/lit/ - Literature

>>12091326
Ive read Kierkgaard and Neitzches to girls while putting them to sleep.

>>12091338
But it sounds like you drugged them with sleeping pills or some shit.

>>12091326
>he doesnt get smothered by his thicc gfs ass until hes unconscious and wakes up the next morning
lmao @ ur life m8

>>12091347
But she does sit on my face, but not all the time. It's a submissive act, you shouldn't do it too much.

>>12091326
>not having your bull fucking your girl to sleep while you read zizek

>>12091350
This, you have to start sitting on hers to show dominance

>>12091358
>not having zizek fucking your girl to sleep
LOL

>>12091345
My voice is their drug

>>12091350
>you shouldn't do it too much
thats probably why she left me

>>12091361
/lit/ has the best sense of humour of any board. One of the reasons why I keep coming back.

>>12091338
>Kierkegaard AND Nietzsche
???
And proofread your posts, holy fuck anon.

>>12091338
>Ive read Kierkgaard and Neitzches to girls while [murdering them].

>>12091326
I don't know how to read...

>>12091361
>>12091377
But I do this unironically, and infact she enjoys it more than sitting on my face.

>>12091397
Thas ok, fren, no one here does.

>>12091423
This is for the exact same reason girls like sucking cock much better than getting their disgusting piss flaps licked, contrary to what closet gay beta males will tell you.

>>12091431
My gf wants me to kiss/lick her pussy, and has been asking for years, and I still refuse to do it.

>>12091437
Good, she would lose all respect from you then cheat on you and leave you almost instantly.

>>12091377
/fit/'s is pretty high tier

>>12091437
Why do you let her nag you about it? Kick her in her cunt next time she asks.

>>12091451
good idea

>>12091377
shit contribution

next time you leave, don't return

>>12091385
>he starts a sentence with a conjunction

>he doesn’t write the works of Marquis de Sade in Braille on his gf’s pussy
Never gonna make it.

my mommy gf reads books to me :3

>>12091326
The women I date just complain about how they're fat when they're not. They find books ''boring''. I've literally never met a woman in my life with a serious appreciation for literature.

>>12092040
So what? Women aren't for literature. They're for giving you babies, sucking your cock, and giving you a chilled life.

>>12092040
then you should probably change something about the way you meet women.

>>12092056
Trying too hard there, champ.

>>12091326
I don't have a gf

>>12092105
welcome to the suicide club

>>12092072
Where does one meet women interested in books?

>>12092164
at little hipster bars

>>12092072
>wanting intellectual women
Intellectual =/ intelligent. I've been with high IQ women with intellectual interests and high IQ women with an interest in watching reality TV, the latter is superior to the former. Not even memeing. Overly intellectual women are very masculine.

>>12091326
I had a qt over this weekend. We ended up at my place spontaneously since we found ourselves in the neighbourhood by the end of the night. She was a little cold so I gave her a blanket, asked if I could do anything else, like bring her tea or read her a bedtime story. She was interested in the latter so we both read a story to each other before sleeping. 10/10 cozy I want to gf her

>>12091326
i once read hamsun to my ex-girlfriend while fingering her

>>12091385
Im dyslexic

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1HDgdYwa0RW

>>12091326

My GF:
>Anonnnnn....I can't sleep, could you come read to me while I try to fall asleep?
>Please anonnn.....
*makes a cute pouty face*

Me:
>Bitch.
>You know I watch Sopranos clips on Youtube from 8:30 PM to 10:30 PM every night.
>It has become a solitary nightly ritual for me.
>Your presence would ruin that.
>Now away from me pig.

And that's how it's fucking done /lit/. Season 5 of Sopranos is better than pleasing the vapid whims of your woman.

>>12092425
Sopranos is a trash show only liked by Gen X, who are obsessed with crime drama

>>12092432

Imagine for a moment if you will, just how wrong this anon is. Try to picture just how terrible her taste in film and television is. I would even entertain the theory that this anon's poor taste is so prolific, it spills out into her meaningless and unfulfilling life. A reality she can only escape through the adoption of extreme contrarian opinions in an effort to convince herself these opinions somehow make her more intersting. Deep down though, she knows they don't.
Deep down. She knows The Sopranos is based.

>>12092469
are you using 'her' as the neutral pronoun you horrendous aberration

>>12092475

No, I just assumed you were a woman, because a man wouldn't dislike The Sopranos. You're not a woman? That is very surprising if I'm being honest with you.

Which one are you: Trans, Gay, or a good ol' fashioned weak male with high estrogen levels?

>>12092469
How can you tell its a girl?

>>12092490

Men don't dislike The Sopranos.

>>12092425
Sopranos Season 5 is peak television.

>>12092515
This guy fucking gets it.

>>12091371
>and my cock is the syringe

>>12092056
>They're for giving you babies, sucking your cock, and giving you a chilled life.
Finally, someone get it.

>>12092167
>at little hipster bars
Hipster women are the worst people in the world. Seriously. If you are talking to a full-on hipster woman and she doesn't set your teeth on edge with her pedestrian opinions and predictable contrarian opinions (that are actually just barely outside mainstream thought), then you need to seriously reevaluate your life.
A hipster woman is just the next evolution of a white upper middle class suburban girl from college to living off her friends couch. Hipsters are trash. Hipster women? They are toxic waste.

>>12093185
m8 i am trash myself, i deserve trash women

>>12091450
/fit/ was my main board for a few years. always had top tier banter and shitposts. with /lit/ not everything is good but when it's funny it's really funny

>>12091437
eating pussy is one of the most primal instinct things in the world in my opinion. read a couple articles on how to do it well, do it, blow her mind with it, and then you own her

>>12092489
based

I haven't even kissed a girl in three years. Im this time my neurotic predisposition has taken a toll on me since I've developed an actual phobia to intimacy with females combined with misogyny. In my position someone else would have gone to an escort to relieve himself but I'm unironically too prudish/Christian for that.
PS: I'm obviously hideous, such problems don't affect the good-looking.

>>12091437
Is this about eating box? Cuz that's disgusting and the fast track to women disrespecting you. Nothing signals more powerfully to a woman's primal instincts that a male is unfit for reproduction than him risking the health of his face and mouth to lap upon her beef. It's a huge thrill for her, sure, but not because of any clitoral stimulation. Her "ohs" and "ahs" are entirely derived by amazement at the male's silly self sacrifice. Completely deluded, the box eater will munch away confident that he is a supreme lover, when the woman is secretly aghast at the implications of where he's putting his tongue. She's had that part of herself bored and excavated by many colors of cunt conquerors until she lost count. So many suitors have emptied themselves inside that box, smacking victoriously her vulvar filets with their slick protuberant phalluses afterwards. And here is her blessed self-avowed "pussy eater," breaking a sweat trying to lick that same battered clam meat. He even thinks those the prickly sensations in his mouth are from his muscular exertion, but the box eater has just ingested the top STDs of all 37 countries visited by that writhing, smiling woman, and those itching sensations in his throat are microscopically shown to be the conquest of his nerve tissue by her minge's army of misandrist microbes. Destroying his cells outright, the box's pox overwrites the beta's genome, rendering him more reproductive for the Papilloma species than his own. Don't be a goof and lick cloven meat.

>>12091385
grammar rules dont exist

>>12093300
>her minge's army of misandrist microbes
lel

>>12093300
You have a really ugly, forced style man. Learn to reel it in and stop relying on faggy zingers.

>>12091326
>be op
>another day has gone by without finding a job, be furiously masturbating to an anime character who looks suspiciously young
>...
>"oh well, let's browse the 4chans and call it a day"
>open /lit/
>vomit into the text field ">HE DOESNT READ TO HIS GF XDDDDD"
>go to sleep hugging his dakimakura, or as his mom calls it, "jackie-chan pillow"

>>12093321
it's pasta newfriend

>>12091326
my gf left me

>>12093321
You were so desperate to put down someone elses writing you didnt even notice its a pasta. Kill yourself please.

>>12093324

I am now going to see if Jackie Chan pillows are thing, and, if they are, I am going to buy one and fuck it