/lit/ - Literature

I unironically recommend anime.

You’re The Last Psychiatrist’s textbook narcissist. I recommend Kafka’s The Judgment, it’s a ten-page short story so you have no excuse not to read it.

>>12096412
I already watch anime. I think most of it is garbage though and that literature has much much more to offer so I mostly stick to reading. I like a lot of the older stuff though like 80s mwcha, leiji matsumoto stuff, slayers, and all that fun stuff. I do like k-on though so there's that.

>>12096460
mecha*
>>12096440
thanks

>>12096460
stop watching anime, get off this website and find a passion, and then a job.

>>12096393
oblomov

>>12096605
I already have a job where I barely do anything

>>12096605
also don't tell me what to do. I asked for books not advice.

>>12096440
Other anon. Just read what you recommended. Why did you recommend this story to the OP? How does it correlate with his situation?

>>12096393

>>12098179
>welcome to the NHK
Trash list.

>>12098255
It's a chart for whiny manchildren that aren't going to actually read any of the books anyway

>>12096393
I don’t want to validate this part of myself by affirming what you’ve said so I’ll sage this thread but offer a covert show of solidarity with my (you)

>>12096393
same desu

>>12096781
The MC is a narcissist. Kafka beats you over the head with it. Everything revolves around him. He’s punished with death by drowning—drowning, because that’s exactly Narcissus’ punishment.

>>12096440
>The Last Psychiatrist

criiiiiiiiiinge yikes yikes yikes yikes! yikes! oof, and one more yikes. that's it for me fellas. hard pass on this one.

>>12096393
Literally Un homme qui dort ["A Man Asleep"] by Perec. It will blow you away.

Welcome to the schizoid personality disorder club! Leave me alone.

>>12096393
unironically try psychadellics

>>12098457
I'm not sure if introversion coupled with misanthropy counts as schizoid personality disorder.

>>12098670
A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by at least four of the following:[5]

Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family.
Almost always chooses solitary activities.
Has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person.
Takes pleasure in few, if any, activities.
Lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives.
Appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others.
Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

>>12096605
>dude, just like, find a passion.
I despise you people

>>12098682
3 solids with 2 kindas
Should I worry?

>>12098682
>all me

>>12098682
literally me

Bump

>>12098687
He is right though.

>>12096440
I literally don't understand why the OP would be a narcissist. Sound more like a typical anti-social person with existential problems

>>12098786
being schizoid is nothing to worry about. just lie back and dream your life away, there is nothing worth pursuing anyway. it's a very comfy lifestyle

t. diagnosed schizoid

>>12096634
Get a more challenging job, then. My word, you sound insufferable.

>>12096393
the stranger

Go write graffiti. Seriously.

>>12098682
me, all of it

>>12100570
i don't want a more challenging job are you retarded. I like getting paid to shitpost and read lit.

>>12096393
À rebours

>>12096440
TLP is pretty great, the type of people who leave comments on his articles and adore him unthinkingly ... ehh, not so much. I’ve read and enjoyed a lot of TLP, you seem a bit trigger-happy with the accusation of narcissism from just a few lines of greentext. That’s probably because you’re TLP’s textbook narcissist.

>>12098332
No.

You can’t read.

>>12098682
This is basically neurotypical normies pathologizing anyone slightly different who doesn’t buy into the social game. A lot of great artists, scientists, and thinkers in general throughout history would qualify as schizoid according to this.

>>12100512
Better put as existential problems combined with anti-social tendencies

>>12100570
>My word, you sound insufferable.
Shut the fuck up, woman.

‘A Man Asleep, by Perec desu

>>12100730
>>12100576
>>12098440
ive read these already and love them both. should i read life: a user's manual by him? is it any good?
>>12096621
>>12100639
been meaning to read these. thanks.

keep the book reca coming

>>12096393
a sleeping man by Perec is what you're looking for

>>12098682
I’m not a schizoid because I have two or three friends who I enjoy talking to and am not emotionally cold towards, and I have an interest in having sexual experiences. Every other trait describes me perfectly though. What does that make me?

>>12100754
>What does that make me?
a faggot

>>12100685
I don't think so. There is a real set of character traits for it. I'm not of the opinion thats its necessarily a bad thing. It definitely is a serious problem in many ways, the constant withdraw into fantasy makes getting anything done very hard. The lack of emotional connection to other people is torturous to me, I'm even emoitionally impotent. I've had alot of success using psychedelics to get there. I have a date tonight that I am dreading but hopefully it goes well, I'll be taking alittle LSD. Luckly I take pleasure in many activities.
There are many "secret schizoids" that are almost indistinguishable from the normal population. It's a real thing and I think it warrants a systematic catagory.
Of course you can have all those symptoms and still be functional enough to be a schizoid without it being a personality disorder. It's a real mental health problem and it sucks. There are many perks to the eccentricities and lifestyle of a schizoid.

>>12100771
What does it mean to be emotionally impotent? Do you not feel emotions like regular people, or do you just have difficulty expressing them? I have strong emotions but have a hard time expressing them.

go to the gym, find a girl, make babies, get some responsibility. you sound like a whiny loser piece of shit that needs some responsibility in life.

>>12100791
I already work out and I can throw you over my head
>responsibility
a glittery word that sad dads and boomers like to throw around to make themselves feel special

honestly get out of my thread if you are going to keep try to judge me. I asked for books not your "advice."

>>12100784
It means I can't cum during sex because the regular emotions associated with sexual connection just aren't there. This is despite me being a massive pervert that is skilled at seduction.
It feels so bad.

>>12100653

The bad part is having to cite TLP to make the call of narcissism.

OP says verbatim:

>tfw live more in dreams than in reality.

That's a pretty big giveaway but yes, we'd need more information to be sure.

>>12100812
Schizoid PD is the apt diagnoses. Narcissistic withdraw is a big part of schizoid, and OP literally listed most of the dsm-5 criteria for it.

>OP asks for books
>anons try to diagnose him

>>12098682
You forgot to add
>There is evidence indicating the disorder may be the start of schizophrenia, or just a very mild form of it.

>>12100836
Pretty scary. I used to smoke weed all day everyday which made my condition 1000% worse, but didn't result in psychosis so I think I'm probably safe. I've also done big boy psychonuatics and it helped me out alot and actually brought me closer to reality, that's how I became aware of my condition before I figured out what it was.
So I think I'm probably safe but can't speak for anyone else. Definitely one of my biggest fears.

>>12100771
>self medicating with hallucinogenics

>>12100496
In the same sense telling poor people they need to make more money is "Right". It really invokes a "Thanks for the advice dipshit, I never thought about doing that" type of response.

>>12100836
>may be the start of schizophrenia
fuck I hope so, bring schizo and living off gibs while writing your shizo diary would be comfy as fuck desu
also maybe I'd finally get friends, desu I should get a jump on this thing and make a tulpa

>>12101107
My results speak for themselves hater. I did psychedelics for the sole purpose of recreation for years before I even thought about using them for self administered psychotherapy. You need to be very familiar with the substances before you use them for any particular ends. Most of my progress was made before I started using them as a treatment. I aboslutely do not recommend someone to just jump into this.

>>12101125
>long term psychedelic use

you done fucked up, this is why you don't self medicate

>>12096393
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/02/the_action_movie_fairy_tale.html
Read.

>>12101157
Why do you think you are some kind of expert? You are an uniformed asshole that isn't saying anything of value. Shut up.

>>12100771
>It's a real mental health problem
>mental health problems
>real
lol

>>12101178
God I hate this board so much. This is the worst board on 4chan.

>>12101192
Good. We don't cotton to freaks in these parts.

>>12101192
>This is the worst board on 4chan.
Imagine being actually delusional.

>>12101192
Yes, it is

>>12101158
I can relate to this. How do I stop being a narcissist, lads?

>>12101247
read the problem of the puer aeternus

>>12101165
Kinda put a lot of effort into shutting him up instead of rolling your eyes and moving on

>>12101261
I was triggered

>>12096440
I've just read Judgment... and I don't get it.

>>12101192
Mental health problems are, for the most part fabricated or unnecessary to take psychotropics for, at the very least.

Same with the common cold. Do you know what a detriment you are doing to yourself by taking Tylenol. I try to avoid aspirin whenever I can.

Take this pharmaceutical drug pill, anon. The medical industry is preparing us for another plague

>>12101265
it's a shit, don't bother with it

>>12101268
Why do people unaffected by mental illness feel this need to make idiot statements about things they know fuck all about?

>>12101268
>Do you know what a detriment you are doing to yourself by taking Tylenol

Literally none? It is weak for pain relief, but a useful antipyretic. If you said Ibuprofen I could perhaps understand your irrational fear for NSAIDs.

>>12096393
>If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty.

>>12098179
Sorrows isnt r9k

>>12101284
>Why do people unaffected by mental illness feel this need to make idiot statements
Surely, you can't trust statements made by people affected by mental illness. They're literally insane.

>>12101304
According to you, they're not. It's all fabricated, right?

>unironically hate my parents for conceiving me
What do bros?

>>12101300
it literally is proto r9k, infantile, narcissistic, unhealthy obsession with romance etc

>>12101309
go back in time and seduce your mom

>>12096440
Sounds like Schizoid Personality Disorder to me.

>>12101308
That’s not me. Are you going insane?

>>12101313
Hold up, wouldn't going back in time before you existed mean you won't exist? You can't exist if you don't exist right? I'm totally serious, I'm not the brightest one out there.

>>12100808
>the regular emotions associated with sexual connection just aren't there.

There's no such things per se, only the inference of the Other.

>>12101288
Stop it. You and I both know it’s making the human body weaker and the virus stronger. This is how sicknesses work: you have to go through some pain every now and then. And if it’s not impinging on your life, then so be it

>>12101309
the trouble with being born by cioran

>>12101311
Have you read ANYTHING else by Goethe? The r9k reading is the worst one and missing the entire point. It is a cautionary tale to show how embracing romanticism without using yr brain leads to dumb shit like that

>>12101324
I already read everything by Cioran (complete with his commentaries and letters).

>>12101321
well if I survive while taking tylenol doesn't that mean that I'm even stronger afterwards? I handicap myself and buff the virus, just like goku trained with weighted clothing, when tylenol wears off I will be super fast

>>12101309
Be like me and resent them forever for doing that while hating your life and yourself also. Waste time on this shit website and shitty books and drink yourself into oblivion each day, hoping you don't wake up the next morning.
Or kill them.

>>12101330
>It is a cautionary tale to show how embracing romanticism without using yr brain leads to dumb shit like that
That's a retcon by Goethe, not canon

>>12096440
>read TLP
>"this sounds like it was written by a woman"
>mfw it really is

I bet she is all butthurt because she was dumped by a man at some point too

>>12098682
>[...]impairment is mandatory for any behaviour to be diagnosed as a personality disorder. SPD seems to satisfy this criterion because it is linked to negative outcomes. These include a significantly compromised quality of life, reduced overall functioning even after 15 years, and one of the lowest levels of "life success" of all personality disorders (measured as "status, wealth, and successful relationships").[12][13][14]
>Schizoid personality disorder is a poorly studied disorder, and there is little clinical data on SPD because it is rarely encountered in clinical settings. The effectiveness of psychotherapeutic and pharmacological treatments for the disorder have yet to be empirically and systematically investigated.[7]
>Suicide may also be a running theme for schizoid individuals, though they are not likely to actually attempt one. They might be down and depressed when all possible connections have been cut off, but as long as there is some relationship or even hope for one the risk will be low.
Great, so I'll likely just be stuck like this for decades without a way out.

>>12101192
Do you know that there's absolutely no way to confirm a diagnosis of say, schizophrenia? That is because it doesn't present with any physical changes that we can detect. It is entirely based on symptomatic behavior rather than physiology. Do you really believe it is then appropriate to refer to it as a "disease"?

>>12101317
Technically all your atoms would exist in the past, they just wouldn't be combined into a (You). Since a (You) from this moment is different than the (You) from 5 minutes ago, if you're being that pedantic it would mean that (You) didn't exist 5 minutes ago. Meaning, if you can go back to the past at all, your argument doesn't work.

>>12101342
Stop drinking alcohol.

>>12101352
It's a guy. He got doxxed not long ago. Damn shame too, since I was looking forward to reading the porn book he was writing.

>>12101370
OK but if my atoms existed 2 thousand years ago why didn't I exist then? I don't want to be rude but could you draw it? Like the process, I can't visualise it in my head.

>>12098682
My current therapist thinks I might have it but I think he's retarded. I want to fuck but nobody wants to fuck me. I want friends but nobody wants to be my friend and those that do are boring normies, etc.
Its not that I chose that life it's that others chose that life for me.

>>12101353
BASED SCHIZOID

>>12100812
How is living in dreams an indication of narcissism?

>>12101346
you're a retcon

>>12101380
The atoms that form you were separated and forming other things. Matter cannot be created or destroyed is one of the fundamental laws of physics. Have you never heard that feel good platitude that all of us are star dust? It's technically true.

>>12101319
>There is no such thing
Your brain is literally flooded with oxytocin and literally everyone who is in love or lust will attest to these feelings. Those feelings are retarded by my aversion/fear of emotional connection.

>>12101380
>2 thousand years ago:
stx(U ioy)e.
>now:
(You) exist.

>>12101382
>in 10 years I will probably be even less happy with my life

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

>>12101158
>TLP actually thought nihilism/post-modernism/the death of god would be undone following 9/11
It's cute to think how naive we used to be, I have to remind myself how old these blog posts are.

>>12101382
Does that mean my shitty life is just going to get worse until I make it to 50? I won't even live that long. Fuck that

>>12101391
>>12101399
I'm not baiting you but I honestly don't get it. So if I went back in time my body would be in tact, what about consciousness? It didn't exist before.

>>12101264
and now you have learned

>>12101409
He has a "mental illness" be considerate

>>12101408
Your body would not be in tact, your body is made of parts, atomic particles, the parts existed back then too before they came together to form your body, they were instead parts of millions of other things, other bodies.

>>12101426
Okay so time travel is impossible?

>>12101429
you're traveling in time right now

>>12101385
I don't get it either. If you are consistently escaping into dreams -almost living alternate lives- it might just aswell mean that you are aware of your shortcomings as a real person, and daydreaming is a way of compensating those shortcomings (which you are aware of) by imagining yourself to be someone that you are not. It's not a parallel, it's an opposite of Narcissus

>>12101352
What evidence do you have for this claim? I would never have guessed it's a chick from the writing style.

>>12101443
yeah but forward I can't undo anything

>>12101446
It sounds like you don't understand the story of Echo and Narcissus, frankly. The whole point is he's captivated by a fantasy and in obsessing with the unreal never comes to live or know himself.

>>12101394

I mean there's no such thing as connection, sexual or otherwise, since everything you experience is your own and every inference you make about that which is not you and not of your own, perhaps ostensibly so, is also your own to the same degree. Therefore the "emotions associated with sexual connection" are more tenuous than those associated with masturbation, and their absence indicates mental fortitude rather than deficiency.

>>12101353
You can get better, I have since I have found out. Think about the underlying causes of your aversion. I've had great success using psychedelics and enactogens, stay away from weed. Just force yourself into social situations and try out some magic mushrooms/MDMA(unless you have a history of psychosis) don't try to think about your disorder while you trip, you can't force it. Just try to have fun. I recommend moderate doses, 1/8th of mushrooms, 2 tabs of acid. .14 of good molly or sass(don't get addicted), ketamine, nitrous, etc.
This won't necessarily fix your problems but what it will do is show you how it feels to have a geniune emotional connection to yourself, others and the world around you. Just knowing what that love feels like has been invaluable to me. Im recommend psychedelics primarily just for their own sake. Using them for therapy should be done after you are familiar and if you want to. It has risks, but if you are anything like me you will be desperate enough. We actually do have some extraordinary qualities. Intellegent schiziods have alot of potential, especially if they are self aware.
If you are suicidal I highly recommend smoking some DMT.
Get outside too, learn how to dive, go hiking, there are plenty of things you can enjoy. Try your best to stop the incessant fantasy.

>>12101446
Narcissistic people cannot stop being narcissists, you make it sound as though the imagining is recreational rather than a visceral and constant form of self sabotage, you can call it coping or compensation if you want, but the fact is it's the source of their problems just as much as it is their relief.

>>12101450

>>12101458
>hurr dur solipsism I dreamed I was a boogerfly brain in vat durr hurr

>>12098682
Am I a schizoid if I would like close relationships but it just requires too much effort so I don't even try or is that just depression

>>12101458
Strongly disagree. Read this, Peirce is prerequisite.

OP here. Can you guys please not turn my thread to some self help/psychological diagnoses thread. I asked for books.

>>12101385
>>12101446

Associating yourself and engrossing yourself in with dreams, whether that's literal or figurative, is favoring the symbolic over the real. Why would you do this? In order to escape reality and construct something you can control, i.e. a narcissistic self-image.

>>12101462
When it is a constant form of self-sabotage, then you are correct. I was talking about the tendency to call all people who daydream (without these fantasies interrupting their daily lives) narcissistic

>>12101477
fuck off cunt

>>12101467
That's typical of many schizoids(like me), but also could be a manifestation of depression (also me)
That isn't enough info to say for sure.

>>12101477
>me me me me

hmmmm

>>12101477
>asking people that don't read for book recommendations

>>12101477
>I knew this was going to happen when I posted the diagnositic critera for SPD
Get fucked dweeb

>>12101479
Isn't it the point that Narcissus *can't* control the reflection and thus dies waiting

>>12101477

Oh sorry OP will do.

I recommend this book by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson called 12 Rules for Life an Antidote to Chaos by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson it will help you help yourself :D

psychology was a mistake

>>12101464
>no-one has ever pretended to be a girl on the internet before
His name is Chris Ballas, Google it if you care, he got doxed a while ago so it's no secret.

>>12101479
>favoring the symbolic over the real
>implying this is bad

Why would the particulars of reality matter, why not the symbolic which encompasses all and is therefore realer than all
I detest the shackles of mundanity, you call this narcissism but I do not believe myself to be special, as I am not an individual but I take on the archetype, abandon my free will and become a god instead

>>12101460
>I've had great success using psychedelics and enactogens, stay away from weed.
>This won't necessarily fix your problems

Stop trying to pull people into your self destructive lifestyle. You might have some narcissistic delusion that you're actually choosing life and growing as a person, but you're just a master of lies and denial.

If you want to kill yourself have the guts to do it alone.

>>12101477

Meditations I love this book

>>12101512

Not being obsessed with the image would be the win, not controlling it.

>>12101536

Delusional, insane, and moronic.

>>12101588
you mean redpilled, based, and based?

>>12101553
I just want to help. There is nothing wrong with sharing my thoughts, the people who read it can think for themselves. I've unironically haven't held a gun to my head, or even considered it since the first time I smoked dmt. That was an almost daily ritual before.
Just do the drugs fag. There is literally nothing wrong with psychedelics, they are safer than milk and offer a legitimate way to grow as a person. molly may rot your brain and make you anhedonic if you do to much but if you avoid that it can be a positive experience. I don't care about your boomer aversion to drug use or your juvenile cynic nay-saying.

>>12101595

No, I mean you're retarded.

>>12101465
>>12101473

Pathetic. You deserve your delirium.

>>12100570
shut up nigger

>>12100864
what psychedelics do u recommend

>>12101693
back to /pol/ and enjoy your ban

>>12101710
oxygen deprivation, put a plastic bag over your head
or stab a socket with a knife to release massive amounts of DMT

>>12101585
>People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are characterized by persistent grandiosity, excessive need for admiration, and a personal disdain and lack of empathy for others.[6][7] As such, the person with NPD usually displays arrogance and a distorted sense of superiority, and they seek to establish abusive power and control over others.[8]

I get what you are saying, but I feel like the diagnosis for narcissism is going real cheap these days

>>12101112
poor people have no excuse for not having a job

>>12101192
>um excuse me, it's a CHEMICAL disorder. i have an IMBALANCE OF NEUROTRANSMITTERS and if i stop taking my feelgood pills i will BE PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO STOP MYSELF FROM IMMEDIATELY COMMITTING SUICIDE. how dare you imply that i have any control in this matter

>>12101671
>Subscribes to 20th century psychologism that has been thourghly btfo by Peirce, Ferge, and Husserl, and all of the pragmatism/semiotics, analytic, and contential philsophy that followed them.
>Heh, enjoy your delirium.
>every inference you make about that which is not you and not of your own, perhaps ostensibly so, is also your own to the same degree.
Every single logician after Peirce and Frege disagrees with this. Propositions are more primitive than sense-data, and sense data is the product of inferences made from external propositions, moron.

>>12101749
You don't know what's it's like. Stop it.

>>12101750
19th century**

>>12101752
i don't even agree with that dude, but if you're expecting empathetic treatment on 4chan of all places I don't know what to tell you.

>>12101750

I dread to think about what the second sentence actually means, but entertain me on the "external". External...in what way?

>>12101750
>>12101800

I bet this is equivalent to:

I dreamed in first person, therefore I dreamed.

I dreamed in third person, therefore someone else, not me, dreamed.

Just infernal cretinism.

>>12101750
>Propositions are more primitive than sense-data, and sense data is the product of inferences made from external propositions, moron.

I dreamed that I was in Tajikistan, therefore I guess I was. Had I slept and dreamed indefinitely than...I guess I would've been in Tajikistan indefinitely? So THIS is the power of Empiricism.

>>12096440
I re-read the story and didn't get it either unless you mean Kafka's tendency to have his protagonists see events in a very solipsistic way in general

I dreamed that I was in Tajikistan, therefore I guess I was. Had I slept and dreamed indefinitely then...I guess I would've been in Tajikistan indefinitely? So THIS is the power of Empiricism.

>>12101760
I don't care about empathy, I just don't want people to spout stupidities

>>12101843
>>12101870
>deleting and reposting because of a single fucking typo in an anonymous imageboard

What kind of a self-conscious hell are you living in you miserable bastard

>>12101875
I'll see you when hell freezes over.

>>12101875
not possible as long as humans remain human

>>12101752
I have clinical depression, and he's right. Stop making excuses.

>>12101875
And I want a blowjob from the Queen of England.
Though break kid.

>>12101473
>>12101750
>>12101800
>>12101821
>>12101840
>>12101870

>>12101906
>I have clinical depression, and he's wrong. Keep making excuses.

>>12101918
This did not make things clearer, the opposite maybe.

>>12096460
>I do like k-on though so there's that.

Sorry but, faggot detected

>>12101918
Criiinge. You have no idea what you are talking about. There is nothing worse than an uniformed dilletante speaking with authority. I want to beat you up. This is ridiculous and nonsensical.
These diagrams are completely retarded, show no logical relationships beyond vague inclusion of undefined suppositions. I'm going to ignore the idiotic argument that you think represents me and focus on what you think about yourself.
>Precieved by me
Do you not realize that 'me' is a preception, you moronic homunculi?
What draws your distinction between this supposed duality of internal and external preceptions. All preceptions, including the idea of a precieving-entity are grounded in signs that have an external existence grounded outside of the preception. This can't be explained to you because you arent literate. You don't even know about the linguistic turn, let alone semiotics. Be humble, go read something before you embarrass yourself further.
>>12101821
Dumb
>>12101800
It is grounded outside of it's preception

>>12102004
k-on is fun

>>12102051
>This can't be explained to you because you arent literate.

This isn't even a grammatically sound sentence, let alone an argument. Is English grounded outside of your perception too?

>>12102118
>Does not compute

OP is a faggot

>>12102118
>Is English grounded outside of your perception too?
Of course it is. That's what the linguistic turn was about.

>>12102141

I'm sorry to hear that. I pray it will turn again and deliver you from sounding like a GG Allin song.

I don't know man, my life has not been a dumpster fire but I still wish that I wasn't born sometimes. Shit's weird.

>>12098682
Is this schizoid or something else?
>every hobby I've ever had has been physically solitary, and almost every hobby has been completely solitary (I did play CSGO for a bit)
>at school I actually talked to quite a lot of people once I warmed up to them, but I never initiated first contact and I never talked to 95% of them outside of school - the ones I did were virtually always through group chats
>acted quite autistic, alternating between never shutting up and barely mumbling, people found me funny but a bit odd as well as seeing me as really smart, I was quite a cyborg
>outwardly seemed completely emotionless but in reality was a neurotic faggot with extreme mood swings that had recurring suicidal thoughts starting in Year 7 or 8 and hated the idea of self diagnosing so much that I constantly got pissed at myself for being a Tumblr faggot when I definitely had something wrong, also the tiniest fucking thing could make me feel terrible but at the same time I was really emotionally detached
>in Year 8 and 9 I tried going out with a group of people who I got on well with but didn't have that much in common with mostly, and every single time I would just end up sitting next to a goal while everyone else played football, I completely stopped going out in Year 10
>in school I obviously didn't get girls, a few saw me as the kind of adorably odd, really smart guy but those were almost all class-only friendships and they all thought of me like a puppy - two girls initiated online contact so we talked a bit but both of them saw me as the odd smart puppy I just mentioned and we both knew that a relationship wouldn't happen and probably wasn't a great idea, also even with the ones I was closest with I was never able to initiate conversation outside of class and cover lessons where we were told to sit boy/girl sent me into panic attacks - I could be fine with talking to a girl I sat next to and as soon as the seating plan changed I would barely be able to mumble to them
>for getting girls I liked the abstract idea of it but had absolutely no drive to do it, I liked the thought of a gf but couldn't be arsed, I liked the occasional times I went out but had no desire to do it more than a few times a year before completely stopping
>never learnt to make friends outside of a class environment with a seating plan that regularly changes so as soon as I finished secondary school I depended entirely on other people initiating
>a few people did but only for those classes, became a complete loner
>hugged family a lot but was in some ways even more autistic with them, never said any of this shit to them
>was always quite emotionally detached but had intense emotions from art, other solitary hobbies and just thinking
>developed intense emotional connections to 4chan to the point where I second guess virtually every post I make
Sorry for fag blogpost that went on a complete tangent, this is going to take me at least ten minutes to muster up the courage to post

>>12098418
lel

>>12098682
nigga you acting like WedMD go fuck yourself, you and your dumbass self-diagnoses

>>12098641
This

>>12102645
I don’t know desu. But you sound a lot like me

>>12098682
>tfw I'm literally the 21st century schizoid man

not op. im a "textbook" narcissist, whatever that means. ive seen professionals. im glad i am.

>>12102645
>this is going to take me at least ten minutes to muster up the courage to post
I was like that once but after using chatrooms for a while and virtually meeting some internet people that I looked up to I got over it
I wish I could stop giving a fuck about IRL the same way, but no way I'm going to be socially active

>>12098687
you despise us because you know we're right

>>12103092
>>12100496
I have a passion and it doesn't make a difference, if anything my life can reach new levels of shit now, all under the excuse that only my passion matters and everything else is minutia
and then all my self worth hangs on my passion also

>>12102051
Perception anon, what the fuck is preception

>>12103179
I also have a “passion,” but whatever pseudo-schizoid mind-numbing trap I’ve fallen into has making me completely inept. I find it nigh impossible to be creative, and it only makes me more self-critical.
On the bright side, this thread’s inspired me to finally take a proper shroom trip. I’ve been in therapy for years and tried quitting weed and alcohol and I’m completely sick of trying for naught.
>indifferent to things most people find in or exciting
>learn to detect and respond to basic and some advanced social cues just to avoid coming to terms with the fact that I have nothing to say
>people are either boring or annoying
>not even degenerate diversions are pleasurable for me anymore
>have tried eating healthy and lifting but I don’t have the motivation to keep it up
Psychedelics have always seemed like a meme to me but I honestly don’t know what else to do at this point.

>>12096393
Not sure if it quite matches your feel but The Book Of Disquiet contains a great amount of dreaming.
Molloy might also take your fancy but not too sure.

>>12096393
read this

>>12103439
YES!!!!!!

>>12096393
"How to stop being a huge fag: For Dummies"

>>12103415
'tried quitting' stop being a pussy and commit either way

>>12096393
I try to lucid dream to escape this boring fucking existence. I managed to get it to work sometimes. It feels good having some control in my life over something.

>>12103087
Feast on my attention!

>>12103092
See
>>12101112

>>12098682
DUUUUDE THIS IS LITERALLY ME WTF AHAHAH MAN LOL PUT ME IN THE SCREENCAP

Generation X- Douglas Copeland.
Not very good IMO, but seems very appropriate to your situation.

>>12103672
4 months without either. Didn’t feel a lick better, even with therapy. It wasn’t that I couldn’t resist any further, it was that I couldn’t see the benefit in doing so.

>>12098682

all of you, stop fapping and most likely you will change to the other extreme

realize you are a bunch of hormones walking around you bunch of snowflakes

>>12100808
Scratch this. I tried having sex tonight for the first time in years, mission success! I don't know if it's the LSD or the fact that I lowered my standards from when I was younger and went for a fat dork instead of a sexy promiscuous gymnast that can put her ankles behind her neck. I highly doubt that simple preformance anxiety would be enough to cause me to be impotent during my previous encounters which were more enjoyable in every way. Something has changed. Later dweebs, I'm off to download tinder to find someone who I actually want to fuck.

>>12100630
So you back down from challenges and say instead that life is too boring? Do you see an issue with that?

>>12096440
>so you have no excuse not to read it.
if only you knew

>>12102645
Honestly, sounds like it's a low level kind of depression. You sound British (secondary school), go to a doctor. Referrals to psychiatrists can take a while, but it'll be worth it for you. I say that as someone who is pretty similar, got told to go to a doctor by a psychiatrist I was interviewed by for a job, and had been putting it off for the best part of a year

>>12101726

Anon, I'm coming from Freud and existential psychoanalysis as a background, seeing a preference for a dream or symbolic world as narcissism predates the DSM (which I assume you are quoting) by many decades.

>>12101406

>But 9/11 didn't take. I cannot explain this. >Within a year, two years, we were back to the >same old narcissism. "Everything changed >after 9-11" turned out to be exactly false. The >stock market went back into familiar bull run >mode, and in 2006 Time named "You" it's >Person of the year, a laughable move at any >time in history, let alone post-9/11 and waist >deep in Iraq. 9/11 should have changed >everything. It changed nothing.

Your reading comprehension needs work.

>>12105068
I was referring the beginning of the post, where he fully expected it to affect people somehow.
>lectures people on reading comprehension
>is an idiot