/lit/ - Literature

Take the black pill

Sanshiro? Idk, sometimes I think about that book when I think about the phenomenon of oneitis

>>12074539
Go see a therapist and read der steppenwolf till the very end. I hope you make it.

>>12074539
We should have been smothered at birth anon.

>>12074539
Write it yourself.

Tell us about her anon.

A good book about this would be 'Get a Girlfriend' by Stop WhiningYouPatheticBastard

>>12074539
Swanns Love

>>12074539
brothers K, though its obviously not the main theme. best of luck, anon.

>>12074539
when i was 15 and wanted to kill myself over getting rejected by oneitis i read the sorrows of young werther, might be a good one to try, though it's about a guy who kills himself over getting rejected by oneitis

>>12074624
>tfw mitya's flight to grushenka
>tfw "and I would disappear"

This all boils down to you not being able to be happy without her. You're dependent. My suggestion would be to try to find something else (could be another woman but that's just switching poisons desu) that would make you happy.

I was once like this, more because of my nihilism which led me to become hedonistic and addicted to this one girl because I made her to be the "meaning of my life". Then I read a small little book called "W (or the law of inevitables)" which basically explains why life has a meaning and not so suddenly I stopped caring about her.

But like I said, get another girl or something.

>>12074539
>Any books about overcoming oneitis?
No, because 'oneitis' is the natural and normal human biological condition. 'Overcoming oneitis' is like overcoming right-handedness of overcoming bipedalism. Can't be done.

You shouldn't have acted like a tard and slept with randos. Our ancestors knew this; the universal human prohibitions against premarital sex aren't just them being dumb prudes.

My diary desu.

For serious though I am writing a novel just for you.

>>12074539
I saw her once at the age of 16. Didn't even get to speak with her, but it felt like my soul connected in a moment. 7 years later, and I haven't ever touched or even considered anyone else. I have since then gotten to know her, and even hinted towards the fact that I'm kinda obsessed with her (in a joking, friendly conversation), but I genuinely don't want anything other than her in life. I just want it to stop - either to have her, or to get over her. I hate the power she has to control my mind, to make my day with a word, or to fuck me up with a gesture. My chest feels heavy, my mind is slow, my insides feel poisoned. Not an hour passes without thoughts of her. I think she likes me, but I think she finds me boring - I'm relaxed where she is excitable, I'm soft where she is hard, we're opposite in most ways possible. I want her so bad. Please help me, bros

But there is nothing wrong with being in love. Tyler and Katie love each other and it has brought them together

>>12075059
you have low self-worth. you need to see a therapist or read the stoics (epiktet, seneca etc)

she is hindering your life dont let her get through with this. death is coming soon enough

>>12075059
Have you ever spoken to her? If not, do so and let your image of her be shattered. It sounds like you're worshipping her, and I can assure you, once you get to know any woman (or any person for that matter), you will eventually see they are not worthy of your worship.

Or if you do speak with her, you can confess your love for her and see how she reacts. She will almost certainly turn you down, not because you are necessarily an unworthy man, but because women aren't like you imagine.

>>12074539
Legit, leave your country and live in a completely new environment for a year. Or permanently move there if at the end of that year it seems the right thing to do (that is if you can do so legally).

>>12074631
using spoiler as actual spoiler huh

>>12074539
You've been wanting a girl for 7 fucking years and haven't even managed, as the bare minimum, to get your cock sucked by her in that time? Fucking hell, you faggots are pathetic. Ask me how I know you're an amerilard op.

>>12075059
>I'm soft where she is hard
gaaaay

>>12075059
Just confide in some other girl and she will steal you.

>>12074560
This, the cure for oneitis is always a new girl. I mean experience will change you in ways a book just cant, ever.

>>12074539
How do you keep this up for 7 years man? Also source? That cutie is amazing.

>>12074539
This was me when I was younger, with two different girls. Realize that they're better in your head. In real life they're probably annoying or awful in ways you aren't thinking of. Both of the girls I was in love with grew up to be fat and poor with shitty husbands and one of them is a bit nuts.
Women are people like you and completely self-absorbed. Find other women and realize that some are shitty at sex and some don't like it. Gather undesirable qualities in women and mentally attach them to those girls. In time this will happen without you trying. Even physically desirable people can have shitty personalities when you get to know them.

>>12074539
Not sure how helpful this is but you managed to express your feelings rather neatly in the OP. Maybe write it down in poem or even verse like a love letter. I know it's corny and seems simplistic but some girls would really dig something like that and if you're the romantic type and you can write you should play to your strengths like everyone else. Even if it doesn't go well the worst that could happen is that you push her away which sounds like at this point would be better than just continuing in the perpetual state of agony which you're in now

>>12074539
Carl Jung would call this an anima posession
You are confusing her with your internal ideal of womanhood itself so of course you are obsessed with her.
You need to realize that the thing you are so obsessed with is an internal archetypal image not an external real person.
Pay close attention to the things about her that differentiate her from the ideal and try to seperate them. You are living in a dream almost literally and need to become lucis or you will continue to become lucid. Maybe try some active imagination or something, you can talk to the ideal image u are projecting when she isnt around probably you do this all the time anyway, just wake up to tje fact that thats what u are doing.

Anyway look up jungian anima posession. Its not empirical, but its highly intuitive and useful

>>12075981
Must become lucid or yoh will continue to be consumed by it I mean

>>12074631
>sorrows of young werther
Unironically good advice.

>>12075981
Also wash your penis btw

>>12074539
Think about the fact that I don’t know this bitch, never will, and my life will be fine without her

start reading about the red pill, it was created for people like op

I'm getting over my oneitis now (well, we fucked and exchanged love letters and everything, but she's practically engaged and is not communicating anymore sooo....), and just looked up her facebook page for the first time. I actually feel a little better at the moment, realizing many of my inuitions about her less pleasant qualities are spot-on, and realizing that she can't possibly give 1/10th a fuck about me as I give about her. It's a blackpill of sorts, but necessary. Of course, everyone has unpleasant qualities and if she were to jump into my arms right now I wouldn't care about them. Still, it's a start.

The idea we have of people in our heads is worlds away from what people are actually "like".
But really anon, the only long-term solution is to begin a course of self-examination to try to understand the workings of your own mind.
I began with Freud's Introduction to Psychoanalysis a long time ago and haven't looked back.
Our feelings for others ultimately aren't about them - they're about ourselves, and the more we understand ourselves, the less we're prone to depending on the behaviour of others for fulfillment. That this is a difficult enterprise has been proven to my by the fact that, despite all the work I have done trying to improve myself and my understanding, the last few months have been some of the most (at times) miserable in my existence, which I would not wish on anyone. There is always more work to be done.

BUT FIRST:
Make a concerted effort to date her, don't literally tell her you're obsessed, just resolve to treat her like someone you just met who you want to date. If she goes with it - problem temporarily solved. If she doesn't, at least you know where you stand. If this prospect makes you fearful, maybe some anons can recommend a book where someone does exactly this.

>>12075923
listen to this person.

>>12074539
That girl looks like a 3d incarnate of the NPC meme

>>12074539
Read The book of life. Also watch this film- The Film of life. And if possible go attend this talk - The talk of life. And still if you don't find answers then kill yourself.

>>12075059
>t. Petrarch

>>12074539
the idea of a soulmate is ridiculous and whatever random girl you were with is just a retarded and flawed human
you can have any number of such girls

>>12074559
This. Overcome your emotionally dependent nature by channeling your fear into creative expression.

>>12074539
Correct me if I'm wrong, but having a oneitis this day in age means you probably lack experience with the opposite sex and/or in other areas in which people usually find fulfillment (family, work, artistic endeavors, learning, faith, etc.). The only thing you can do is do; do not remain idle. Work on your body, your career, your book, relationships with bros (this is important), your parents, your church, and so on. Most importantly, do not neglect your spirit. Read the Bible and other stories that put your experience into perspective

>oneitis
This "word" is cringey af
Sounds like something normalfags would say.

>>12074539
Angler fish has an attractive light it uses to survive. Angler fish cannot understand you and what you can understand about angler fish can only make that light lose its shine. Angler fish is so feminine it has completely emasculated its species' males into bodily organs.

She looks good but what do you know about her?

>>12074539
get her

>>12076141
lmao
no just deal drugs or something
the fucking people on here

>>12075059
Replace your love for her with love for our Lord and savior Jesus Christ

>>12076208
this post made me smile in appreciation.

>>12074539
read this OP:
>>12076011
>Our feelings for others ultimately aren't about them - they're about ourselves
You want power over your own life back? You need to realize that the person that has "poisoned your mind" is yourself. It's a sweet poison though, so it will be hard to stop drinking. Fill your life with other people and activities (even though nothing holds up to the idea of her).

t. 14 years deep in my own hopeless infatuation

>>12074539
>>12075059
OP, you make my heart ache. I wish you well

>>12075358
t. watches anime

7 years ??? Damn

>>12075059
How have you known her from age 16 to 23? Did you follow her and enroll in her college? And are you not bothered by all the dick she's taken while you lie awake thinking about her?

>>12076536
OP here.
I have not known her personally for those 7 years. I only became aware of her at 16, because we had a lot of friends in common. I only met her in person 3 years later, and we only became friends this year - all throughout that time, though, I have felt the same way.

>And are you not bothered by all the dick she's taken while you lie awake thinking about her?
She is religious, and has only been in one relationship in that time. I've been volcel, despite having many a chance to fool around with different girls, because there isn't a woman I have met in all my life who holds a candle to her. I don't know if I suffer under some spell or curse, or if I am afflicted with some illness, but it is as if all of womankind has been made forbidden for me with her as the only exception. I don't know if I want her, or if I hope to stop wanting her by having her.

>>12076608
Why don't you just read about seduction and relationships (fucking extensively, to make up for your seven years of inactivity), and then go get her if you like her so much?

Realize she's a human being, not your waifu. When someone is fictional, you can fabricate their character in any way you want. Once you get to know her, you very quickly realize that every facet of her character that you haven't filled in with your imagination is very much there and isn't ideal.

She takes painful shits, she lies and says intentionally hurtful things when she's angry, she's solipsistic and selfish, she doesn't have a lot of interesting things to say, she doesn't feel like doing that thing you've really wanted to do together for a long time, so on and so forth. She's a normal human being, and deserves to be treated as such. Even if you do pursue her and things go great, at some point she's going to say or do something that just deflates you and makes you think "Ah, shit, she's really not that special" and you're going to treat her like the regular woman she is.

Just ask her out. It doesn't matter if she says yes or if the date goes well or anything, because no matter what happens, the result is going to be better than you endlessly torturing yourself with thoughts of 'what could have been'.

>>12074539
I swear to God, you guys are using "Any books about this and that" to push your miserable life problems as a topic. Post it in the "what's on your mind" thread or go to /adv/.

As a general rule, we don't fucking know. I haven't met a single male who fucking knows. My whole approach game is based upon the fact that I have no clue what I'm doing.

>>12076651
I want a corgi, but I don't want to pick up his shit when I take him for a walk.

The Sun Also Rises. Not because he gets over her, but because when you see what Jake goes through you see what bullshit it is.

>>12075059

anon there is one way: you have to make feeling clear, either by telling her or by making a move on her. This will force you into a position where you are either accepted or rejected. From there you can only have her or go away from her. Be brave and do it, it's the only way to unlock this.

>>12076650
>says intentionally hurtful things when she's angry
This part really makes me wish I was gay sometimes. Women are savage.

>>12076721
As an addendum to this, it has to be an out and out rejection. I got fobbed off when I asked a girl I loved out. Her response to me asking her out for coffee was something along the lines of:
>I'd love to but I'm really busy.
Later found out that she had a boyfriend she never told me about (though she's a little more open about it now). I know it was a rejection and I know logically that she isn't interested but I'm still obsessed with her because there's always a infinitely small glimmer of hope that she might actually like me and when she finds herself no longer busy and no longer encumbered with boyfriend she'll go for that coffee with me. Cos y'know she said she'd love to, right?

It's a delusion of course but not one I've been able to shake for very long. It's like a tumour I manage to excise once in a while before growing back the next day just as strong and large and dangerous than ever.

>>12074539
Lkol you gay

>>12076806

Yeah that's why I was insisting on a confession or an attempted kiss or something similar. The important thing is that the situation is laid among you in the clearer way possible, that is, she knows about your feeling and acknowledges. This way you have no escape: you either go for it and win, or you lose and go away.

had oneitis but broke up with her because i was only going to cheat on her, now am devoid of ever loving another girl because she set the bar so high

>>12075059
Celebrity reduction prayer by open mike eagle

>>12075990
Didn't it cause a wave of Liebestot? People killing themselves over love

>>12077052
nah. People killing themselves because they idolized the hopeless romantic that kills himself over love.

>>12075059
>>12074539

>>12076141
laughed out fucking loud when you said to read the Bible

people with oneiti have a deeply flawed understanding of how relationships work

>>12076608
You stalked her for 7 years?

>>12075059
>>12074539
are you me.

homeschooled basement dweller. go to a very close-knit church where everyone knows each other essentially worldwide, so no one ever completely exits one another's social circle. never been in a real relationship obviously.

i have had 3 of these, all who i met for like 5 minutes in real life and obviously had no platonic (let alone romantic) connection with, then disappeared to states away.

then i added them on facebook and instagram and cyberstalked them from high-distance planetary orbit for years at a time. like depression except 10x more deranged, psychotic, indulgent, slothful and gluttonous.

> 3 years, age 10-12 | was just a stupid kid
> 5 years, age 14-19 | really knew better at this point, but my dick was doing the thinking. notes-from-underground-tier autistic performance. she has me blocked on instagram. sometimes meet mutual friends of hers and get shit on when they connect up that i was That Guy. un-spoken-of by my few irl friends because i was such an autistic effete square beta during it.
> 2 years, 20-23 (present) | still have an idiotic feeling i still have a chance with her, also don't know how to live without the idea of chasing someone at this point

I am successful otherwise, just can't come up with any pursuit that doesn't seem colorless in comparison... Understanding a real relationship is completely alien from whatever I am doing currently destroys the only engaging pursuit I have.

i suppose it's like people who are weaning off opiates, it takes some time for the brain's happiness mechanism to re-normalize to life without drug-spikes.

except we never did drugs, we just allowed ourselves to be victim to chronic masturbatory cyberstalking

>>12076174
Make up a better one then

>>12074539
>putting some dumb cunt who rejected you on a pedestal for YEARS
lmaoing at your life right now, the most pathetic thing ive ever read in days

>>12074539
you do this to yourself. it's your mind. your mind is weak. work on that.

>>12078149
Why do so many people on this board grandstand like they're not pathetic losers? You post on 4chan.

>>12078174
>why do pathetic losers act out with poor conduct
hmm

>>12078174
Not everyone who posts on 4chan is a loser.

As a matter of fact most people here don’t even watch anime

>>12074539
Fiction won't help with this shit .This is the only one you will ever need,read it faggot.

>>12078508
>Not everyone who posts on 4chan is a loser.
Lol oh man. I've been here over a decade. Left for 4 years while in the Army (07-11), and I'm here to tell you- anyone who even VISITS this site is a loser, regardless of how you measure success.

>>12078560
Hm, no. Fraid not. That’s just your own insecurities, don’t let them get to me. I have a blonde DD breasted girlfriend and a job where I make a decent amount of money.

Let me give you a tip: just because you can hide your identity on this site doesn’t mean you should want to, loser. Please don’t let your insecurities rub off on me.

>>12075059
You are wasting the best years of your life pining after someone that in all likelyhood is not worth it desu. I have unironically been there and I regret chasing that one tail when I could have had a feast.

Get over it, move on. You will forget eventually.

>>12078613
Don’t like it’s not worth it. Sometimes it is worth it. Love IS worth it. LOVE IS REALLY REALLY WORTH IT, KATIE

But in this case you’re right maybe not. He’s a little extreme even for me

>>12078574
you're a loser, loser

>>12078639
You’re jealous

>>12078635
>LOVE IS REALLY REALLY WORTH IT, KATIE

who the fuck are you and why did you use that name

I unironically shitted in my pants because thats the name of the girl I had oneitis with

What a mindfuck

>>12074539
This girls face is so perfect. I CRAVE someone like that. I feel empty inside when thinking about it.

I've had girlfriends but no body has made me feel what this girls FACE is making me feel. I don't even know her personality, smell, voice, lower body, but still!

What is this and how do I fix it?

Op you day she poisoned your mind..the reality is that you are poisoning your OWN mind. Look into cognitive behavioral therapy. Realize youre literally doing this to yourself. Cut contact with her and get yourself together.

>>12078654
Just a coincidence, man. Don’t worry about it. I ended up with her. Reality has a pattern of trying to make you disappointed for falling in love. You and I are at war with this side of reality.

You see, there is nothing wrong with winds in love and being a guy and being emotional about it. The world wants you to think it’s wrong but there’s nothing wrong with it. You might have to give this one up, but if you don’t, just think of me and my perseverance. It pays off my friend. And if the woman is good she will understand.

If not, don’t worry about her anymore and find another woman to put your hopes, faith, and dreams in

>>12074539
she’s fucked lots of other men now and doesnt think about you
>>12074631
that’s not a oneitis retard, you’re just a gross incel

>>12075059
>Im relaxed where she is excitable, I'm soft where she is hard, we're opposite in most ways possible.
This is probably a major red flag, what exactly is it about her that separates her from any other 2 legged fleshbag with a cunt if you don't have a genuine emotional connection?

I was attached to someone like this for about a year, eventually I thought fuck it and may as well ask her, she was a close friend for a time and she suspected this would happen.
To cut a long story short, she has Stockholm syndrome for someone who was cheating on her which she has since got back with, and shut me down.

After this I felt like shit for a while, but the image of her as a perfect women faded and I could see clearer what she is really like, and what our relationship would turn out to be.

The moral of the story, just talk to her. The road to rejection is better than no road. The sooner you move forward the better, do you want another 7 years of this?

Crime and punishment or the bible godspeed anon

>>12075981
What's a good book to start out with Jung?

This thread should be deleted and everyone in it should be banned. Fuck you fags, this isn't on-topic, I'm tired of you /r9k/ vermin shitting up my beautiful board.

>>12078778
shit, I had no idea Napoleon was baldfag, truly /oneofus/

>>12075981
Where can I learn more about anima possession?

>>12076608
>there isn't a woman I have met in all my life who holds a candle to her
>>12076991
>devoid of ever loving another girl because she set the bar so high
my ex is still the only girl who i have ever found to be genuinely funny. i don't mean that in some sexist way either, it's just the truth. she was so fucking smart

>>12074539
same here but I'm at 13 years. I'm 24 years old

I wish I could go back to being completely stoic all the time. She invited me into her life, kicked me out the back door when things got serious and she decided she won't leave her guy (he's not even a bad guy, making this all the more fucked), and not a day goes by that I don't fantasize over the sweet release of granite-bound freefall.
FML

>>12078778
>Post on /r9k/
>Reeee get out chad
I've made meaningful contributions to a couple legit threads so far today anon, it could be worse

>>12075981
>>12078911
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn5niRfDEzU

>>12078778
Tru dat.
If only we could have had serious discussions...

>>12078574
>I have a blonde DD breasted girlfriend and a job where I make a decent amount of money.
Typing this makes you a loser, regardless of its veracity.

The Doll by Bolesław Prus

>>12074539
It's great that thinly veiled blogshit "any books about x" threads like this are allowed to stay up, while on-topic threads about controversial philosophy like the one about Adorno from yesterday get pruned.

>>12074539
Seek treatment for your borderline personality disorder. It will take years to change how fucked up you are.

The last girl I lived had actual autism and was clearly a strange person. When I broke up with her for going through my private texts she told everyone I raped her and got her pregnant, and would come to my house at night and try to get in. We worked together so this obviously made things really weird for people. They had no idea that we even hung out and it made me look like a huge lying asshole.

The fucked up part is that I still miss her sometimes and she was genuinely an original person and fun to be around. Everyone else is an NPC, and I’m attractive and pretty good with women so I also think it was confounding for people. They most likely assumed I was taking advantage of her, but the truth is I resented they more than ever for their utter predictability and normie gossipy bullshit around the whole thing. TFW a girl with literal autism is better than the average female in 2018.

>>12078690
>that’s not a oneitis retard, you’re just a gross incel
that's abit rude and fyi i've bounced my flaccid cock off pussies before

anyway the feels of young werther is obviously about extreme infatuation with one girl, even when it stops being expedient and starts necessitating depressed insanity.

helped me get over that girl in high school, (although i said the same about a real nasty acid trip i had at the time, so i dunno if i ever really got over it) and op would probably enjoy it even if it's just for feels value alone.

>>12075981
Good post fren, I would also add this book:

>The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating by David Buss

For an evolutionary perspective,it's very elucidating.

>>12079380
>on-topic threads about controversial philosophy
/his/ is the philosophy board, get over it

>protip

Cut of all contact to said person either in a natural way (i.e. go far away to a school or a job), or just stop seeing, hide from social media. Then after a while the feelings go away, and I know that sounds like the maddest thing right now but it's really true, and after a little while you find someone new to obsess over, rinse and repeat.

all in all even if you get away with this one, it's probably gonna happen again, and if that doesn't go well with you, go talk to somebody. Or maybe just go talk to somebody already