i dont find myself hard-pressed to face your conformist, subjective attitudes

>>12145777
Nobody "takes" your "virginity" if you're male.

>>12145760
I’m making major assumptions here but hear me out anyway. First, don’t kill yourself. Second, I think you need to re-evaluate your life and get your shit together. You sound horribly depressed which, barring a chemical imbalance, is totally reversible. If you’re fat, lose weight. If you’re broke, get a job. If you have bad hygiene, start caring for yourself. If you use drugs/alcohol, stop. Before you know it, opportunities for a better life will present themselves to you, including sex and relationships. Excuse my directness, I don’t mean to offend, but I find that most incels who whine about what they are missing out on don’t actually put forth in effort worth rewarding. If you don’t care about yourself, then nobody is going to care about you either. That’s why whenever I see these neckbeards making what they call “an attempt” at picking up women and are embarrassingly shamed, it angers me. Because it wasn’t a real attempt. You can’t say you tried when your hygiene sucks, or you don’t care for your body, or your broke with no job. That’s not an attempt at anything. That’s flesh and bone slowly rotting away. If you set yourself up for failure, you are obviously going to be disappointed every fucking time. Again, don’t kill yourself, reinvent yourself. Be the best version of you and you’ll always win.

>>12141797
How about "I saw, I came and I apologized"

>>12145822
Well I gave it to her.

>>12145820
>that not having a mother or a father is a significant thing, while not having sexual experience is not
so you're saying that the separation between mind and body is bullshit (as I said) with the example of sexuality because some study you read said so?
you oversimplifying the human as an entity. Mind and body are connected with each other and you can't draw a line were one starts and the other ends. Everytime we interfere with that system it's going to have side effects.

I mean, if you're depriving yourself from sexuality willingly and you're happy, I think it's fine and I actually congratulate you for your asketic life. I only hope that you don't compensate your lack of sexual experience with these pseudo scientific observations. I for myself couldn't imagine a life without connecting sexually with other human beings

>>12145777
Yes, that was my experience to, regarding the mutual loss of virginity.

>>12144276
Best post in this thread

>>12142165
>>12142169
kudos

>>12145828
Im not a lazy neckbeard, its just a fundamental issue in my brains operation. I have always felt sad and lonely.
I have a "normal" life and I hate incels incessant whining as much as other people do, I dont have a grudge against anyone for myself being a virgin.
Im just tired of my perpetual sadness and as such I want to leave.
Ive made sure my family is happy and I have everything in place (will and letters for mother, dad and brother)
I only hope they understand why I did it and if they dont, wether they can forgive me.
Again, thank you for talking to me anon and I appreciate your advice.
I hope you stay happy.

>>12145811
I hate make sweeping assumptions, specially with people I don't know. Maybe you are not beyond saving, maybe you are, it's not for me to say. And I hate peddling hope. I do believe almost everyone can be helped, to get even if it's just inch, out of systems and environments and mental states that have been designed from the start to crush them. And that one inch could make all the difference eventually. But I don't know your despair. I know I still struggle with the idea of suicide constantly despite not going through my attempt 6 years ago.

The pleasure is mine. Whatever you do, I hope you find some peace.

>>12145865
Instead of killing yourself, why not sell off all of your possessions and go wander around some distant continent? It’s more forgivable and less selfish to your loved ones. Suicide just seems lazy to me. Even if you die on the road, wouldn’t that have been the same outcome? At least in extensive travel at least you have the chance of finding a purpose and enlightenment. Or maybe even just some fleeting highs and experiences along the way.

>>12145869
Its alright, I've come to peace with myself and in a way its very liberating.
You sound like a nice person anon, so I hope you can find some peace as well.

>>12141695
It's the 2018 world cup in Southeast London, I'm in my parent's house with 2 girls, a long-time friend from school, let's call her J (I'm in 6th Form so inb4 underage), and a friend of a friend from outside school, who I've been fantasising about for several months, let's call her A. She's half Jamaican, though mostly light-skinned, very thick with great tits and ass, thighs, etc. We're sitting watching TV while drinking cheap yet stolen vodka, with a whole liver failure of drinks yet to be opened in J's bag, when she starts acting weird (-er than normal considering the kind of state we're in). A and I discover that without our knowledge, she's somehow taken the ecstasy I earlier sold her. (A considerable blunder on my part considering her history with drugs). I start to panic, as some of you may know, ecstasy and alcohol is not a good mix. I start worrying she's gonna die in my house, I'll have to explain to a bunch of cops where she got the stuff, etc. Me and A gather J and the rest of the booze up, and sneak out into the evening. It's dark already and the streets are poorly lit, England is playing Croatia in every pub in the country, and countless drunkards are staggering and chanting down the streets. Me and A's half-boiled plan is to get J to a park, as somehow, for regular drunks and druggies, the womb-like safety of nature seemed ideal in this situation. Somehow on the way, J manages to attract some sort of tracksuit-clad 'road person', whom she clings to like a barnacle and refuses to let go of, despite his clearly questionable nature. However, he seems content to join the voyage to the park, and at this point, me and A decide to open a bottle of wine to ease the stress of chaperoning the duo, both of us agreeing that "she'll blame us for this in the morning". We get to the park, where J and her man of the night adjourn to a bench, and start in on things A and I would rather ignore. We sit on a grassy patch, and break out the beers, having finished the wine. We're lying there, and, slightly heavy-handed, I ask, "do you wanna kiss?". I forget what her answer was, but within a minute, we're kissing, and considering our drunken state, this goes on for a while, at least an hour, her straddling me in jean shorts, both of us tasting like beer. At some point J and her companion leave, and me and A finish the beers and walk to my other house (divorced parents), kissing and groping all the way. We lay in bed for several hours, until the quite early morning, making out, giving each other hickeys, I spanked and was quite rough with her, which she was into. She also had no gag reflex, and liked when I would stick my fingers down her throat. We went to sleep eventually, and she had to go home late the next morning. We made out a bit more before she left, right until she walked out the door. I had huge bite and tongue marks on my neck, which I cherished for several days. It never led to anything else, we didn't text and left it there.

>>12145883
I dont have aspirations for that stuff because that is a part of my life I've been content with.
Im aware its a selfish action and I feel like im betraying my family but as I said, if they cannot forgive me I only hope they get closure on why I did it (and vice versa).

Remember when normalfags didn't take over 4chan? Remember when it was browsed by actual virgins who were virgins because of their immense ugliness which also induced their pursue of certain hobbies related to the board they visit (literature, video games etc)?
Remember when seeing stories like >>12143902 were seen as bait or fiction?
Because I do. You can accuse me of being a normalfag, but I know the truth, as do the people who have been here since a long time ago. Sincerely, fuck all of you normalfags.

>>12145921
I was a virgin when I first posted here 11 years ago.

>>12145850
>so you're saying that the separation between mind and body is bullshit (as I said) with the example of sexuality because some study you read said so?
im saying that with science and facts claiming results different from what you are claiming you can only resort to speculation
>Mind and body are connected with each other and you can't draw a line were one starts and the other ends
i dont recall trying that
>Everytime we interfere with that system it's going to have side effects.
i fail to see how this statement changes what i said

>I mean, if you're depriving yourself from sexuality willingly and you're happy
oofffff, where do i even start with this..
happiness is very complex, you cannot bring it down to that level of simplicity
it is also very relative and attitudes regarding sexuality, someones upbringing, social position etc. etc. all change it regarding that aspect - it is as i said, not something you can just take to be a net positive in every case, on the contrary facts, as opposed to someone's subjective attitudes we cannot know and which are heavily influence by hormones which often go agaisnt someones well being, say it is a net negative (forgive this crude expression)
whether someone is depriving himself is irrelevant within this contex

>I actually congratulate you for your asketic life
i am not an ascetic, perhpas an excentric, someone can be, since that is usually connected to abstinence from sexuality in this oversexualized zeitgeist, but doesnt have to be
>I only hope that you don't compensate your lack of sexual experience with these pseudo scientific observations
my statements are fully backed by science and i would dare say rationality as opposed to your subjective opinions
my feelings about sex life, frustrations, experiences and such are not relevant and you trying to inject neccessity of experience into everything is frankly starting to annoy me
>I for myself couldn't imagine a life without connecting sexually with other human beings
perhaps your subjective opinions are not fit to be a universal standard?

>>12145921
/thread

>>12145883
you seem like you are trying to tell to someone who doesnt find joy in doing ordinary things to do them better

>>12145905
I just feel like it’s giving up, my friend. You should probably stop responding to me because I’ll always try to convince you not to do it. There’s so much more you can do with your life than make it end. I just wish you could see that instead of letting the sadness overtake you and claim your life, you could figure out how to overtake it and regain control. I feel sorry for you because life really is the most precious thing we have and there probably isn’t anything waiting for us at the end, and that you’ve convinced yourself it’s a rational decision to end it when really it’s the end result of great emotional pain to which you’ve grown numb. There’s always a fix, but the struggle varies in magnitude. In a timeline where you realize this, I think your future self would be infinitely grateful you decided not to go down that path, instead opting to take the one that saves you.

>>12145897
>She also had no gag reflex, and liked when I would stick my fingers down her throat.
Y u no get the succ????

>>12145921
>as do the people who have been here since a long time ago

They've killed themselves, moved to edgier chans or became failed normies. This place is now a joke.

>>12145921
Sekrit klub

>>12144073
This was cool until you became a jap. Kudos for standing up to thots at least

>>12145952
Then don’t do ordinary things. Suicide is an irreversible solution to relatively short-term problems. I will never advocate it except in those suffering from chronic untreatable pain.

>>12145957
Believe me I tried, but she either wasn't into it or was too drunk, and there's only so much pressure you can apply before it becomes creepy

>>12145855
Thanks, brother.

>>12142190
The on part I believe of this is that you're still friends.

>>12145982
im opposed to suicide probably more than you are
what im trying to say is that when you say things like "get better at life, self improve" you sound kinda like a dick (at least to me) because you are saying it to someone who doesnt find this paradigm viable

>>12145982
>Suicide is an irreversible solution to relatively short-term problems

Overpopulation is a long-term problem. I firmly support suicide. Lethal doses of barbituates should be available over the counter with no waiting.

>>12145956
I do genuinely appreciate your advice.
But this is the most control I've felt over my life in many years and I actually feel happy for once because I know soon all this shit wont matter.
Some people are weak and some are strong, I tried hard to fight but I can't do it anymore.
Ill stop responding now because I feel like im shitting up the thread and ive already taken up to much time, but if you do read this, thanks again.

>>12145921
I was a virgin when I started here.

People grow up, and the pains of adolescence fade away into a more stable and accomplished adulthood.

>>12143849
Kek

>>12146009
>the pains of adolescence fade away into a more stable and accomplished adulthood
i wish

>>12143849
the first half made me want to read Lolita again
damn

>>12146004
Overpopulation is not a thing

>>12146042
Birth rate: 360,000 per day
Death rate: 150,000 per day
I beg to fucking differ, anon

>>12146003
Just because they don’t believe it viable doesn’t mean it isn’t viable. Their judgment isn’t exactly the best considering they are contemplating suicide. As someone who has walked that line once and was massively depressed, I know how good I was at convincing myself that it was the logical solution and that everything else I was being spoonfed was hippie hopeful bullshit. Maybe I sound like a dick, it’s not intentional, I just don’t want to see more people waste the best thing they were ever given because they are going through a depressed state, which is largely reversible. I also think it’s noteworthy that this conversation started because someone felt compelled to mention it in a thread about sexual experiences because they believe it is a major life moment in which they’ll never get to take part. Maybe others value it more, but if presented with the option of no sex ever or death, I’m taking the first. And the fact of the matter is, doing those basic things I mentioned that aren’t considered viable, is how you break the cycle and start moving forward so you can ultimately achieve what you were going to kill yourself over. I’m not a dick, I just love my fellow man enough to be passionate about seeing them live fulfilling LONG lives.

>>12146004
>let civilized first worlders kill themselves while third worlders exponentially increase

>>12146008
You at least owe your family a face to face explanation.

>>12146072
>it isn’t viable
see what you are saying here is that everyone sould be "normal"
if you dont like being "normal" you should just force yourself to conform

never had one because I wasted my youth reading and playing music

>>12146086
It’s not that everyone should conform, its that everyone should be content with being alive. The opposite is abnormal, yes. Being suicidally depressed is not normal, and following through with it is certainly not the way to address it. The solutions I offer are anecdotal, but worked for me. Either way I don’t believe anybody should be content with letting it end without exhausting every effort to fix what’s broken.

>>12146124
i dont think you understood one inch of what i was saying but nvm

>>12146076
I'm a 31 year old NEET with not one achievement in life. I'm mentally ill and unable to work. If I were given a magic pill to end it all I'd take it immediately. I produce nothing for society

>>12146125
Maybe not. Elaborate.

>>12146128
They make that pill, it’s called a bullet. You use the delivery system to eject it into the back of your throat. Or you know, you could try to get treatment for your illness and, if you’re truly unable to work, produce art in some form or volunteer, or start a charity, or an internet business, etc etc.

>>12146129
forget about suicide, its not my point
what i was trying to say is that if someone doesnt like life, cant live it and doesnt find satisfaction in it saying - just do more of these things you hate but better sounds shitty

>>12143813
I like the way you write. Also emotionally unstable lse/hsd girls are my favourites. Better when they are from upper class families.
My absolute favourites are US American Jewish girls. Unironically. They are such kinky, horny, messed up sluts. And I'm not even right-wing.
t.German

>28khv
>Never even tried to get sex
>Had about 20 or offers over the years
>Never been interested

Been to the doctors a few times and my T-levels are a bit above average, don't really know how to feel about this since I want a companion, i'm just broken.

>>12146076
I knew someone would say this. Africa and South America's population will plummet as soon as the 1st world stops subsidizing them. Ideally they would be painlessly genocided with some sort of mass sterility virus, but that's kind of impossible to put a PC spin on.

>>12146177
>I want a companion

Lel just get on tindr bro

For real tho, you're looking for something that no longer exists in any statistically measurable degree

>>12146144
I understand now, but I don’t believe that’s a permanent state of being. It’s still depression which is reversible. Unless you were born chemically imbalanced or developed a chemical imbalance and need actual meds, there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy life again. And for the record, I don’t necessarily enjoy clipping my toenails, or paying to have my hair cut, buying deodorant, going to work, paying my bills, etc. but when I have my shit together I’m not miserable when I do them either and I have an elated feeling when I’m not doing them and I get to relax or spend time with my friends and family. But it comes down to those things and yes doing them better than you were doing them before. It’s no wonder a major part of why I’m no longer depressed is I got a much much better job making a lot more money. And that came after I stopped drinking everyday, lost a ton of weight, made myself presentable, and put myself out there over and over again. It’s not like I celebrate every time I clean my asshole. But at least when I do I can live with the satisfaction that I’m not sitting on a dirty smelly itching ass.

>>12146201
you didnt understand a single thing i wrote again
but nvm, i dont expect that

>>12146188
Not sure how to get a woman when I don't care about sex, maybe I would care if I got a woman or something but...

It's weird just not feeling the urge at all, at least if I had low T or something I could fix it. I just feel I'm missing out on something.

>>12145921
This literally isn't 4chan anymore.

>>12146203
Then you fail at communicating because I think I answered you appropriately three times over. Write your own rebuttal.

>>12141695
>summer 2008
>invite a girl to my best friend's 18th birthday party
>friend's parents have a pretty nice woodland estate with a pond and a clear area for tents
>pretty big party, like 50+ people including some of friend's extended family
>starts getting late, friend's family all leave
>everyone is outside, it's raining a bit but we have a fire going
>don't even remember interacting with this girl i invited all day
>a bunch of us are standing around the fire, all absolutely hammered drunk
>girl i invited ends up next to me
>don't remember at all what happened but we make eye contact and start making out
>go into a tent
>she rips my pants off and starts sucking my dick
>i'm actually kind of disappointed and bored because ihavenoideawhatimdoing.jpg
>tell her i want to fuck her
>she takes her pants off and climbs on top of me
>i'm still bored
>dunno if she orgasmed (don't think she did) but i definitely didn't
>we go back outside, she is bragging about fucking me to the whole party
>drunk people all congratulating us
>contemplate suicide because if this is "making it" then life has to be pointless
>don't bother trying to have sex again for years

>>12145921
If it makes you feel any better this post is from a middle aged man trying to get underage b&s to post stories about teenage sex. If that's not 4chan then I don't know what is.

>>12146232
you answered the same thing i complained about three times every time the same
maybe im jsut bad at speaking so ill just give up and leave

>>12145921
What's 4chan? This is 4channel son.

>>12146248
I’ll go back to your original post
>>12145952
Yes I am telling them to do that because, more often than not, it’s the actual solution. hating those things to that extent isn’t healthy.

>>12145467

khhv checking in

>>12146235
You were drunk and had sex with someone you barely knew, what did you expect?

>>12146463
i dunno; people ask this question any time i post about a sexual encounter i've had

>>12143377
>while Fake Plastic Trees plays in the background
the worst part of this story somehow

>>12146610
I like radiohead but having sex to the bends sounds terrible

>>12144787
>>12145551

>>12145921
remember when 4chan wasn't about fucking screaming and crying about not having a girlfriend in between extended schizzy white nationalist propaganda sessions because boy fucking howdy do i sure miss that

>>12144787
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

>>12144787
>liked being on top for some reason
>was abused/bad relationship with dad
they tend to either want to be choked and jackhammered or cuddled and allowed to be on top if daddy was a faggot towards them.

>>12145921
Yeah, it was at the start of 2010s after said fat virgins invaded the site driving away middle-class SA shitposters who didn't give a shit about muh girlfriend and were having actual fun with raids and cheese pizza. Fuck off newfag.

>>12141756
AaaaaaAAAAHHHAHAHAHAAA!!!!
I don't think I've ever heard a joke made from Ernest Hemingway's shortest story ever told.
Hat's off to you sir!

met a girl off 4chan popped some xannies for anxiess took her out to an isolated spot no stiffy chomped some viagees and cherry popped and slopped her sin chute made her my GANK whore now we luv fuckin on the reg she preggin now she DUFFD now we gotta wee 1 on the way and I'm ready to ROPE fuck sexxxx porn best

It was a happy story that became a sad story and I am extremely pissed off that modern society misled she and I so much. All things collapsed, I left a wonderful and extremely good woman I could perchance have married and went after some good humored broad with a round ass who was almost astinishingly aware of her own sexual radiance but with whom I later found it impossible to love and who robbed me of the vast hopefulness of a virgin, even as I did the same to her.

By now I could have had a few children with the other and instead Im a depressed loner.

>>12147732
If you abandoned your virginal loved one for a harlot, you have naught but yourself to blame.

>>12147752
She wasnt a harlot, she just had the same stupid impressions about sex and love that I had. The other girl knew better and was taught better.

>>12147761
So then you're the manwhore for cheating on your loved one.

>>12145921
That's my post you linked to. It's 100% true. If /lit/ was in some antediluvian past some place of retards and rejects well that's fine but you've grown older now and should be able to handle a little story from a normalfag.

>>12147763
Well i was certainly very flattered to have two women desiring me when I was 18, but Ive had zero since. I lost hard.

>>12147784
You quite deserve it.

I feel a strong compulsion to vent the fact that I positively miss the smell of vagina, friends. I imagine the smell hourly.

>>12147798
have you considered tinder. i'm sure some girl would up for having a freak worship her stinkhole.

>>12147786
Honest to God I was a kid and did not know any better. I thought that since I "broke up" with one (who was religuous and chaste) that I was perfectly allowed to pursue the other. The first girl was so "prude" i never scarceky dreamed of touching her. We had to "hang out" with her sister or brother, scarcely could be alone.

Of course it blew my mind beyond all reason when I could touch the others breasts under her shirt and over her bra, without a word or gesture of warning. And when I grabbed her naked ass for the first time she said "that... is my butt." And we laughed and frolicked and everything seemed alright and okay.

I knew what my friends did, what I saw on TV, what I read online. I had no idea how destructice sex could be, how it could ruin people.

>>12142165
>>12142169

This gave me feels. Have a hug anon.

>>12142165
>>12142169

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21exnGWN-uI

>>12145019
>he was born after 9/11
jesus christ.

congrats on the sex anon.

>>12141701
nice

>>12144501
agp agp agp

>>12141695
what the fuck

>>12144276
10/10

i go to pick up my girlfriend because myparents aren't home this is the day she is going to sex me itake her to my roomand we make out i succ on he nips and she pulls off my pants gives me weenie a sukkk then i tried every sex i gad heard about oh ger i drop her off and feel despair

>>12141701
noice

>>12144688
I was phone posting.

>>12145669
You're a fucking psycho bruh

>>12141695
Is this from redddit?

>>12147763
>>12147804
>tfw that could have been me in a recent situation
This is an extremely terrifying thought to end the night on

got raped by a girl while very drunk

>>12152336
details please

>>12152353
nearly drank myself to death, girl dragged me home, made me penetrate and eat her out

>>12141695
>put on berserk
>girl says it is boring
>sex (she came a few times, my dick hurt so I did not cum)
>look at penis when I go to the bathroom and it was bleeding (I wore a condom so it wasn’t from her)
>sleeptime

>a girl approaches me
>I also like her
>she says she wants to kiss me
>i kiss her
>then next day we go out together and i touch her nipples
>3 days after that she comes to my apartment
plot twist:
>she tries to put my penis inside her vagina but i refuse because i'm antinatalist and thus antisex

>>12152615
why haven't you chopped off your penis yet

>>12152620
Because it would hurt and I'm only an antinatalist, not a masochist.
Not that I haven't thought about going in front of a hospital and chopping my testacles of because I'm too poor to effort vasectomy.